The Story of a Soul

30 June 1954

Miwani

Divinest Dearest Mother,

From day to day the draw towards You is constant. Today I asked myself: when shall I put my head in Your lap and renew my agelong relation with You, dispel my sorrows and confusions of years and dedicate my whole life to You?

The inner voice replied, "All this shall surely be."

Tonight, unlike as on other days, I sat in meditation at about seven, and my prayers were: "Dear compassionate Sweet Mother, I salute You. Today—right now, I remember You. May Your Grace manifest and let nothing happen except what You wish for me. Lead me to the true path—from darkness to the Light."

And at once, although there was no sign at all of rain, I saw a lightning flash and heard a roar of thunder.

You have heard my prayers and granted them.

At that period too a lady gave me the address of Sri Krishna Prem—Ronald Nixon. Although I did not know him, I wrote him a letter, expressing my aspiration to lead the spiritual life wherever the Supreme Lord willed. This was his answer:

Srimati Savita Devi

Jay Sri Krishna,

I received your letter a day or two ago. I am glad to hear that you are a worshipper of Sri Krishna. That is the best thing that any of us can be, the one thing that, in the end, no one will have cause to regret. All else changes and passes away: He alone stands the same forever. May His blessings be with you and guide you to His feet. I enclose His (charn-tulshi).

With all blessings,
Yours sincerely
Sri Krishna Prem

Sri Aurobindo's very close disciple Dilip Kumar Roy has written in his book Yogi Sri Krishna Prem:

In discussing philosophical and spiritual matters, Krishna Prem has a way of going straight to the very heart of a problem. He always speaks from the depths of his personal realization. For him bhakti is not emotional rapture as such, but self-giving to Krishna, which is naturally accompanied by emotional rapture. It is "the offering of the mortal (ahuti) in the pure flame of the immortal." Such self-offering must be, he agrees with Sri Aurobindo, total and unconditional. It involves "the staking of everything that does not matter for the one thing that does." It is the complete replacement of the ego by Krishna's Will.

Also during this time in Africa—from April to September 1954—Dyuman, a senior sadhak of Sri Aurobindo Ashram and one of the Mother's attendants, sent me two messages along with blessing-packets from the Mother. The message of August 15th 1954 stirred my whole being:

The Hour of God

There are moments when the Spirit moves among men and the breath of the Lord is abroad upon the waters of our being; there are others when it retires and men are left to act in the strength or the weakness of their own egoism. The first are periods when even a little effort produces great results and changes destiny; the second are spaces of time when much labour goes to the making of a little result. It is true that the latter may prepare the former, may be the little smoke of sacrifice going up to heaven which calls down the rain of God's bounty.

Unhappy is the man or the nation which, when the divine moment arrives, is found sleeping or unprepared to use it, because the lamp has not been kept trimmed for the welcome and the ears are sealed to the call. But thrice woe to them who are strong and ready, yet waste the force or misuse the moment; for them is irreparable loss or a great destruction.

In the hour of God cleanse thy soul of all self-deceit and hypocrisy and vain self-flattering that thou mayst look straight into thy spirit and hear that which summons it. All insincerity of nature, once thy defence against the eye of the Master and the light of the ideal, becomes now a gap in thy armour and invites the blow. Even if thou conquer for the moment, it is the worse for thee, for the blow shall come afterwards and cast thee down in the midst of thy triumph. But being pure cast aside all fear; for the hour is often terrible, a fire and a whirlwind and a tempest, a treading of the winepress of the wrath of God; but he who can stand up in it on the truth of his purpose is he who shall stand; even though he fall, he shall rise again; even though he seem to pass on the wings of the wind, he shall return. Nor let worldly prudence whisper too closely in thy ear; for it is the hour of the unexpected.

Sri Aurobindo, Essays Divine and Human: The Hour of God