Moments Eternal

The Four Aspects of the Mother

The Mother used to tell us so many things on Her own…

She was once walking in the Playground as the March Past was to begin in some time. She came and stood under the Neem-tree leaning against the wall in silence for a while. Then rather unexpectedly She began:

“I have come this time in all my aspects. This has never happened before in the history of the earth, I have never come in this totality.”

I looked at Her, wonder-struck. Looking gently at me, the

Mother just smiled. I asked Her all of a sudden: “Are you Mother Durga?”

The Mother smiled a little once again and nodded in agreement. I saw Mother Durga before me! What an indescribable form! Sri Aurobindo’s Durga-stotra flashed in my mind:

Mother Durga! Rider on the lion, trident in hand, thy body of beauty armour-clad…

Then I asked:

“Are you Mother Mahalakshmi?”

The Mother nodded once again in the same way. A mysterious smile lit up Her face yet again. An otherworldly loveliness flowed from Her. Standing close to Her, my heart filled up with a marvellous newborn joy. I felt the magic of the Mother’s immaculate beauty. There was so much enchantment in that magnetic beauty of Hers. Sri Aurobindo’s lines echoed in my ears:

Above them is the miracle of eternal beauty, an unseizable secret of divine harmonies, the compelling magic of an irresistible universal charm and attraction….

My uncontrollable curiosity compelled me once again and I

could not help asking:

“Are you Mother Mahasaraswati?”

The Mother answered each of my questions with the same compassionate love and for a few seconds revealed to me Her Mahasaraswati aspect. Her patience was infinite. I couldn’t control my curiosity and the questions kept coming.

“Mother, are you Rajrajeshwari?”

Once again the Mother nodded in agreement.

“Tranquil is she and wonderful, great and calm for ever.”

I felt the Mother very distant as She stood before me solemn and immobile.

I kept naming all the gods and goddesses and it was always the same question: “Are you Mother Anandamayi? Are you Mother Chandi? Are you Mother this, Are you Mother that?”

The Mother just kept nodding in assent. My bag of questions was inexhaustible! Finally, at the end, I asked Her:

“Are you Mother Mahakali?”

That vast amazing form of the Mother comes up before my eyes even today. How unattainable She looked as I stared at Her helplessly. Where was that ever familiar Mother of ours? That form of Hers was so unfamiliar that a terrible fear gripped me. But the Mother came back to normal within a flash. With a soft smile She took my hands into Hers. However, I could not come out of that state even with the divine touch of Her hands. I just stood there silently.

Sri Aurobindo’s description of Mahakali in the sixth chapter of The Mother flashed in my mind. Seeing the Mother in these different forms, I was overwhelmed by an unearthly sort of feeling. The Mother began talking to me as before and my fear slowly dissolved. The Mother was smiling again. I again found my Mother in the form of my friend.

I had the same experience on another occasion. One day

Manoj asked the Mother in the Playground: “Mother, why did you create boys and girls?”

The Mother kept quiet for some time. Then She laughed and said:

“Your seeing humans as boy or girl is not quite right. When I talk to you, I don’t think this is Manoj or that is Priti. I talk to the soul or the inner being that is within each one of you. This soul is not male or female. So don’t rack your brains with all these outer differences. You know that I am neither male nor female. One day you will realise who I am.”

The Mother looked at both of us with mysteriously happy eyes. It felt as if somewhere…I had a vision of Her in Her immensity. Just for an instant. And then once more She assumed Her usual form. I don’t know why but I felt that was indeed Her real form.

The Mother in Her Maheshwari Aspect

Quite unexpectedly the Mother would become still, immobile, quite distant…and keep staring into space. Her eyes were looking into some faraway place of which we had no idea. She was giving flowers and blessing each one with a gentle smile on Her face. But She was so steeped in a meditative state, so majestically immense and deep at that time that we could not find our everyday Mother then. This Maheshwari form of Hers was beyond our comprehension. She was surrounded by an infinite vastness, by an unparalleled, incalculable glory. I do not have the words or the ability to describe that incredible loveliness. Why, even a little child would come in front of the Mother and gape at Her face overawed. Even the little ones would feel as if the Mother was lost somewhere faraway…. As soon as they had received the flowers from Her hand they would run away and then keep looking at the Mother from a distance. Had these sensitive children experienced something? As they all assembled at a distance and looked at the still, tranquil image of the Mother, they would become quiet too. The usual cackle of children inside the Ashram would abruptly cease. And in that atmosphere of quiet everything felt wonderful even if I did not quite understand the reason for this. Like the rays of the sun, this stillness and tranquillity would penetrate each one of us and make us quiet. There was pin-drop silence all around then. How can one ever forget that kind of atmosphere? This inexhaustible, tender stillness and silence pervading the air?

If Lord of the Universe I call thee, Ah then, so far dost thou seem to me!

Experiencing the Mother in her Maheshwari aspect or Aditi made us feel very faraway indeed since we were so used to knowing Her as our friend and comrade. Like the five Pandavas who had always known Sri Krishna as their friend, we had the same rapport with the Mother. Even after receiving the vision, and experiencing the Mother in Her different forms and aspects, we were still used to seeing Her as our friend and that is how She was always present in our hearts and minds. Like Bhishma, Dronacharya and the others looked up to Sri Krishna as an Avatar, Nolini-da, Amrita-da, Pavitra-da, Andréda, Nirod-da, Dyuman-da, Purani-ji and so many other senior sadhaks always looked upon the Mother as Mother Aditi Herself, as Maheshwari. Whenever the Mother called out Pavitrada’s name he would at once answer the call with the greatest humility and obedience. As soon as André-da entered the Tennis Court, the Mother would wave Her tennis racket to greet him. And André-da would respectfully advance towards Her with folded hands.

Our rapport with the Mother was the rapport of Arjuna with Sri Krishna.

The Mother in Her Durga Aspect

The Mother is arranging flowers in Her first-floor room. Mridu-mashi is sitting by the door with her flower-garland. Mridu-mashi would come daily at this time to offer pranam to the Mother with her flower-garland. I don’t know what happened on that day but as soon as I entered the Mother’s room to get her flower-blessing, Mridu-mashi exclaimed:

“Mother, Priti is Saraswati, Pratima (Sarkar) is Lakshmi, and myself, I…” And saying this she jumped up and rushed to the Mother’s Feet and roared:

“I am Mahishasura!”

And she laughed a terrible laugh. She kept laughing like that looking at the Mother and I could hardly recognise Mridu-mashi. Her features looked strangely altered. Suddenly the Mother stood up and strongly pressed Mridu-mashi’s head down with Her Foot. I felt as if Durga was slaying the demon Mahishasura. For an instant the Mother revealed Her Durga aspect. Mridu-mashi’s uncontrollable laughter would not cease as the Mother, her eyes blazing, stood with Her Foot firmly pressing Mridu-mashi’s head.

The Mother in Her Mahalakshmi Aspect

Come! O Queen in golden garb, conch and lotus holding bright,

Come! Ma Lakshmi, take thy seat and fill this dwelling with thy light.

The first Lakshmi-puja, like the Durga-puja, took place in the Ashram in 1944. This first Lakshmi-puja was most significant. For this puja too, the Meditation Hall and the staircase were decorated with all kinds of flowers. There was an abundance of Harmony flowers. All the walls were covered with these lacelike flowers. One couldn’t take one’s eyes off from the two halls. These were my favourite flowers in childhood as I was always greatly attracted to their delicate beauty. It was only after coming to the Ashram that I found out that the Mother had called this flower ‘Harmony’. These pink, white and red flowers would fill my heart with joy.

When I was a child I used to leave for school very early in order to pluck these flowers along my way. The garden in the S.D.O’s house was fenced with these flower-vines. This property was beyond that well-known tank called the Naveen Sen tank. Sitting in a boat on this tank Naveen Sen had written his famous book Amar Jeevan. He had come to Feni as the S.D.O. and got this tank excavated and deepened. Its surroundings were most beautiful. On one side stood two houses: the munsif ’s and a tribunal. On the other side were the S.D.O’s house and another tribunal in front. There were all kinds of tall trees and flowers on this property. We felt we were in a dream-world here. Big Patience trees lined the boundary wall. Early in the morning the girls from the neighbourhood used to collect flowers from under these trees beside the Treasury house that was guarded by the police. Gathering these flowers required indeed infinite patience and so I was surprised when I learnt on coming to the Ashram that the Mother had named this flower ‘Patience’. The neighbourhood girls made garlands of Patience and offered some to Lord Sri Ram and left some in Babaji Gambhirnath’s puja-room. I used to make garlands for my father’s deity. We knew that this deity was Sri Aurobindo but we did not know then who he actually was.

Cormorant-like diving birds used to swim in the middle of the tank and from time to time plunge into the water looking, probably, for fish. We would stand in a group on one side of the tank and cry aloud to the birds:

“Dive again, dive again!”

And we felt as if the birds were obeying us as they dived into the water. And we would clap in delight. And then the girls put these flowers in their hair, some around their buns, some along their plaits. And as soon as the huge dog of that house began barking we would run off in a flash. On days when the dog was not on the leash we did not venture in that direction. We would go to school past the tribunal on the other side of the tank.

As we filed past the tribunal on our way to school, a wellknown lawyer of Feni stood in the verandah. On seeing us he always exclaimed:

“Rows of maids with earrings dancing…” And then suddenly shout:

“Eh! Why aren’t you wearing earrings?”

We would flee in fright. And then from a distance we completed the verse:

“With flowers freshly-plucked enchanting!” And then disappear altogether…

This gentleman was endowed with a huge belly. So one day, I came up with a trick to teach him a lesson. I told the girls:

“Look, as soon as we spot this man, I’ll ask: ‘Who goes there?’ And you will reply: ‘Me, big Belly.’ Then I’ll ask: ‘Who is behind?’ And you’ll loudly answer: ‘Me, Chandrakant.’ ” (His name was Chandrakant-babu.)

So a few days later when we took that path again to go to school we spotted Chandrakant-babu standing on the verandah as usual. As if he were waiting for us. Immediately I asked:

“Who goes there?” My friends replied: “Me, big Belly.”

“Who is behind?” I enquired.

And then I too joined my screaming friends: “Me, Chandrakant-babu.”

The man blurted out:

“Catch these girls, catch them!”

But we darted off in a wink. Running away on Sher Shah’s Grand Trunk Road laughing breathlessly as we arrived at school!

Let me recount one more amusing incident. The guard of the Treasury house next to the Patience trees would click his feet together as soon as he saw us. Then he lowered his gun to the ground and asked:

“Who goes there?”

Very scared we would all respond with one voice: “A friend!”

The guard would start laughing. The girls then asked: “What is he saying? What is the guard saying?”

Our knowledge of English was limited to “a cat sat on a mat” at that time, so, naturally, to be able to say “friend” made us terribly proud. It is from my elder brother, Saroj, that I had picked up this word.

Oh, there are so many amusing things that come flooding

Despite my fear of dogs I still used to take that path to Making alpana would start right from the afternoon. Bibha, Gauri, Minnie-di, Milli-di did this so beautifully. In Bengal on Lakshmi-puja day especially, the women covered the floors of their house, the puja-area, all the rooms and even the courtyard, with their exquisite alpana. Every house in every locality was adorned with alpana in order to welcome Ma Lakshmi. How could we invite her to stay in a place that had the slightest ugliness?

Sri Aurobindo has written in The Mother:

…But all that is ugly and mean and base, all that is poor and sordid and squalid, all that is brutal and coarse repels her advent. Where love and beauty are not or are reluctant to be born, she does not come.…

We had heard from our elders right from our childhood never to close the door loudly because Ma Lakshmi would be displeased. Our things were to be properly kept, neatly washed or cleaned. Otherwise Lakshmi would leave the house and go away. We always had to be measured and harmonious in our actions, thoughts and feelings, true worshippers of beauty, otherwise Ma Lakshmi would not stay.

What sort of goddess was she, I used to wonder in amazement. How quickly she gets offended! It was only when I read Sri Aurobindo’s description of Mahalakshmi in The Mother that I understood how much truth there was in what the elders said. My mother and grandmother and all the elderly ladies of the neighbourhood always said: “Don’t laugh loudly, especially at night, don’t walk with long, noisy strides. Do everything with beauty and measure.” Their nagging advice used to irritate me very much then. Now I feel: amazing! How did they know and understand the hold Mahalakshmi had over us?

Ranga-didima [maternal grandmother], mother’s jethima [elder aunt], was in charge of the provisions for the enormous Niyogi household. She herself stocked the rice, pulses, vegetables, spices, etc. required for the family. She would meticulously clean the pulses and cereals herself and store them properly. Though very young then, I used to help Ranga-didima. I enjoyed listening to her. While cleaning pulses or spices nothing that had fallen on the floor was thrown away but put back into the canisters carefully. I was quite astonished:

“Why are you picking this up? The canisters are full to the brim already!”

She always replied with a laugh:

“Do not waste even a single grain! Mahalakshmi doesn’t allow it. She abhors any sort of waste.”

These elderly ladies remembered the Mother quite unknowingly in different ways as they lived their lives. Probably this too is the Mother’s divine Grace.

Ranga-didima came to the Ashram two or three times. She even had the Mother’s darshan in Her room. She was very keen on getting the Mother’s charanamrita and so I told Nolini-da about it. As soon as Nolini-da told the Mother about it She touched some water with Her Feet and sent it to her. Naturally Ranga-didima was thrilled and with all her devotion drank this blessed charanamrita and shared it with all of us. In this way a long-cherished desire of mine too was fulfilled. Once when this didima was coming away after the Mother’s darshan, the Mother gestured to her to come back. She held her by the arms and looked into her eyes for a long time. Then She gave her flower-blessing a second time. This was to be Ranga-didima’s last darshan of the Mother. About a year after leaving Pondicherry she passed away. Probably that was why the Mother had called her back to give her a second flowerblessing. She had worshipped Ma Lakshmi all her life. How people follow the Mother’s guidance without even knowing it! And thus it was at Ma Lakshmi’s feet that she finally found refuge! It is amazing how these ladies of those times, right from their childhood, were so detached from the world even though they respected all the rites and rituals of a Hindu family. She had understood at the very first glimpse of the Mother during the darshan that She was Mother Aditi herself. The Mother had heard her call.

The same thing happened in the life of my Mejo-mashima [second maternal aunt]. In 1972 she came with the ‘Pathmandir’ group and went to the Mother’s room for Her darshan and blessing. Everyone slowly filed past the Mother in a line. When our mashima (Naresh-da’s mother) got up to leave after the Mother’s darshan, the Mother bent down slightly and held her hand and pressed it gently. It was quite an unexpected sight as the Mother had practically ceased all activity then. That is why this little gesture from the Mother was for her a sublime gift. How many times has she recounted with tearfilled, happy eyes this gesture of the Mother’s compassion!

I am always wonder-struck by the devotion, faith and love that these women had for the Mother although they had taken up the worldly life from their infancy itself. Their worship was not in vain as the Mother always remained very close to them in Her form of Ma Lakshmi. They always tried to incarnate Her in all their life’s activities by doing everything with beauty and grace.

Here is Sri Aurobindo’s description of this aspect of Mahalakshmi in his book The Mother:

Harmony and beauty of the mind and soul, harmony and beauty of the thoughts and feelings, harmony and beauty in every outward act and movement, harmony and beauty of the life and surroundings, this is the demand of Mahalakshmi.…

If she finds herself in men’s hearts surrounded with selfishness and hatred and jealousy and malignance and envy and strife, if treachery and greed and ingrati-tude are mixed in the sacred chalice, if grossness of passion and unrefined desire degrade devotion, in such hearts the gracious and beautiful Goddess will not linger.

Here the question of knowledge, wealth or riches does not arise at all. In Mahalakshmi’s vision even a very rich man might appear terribly destitute just as an extremely poor person might be in Mahalakshmi’s eyes very beautiful and rich provided inwardly he is generous and large-hearted.

Lakshmi-puja was celebrated with a lot of festivity in my mama’s [uncle’s] house (Pattagram Niyogi House). Each and every room of this huge house and the inner courtyard was decorated with such exquisite alpanas! Marvellous really! All of us, mashimas [aunts], mamimas[aunts] and we little ones participated in this. The ingredients were rice powder and sindoor. The little ones used to dot the flower-alpanas with red sindoor on directions from the elders. Sometimes we were fortunate enough to be allowed to draw the Feet of Ma Lakshmi. One year on such a Lakshmipuja day I was very excitedly making the Feet of Ma Lakshmi when suddenly mamima came rushing in:

“Pushpo, you can’t do this. You are in a period of impurity. Move away, move away.”

I fell from the sky. I was making Ma Lakshmi’s feet. How could impurity come into that?

Mamima continued:

“You are in a period of impurity. You cannot participate in any puja-work.”

Leaving the bowl of rice-paste I ran out.

What joy and what excitement! In front of the room reserved for ‘deliveries’ a big crowd had gathered. Rangadadababu, Dadababu [grandfathers], everyone had come to see our brother Manoj.

Let me return to the main story then.

In 1944 on the occasion of the first Lakshmi-puja, the Mother came down in the evening to bless us. Milli-di, Bibha, Minnie-di and Gauri had beautifully drawn Ma Lakshmi’s feet right from the bottom of the staircase up to the Mother’s chair. Then Milli-di lit some earthen lamps and covered these with a terracotta shade that had a hole in the middle. All the electric lights were switched off. In the soft muted light of the oil-lamps, the Meditation Hall had a marvellous, celestial glow. The Mother came down the staircase wearing a gorgeous, green Benarasi silk sari. Seeing the Mother in the midst of all those vines of Harmony my heart sang in delight!

The Mother had come down in Her aspect of Mahalakshmi. The Mother stepped on the alpana-drawn feet of Lakshmi and slowly came and sat in the chair. On seeing the Mother in this form, my mind flashed back to the time of my childhood when in radiant joy Ma Lakshmi’s feet were drawn out in alpana. It was beyond my wildest imagination then that one day I would have a vision of Ma Lakshmi Herself to my heart’s content!

Had I ever imagined that one day Mother Mahalakshmi Herself would step on the alpana-drawn feet of Ma Lakshmi? Sri Aurobindo has written:

Magnetic is the touch of her hands and their occult and delicate influence refines mind and life and body and where she presses her feet course miraculous streams of an entrancing Ananda.

The memory of that divine moment still makes my heart dance. That is why the first Lakshmi-puja of 1944 was so significant for me. After 1944 on every Lakshmi-puja the Mother would come down but Her walking over the alpana-drawn feet of Ma Lakshmi happened only the first time. The Mother revealed Herself in Her Mahalakshmi aspect: what an incredible event that was on this beautiful earth of ours! And we were its blessed witnesses!

The Mother in Her Mahakali Aspect

Mahakali is of another nature. Not wideness but height, not wisdom but force and strength are her peculiar power…for she is the Warrior of the Worlds who never shrinks from the battle.

It is Kali-puja celebration in the Ashram Meditation Hall. The Mother’s chair has been tastefully decorated with a red Benarasi silk sari. There are red hibiscus flowers everywhere for the red hibiscus is the flower of Mahakali. On Kali-puja this flower is offered at the Mother’s Feet. We had known this since our childhood but I did not know why. It is after coming here that I found out that the Mother said ‘Power’ was the spiritual significance of this flower. And what else can Mahakali as the incarnation of Power be offered! Isn’t it amazing! How the munis and rishis had attained this knowledge through their subtle vision so many aeons ago! For every god or goddess there is a different flower. Holy Basil leaves or tulsi are offered at every puja. The puja in fact starts with an offering of tulsi. And the Mother’s spiritual significance for tulsi is ‘Devotion’. Without devotion one cannot find god. Isn’t the phrase the ‘devotee’s god’ most apt? That is why you start the puja with an offering of tulsi. In this context I am reminded of a strange aspect of the Mother as recounted by Mona:

One day the Mother entered with a tray filled with Devotion leaves (Ocimum sanctum or tulsi in India) crying out as if in an auction:

“Who wants some devotion? Who wants some devotion? I give it to the one who asks for it. Who wants... Do you want?”

You want it? Do you care for all these things? Does it mean anything to you, or are these only words? Look! No effect. He is like a piece of stone. No reaction at all. What? Do you want some? No need? No?

Mona: But Mother, didn’t you feel it? Didn’t you hear what I want?

You cunning little one, there, take. Can’t you speak? What are you made of?

Mona: Don’t know, but it is your fault. My fault, but why?

Mona: Because you made me like this. You have made me, so you know.

But I have not forbidden you to ask me anything.

Mona: Yes, you did.

When?

Mona: You told me: when one keeps silent before you, then one receives better.

Ah! Really, you are…

Satisfied with the answer, the Mother turned all of a sudden and went into her room.

What a wonderful incident!

One day the Mother put a garland of tulsi leaves around

Champaklal-ji and told him:

“Tie yourself with devotion.”

A line from a song comes to me:

Bhakter kangaal ami chirakaal, bhakta amaar praaner praan.

(Devotees’ beggar have I been forever, for the devotee is the heart of my life.)

And so through this mysterious game the Mother made us conscious about the invaluable need for devotion.

Every year on Kali-puja day, the Mother used to come down to the Meditation Hall wearing a red Benarasi sari embroidered with flowers in zari (golden thread). She gave everyone flowers as blessings. Inside the small envelope there were dried petals of the pomegranate flower (Divine’s Love). The Mother used to shower this divine Love on us on this special day. On this special day the Mother used to bring down Mahakali. Mahakali was seated within the Mother. And unknowingly we would all feel a little of the different aspects of the Mother. When one is close to the fire, one cannot but be touched by its warmth.

The Mother kept the Rudra aspect of Mahakali always under control but in spite of that sometimes this terrible aspect of hers did come through.

I remember an incident.

One day a young man of about 23 was talking very excitedly. Soon the tenor of his conversation went beyond the acceptable. I was standing just behind him in the queue on the staircase and so could hear everything. All of a sudden the Mother’s voice rose as she sharply said:

“Stop! Stop! Otherwise you will provoke Mahakali, you will provoke Mahakali.”

The Mother was doing Her utmost to try and spare Her own child from the terrible wrath and fury of Mahakali. I stood on the staircase and went on praying to the Mother:

“Ma, Ma, please spare the boy from the awful wrath of

Mahakali. Please save him. Please calm Mahakali down.”

I peeped in and saw that the Mother was still straining very hard to control Mahakali’s unstoppable fury. A tremendous shiver ran down my whole body like lightning. It was only a few years earlier that I had asked the Mother: “Mother, are you Mahakali?”

And the Mother had just nodded in agreement. Today She herself was saying:

“Stop! Stop! Otherwise you will provoke Mahakali.”

That vast, fearful figure of the Mother, that tremendous brow of Hers emerged before my eyes. Finally the boy calmed down with the Mother’s Grace. He took the flower-blessings and came down. He probably did not realise the frightening catastrophe he had been spared thanks to the Mother’s Grace.

Another incident took place some time earlier. In those times all the sadhaks were having all kinds of experiences. By the Mother’s and Sri Aurobindo’s Grace each one would reach a very high level in his or her sadhana. One such sadhak was getting such significant experiences that he lost all control. He went up to the Mother and exclaimed:

“I am Sri Aurobindo.”

There was no escape. The Mother roared: “What? What did you say?”

Mahakali was awakened. The sadhak was so terrified seeing this frightful aspect of the Mother that he began desperately calling out to Sri Aurobindo:

“Sri Aurobindo, save me, save me.”

Sri Aurobindo came out of his room on hearing his voice. He came to the Mother and requested Her:

“Mother, forgive him this time.”

The Mother brought Mahakali back under control.

From time to time this ferocious aspect of the Mother would come through. She could not then tolerate even the smallest of mistakes. Sometimes She would erupt like a volcano with Her tremendous power, sharpness and divine fury. Her hand was ruthless over anything that was ignorant and unconscious. This incident also gives us an unmistakable glimpse of man’s treachery and propensity for malignity. Sri Aurobindo describes this aspect of Mahakali in The Mother:

Intolerant of imperfection, she deals roughly with all in man that is unwilling and she is severe to all that is obstinately ignorant and obscure; her wrath is immediate and dire against treachery and falsehood and malignity, ill-will is smitten at once by her scourge.

I remember seeing a very beautiful well-known painting by Pramode Kumar Chatterjee: Mahadeva lying at the feet of Mahakali in her fearful dance in order to destroy the whole creation with that terrifying dreadful aspect of hers. She will not tolerate falsehood or the slightest deviation from the divine work. Mahadeva sees the danger and lies down at Mahakali’s feet. And unknowingly her feet fall upon Mahadeva’s chest and she suddenly stops. She withdraws her power. The battleloving Mahakali calms down and the universe is saved.

This sadhak was saved only because Sri Aurobindo had Himself interceded on his behalf with the Mother. I still cannot forget that scene. Shiva, Mahadeva himself, taking Mahakali’s tremendous power upon him!

Once while taking the French class in the Playground, the

Mother spoke at length about the different forms of Kali.

The Mother had once gone for a drive by the sea near Ariancouppam. After travelling a little distance She asked that the car be stopped. But She did not get out of the car. Suddenly an awfully black, frightfully skinny figure with dishevelled hair came and stood near the Mother and began begging:

“Please help me. If I can get your force and help then a lot of people will come to me. Then my power will increase.”

The figure went on begging in this way. So then the

Mother replied:

“You don’t need any more force or people. Be happy with whatever you have got.”

The car re-started and when the Mother reached the Kali temple in Virampattinam and entered She understood that the dark figure She had met was in fact the deity of this temple.

One day someone asked the Mother:

“What plane does this Kali belong to?” The Mother answered:

“The most material vital plane.” Then someone else asked:

“Why is she called Kali?” The Mother continued:

I don’t know. It is one of the Kalis—I have a vague impression that the head was cut off or that she was buried up to the neck or I don’t know what. Something like that. There is a story of a head which comes out of the sand, buried up to the neck… It is a form of Kali—there are countless forms of Kali. Each believer has his image, has his particular relation with a certain Kali. Sometimes it is their own Kali: there are family Kalis—lots of family Kalis. I knew families that had very dangerous Kalis. If what they wanted was not done, some misfortune always befell the family. There was a very strong formation. I suppose it was the family who were still more responsible than their Kali. And I knew people who when the misfortune came, a real misfortune in the family… someone’s death—took the image of Kali and went and threw it into the Ganges.

Then someone enquired:

“This Kali has no connection with Mahakali, has she?” The Mother’s answer:

No. She has a very close connection with the human mind. I believe these are almost exclusively constructions of the human mind… But I have found that there is really a Ganapati…something I didn’t believe. I used to think it was a purely human formation, that story of the elephant head—but there is a being like that. I saw it, it is quite alive, and not a formation. So too there is a black Kali with her garland of skulls and her huge hanging tongue. I have seen her. I saw her entering my room with her eyes wide open. So I am sure she exists. And it was not a human formation: it was a being—a real being. Now, it is possible that some of the details may have been added by human thought. But still the being was a real being, it was not purely a formation.

I suddenly remembered these lines from Sri Aurobindo’s Durga-stotra:

Mother Durga! Thou art Kali, naked, garlanded with human heads, sword in hand, thou slayest the Asura.

The next question put to the Mother was: “What does that black Kali do?”

The Mother replied:

Well, I believe she does fairly bad things! It is obvious that she takes a great pleasure in destruction.

And in this context the Mother spoke to us about one of Her own experiences. We all sat in the Playground in rapt attention listening to Her:

…It was at the time of the First World War, the early days of the First War. I was here. I was staying in the house on Dupleix Street, Dupleix House. From the terrace of the house Sri Aurobindo’s room could be seen, the one in the Guest House where Sri Aurobindo was staying. He had two rooms and the small terrace. And from the terrace of the Dupleix House the terrace of the Guest House could be seen (…) And I used to sit on the terrace to meditate every morning, facing Sri Aurobindo’s room. That day I was in my room, but looking at Sri Aurobindo’s room through a small window. I was in meditation but my eyes were open. I saw this Kali entering through my door. I asked her, “What do you want?” And she was dancing, a truly savage dance. She told me, “Paris is taken, Paris will be destroyed.” We used to have no news, it was just at the beginning of the war. I was in meditation. I turned towards her and told her, “No, Paris will not be taken, Paris will be saved”, quietly, just like this, but with a certain force. She made a face and went away. And the next day, we received the “dispatch”. In those days there were no radios yet, we had telegraph messages, “dispatches”, which were posted on the gate of Government House. We got the news that the Germans had been marching upon Paris, that Paris was not defended, the way was quite open, they had to advance only a few kilometres more and they would have entered the city. But when they saw that the road was clear, that there was nobody to oppose them, they felt convinced that it was an ambush, that a trap had been set for them. So they turned round and went back! (Laughter) And when the French armies saw that, naturally they gave chase and caught them, and there was a battle. It was the decisive battle: they were stopped. Well, evidently it was that. It took this form. When I said to Kali, “No”, they were panic stricken. They turned back. Otherwise if they had continued to advance it would have all been over.

The Mother as Mahashakti dominates all Her other aspects even though Her different individual forms work quite independently. But from time to time the Mother as Mahashakti does intervene to control them.

The Mother has observed:

To a certain extent (these four are independent) but not totally. It is always the same thing. There is an independence which at times seems to be total, and at the same time a very close link and even one which is, so to say, absolute. The central consciousness, that is to say, here in the material world, is the Mahashakti, you know. Well, she always has the poer to control the action of these different aspectsthough they are quite independent and act according to their own aspirations. And yet she can control them.

Take for example, the instance of Kali. If Kali decides that she is going to intervene and the Mahashakti, who has naturally a much more total and general vision of things, sees that the moment for intervention is not opportune or that it is too soon, well, she can very easily put a pressure upon Mahakali and tell her, “Keep quiet”. And the other is obliged to keep quiet; and yet she acts quite independently.

The next question was about Mahakali’s intervention, for by her action what would have taken centuries could take place now.

I say it is for this that Mahakali is there and does her work. But Mahakali has a particular way of seeing the work; and when one has the total vision, one can see that this, you know… She sees only her side of the work, and when one sees the whole, one may say, “Ah, no, this is not quite the time!”

Then a child asked: “What is Mahakali like?” And the Mother replied:

Well, my children, when you see her, you can tell me! She is not like that Kali. All I can tell you is that she is not black, she doesn’t stick out a big tongue, and she doesn’t wear a necklace of human heads!

Here I am reminded of an incident.

Almost daily at about midday, the Mother used to stand on the Meditation Hall staircase and throw toffees to everyone, especially to the children. And everyone would jump to catch them. There was such excitement in the air then! The Mother enjoyed this moment immensely. Amrita-da, trying to catch a toffee with both his hands stretched out wide, was a real spectacle! And the Mother would laugh along with us at Amrita-da’s style of catching the toffee. Amrita-da explained to the Mother:

“Mother, actually I am trying to catch the force that is present behind the toffee!”

And we would all burst into laughter once again!

One day in the midst of all this gaiety someone suddenly came running to the Mother and said:

“Mother, there’s a fire in the Ashram!”

Abruptly the Mother became most solemn. She asked: “How did it happen?”

In the meantime another person came to the Mother. He was holding two 5-year-old children:

“Mother, these are the culprits. There was a pile of old papers behind the Flower-room (Pujalal-ji’s room). These two set fire to the papers.”

Her aspect of fury slowly came over the Mother’s face. The two children began trembling like goats at a sacrificial altar. We really saw the Mother that day revealing Her fiery, furious, fearful aspect of Mahakali. The Mother had stared at them in such an unflinchingly piercing way that even we began trembling with dread. But because these were two little boys, they were spared. Then She climbed up the staircase with firm, strong steps, and every step felt that terrifying shiver while we just went on looking at Her in stunned silence.

The Mother in Her Mahasaraswati Aspect

Just as for Durga-puja, Lakshmi-puja and Kali-puja, the Meditation Hall was tastefully decorated for Saraswati-puja as well. The Mother would bring down the Mahasaraswati aspect on this day. We received a special flower-blessing then.

When the Mother came down, I was naturally overcome with memories of celebrations of Saraswati-puja in Feni when school-children and all the little ones from the locality participated with so much fanfare. There was a competition between the schools and colleges of every locality to see whose depiction of Ma Saraswati was the most beautiful. How lovely those depictions of Ma Saraswati used to be, really! It was as if this goddess robed in white had come and installed herself within us on this day. With all our devotion, faith and love we would make offerings at her feet. For this was the puja of the little children and the young. The boys would come together to make a little mountain of earth and sand. And a little stream would come cascading down it. On either side were placed beautiful flowers, birds and different types of creatures. The children would run to gather palash (‘Beginning of the Supramental Realisation’) flowers. We girls used to collect genda (‘plasticity’) flowers. Feni is full of flowers. There were endless rows of trees on the way to Birinchi bursting with palash. These flowers were placed all around the image of the goddess and on the mountain. This puja cannot be done without this offering of genda or palash. We would fill our hands with these flowers and offer them at the feet of the Mother. The priest went on reciting the verses in a solemn voice filled with devotion. We would repeat the verses after him trying to keep in tune and go on offering flowers to the deity. And in due time the Mother’s feet were covered with these flowers.

On this Saraswati-puja day, Parichand-da and Jatin-da used to get us huge quantities of these flowers. After coming here I found out that these flowers were meant for decorating the Mother’s chair and the space around it. The spiritual significance of the palash, the Mother has said, is ‘Beginning of the Supramental Realisation’. Without Ma Saraswati the work of the other goddesses would not be complete. Therefore for the full Supramental realisation this goddess too is needed. That is why Mother Nature beckons her with this offering of palash. And so from age to age by offering these two varieties of flowers at Ma Saraswati’s feet the youth are marching ahead on the path of Supramental realisation.

We girls used to wear a red-bordered light-orange sari and flit around like a swarm of butterflies. Wearing this sari on Saraswati-puja is a must. Books, notebooks, pens and inkpots were laid at the Mother’s feet. In everybody’s heart was the prayer: O Mother, grant us knowledge and intelligence. In the evening the boys performed an arati-dance in front of the Mother! They put so much heart and feeling into it as they lit the incense powder and worshipped the goddess that we felt Saraswati had really descended! Then plays and dance-dramas and song and music and recitation were organised in every locality.

I had never imagined that one day I would see this beloved goddess Saraswati in such a lovely form with my own eyes! My heart spilled over with delight. A long-cherished dream of childhood got fulfilled all at once!

Sri Aurobindo has written:

Mahasaraswati is the Mother’s Power of Work and her spirit of perfection and order.

We were always surprised by the Mother’s guidance in the field of work. She was at every moment showing us how to accomplish the smallest work with perfection.

The Mother always expected from us work that was flawless and perfect. She did not tolerate any defect or imperfection. Here I am reminded of an amusing incident. Our press had just started printing books then. A few copies of these newly printed books were first sent to the Mother. The Mother’s eye fell straight on the page where a word had been misspelt: in place of a ‘t’ there was an ‘f ’. Oh Lord, how upset She was! We had to open all the books and replace the ‘f ’ with a ‘t’. We sat quietly rubbing out the ‘t’s’ and writing ‘f ’s’ in their place. We did this with the utmost concentration. The Mother was naturally delighted with this response from us. It was quite astonishing that every time in proof-reading a book or any other publication, the mistake that had escaped our eyes would inevitably be picked up by the Mother!

All these departments that have come up in the Ashram have done so only because of Mother Mahasaraswati’s untiring, skilful, sleepless guidance and working.

Sri Aurobindo writes:

When she takes up the transformation and new-building of the nature, her action is laborious and minute and often seems to our impatience slow and interminable, but it is persistent, integral and flawless.

How the Mother would keep giving detailed instructions, hour after hour with such infinite patience, about the running of each department! Day after day, year after year, the Mother continued doing Her work in us in Her aspect of Mother Saraswati.

I had gone to see the Mother. Everyone was standing on the staircase, flowers in their hand. Nobody, however, seemed to be coming down after the pranam of the Mother. Slightly impatient, we peeped in to see that the Mother was speaking with a young boy. Unbelievable! We were taken aback. Sometimes She would stand in a corner of the Playground and explain something to a little girl. At other times, the Mother would be engaged in a conversation with someone in the Interview-Room while the ‘marching’ was going on. Until the Mother came out, Pranab could not stop the ‘marching’. The people had to go on marching. Then the Mother finally would come out of the Interview-Room, totally calm, relaxed, walking firmly and quietly. She did not lose any patience at all until She had finished Her work to perfection. How many things have we learnt from the Mother, really!

Bonjour! I greeted the Mother and entered the room. After taking the flower-blessings I was planning to go to work and so I was somewhat in a hurry.

The Mother greeted me and became absorbed in Her work. She had a lot of work! She was taking one rose after another and arranging them in different flower-trays. However, She was in no hurry at all. There were so many people waiting outside. I always managed to arrive just when it was time for the Mother to arrange flowers! So I kept watching the Mother and thinking: Why can’t She just ask me to help Her arrange them? And the work would be done in no time. But by Herself the Mother would take a long time. The Mother looked at me a little and then once again became absorbed in Her work. It was only much later that I understood that the Mother was at every moment showing us how to accomplish work to perfection. And time was invaluable in flawless work. Our aim is perfection, and so however long it might take, the Mother kept working relentlessly with every child of Hers and with every department of the Ashram. And She continues to do so even today. The Mother has given the name of Mahasaraswati’s Perfection to one of the flowers. It was our good fortune to have got a taste of this sleepless, untiring way of the Mother’s working. In Her eyes no work is too small or too big. Whatever the work, to do it as perfectly as possible is Mother Mahasaraswati’s principal goal. We can give innumerable instances of the Mother’s untiring, sleepless work in each one of us.

Sri Aurobindo has written:

…leaning over us she notes and touches every little detail, finds out every minute defect, gap, twist or incompleteness, considers and weighs accurately all that has been done and all that remains still to be done hereafter. Nothing is too small or apparently trivial for her attention...