Moments Eternal

The Playground

When you and I, we played together,

Who my playmate was I did not know.

Without a fear, without a shame,

Life in quiet ease did flow.

Gauri and I used to exercise with the Mother. On some days after coming back from the Tennis Ground, the Mother would take Gauri and me behind the stage. (In those days the cultural programme of 1st December took place in the Playground itself on a stage that was specially constructed for it.) And then the exercises would begin. We stood on either side of the Mother and stretched Her arms in a kind of drill. We would make Her do all sorts of exercises while doing them ourselves. You cannot imagine the enthusiasm we put into it. The Mother went on doing everything we told Her, like a little girl. One day something very amusing happened. The Mother called us and said:

“Today let us play a new game. My hands on your hands and your feet on my feet, we will move and dance together.”

And the Mother showed us how. I fell from the sky! How could I ever do this? How could I ever touch the Mother’s Feet with mine? And the more the Mother showed us, the more nervous I became and just stood there transfixed! Then the Mother called Gauri. And both of them began this new game together. I said to myself that if Gauri moved her leg too vigorously then the Mother would surely fall. I felt extremely nervous and told Gauri so as soon as the exercise ended:

“Let us bow down before the Mother. Whatever it be, you have touched the Mother with your feet.”

And we both prostrated ourselves before the Mother. The Mother was very pleased and caressed our heads affectionately as if She were caressing two puppies.

We used to play all kinds of games with the Mother in this way. One day the Mother was sitting on a bench. She asked both of us to come and sit on either side of Her. We rushed towards Her and sat down on the ground at Her Feet. To sit on the same level as the Mother! No, not in this life! She understood. After talking to us about different things the Mother got up and we both bowed down at Her Feet.

And so these exercises with the Mother continued for some time.

One day we collected some tennis-balls. There used to be a wall between the Playground and the Guest House then. A basket was put up on this wall and then the game began. Effortlessly the Mother kept shooting each and every ball into the basket. And we had to do the same! Nobody managed to shoot all the six balls into the basket. Minnie-di, Milli-di, Gauri, myself, Sutapa, Violette, we all kept practising every day. Violette could put in three or sometimes four balls. The Mother congratulated Violette. Sutapa managed to sometimes get one or two. But the Mother managed to put in all six each and every time. Her attitude and concentration were incredible. She stood immobile and totally one-pointed as She put one ball after another into the basket. I could not help thinking of Arjuna in the Mahabharata hitting the target.

*

We also did marching with the Mother in the Playground for some time: Minnie-di, Milli-di, Gauri, Violette, Vasudha, Kakima (Bina-di, Pranab’s Kakima) and I. We were the Mother’s

‘satkanya’ (the seven daughters). The Mother used to walk so fast that we could not keep pace with Her. What a funny sight that was! The Mother could not restrain a gentle smile as She hugely enjoyed beating us.

One day an American lady suddenly joined our marching group without asking the Mother for Her permission. On seeing her, the Mother whispered:

“Today I shall march even faster. Let me see if I can beat her!”

And She broke into quick long strides. All of us had to run to keep alongside Her. I looked back and saw the American lady trailing behind, hopelessly panting. She just could not keep up with the rest of the group. All of us had a good laugh that day seeing this mischievous aspect of the Mother.

After the marching the Mother would get into the small room and sit on a raised seat. We sat on the floor around Her. Gauri would then give the Mother something to eat. The Mother distributed some of it as prasad to us. That same American lady suddenly turned up in the room! She began talking to the Mother in French. The Mother glanced at us with a fleeting smile, mischief glinting in Her eyes once again, and started speaking to her so fast that this lady could not understand a thing. After some time she left the room. Then the Mother told us with a laugh:

“She doesn’t know much French actually. She was just trying to show off.”

We all laughed. Trying to show off before the Mother!

*

The marching went on for a few days. Then some new work came up before the Mother. Things happened successively after a few days’ interval. Now physical activities started in a regular way at the Playground in the evenings. There were also various cultural activities like dance and music in between. The Mother was present in all of these. We just followed Her everywhere. Then there was creative dance. After finishing Her game of tennis at the Tennis Ground She would come to the Playground and sit in a chair in a corner by the wall. The girls would one by one present the dance they had prepared before the Mother. Anju, Dalu, Jaya, Bela, Leena Dowsett and many other girls showed their dance one after another. Once even Udar presented a dance in front of the Mother! One day Leena Dowsett performed a snake-charmer’s dance. She began by playing the flute used to charm the snake. What a sight that was! The Mother watched everyone’s dance most attentively and seriously but sometimes we could not control our laughter. The whole atmosphere of the Playground was such in those times that everyone felt childhood had returned to their lives.

Let me tell you something about Priti. Our Priti danced in front of the Mother when she was a little girl. When she was hardly six or seven she put up a play with her friends and presented it to the Mother who watched it with great interest. Right from the beginning Priti had a most natural, spontaneous rapport with Her. Today that same Priti has become a well-known artist. All her paintings reflect a new idea and style. It was from Sri Aurobindo’s Savitri that she found the inspiration to paint.

*

The Mother inaugurated Malkhamb, Asana and weightlifting activities by cutting the ribbon. I still remember that day. I noticed Bhavatarini standing in the midst of all the boys. An iron rod was placed under her chin and effortlessly Bhavatarini managed to bend it with the strength of her neck. I saw that no boy was able to repeat this feat after her. It was amazing how effortlessly Bhavatarini accomplished this and then she put the rod back on the ground with the greatest humility. How old must she have been then? A mere girl! But so simple, natural and generous indeed! I at once remembered the character of Shanti from Anandamath. How effortlessly Shanti too had taken up the bow and the arrow. After stringing the bow she put it at the feet of Satyanand in all simplicity. Only four persons succeeded in stringing the bow and passing the test. It was not at all easy to string this bow. Satyanand was baffled, awe-struck, stunned. I had read this description of Shanti’s strength many years ago. Today Bhavatarini was standing before me as Shanti. Bravo, Tarini!

*

In 1949, the Mother did a sketch of all of us who had practised Marching with Her. She called one of us each day and within no time She would finish the pencil-sketch. We just stood and watched Her in speechless awe. Minnie-di, Milli-di, Gauri, Violette, Kakima, Vasudha and I were all sketched by the Mother in a minute! Had we not witnessed this we would never have believed that it was possible to sketch a face in such fine detail in such a short time. The Mother has done sketches of a number of sadhaks and sadhikas. All of them along with other paintings and drawings of the Mother were later published in a book.

*

One day the Mother was sitting in a chair, Her face turned towards the west. We were all seated near Her. All of a sudden She began looking at everyone’s hands. She read each hand and said different things. As soon as She saw mine She exclaimed:

“Not a working hand at all!”

And She dropped it. What could I do? I knew that I was not the working type. And all of you too would accept this as true. In the Ashram documentary all of you surely remember me typing on the monotype very slowly at an ant’s pace. In fact it was a dictionary that I was typing and so, you understand, I had to do it very attentively and slowly. Anyway... The Mother went on looking at me and smiling gently said:

“Sit and write poems, that’s all.”

And She stretched out Her right hand towards me, saying:

“Here, look, this is what is called a working hand!”

The Mother’s hand had an amazing form. Like a perfect rectangle! Her fingers were like the buds of the champa, incredibly lovely! I bent over to look at the Mother’s hand. She had one line on Her palm that went right from the wrist to the little finger. I had never seen such a line before. So I asked the Mother:

“What does this line signify, Mother?” She replied:

“Only those with occult power have this line.”

The Mother’s palm was so soft as if made of cotton. We all felt Her hand one after the other while She smiled.

After inaugurating the weight-lifting section, the Mother opened the asana-room. Ambu-bhai taught asanas. Malkhamb started after this. Vishnu-ji became the malkhamb-instructor. Tara and Parul learnt the malkhamb-exercises very quickly. At the Tennis Ground, Purani-ji taught wrestling. It was quite unbelievable how even at that late age, Purani-ji could wrestle with the young boys. Purani-ji was a very close friend of my father’s. He loved all of us brothers and sisters very deeply. On the day of the inauguration of the wrestling pit, the Mother came and sat at the entrance and the wrestling lessons started. With Purani-ji, girls too learnt to wrestle beautifully. Everyone was quite wonder-struck to see girls take up wrestling!

Then boxing started. There was no discrimination between boys and girls who picked up boxing skills wonderfully. They boxed fearlessly. Boys and girls wore the same kind of dress which was quite unthinkable in those times.

*

A French lady used to come to the Playground every evening. Her name was Doutsie. In the beginning she would conduct medical check-ups for us girls. Today where the Playground bathrooms and toilets are, there used to be a small single-storeyed house. It was here that the ‘E’ group medical check-up took place and Doutsie carried out all the tests.

You might be astonished to hear that the Mother would be present and She assisted Doutsie in this work. Isn’t it unbelievable!

So one day this lady proudly declared in the Playground: “I can run very fast. I’m sure nobody can beat me!” Pranab was standing next to the Mother. The Mother

whispered to him:

“Get some of your girls and prepare for a race.”

So Pranab at once called out some of the girls and told them:

“Get ready for a race with Doutsie.”

As far as my memory goes Sujata, Minou, Paru, and Tapati were selected. We were standing near the Mother and could see Her face light up with a smile full of mischief. And so the race started. Panting and puffing, poor Doutsie arrived behind everyone else. We just could not stop laughing. I turned to see the Mother: She too was laughing heartily.

Let me tell you of another amusing incident. An elderly

French gentleman told Pranab:

“You know I can box very well. I’d love to box with you.”

So Pranab and the gentleman got into the boxing ring and began their boxing match. The Mother sat in Her chair and watched the fight. We also followed it with great eagerness. There was much excitement among the young in the Playground. Everyone waited to see who would win. After some time the gentleman became so breathless that it was too painful to watch. Then he himself conceded:

“I am out of breeze!” (He was obviously translating literally the French ‘souffle’ with ‘breeze’ instead of ‘breath’.)

Pranab withdrew while all of us burst out laughing on hearing the gentleman’s English. The Mother, however, was quiet as She sat quite still.

*

On Darshan days, all sorts of programmes were put up. Two little girls, Selvi and Yamuna, would do a Bharatanatyam dance before the Mother. They danced beautifully.

On one such Darshan, a French lady named Monique came to show her dance. She had made a ring of flowers and in the course of her dance she brought this flowery ring right in front of the Mother’s face. What an incredible dance that was! We really had great trouble stifling our laughter as we sat near the Mother and watched. However, the Mother looked on with great seriousness. At the end of the dance she offered that ring of flowers at the Mother’s Feet.

*

One day a gentleman arrived at the Ashram and proudly declared:

“I can materialise all kinds of things from the invisible world.”

He said many other such things with great pride. After listening to him Pranab made all the arrangements in the Playground for him to show his skills. The Mother was present too. He began by saying all sorts of things and doing all kinds of movements. Then suddenly Pranab roared out and approaching the gentleman told him:

“I know this game of yours. You are not materialising anything from the invisible world, you are just making a fool of us all.”

The gentleman simply shied away, quite baffled. The Mother suddenly got up from Her chair, went through the Guest-house door and began walking out. I followed Her, close behind. Without looking to the left or right She continued walking straight ahead, all alone. She got into the Ashram through the main entrance and went straight to the first-floor. I still cannot forget that scene. What cheek we humans have, trying to cheat the Mother!

*

One day, Mota-kaka (Pranab’s uncle, Charuchandra Bhattacharya) and a European gentleman, both rather roly-poly and dressed up, turned up for a programme in the Playground before the Mother. After bowing to the Mother both of them started such a dance in the centre of the ground that the whole place began roaring with laughter.

The Mother also laughed so much that waves of ananda kept rippling all around. This was the first time that I had seen the Mother laugh after Sri Aurobindo’s departure. And in that moment the whole mood of sadness just dissolved into thin air.

*

How many different types of programmes were held in the Playground! The Mother would sit in Her chair and watch. One after another, the various items followed. The younger ones performed all kinds of shows. ‘Musical chairs’ for the children was the sweetest of them all. For the senior girls, one of their many items was walking with a pot on their heads. The pots kept falling and breaking. Lakshmi-bai was the only one who could reach the finishing line without dropping the pot. The Mother would watch all these games with such incredible interest!

*

The tug-of-war was the most exciting item of all. We enjoyed watching this and it was tremendous fun. Udar would call out to all the groups to get ready for this item. Once, towards the end of these games, Udar suddenly announced:

“Mother’s group versus ‘E’ group!” (‘E’ was the group for senior girls.)

All of us who stood near the Mother were taken aback. Gauri, Milli-di, Minnie-di, Violette, Vasudha and I had never taken part in any games. We looked at the Mother in utter helplessness. By calling out the Mother’s group, it was as if the Mother Herself was being challenged. Who was Udar challenging? He just did not think of this at that time. The Mother looked at us and said:

“Go ahead, all of you!”

Repeating the Mother’s name we moved forward. I felt so extremely embarrassed in the middle of the ground in front of all those people! We hadn’t the slightest idea how to pull the rope! Not even how to stand! On the other hand the ‘E’ group girls were greatly experienced! I kept calling out to the Mother. Then as soon as Udar signalled, we began pulling the rope. I don’t know what happened then, but all of a sudden, quite unexpectedly, the Mother’s group won! Her force worked on us quite miraculously that day. We returned to Her filled with gratitude. She showered Her praises on us, especially on Gauri and Violette.

*

Let me tell you about another amusing incident. As I said earlier, Pranab used to teach the captains after all the classes in the Playground were over. At that time the Mother would come and sit in the open ground. Many of us like Gauri, Debu, I and several others sat round the Mother. I remember, once it was very cold. I was freezing, sitting there. Gauri and I decided to put a cape over the Mother. She must surely be feeling cold. Immediately we two friends went and selected a cape for Her. Gauri used to look after the Mother’s capes in the Playground. Both of us put the cape over Her shoulders but with a single movement She removed it. However, we did not get disheartened. After some time, we once again put the cape over Her shoulders. Once again it was the same story. She flung the cape away. After two-three audacious attempts on our part, the Mother finally yielded. So then we came in front and buttoned up Her cape. Whenever the Mother was concentrated on something She would not tolerate any kind of disturbance. This incident was a clear proof of this.

Let me tell you something about the Mother’s capes. One day it suddenly occurred to me to get a cape made for the Mother. As soon as the idea came to me I told my uncle, Himangshukumar Neyogi, to get a cape made in Calcutta for Her. Then when the cape was ready both of us offered it to Her in Her room in the Playground. After this I offered Her many more capes, all of which were brought from Calcutta by my uncle. Now the Mother did not object anymore to wearing a cape. Both Gauri and I were delighted. I once offered the Mother a milk-white soft velvet cape. But I was not sure whether She would like it since it had a high neck. The Mother came and stood in front of the map of India. She was wearing that milk-white velvet cape. She said:

“This cape is very beautiful, soft like a cat’s fur.”

Unsure whether the Mother liked that style, I mumbled a little hesitantly:

“But the neck is high, Mother.”

“Oh, it’s lovely! And it’s very stylish!” the Mother answered.

And in this way the Mother started wearing capes. Gauri would put the cape over Her in Her room. Only then did She come out and stand in front of the map of India. Then the March Past would begin. How enchanting the Mother looked then!

*

Gauri and I were sitting near the Mother. The play had begun. The stage had been set up on the western side of the Playground.

A gentleman came and stood on the stage and started singing. He sang with such a shrill voice that Gauri and I had great difficulty suppressing our laughter. Then I looked all around and saw that everyone was laughing, although softly. It is hard to find a voice more out of tune than this! When he finished one song and started another both Gauri and I burst into laughter. It was impossible to pretend, or be polite any longer. However, when I looked up at the Mother I saw that She was listening to the song in silence. Good Lord, what infinite patience the Mother had!

The Mother’s Eyes

Let me do my work, my head bowed to Thee, Thy Eyes in my inmost eyes shall see.

The poet-sadhak’s heart’s yearning is reflected in this prayer. He is longing for a touch of the Divine eyes in his inmost heart. He never dreamed in his wildest dreams that the Mother would come down in a human body of flesh and bone on this very earth.

But then probably this is how we express ourselves. After getting this vision of the Mother we seem to boast:

…is there any who knows what honour lies

In meeting Her Eyes with our common eyes?

We have no idea how very blessed we are!

The Mother’s eyes changed constantly. I saw those long golden eyes for the first time when I went to Her for Pranam on the evening of my arrival. That was my life’s first blessing of the Mother. On seeing Her then I felt that She was Mother Durga herself. Those same golden eyes overflowing with love. This golden light used to radiate from Her eyes from time to time, from those iridescent golden eyes. Absolutely incredible!

We used to wait for hours in a hush just to get a touch of that Divine Sight!

The Second World War

During the Second World War the Mother helped countless people come out of their difficulties and sorrows in countless ways. As soon as the inner call came from any of them She would go at once towards them however busy She might have been. She would come back to Her body only after She had lifted them out of their trouble. She used to go into a trance. Hours went by but the Mother would keep standing immobile. Sometimes holding a glass because She wanted to drink but She never did. For the call had come.