A unique chronicle of sadhana through paintings, enriched by correspondence with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother on art and spiritual life.
The Mother : correspondence
THEME/S
We reproduce Krishnalal's correspondence with Mother and Sri Aurobindo.
10.8.1933:
Mother, I pray you will kindly grant me permission for the pranam and dhyana ceremony from tomorrow.
Sri Aurobindo: Yes. Mother has seen your paintings and is interested in them—but just now she has no time to write about them—she will say something afterwards.
*
18.8.1933:
Mother, Will you kindly give me the permission to see the Japanese prints which you gave to the library?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes. Mother has informed Nolini that they can be shown to you.
K: May I hope for your divine touch to my brushes which I send herewith?
Sri Aurobindo: The Mother has looked at them. She says they are just the same as those she brought back from Japan—of the finest quality. You can begin painting. The Mother expects that you will show her what you do.
K: I am sending a card done in coloured pencils which you will kindly accept.
Sri Aurobindo: The Mother is very much pleased with your card. She did not write about your paintings because she had no time. If you remain longer, the Mother will call you one day when the crowd is gone and go through them once with you.
26.8.1933:
Mother, Last evening I saw a lotus in vision. First I saw it as drawn in position (1), after a short time as in position (2). May I ask you about its significance?
Sri Aurobindo: The white lotus is the Divine Consciousness-Force; the red lotus is the Avatar, the Divine Descent upon earth. This seems to be a combination of the two. It looks as if the first position indicated the double Power above and ready to descend, the second the first outflowering below.
31.8.1933
Mother [on a chit]:. The falcon is the symbol of Perfect Vision.
3.9.1933
Mother [on a chit-card]: The symbol of the vision is not very clear. The flower resembles a little the Champa (psychological perfection) although the form is not the same. Five being a number of "power" it should symbolise a powerful movement of progress or of expression.
5-9-1933
Mother [on a white chit]: Krishnalal, I am sending you a reproduction of a Corean tiger.
6.9.1933:
Mother, I hope to get solutions from you of my doubts concerning art.
Generally I am accustomed to depend upon nature for my inspiration. How far should an artist depend upon nature? If the source of inspiration is within the artist himself does it require nature's help to reach it? Does taking inspiration from nature hinder to go within one's self for beauty and inspiration?
Sri Aurobindo: There is no incompatibility between the inspiration from within and the dependence on Nature. The essence of the inspiration always comes from within but the forms of expression are based on Nature though developed and modified by the selective or interpretative sight of the artist.
[A small but relevant exchange between Nirodbaran and Sri Aurobindo on 10 September. Nirod: May I go and see Krishnalal's paintings now and then? Sri Aurobindo: Not now and then—artists usually do not care to be disturbed. You have not seen them already? I don't think he is painting his pictures now.]
17.9.1933:
Mother, Today I send you the drawing of the vision done in pastel colours. Its colours are to be fixed with the fixative which I have ordered from Madras and will receive within a day or two. So, will you kindly return it? I will send it back after fixing it. I saw this vision twice, once, day before yesterday and again yesterday during the Pranam meditation. Kindly let me know its significance.
Mother: The vision is beautiful. Here is its meaning: The flame of purifying aspiration burning on the rough sea of vital passions and desires.P.S. For more safety I shall give you the picture back to-morrow morning at pranam.
18-9-1933:
Mother, yesterday between 10 and 11 a.m. I saw this vision. A road going high up on the side of a mountain. At the top there was something like a stormy cloud.
Sri Aurobindo: It is the inner ascent with occasional storm-clouds coming down across the road.
20-9-1933:
Mother, I am sending "Mother's portrait" done in pastels. I began it 15 days back and finished it 7 days ago. I kept it with me since then with the idea of fixing it, which proved to be useless. May I ask for your opinion, suggestions and criticism over it? If you find necessary to correct it you will be kind enough to do so. I have done it from memory. Do you think this portrait is successful a little? Do you know any good fixative for pastels used in Paris?
It will be better on my part to write that the depression, about which I wrote yesterday, was not there during or after finishing it for four days.
Sri Aurobindo: The portrait does not seem to us to be successful. In the externals the long projection of the nose over the lips and the eyes close together modify the type of the face and give it another character. It is not a question of resemblance or external appearance, but the basis of character is affected. This however would not be so much of an objection—but for the inner expression as it comes out through the mouth and eyes. There is something introduced here from a vital world—undivine—which is not part of the Mother's vital. It has come in through that Influence of which the Mother spoke—it throws its own shadow and so changes the inner vision of the thing to be done, the face to be portrayed. There is no such element in your paintings of Nature which catch very finely the inner truth of what you paint.
It was not with this portrait that we connected what I wrote about the wrong Influence that brought the obstruction and depression. —Sri Aurobindo 21.9.1933.
25-9-1933:
Mother, I send three of my visions. Two of them (of Krishna) were seen day before yesterday in the evening. No. 1 was seen first and just afterwards the same kind of figure of Krishna as in No. 2. No. 3 is the vision which I saw at my place [Ahmedabad] in last July. Sri Aurobindo's feet with a rose on the left foot. I do it after a long time and so I do not remember the then seen form of the feet. General colouring and the arrangement I think I have been able to reproduce. Will you kindly let me know your suggestions?
Sri Aurobindo: The appearance of these visions seems to be that of mental images—they have not the vividness and force of those that are parts of an experience.
28-9-1933:
Mother, Can I go to station to-morrow night, as Chandulal is going?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes.
1-10-1933:
Mother, I will require some stamps. I have to write to my brother for some family matters and for some of my things which I have left there. I want to write to my friends also about selling some of my pictures. You will kindly permit me for that.
Mother: Ask Amrita for the stamps.
K: Can I take my dinner in the dining hall? [The D.R. was then in the Ashram main building.]
Mother: Yes.
undated:
Mother, I send these photographs for the favour of signatures. What should I do for their framing?
Sri Aurobindo: You should ask Purani to make the frames.
Mother, Can I go to station to-night to see Natwar off?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes, but there is no car.
K: Will you kindly allow me to have some pegs for the photos and picture-frames in the room upstairs? Also permit me for two wires to be tied in the common passage between two rooms.
3-10-1933
Mother [on a white chit]: Krishnalal I find that Champaklal is progressing very much since you are teaching him. He would like to have a lesson every day. Can you do it?
3.10.1933:
Mother, Last night I felt sleepy earlier than usual. But when I went to bed the whole body began to suffer from acute pain. Each and every joint and muscle pained as if it was being hammered from inside. This lasted nearly for three hours. Then I slept.
Sri Aurobindo: Would you like to ask Doctor (Banerji) about these pains?
7.10.1933:
Mother, To-day I send the picture of the vision, which I saw before three months on the day of my birth-date. I did its drawing on the second day. I have changed the form of the lotus. In the vision it was decorative and had about eight petals. The background was not very clear to me and so I have left it unfinished. In the upper part of the background there was something like the folds of a red sari. I have tried to bring out the colouring seen in the vision. May I hope for its explanation?
Sri Aurobindo: The lotus must represent owing to its numerous petals the "thousand petalled" lotus above the head which is the seat of the higher consciousness above the thinking intelligence. The vision may mean the opening of the consciousness there and in it the adoration of the Divine.
12-10-1933:
Mother, I send two pictures seen in the visions yesterday. No. (1) I saw while I was in meditation during Pranam time, something like a figure of shining gold against the grey background.
No. (2), I saw in the afternoon while walking in my room concentrating for a picture. My eyes were open at the time, yet I saw it in the colours and the form. Can it be called a vision?
K: Will you kindly let me know what they mean?
Sri Aurobindo: No. 1 is the way crossing the vital, the golden figure is a divine being or some consciousness entering the vital, the line across is the protection put along this way. No. 2 is a symbol of the divine creation (white house on golden hill) on the physical (red).
17.10.1933:
Mother, I send you two pictures, a landscape and a vision. The vision I saw yesterday in the morning. A male figure is standing in a chariot drawn by some horses.
Sri Aurobindo: Possibly the Sun God.
Mother, since some days I feel as if somebody speaking at the time of going to bed. The words or sentences heard are irrelevant and not clear, but as if they are trying to disturb me. Has this any meaning? What can be its nature?
Sri Aurobindo: Never rely on these voices—not only so but never listen to them, turn your attention elsewhere when you hear them and cut all connection. They are deceptive voices and are trying to disturb you.
29/10/1933:
Mother, Last night I saw in dream a volcano of grey colour bursting out with loud noise and fire. I told to some persons who were by my side, "Our country has volcanoes, we will have earthquakes and our buildings will fall down." What can be its significance?
Sri Aurobindo: It is difficult to say. It means a big turmoil somewhere—in the world, in the country or in something connected with one's own life.
K: To-day I was reading a Gujarati novel. In it an incident is described that a young lady, whose profession is to sing in the public, leaves that life and runs away, and gets refuge in a temple of Rama. The priest is a real devotee and treats the lady kindly. The lady with great reverence bows to the image of God Rama. While reading this I also felt the pious atmosphere and tears began to flow. I could not check them. Weeping began very freely, nearly for 45 minutes I wept. I felt perspiring and weak. As I could not check weeping I got out of the room and any way managed to forget all. What kind of movement can this be? Has it any connection with sadhana?
Sri Aurobindo: It was an answer of an inner movement to the suggestion of spiritual emotion, but the vital intensity was too uncontrolled, hence the excess of weeping and weakness.
4.11.1933:
Mother, Before some days I wrote a letter to Sjt. Nandalal Bose informing him about my stay here and asking him about a process for washing egg-tempera picture. The reply, which I received today, I send to you. (In it [my letter (inserted by Sri Aurobindo over K's "it")] he writes about love as the only thing for Art.) [The parentheses were inserted by Sri Aurobindo to connect his own answer] When I was at Santiniketan he talked about the same point to me. Is it quite correct or something supplementary is necessary with love?
Sri Aurobindo: It is a way of speaking, I suppose, in accordance with his own experience. It is the creative Force which he calls Love—others might call it by another name because they see it in another aspect.
K: I have mounted the cloth for the picture with the help of Champaklal. To-morrow may I begin a picture 'The Wave' with your divine blessings?
5/11/1933:
Mother, I saw this vision while meditating before beginning the picture on cloth. The earthen lamp is just like the one I saw before, the background is different. I am not able to bring out the soft bluish green in this coloured pencil drawing. Will you let me know what it signifies?
Sri Aurobindo: The bluish green would signify loving devotion, the lamp consecration—in the physical, (because the lamp is red).
12-11-1933:
Mother, In one of the window-screens of my room white ants have come out. May I inquire about what is to be done?
Mother: Inform Chandulal who will have them removed. P.S. were you informed that I shall see you on Wednesday (15th) after 11.30.A.M.
20-11-1933:
Mother, now I will not require the picture about which you sent word with Champaklal. I am writing for the colours, ordered from Madras through a friend of Purani, to finish the picture on cloth. Anyway I want to finish it before the 24th inst. Today I received from the store three Japanese sheets of wood. I am trying to do colouring on them. Are they specially meant for painting in water colours?
Mother: They use them like that in Japan, but I do not know if these are prepared.
K: It seems Anilkumar and Romen have stopped the classes. In case of Anilkumar I had not the least intention of offending him or stopping him from the class. Was I wrong in insisting on his bringing some work for execution in the class for he did not bring any since last four classes?
Mother: No, you were not wrong.
Mother, I have nearly finished the picture on cloth. Before I take it off the board I would like to show it to you and take your suggestions for the finishing touches. Will you oblige me by sparing a little of your time if possible?
Sri Aurobindo: Mother will find out a time for it.
28.11.1933:
Mother, since three days I cannot keep myself conscious of your atmosphere. At times there are gaps when some idea of ordinary occurrence continues in the mind. I can reject it after some effort. Like this it goes on, and so I am not able to sit at work steadily. When I try to read I feel sleepy.
Sri Aurobindo: It is a lapse into the ordinary consciousness. Remain very quiet and let the former condition come back.
K: Last night I felt sleepy a little earlier and so went to bed. I did not get sleep but was in such a condition that I felt that all my senses had stopped working. No thought was there in the brain nor was I conscious of my limbs. With great effort I was trying to remember you now and then. I do not know how long I remained in that condition, may be half an hour to one hour. Will you kindly explain me all about this?
Sri Aurobindo: The last experience was a passing into a state of trance.
6.12.1933:
Mother, Last night in dream I saw three pictures. One was that of a god whose ten to twelve heads were cut off by Chakra. The heads and the Chakra were seen in the picture as if just after the action of cutting. The figure was standing calmly. In dream some name of the god was suggested which I have forgotten.
Sri Aurobindo: It sounds more like an Asura killed by Vishnu than a god.
K: Another was a pair of two pictures of God Vishnu. Both were seen side by side. In the one Vishnu was lying in his abode heaven quite at ease. In his front two figures fully dressed as warriors of those times were sitting, and towards his legs Laxmi was sitting, though she was not seen there was her suggestion. The details were not clear but atmosphere was of rest in his own place.
In the other of the pair Vishnu was lying but uneasy. The suggestion of Laxmi was the same as in the former one. The figures of the warriors were not there but some other figures may be round about. The background was airy and of light yellowish green colour. Vishnu was telling to the persons present, "Finish up all the works soon, I may have to go, at any moment my devotees call me." Then all of a sudden he commanded Arjuna, "Finish the yagna before to-morrow, I will have to go."
Do these dreams signify anything?
Sri Aurobindo: Probably only dreams of the mental plane founded on old legends.
8.12.1933:
Mother, Will you kindly solve my following doubt pertaining to painting?
I send, herewith, a coloured print of a picture of mine which is titled, "Flames of Wrath", and some photographic prints of Sri Rabindranath Tagore's pictures for reference. Sri Nandalal Bose had suggested to me that in my picture "Flames of Wrath" the flame was not correctly drawn from the view point of art. According to him the drawing of flame did not convey its own meaning. For that he suggested to me to study the old—especially Tibetan—paintings.
The flame of anger which I have drawn is according to what I actually perceived at the time. In the picture the flame of anger is becoming intense and rising higher and at its highest bursts into darkness. This is how I perceived. Does this picture go out of the range of art because it is not according to tradition? Should an artist always depend on the traditional rules to make a picture a piece of art? Are these rules not the limitations for an artist?
The pictures of Sri R. N. Tagore do not follow the tradition, even then they are considered in art. How far they are justified?
On the other side there are pictures, technically perfect but very poor to express this inner theme. How much are they justified?
Sri Aurobindo: The Mother finds the pictures of Tagore hideous and monstrous; she would not dignify them with the name of art. But it is not because they depart from tradition. The Mother does not believe in tradition—she considers that Art should always develop new forms—but still these must be according to a truth of Beauty which is universal and eternal—something of the Divine. As for your picture she finds it expressive. She felt at once what it meant—so the criticism of Nandalal does not stand.
10.Dec.1933:
Mother, Since some days I do not feel to do any painting even though my general atmosphere seems to me better. I am not able to understand where lies the difficulty. Will you kindly throw light over this matter?
I have marked a change after coming here. In the beginning when I came here I used to go for walks and get inspired from nature. But now that is gradually diminished. What kind of change can this be?
Sri Aurobindo: It is a state of transition. You will get out of it as you progress.
[10.12.1933]:
Mother, I send you the picture about which I told you on the day of the interview.
I began it long ago but was doing it at intervals. I have tried to finish it. I would like to have your suggestions as to when it requires more finishing or if it is overworked, also general criticism over the picture.
Sri Aurobindo: The landscape is admirable, full of light and beauty (the figures not so successful). It is not overworked. Something more is needed for the finishing.
[Undated]:
Mother, May I suggest one idea for the framing of "The Wave"? Instead of one whole glass if three pieces in the same size are used then, I think there will not be much danger of breaking of the glass or of the frame becoming very heavy, for in this case we can use thinner glasses. Only difficulty is that there will be two vertical lines on the picture where the glasses meet. [Here K drew a sketch (1.5" x 3") showing the vertical joints.] Will this look good and is it practicable?
Mother: I had thought also of making the frame like a window through which the picture would be seen. But I have asked for the celluloid sheet we shall see first if is all right if not we shall try the other thing.
[N.B. In K's album this letter is placed just before that of 4.11.1933 where he asks permission to begin this painting. Did this discussion then precede completion? Or is it based on preliminary sketches?]
12-12-1933:
Mother, I received this telegram from Bachubhai, a friend of mine, who is the manager of a monthly magazine and under whom my younger brother Sudama works. Sudama is about 25 years old and is one of the two brothers who are earning.
Mother: The intention of such a telegram is obvious, for how can your friend expect that your going there can cure your brother....
14-12-1933:
Mother, To-day I received a letter from my father which I forward for your information. The envelope was addressed to Purani with a letter also to him.
My father has stopped the box with some of my things which my brother was to send.
In reply may I write to him of following substance? My stay here is for indefinite period. And for the family affairs they should manage considering me absent for a long time.
[On the 15th a cyclonic storm hit the town. Correspondence was stopped, some ashramites said, to give more time to Sri Aurobindo and Mother to control the forces behind the cyclone (as it was done for the cyclone that occurred three years previously) and save the town from severe damage. Some said the cyclone was the hostiles' reaction to the descent of 24th November. Then, as now, people crowded on the beach to 'enjoy' the mountainous waves and the wild sprays.]
19/12/1933:
Mother, To-day I received a letter from the friend who had wired. He writes of the following substance: "Sudama (my brother) suffers from fever since last Monday (11th). It is typhoid and is serious. The heavy weakness which follows after the crisis in this fever is now in the beginning, so we do not know what will be the condition in crisis. In this condition we have thought it fit to call you. He will be relieved by your presence from the burden which he has on his mind due to your absence and he will have much of mental rest. So without any considerations you should start."
I send this letter only for your information. As you wrote before I cannot cure him.
Will you kindly instruct me as to what kind of answer I should return?
Mother: You might answer to this effect that you do not think that you could be of any help by going there, and that you think that whatever help can be given, can better be done from here than from anywhere else.
2? 12.1933:
Mother, To-day I received letters from my wife and brother. I put before you the summary ...[rest of this side cut out; on the reverse is written] advice as to what I should reply.
Sri Aurobindo: These difficulties and the reproaches also are inevitable for a sadhak coming away from his family. If he wants to stay there he must be prepared to face them and live them down. Many have had to do that before you.
27.12.1933:
Mother, Since a week I am attacked by suggestions of illness. They come in different forms, which I reject as soon as I become aware of. Still I suffer from cold at times.
Yesterday I was attacked by a peculiar atmosphere. In the morning when I was taking bath suddenly I felt that the whole bathroom was filled with a kind of suffocating air. My head became heavy and dizzy. Then for the whole day I was as usual. But again at night before going to bed I felt dizziness. When I went to bed for sleep I tried to concentrate on Mother; I had some visions coming from above, from which only one, of "White Ganesh", I remember. But soon after this that peculiar atmosphere surrounded me as if trying to suffocate me. My whole body began to ache. For nearly more than an hour I suffered in body and mind both as if crushed down. At times calling for your help and trying to reject the atmosphere I passed the period after which I slept. I am not able to understand what kind of atmosphere or hostile force was that. Will you oblige me by explaining about all this and what kind of attitude I should keep now?
Sri Aurobindo: The main thing is to remain very quiet, know what it is and repel it refusing to be either alarmed or affected.
K: To-day I have received more information of my brother's sickness in a letter from my place. I put some contents from it for your information.
On last Friday my brother's condition was very serious. He could not pass urine. Three doctors were called. My brother wanted again to wire for me and was eager to see me by his side. He and another younger brother are angry with me because when there is serious sickness in the house and economic condition is bad I am trying to search God. My mother is calm in all this. My wife is daily weeping and the child does not get the proper nourishment and so it is to be nourished on milk from outside. In this condition they want me to return and manage everything there and then to come back here.
Can this condition at my place be responsible for my above-said atmosphere? Has it any connection in that way?
Sri Aurobindo: I think it is mostly that that brought the attack.
28-12-1933:
Mother, Can this sickness of my brother have any relation with my stay here for Sadhana?
Sri Aurobindo: No relation.
K: Are the hostile forces trying to bring the attack on me in that way or does it come to strengthen my sadhana?
Sri Aurobindo: Whatever happened like that is to be used as an occasion for affirming the strength of the sadhana.
K: Is it possible that if anyone tries to hinder in other's sadhana one may be attacked by hostile forces?
Sri Aurobindo: It is possible. A hostile vibration can always put one in relation with disastrous forces of a similar kind and their dangerous vibrations.
30-12-1933:
Mother, To-day in the early morning I awoke with the memory of this landscape. I was not fully out of the sleep when I saw it but I remembered it clearly.
Can it have any meaning?
Sri Aurobindo: Pine trees usually indicate a pure aspiration.
Mother, Nolini told me that the glass and the frame for the picture have arrived, and that you want the picture to be framed on the 2nd Jan.
If you have no objection I and Purani may take out the picture in the morning, frame it during the day time and leave it upstairs in the evening to-morrow. We think a day is sufficient for that work.
Mother: Yes, but I have nobody to hang up the picture once framed, as the work is a little difficult (it must be hung from the ceiling) and I would like to have the picture there for the midnight blessings.
[1933]:
Mother, Since some days a strange feeling overcomes me. I remain in a suffocating atmosphere and feel helpless—without your guidance and protection. It takes a long effort to come out from that atmosphere.
I seem dull in my general work and painting also. I am not much inclined to draw or read, so I lie down in the cot and pass the day. In the evening I go for a walk.
I received the fixative but found it not useful to fix pastel works. By its use the colours become darker and dull. And so I return the picture of the vision semi-fixed.
To-day I send you a simple colour-combination that I saw yesterday. Sometimes I close my eyes and see many different kinds of colour combinations having many different shades. These have no regular forms. This, which I send has some shape in it and the colours are quite simple, so I put it on paper.
Have these abstract colour-combinations any meaning?
Sri Aurobindo: It is movements of forces that you see. Each colour represents some kind of force. As for the suffocating atmosphere, it is a wrong Influence that has come in and is obstructing the consciousness and preventing the contact with the Mother. You have to reject it and wipe it out from your atmosphere. The Mother had told you once that in your human figures you did not seem to be in contact with the right Influence and you had said that you felt the contact with an eternal Beauty in Nature but had not the same contact with regard to the human figure. It will be better then, now that you are practising the Yoga and to be in contact with right Influences only is very important, to avoid dealing with the human face and figure at present. In Yoga what may seem to the mind a detail may yet open the door to things that have strong effects on the consciousness, disturb its harmony or interfere with the sources of inspiration, vision and experience.
Mother, I do not do any drawing or painting taking inspiration from nature because I am not inclined to it now-a-days. Instead of that I feel a kind of movement going on in my inner being; though it is not clear to me yet I feel that something will take form sooner or later. I keep aspiration for the divine Truth to manifest through my art. When such movement is going on I see hazy forms in variety of colours coming down but it is disturbed by some mental movement. This is as I understand it.
I will be much obliged if you will throw some light in this matter. Am I on the right path and what should I do to avoid mental disturbance?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes—you are on the right path.
K: Is it possible that I may become lazy by waiting for the inspiration from within and not doing any work till then?
Sri Aurobindo: No.
K: In that case is it necessary for myself to do some practice work to keep in touch with drawing?
Sri Aurobindo: Of course you can do one little study work every day. Mother is constantly putting you in relation with a world of true harmony and it is that that you feel trying to come down—but you must keep your mind very quiet to receive it.
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