A unique chronicle of sadhana through paintings, enriched by correspondence with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother on art and spiritual life.
The Mother : correspondence
THEME/S
4/1/1934:
Mother, A few days back I was reading the criticism on the art of Muzumdar. In it there is the description of Sri Chaitanya and Sri Krishna in relation to his pictures.
While reading the description I had the feeling horripilation many times; at times it passed from the head to feet and again back. In what being was this opening and receptivity? And can it be helpful to read such writing often?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes, it is good.
K: On the same evening I went out for a walk when I was in continuation of the same mood, and all of a sudden I felt the presence of Sri Aurobindo around me. Nearly for 45 minutes I remained in that experience. But as it was time for dinner and your darshana I returned to Ashram and the mood, gradually, passed away.
Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by your love and am filled with delight. At such times should I sit quietly and receive and allow that consciousness to continue in spite of other works to be done during that time?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes, it is better to be quiet and let it continue.
*
Jan 1934:
Mother, I have heard Arjava is to shift from his present room. In that case, if you have no objection may I suggest that the room up-stairs will be more convenient to me and for my work also due to glass windows?
Sri Aurobindo: Mother had already decided to give you the corner room which is very suitable for your painting.
9-1-1934:
Mother, When an artist brings down one form from the world of harmony and expresses it through a material—stone or paper and colours—does that form become permanent for this physical world? If we say it is permanent what becomes of it when that material perishes?
Sri Aurobindo: In the material it lasts only as long as the expression—of course it may last in the subtle physical behind.
K: If this form of the higher world can be expressed in stone then is it not more convenient to express it through the physical body which is more conscious than the stone? If it is possible how can it be expressed?
Sri Aurobindo: Your question is not quite clear. How do you envisage the expression in a physical body?
10-1-1934:
Mother, I will try to put clearly yesterday's question. The physical body is more conscious than the stone. Then, to express the form from the higher world is it not convenient to use the physical body rather than the stone? Supposing an aspect of beauty is to be expressed, the sculptor will have to carve the stone and give a form which will show beauty. But the body being more plastic can he not show the same aspect perfectly by dancing?
If it is so why to go to other materials for expression?
Sri Aurobindo: But dancing is a movement—not a form. The body can express a rhythm brought down, but how are you going to make it express a new form?
12-1-1934:
Mother, To-day at about 11 a.m. I had the experience of going into trance (I think because it was very similar to the one which I had some days back). In it I saw your different aspects, but as they were not clear I could not distinguish between them. The experience lasted nearly for one hour and a half. The main thing that I felt throughout was silence within and around me. This silence then continued for the whole day. The outside noise was there but I felt I was protected from it by the layer of silence around me. Afterwards I had a little heaviness on the head, sneezing and effect of cold for about an hour in the afternoon.
Will you kindly explain me what is the true nature and significance of the experience and what is the relation of cold etc?
Sri Aurobindo: The experience of the silence was certainly the descent of the fundamental silence which prepares the transformation of the consciousness—it is the beginning of the spiritual peace. You saw the aspects of the Mother probably because they were present in the work that was being done. As for the cold it may have been due to some resistance in the body (head) or else to the body during the trance having been too much open to the atmosphere and as there is still something of the wave of cold and headache in the atmosphere and it got touched for a moment.
13-1-1934:
Mother, this landscape I did when I was yet in the influence of the experience—yesterday. Does it convey any mood?
Sri Aurobindo: It suggests solitude in a wide silence.
Mother, The human figures that I draw are not expressive, on the contrary they open the way for evil influence. It is like that from the very beginning.
What can be the origin of it? And generally what kind of influence it brings? What may be the reason that that influence is avoided in my landscape painting?
Sri Aurobindo: Your relation with Nature has been much more psychic than your relation with human beings. You must have met the latter mainly in the vital plane and not come in close contact with the eternal Beauty behind. In Nature you have felt the touch of the eternal and infinite and entered therefore into a true relation with her. The influence that comes in the human figure is a force of disharmony and ugliness—a manifestation of ignorance in form.
15/1/1934:
Mother, I see such mountain peaks very often now-a-days. They are seen in different colours—in reds, yellows, blues, etc. This is one of these seen with white temples or buildings on its summit.
What kind of movement this can show?
Sri Aurobindo: Aspiration and will to reach the highest heights.
Mother, To-day Purani gave me the information from a letter to him that the [my] child died on last Saturday.
And the second item is that my brother who recovered from typhoid fever, though very weak, is a little angry with me and so he would not like to write to me or speak with me because I did not go there in his sickness in spite of his sympathetic attitude towards me.
What should be my attitude as a sadhak in both matters?
Sri Aurobindo: The right attitude is perfect equanimity and faith that the Divine's Will is always for the best.
K: When I knew this news I thought it good to remain quiet. So I went to my room and began to aspire for the peace. After some struggle mind was thrown in the background, and I felt my head very light and cool. I felt also Mother's presence and her aspect in vision—there were different lights and visions too.
In between I had lapses when some hostile atmosphere was trying to attack me especially a black shadow was covering the right side of my body. By asking for Mother's help I was protected from all that. One hour passed like that, still I tried to separate myself and go deep. And quite a new experience, for me, began. My physical body seemed to be sinking somewhere and becoming smaller and smaller and some body like vibration separated and as if was revolving just over the physical body. I felt a great pressure of that vibration as if it will break me down. At that time I remembered that I had such experiences before when I used to suffer from fever. The vibration-like body seemed big like an elephant in proportion to [my] physical body which was like an ant.
Sri Aurobindo: The experience must have been that of your vital being coming out of the body and standing above it.
K: When this was going on in full force I had to get up to open the door of the room which was being knocked at. Then again I sat for some time and had to allow my self to come in the ordinary condition. There was in the evening, headache, heaviness of the head and nervousness in the body. Was it due to untimely disturbance or due to pressure?
Will you kindly explain me about the whole movement and give me guiding instructions?
Sri Aurobindo: It was due to untimely disturbance, not to pressure. It would have been better not to get up and open.
16-1-1934:
Yesterday night when I went to bed I thought it better to aspire for peace to calm down the nervousness before sleep; while doing so the same experience of the vital being separating was revived. This time there was no pressure and fast beating of the heart as in the afternoon. But the suggestions from the adverse forces were more and powerful. The suggestions of madness, illness and especially of fever attacked me often. I rejected them and had a good sleep.
Today in the morning during meditation time I had the pressure on the left side of the chest. Also it became very hot.
I feel a sensation of fever trying to approach my body. Why and what are all these effects?
How are they to be faced?
Sri Aurobindo: Face them with a complete rejection—and calm and quietness and faith in the protection.
16/1/1934:
Mother, I send a vision of a ship which I saw during my experience yesterday afternoon. I am not able to understand the round shapes in the foreground. May I hope for the symbolism of the vision?
Sri Aurobindo: It is the ship of the sadhana forcing its way through the difficulties (mountainous waves indicated by the round shapes).
Mother, Yesterday in the evening I saw a vision as drawn above. Four golden figures standing on four sides of a circle of golden light. Kindly explain me its significance.
Sri Aurobindo: It is probably the wheel of the universal manifestation, but in the Truth (golden light)—four is the sign of completeness. [This letter is reproduced in facsimile on the opposite page.]
18/1/1934:
Mother, Today during meditation I felt something trying to descend on the head but there it was, as if obstructed and could not come down. Since then there is headache and a feeling that there is a horizontal layer in the head barring the way of the descending movement.
Sri Aurobindo: There is often a bar like that—very usually composed of habitual thoughts and ideas.
K: Today I have received from a friend of mine, who is an editor of a magazine, two stories to be illustrated. What should I do?
Sri Aurobindo: You can do it.
Mother, This vision (of a mountain) I saw yesterday in meditation during pranam time.
Sri Aurobindo: It is a beautiful vision and has the same meaning of the ascending aspiration to the Light.
K: I require six picture-frames with cloth-tapes pasted on four borders—not wooden frames. Can I ask Biren for these with your kind permission?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes.
20/1/1934:
Mother, Yester-night while I was asleep I felt some strange thing thrown towards me. It fell by my side. At once I got out of the sleep and I had the impression that to create fear in me it happened. What can it be due to?
Sri Aurobindo: It may be. You might ask Rishabchand whether you can move upstairs.
K: Since three days automatically some thoughts are going on in the mind. So I am not able to concentrate well on one thing. I cannot do meditation easily. I try to reject these thoughts and meditate but then headache begins. What is this and what should I do in this matter? Should I not try to meditate?
Sri Aurobindo: Do not force yourself. Mother would like to see your illustrations when you do them. Mother thought you might like to keep the picture of your vision, so she is sending it back to you.
Mother, I saw one Japanese picture in vision which I have tried to reproduce here. I am not able to bring out the same minute details but the colouring and the general compositions are more faithful to the vision-picture.
Kindly let me know, what does it indicate?
Sri Aurobindo: It is a vision of some scene in the vital world which translated in your consciousness as a Japanese picture. Such scenes are renderings of some vital world experience—the water symbolises the movement of forces and the swiftness of the movement up the stream is a sign of the advance in the vital progress. These scenes are sometimes dark, sometimes luminous, or the water itself luminous or mixing with the sky.
23-1-1934:
Mother, Today I have occupied the new room. [The South-East facing room at No.11, Rue St. Louis on the first floor. This is where he stayed till the end]. May I request you for a painting done by you to keep it with me?
Sri Aurobindo: But Mother has no time to do any painting as she is occupied all day and most of the night!
24-1-1934:
Mother, after a long time I am doing human figures with your permission. Am I able to bring out the idea without any lower influence? Kindly let me know your suggestions and opinion.
Sri Aurobindo: The idea is brought out sufficiently—there is no lower influence, but the subject itself has not much refinement and does not give opportunity for a higher expression. There is some deficiency in the knowledge of the human body—more study from Nature would be needed.
25-1-1934:
Mother, Are there any more suggestions for study except that of human body? For the knowledge of human figures should I recommence sketching from nature?
Mother: It seems to me that a few sketches from nature would be useful especially from the point of view of the proportion of legs and arms and the harmony of form.
K: A handle for the main door of my room is necessary.
Mother: Ask it from Chandulal.
29-1-1934:
Mother, I send a rough drawing for the fresco-work. The drawing is to be symmetrical so one side is done which will be traced afterwards.
I will be obliged to have your suggestions about the drawing before I commence it on the plaster.
Sri Aurobindo: The Mother finds the drawing quite satisfactory—there is nothing to suggest.
(?.1.1934?):
Mother, As I find the electric light very dim for writing, reading or drawing purposes will you favour me and grant a table-lamp or convert the present one in such a way that it can be removed?
Mother: We have no table lamp in stock but as soon as they will be ready I shall send you one.
29/1/1934:
According to your order the wire given for the table-lamp is 12 feet long, but as it is a little short to reach the corner where I have kept my seat for drawing will you kindly sanction 5 feet more?
Sri Aurobindo: The 12 feet are the usual allowance and they were the end of a roll—if you want the 5 feet more, you will have to wait till a new stock comes.
[Undated]:
As the materials for painting are increasing it seems I will need a cupboard. May I ask from Mother for one of a fairly good size?
Sri Aurobindo: Ask Amrita.
Mother, I send some cuttings of pictures. Sometimes I see such pictures pasted on the envelopes, so thinking that some from these may come in use I send them to you.
Sri Aurobindo: They are very beautiful and will be very useful.
1-2-1934:
Mother, I have completed the fresco the rough sketch of which I sent you two days back. It is on a piece of everite which will be fixed on the wall of Tresor House. Can you arrange the time and place to see it and oblige?
I want to know and try the picture-mounting style which is done in Japan for picture-rolls. If you can give me any instructions I will be very glad to receive them. And if you have any such rolls of Japanese pictures I would like to see them.
Sri Aurobindo: Mother has plenty. She will look and one day when she gets time, she will call you, and show you the rolls and see the everite fresco.
K: The used safety-razor blades are very useful for cutting the borders of the pictures and such other fine works. But without any handle it is inconvenient to use them. As I learnt from Pavitra that the handle can be made can I ask him to make one?
5-2-1934:
Mother, Was there any psychological cause on the part of my being in the incident of the fresco yesterday? When the fresco gave way I was a little nervous only because the incident occurred in an awkward position; except that I had no depressing or any other feeling.
Sri Aurobindo: No psychological reason. You put thick lime without mortar, says Chandulal—that can't stick even on a wall—and as it was thick, it dropped off at once.
K: I had in mind the idea of doing a fresco in the interior—about which you suggested to me yesterday. It will be done on the wall in the style of egg-tempera, which I hope to begin after February.
10/2/1934:
Mother, Today at the time of Pranam I felt that a kind of shock passed through Mother's body, when my head was under her hand and in her lap. When I raised my head I received a sweet smile from Mother.
May I know whether it was connected with any movement of my being?
Sri Aurobindo: It is always a force like lightning that passes when the one who is making pranam is very receptive.
K: Before some time I had a desire to draw Mirabai's picture. Very recently I had the consciousness of Mirabai in which I felt the love, devotion and the union with Krishna trying to present before me. Since then I keep up the aspiration so that that consciousness may take a definite form which I can put in the picture. I feel that some form will present itself. I try to keep the mind quiet; though I have headache sometime while concentrating for it.
23/2/1934:
Mother, I have inquired about the paper of sufficiently long size for the mounting of the picture; but it is not available here so should it be got from Madras?
1/March/1934:
Mother, Before I mount the big picture I want to try a small picture-mounting in the Japanese style; but before I begin it I would like to see one roll of Japanese picture in details, so if you have no objection may I ask for any one roll from your stock only for one day?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes, Mother is giving you one to see.
3/3/1934:
Mother, After the occasion of the 21st February, I used to see flowers and plants of various colours when I closed my eyes. This painting is one from the memory after those impressions.
What is the meaning of these plants?
Sri Aurobindo: These things are seen in the vital or physical vital and mean some movement of strength and energy, manifestation or blossoming in the vital.
8/3/1934:
Mother, I require two round sticks for a small picture mounted in Japanese style.
The size is as follows: length: 14 inches, diameter 1 inch. What can I do for that?
Mother: Ask them from Chandulal. I wanted to know that your picture was mounted in order to call you. Will it be ready for next Sunday?
12/March/1934:
Mother, I have brought some samples of silk for mounting which I send herewith. I could not find greenish grey. Here there are four green samples and other blues with violet tints. Mother may select from these for mounting.
I have brought two samples of gold borders if the main portion in the centre can be used for the top and the bottom. In these more width is not available here.
If gold border or cloth is not available can I use gold leaf?
Mother: The cloth which is on this page will surely look very nice—but the gold of the border is far too bright. Bright gold will not look nice at all. The Japanese always use very subdued gold as if tarnished by time. The gold leaf would have, I think, the same defect of being too bright.
13/3/1934:
Mother, A movement is continued in me since the 21st Feb. I was full of joy at that time because Mother's birthday was coming. Mother's idea made my consciousness rise high up.
Though lapses come at times in this movement but it is going on. There are different experiences which I write.
Sometimes ideas of sex or jealousy try to rise up but all of a sudden Mother's presence seems to descend and those ideas flow away.
Sometimes I begin to concentrate over the painting and Mother's presence is felt. The Mother's presence is felt so much that I feel myself and surrounding full with the presence.
At times I feel wave-like movements coming over and over especially in face and head; or some movement coming down from above and as if broadening the head and the face.
The whole movement is towards Mother. The ideas of the old relations come up only to be rejected and turn me more towards the Mother.
Sometimes in this movement I have a sensation just under the throat; also I feel not to eat during the movement.
What movement can this be? Has it any direct relation with art creations?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes. It is the result of the pressure put by the Mother to see and do things in the true light. What you feel coming down is the true consciousness with the presence and action of the Mother.
14/3/1934:
Mother, To-morrow I want to do mounting between 3 and 5 p.m. in Champaklal's room. He has consented to using his room for the purpose. Can I do it there?
K: I will require 2 brass nails of 1/2 inch length.
Sri Aurobindo: Yes. Get from B.D.
(15.3.1934?):
Mother, I did mounting of the picture with the help of Purani and Champaklal. Still, pasting of the sticks remains which I will finish to-morrow evening.
The mounting is not quite satisfactory. The cloth (silk) was too thin to be pasted evenly and so some air-bubbles have remained; also the brown-paper on the back and its joint are the cause of its uneven surface.
Mother, Today Amrita told me that as the canvas is not to be bought for the easy chairs—in which one is made for me—I am to be given from the store. The one which he showed me today was rather weak and a crack was there which was screwed down. He said that there are others in the store which are recently returned, can I select one from there?
Sri Aurobindo: Mother has told Amrita to put canvas on the new easy chair.
Mother, Today when I had gone for a walk with others at about 8 p.m., I saw a black being riding on an ox or something like that. First I could not see it clearly so I tried to mark it again and I saw in addition a golden halo behind its head.
Previous to this we had talks on the disposal of dead bodies in which I did not take much part because I was in meditative mood.
Kindly explain me about that movement.
Sri Aurobindo: It may be a representation of some power or messenger of Yama—suggested by the conversation about the dead bodies.
K: Mother, will you grant me a permission for a new book on art ("The Art of K. Muzumdar") to be issued from the library?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes. But take great care and do not lend them to anyone.
16/3/1934:
Mother, Yesterday I saw a design as shown on the side. The colours in it were in a jumble so I do not remember them. What does it signify?
Sri Aurobindo: The perfect creation of a new world. [Facsimile of this letter is reproduced on the opposite page.]
21/3/1934:
Mother, Sometimes, past relations and attachments rise up in me during the waking hours. Sometimes I feel that they are something from outside having no relation with my real self; or I go above in the consciousness and detach myself from them. What should be the right attitude in this movement?
Sri Aurobindo: To detach oneself, to feel that they have nothing to do with one's real self is the first necessary step. Afterwards they must be rejected altogether from the waking hours.
K: In the psychic movement when I felt the Mother's presence I had the experience that I lost the ordinary individuality and felt as the instrument of the Divine, receiving from the Divine and again manifesting for the Divine, completing the circle.
Sri Aurobindo: It is very good and quite the right experience.
22/3/1934:
Mother, At present I find it not difficult to deal with the vital movement in the waking hours. But I do not understand how to deal when it rises from the subconscious in the dreams. Especially since two days I have the dreams of sex impulse in which I remain quite unaware of their working. Formerly I used to be a little cautious.
Will you kindly guide me in this?
Sri Aurobindo: You can try the use of the will before sleeping. After a time it sometimes brings a special consciousness and inhibiting reaction against the subconscient movement in sleep.
K: When I am in meditation many times the descending movement begins. It continues smoothly sometimes but generally it is disturbed in its flow.
What can be the causes for the disturbance in its flow? And how it can remain undisturbed?
Sri Aurobindo: The cause is generally an activity of the mind or else a resistance somewhere in the physical. The way is to remain very quiet and try to be immobile within.
2/8/1934:
Mother, It seems my fly-tox pump is leaking from the joint. To whom should it be given for repair?
Mother: To Pavitra.
Mother, One of my teeth is decaying and small pieces come out while eating. A part of it has already become hollow. What shall I do?
Mother: Dayashankar will give you some medicine to put with a cotton swab in the hollow tooth. The cotton has to be renewed at least once a day.
3/8/1934:
Mother, I am sending a drawing of sea which I want to present to Sjt. Nandalal Bose if Mother permits. May I ask the Mother's opinion about the picture?
Sri Aurobindo: Your picture is exceedingly fine and you can certainly send it.
11/8/1934:
Mother, Before I give final touches to this picture I send it to you for suggestions wherever necessary. The composition, as it is done in a long panel, has become a little difficult for me to manage.
Especially, it seems to me that the foreground is not well managed in the whole composition, also it may not be distinct from the background. Are there any corrections to be made?
Sri Aurobindo: Mother was very pleased with it and finds the composition very good. She cannot think of any corrections to suggest.
22/8/1934:
Mother, I received a letter from my mother about ten days back. In it she writes affectionately to me to write letters to her and my father because I did not answer to my father's letter a long time back. She informs me of my father's health which is going worse and worse due to constant fever, dysentery, etc. They are very eager to see me once there, and she writes, "Once you come and from [rest of the letter is cut out along with the lower half of his own letter which continues] satisfaction from me. I do not understand how to answer them so as to satisfy them. May I hope some solution from Mother?
Sri Aurobindo: It is impossible to satisfy them unless you become like them or satisfy their desire. But what you can do is to wish their true good in your heart and write sincerely from the aspiration within you.
Mother, I require a magnifying glass. I gave a chit in the stores for it, but Purushottam said that there was no m[agnifying] glass in the stores. So may I ask for a kind permission from Mother for one magnifying glass to be bought from the market?
Mother: Yes.
27/8/1934:
Mother [on white chit paper]: Krishnalal, I would like a crown representing the waves at the surface of the sea with some fishes. Will you do the drawing of it? It is to go with a sari representing the bottom of the sea. The foam of the waves will be embroidered with silver and the fishes with gold.
Mother, Herewith I offer a book of designs for needle work by Sjt. Nandalal Bose. It was lying at my place with some other things of mine which I received a few days back from my brother.
Mother: It is very interesting and will be quite useful.
28/8/1934: [end]
to-morrow at 4 p.m. (about the hollow tooth) I hope Mother will give her kind permission for the treatment.
1-9-1934:
Mother, Herewith I send two rough sketches for the crown design which you suggested. They are done in two different styles. Mother may select one for the embroidery work and give me suggestions for corrections necessary for the work. The forms I will make more exact in the final drawings. The colours in the design are simply for making the drawing clear.
Sri Aurobindo: Mother has written her choice on the design she has chosen. Both are very good, but this one will perhaps be more suitable for the embroidery.
4/9/1934:
Mother, After the 15th Aug. the thoughts of going to my place pressed on me vigorously for some days. I rejected them constantly but still they come though very mildly.
Since a week I get dreams during my sleep in which I see myself amidst my family trying to help it in many different ways such as, in travelling, in requirements, in washing and such household works etc. During these dreams I am so much engrossed in them that I do not find any part of my being separate from them.
Why do they come so often? Can there be some opening on my part?
Sri Aurobindo: The dreams rise from the subconscient. Such dreams go on recurring even when there is nothing in the waking mind, until the old impressions fade out of the subconscient—but that often takes a long time.
K: Last night I had a dream when I saw my mother and sister working and I also began to work with them. Then I saw something eatable and began to eat. At that time I felt sleepy and my head heavy and so I woke up, and actually I found that the whole part from the head to the throat was under some influence and was felt under very hard pressure. I took some time to recover from that. What influence it can be and where from it might have come to me?
Sri Aurobindo: This and the thoughts are not from the subconscient. It is the influence of some strong thoughts or pressure from over there [family?] coming in the shape of a formation sometimes in dreams sometimes in waking.
Mother, I want to try some fresco paintings. I have learnt Italian-style fresco which is permanent even if exposed to the sun or rain.
For that I want to try in different varieties of colours. May I inquire about special powder colours for the fresco work, if they are available at Bombay?
I heard at Shantiniketan that in France powder colours are available. Will you let me know anything about such colours (to be used as water colours)?
Mother: I have never used powder colours myself, so I have nothing to say.
K: Will you permit me to do some painting on everite?
Mother: Yes, you may try and see what it gives. Ask some small bits from Chandulal, to begin with.
7-9-1934:
Mother, I send the crown design which is completed. Mother may give the better idea while giving it for embroidery as to how the eyes and other parts of the fish can be made clear in the work.
Mother: The design is very pretty indeed and will surely make a very successful crown.
K: Mother, I have the idea of doing a fresco in big size (about 6ft by 4 and half ft) on one of the exposed walls of the Ashram. I want to do it in the style in which I did in Arjava's house (on wet plaster). The two walls for this work that I can suggest are:
(1) A part of the wall of Anilbaran's room facing Champaklal's terrace, (2) wall of Pavitra's room facing the Mother's room.
May I put this idea for Mother's approval and ask for the selection of some exposed wall for the work?
The subject of the fresco is "Sea".
Mother: This idea of fresco seems to be a very good one and the wall of Anilbaran's room on Champaklal's terrace quite an ideal place. There is only one point: will the lime hold on that wall which is now painted. This is to be asked from Chandulal. It would be very nice to have a sea view there.
8/9/1934:
...In that case may I pray for the decision of Mother for the intended fresco?
Sri Aurobindo: Mother has asked Chandulal what he can suggest for the place. We begin the last wing of the Library House in February (from the New Prosperity to the main-building). Then if you give the size of the fresco, we will keep a place for your painting.
11/9/1934:
Mother, Yesterday Chandulal suggested the wall over the B.D. office for the fresco. I find the wall rather too exposed.
Sri Aurobindo: That is impossible.
K: I showed another wall to Chandulal in the Ladies' House. There is sufficient space between two windows in that house. Chandulal saw the wall and said that it could be worked over for the new plaster for fresco. May I know Mother's idea for these walls?
Sri Aurobindo: You might possibly do it there.
[The fresco was made between those windows on the south-facing wall of the Embroidery Department.]
14/9/1934:
Mother, Since some days my mind and particularly my vital remain in a quiet condition, this is what I think about the present condition. During this condition I am able to reject the ideas and impulses that rise up or come from outside and keep myself quiet. The same condition continues till going to sleep. But during the sleep I find that the attacks from the hostile vital beings are increasing and result into nightmares or passing of the sexual substance etc. Why there is more disturbance in dreams when the waking hours are more quiet? And is there any lapse in my attitude in this condition?
Sri Aurobindo: There is no lapse—but it often happens that when thrown out of the waking consciousness these things go down into the subconscient and for a time become active in dreams, but that does not last.
15/9/1934:
Mother, I have prepared the picture of the fresco which I send for Mother's approval.
Mother: It is quite good and surely will look very fine.
K: On the wall it will not have all the details and colours like this. I will have to do it in broad masses and more decoratively. From this drawing I will enlarge the outline to 6ft x 4-1/2ft which is the measurement on the wall.
25/9/1934:
Mother, I will begin fresco-work from to-morrow morning. The work will be divided into three parts. Everyday plastering one part and painting over it. So it will take three days to finish the work. [In the right margin K has sketched the three-tiered sea-scape.]
Vishnu will remain with me to help.
Sri Aurobindo: Very good.
29/9/1934:
Mother, The fresco-work is completed. The work is not quite to my satisfaction due to some reasons. The lime mortar was not of the proper consistency which was informed beforehand. The green colour (from B.D.) which, it was said, was meant for the lime has faded within two days. And also there might be my inefficiency of technique in this kind of work.
In spite of all this the fresco-painting looks good to me except for the fading green colour.
Sri Aurobindo: As soon as Mother can find time, she will go and see.
8/10/1934:
Mother, One of my younger brothers is editing an annual number of a hand-written magazine. He asks for a picture drawn by me. Can I send him the picture which I send herewith?
I saw Udayshankar who came before two days as guest of Dilip. I have the inclination towards dancing which I remember to have told to Mother twice during the interviews. And so I specially took interview from Udayshankar and asked him some instructions and movements [here Krishnalal's "for beginning" changed by Sri Aurobindo to "needed to learn"] dancing. He showed me some exercises for it which I have begun slowly.
May I know from Mother if it is desirable for me to continue its practice?
Sri Aurobindo: Dancing is a private thing—we can't deal with it as part of the Yoga. So it depends on your choice.
15/10/1934:
Mother, Before some days I was replied for a point on dancing that dancing was a private thing and could not be dealt with it as a part of the Yoga. May I know why it is considered a private thing? Can it not become a part of the Yoga just as poetry, singing and painting are accepted and treated?
Supposing one takes to it as part of the Sadhana can it be a hindrance in the sadhana? If it is a hindrance what kind of disturbance is it likely to bring?
Sri Aurobindo: If it is done in the right spirit, it can. But we answered like that because Udayshankar's coming brought only the vital side with it and dancing on the vital side is a personal affair and cannot be part of Yoga. It would only raise the vital turn in the consciousness.
16/10/1934:
Mother, I think I went to see Udayshankar to know from him only some technique of dancing. May I request Mother to let me know whether my inclination towards dancing is from vital side only?
Sri Aurobindo: Wait some months more. If the urge is still there it may be deeper than the vital.
25/10/1934:
Mother, Herewith I send a letter of my friend Jayantilal Parekh of Shantiniketan who came for a day in last June to see me. He is…at Madras and is eager to come to the Ashram. [rest is snipped off]
Sri Aurobindo: Is this the one who wrote to the Mother when he was here about your wife and family and the necessity of your going back?
25/10/1934: [end]
Tagore's party. I know him since his going to Shantiniketan and am having correspondence with him now and then.
Mother, I have lost my correspondence bag.
Sri Aurobindo: He can come and see you and the Ashram, but seeing Mother is not possible.
26/10/1934:
Mother [on white chit-paper]: Krishnalal, I am sending you your picture for framing. I could not mount it as a Japanese kakemono because there are too many insects here.
31/10/1934:
Mother, Herewith I offer two pictures which Mother will kindly accept.
Sri Aurobindo: They are very good.
K: I have the idea for starting a big picture (size 5 1/4 ft x 3 1/2 ft) on cloth. I have already mounted the cloth on the drawing-board. The idea is that the cows are returning in the late afternoon after grazing ["Go-dhuli"] towards the town. As the cows are fresh after grazing in the open the whole herd of them is moving with vigour leaving a golden cloud of dust behind them.
Sri Aurobindo: Yes, it may make an interesting picture.
[By the end of the next month this painting was hung in the Reception Room. See exchanges on 19 and 30 November below. It is still there.]
8/11/1934:
Mother, I send the outline drawing of the picture of the cows which I started. I had to take it off because it had begun sticking with the drawing-board due to the sticky substance used to fill up the joints and other spaces. And so there were many folds and creases. There is also a mark of the joint of two papers which I had to join for the background of the cloth. So it is now not possible to work over this cloth. I will have to mount another piece of cloth. For this one I had used one of my used chaddars.
For the new one I require a piece of washed cloth of the size of this picture which Mother will kindly grant for me.
The present drawing board is not good for the use of painting because the paper sticks to it and in a few days the joints begin to expand.
Mother will kindly see the outline drawing of the picture, and also see the back of the picture which has the mark of sticking.
Mother: I have seen the picture, the drawing is very nice. For the cloth you can ask from Datta. She has newpieces of dhoties which are already bleached and can be washed again. Any board will always have joints and the difficulty will be the same. In France they are never used, the cloth is fixed on a wooden frame leaving the painted part quite free. It seems to be the best method and the most practical too; these frames are generally done with deal-wood and the pictures remain attached to them. If you want you can ask one from Amrita.
9/11/1934:
Mother, Today Datta showed me her stock of pieces of washed dhotis. But there is no piece which can be used for painting. Some have patches, some are loose and small etc.
So I intend to use one of my washed chaddars.
Mother: Surely she did not show what I meant. I shall speak to her about it.
(Nov. 1934):
Mother, As I want to begin a big picture on cloth I require a piece of cloth (2 yds) of the kind of the sample enclosed herewith. I will require also, 4 ounces of arrowroot, 1 ounce of zinc powder (pure white).
Will you kindly favour me to make arrangement for these things?
Mother: For the cloth, you can see with Datta if she has this kind of cloth. The arrowroot you can ask from Satyen and the zinc powder from the B.D.
Mother, In the B.D. there is only zinc paint, prepared in oil, which is not useful for my purpose. I require zinc powder which, I think, I can get from the dispensary with your permission.
As Datta had handed over the cloth to Kanai Babu I took it from him.
Mother: You can ask the white zinc from the dispensary, but it is not quite certain that there will be enough to give you. In that case it will have to be bought at the Government Pharmacy.
19/11/1934:
Mother, The picture of the cows remains to be finished. But before that I would like to show it to Mother. Is it possible for Mother to arrange some time for it?
Mother: I will try to find a moment to-morrow at 12.
21-11-1934: [end]
accompanies herewith. Will you kindly give him [over this is pencilled, for the album, (Jayantilal Parekh)] the permission?
Undated
I have begun the classes for drawing. All are interested in them. I showed them how to put even washes with colour and also have shown them that their drawing is weak. They have shown their desire to do drawing from the beginning.
Now they want to show me their drawings whenever they do and want my suggestions and corrections.
Should I give them suggestions and corrections?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes—since they have gone to you they are progressing.
K: Today I send the drawing of the flower of Divine love. I have no appropriate red for it, so I could not bring out its brilliancy.
Sri Aurobindo: It is excellent.
K: Can I give my clothes to washerman for washing?
Mother: The appropriate red can be got here in a small box of colours worth 5 annas. You can ask Champaklal where it can be got.
30/11/1934:
Mother, The picture of the Cows ["Go-dhuli"] is fixed in the frame and is ready to be hung. May I request Mother to suggest the height at which the picture should be hung? May I suggest to Mother to see the wall and the picture to-morrow in the evening when Mother comes for the distribution?
Sri Aurobindo: The Mother will go and see at 5 tomorrow.
4/12/1934:
Mother, I had a talk with Sanjiban for a portfolio of the size of drawing papers. He told me that the cardboard of that size was available and the portfolio could be made. May I ask from Mother for the kind sanction for one portfolio?
Mother: Yes, you can have it done.
11/12/1934:
Mother, I have done a picture which is nearing completion.
I would like to show it to Mother and have suggestions wherever necessary, especially because there is the drawing of human figure. Can Mother find some time at Her convenience?
Mother: I shall see your picture with pleasure but I have absolutely no time free before the 18th, next Tuesday. If you do not mind waiting until then I shall see you that day.
19/12/1934:
Mother, May I know on what plane can be the origin of this picture?
Sri Aurobindo: It is from the mentalised vital.
K: What significance does it convey?
Sri Aurobindo: Dawn—bringing the sun out of the darkness.
K: Does the execution of the picture bring out the reality of the thing behind?
Sri Aurobindo: Yes, it is very well done.
I have tried to do a picture on a Japanese board by giving washes of colour. I find that the board does not take the colours evenly. I will experiment with other sheets in different styles.
I liked the boards, they are tempting to work on.
Sri Aurobindo: The picture is very good.
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