Sri Aurobindo to Dilip - Volume IV

Correspondence 1938

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August 21, 1938

Congratulations on the song and blessings for the offering.

You will have to endorse as indicated by the paper accompanying the cheque at the place where the pencil line is put on the back of the cheque and return, otherwise the Indo-Chine [bank] will jib.

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August 28, 1938

I have a gold watch – my father’s – keeps fine time and all that kind of thing. But if Mother wants to sell it off she can do so. It was a costly thing of yore – might fetch Rs. 150 or thereabouts. Will Mother keep for you or her to use it? It keeps good time. But, I repeat, if you want to sell it off I have no objection. I wish to offer it to you – that is all. Will you take it as a humble present of one who does not know what to offer you really. In addition I will offer at your feet and hers Rs. 3501 wrote about last week – my Gramophone royalty that is from 1^st July last year till 31^st December.

[?] Mother accepts the watch – she will keep it with her, she does not want to sell it.

Here is a little more present: a bank note of Rs. 10 which my cousin (my mother’s youngest sister’s son of eight) has unexpectedly sent. Note his childish handwriting. It is unaccountably touching this little boy suddenly sending pranami like this to Mother, what? There may be something in the fellow – J have asked Kalyan¹ to enquire.

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Must trouble you yet for the other letter from Hiren – the young novelist-friend of mine. You may remember him. He has had several dreams of you. His father was a play-wright sufficiently known – who died a fortnight or so ago. Hiren has been changing of late and had been pressing me to place his case before you. He has written me two more letters which if you care to read I may send you. The third I enclose. He wants to come to Ashram and take Yoga and stay at least two months to start with. If you like to see him, he may come first in November for darshan.

He was very vain formerly. But of late he has undoubtedly changed and has a distaste for ordinary life. He speaks very emotionally of you and says he has accepted you for his guru. He is sincere I think and fairly intelligent with a literary bent – writes good prose – his novel is not bad – J had corrected it two years back: commercially it has not been a failure. He is receptive I think – but I can’t know about these things. Should you care to I may write to him to come say for November darshan – but he would implore to be allowed to stay in the Ashram, judging from his letter. Qu’en dites-vous?

J am feeling better and better – more and more peace and I hope more and more vairagya too. Last night I sang much moved my last song of Krishna I had sent you a few days ago.

Tomorrow I will send you and Mother a song or two of Hashi (my gifted little pupil) and a recitation of mine on Himalayas, the poem you had liked so much. Will you be gracious enough to hear them. I will sing to Mother if possible? Please say amen if you are agreeable, what?

All right. As for the song it depends on whether it reaches my ear or... [incomplete]

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August 30, 1938

Charu told me last night that Prithwi Singh and Venkataram have been indulging in innuendoes to the effect that I had made a fool of him with regard to his wife Bina. I am a little pained that Prithwi Singh who calls himself my friend should discuss such unlovely and malicious scandals with Venkataram. You know very well that I have long given up all that kind of thing and that I have been tested enough in Calcutta last year as well as this year without succumbing (through your grace and Mother’s) – beautiful women kept besieging me almost all the time but I have never behaved flirtatiously with them with the result that all of them have a deep reverence for you whose strength and grace have enabled me to behave as I did. But I will try to pass it calmly by – yogically – thinking that since such allegations are not true what does it matter? Still I say this as I thought I ought to bring such things to your notice.

It is impossible to prevent people from gossiping or from drawing the worst conclusions when man and woman are seen to associate together. The one thing important is that the imputations made shall be untrue and for the rest one need not care.

Vidya has written asking for darshan for her mother and also for a farther supply of petals like those you sent her. Will you write telling her that her mother has permission for November and sending her the petals?

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August 1938

Yes, you can sell the house for Rs. 1000 – the Mother gives her permission.

Esha can come here for the November darshan with you; Hashi also. They will, I presume, live with you in the Tresor – in fact we have at present no other place. Other things will be settled hereafter when things are ready. Esha would, I suppose, like to stay permanently, but that needs some arrangement before it can be decided and in any case it could be only when her mother comes here in February.

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We take note of the case you speak of – the claim by a supposed secret message on behalf of an unknown and unacknowledged son. But how would that make any difference, even if the son were declared legitimate? Surendranath’s² property was surely self-acquired and that kind of property can, I think, be freely disposed of by will and thus existence of a son could not invalidate the will – it being only in case of ancestral ... [incomplete]

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September 4, 1938

Herewith Kalyan’s (my cousin who came if you know whom I mean ?) letter. A little long – forgive – but you have to read it. No go. The fellow means business. That is why. He is very anxious for your reply.

A few words about him. I’ll be brief.

Last year he had a turn in this direction. Had suffered I understand in life. Is a hydraulic engineer but was recalled by his father (who thought he wouldn’t live long) and so didn’t pass his final exam in Italy. Earned money on contracts but no fixed income – no service thanks to want of diploma. His father (who married my mother’s fifth sister) was very rich once – but spent most of his money in fashion and fallals. They have one of the loveliest palaces – for it is a palace, so to speak – in Calcutta. Kalyan, eldest son, has one brother and two sisters. Now they are not very well-off – have to let their upper storey for Rs. 250 a month. Kalyan and his mother and sister live in the ground floor. As he says his personal income would come now to about Rs. 50 a month or thereabouts. So far about his finances. I am sure however that he will give all that he has at his command. The fellow is earnest.

His character: very intelligent, not lazy, fairly well-read, very fond of reading, idealistic, talked once on subjects he didn’t know, improving with years, conscious of his defects, very popular, affectionate, not a little sad due to the fact that his professional life has not been a success, has been well over four years in Europe – Italy.

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For the rest you know better than me – I mean re his capacity for yoga etc. His coming here will do some good I think as he belongs to our Ballygunj aristocracy where Cod has no chance – his coming may cause some stir causing far-reaching ripples.

One thing is well-known: he is courageous, energetic, of very robust health, intelligent, sincere and warmhearted.

So he may do well if your grace falls on him. A reply – somewhat decisive – is expected by him and urgently – please [note].

The main question is whether he is ready or feels himself ready for the Ashram life. He is coming next November; does he want to settle the question before. When he saw the Mother, he seemed not to her sure that he was ready.

As for the money, there is no compulsion. Those who have nothing, are received without giving anything. Still it is expected that those who have will give. The Ashram has heavy expenses to bear excluding the maintenance of 200 persons. The other questions you can yourself, I think, answer.

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(On 24t^h November Sri Aurobindo had an accident and stopped writing letters for several years, that is why the following letters up to December 1941 are from Mother.)

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December 1, 1938

I have communicated your letter to Sri Aurobindo. He asks me to say that he is afraid it is not possible; until the doctors declare the knee cured only those who are necessary for tendance and service are admitted. If this rule were not kept there would be many demands on Him and likelihood of pressure and fatigue. So for the present at least it is not possible to say yes.

He sends you his blessings and along with them are mine.

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December 3, 1938

I am very sorry but in the present circumstances it is impossible for me to see anybody as I must be always free to go to Sri Aurobindo if at any time my presence is required.

As for Maya I have no objection to her staying alone with you. But it is quite impossible to give a room to Saurin in the Ashram. In view of what happened to him last time it should be clear that for himself also it would be most risky and undesirable.

Blessings

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December 3, 1938

I don’t know what has been reported to you – I simply meant that if Maya sees that you are supporting Esha in her resolution to remain here she is likely to yield more easily. I certainly do not want you to quarrel with Maya, only to use your influence to persuade her.

I read your letter privately to Sri Aurobindo.

Blessings

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December 5, 1938

Cher Dilip,

Lorsque vous êtes venu sur l’escalier après la méditation, je n’ai rien pu vous dire parce qu’il y avait la trop de monde. Mais j’aurais voulu pouvoir vous exprimer notre profonde et chaude sympathie et aussi notre appréciation de votre attitude en cette pénible affaire.³

Nos bénédictions sont toujours avec vous ainsi que toute notre affection.

[When you came on the staircase after meditation, I could not say anything to you because there were too many people. But I would have liked to be able to express our deep and warm sympathy and also our appreciation of your attitude in this painful matter.

Our blessings are always with you along with all our affection.]

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December 15, 1938

You say that I don’t love you, this is not at all true – but it is inevitable in the present circumstances that my time and attention should be concentrated on Sri Aurobindo and this is a thing which all those who reverence him must surely find quite natural. Neither you nor others should allow yourselves to think or even feel unconsciously that this preoccupation is due to want of love.

Sri Aurobindo asks me to add that it is not at all a fact that we feel your presence a burden or that you are unable to do this sadhana. You should not allow any temporary difficulty to affect you with this feeling or lead you to a hasty decision of this kind. You have already made much inner progress and you have only to stand firm for a greater progress in the future.

Sri Aurobindo sends you his love and blessings to which I join mine.

P.S. I read your letters to Sri Aurobindo alone and never show them to anybody.

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December 16, 1938

You may be sure that we shall not dismiss you rudely or otherwise. I am sorry you still feel the push to go, but I think you will not find it in you either to leave us permanently or to leave the Yoga.

Our love and blessings

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