My Savitri work with the Mother

September 1958

I painted several pictures of flowers and vases, but they were not up to much, because I was unable to receive the Mother's Force and inspiration directly.

The days passed, piling themselves into weeks. At last I waved adieu to East Africa and came back to the Ashram in the middle of September 1958.

I was ready to receive the Mother at the gate of Huta House. Every nerve in my body sang a song when her car approached. She alighted from it with her heart-warming smile. After we entered my apartment she gave me a bouquet of white roses which she had brought with her. She kissed me lightly on my brow and said:

Child, I have come to greet you.

She appreciated the gifts I brought for her. When I offered to the Mother a gold ring depicting two joined hands and said that the Supreme Lord and the Soul would never separate, she admired the ring and was touched immensely.

After that we went into my Meditation Room. She made herself comfortable on her special chair which was always there, ready. I sat near it. We meditated for about half an hour. During the meditation she opened her eyes wide. They were full of lustre and power. She looked intently at the photographs of Sri Aurobindo and herself. I felt as if they were surcharged with her Force. Then we got up. She looked at me and reassured me:

Sri Aurobindo's and my Presence are here for all twenty-four hours.

Then we went down the long red staircase holding hands and with a smile of happiness. I will never forget this last visit of the Mother to my apartment. I will cherish it forever in my heart.

In my sombre thoughts I remembered those months I had spent among my people, whom I understood fairly well when I had been frequently surrounded by them. Now I was standing back as if regarding an oil painting. Everything fell into focus. What I had been scarcely aware of at that time became very

clear to me now. My attachment to them started losing its grip over me and the Mother became the breath of my life, the root of my very existence. I was convinced of this truth.

Some part in me was not satisfied with only physical fitness or with what I had been doing or had achieved. Drawing and painting were not my final aim. I wanted to get rid of the inferiority complex, I wanted to gain self-confidence, I wanted to be self-reliant and free. Above all, I wished to express myself in the New Creation. Prototype living simply bored me. My mind kept harping on these notions. As always I went to the Mother in the evening at the Playground. We usually meditated together.

Cards bearing her constant Grace, Love and blessings, white roses and "Prasad" were perpetual presents from the Mother.