The Story of a Soul

27 December 1955

In answer to a query from me the Mother revealed the significance of red and white lotuses:

27.12.55

My dear little child,

The red lotus represents Sri Aurobindo, the white one represents me.

In a general way the lotus is the flower of the Divine Wisdom, whatever is its colour. But red it signifies the Avatar, the Divine incarnated in matter, and white it signifies the Divine Consciousness manifested upon earth.

Stand firm against the recurring attacks, my strength is fighting with you.

With my love and blessings.

If her strength had not fought along with me against the stubborn satanic powers I would not have remained here. Why here? As a matter of fact, I would have met my doom long ago. For these forces were not feeble or ordinary but terribly potent, cold-blooded, cruel and lethal.

The Mother alone was there for me.

I knew that at times I was very childish—something I must not be. I confessed it to her. She replied promptly:

Be freely childish with me and do not worry. It is always my love that receives your letters and if I am too busy (like yesterday) to answer your letter by writing, my love goes always to you to help and comfort you.

Gradually I was becoming more conscious, and beginning to scan my imperfections and their causes; but it is not an easy thing to convert the physical nature. To get release from the Wheel of Universal Nature was a herculean task, I thought. Human nature does not pause, it goes on and on: it consists of numberless elements both old and new. It draws on past lives as well as on present circumstances, situations and environments. In my childhood and girlhood I was given everything, but no true education of my physical, mental and vital parts. That was the main reason for me meeting with hideous difficulties now. I tried hard to check myself, but it was not always easy.

I wondered whether I had made any progress at all towards my goal. The Mother assured me:

Do not worry, you are progressing, little by little you will become fully conscious of yourself.

I gave a sigh of relief.