The Story of a Soul

27 September 1954

The last prayer in my diary is dated 27th September 1954:

Adored Beloved Mother,

Salutations to Your lotus feet.

Today—yes, today—I am writing with the tears of my heart and I am praying to you.

Yesterday my soul was so restless that I seemed to see the dangerous signs of coming moments. Still I forgot them all. But those of certain moments remained with me; what I heard from my people was really unbearable for me.

No doubt, all that You do for me is for my utmost good. Mother, am I not Yours?

Yes, the night too I spent in shedding tears. At that time a great and terrible fight was going on within me. It was the fight between gods and demons. Sighing my heart out I at last fell asleep. But what sweet consolation you gave me in my sleep!

"Dear child, once you are wrapped up in me, you will be free from all miseries."

You showed me face to face in my dream that I have plunged deep into the ocean of my soul. And when I felt there Your constant Presence, then I cried out, "O Mother."

But alas! again the same gloom and grief. You teach me wonderful lessons that I may no longer get entangled in any worldly things.

Now there is no place on earth where I can take refuge with a free heart and laugh with happiness. I request You, do listen to the call of a wounded heart! You will not disappoint me, will You?

Compassionate Mother, bring a marvellous transformation to my life so that I may forget my past, forget everyone. And fill this life of mine with Divine Love and Truth. I am waiting for that auspicious day.

Mother, will You be gracious now? I have been wandering and groping in the desert of time. Be my Oasis!

You have given me a woman's form on the earth; I have seen the whole play of the world. You have shown me the various colours of life and made me read their meanings.

Do You not know now my present way of living? I hardly know what to tell and what not to tell. But You know everything. And now at last I pray to You, "O Mother, make me forget the past, calm the adverse forces. Give wisdom to people and lead them all to the Divine alone. May Your great Will for all the races of the earth be fulfilled. May Your mighty Power be Victorious."

Mother, for all hope, joy, courage, enthusiasm, protection, Grace, Presence, Blessings and Love, I come to You. Accept me—and give me Salvation.