Sri Aurobindo : corresp.
THEME/S
Sometimes it is noticed that the mere presence of a woman is enough to raise the sexual sensations in us. How does it happen like that?
It is quite usual—just as the smell of very nice food may awake the desire of the food.
I notice that there are many sadhaks who mix with ladies quite freely, while I can't. Does it mean that they do not feel the sex-difficulty?
Some may not feel, others may not care whether they feel or not.
Today I had neither sexual sensations nor thoughts while in the presence of ladies; and yet there was something in the mind which I failed to understand.
Probably some pressure or presence of the sex force indeterminate and without form.
Am I more open than others to the universal forces so as to receive any bad influence from anywhere?
You have the same suggestions and invasions of these forces as others have.
While reading a famous mans biography I found that a sexual sensation came into me. How did this happen?
It comes in because it has been the habit of the vital to admit such movements.
In what way does the vital being partake in matters of sex?
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By desire, joy, personal attraction, passion and in many other ways.
When one becomes more and more aware of the vital-physical, is sexual sensitivity a necessary stage in the sadhana?
No — but since it has come, you have to face it and get rid of the sexuality.
I see a lot of imaginations and formations of an ambitious type. With them the sexual thoughts enter in a great number. At present their form is rather negative so they don't affect me much. They come and pass away. Do they come from my subconscient or from outside?
From outside — at least as far as the ambitious imaginations are concerned — probably the sexual thoughts also.
When I am in the Purusha consciousness there are no sex sensations, but the thoughts do trespass. Where do you then locate the defect in me?
It must be either the vital or physical mind that brings them in.
If the sexual thoughts also come from outside, how is it that I do not feel them as such, in the way I feel other kinds of thoughts, and why are they in a greater number than before?
I said that probably they are from outside — that is from the play of the forces of the Nature, it is not therefore surprising if they are more in number than before.
What is the connection between the sexual sensations and the inertia?
They come more easily when there is tamas. You have
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only to turn them out as soon as you feel them.
What I meant yesterday by my question about sex, inertia and the physical was this: is sex as much a principle of the physical as inertia?
The sexual sensations do not 'become' a principle of the physical consciousness — they are there in the physical nature already — wherever there is conscious life, the sex force is there. It is physical Nature's conscious means of reproduction and it is there for that purpose.
I was sitting on the staircase and quietly reading. There came a sadhika1; she sat a few steps below me. I paid no particular attention to her and continued my reading. But then the sexual thoughts at once began to run about me. They were so strong I could not rid myself of them by mere mental effort. So I had to withdraw within. It was only when I came out that I saw who the woman was. I wonder why this time the thoughts were so obstinately insistent.
Some persons have more sex influence in them than others.
Nowadays I have begun to reject the sex-movement. And yet I can see clearly that some part of the vital takes interest in women — either in an explicit or in an implicit way. How else could this movement be explained, for, though I was not off my guard I still could not keep myself detached from the attraction of R? Or was it possible that her vital too enjoyed the attraction?
Even without any response on her part it is possible. It is evident that part of your vital does not care at all for your
1 A woman-disciple
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mind's refusal — it goes on replying to the sexual suggestions.
The sexual notions still rise up. But now they seem to be more from the subconscient; there is no real substance, push, desire behind them, merely half-formed thoughts coming in a haphazard way. Well, what is to be done about them?
They have simply to be either quietly thrown aside or else not attended to.
The subconscient has now begun to push up the sexual stuff. But I do not accept it as mine since it has nothing to do with my conscious parts.
If these things are felt as belonging to the general nature, the question is what is the response of your own nature.
Coming across a woman all sorts of sexual thought-imaginations, sensations and feelings rise up. This happens sometimes even when I am alone in my room. Is there no immediate way out of this weakness?
What immediate way? The way is dissociation and a quiet but firm rejection. Also to turn the mind away to other things if these thoughts try to occupy it. If they are indulged or taken pleasure in, they increase.
It happens that during a certain stage of the sadhana the higher Force tackles the subconscient also. In reaction this nether part comes up with full activity. We then have to be on guard not to allow old sexual stuff to rise, spread and form into new or fresh outlets. Simply to be detached and pray to the Divine to turn sex-energy into ojas.
Yes, that is it.
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Talking with sadhikas I still feel uneasiness. Does this not show that the sex basis is still there?
Yes, it ought practically to be forgotten that they are sadhikas.
To see no difference between man and woman except physiological and grammatical is one of the steps towards the purification of the sex centre.
A very important step.
Would you kindly explain why sex is so very active at present?
It is part of the attempt of the old vital nature to regain possession.
Is there any general working from above for the transformation of sex and is that why so many suffer from it?
No. It is nothing new; except perhaps that in some it has been reinforced by the upsurging of the subconscient.
It is the result of the general working going down into the subconscient.
The sex difficulty is still strong and insistent. You wrote that there was no special action on it (for change). Why then is it so active and prominent?
Of its own accord. Special action is not designed to make it active, but to remove it.
If so, why is it more active now than before?
I suppose because it thinks it has a better chance.
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The inertia has come up and is trying to stain the lower vital and the sex centre. Is it not rather unusual that those parts should allow themselves to be influenced?
When one is tamasic the sex plays very easily — that is not at all unusual.
I do not mind so much the difficulties like inertia, desire, ego etc. They do not trouble me like sex which has become awful.
If ego cannot trouble the being why should sex trouble it? It is because your consciousness accepts it and does not accept ego. Or why the difference?
I hear A suffers too much from the sex uprising. What means does he take to face it?
I don't know that he takes any; he goes on suffering.
The other day you wrote to me: "If ego cannot trouble the being why should sex trouble it?" Is it not possible that one may be disturbed by one and not by the other?
They are both rajasic forces of vital nature. It (ego) is a difficulty as sex is a difficulty. The inner being can put both out and regard them as foreign things.
For a long time, my consciousness did not come across sex-imaginations. However, I did not know how far progress was carried on in the conquest of sex. Today at the end of the Pranam ceremony a few of those imaginations did try to clash with me. But there was no response even from the lower parts of the being.
Good.
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I have written to you that it was possible to detach myself from the sex difficulty to some extent. But there is no total overcoming it.
What you are able to detach yourself from does not so much matter. It can wait for final removal. It is the physical difficulty that must be overcome.
It is not a question of overcoming, but of detachment — not being identified with it or seized by it.
Detachment is the first step. If you can detach yourself from the sex suggestions even when having them as you say, then they do not matter so much as the tamas, inertia etc. which interfere with your sadhana. They can wait for their final removal hereafter.
SEXUAL DREAMS
While I am getting some control over the sex impulses during the waking condition, there is absolutely no change in my dream state. How is that?
It is absolutely necessary to get rid of sex interest. But the night dreams will only disappear after the waking mind is perfectly free.
In last night's dream some vital being took the form of a near relative of mine, so that she could approach me easily and request me to accompany her. When we reached her room she expressed her sexual desire. I refused her emphatically and ran away from her. She became furious and pursued me. When she found that my real relatives were coming she became quiet. Have you anything to say about my sex difficulty?
No. Except that it has to be got rid of sooner or later and meanwhile kept at arm's distance at least. To fight and
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conquer is best, but to refuse and run away is also good.
Nearly every night I have to get up at midnight for passing water, even when I do not have any sexual dream. Has it then any connection with sex?
Sexual dreams are sometimes the result of the pressure of undischarged urine on the organ.
Can the sexual dreams bring out urine on the bed itself?
Sexual dreams usually bring out the semen or the seminal fluid, not the urine.
I informed you about sex and urine during the sleep state. Now during the day also there is a constant pressure on the organ for passing water, almost every ten minutes. Has it any physical or psychological cause?
There must be some physical reason connected with the kidneys; perhaps the cause is connected with the sciatica (rheumatic tendency in the system).
You wrote that the pressure for passing water has 110 psychological reason. What then is the pressure due to?
It may be due to some weakness in the action of the urinating parts or to something in the system that the organs want to discharge out of it or to any other physical cause.
LEAVING THE
If one is in the Ashram from childhood, does one get over the sex difficulty without bothering about it?
The staying in the Ashram is not enough.
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This period seems to be a difficult one. Some Ashramites who were here for long are going out with the Mother's permission for experiment. It is said they found it too difficult to manage here with their ego and sex. I doubt if they will succeed with the experiment.
It is well understood that the permission given does not exclude the possibility of the experiment ending badly. But the experiment becomes necessary if the pull of the ego or the outer being and that of the soul have become too acute for solution otherwise or if the outer being insists on having its experience.
After our staying for so many years in the Ashram, how are these old difficulties surging up so powerfully?
With many sex, demands etc. after a long discontinuance come up with a rush and they find it too difficult to overcome.
Even some good people cherish their bad habits in the hope that when the transformation is done they will drop off themselves.
That is the mistake of many in the Ashram.
And others say: "Why bother with them at all? They do not come in the way of the sadhana."
Some even say: "What is the need of suppressing these things? I get experiences without suppressing them. They are a part of life."
Once a strong sexual push comes up, is it really better for one to go out and make an experiment?
It is especially when the outer being rejects the Truth and
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insists on having its own life and refuses the rule of the spiritual life that the experiment becomes inevitable. I have never said that it is recommendable.
Does that push really become so violent that in spite of knowing its nature and the result of its satisfaction one cannot control it remaining in the Ashram?
In some it is too strong, they have to go and see for themselves. That does not mean that everyone has to go whenever he feels a difficulty. These are exceptional cases.
But supposing a man's sex-pull becomes so strong that he indulges it in the Ashram; will he not have to go back to the worldly life and take it out there?
Will all be well returning to the Ashram after pacifying the push? Do such desires, once satisfied willingly, leave him at peace for the rest of his life?
If the external being is too strong for him and its desires increased, then it means his realisation is postponed. But then there is no other choice. For the only other alternative is a life in the Ashram itself which would be soon a public scandal.
What brings about such hopelessness after one has already entered the spiritual path?
There is no hopelessness except where the will chooses the worse path.
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