Sri Aurobindo : corresp.
THEME/S
DETACHMENT AND LIBERATION
Now it is as if the Mother were carrying me into herself, leaving behind only a projection of her Force which works in my external nature.
That was what was needed — on one side the dwelling in the Mother, on the other the consciousness of her Force working in the physical being.
My actions are beginning to be felt (not merely thought to be) as being performed by her Force while I remain merged in her consciousness.
It is very good. That was what was needed.
I feel myself far from the ignorance and falsehood and close to the Mother. Not that the ordinary nature and its movements are gone for ever, but due to my separateness their reactions do not touch me.
It is the true Yogic consciousness in which one feels that oneness and lives in it, not touched by the outer being and its inferior movements, but looking on them with a smile at their ignorance and smallness. It will become much more possible to deal with these outer things if that separateness is maintained always.
Even the inertia now seems like something detached from me.
That is good. Inertia or anything else must be felt as
Page 282
separate, not part of one's real self which is one with the Divine.
In the midst of physical or even mental occupation I cannot forget the Mother.
That is very good.
It was a surprise to watch that my sadhana was going on even diving the work although I made no conscious attempt to separate myself from the work.
It is a stage of detachment and separation which is necessary in Yoga. It is only so that freedom in the work can come.
In the midst of work I feel myself at full rest. Even the body consciousness does not feel that it is working.
That is right. It is so that it must be felt.
I am afraid I wrote yesterday rather too much about my feeling separate from the outer Prakriti during work.
No, it was all right — a very clear and precise statement.
Since the sadhana has taken a turn for the positive side, I do not like to look much at the negative or write on the happenings there, provided you agree to it.
Yes, certainly — that is the best.
The inner and spiritual experiences, realisations etc. come truly from the Mother. But that truth we accept only on faith, as their source is not detectable by us in the beginning. But now I can clearly see and feel them coming from her, even as one sees the Ganges flowing down from the Himalayas.
Page 283
It is very good indeed. It was what was lacking in the former realisation of self and of peace, now with this realisation you have the foundation of the dynamic as well as the static side of the Truth.
I experience as if my mental and vital consciousness were merged in the Mother, while the (subtle) physical has begun to feel itself on the lap of the Mother.
Yes.
When X went to the Mother for Pranam and she put her hand on his head I too felt the touch of her hand on my own head. How did this happen?
It shows that the subtle physical is growing conscious and felt the touch and blessing of the Mother which is always there.
Returning from the Pranam ceremony when the Mother was throwing a last glance at us from the staircase, some tears and a profound feeling surged out from my heart.
It is the natural psychic movement of love and bhakti deep down in the being.
THE INMOST SILENCE
Is not the innermost being now possessing me?
My inner emptiness is growing into a solid and permanent condition so that nothing can penetrate into me from outside. Yes, that is what must happen.
Page 284
O Lord, again I am getting inertia. What am I to do?
Keep yourself separate from the inertia as you do from the wrong vital suggestions, sex, ego, etc.
I see different kinds of flowers as if floating before my eyes. Strange to say, before they are clearly visible to me they themselves announce their significances.
Thus I saw, one after the other, two flowers signifying,
(1) "The physical consciousness turned towards the Light",
(2) "The peace in the cells".
It is evidently from what you have written the thing that is happening — the physical consciousness is opening to the spiritual experience.
In action I feel detached and the Mother's Force working in my place; I find myself above with her at the same time.
All is very good — to live on a higher plane and see the action in the physical from it as something separate is a definite stage in the movement towards transformation.
The mind and vital are simply flooded with the experiences. In the consciousness of the physical also the experiences are beginning, while the background of peace and silence is always maintained.
It is very good, that was what was needed — the settled background of peace and silence as the foundation of an activity of experience.
The stuff of my being has become so quiet that it is difficult for me even to pray!
Page 285
It is probably that — in order to establish entirely the inmost Silence.
To what heights the Mother is escorting me! She makes me bear with case her powerful and rapid working.
I am sorry I am unable to describe to you at present all that is happening in me (experiences, realisations etc.).
You will do so hereafter when these things have ripened and can be expressed.
On what a mute ocean do we float! Each day I find the water calmer than before.
It is true that peace and silence can always become deeper and wider and more intense.
Every evening brings a strong voidness — shama. I suppose it is meant as a preparation for my reception of what the Mother brings down during the night Meditation.
The Mother is trying to establish in me a dynamic stillness which could vibrate only to her Knowledge.
Right.
This realisation already shows its beginning in my active state.
That is good.
That deeper silence will spontaneously open me to the understanding of the inner experiences and the higher devel-
Page 286
opments by the light of the Knowledge from above. Then there will be no need to write to you so much about my sadhana as now.
Yes, for the most part. But when the experience is of importance for the progress it can be written.
If one wants to cut down one's troubles to a minimum, one should try to follow the sunlit path, which means "give all and ask nothing".
Yes, all that is quite true.
The body has such a peace that there is not the slightest stir in it when I soar high above. If the little mental sense were not there it would be a trance!
Trance could not be sufficient — the waking consciousness must be the same.
What greater day can there be than the one when the Mother is accepted even by my lower vital?
Yes, when that has been done, it is one of the biggest steps in the sadhana.
I see a dawning possibility of my silence and work getting fused into each other.
That will surely happen.
Till recently, it was I who used to enter into the Mother's consciousness and live in it. Now, it seems as if she has begun to come into me and be with me more and more.
It is the next thing that must be perfected.
It seems to me, Lord, that my physical body is opening to the Mother's experiences. There is nothing to be said about the
Page 287
peace and silence — they appear to be there all the time, but something else happened yesterday. The subconscient inertia arose, and I put the whole of my concentration on it. I felt at the same time that the Mother's Force was working in the nerves of my left hand. It was a concrete experience.
Another thing. I cannot quite make out why I need to be inactive in order to observe the experiences of the physical. Could one of the reasons be that at present I am doing that part of the sadhana which is concerned with the static side?
Every morning from half past four to half past nine the subnature seems to remain active in a fixed rhythm. It would really be a shame if I allowed its working passively. I try and try to bring down something by long and single-minded concentration, but nothing happens that can change this condition.
One night after the evening Meditation the Mother showed me a dynamic and positive way by awakening the psychic and the self's fire, but again a more passive state got in and her method was suspended.
I know the time has now come when I must take up seriously the reins of the nature and control it. The old way of remaining as a passive observer should become a matter of the past. But I don't know how this step could possibly be taken with such an increasing passivity.
The dynamic action when it comes acts without disturbing the silence and peace. There is the vast peace and silence and in that the Force or the Will works to do what is necessary — in that also is the action of Agni or the psychic.
At present what I see as inertia may perhaps be coming from the subliminal consciousness; otherwise how can my physical be reposing in peace and silence in spite of the inertia?
It is evidently in that case the subconscient inertia.
Page 288
The lower nature tried its best, but in vain, to throw its waves of jealousy on my vital, for the Mother has so reinforced my environmental consciousness with her Peace that nothing foreign to her can penetrate it.
Yes, that is the peace that must be there.
TWO FIRES
I see that a sadhak who comes to the Mother for Pranam with the right attitude and not with the object of satisfying any vital demand of desire, does not concentrate on her physical movements like smiling or the putting of her hand on his head, for his attention is directed towards the inner reception; he may not even know if she puts her hand on his head or not or if she smiles at him, for his concentration is turned exclusively to her eyes — those seas of Truth, and it is from there that he hopes to receive something.
Yes, that is quite true.
Who can deny that her single gaze is quite sufficient for him to receive all that he needs?
Why then are some people not content with her one look or a little touch? Is it not because of their time-born ego which keeps them in ignorance and darkness? They do not know or rather refuse to conceive that there is no limitation of time and space with the Divine, that she can create wonders in the fraction of a moment. Thus their minds deny rigidly that she, the Divine Mother, can help them adequately by a mere look or a touch. As they are so limited and narrow they take her also to be such! No doubt such foolishness is not in the true being, but in the outer. But then it must be kept outside and not allowed to become a fact.
Page 289
All that is very well said. It is the real truth about the matter.
It seems that the Mother has started today a new working in me. In the morning there was a keen and strong pressure on my right temple, and an inner intoxication which kept me merged in her Peace and Silence all through. I noticed that most of the inner and higher parts, which ordinarily remain prominent, withdrew in a deep passivity; the outer being was then left to itself without any dynamic control. When this happened the inertia tried to take advantage by rising up.
If the physical being has felt and assimilated the silence and peace, then inertia ought not to rise up.
Why do I feel today that I should keep myself plunged in this rich and deep intoxication and suspend my post1 and prayer?
It is better not to suspend the post.
Thou knowest, Lord, that I have been keeping separate from the lower Prakriti for a long time. It is during this period of detachment that the Mother made me realise what I really am and what human nature is. But the Mother knows that a mere separation is not enough. Now I must control that nature and govern it according to her Light; then only can there be a conquest. Let me then apply myself to this new movement for the further change of my outer being. I have become conscious that her cleansing Fire is there, capable of purifying and transforming the darkest material.
The Mother, as the Divine Agni, has done something
1 My writing letters to Sri Aurobindo.
Page 290
special to mc during Meditation. It is that which has made me write all this, and has shown me what she wishes to do in me in the future.
Already a change within and around is noticed. She has awakened two fires for her great work. But why two? Was not one enough? It is because one fire may not be able to keep pace with her new working which is so tremendous, powerful, fast, and full of Agni.
Thus two fires are indispensable. One is in the heart; it will go on tirelessly putting its pressure upon the unconverted parts, and helping their purification and transformation. The other is in the higher consciousness, the Agni of the self; this will support the psychic fire and keep it alive all the time. For, the psychic fire, being already in the evolution, may get veiled by the lower nature, but the Agni of the self is always above the Creation and so is ever detached and dynamic. It can bring down whatever help and protection is necessary from the Mother.
Yes, the two are necessary for any complete or rapid transformation.
I am aware that for such a powerful action of the Mother I must remain in a fully conscious state of vigilance, intense aspiration, surrender and rejection, not flagging even for a moment. No feeling, thought or action should be allowed unless it is from the Mother or for her work.
It is good. If you remain in a fully conscious state, the cleaning of the nature ought not to be difficult — afterwards the positive work of its transformation into a perfect instrument can be undertaken.
Lord, it will be good if the Mother does something —
Page 291
otherwise I may perhaps have to suspend the outer communications; for, her love in which she is pressing me is so deep and sublime that my poor pen refuses to manifest it through a material thing like paper!
Material things are not to be despised — without them there can be no manifestation in the material world.
The following flowers present themselves repeatedly before me: "Psychic purity" (Jasminum), "Purity in the blood" (Pimpinella major) and "Aspiration in the physical for the supramental light" (Ixora Singaporensis). Arc they thus announcing the descent of these things?
The first two perhaps, but the supramental light in the physical cannot come until much else is done to prepare the physical for it.
It is for the great object of transformation that the Divine Mother sends down something from her own self in the form of experiences and realisations.
Remaining in the Mother the sadhak need not remain all passive, doing nothing, when the lower nature becomes active; but remaining in her he must repel everything undivine.
Correct.
If one is vigilant and constantly keeps a watch over all the movements, the feeling of dullness will not come, experiences will not stop, and progress in the sadhana will not be affected. Often a sadhak feels that the experiences have stopped; this is because what he has already received is being consolidated in him. But even then, if he is sufficiently conscious and watchful, he will find that it is only from the surface consciousness that they are withdrawn. The inner
Page 292
being still has them in the deeper regions of the consciousness. For, if he is fully aware of his true self with a ceaseless aspiration, he will not be denied the experiences for a long time. For this he has of course to learn to observe things deep behind the surface layers.
That is all true and I am glad you have realised it.
Page 293
Home
Disciples
Nagin Doshi
Books
Share your feedback. Help us improve. Or ask a question.