Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

January 1934

Is there any hint that the projection from the mind into the vital has been rather invited and encouraged by myself?

It came by being preoccupied too much with the difficulties of the nature. It is always better to dwell on the good side of things in yourself—I do not mean in an egoistic way, but with faith and cheerful confidence, calling down the positive experience of which the nature is already capable so that a constant positive growth can help in the rejection of all that has to be rejected. But in fact one gets often projected into the vital difficulties at an early stage and then instead of going from the mind into the psychic (through the heart) one has to go through the disturbed vital.

Is it possible to retrace One's steps to the psychic? If so, how?

It can be done, if you refuse to be preoccupied with the idea of your difficulties and concentrate on really helpful and positive things.

Be more cheerful and confident. Sex and Doubt and Co. are there, no doubt, but the Divine is there also inside you. Open your eyes and look and look till the veil is rent and you see Him—or Her.

January 1, 1934

While meditating I saw among many things, a sea in flood Just after it the silver disc of the sun flashing brilliantly.

The sea is the vital—the sun the first appearance of the Light of Truth over it.

January 2, 1934

Though you have given me permission to take a cup of tea, as soon as I face you I feel guilty.

If you feel like that, it is much better not to take tea.

S called me to see him. He offered me a cup of tea. Do you approve of my taking anything offered by him in future?

No.

It would be better not to take S's things—this cooking has re-awakened his greed of food and made him ill again, after I had completely cured him.

January 13, 1934

Can you spare me a canvas cot, if any? If you can, please sanction some mosquito frame arrangement too.

Ask for the canvas cot and a mosquito frame to be used with. Impossible to hang a mosquito frame on the independent principle here.

January 14, 1934

Last night I had a unique experience: I saw a skeleton standing by my bed, it seemed to resemble my father...

The skeleton was created by your fear.

I have heard that when someone dies with strong attachments, his spirit remains chained as it were to the object of his desire.

Yes.

But these spirits are supposed to be maleficent and their appearance also ugly. He seemed to have nothing of these. Did he mean any harm?

No they need not be.

No. The fear is absurd and has no ground

What should I do if he comes again? Shall I face him and look intently at him and call your name?

The best is to ask what he wants. If there is anything malicious, then use the name.

January 15, 1934

C asked me whether I'd like to take up supervision work in the House-painting Department. But it's a whole-time work, so other duties have to be given up. What should I do?

It may not be whole time. Speak to Rishabhchand and see what can be arranged.

In connection with that spirit, may I ask you if it was actually my father's spirit even when it had no resemblance?

But if it had no resemblance, why did you take it for your father? It may have been only an ordinary being of the vital world.

Sometimes it appears that all efforts and aspirations are simply like so many stones thrown into the sea. And I feel that there is not a drop of devotion in me for you... I want some busy work that would carry me along with the stream. How to face this situation?

Mother says "Beware of what you talk. Also a certain kind of thoughts. It is very often talks one has that bring in this condition throwing one into the most ordinary and dry physical consciousness." Recover your reading tendency, work and get rid of tamas.

January 18, 1934

I spoke to Rishabhchand. He would like to have a full-time worker. But Shona wants me to do the garden work with him. I leave it to you.

Mother has written to Rishabhchand that you can be relieved from the office work but might not like to give up garden work, so he should try to arrange in such a way that the garden work could continue.

January 19, 1934