Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

June 1934

Nirod,

You can write to C that it is obvious he must stop this thing if he is to make any progress in his sadhana. Sexuality even of the natural kind is an obstacle, but unnatural practices like these are a much greater obstacle—they bring greater reactions, make the will weak and bring a habitual subjection to the lower forces. He has allowed himself to relax his will and as a result the forces he had kept in check here have rushed up with a double force and brought up everything in that line to which his lower vital had been at any time open. He must stop it at once! If it is idleness that makes him like that let him keep himself busy. But most of all he must once more fix his will, realise that he must stop yielding and make up his mind to give no indulgence whatever.

SRI AUROBINDO
June 6, 1934

In the afternoon I felt a descent of Ananda. In sheer joy, I could have embraced the earth itself, Ramakrishna is said to have gone into ecstasy at the sight of clouds. My ecstasy, if you will excuse my impudence, was of the same kind.

It is Ananda in the mind and vital.

No apology necessary. The Ananda is the same for everyone, whether Ramakrishna or another.

To relieve myself in some way of this rapture, I wanted most unfortunately to express it in a verse with the consequent loss of the rapture.

What was the necessity of that? And why did you want to relieve yourself of the rapture?

For some time past the inspiration has stopped. Find it rather painful.

You must remember that you are not a "born" poet—you are trying to bring out something from the Unmanifest inside you. You can't demand that that should be an easy job. It may come out suddenly and without apparent reason like the Ananda—but you can't demand it.

The pangs of delivery cannot always be avoided.

To acquire a good style in prose I am reading any and every book in Bengali.

Any and every! That is more likely to spoil the style.

But I don't want to lose the peace and the joy I am in now. If you think that over-reading or reading anything will lower the consciousness I shall lessen the activity.

I do not know whether the peace and joy will stand over-reading. It may if it is very strong.

June 8, 1934

My friend C is extremely troubled by his own defects and is in utter despair and thinks of putting an end to his, life. What should I tell him?

You have seen my answer I suppose. You can add that despair is absurd and talks of suicide quite out of place. However a man may stumble, the Divine Grace will be there so long as he aspires for it and in the end lead him through.

Last night I woke up suddenly in a condition of deep ecstasy. My room seemed to be quite different, it was pervaded by your presence. I felt I was lying in an immense cradle of that presence. I wonder if the condition was a stupefaction of the senses due to an interruption of sleep or a simple imagination.

What on earth is this nonsense? Do you mean that an experience of the pervading Presence can only be due to a stupefaction of the senses, an interruption of sleep or a simple imagination?

When you get experiences, especially such experiences, take them as they are. Why these mental mystification?

If my Ananda was vital and mental, is there a psychic An too?

I did not say it was vital and mental, but that it was Ananda manifesting itself in the mental and vital—a quite different thing; for the one Ananda (the true thing) can manifest in any part of the being.

June 9, 1934

If you think that my Sunday feasts may harm me, I will stop them, or at least make them infrequent.

But do you not feel yourself whether it harms or not? These things are of small importance to those who are still in the ordinary mind, important only to those who have begun to live within or to have major experiences. The latter is your case since you lived several days with the Ananda in you.

June 19, 1934

You mean that these feasts are not good for me?

Yes

Is Ananda a major experience?

Light, Peace, Force, Ananda constitute the spiritual consciousness; if they are not among the major experiences, what are?

There is no doubt that there is a craving for relishing dishes and then it is not far to seek an excuse.

Probably the cessation of the meal would make your vital uncomfortable—so it may be better to continue.

June 20, 1934

Last night I dreamed that C had come to me and I took hold of his hand: I opened my eyes; there was no C! But I felt that he had possessed me just as a spirit would have done. I wanted to cry for Mother but he wouldn't allow me.

It was not C at all, but some vital force taking his form. These are things that happen when you enter the vital world. The only thing needed is not to be afraid and to call on the Mother.

June 25, 1934