Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

March 1933

What shall I do about the scattering of my mind?

The method of gathering of the mind is not an easy one. It is better to watch and separate oneself from the thoughts till one becomes aware of a quiet space within into which they come from outside.

March 1, 1933

As soon as I start meditating I lapse into sleep.

The sleep does come like that when one tries to meditate. It has to be dealt with, where that is possible, by turning it into a conscious inner and indrawn state and, where not, by remaining in a quietly concentrated wakefulness open (without effort) to receive.

Some days I feel intensely happy after doing pranam³ seeing your smiling face. On other days, there is calmness, but no joy. I thought it has something to do with your smile.

Or does it depend on the state of the psychic being?

Don't start having that idea. It is quite untrue and those who indulge it raise vital reactions and imaginations in themselves and provoke much unnecessary trouble.

It is in yourself that there is the variation, not of the psychic being which is always all right, but of the rest, mind, vital or body.

March 4, 1933

Should one write about everything? Or according to the need of each?

Only those who feel the need, write their experiences or condition daily to the Mother. Even so, they need not write the same things daily, but only what they feel the necessity to write.

Is there any difference between doing meditation in a sitting position and doing it while walking? I feel that while walking, it is not possible to get the same amount of concentration as in the other—for beginners, at least.

It is as each finds convenient. Some meditate better walking, some sitting.

I suppose meditation while walking is more likely to be a prayer than meditation proper.

Not at all. One can meditate very well when walking.

Do I profit, Mother, by simply looking at you or your photograph?

Yes, very many do.

I want to know whether I am pursuing the right line.

Yes.

March 10, 1933

I dreamed that I had gone away from the Asram, to my native place. My misery and utter helplessness cannot be described.

I think the significance of my dream was that life outside will be a hell for me. I am meant for this life and must stick to what I am called for.

Yes, obviously.

The hostile thoughts which may and do arise in me sometimes, can they not be partly due to my relatives' thought-waves disturbing my poise and equilibrium?

Yes.

Then how to prevent them? By constant aspiration and your kind help and blessings?

Yes, and by elimination of old interests and attachments

I read Galsworthy's book "Flowering Wilderness" which is a very good one, still-it did not help me, for I felt unhappy.

Why should something that belongs to quite another order of con sciousness help the sadhana?

Can one be in a serious mood throughout the day?

It is quite possible—only it is not a mood, but a quiet and ardent consciousness.

March 13, 1933

May I take French lessons from Benjamin?

You can.

I hear there will be music⁴ tomorrow at 4.30 p.m. May I come away at 4 from my work to get a good seat?

It is at 5 o'clock.

Nolini has told you, I suppose, that I intend to shift tomorrow, after pranam. Please give the necessary orders for a servant to help me in shifting and getting the room ready.

Things have been arranged for that.

March 18, 1933

Mother, you forgot to give flowers for B and P.

A whole handful of flowers were given to C for distribution to everybody there.

Could I have a mosquito curtain? The one I have is too big for my cot.

At present, Mother has no cloth for mosquito nets. But you can give yours to Kanai for making it of the size of the cot.

March 20, 1933

I have read in the Mother's "Conversations" that if one prays to her before going to bed to be conscious in sleep, it helps.

You have to start by concentrating before your sleep, always with a specific will or aspiration. The will or aspiration may take time to reach the subconscient, but if it is sincere, strong and steady, it does reach after a time so that an automatic consciousness and will are established in the sleep itself which will do what is necessary.

March 21, 1933

I am having a peculiar experience for the past few days. After pranam I usually go to the reception room and gaze at Sri Aurobindo's portrait for about fifteen minutes. Then I pass a few minutes over the newspapers. When I get up I get dizzy, my head reels and I have at once to sit down. Is it connected with sadhana, and if so what am Ito do?

It seems to be connected not with sadhana but with newspapers. After 15 minutes' concentration to plunge into newspapers may not unnaturally lead to such a result.

Last night I went to hear music and sat beside Nolini. I felt an intense joy, not to be equalled by the jay of music. Is it merely an imagination?

No—it means there is a vital sympathy

March 26, 1933

Mother, I took your permission to walk about or meditate in the Pranam hall when you play on the organ in the morning. But some days I am late due to miscalculation of time.

Mother never plays before 9.30.

March 30, 1933