The letters reveal Nirod's unique relationship with his guru. The exchanges are suffused with a special humour.
Sri Aurobindo : corresp.
Nirodbaran's correspondence with Sri Aurobindo began in February 1933 and continued till November 1938, when Sri Aurobindo injured his leg and Nirod became one of his attendants. The entire correspondence, which was carried on in three separate notebooks according to topics - private, medical, and literary - is presented in chronological order, revealing the unique relationship Nirod enjoyed with his guru, replete with free and frank exchanges and liberal doses of humour. Covering a wide range of topics, both serious and light-hearted, these letters reveal the infinite care Sri Aurobindo devoted to the spiritual development of his disciple.
THEME/S
I don't know if you want a separate report from me of D.L., apart from what I sent you through Pavitra. R surely writes everything and Pavitra tells you all. I have said that R doesn't agree with Valle's diagnosis and writes in today's report that it is "dyspeptic congestion of the colon"!! About Chlorodyne, Dr. Becharlal and I have given our opinion.
The report you speak of has not reached me, so I don't know anything about the chlorodyne. There is a letter from R, but it gives only the general condition during the day (hyper-pyrexin and a crisis due to tympanitis), says that in spite of that there is some amelioration, I understand from Pavitra that Valle found some amelioration in the condition of the heart in the evening.
As to the diagnosis. Valle, you say assigns a gynaecological cause for the illness, so far that agrees with what was R's insistence all along in his letters to me that there must be such a cause—he named some such specific causes also—but he could not be sure because no such cause was admitted at the time by the patient. That was when there were the epigastric pains and before there was the generalisation. It is now over the present development that there is dispute. But I gather from your report that, it being an advanced stage of peritonitis, there is no hope. In a day or some days—or according to R in some weeks, if it is peritonitis—she must go. But then it does not seem to matter what treatment is given,—the best can only give her some more days of suffering. Is this right? All are agreed at least on that matter?
The only hope then is that it might not be peritonitis or that it being peritonitis, R's optimism aided by any force I can give, which cannot be much under the circumstances, will pull her through as it did the others in R's cases whose lives were given up by the doctors. But for this last miracle the conditions are not very favourable. Perhaps if she lives through tonight and the next few days with an amelioration there may be a chance. I put this all down in order to have the situation clear in my mind. One thing only is a good sip that the Mother's force + R's medicines blessed by her pulled her out of the certain death which had come on her the other night; but on the other hand it did not prove as it would have been in another case, decisive.
October 1, 1936
[The first report was written by Dr. Becharlal, regarding S's illness, treatment, diet and work, and all the arrangements to meet her complaints.]
Mother approves all your arrangements. If you think, she can do light work for an hour. Is it advisable for her to leave her room or go about? She has fancies about her room, disliking it, and thinks it is her room that makes her ill.
K vomited a small particle of bright red blood... Examined the lungs and found that the lesion has extended more than last time. Can you not consent again to an X-ray? [26.12.35]
Yes.
If the diagnosis is correct, the treatment has to be pursued actively and regularly. The best thing would be to send her away...
That's all very well—but she was ill before she came and the family, X says, will do nothing for her treatment if she is sent back. What to do then?
She has gone down in health, feels easily tired. Her food is very, very scanty...
If so, how can she recover? In T.B. surely suralimentation is necessary.
It seems Mother strongly disapproved of D.L.'s taking up that rice-pounding work, but she insisted and Mother had to give way. The origin of her trouble or its recrudescence is traced to that heavy muscular work.
All that is rubbish. The trouble was due to something else not physical without which she could have gone on pounding another fifty years without injury to her body.
... I must say that R's theories about diseases are absurd, however successful he may be as a homeopath-physician.
You may say what you like about the homeopathic theories, but I have seen R work them out detail by detail in cases where he had free and unhampered action and the confidence of the patients and their strict obedience and have seen the results correspond to his statements and his predictions based on them fulfilled not only to the very letter but according to the exact times fixed, not according to R's reports but according to the daily long detailed and precise reports of the allopathic doctor in attendance. After that I refuse to believe, even if all the allopaths in the world shout it in unison, that homeopathic theory or R's interpretation and application of it are mere rubbish and nonsense. As to mistakes, all doctors make mistakes and very bad ones and kill as well as cure—my grandfather and one of my cousins were patently killed by one of the biggest doctors in Bengal. One theory is as good as another and as bad according to the application made of it in any particular case. But it is something else behind that decides the issue.
Just hear what grave errors he has committed. He said to me that he brought about the profuse menstruation in D.L.'s case by his drug, in order to get rid of some mischief there which the patient would not admit. He asked me if this excessive flow should be stopped... He had no justification at all to cause that profuse bleeding, when every drop of blood was precious.
To bring out the latent illness and counteract it, is a recognised principle in homeopathy and is a principle in Nature itself. He misapplied it here because he was in ignorance of the full facts about the menstrual trouble.
As I understand from you, it was only from me that you came to know about her critical condition.
No. I said he had told me her condition was very critical; but he had given no details. I learned the details from you.
Even after her fainting, he took her walking to the pier. Good Lord, an extremely debilitated, anaemic patient to be moved about like that!
Never heard of the anaemia before or then. It was all a talk about stomach, worms or this or that stomachic ailment.
Chlorodyne contains morphia which, you know, is a sedative to the heart and respiration etc. Dr. Becharlal told R about its dangers, but R said, "I have given it already and the drugs to counteract its effects." Counteracting would be tantamount to making it useless and ineffective.
[Sri Aurobindo underlined "tantamount to making it useless and ineffective".]
Not according to homeopathic theory.
Valle said, after D.L.'s death, that he was positive about the cause of death. All symptoms and signs were of peritonitis.
May be or may not be. Neither Valle nor R are infallible. So often I have seen a diagnosis made on all the symptoms which turned out to be the wrong one. It is like a condemnation on circumstantial evidence.
I believe Mother's Force had an effect on these medicines, but when R went out of those to this Chlorodyne, and didn't let you know, the danger was signalled. Of course, in any case, the condition was hopeless, but who knows?
How can you believe that when everything is explained according to medical science? There is no place left there for Mother's Force or any force except Valle-Force.
Valle said D.L. would have passed away two or three days ago, but glucose, oxygen and injections kept her up. Beating our drum?
Quite so.
Whatever was given to her: glucose etc., met with opposition from R.
Quite natural for a homeopath, just as your sneering at homeopathic theories and treatment is natural in an allopath.
It seems you were not very hopeful from the time I reported about her case.
No. As I say, he told me it was critical.
If he had informed you before, wouldn't it have been better?
No, it would not have been better.
Why do you say that the conditions were not favourable?
They were unfavourable for working through R as we had worked in outside cases or as I have worked by myself in certain cases outside or inside.
Why didn't your Force prove decisive in this case? About the Supermind and its failure over hostile forces, I give you a chance to bombard me or else I shall!
What has the Supermind to do here? Who told you that I was using the supramental Force? I have said all along that it was not the supramental Force that was acting. If you want the supramental Force, you had better go to Jogesh Mama of Chittagong. I hear from Chittagong that the supramental Force is descending in him.
I have put down a few comments to throw cold water on all this blazing hot allopathism. But all these furious disputes seem to me now of little use. I have seen the working of both systems and of others and I cannot believe in the sole truth of any. The ones damnable in the orthodox view, entirely contradicting it, have their own truth and succeed—also both the orthodox and heterodox fail. A theory is only a constructed idea-script which represents an imperfect human observation of a line of processes that Nature follows or can follow; another theory is a different idea-script of other processes that also she follows or can follow. Allopathy, homeopathy, naturopathy, osteopathy, kaviraji, hakimi have all caught hold of Nature and subjected her to certain processes; each has its successes and failures. Let each do its own work in its own way. I do not see any need for fights and recriminations. For me all are only outward means and what really works are unseen forces behind; as they act, the outer means succeed or fail—if one can make the process a right channel for the right force, then the process gets its full utility—that's all.
October 3, 1936
K's X-ray was taken. The previous lesion of the lung is healed. But a new one has appeared. For treatment, three things are necessary:
1) She mustn't be always gloomy and depressed as she now seems to be.
What remedy for that? It's her attachament to X that is the root—so long as she clings to that! But it's quite true. Nothing more favour able to T.B. than this kind of depression.
2) She must take plenty of food. 3) Plenty of fresh air also.
Quite agree all points.
And cod-liver oil?
If she can stand it, yes.
Don't know really what to do with S. Mother finds him quite healthy while he has 99° fever, pain in the abdomen, 4 or 5 motions a day!
Not nowadays!
I see no go except Santonin.
Heavens! Another?
Shivalingam has pain again! Given up the idea of injections hearing that "he is solid".
Solidity was not stated as an objection.
M still passes 2 or 3 drops of blood in the urine. Feels a stone blocking the passage somewhere. I'm not quite sure whether it is a stone or a stricture from previous infections.
Well! Preliminary medical examination very necessary for admission.39
October 5, 1936
M's urine was examined—contains pus; detailed report tomorrow. Now giving urotropine etc.
Those are the hieroglyphics on the Valle paper? They are not Greek to me, but Amharic.
He had also syphilis! I consulted Valle, he advised serum injection...
Christ! And yet you attribute the sufferings of these people to the Supramental Force!
By the way, what is happening, pray? Supramental descending? P is going fut. Some passing blood, some vomiting blood, another died devoid of blood!
It appears that P has recognised that his Purushottamhood was indeed all fut! He says he felt some evil forces making him do and say these things, but he was so helpless that he was forced to obey them! That is a fall from Purushottama heights, but a return to sanity, if only temporary—(but let's hope it will increase). For that is evidently what happened.
All thought that he was doing serious sadhana.
Serious? You mean not to sleep and all that sort of thing? Well, it is just that kind of seriousness which brings these attacks—Earnestness of this sort does call down that kind of Purushottama or rather call him in—for it is a horizontal not a vertical descent.
Purushottama descended in consequence of the earnest sadhana and hence he was calling Sri Aurobindo to come and bow to him! What next?
Next? Perhaps he will want you also to come and bow to him and pummel you if you don't.
Makes me shake to the bones!
Only the bones?
Already I am feeling awfully pulled down, on top of that M40 sits; and the Purushottama crowns them all. I ask myself—whither, whither are you going, my friend, and what awaits you?
Perhaps the Paratpara Purusha beyond even the Purushottama.
But why this pulled downness? You are not pulling down Purushottama or any other gentleman from the upper storey, are you? It is strain and want of rest, I suppose. Sleep, sleep! read Mark Twain or write humorous stories. Then you will be quite chirpy and even M won't feel heavy to you.
October 6, 1936
After M recovers, don't you think he had better go to Madras for a thorough check-up?
... We must know whether it is stone or tumour in the kidney or bladder—a thorough investigation is necessary. If you think that your Force will cure or R's treatment, then it is all right.
Can't say without being sure what it is.
Regarding D.L.—R says he hadn't had her confidence from the beginning. Is that why you said that conditions were not favourable for working through R?
He had the contrary—a strong anger, distrust and antipathy. But that was only one part of it.
I am also rather eager to know what else was the trouble due to, if not physical, unless of course it is private.
It is private, at present at least. Mother says it is an affair between her and D.L.
You write—"... for me all are only outward means, and what really works are unseen forces..." [3.10.36]. Could you amplify it a little further? And also explain how one can make oneself a right channel for the right Force, Faith, Intuition?
Sir, do you think I have time for your interesting questions? I have had three nights' work to do in a single night—and in that my table lamp gone. In other perhaps fre-a-er off times.
J's poem held back.
October 7, 1936
Wretched, absolutely done for. Feel like jumping into the sea, Or hanging myself from a tree!
Why? Disburden yourself!
October 8, 1936
Disburden? You mean throw off the burden or place the burden at your door?
Both!
Please give me some Force for writing. But I wonder if you have time for circulating it.
Not as much as is necessary.
The atmosphere seems to be thick with doubt etc. A lull over the Asram.
Panic seems to be the order of the day as well as doubt.
Storm brewing?
The storm seems to have brewed. I am fighting it at present, having been obliged to give up my Abyssinian campaign and stop the march to Gore. However!
I have seen your letters to P.S. and Y. Comparing the latter's with mine—the one you wrote after S's death [25.3.35], I find that there is a lot of difference between them. Your views have changed immensely. In the letter to me, there was a very high optimistic, almost a certain tone about the conquest of death. Now it appears that you no longer hold that view, and say that death is possible because of the lack of solid mass of faith. It has to be conquered by Sadhana!
In what does this change of views consist? Did I say that nobody could die in the Asram? If so, I must have been intoxicated or passing through a temporary aberration.
As for the conquest of death, it is only one of the sequelae of supramentalisation—and I am not aware that I have forsworn my views about the supramental descent. But I never said or thought that the supramental descent would automatically make everybody immortal. The supramental descent can only make the best conditions for anybody who can open to it then or thereafter attaining to the supramental consciousness and its consequences. But it would not dispense with the necessity of sadhana. If it did, the logical consequence would be that the whole earth, men, dogs, and worms, would suddenly wake up to find themselves supramental. There would be no need of an Asram or of Yoga.
But my letters to Y and P had nothing to do with the conquest of death—they had to do with the conditions of the sadhana in the Asram. Surely I never wrote that death and illness could not happen in the Asram which was the point Y was refuting and on which I confirmed him.
A solid mass of faith? Surely that is a very heavy Himalayan condition you impose. For instance, do you expect old tottering N to have that solid mass in his liquid body?
N was not old and tottering when he came and if he had kept the living faith he would not have been tottering now.
Or do you either hope that by his sadhana he will have the conquest?
That depends on whether he is still alive and not quite liquified and able to open physically when the conditions change.
By that letter you have struck terror into many hearts, I am afraid, and henceforth we shall look upon death as quite a possibility, though not as common as it is outside.
The terror was there before. It came with the death of D.L. and the madness of P and not as the result of my letter. It was rushing at the Mother from most of the sadhaks at Pranam every day.
The physical condition of many sadhaks and sadhikas, is not cheering in the least—
Far from it.
You know best about the condition of their sadhana.
Very shaky, many of them.
However, it is my impression that you have changed your front.
It is not mine.
Formerly I thought you said—faith or no faith, sadhana or no sadhana, you were conquering death, disease, i.e. everything depended on your success; now it seems a lot depends on us poor folks, in this vital matter.
[Sri Aurobindo underlined "this vital matter".]
Why vital? What is vital is the supramental change of consciousness—conquest of death, is something minor and, as I have always said, the last physical result of it, not the first result of all or the most important—a thing to be added to complete the whole, not the one thing needed and essential. To put it first is to reverse all spiritual values—it would mean that the seeker was actuated, not by any high spiritual aim but by a vital clinging to life or a selfish and timid seeking for the security of the body—such a spirit could not bring the supramental change.
Certainly, everything depends on my success. The only thing that could prevent it, so far as I can see, would be my own death or the Mother's—But did you imagine that that success would mean the cessation of death on the planet, and that sadhana would cease to be necessary for anybody?
If increase of numbers stands in the way, if doctors and medicines shake the faith, well, it is very easy to solve the problem, isn't it?
Increase of numbers brought in all sorts of influences that were not there in the smaller circle before. Doctors did not matter so long as faith was the main thing and a little treatment the help—But when faith went, illness increased and the doctor became not merely useful but indispensable. There was also the third cause, the descent of the sadhana into the physical consciousness with all its doubt, obscurity and resistance. To eliminate all that is no longer possible.
We have also an impression, considering the sudden wave of diseases, that it is due to some Force descending, so that wherever there is resistance there will be a rushing up.
What Force?
Since the action is to go on in the subconscient physical at present with the Supramental descending (hail Supra-mental!!), all sorts of physical troubles will be rampant now.
Rubbish! You repeat always this imbecile absurdity that the Supramental is descending into the sadhaks—as P thought it had descended into him! The sadhaks are miles away from the supra-mental. What I spoke of was not the descent of the Supramental into the sadhaks but into the earth-consciousness. If the Supra-mental had descended into the sadhaks, there would not be all sorts of troubles, but all sorts of helps and progress.
But you seem to sneer at the supposition and say things will happen that way if sadhaks believe like that.
Yes, certainly.
I find that everything seems to happen here ensemble: a general wave of doubt, depression, going away, etc.
Yes, general in the sense of many undergoing it—not all. There has been no time when everybody was depressed, everybody doubting, everybody taking the train homewards.
The rosy side also may be true—as you said a general stillness was felt.
In the atmosphere, it may be so. But what has that to do with the Supramental descent?
I asked M to start tomorrow for Madras. He says he has to go to Calcutta—written there and is waiting for a reply...
He is talking of starting on Sunday.
About S, the "coldish" feeling was absent. A lot of sweating at night, fever in the afternoon-99.8°.
He has been sleeping with J who has developed occult terrors since P's outbreak and contracting the terror himself and had [...]41 etc. of a bloodcurdling character. We must allow for S's vivid literary style. But I send you the document as you are in medical charge.
[A note from the Mother in the morning:]
9-10-36
Nirod
T is anxious about her health and wishes to be radiographed. Will you take her to the hospital for the purpose?
[Evening]
Got your note [regarding T], just a little too late! Now I am afraid we have to wait till Monday. But X-ray of what? Lungs? What symptoms? They will ask me. A recent victim of doubt?
Not lungs—she has never had any difficulty there. Stomach,—she will indicate the place. She has had violent pains there off and on for periods ever since the Flood. She had them I believe in Hyderabad. There is a history of medical means to stimulate the action of some gland to produce thinness and by God, it seems to have been successful—for thin she has been ever since. I don't know if this had anything to do with it. Confidential informations, sir.
Doubt can't be said to be recent—she has had it in big black doses every time she had a vital fit which was almost always, but there was always a sort of faith behind. Latterly the psychic part has been growing and the fits less bad and rarer and shorter; but the general disturbance in the Asram due to D.L.-P upset her and her stomach and produced a passionate thirst for keen radiographic knowledge. This is confidential also.
Mother tells me she is vacillating in her preference between ulcer, worms and cancer! But hush! don't let her know I told you.
[The following 3 reports were written by Dr. Becharlal.] For getting sleep, X should be quite free from mental worries—complete mental rest is necessary.
That she simply can't do—unless when she is in a good inner condition. Of course it is the right thing if she can do it.
A cup of hot milk at bed-time. Hot bath or hot foot-bath with mustard oil massage; evening walk etc...
All these are very good; you must choose one that she will accept.
If my Mother approves to give her any other medical treatment, I propose to give her Hingwastak Churna, acid hydrochloride dil., etc...
Mother quite approves of all that. I have said that you will give her treatment and asked her to take it. So you can see to it.
October 9, 1936
L got hurt in the finger—a barrel fell on it day before yesterday!... Don't you encourage immediate treatment for these things?
These things ought to be treated at once—but these women always hold back and don't want to go.
[The following 3 reports were written by Dr. Becharlal.] T passed blood in the urine... I pray my Mother, to grant Nirod and myself general sanction to treat T with every change of drug etc. and see the case.
You can certainly have full sanction to treat according to discretion and do all that is needful.
T says he needs 2 attendants: one in the daytime, and one at night. He proposes A and M.
I don't think either A or M can keep up at night. I suppose in daytime M can come. For the night you might enquire if anyone can come—it must be someone who will have time to rest in the day.
As for the medical treatment, T leaves it for Mother to decide whether he should take medicines from the dispensary.
To what is the blood due? As for the treatment you will advise what is to be done.
October 10, 1936
From your answer I couldn't very well make out whether I should go and see T, but I went once in the morning.
Yes, that was included in "all that was needful".
What strikes me is that T is so terribly afraid, goodness knows why. I am dumbfounded to see him so! I had always a great admiration for the fellow's bravery. D.L. has unmanned his manliness?
He was a very courageous man. Of course, even courageous men are not always courageous at every point and perhaps he was always robust and healthy so never tested at this point. But what I see is that it is part of the terror that has fallen on many others and has manifested in him in spite of his natural temperament because he absorbed something from D.L. during her illness—something that was the cause both of his malady and of his fear. Mysterious? Well, these occult things always are.
I feel somehow that you don't want me to attend to the case. Anyway Dr. Becharlal comes and tells me and we consult things.
Whatever is "needful".
5 p.m. Dr. B reports that T is better. By the way, the fear in T has to be executed mercilessly by your letters and advice.
Umph! He wanted his brother to come and receive his last will and testament. I told him I saw no pressing need for troubling the brother.
Since no poetry is on the horizon, what about my trying to write some prose, say, stories? Give me some Force please, in that direction, if you see any possibility.
As an experiment? All right.
I hope my defective style won't come in as a hostile force, against future poetic development.
I suppose it won't.
I forward you two pages of a letter from M. Will you and Becharlal at once find somebody to replace M in the attendance on T? M is evidently not meant to be there. I don't want him to see the ghost and the condition of his head is a thing I don't like. Mother was thinking you might consult the Surgeon again to know if any precautionary measures were necessary. Anyhow please keep an eye on his head—for these accidents often produce their subtler results long after.
Sri Aurobindo
October 11, 1936
You wrote to A.K. that "there is an increasing pressure now for sadhaks who really intend to do sadhana, to stop feeling, living, acting according to the ordinary nature." I don't know if your "pressure" includes in its action my precious self. If it does, I would be glad; if it doesn't, I would pray to be included. Even if I don't feel the pressure, it matters little; let it act surreptitiously and my nature break, what?
The pressure is general, but necessarily it is felt or received without feeling it in accordance with the readiness of the sadhak. It includes everybody who can be included and aims at drawing in those who can't.
Is it possible to sanction some tea? I am rather ashamed as almost immediately after intending to do sadhana, I want to live according to "ordinary nature".
You can ask Champaklal, Mother is giving a chit.
As you know the stomach remains at the level of the umbilicus, but, in T's case, it has descended into the pelvis and is sitting snugly there. It is called ptosis or atony of the stomach. As for the cause and treatment, we have to get the proper history...
Can it have anything to do with the fact that she was fat in Hyderabad, took a medicine for becoming thin and did become suddenly from fat very thin?
S says—"I have no hunger", but when pressed he says, "Yes, I like food better now." There is S!
He says the Mother has entered his stomach and is occupying it!! I say, confidential you know! Such secrets are precious.
M's vomiting etc. is not a new thing, it was his companion long before the accident. I shall study his case, then take him to the Surgeon. So why are you worried, Sir?
Because it is accompanied by the ghost.
One thing—P says A is getting back his old ill health and "fears" a relapse—but A is not likely to acknowledge. Attributes it to T-strain and T-strain to D.L. gap. Rather clever? If you get a chance to send A without letting him know the indiscretion—P recommends rest—he is probably right.
Goodness knows what inspired you to pick up such a blessed place for your Asram! A most hopeless hospital with hardly any facilities! A heaven indeed for a Supramental colony! About M, we are wavering between cystitis and nephritis—which could have been settled in a second, in a well-equipped hospital.
Had no medical standards in view when I came to Pondicherry—nor any views about establishing an Asram. A supramental colony obviously ought to have a first-class hospital, but no such colony was then intended.
October 12, 1936
My eyes, was T ever fat? And from fatness she has come to this!
It was one of those newfangled glandular explosives. Based on the idea that some gland (Thyroid, no?) growing hyperactive makes thin (and apparently keeps you so in spite of eating well—T's case). There is another which keeps you fat even if you eat only once a day (Suvrata's case).
I couldn't make out one word in your long letter [9.10.36] about T. Is it "Menses"?
Nonsense, sir! The same thing—thinness.
Have you said anything to T? She was alarmed by the silence of the doctors, so the Mother told her, indicating that it was not dangerous, only certain precautions against trouble etc. If you speak, don't be vivid and alarm her.
You have not said anything about remedies. French Medical Dictionary says "lie down one hour after meals" (Mother had recommended that long ago)—Some contrivance for support of the viscera (rather bandaging in this climate)—abdominal exercise for strengthening walls (parois) so as to support viscera, But if person thin, then "cure de lit" and fattening before any remedial course. T would kick at "cure de lit" I am afraid.
X says her right arm fails her often and becomes dead and useless for work. Would not massaging (perhaps with some effective ointment) be necessary?
October 13, 1936
I didn't imagine death would cease on the planet by your Supramental descent, or that sadhana would be unnecessary. When did I say that the Supermind is descending into the sadhaks?[9.10.36]
It is implied if they are to get the conquest of death by the mere descent.
What I said or meant was that you have conquered death or gained a great mastery over it...
In what sense?
You had said that it is the Overmental Force that has been acting and has been effective enough to ward of death, except in two cases—and they were not sadhaks. Well, it doesn't mean that it has the infallible victory, but it amounts to that, doesn't it?
How is that? Holding off an enemy and infallible victory are not the same thing.
Once the Supermind descends into you or into the earth-consciousness, the question of faith or sadhana becomes irrelevant as regards death, for death is a Force and, when you have a control or conquest over it, it means that its supremacy is lost in this part of the world, whether I have faith or not, do sadhana or not.
Good Lord, man. What is this reasoning? Everything is a force—why should the supramental descent into me or earth assure complete and universal immediate conquest of this Force only or specially among so many?
... Even if one does sadhana, illness may come and snatch one away: then one's chance of doing sadhana for the change of consciousness, and, if possible, supramentalisation is lost. I consider it a vital matter—not immortality—to be able to do that.
Well but that is simply warding off death. Perhaps the supramental will do that—(it can, if it wants)—but not for ever. I mean if a man wants 200 years to supramentalise himself, it can't be promised that he will be kept alive till then.
If you say that so long as one is not supramentalised, death is a possibility, then I have no grounds left except to do sadhana in a spirit of surrender... I don't see then how faith can help one to avert death.
Faith does help and has helped. It is a fact.
You have also said that to prevent death sadhana is necessary.
To make the control of death absolute, not provisional and relative.
What I plainly ask is whether by your supramentalisation death would be impossible in the Asram, independent of our sadhana.
Not in the sense that anybody can seek refuge in the supramentalised Asram against death and sit comfortably there without any intention of doing sadhana.
... The Supramental Force can create the best conditions which the Divine Force can't?
... But surely the action of the Supramental Force would be different from that of the Divine Force.
... or would they be fundamentally the same, only different at points?
No.
No time to expatiate or divagate.
What's this typescript? Extremely private matter, sir, for nobody perusal except the body addressed. I keep it for want of time.
If two oranges per day are not possible, can pamplemousse juice be given to T, as long as he is on liquid diet?
[Mother:] Champaklal will give you two oranges daily for T.
S's stomach is no more "gloomy"—bright and cheerful today. I am tempted to dance in glee. Is it the Force or Pancrinol, or both?
You forget that the Mother occupied it. What's this Pancrinol? All-hair?42 All-what? or has it to do with the Pancreas?
What the French Dictionary says is exactly the right treatment for T. Abdominal support would be very uncomfortable, as you say. If we can persuade her to "cure de lit" in the beginning, we can see later on.
I doubt her attitude to the cure de lit, but it is not likely to be enthusiastic. For the support she is willing. Mother wants you to make a sketch showing the places, measurements to be entered and the whole sent to the Bombay firm (address will be given) asking them if they can provide. What do you say?
In your letter of yesterday, on the "glandular explosives", what's this, Sir—"Based on the idea that some gland (They—?)"? What a pity really, if one has to sacrifice even a single word!
It is (Thyroid—no?) to be taken as a parenthetical question after "gland".
A is bleeding from piles. It has to be stopped. V seems to be very enthusiastic over him!
What's that? Enthusiastic over his bleeding? V's enthusings are generally catastrophic to the enthused over.
October 14, 1936
You have kept that type-script? I am finished then! I know it will have the same fate as the previous one [on Avatar-hood, 6.3.35]! However, I send the book in the off-chance of an expatiation or a divagation.
[Sri Aurobindo filled the gap I had left, with "expatiation".]
None, none, none! I prefer to excavate instead.
By the way, after a long time I enjoyed two or three days' true Nirodian, i.e. unyogic, jollity; but the yogic Nirodian gloom has restarted! Goodness knows why these glooms and blooms come and go!
Goodness doesn't know why, nor does anybody else.
You have finished the prospective action of the Supramental Force by two "yes"s and one "no" [14.10.36]. Evidently you are shy about it, or time is shy?
Time and I both are shy, good reason why.
(Nishikanta says rhyme is quite common in Bengali prose, so why not in English also?)
I am afraid I don't know about the practical aspect of the abdominal support for T. I have to consult books if they've given anything. Meanwhile she can surely lie on her right side for some time, if not "cure de lit".
That of course. you told her about the "right side". Mother gave only a general prescription for lying down for an hour or more if necessary after meals.
October 15, 1936
T is better; not yet started milk. There is still considerable albumin in the urine (albuminorrhea).
When there is albuminorrhea then is it considered safe to give salted food? On the other hand he seems to be asking for more food than the Doctors are prepared to give him.
October 16, 1936
T's case—Salt is usually withheld when there is oedema or puffiness anywhere. Since there is neither, and the kidney is functioning well, we thought we could give it in a small quantity... Any food given him should have carbohydrates—fluids—till the albumin is reduced to a minimum... We can safely allow him to consume his surplus fat a couple of days more. No other go—unless you find something.
No. I find nothing—go ahead and minimise the albumin.
For U's lipoma, Vijayanand suggested to try a mild mercury ointment. He claims to have cured a goitre by it. Glandular swellings do, at times, respond to mercury, especially if syphilitic. On lipoma, I don't know. But it may irritate. Opinion?
It is for doctors to decide. The only question is whether any harm is possible by its use. As it is, the lipoma is, I believe, harmless though not ornamental. Mercury being irritant is it likely to make it less benign if there is failure? If not—well.
7.30 p.m.
M came in just now and said about her boil-medicine, "Mixture very bitter, may I take pān after it?" I said, "You may." Now I hear she is telling people that I've advised her to take pān. Ladies in the Asram are really wonderful!!
My dear sir, such ladies are quite wonderful outside the Asram also. M didn't need to come here to be marvellous in that way.
Reading about T, S, etc., confirms my disgust. You have made fine specimens of them.
Were they all reasonable and consistent in their former life?
You have made them believe that medicines and doctors are no good, but at the same time could not infuse into them sufficient faith in you. Result—they have fallen between two stools!
Well, T and S used both to get cured without need of medicines once on a time. The later development has evidently come for your advantage, so that you may have elementary exercises in samata.43 I have had a lot of schooling in that way and graduated M.A. Your turn now.
They come to the doctors only to be disgusted with the treatment; obviously they come without any faith...
If you had treated them in the pre-Asram period, do you think their comments if not at once cured would have been more filled with a holy awe and submission to the doctors?
Really, they are so touchy, so funny! The more one sees, the more one wants to see! Perhaps you will say—"Judge not lest ye be judged!"
Exactly—for these are poor little uneducated people. But are the big brains at bottom less unreasonable and inconsistent? All alike, sir, in one way or another. Man who is a reasoning animal no doubt, but not a reasonable one.
October 17, 1936
I am sending you an excerpt from a medical book regarding the abdominal support for T. An abdominal support should fit closely to the symphisis pubis and Poupart's ligaments below; above, it should not extend higher than the umbilicus...
In the French dictionary they speak of a special thing for this ptosis of the stomach, in French of course. These things seem rather unconvincing. And if it is to fit closely to certain Latin things as well as to Poupart's affairs, how can it be done without measuring?
T's temperature shot up suddenly to 103.4°, and has remained so. Don't know why. Maybe constipation.
? Merely with constipation this persistence of high fever?
His urinary symptoms are better.
How far? and in what way? No pain? no albumen or very little?
Y says he felt a descent of Power producing an indescribable sensation in the head, and followed by numbness of the extremities, feeling like nausea, throbbing in the head, giddiness, etc. All these symptoms point towards a high blood-pressure which, he says, is normal... Can descent produce such a havoc?
A descent cannot possibly produce nausea and vomiting etc. There can, if one pulls down too much force, be produced a headache or giddiness; both of these go if one keeps quiet a little, ceases pulling and assimilates. A descent cannot produce blood pressure, madness or apoplexy or heart failure or any other illness.
What I gather from Y's letter and D's is that he felt great intensity of descent (much greater than he had before) and got into a panic (because of the indescribable sensation) and thought he might be going mad like P (P's madness was not the result of a descent), so nervous that he upset his stomach and possibly his circulation also. That is the only possible explanation if it is not an attack of illness on which it is for the doctors to pronounce, not me.
October 18, 1936
[The first report was written by Dr. Becharlal.] L came to the Dispensary and said she had fever, cough, cold for the last three days. She refused to take anything internally, without Mother's permission.
She has full permission to take any medicine or treatment you think necessary.
About U's lipoma—we don't see the rationale of the treatment by mercury, so don't know its effectiveness. We can try it in small quantities.
If it grows it will have to be cut. As to this treatment, well, I don' know—
For T's support—I don't know whether the equipment will fit her thin structure. Even then the adjustable ones may do.
Can't she measure herself, if she is shown the designs?
S is better now. All Pancrinol exhausted. Shall we buy more or wait and see?
"Wait and see" is always a very good formula.
Y's trouble is much less, still a sort of nondescript sensation is there.
What the deuce is this nondescript? How is it he can't describe it? There are sensations that are due to descent and not troublesome or dangerous at all, there are others that are physical. But the description is necessary in order to distinguish.
He says he can't read or write. Lies down quietly for a time, but all on a sudden the thing descends and produces the sensation. Fears if something may happen at night.
The difficulty is that he has got the fear and the association in his mind of the descent with the disturbance.
You wrote to him at the end: "... before there can be a resumption of the sadhana." Does it mean he should not go to pranam or meditation?
I meant by sadhana the positive side (descent etc.). What I indicated was that there was a part of the being which was afraid of the descent, didn't want it and by its fear got this trouble. This must be found out and put right before calling any descent again.
I wasn't thinking of pranam and meditation—he can go there; if he finds it all right to go, he can continue.
He had no vomiting, only nausea. [Sri Aurobindo underlined "nausea".]
Well, that's a physical ailment, not a Yogic phenomenon. Can't it be got rid of? Whatever the cause, there is evidently disturbance of the stomach.
From your replies I presume that it may have been the descent, but since he got into a panic, he got these nervous troubles. Or was it the result of pulling?
That seems most probable unless there was an illness already breeding there (digestion, circulation?). But you say you found none.
Y showed me a letter of yours where you have said that it is not due to pulling; it is the right tapasya. And he has been following the same practice since then and has now a control. It can't be the effect of a dark Force.
Not through the descent, but through the fear a dark Force might strike in. That is what it is trying with many people.
If illness rises up by the descent of Force or a hereditary taint of madness manifested later on, it would be a very bad affair.
Illness does not rise up by the decent of the Force; nor hereditary taint nor madness. They come up of themselves, as in D.S.'s case who never had even the smallest grain of a descent or a Force anywhere. It is only after he went off his centre that we are putting Force (not as a descent, but as an agent) to keep him as straight and as sound as possible.
In this case, though the descent wouldn't be the cause of these troubles, would it not indirectly flare up a latent focus?
No. I never found it doing that.
And in such an experience as Y's, some amount of fear is inevitable, isn't it?
What experience? Descent? Sensation in the head? Plenty of people have had that here and elsewhere but no one got into a panic or nervous upset.
N told me that Mother didn't approve of Y's staying at D's place...
Up to that, it is correct.
...because adverse forces may act on D also and harm him.
This must be N's own interpretation. The Mother said nothing to that effect. D had already got into a depression by J's visit, next Y's upset, finally something else and was preparing to head for Cape Comorin—so naturally Mother didn't want visible food for that to be supplied him. She said nothing of all that to N.
Do you go by the description of one's experience to decide whether it was an experience or the action of a dark force or the recrudescence of an illness?
Yes, certainly—just as you go by the symptoms of a case as seen by you and as related by the patient.
I thought that it is not possible for us to have spiritual experiences, especially major ones, without your previously knowing that so and so will have such and such experiences.
Previously? My God, we would have to spend all our time prevising the sadhaks' experiences. Do you think Mother has nothing else to do? As for myself, I never previse anything, I only vise and revise. All that Mother prevised was that there was something not right in Y, some part of him at odds with his aspiration. That might lead to trouble. That is why, entre nous, I want him to find out what part of him didn't want the descent.
October 19, 1936
S is much better in the morning nowadays, but troublesome in the afternoon. Getting cured by halves?
Let us hope so. Half by half is better than nothing.
T has given measurements, but wouldn't it be better to enquire first from the Company if they have any supports for this trouble? If not, whether they can prepare according to measurements given. All this will take some time, but it is not very urgent, is it?
No. You are right, of course.
Dr. Sircar has a touch of cold! Please save me; no more patients, especially big and bulky ones!
Well, well, prevent the cold from becoming bulky.
Y is all right except for a tense feeling on the left side of the neck.
[Sri Aurobindo underlined "tense feeling on the left side of the neck".]
Not physical? Circulation?
M has been troubled by D.L.'s "ghost". He told me he had a dream and heard a voice calling him and clasping him—voice unerringly of D.L.
Sorry, have to postpone M's ghostly troubles till tonight. Terrible night the last! (No, no—wasn't attacked by a pseudo-D.L., only by the demon of correspondence.) Have written, trying to cheer him up in the meanwhile.
Today his trouble began again. Any link?
Well, you said, did you not, that this headache was of long standing? If so, the link with D.L. must be later—or only a mental association.
Why should he have these dreams connected with D.L.?
Many people have been seeing or dreaming of the ghost of D.L.
I asked M to get rid of his fear. He has no hereditary taint of insanity. But seeing D.S.'s off-centre, is it possible?
Don't know if there was any insanity in the family. D.S. is only insane at one point which can be touched at any time. But apart from that he is though narrow and extreme in all things, yet intellectually brilliant, an admirable linguist, reasoning and seeing with extraordinary acuteness and clearness when he chooses. He is more "intimate" with French than any Indian here—understands the spirit of the language, reproduces it in his writing. A clear and accurate observer too.
Why has D.L. such a special fascination for him, in coming to call him? Is it really possible that some part of D.L. is, after all, hovering over the Asram and trying to create some mental, vital or nervous havoc? Or some other force taking D.L.'s shape or voice trying to push in?
D.L. does not call him; it is not she at all. When she got ill something possessed her body and physical consciousness and turned everything against her recovery. When she died the Mother separated this from her—but still there was a strong earthly attachment left in her vital form—attachment to husband, food, comfort, relatives etc., etc. This part threatened to become a "ghost", and Mother had to work hard to get rid of it. But it went and there is no ghost, that is no vital stuff walking about as a separate entity with the soul gone out of it. But the suggestion was left in the Asram atmosphere and some Force has got hold of it making all sorts of dreams and fears in the minds of those who admit them. But I think that too is fading out gradually. Sorry to inflict all this occultism on you...
I somewhat understand M's involvement. You know he had an experience: hurried loud breathing, semi-conscious condition, etc., with one hand on D.L.'s abdomen, as if some Force had descended and possessed him. We looked admiringly at him and thought the Mother was working through him; unfortunately the fellow took it all wrong, as your letter showed.
M's disturbance was due to his wrong movement at the time of D's [D.L.'s] death. He had a propensity to become a big Yogi and a mighty instrument. At the time I was putting and so was the Mother a stupendous force to give D a last chance. M was trying to pull. Perhaps he felt and was shaken by the Force which was not intended for him at all—because he pulled it. He pretended to himself that he was doing it in an egoless fashion. Rubbish! Self-deception! He was delighted at being so great an instrument and at the admiration of others. I had to interfere because like that he might pull some wrong force on himself. It may be even that he did get something, not much I think, of the other dark Force that was there. This prepared the field for undesirable suggestions. My letter also bowled him over—but that was unavoidable. I suppose it will be all right, but for a moment he was shaky.
October 20, 1936
Jatin has sent snaps for your signature. Will you give it?
Yesterday's feeling I can't locate—probably in the abdominal cavity. Today again something happened—but not any fear. It was an ingoing, perhaps, for I came out just as a fish comes out of water, with a sigh (?) or for taking air?
Don't quite understand. Yesterday you wrote that there was no fear, but a feeling that something unpleasant might happen and you must get over it again. But if it was like a fish in water, that could not be unpleasant.
Your present description would be a going inside of the vital (abdominal cavity) into its deeper self, perhaps in search of the psychic which lies behind. If so, very useful movement.
There was no drowsiness—understandable?
[Sri Aurobindo underlined the word "drowsiness", which was written rather badly.]
Your writing is sometimes no more understandable than mine. It took me some time to understand whether this word was Bengali, Sanskrit or English with a mixture. But I suppose it is drowsiness?
Y has gone, but I understand, he wants to come back—to be fitted into his old place?
God knows. You must know that when he came back last time, he was only tolerated on trial owing to his own urgent insistence. Next time—well! He will have to be considerably changed before we say Yes.
He asked our opinion about his going to Calcutta for treatment. I said, "Why not ask Mother?" He replied, "I haven't that much confidence in Sri Aurobindo and Mother, to tell you frankly." That shows where the root of the trouble was. Was it deeper still?
According to what Mother was seeing all along, it was deeper still. A certain falsehood in his being which he refused to recognise, but kept cherished under a veil of justifying reasons, not intending to change. He never really recognised that he had been wrong at any time. Yet it was treachery to the Mother—with what she calls a strain of hypocrisy in it.
But then he was crying also because he had to go. Queer, isn't it?
No, not queer. Very usual. A divided being. One black, one wanting to be white.
I saw your letter to him... You were almost suspecting there was some twist in his nature.
More than suspicion—a knowledge.
What could have been the cause of such a havoc? Vital desires? Attachments?
He had these; but that was not the chief difficulty.
Or was it lack of confidence and faith in the Mother?
There was that, of course—but lack of faith was not enough to produce such an upsetting. It was something in opposition and hiding itself, that got terrified when it saw its companion pulling down the Force. For after all he did pull. Mother felt him doing it even last time he came to Pranam.
I am afraid all of us have these things, to some degree. I am a little shaken because of your hint at the resistance or the lower nature's unwillingness to change, for who hasn't that?
That was a euphemism, as I wanted him to look at and acknowledge to himself (acknowledging to us would not be enough, as he might do it "with the end of his lips" only) and get rid of it.
Mere unwillingness to change is not enough. Everybody has that in part of his being—if it were enough to produce disaster, nobody could do Yoga.
Some light on M's report of yesterday, please.
Obliged to postpone it again.
October 21, 1936
I had a dream last night: the Mother had become a little girl and was talking to a boy of her age, before a vast gathering. There was something very unusual about her. We were wondering whether it was really the Mother. How had she turned so young? and to this little girl we made pranam! What significance?
It was in the vital world, I suppose; there anything may happen. Can't say that I catch any symbolic significance in it. Perhaps your vital was trying to find a ground for বাৎসল্য ভাব.44
Had a dream of a death also in the Asram...
Well, if you go on dreaming like that!
What B.P. is doing is, you know, something criminal... Why not buy him a ticket?
Evidently! We have already tried to chuck him once, but failed,—because he had nowhere to go. I will have a try again, even if we have to buy him a ticket for Nowhere.
I don't know why the boy D and his mother are here. Do you really think that they will be doing Yoga any day? If not, why this encumbrance?
Quite right, sir,—perspicaciously right. The original idea was that they would live separately—M.G. only being a sadhika, but as usual once people are anywhere near they push in.
Your Force is acting, Sir, and many pots will break. Am I one, I wonder!
Need not be. Hope you have no inclinations that way.
Can you not give one or two concrete instances of falsehood and treachery of Y, that called in this catastrophe, simultaneously with the descent?
Concrete instances came before. It was he who indoctrinated M to leave the Asram and go back to her husband and gave her the suggestions of how to justify herself etc. The story is too long. But it was what I referred to as the reason why Mother did not permit him to come,—finally he came without permission. I hear he once encouraged D in his depression to go away from here. All that had not changed—he pretended under the pressure of D, S to repent, but in reality he always considered that he had done no wrong. This part of him was so false that it erected its falsehood into right. The Mother spoke always of his hypocrisy. See, he told D "There is no love lost between myself and Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, but I am sincere in my Yoga." That means he was seeking after something not connected with us. Yet he wrote that when the Force came down which was at will, he felt the Mother's presence in him and was happy. All that is what the Mother speaks of as hypocrisy. Then when the Force threatened to come in earnest, this part of him got terrified and shaken—for it had rejected the Mother's protection and did not want her Force at all, but something that it could appropriate. It felt that it was "something not himself", and got into a panic. There does not seem to have been any illness, for you would have found some sign. Coming Madness? I doubt. He was in clear possession of his wits. Then fear only. As soon as he knew he was going away, the fear went, this part became exultant and all went away. It seems to me on the data that this interpretation is the only possible one.
Please see if you can be "obliged" to reflect on M's condition. Then I shall write my St. Augustine's confessions!
Have written.
October 22, 1936
What? You are "sorry to inflict all this occultism" on me? [20.10.36] Please, try to percolate a little more of it through the thick sieve of your correspondence. I lost all hope, you know, and was depressed, dejected and downcast. It is so very interesting—this occultism!
All right. I can flood you when I have time and occasion.
I am preparing my confession! Perhaps tomorrow!
Very good. Shall await the revelation.
L seems to be damnably constipated
Has been for years except for a brief period when R treated her, but before he had finished his treatment she got proud and said only the Force was good enough for her and stopped with a kick for him. After some time of halcyon openness of the bowels the whole thing came back. She complains of sleeplessness last three nights.
October 23, 1936
S all right or jogging along?
I should like to know about K. I have been given secret information (how far reliable, I don't know) that she is vomiting blood but concealing it from the Doctors to avoid being sent away, also that she has dhatukshay which the Guj. dictionary translates as continuous gleet. What according to your knowledge is the state of things about her?
October 24, 1936
...S's pain must be stopped. Fever is there but not so bad.
What, a painful fellow!
May we get Pancrinol for him?
Very well.
K denies all symptoms: no cough, no bleeding, no fever. P says she is better; there is no more bleeding, cough is also intermittent. Has anybody seen the bleeding? But gleet one can't see!
Confidentially I may say it was P who wrote—she says K herself told her and of the rest she has seen evidence and was troubled about possible contamination. Of course P like others and like K herself, is a liar, but—
October 25, 1936
You wrote to me that we should drop the mixing together and cooking. How to drop the mixing, Sir?
I did not write "mixing"—I wrote "messing"—food, sir, food; eating in common, sort of psycho-gastric communion forming a spiritual culinary joy. If you want occultism, you shall have it with a vengeance.
If one has a double attachment, would it not be an insincerity?
It depends on the ideal. If it were a matter of the union of two lives, it would be an insincerity, a faithlessness. But for the vital? Its character is to change, sometimes to multiply, to run here and there. Unless of course it is caught, glued to a single attraction or passion for a long period or for a lifetime. But in such gluings it is generally one of the two that is entangled, the other skirmishes around dragging his living appendage or else leaving it half-glued, half-dropped.
All my problems would have been solved if you hadn't been sitting so tight on my notebook, Sir. All this psychology would have helped me in my story writing.
Sir, it is a melancholy subject I don't like to go into just now. I would rather tell you when you can look back with a retrospective interest, than inflict it on you now.
By the way, what do you say to my asking Dr. Sircar to teach me "The Life Divine"?
Fire away.
A complains of slight bleeding per rectum. Beginning of piles?
Irritation somewhere in the intestine? No signs of dysenteric tendency. Or a passing accident. He only mentioned having it twice.
We have advised some fresh air after work and is it possible to alternate his sedentary work with some activity?
That is what we have advised him—although diminishing his sedentary work may make other sedentary people more sedentary Don't know exactly how it is to be done, but it must be.
What about giving him some mixtures containing Soda sulph., Ammon. chlor., etc.?
You can give if A is willing to take.
Here is M's autobiography of headache and vomiting...
Queer history!
These days he is keeping well, it appears. Perhaps the "ghost" has been dissolved!
I hope so. I have done my best to that end.
October 26, 1936
What, Sir? No comment, not a line or a word or even a scratch!45 Felt heavy the whole day thinking of this mystery! Will you cast a look back?
No mystery. Simply a case of adhyaropa of Shankaric illusion. Made mental answers and thought they were there physically inscribed on your blank page.
You surprise me by the revelations of D.S. What a pity that all his brilliances should have met with such a destiny!
But look here, his brilliances came after his madness. Before that he was earnest, industrious, eager for knowledge, ambitious, but nothing more. I don't contend that his madness made him a genius, though it would agree with the immortal theory ,of Lombroso that genius is madness or at least always tied to abnormality and mental and physical unsoundness. It may have been the result of our constant pouring of force into him to keep his mind bright and coherent and clear.
His touchiness seems to have come from an inferiority complex, the cause of all his trouble.
Don't believe much in complexes.
I am not very cheerful about his prognosis. The isolation, complete suspension of speech are abnormal states.
Why complete? He was talking to Amal at least.
Some believe that he is not only all right but much better. Their judgment is based on the Mother's gracious smiles to him.
What queer logicians!
I doubt if he will ever take charge of the Dispensary.
Not likely.
Is his off-centre due to a possession?
A very partial one perhaps.
You have written about D.L. that something possessed her body. How? And did that something take her away against Mother's and your Force? How could you allow it to possess her before your very eyes, especially in her weak moment?
What's the row? If the mind and vital can be possessed, as happened to B and N and others, why can't the body? As for allowing it, sir, if people have an inner revolt, they take the risk and, if they refuse to give up the possession, or call it back when it goes, they have none but themselves to blame.
If you knew that that there was very little chance of saving her, what could be the meaning of sending a stupendous Force to her as a last resort?
Why not?
Did you even then hope that perhaps the scales might turn?
Of course, they might. It was a question of a battle of Forces.
Was that stupendous Force spoiled by the intervention of M?
Can't say.
I understand that she was very sincere in her work, faithful to the Mother.
At the end, she got disgusted with it, critical of the Mother, attached to husband, relatives, food, all earth-desires. It was that that made the difficulty of her soul's passage and the danger of the ghost. For it is these violent earth-attachments that keep the vital hovering about the place after death.
Another problem which puzzles me is that when you accepted her, did you think that she was likely to be cut off from the path?
Destiny is not an absolute, it is a relative. One can alter it for the better or the worse.
You say, "the suggestion was left in the Asram atmosphere." [20.10.36] Suggestion by whom? Sadhaks or that vital form?
The suggestion that came from what possessed her "I will remain as a ghost". The sadhaks simply received the ghost of the suggestion, and saw the ghost of a ghost.
Even a suggestion could be caught hold of by a Force? Where are we, eh?
What's the idea? Forces are always making suggestions—why can't they catch hold of one that is in the air and ease their labour?
Do you mean to say that the Force that Y was drawing at first, was not the Mother's Force, but something different which he could control?
Who said that? It was a higher Force at least, even if not taken from the Mother, but drawn down by himself. But it was coming in small doses and he played happily with it. When it threatened to come in earnest and a great mass, he got frightened.
And when the Mother's Force descended he got frightened feeling it "not itself" by these reactions? [22.10.36.]
"not himself", separate from himself.
L has general weakness... How to treat her inordinate constipation?
Don't know. R got it cured for a spell,—but she stopped his treatment. Surely there must be an allopathic way of curing her obstinacy?
I am sure if J's poems were published, it would be like Blake's state—a century later people would appreciate her...
What you predict is extremely probable—unless she writes here after something they can understand. Then they will say these were her mystic amusements by the way. A great poetess, but with a queer side to her.
October 27, 1936
Here is the photo of the two sisters J speaks of Aruna, one of them, seems to have written to you. Both of them are keen on Yoga.
From Aruna's letter I couldn't say that they know very much about what Yoga is!
They seem to be quite healthy soldieresses... We want healthy people, Sir, not marasmics or plethorics!
Health is needed but health is "not enough". Besides, trust not in appearances. Soldiers and soldieresses sometimes become pathological—nerves, shell-shock etc.
I woke up at 3 a.m. and tried to meditate. No sooner had I sat down than I felt a স্তব্ধতা46, and the atmosphere around was so quiet that I felt or imagined some presences there. I thought—if at this hour some of these presences catch me, what shall I do? I got very frightened. Were there any presences?
What the deuce did you get afraid for? Supposing any were there, you could have waited at least to see whether they were good presences or bad. If good, no harm; if bad, you have only to tell them to skedaddle. But I expect it was only a feeling of yours. Generally the স্তব্ধতা is either empty of presences and formations or only one Presence is there, that of one's self or that of the Divine.
Now I am wondering why really I was afraid—thereby losing a beautiful opportunity for gaining something.
Quite so. If one gets afraid, the experience can't go on.
[After a long report of K's medical case:]
Have women a substance equivalent to men's seminal fluid which is said to be the basis of physical energy? Our medical science is silent about it.
You really don't want me to deliver to a doctor a lecture on physiology or genetics? Nonsense!
October 28, 1936
Guru, now I remember it was not exactly স্তব্ধতা. It is so difficult to express it—as though something was going to happen to me with which I was totally unfamiliar. I was going away somewhere, getting as quiet and still as the atmosphere around. Going to lose the consciousness of the surrounding things?
Well, that is the beginning of some kind of samadhi.
And if some forces were to invade at that moment—this was my fear.
Why the hell should they? But if there is any chance of that, call the Mother's protection around you.
But do you say that স্তব্ধতা is empty of other presences?
Certainly.
Isn't it a fact that some adverse force may come and try to attack us in meditation?
In meditation it may, but not in স্তব্ধতা. All meditation is not স্তব্ধতা.
S told me that once while he was meditating at the dead of night, a force came and gripped his neck (?).
Well, that's quite possible. If it does, one has only to kick it away and say, "Get off, you fool." Or if you are not vigorous enough to do that, call the Mother's force.
Anyway this fear must go.
Exactly.
People come in contact with so many planes, beings and forces in meditation, and if one gets afraid, there is a chance of madness.
[Sri Aurobindo underlined "a chance of madness".]
Not necessarily madness. Plenty of people get afraid without getting mad. Madness is exceptional. What fear does is to stop the experience or else it exposes you to blows from the vital beings. If you don't fear, they can't hurt you.
J's uncle was one.
[Sri Aurobindo drew a line indicating "one".]
One what? Got mad with fear?
So fear must go.
Fear must not enter in Yoga. As Vivekananda said, the Yogi must be অভী.47
The other day Dr. Sircar asked me what is the yogic process you adopt in curing people. I told him what you have said about the medical aspect—when the diagnosis is definitely clear you concentrate on that so that when the root is handled, symptoms disappear gradually...
Not always. Most often I deal with the symptoms also.
"It is a Science which he alone knows, to others it is a sealed book or a forbidden tree..."
Why he alone? What about the Mother? Plenty of people besides, have felt forces.
"We have tried to pluck the fruit, but he is very strict and does not allow."
How's that??
Any comments or light on this occult business? How far am I right in enunciating or enumerating your method?
All right, subject to the comments above.
By the way, if it is a question of forces, how or where the deuce do these millions of blessed bacilli and viruses come in? Has each Force a definite bacillus as its agent?
What is the difficulty? You are like the scientists who say or used to say there is no such thing as mind or thought independent of the physical brain. Mind and thought are only names for brain quiverings. Or that there is no such thing as vital Force because all the movements of life depend upon chemicals, glands and what not. These things and the germs also are only a minor physical instrumentation for something supraphysical.
Or do the Forces diminish the general resistance of the body in an occult way and germs according to their individual characteristics try to capture the body?
They first weaken or break through the nervous envelope, the aura. If that is strong and whole, a thousand million germs will not be able to do anything to you. The envelope pierced, they attack the subconscient mind in the body; sometimes also the vital mind or mind proper—prepare the illness by fear or thought of illness. The doctors themselves said that in influenza or cholera in the Far East 90 percent got ill through fear. Nothing to take away the resistance like fear. But still the subconscient is the main thing.
But diseases like cholera, plague etc. are supposed to outbreak by contamination.
If the contrary Force is strong in the body, one can move in the midst of plague and cholera and never get contaminated. Plague too, rats dying all around, people passing into Hades. I have seen that myself in Baroda.
You will say then that flies, bugs etc. that contaminate food, are sent to people by these forces and they were meant to be infected?
They were open to the Forces in some way.
Buddha, they say, died of dysentery due to pork-eating.
Modern scholars have cleared Buddha of that carnivorous calumny They say it was a vegetable root called sukarakhanda which ignorant commentators have mistranslated "piece of a pig".
Dysentery, as you know, is caused by a germ
It isn't. It is instrumentated by a germ.
And germs got into the pork by flies and flies were there at the instance of forces?
What about the vegetable root? Flies also. But why should not flies be instruments for illness just as you are an instrument for curing?
What about Ramakrishna's cancer? You will perhaps chide me for bringing in these instances, but logically they have to be there. And if Buddha's illness may not be believed, can Ramakrishna's? "How does it invalidate the theory of forces, you fool?" you will thunder.
What did he himself say about it—that it was the sins of his disciples which constituted the cancer. There is a physical aspect to things and there is an occult supraphysical aspect—one need not get in the way of the other. All physical things are the expression of the supraphysical. The existence of a body with physical instruments and processes does not, as the 19th century vainly imagined, disprove the existence of a soul which uses the body even if it is also conditioned by it. Laws of Nature do not disprove the existence of God. The fact of a material world to which our instruments are accorded does not disprove the existence of less material worlds which certain subtler instruments can show to us.
But Ramakrishna was an Avatar, Sir! An Avatar to be attacked and given insufferable pains!
Why should he not? Why on earth limit the possibilities of an Avatar?
Last night L called Dr. Becharlal for tympanites. He saw there was no tympanites at all... She had also a good motion today.
That's it! Constipation she has got but she bloodcurdles herself into any number of other things.
S asked for meals at home. Because of the rainy weather he says he feels unwell. How can I refuse when a healthy fellow like myself—?!
What delicate people all are becoming! A feather will hunch them down. Can't bear this, can't stand that. Evidently they are approaching the heights of supramental Yoga!
[In the medical report, I wrote the name of the patient as Ambala instead of Ambalal.]
I say! this is the name of a town, not of a person.
October 29, 1936
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