Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

  Sri Aurobindo : corresp.

Nirodbaran
Nirodbaran

Nirodbaran's correspondence with Sri Aurobindo began in February 1933 and continued till November 1938, when Sri Aurobindo injured his leg and Nirod became one of his attendants. The entire correspondence, which was carried on in three separate notebooks according to topics - private, medical, and literary - is presented in chronological order, revealing the unique relationship Nirod enjoyed with his guru, replete with free and frank exchanges and liberal doses of humour. Covering a wide range of topics, both serious and light-hearted, these letters reveal the infinite care Sri Aurobindo devoted to the spiritual development of his disciple.

Books by Nirodbaran Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo 1221 pages 1984 Edition
English
 Sri Aurobindo : corresp.

September 1933

May I go and see Krishnalal's paintings now and then?

Not now and then—artists usually do not care to be disturbed. You have not seen them already? I don't think he is painting his pictures now.

I send you a poem, rather long I am afraid. I shall eagerly wait to hear what you think of it.

I will take another day to read your poem! What I have read of it is good.


Last night I had a terrible dream. J was telling me: "Have you heard what D has come to? He is totally insane and now lies down in the drains." I was suddenly seized with fear, and thought: who knows if the same lot may not befall me! In the grip of that terrible fear I began to call you, but my voice wouldn't come out. Then in two or three minutes it left me... Last few days, I have been rather depressed.

Is this due to some influence exerted unconsciously on the mind by D's condition?

It is not D's condition, but your "depression for the last few days" that opened the door to this nightmare. It simply seized hold of the idea about D in order to shove itself in farther and more forcibly.

Sometimes I doubt my call for spiritual life. Occasionally some peace comes down which perhaps comes from inactivity.

If you allow such absurd ideas to take hold of you and make you belittle an experience, it is no wonder you can't progress. What is wrong with the peace that comes from inactivity? It is as good as any other.

So many thoughts have been invading me—hence my gloomy, cheerless and pessimistic attitude, I think. At such a time many tempting thoughts lure me to set the wheel back—but it is clear that I shall never step back. I must go on.

It is a formation of a hostile character that is wandering about the Asram and taking hold of one after another telling them that they are not fit and won't be able to do the Yoga and had better die or better go away or at least better be desperate. The only sensible thing is to kick these suggestions out of you without any ceremony and tell them that you have come here to succeed and not to fail.


Seeing J's aspiration I am tempted to ask him again to come for Darshan. Will you kindly give him blessings that he may come one day?

Don't press too much. Let him develop naturally if he has the true call.

Is it likely that you have forgotten about the poem? Of course I am not in a hurry, but only anxious to hear your opinion about it.

It has disappeared in a mass of papers and I am hunting for it now.


I find sometimes that the rejection is not entire. The mind tries to call in the thoughts and enjoy them. It is no doubt due to a weakness in the nature still trying to satisfy itself in thoughts.

It is usually that—some part of the being has the taste still—so it returns.










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