Twelve Years with Sri Aurobindo

Postscript

This book published in 1972 ends on a highly expectant note. The lines quoted from Sri Aurobindo's poem, "A God's Labour", written in 1935-36 give us the definite hope that Sri Aurobindo's dream would be realised: the Mother's body would be transformed into a "raiment of gold and blue". Indeed after Sri Aurobindo had left his body, the work went on apace. A number of sadhaks had the experience of participating in the work of transformation by changes felt in their own body. The Mother wrote at length and spoke about it quite often. So we were living in the bright hope that it was just a question of time. The Mother would complete a hundred years or even more and would appear to us in a glorious body.

She carried on her daily activities with the same vigour and keen interest from morning to evening. I was an exceptional recipient of her Grace when she consented gladly to listen to my Twelve Years with Sri Aurobindo in its manuscript form before being sent to the Press. And I went on reading it every evening till the end of 1972. She was so pleased with the book that when I asked for her impression, she wrote immediately a sentence which has been appended at the beginning of this book. Besides the Twelve Years, I read out to her my other works: Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo and Talks with Sri Aurobindo. The former particularly pleased her so much that at the end she remarked, "Sri Aurobindo has given you everything." Once during this period, I don't remember the context, stretching her right hand out to me, she said, "Grip my hand." We pressed each other's hands. Then she asked smiling, "How do you find it?" "Very strong, Mother," I replied. She was happy.

But all of a sudden things took a different turn. She had said that her body was the first ever to be subject to the Supramental Power — here was an experiment Sri Aurobindo had wanted her to undergo. The pressure of this Power to which she had unreservedly opened herself began to tell on the physical instrument and she fell ill. All work and interviews came to an abrupt cessation from the early months of 1973. She went into complete retirement, seeing no one except her personal attendants. Since these are matters of an occult dimension it will be futile on anyone's part to venture an interpretation. All we can say is that at the end of her tremendous isolated labour through twenty-three years after Sri Aurobindo's passing away in 1950, the Mother also departed. Now that the special support had been withdrawn, we had to fall back considerably upon our own efforts. But that did not mean that her help has been withdrawn. She has given us the assurance, like Sri Aurobindo, that she will always be with us. It is the constant experience of the sadhaks that her Presence is ever active. We have only to carry on with unflagging zeal, faith and surrender, and her aid will be unfailingly with us.