Moments Eternal

Amusing Incidents

Listen to an amusing incident. From the time I settled here, I kept hearing about the Supramental manifestation from the elderly sadhaks. They talked about this all the time. There was a sort of repressed excitement in their conversations. We younger ones were not at all bothered by this: “When would the Supramental manifestation take place? How would it take place?” Such questions never cropped up in our minds. You can imagine how very ignorant we were. My friend Gauri and I would sit on a cement bench in our Nanteuil house under the huge Ashwattha tree and chat about all sorts of things. One day Gauri asked me:

“Do you understand anything about this Supramental manifestation that the elderly keep talking about? What is it?” “That is not our concern,” I replied. “It is not possible for

us to move even a little bit. We needn’t go so far ahead in a single life. It is like counting chickens before they hatch. Ours is only to love the Mother and if She finds us worthy then we will certainly feel something about this in this life. So let us not dance our brains out with this.”

Both of us sat quietly. The leaves of the Ashwattha tree rustled overhead. Suddenly I burst out laughing. Gauri looked at me very puzzled.

“Why are you laughing, Priti?”

“You know, Gauri,” I said, “when the Supramental Light manifests, the Mother will distribute all Her sarees to Her girls. We will wear those sarees and go to the Mother to get Her blessings. Won’t that be lovely?”

Gauri was a little nonplussed.

“How did you ever get such an idea?”

“I don’t know. It just occurred to me. Maybe an intuition.”

We again fell into silence.

You know what was astonishing about this? When the Supramental Light came down, the Mother, in fact, gave away Her own sarees to all Her girls. She discussed with Vasudha which saree to give to which girl. She took a long time to select the saree. While selecting the saree for Tapati She told Vasudha:

“Tapati is a very jovial sort of girl. Should I give her this georgette saree with the cherry blossom print?”

The Mother loved that particular saree very much and had worn it on several occasions.

For the April Darshan we all wore those sarees given by the Mother and went to Her for blessings. Gauri and I were both astonished beyond words. We had never imagined that what I had said in jest would become a reality.

So the Mother definitely understands all our thoughts and desires!

Let me tell you about another incident. It was 1956 after the descent of the Supramental Light when everyone was asking the Mother all sorts of questions about it. Our curiosity knew no end. One day in the translation class the Mother uttered the word ‘Gnostic’ and suddenly stopped. I was full of uncontrollable curiosity. My mind was not at all in the class. After the class ended, I followed the Mother, staying very close behind. After some time I called out to Her. The Mother turned around:

“What do you want?”

“Mother, in the class you said ‘Gnostic’ and then became silent. What was on Your mind, Mother?” The Mother looked quite surprised.

“Ah! so you caught that moment.”

“Please tell me, Mother, what You wanted to say.” A mischievous smile lit up the Mother’s face.

“If I tell you something about this then your head will split in two. Go and get Nolini.”

I ran as fast as I could and called Nolini-da. The Mother took Nolini-da into the interview-room and stood there in a corner telling him various things. Nolini-da simply listened quietly while I leaned over the window sill and waited silently. If only I could catch a single word!

*

We need to give up all samskaras. I understood this one day from the Mother Herself.

Every evening in the Playground, the Mother would sit in front of the map of India and distribute toffees made by Ganpatram-ji to everyone. An American lady named Rijuta would take the toffee from the Mother with her left hand. I found that very improper. How could she take the toffee with her left hand? And so one day I blurted out to the Mother:

“Why does Rijuta take the toffee from You with her left hand? It doesn’t look good.”

The Mother looked at me greatly surprised and holding both Her hands up in front of me asked:

“What is the difference between these two hands?”

I just sat speechless and a little embarrassed. That this was a samskara was for us hard to understand. To the Mother the left or the right hand were both the same. How difficult it is to free ourselves from our old samskaras. The most important thing is the attitude with which we receive something from Her. If we wish to be totally free from all types of samskaras we need to have a very generous mind.

*

He who gets your flag to hold

Gets from you a strength untold.

The Mother would stand in front of the map of India, erect, to take the salute of the March Past. Beauty and force surrounded Her. She looked marvellous.

The first March Past took place on one of the Darshan days, I don’t remember which. For the March Past in front of the Mother, Light used to be the standard bearer of the

‘E’ group (women) walking in front of us holding aloft the Mother’s blue symbol on a white silk flag. It was truly admirable the way Light marched upright with steady steps holding the enormous flag of the Mother. Light exuded beauty and power. I felt the Mother was pouring power into her. Abhay Singh was the standard bearer of the men’s group. Light and Abhay Singh would gently lower the flag in front of the Mother in a gesture of obeisance. An aura of strength and beauty enveloped both Light and Abhay Singh. And we members of the group would feel at that moment a descent of tremendous power. Even today during the March Past the boys and girls of the different groups and even the spectators feel the same power of the Mother. The Mother came and always stood in front of the map of India to take the salute during the March Past. Those who have a subtle sight are still blessed with that vision of the Mother.

*

One could never go to the Mother with a complaint against anybody. Even if we had noticed the gravest of faults in somebody’s nature we were supposed to accept it. We were taught to ignore defects and focus on good qualities since we are all composed of both good and bad. We all have our flaws and defects but we also have our good qualities. This is what I learnt from the Mother through a very ordinary incident. We were waiting in the Playground for the Mother. When she came the Mother looked at us and smiled and said a few words. Plucking up a little courage I told the Mother:

“Look, Mother! This girl doesn’t study at all.” (The girl was standing near us.)

The Mother looked at the girl and sweetly smiled:

“But see how beautifully she embroiders. She is like a fairy where work is concerned.”

And saying this, the Mother looked tenderly on the girl.

*

One day, while discarding a saree, I remembered an incident. We are used to discarding clothes as soon as they are torn or old.

I would notice while going to the Mother for Her blessing that flowers were embroidered on the Mother’s gown at several places. It was quite puzzling to me. Minu, Jaya, Bela and others were responsible for stitching the Mother’s gowns. So one day I asked Minu:

“Why do you keep embroidering flowers here and there on the Mother’s gown? Can’t you do it in a certain pattern? It looks so strange.”

Minu laughed and said:

“Is the Mother short of gowns? But the Mother will not throw any of Her old gowns away. As soon as there is a tear in the gown, She asks us to patch that area and embroider a flower over it. All the flowers on a gown just go to show how old they are. The Mother has many such gowns on which we have embroidered flowers on Her instructions.”

What Minu said came as a revelation to me of how we need to take care of every little thing as long as it can be used. The Mother was showing us this through Her own example. Every little act of the Mother revealed to us so many useful things that it is impossible to describe in words: the way She talked, the way She looked, the freshness and beauty of every bodily movement beckoned us, as it were, towards some subtler world and transported us onto streams of ananda.

From the ocean of bliss an arrow has come today. The Mother of Bliss is Herself present in our midst. Doubts, despair, sorrows, death—nothing can impede our march ahead. Each new day is a declaration of war against these forces. Thanks to the Mother’s unearthly Grace we have overcome so many of these obstacles and difficulties.

The Mother always used to mitigate the punishment that we merited for our conduct. The Mother’s Body was our protective shield. Like Karna on whom She had put the shield of the sun at the time of his birth, the divine Mother Herself, Aditi, was our shield. And this shield will protect us forever. It will protect us now from the attacks of the subtle world.

*

After the Mother’s physical withdrawal Nolini-da wrote:

So long her physical body was our protection; we did not suffer the full consequences of our Karma because her body acted as a buffer: it broke the force of the impact of the Karma and reduced its evil effects to a minimum.

Let me write about a vision that Nolini-da had. This vision is a clear proof that the Mother, though She did leave Her body, hasn’t left us. In times of pain and difficulty She continues to protect us as always. And therefore ‘Do not fear’:

The Mother says, “Look at me, I am here, come back in my new body, divine, transformed and glorious. And I am the same Mother, still human. Do not worry. Do not be concerned about your own self, your progress and realisation, nor about others. I am here, look at me, gaze into me, enter into me wholly, merge into my being, lose yourself into my love, with your love. You will see all problems solved, everything done. Forget all else, forget the world. Remember me alone, be one with me, with my love.”

*

One day I found the Mother with a very stern expression. I wondered what the cause was. The Mother looked at me and said:

“I still cannot understand you human beings. How can you continue to tell lies to my face?”

I replied:

“Mother, normally everyone is afraid of You and that is why they resort to lying. How many are there who are truly courageous and truthful? Out of fear of punishment they cannot accept responsibility. On the other hand, they know perfectly well that You know and understand everything. And still they cannot get rid of their fear. Mother, we all love You so much but in our reverence for You there is a tinge of fear that hides in our hearts. Why, Mother?”

The Mother just kept looking at me with exceeding tenderness.

*

After Sri Aurobindo’s physical departure it was the Mother who pulled us out of our deep gloom by pouring Her infinite love and joy on us. Right from very early in the morning till late in the night the Mother would spread cheer all around carrying all of us in Her heart. From under Her protective wing we slowly emerged stronger to bear the deep pain and sorrow of losing our Lord, Sri Aurobindo. The Mother gave of Herself to humanity so that we could all receive this strength.

During the Marching in the Playground and at every moment we were dazzled by the ever-changing ever-new form and movement of the Mother. There was a deep sense of void that descended on us after Sri Aurobindo left his body. The Mother was acutely aware of this. She would tell us all sorts of amusing things to bring back laughter and joy on our crestfallen faces. One day She recounted to us the story of Hans Andersen ‘The invisible dress’ with so much fun and humour that we were all rolling with laughter. Suddenly She became very serious and whispered to us:

“I don’t think Pavitra is enjoying our laughter very much. So let us keep quiet.”

And like a little girl She folded Her arms and began watching the marching seriously. All this playfulness and mischief of the Mother helped to take us out of that solemn grief into which Sri Aurobindo’s departure had plunged us. The Mother was now totally alone. This fact caused us a lot of pain. From time to time the Mother would become extremely serious. We could not understand this. The thought that was uppermost on our minds: when would Sri Aurobindo come back? We used to feel a strange sort of pain for the Mother.

Let me tell you about one of the Mother’s pranks. During the Playground marching the Mother would often be engaged in interviews. She used to sit in the interview room and remain there for a long time. One day after finishing an interview She came out striding towards the map of India, holding Her hands behind her back. Her eyes glinting with mischief, She looked at us and suddenly held out a photograph before our faces. It was the photograph of the person with whom She had just had the interview. This gentleman had given Her one of his photographs. Can you believe that! We just laughed like mad! The Mother also broke into a childlike laugh, full of mischief. All these little incidents of playfulness by the Mother took place after Sri Aurobindo’s physical withdrawal. The Mother would not allow anyone to sink into any feeling of despair.

Another day, She came striding out after an interview and moved towards the map of India. We were all waiting there for Her. On seeing Her face we knew at once that She was going to give us some good news and good news it was. The Mother said:

“I have had a very good interview today. I hadn’t spoken with such a full heart as I did today. The gentleman I met is very honest and sincere and really feels a great love for Sri Aurobindo and me. He is a high-court judge.” (By the way, this gentleman was my elder uncle, Subodh Kumar Niyogi. So it was quite natural for me to be curious.)

The Mother went on:

“Ah! He looked so wonderful in his judge’s gown. Elegant, well-built, erect.”

The Mother’s eyes and face were glowing with a marvellous tenderness. Probably it was from this divine Mother that human mothers had learnt to praise their own children. While She was saying this, the Mother looked exceedingly beautiful. It was after a long time that I had heard something like this from the Mother. After the descent of the Supramental Light in 1956, the Mother started becoming strangely worried or serious. I felt She was slowly withdrawing into Herself, getting more and more absorbed in the work of the transformation of the body. So one day finding Her close again, I exclaimed to Her:

“The judge’s work is only to punish people. How many people they must have sent to the gallows! I really don’t care much for the judge’s profession.”

The Mother looked at me a little surprised:

“Whoever told you that these judges spend their time punishing people? You have no idea how much time and energy they put into trying to save the innocent. This judge for instance who came for the interview wakes up every morning at four in order to meditate. Then he sits down to write a judgement and remembers me before putting down each word. I can hear his call. He hasn’t sent a single person to his death.”

I can still hear the Mother’s voice. The Mother always helped all Her children and devotees whenever they called out to Her.

Needless to say, I was filled with joy on hearing so much praise for my uncle. The Mother probably didn’t know that this Subodh Kumar Niyogi was my uncle. He was, in fact, my younger uncle Himangshu Kumar Niyogi’s elder brother. When I got back home from the Playground my father and elder uncle enquired:

“What was the Mother telling you for so long?”

I told them and they were both very happy. My elder uncle felt a little embarrassed. I was happy because after a long time, I had found the Mother once again close to me as before.

After the marching had begun the Mother would sit down in a chair in front of the map of India and watch it. Five of us young women, Minnie-di, Milli-di, Violette, Gauri and I, were given the privilege of staying next to the Mother. The Mother used to enjoy talking to us about a host of things. She would watch very attentively how each person marched. One day all of a sudden She exclaimed:

“Look there, a spider!”

We turned and saw that one of the sadhaks was stretching his arms sideways in such a way that he really looked like a spider. Gauri and I could not help laughing. Then I exclaimed:

“Mother, look there, an elephant!”

Our Dilip-da used to come and join the marching on some days. The Mother put a finger on Her lips and asked us not to make any remarks about Dilip-da. I was slightly taken aback. Dilip-da was Sri Aurobindo and the Mother’s very dearly loved child.

And so through such varied, apparently insignificant talk the Mother came close to all of us. As the marching went on, the Mother taught us French on some days. Chitra, Minu, Nebu and I would bring the essay that She had asked us to write in French and She would correct it sitting in Her chair. I had observed from the very beginning that the Mother was equally interested in both studies and sports. In Sri Aurobindo and the Mother’s Integral Yoga everything is equally relevant and meaningful.

After the concentration, the Mother distributed groundnuts to all the groups. All the groups used to line up to receive groundnuts from the Mother’s hand as Amiyo, carrying a pot full of roasted groundnuts and a large spoon, walked along with the Mother. The Mother would scoop out the groundnuts with this spoon and distribute some to each one. Some received one scoop and some two. To some She would give just one groundnut! We could not hold back our laughter then. The sadhaks felt very embarrassed. Then this custom of going round the Playground distributing groundnuts stopped. The Mother started distributing prasad sitting in Her chair in front of the map of India. Now everyone present in the Playground, including the visitors, had the privilege of receiving prasad from Her hand. Everyone felt happy. The Mother would also give prasad and Her blessings to those whose birthday it was. Only after She had finished this would She begin Her other work.

Pranab taught his group of captains all types of exercises. He was most attentive while teaching his captains, especially the women captains. He would stand very vigilant next to them while they practised vaulting on parallel bars. There was absolutely no chance of any accident. These girls were doing such difficult exercises for the first time! The Mother just sat quietly and very attentively watched each person.

A well-known leader and educationist once came to the Ashram. After seeing the sporting activities in the Playground he observed:

“I have been to many educational institutions all over India. I have seen girls do gymnastics. But here in the Ashram I have seen for the first time girls doing vaulting, and even parallel bars. I have never seen this anywhere else.”

He was greatly impressed. The girl captains who used to practise these exercises were Chitra, Sujata, Minu, Kusumben, Mani-ben, Kumud, Tapati, Sushila, Arati, Amita, Mridula and many others. They also practised on the malkhamb and had become very skilful. Amita used to perform the Swiss drill marvellously. From among all the girls she would stand out. Among the men captains, Mona, Sumantra, Bacchu, Batti, Narendra, Manoj, Ranjan picked up everything beautifully with exemplary concentration.

We had absolutely no difficulty in discovering or understanding this new life. The Mother was constantly with us guiding and helping us along the path. Whenever we faced any difficulty we went to the Mother and told Her everything without any diffidence. And the Mother always listened to us with a ready, sweet smile. As She nodded Her head we knew that everything would be resolved. And with renewed enthusiasm we resumed the journey. And in this way our days unfolded from moment to moment. The more we endeavoured to walk on the path shown by the Mother, the more we encountered difficulties, obstacles, desires, temptations of all sorts that tried to push us off the track. The Mother firmly held the hull of our boat and there was no way we could go off-course. We did everything according to Her instructions. And if ever we went awry the Mother would unveil Her Rudra aspect. There is no child of Hers who has not received Her scolding. Quite clearly I am talking here of the young. This scolding was not necessarily expressed in words. She could make us feel without verbalising the awful weight of Her strong dissatisfaction. It was like the tremendous Himalaya. Every boy and girl of our time had a taste of this tremendous psychological pressure at some time or the other. Probably the adults did not totally escape this either. The Mother did not always express Her feelings through words but those who were sensitive understood at once Her displeasure about an act, a thought or conduct. And immediately we set about trying to locate that dark spot in us. We needed to be alert and conscious at every moment of our lives if we wished to walk with one-pointed earnestness on the path shown by the Mother.

I remember an incident. At that time Mr. René used to be in charge of our press. Mr. René was born into an aristocratic Muslim family of Hyderabad.

The Mother needed some envelopes and She entrusted

‘Baudi’ (Rajsena Nahar) with this work. René showed ‘Baudi’ how to make these envelopes. Sujata, Suprabha, Chitra, Tapati and I sat down to make them under ‘Baudi’’s instructions. From time to time René kept checking our work and seemed rather happy. As soon as he turned up ‘Baudi’ would hold up the envelopes one by one before him and ask him jocularly:

“Is it all right, Monsieur?”

Although we quietly enjoyed ‘Baudi’’s prank we went on seriously with the work.

Mr. René, however, complained to the Mother. When I

went to Her She gave me a flower rather sternly. I could not figure out what had caused the Mother’s dissatisfaction. Then

She explained:

“René was complaining that ‘The fair girl teased me a lot today. She kept showing me each envelope and saying, “Is it all right, Monsieur?”’ You probably do not know that René loves perfection in work. That is why he came back repeatedly to check if each envelope was made properly.”

“It was Rajsena who kept showing the envelopes to Mr. René, it wasn’t I.”

“You did nothing at all?” the Mother asked.

Even after much reflection I could not detect anything that I had done wrong.

“Just think a little,” the Mother insisted.

Then suddenly it flashed on me that I had indeed been enjoying ‘Baudi’’s prank, although outwardly I had shown no sign of it and went on working in all seriousness. As soon as I told the Mother this, She was extremely pleased and remarked:

“This kind of conduct on your part is not becoming at all.”

That I had been able to find my mistake on my own pleased the Mother very much. On the other hand She also told Mr. René:

“They work very well and I love these children very much.”

The following day Mr. René came to give us this happy piece of news. And we got down to our work very seriously.

The smallest of faults could not escape the Mother’s eye. I was really quite impressed by this incident; similar incidents occurred in my life on several occasions. This made me ever so alert and helped me to correct the little fault in me.