At the feet of The Mother and Sri Aurobindo

02 April 1933

MYSELF: Dear Mother, I find that towards the evening an aspiration from within rises upwards with a good deal of intensity, but at noon there is nothing of that kind. At times a sense of emptiness and boredom comes over me and I feel lonely. It can be driven away, but that intensity does not come back. A condition of being neither here nor there is very painful. It is almost suffocating to remain in this middle zone.

SRI AUROBINDO: It is best to take these movements as a means first of knowing what part of the being is still unchanged or imperfectly changed and then of bringing into it the true condition. As here it is evidently the physical vital consciousness that has still not lost the social instinct and the need of social pleasure. Don’t get discouraged when these things come, but react with a quiet confidence that this must change and will change.

(2.4.33)