At the feet of The Mother and Sri Aurobindo

02 November 1932

MYSELF: Mother mine, what to write? My movement of the day is an absolute failure. This morning my attitude was good. I was quite reserved and kept quiet, at least I was very careful not to let myself go; but afterwards I found myself making foolish mistakes one after another. Each night, when I write to you, pray and take the resolution that from the next day I should carry out what I have been asked, I feel also an assurance within me that, yes, I shall be able to do so. But alas, the next day I see I can do nothing but fail! Only in the morning, after coming back from Pranam, for some time I feel strengthened, energetic and enthusiastic, I am happy and light and find all my being praying for your help.

Is it still that a part of my vital resists — or what is it, I wonder. Mother, save me from the influences that are carrying me here and there.

SRI AUROBINDO: It is simply the habit of the physical consciousness that is showing itself insistently — the want of control of the tongue especially, — don’t get upset, — observe yourself and keep the will steady — it is not merely the vital but the habit of the physical mind and the body.

(2.11.32)