At the feet of The Mother and Sri Aurobindo

07 November 1933

MYSELF: Mother, on the whole, I am all right. There is no longer a feeling of irritation about work; the inclination to work comes now and then. Still, a state of disorder seems to persist. Sometimes a state of spontaneous conscious control over some aspects, at other times a sense of “lightening” in regard to other aspects — these keep alternating.

SRI AUROBINDO: All these things are in fact things that had been left in the outer being, in the physical consciousness, though some were rejected by the higher parts and their persistence there or their remnants made the progress incomplete. Now they are rising up for dispersal and have to be thrown out from these parts also. As for unwillingness to work, if the sleep comes fully back and the body recovers its elasticity it should not be difficult to get rid of that.

MYSELF: Today also at noon there was an attack of depression. At first, I thought of concealing it from you. Neither did I want to reject it. I feared that you might be displeased with me. However, eventually I rejected it after a regular tussle! And the light came, thanks to your Grace.

SRI AUROBINDO: It is always a mistake to conceal. That was the tamasic ego in the vital physical — a resistance of inertia which comes when the rajasic is disappointed.

(7.11.33)