On Sunday mornings I went up to the Mother for pranam. I was waiting for my turn on the staircase holding my offering of flowers. For some reason I was not feeling quite fine inwardly. I was burning with anger and pain. I was going through a period of massive despair. It was now my turn to go to Her. Immediately on entering I offered Her the flowers. She looked at each flower one by one. Then, She selected some from these to give back to me. She was seated at that time. I had placed my hand on Her lap to offer the flowers. The Mother began placing the flowers one by one into my hand still on Her lap. At the soft gentle touch of Her hand, the suppressed pain in my chest came out and my eyes welled up with tears. The Mother saw me crying but She said nothing. It was I who spoke:

    I - Mother, am I somewhat abnormal?

    Mother - (looking surprised at me) No, not at all.

    I - Mother, some people think I am quite mad, I am mad. I feel hurt hearing this.

Mother - (forcefully) But why do you allow yourself to be hurt? That is your weakness. Let people talk, that is their nature. Most of the time they speak nonsense, in any case. Either they spend their time criticizing others or seeing the negative side of things.

I was crying profusely even as the Mother was telling me this.

I - Mother, such talk makes a normal person abnormal.

Mother - Yes, this is very regrettable. While indulging in this negative talk, they cast upon the other person such a nasty vibration that it is most pernicious. (The Mother notices that my crying has not stopped) Listen, next time when these people tell you that you are abnormal, tell them, "Yes, I am abnormal because I am not a hypocrite. I am abnormal because I want

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to be honest, truthful and sincere. Yes, I am abnormal because I do not strut about with your superficial polish the way you strut about. Yes, I am abnormal, so what? The Mother loves me and I do not care about anyone else!"

Hearing the Mother say all this to me was an unimagined privilege. She took both my hands into Hers and then looked into my eyes intently for a long time. She removed all pain, all sorrow from me. My crying completely stopped. I recovered such peace and tranquillity sitting in Her presence! Such peace and tranquillity, I cannot tell you!

Then, the Mother spoke to me a little more. These were not merely words but magical mantras of the Mother.

Mother - Don't be troubled by human opinions. Keep your attention focused on the Divine, my dear child. The day men will stop talking ill of others, the day men will stop harbouring a wrong attitude towards one another, half the ills of the earth will disappear.

These words from the Mother brought to me not merely consolation, peace and self-confidence, they were a profound lesson of life for me. If ever by mistake I fall into this trap of speaking ill of someone, very soon the words of the Mother or rather Her divine beacon of light makes me conscious and alert about not repeating this mistake again.

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Living in The Presence

Am I mad?

Poems by Sri Aurobindo

Spiritual Significance of Flowers

Disciples / Seekers

Sri Aurobindo's Works

The Mother's Works

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