For the 1^st December programme of 1955, the Mother had selected four girls to recite two poems of Sri Aurobindo, Ascent and Descent: Arati-di, Light (Manoranjan-da's daughter), Chhanda and myself. In those days, the Mother had given the responsibility of this annual programme to three people: Anu-ben was in charge of dance, Sunil-da was in charge of music, and theater was the responsibility of Norman-da. That year, it was Norman-da who had taught us how to recite the two poems. He had typed out the poems for all four of us so that we could commit them to memory. Then at a fixed time, we used to go to him in order to learn about recitation, to work on our pronunciation, etc. At times, I would go and stand at the entrance to the Mother's interview room in the Playground if I had something to tell Her.

It was on one such occasion. The Mother's interviews had just ended. I hurried to the door and asked Her if I could come inside. The Mother nodded. I requested her, handing her Sri Aurobindo's poem Ascent, if She would kindly read out the portions I was supposed to recite. I was supposed to read out quite a few lines from the opening. There was just one reason

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for bothering the Mother in this way: it was a pretext or an excuse to be in Her presence. Out of Her infinite compassion and patience, She would bear with my ploys and accept to see me. That day, She took the paper from me, opened it out. Unfortunately She had no time, so She asked me to return on the following day at the same time. Accordingly I went and stood with the poem next to the interview-room. As soon as the interviews were over, I peeped in and asked Her if I could come in. The Mother consented and I got in, and sat at Her feet. "I have brought the poem I have to recite. You told me to come," I said. "Yes, I remember," She replied graciously.

There used to be a table next to the Mother's chair, on which stood a table-lamp and some flowers on a tray. She took the paper from my hand, and looked at it in silence. Then, She turned Her gaze on me and began reading:

Into the Silence, into the Silence,
Arise, O Spirit immortal...

Such marvellous lines from Sri Aurobindo! In the Mother's voice, they sounded so beautiful! Her style of recitation was indescribable in words, such power in Her reading, the depth, clarity and poise of Her voice. It was a most exceptional experience! That day, I came out of the interview room after having listened to the Mother's reading. Her words 'Into the Silence, into the Silence' kept ringing in my ears. Had we got the facilities to record as we do today, how many people could have enjoyed listening to this recitation by the Mother! But let me get back to my narrative. After a few days, the Mother listened to my recitation of the same poem. She liked it but She corrected me at a few places. She told me to return after practising it for some time. My joy knew no bounds to hear that I could come back to see Her! Something unpleasant happened in the afternoon of the day I was supposed to go back to Her. I had gone to work with Prithwisingh-da and, for no reason, he scolded me very rudely without telling me where I had erred. I went back home and told my mother about it as I was extremely upset. I went for sports and then in that same

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somber mood, went and stood in front of the interview room. The Mother called me in when it was time.

Quietly, I went in to sit at Her feet. The Mother looked at me for a while then asked, "Have you practised? Then start." I began my recitation. I kept making mistakes, as I hesitated again and again. The memory of Prithwisingh's scolding kept intruding. I had never made so many mistakes while reciting! The Mother kept listening to me, seated in Her chair, without saying a word, without reprimanding me. In the end, I just broke down into tears. My sobbing was uncontrollable. The Mother straightened up in Her chair and said, "Come, let's recite 'Om' together. I will start and you follow." Thus, the Mother started chanting 'Om'. With the Mother's divine force, all my gloom was simply obliterated! I felt such a peace! The whole room, my entire being was full of this peace! The Mother's eyes were fixed on me. After some time, She spoke again, "When you feel unwell, or when some unpleasant, ugly force or thought tries to attack you, and you want to stay away from it, then keep chanting 'Om'. You will see how those hostile forces disappear. You will feel a tremendous peace within you." Then the Mother fixed me with Her eyes again. "When something disturbing happens to you," She resumed, "something that makes you restless, agitated, keep repeating this mantra over and over again, Om Shanti! Shanti! Shanti!" It was unbelievable how my mood changed! Now, I took up the recitation of Sri Aurobindo's poem again, and returned home carrying a priceless jewel in the depth of my heart. What a Grace I had received from the Mother!

A few days later, when I returned to the Mother to practise my recitation of the poem for the 1^st December programme, I got into the interview-room, placed both my hands on Her feet and prayed, "Sweet Mother, teach me to chant 'Om'." The Mother did not respond. She sat up straight in Her chair, while I sat below at Her feet. Then, She began chanting Om. I simply listened to Her this time, hypnotized, staring at Her chanting with Her eyes closed. She chanted Om only a few times, for a very short while. The table-lamp was aglow beside

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Her. She was wearing a white silk salwar-kameez, with a kitty-cap covering Her head. I was quite transported, lost in that divine experience! Nothing else existed then, no room, no me, just nothing at all! There was only that all-powerful, all-victorious vibration created by the Om chant and the radiance of the small lamp beside the Mother. This little lamp's glow was multiplied a hundredfold, and flooded the room with light! In that flood of light, there was the divine Mother and myself seated in a prayerful state at Her feet. Then, I raised my head and looked at the Mother. She ended the Om chant. A wordless silence reigned for some time. The lingering trail of the Om vibration still continued in the room and in my ears. Slowly the Mother opened Her eyes and turned Her gaze on me in speechless silence. Seated at the feet of the Mother, I experienced that day the tremendous power of silence. Then the Mother said, "Now, you chant Om. I touched Her feet and said, "Mother, I won't be able to say Om today. I have lost myself in You today." The Mother did not say anything to that. Then, after a while, She explained, "Find an open space, like a room or under the sky or on the seafront, and then sit down and keep chanting Om the way I have shown you. If you keep practising this with inwardness, you will see how much peace you will get. This will widen your being. You will observe a vastness, a massive consciousness that is growing within you. Just try."

On another day, I went up to see the Mother. A question arose in my mind. I asked Her, "How can one go deep within oneself?" "Haven't I explained this so many times?" came Her reply. She remained in a meditative state for a long time, as if She had gone into a deep trance. Then, on coming out of it, She said, "Keep your body in a comfortable position and then start chanting Om. Go on with this chanting of Om. You will notice that you are standing at the mouth of a dark tunnel, a long, narrow tunnel. Do not stop chanting Om, continue doing so seriously and with single-mindedness. You will observe that the dark tunnel is becoming brighter. Keep doing this practice. Keep chanting Om. Do this as many times

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as possible. One day, you will see you have reached the end of this tunnel - in the deepest part of your inner being - there the Lord resides, your inner deity dwells there. This practice is very hard and demands a lot of sadhana. But if you practise it regularly, then one day you are bound to succeed." After saying this, the Mother looked at me for a while very intently, then said, "Aurevoir, my dear child!" "Aurevoir, Douce Mère," I replied, as I bowed down and came out of the room.

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