I belonged to a very old well-established family of Calcutta. The large Mitra house was situated in the northern part of the city right from the time of the British occupation. My family was traditional Hindu. The house had spacious courtyards, a large veranda for Durga Puja and a smaller'Puja -room' (a prayer room) for Narayan. Every morning and evening a priest used to come to conduct the worship of the 150-year-old Narayan 'shila' (stone). This might give you some idea of the Mitra household. Quite naturally, these regular pujas to Narayan rendered the atmosphere of the house very special. My mother, the late Ashalata Mitra, who ran the household, was a very devout woman. She had met several religious masters, she had even taken initiation but she hadn't found in any of the gurus the deity of her heart's adoration. She also worshipped Narayan, our family deity. But somewhere there was a great emptiness in her although she herself might not have been aware of it. Her life rolled on in a semblance of outward happiness. Then the month of August arrived in the year 1940. Chhot-da, my third brother, passed away on 15^th August of typhoid. I was very small then.

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I did not quite understand what death was all about. It is in my mother that I saw what death meant, felt its dreadful impact. Ma had always been rather reserved and quiet by nature. After Chhot-da' s passing Ma became even more silent and withdrawn. She did not either speak or laugh or even cry. Just like a still white marble figure. She walked and worked around the house but in listless silence. Naturally we were all saddened seeing Ma in that state. But what could we do except accept destiny. Baba and both my elder brothers were extremely worried. My eldest brother Arun thought a Visit to some ashram would do Ma some good. That is why towards the latter part of 1940, Dada took Ma to the ashram of Sri Balananda Giri in Deogarh for a few days. Balananda was then very well-known as a realised soul and a spiritual master. He had numerous disciples and Ma seemed happy in the atmosphere of his ashram. After staying there for a few days Ma felt within a desire to receive initiation from Balananda Giri. One day she found an opportunity to tell him about her secret wish. He told Ma (I have heard this from my eldest brother), "Ma, I cannot give you any initiation. You will receive initiation from one who is the guru of the world. One day you will meet this guru."

After this incident they stayed for a few more days at Balananda Giri's ashram and then returned to Calcutta. Life returned to its routine. There was no changein Ma's condition. One felt silence had en-wrapped her once again.

A few days after Ma and Dada's return from Deogarh, a neighbour of ours named Ajit-da came to our house for some work connected with my brother. After finishing his work he came and sat down with Ma and began speaking to her about Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. After speaking about their Ashram for quite some time, he turned to Dada and said, "Arun, why don't you take Jethima to Pondicherry.? Who knows, she might feel better in the Ashram atmosphere." All of us, brothers and myself, were very impressed by what Ajit-da had told us about Pondicherry. Probably this is why Dada turned to Ma very spontaneously and asked, "Will you go

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to Pondicherry, Ma? 15^th August is Sri Aurobindo and the Mother's darshan. A lot of people go there on this occasion. If you agree, I can write to the Ashram for permission and you, Ajit-da and I, we can go for a Visit." Ma consented at once!

So in 1941, Ma and Dada went to Pondicherry for the August darshan. They saw the Mother and Sri Aurobindo and after spending a few days there returned to Calcutta. We were all stunned to see Ma. What a sea-change! We found our old Ma once again, calm, affectionate and focussed. Though she spoke little, she was up and about once more and fulfilled her household duties devotedly. Ma's face and eyes had begun to glow with a marvellous serenity after her return from Pondicherry. After coming back to Calcutta, Ma hung two large pictures of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother in our bedroom. We noticed that every day Ma wouldplace some flowers in front of the photographs, pray by lighting incense and oil-lamps and bow down to them. Following her example we children also began bowing down to them. Then, one day, I told Dada, "Ma has changed so much after going to Pondicherry, hasn't she.? How did this change happen?" Dada began recounting to me in detail their Pondicherry visit. Dada had an extraordinary flair for narration. I became totally absorbed in his descriptions. "You know, my dear," Dada began, "the Mother blesses all the Ashram residents every morning. Thishappens in a large room called the Meditation-hall. There the Mother sits in a chair and a sadhak stands next to Her holding a big tray of flowers. When the Mother has blessed the person in front of Her, his work is to hand Her a flower that She gives to him. The sadhaks and sadhikas stand in a long line along with Visitors from outside and come in front of the Mother one after another and accept the flower from Her. After giving the flower, the Mother concentrates for a few seconds by looking into the eyes of the person. Then She moves Her eyes away and it signals the next person's turn. Every day one can see the Mother and get Her blessing in this way. On reaching the Ashram, Ajit-da, Ma and I joined

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the line for this darshan. Ajit-da was in front, Ma behind him and I was behind Ma. We came and stood in front of the Mother. Ajit-da received the Mother's blessing first. Then moving a little to the side he brought Ma forward and told the Mother, 'Sweet Mother, this is Mrs Ashalata Mitra and behind her is her eldest son, Arunendranath Mitra.' At once the Mother stretched out both Her hands and held Ma's and placed them on Her lap. Then She smiled her sweet divine smile looking into Ma's eyes. Ma told the Mother in Bengali that she had lost her youngest son on 15th August last year. There was a great sadness in her heart and she was unable to feel at peace. The Mother called me near Her and enquired if we had any photograph of my youngest brother. I replied to the Mother that I would bring his photograph the following day at darshan time. The Mother kept holding Ma's hands on Her lap. Then She told me in English, 'Tell your mother that I have received her son. He is now with me and he is fine. Your mother should not worry or feel sad about him. He is with me.' After saying this the Mother held Ma's hands and looked into her eyes for a while. Then She placed Her right hand on her forehead, closed Her eyes and remained still. After some time, She opened Her eyes and with her endearing Mahalakshmi smile offered Ma and me a flower and then blessed us. We returned home after this. You know, dear, this is how the maharishis and great spiritually powerfull gurus remove human sorrow and suffering. The Mother did the same with our Ma's pain. After all, She is the mighty divine Mother! Her Grace and divine touch changed our Ma.She was born anew." I listened mesmerised to all these stories about the Mother and the Ashram from Dada's mouth. This was our first contact with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. All this time we had been worshiping our family deity Narayan. This was the first time that all of us consciously accepted Sri Aurobindo and the Mother as our Gurus, even though my second brother Robi and I had not yet had Their darshan.

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