Living in The Presence

The Evening Meditation

It was 10^th August of 1942. We came to know from Nolini-da that the Mother came and stood on the terrace above Dyuman-bhai's room at around 6.15 in the evening. The Ashramites gathered in the courtyard below and had the Mother's darshan. She meditated there for a few minutes and the Ashramites also joined in. This time there was no question of lingering anywhere and we arrived at the Ashram gate well  in time. There was a sadhak on duty at the gate. On seeing us enter, he asked, "Does the little girl have permission to go for the meditation?" Ma replied, "No, she doesn't. We have arrived  recently, so we don't know the procedures of the Ashram." "Then, leave the girl at the gate and you two can go inside.  See that you get the Mother's permission for her tomorrow." Ma took me outside and told me very affectionately, "Today, you wait here. We'll join you after the meditation. Tomorrow we'll get permission for you so that you too can come with us for the Mother's darshan." Leaving me at the Ashram gate, Ma and my brother went back inside. I stood there all alone, my eyes filled with tears. After the meditation, Ma and my brother returned and stood beside me at the gate. Seeing me cry, Ma said, "Let's go and see Nolini-da right away and ask him what should be done to get you in for the meditation." All three of us went straight to Nolini-da to ask him about the evening meditation. Nolini-da explained, Little children need the Mother's permission for joining the meditation. 1 will ask Her. Come back tomorrow afternoon at 3. I will give you Her answer then."As decided we turned up at his doorstep at 3. Nolini-da replied, "The Mother has asked Shobha to

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stand next to Ashalata just in front of Dyuman's room. The Mother will come and stand above Dyuman's room and after seeing Shobha will inform tomorrow if she is truly capable of attending the evening meditation."

    That evening we went and stood in front of Dyuman-bhai's room a little before 6.15. The courtyard was almost full. The sky was aglow with the light of the setting sun. The sadhaks and sadhikas dressed in white waited in absolute silence. Just a couple of crows cawing in that tranquil air. My eyes were totally   focussed on the terrace. The sky was flooded with gold and through this golden light the Mother slowly came out to the front of the terrace. filled my eyes with the Mother. The Mother was also watching me. The sky behind Her was awash with light as if someone had spilled the colours of Holi. And against that backdrop the Mother looked splendid! As if the Divine goddess had come down from heaven to give us a glimpse. My eyes did not blink, so engrossed was I in enjoying that sight. I had completely forgotten that, in fact, I was standing there for a test. The Mother was to observe me and decide if I was ready to participate in this evening meditation. As soon as the Mother appeared three gongs were sounded. The Vibration of those gong-sounds in that evening hush created an other-worldly atmosphere. The meditation started. I was too young to know what meditation was so I went on simply staring at the Mother. Some time went by. All the people who had gathered in the courtyard were either meditating with the Mother or looking at Her. After a while the Mother opened Her eyes. She surveyed each and everyone in the entire courtyard, as if through that Visual contact She was blessing them all. Then, before going back, She turned around an sweetly smiled at me. Slowly, She retreated back to Her room. After Her departure everyone proceeded towards the gate in uninterrupted silence. Nobody felt like speaking in that hush of evening silence left by the Mother. I had never seen such total immaculate silence in the midst of so many people in Calcutta.

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