It was my birthday in the year 1965. I had done a painting for the Mother to offer on this day. It was a painting inspired from Savitri. A golden staircase descends from the sky towards the earth. Savitri stands at the head of the staircase. She is coming down this golden staircase. As she is coming down, one part of the earth is illumined by her divine radiance. Below this painting I had put two lines from Savitri:

She is the golden bridge, the wonderful fire.
The luminous heart of the Unknown is she...

The Mother observed the painting for a long time and liked it. "It is fine," She said. Then She handed over the painting to Champaklal-ji. I bowed at Her feet. She held both my hands into Hers and began talking, even as She kept looking into my eyes:

    Mother - I would like to open a Music section here. . .see what you can do with it.

    Saying this, the Mother held my head with both Her hands and closed Her eyes for some time. These words of the Mother were so very unexpected that I just could not believe my ears. I was not sure if I had heard right or was it a projection of my imagination. Then, the Mother opened Her eyes and said sweetly smiling:

    Mother - I don't have any room for it at the moment. I will ask Kireet to find something. When we get something, I will inform you. Do you have any space in your house to take classes?

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    I - (Realising I had indeed kennel correctly) Yes, Mother, there is a big verandah at the entrance to the house. That is where I used to practise and prepare for the Sangeetmala programmes. The space is quite sufficient. I also practise my dance there with Charupada who accompanies me on the tabla.

    Mother - Good. So start your classes there. I will tell Kireet about it. Boys and girls will go to you after their Group activities. Take them once or twice a week, give about an hour or so after your Group activities for these classes.

    I - The children finish sports quite early but my Group ends later. Can I ask my sister-in-law (Arup's mother) to take some classes while I am still at sports. My sister-in-law knows singing.

    Mother - Yes, that's fine. Start the classes in this way for now. I will give you another space when something is available.

    Then the Mother concentrated on me once again for some time. I felt a great strength enter me at Her touch. I bowed my head at Her lotus feet, then holding them I told Her, "Divine Mother, with Your Grace everything is possible." I feel, at that moment on that day, it was my inmost being that had spoken those words to the Mother.

    A long time has passed and the Music section has grown. The Mother has worked through me with the abilities I could muster.

    Anyway, let me come back to that day. I returned with the flowers and the books given by the Mother to Red House. I felt another chapter was opening in my life's book.

    There used to be singing classes at the Ashram before this. When Dilip-da lived here, he would take these classes in his house which is the present-day Tresor Nursing Home. Sahana-di also used to take some classes in her house. When the Mother asked me to take charge of the Music section, I remember Tinkori-da teaching a few students in two rooms adjoining the Dance-hall.

    I also remember that when I used to prepare for the Sangeetmala programmes, if there were any items where students were involved, the Mother would take keen interest

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in looking at the notice and from time to time, She world ask me questions about the items they were presenting. Tc work with the smaller children through Sangeetmala, to organise singing sessions with the boys and girls of the school, all this had become quite routine. The only difference was that these songs were all learnt from records. Teaching songs was another aspect of musical education.

    The singing classes started with the little ones. The front verandah of our house used to come alive with their singing every evening. I began preparing myself to be able to run this Music section. However, at all times, I felt the Mother's help. On Sunday mornings when I went to Her for Pranam, She would sometimes ask if it was not inconvenient to take classes at home. She would also explain to me that a good space hid not yet been found. On one such occasion, the Mother asked me,

    Mother - How are your singing classes going?

    I - Fine, Mother.

    Mother - (selecting flowers to give me) I want to teach music to all my children, any kind of music. All the children are entitled to learning music. This, of course, does not mean that all the students will become expert musicians or artists. But it is important for them to learn to appreciate music. In Europe, all the children learn music right from childhood. Many learn to play the piano from a very tender age. Others learn to play other instruments. You know music is a great art that helps man to purify himself. That is why if you have the time,never refuse any child who wants to learn music.

    The Mother handed me the flowers She had selected and remained focused on me for quite some time. I felt very consciously that the Mother was preparing me in order to help me fulfil my responsibilities in the work She had assigned to me.

    My singing classes in the verandah of the Red House did not last very long.

    A few months later, Tinkori-da fell ill and he could no longer go to the Dancing-hall annexe to take his classes. He asked the Mother if he could continue his classes at home, to which the Mother gave consent. I was, therefore, given access

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to those two rooms where he used to conduct his classes. These two rooms are known today in the Music section as Surashri and Sangeeta. I remember it was through Kireet-bhai that the Mother had sent me information that we could use these two rooms for our Music section. Then on the day I went to see the Mother, I asked Her how we were to organise the music classes. She had told me right from the very beginning that the mind and the being are very alert in the morning hours. That is why it was a good time for studies. The music classes could be kept in the afternoon, evening and at night. However, the Mother had clarified that if there were any students who were extremely keen on music and wished to go into it in depth, for students who considered music as their main subject of interest, then these students should also be permitted to study it in the mornings and arrangements were to be made accordingly. And so, taking the Mother's advice, we started classes in the afternoon and at night. In the mornings, I would be busy at school with the French classes in the Free Progress system and in the afternoon and at night, with the singing classes in the Music section. Kireet-bhai made all the arrangements to equip the Music section with the necessary instruments, - harmoniums, tablas, tanpuras, etc. - and storage spaces to keep them properly. Thanks to his focused attention and help, the Music section took shape quite fast. Within a few months or at the most a year, the singing classrooms, the instrument-storage room and the furniture and other fittings were all ready. One day I expressed my gratitude to Kireet-bhai, "Kireet-bhai, what you've done for the Music section as the Registrar of the school is quite extraordinary!" He smiled sweetly and replied, "Shobha-di, all this is the Mother's Grace. But let me tell you one thing since you've brought up the topic. I used to love music very much right from my childhood and I wanted to study it. However, my father refused to let me pursue this interest as he felt it would distract me from my studies. When I look at these little children today, I remember my own childhood dream "

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When I went to see the Mother, I told Her all this. "Mother, the classrooms of the Music section are ready. I have started taking my classes there. But there is a problem. I teach French in the morning at the school, then in the afternoon I work at the Publication. department between 1.30 and 4. I can, therefore, take singing classes only after Group and after dinner. But there are a lot of children who have enrolled for singing classes. Moreover, You have told us that we should not refuse any child who wants to learn music. I have a request to You, Mother: because of increasing work at the school and in the Music section, working also in the Publication department with Prithwisingh-da is becoming a little difficult. Prithwisingh-da tells me that he will be able to manage the department work with Suprabha, Vinod and Madhurika. If I am allowed to focus a little more in the afternoon on my teaching, I feel I can do my work much better. Can I then stop the Publication department work?" The Mother replied, "Yes, do that."

    Thus, I stopped my afternoon duties at the Publication department and became totally absorbed in the Music section work. I spent my entire afternoons in the Music section as it began growing steadily. The Mother would ask me often:

    Mother - How are your singing classes going on? Is everything fine?

    I - Yes, Mother. By Your Grace, the Music section is growing well. Apart from teaching singing, what else can I do in the music classes? What else can I teach the children?

    Mother - Make them listen to good music. Select good pieces of music, like Bach, Beethoven, Mozart or pieces of Indian classical music, the music of ragas. That will be very beautiful. I like that sort of music very much. You will have to make a very fine selection. (then silence, as She began handing me the flowers one by one. The Mother resumed.) There is another thing where you will need to be very vigilant. Never let the students disrespect music. Never. Because pure music comes from a very high level. That is why it is important that they learn to respect music from an early age. From your

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side, never make students hear light music, never. Do you understand?

    I - What is light music, Mother?

    Mother - Music that has no spiritual touch at all. The music that excites the Vital part in us is merely a play of some rhythmic beats. Always avoid that kind of music. Always stay far from light film music. These kinds of music are to be categorically ignored. I don't want any of that.

    After saying this, the Mother looked at me intently for quite some time.

    I - Mother, how can one get that spiritual touch in music?

    Mother - Awaken the aspiration. Pray to the Divine for aspiration.

    I - (touching the Mother's feet) My sweet Mother, I do not know what the Divine is. For me He lives in the seventh heaven. I can't even think of praying to Him. I just know You. I know that Sri Aurobindo is divine. You are everything to me. You are my Divine. I, therefore, bow at Your feet and pray that You help me to experience that pure music, that real music. Make me pure.

    I once again bowed at Her feet. When I raised my head, I noticed She was holding a beautiful Surrender rose, and waiting to give it to me. As soon as I stood up, She continued with a gentle smile:

    Mother - I am not talking to you about that Divine who dwells in the seventh heaven! I am talking about that Supreme Lord who dwells in your being. Within you - here, here! (The Mother placed Her hand on my chest to show me) Try and establish a connection with Him. He is there! He is there!

    A gentle snowfall of tranquillity touched my body, my mind, my heart. I kept looking at the Mother's eyes, unable to utter a word. The Mother too remained silent. Only the eyes communicated. I don't know how long this lasted. Finally, She blessed me and I came out of Her room.

    On another occasion, when the Mother enquired about the Music classes, I told Her, "Mother, you told me to make them hear good music..." The Mother replied before I had

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completed my sentence, "Yes, make them hear good music. Listening to music is very beneficial. If they are very small, then ask them to lie on mats during the class. Ask them to relax their bodies and close their eyes. Play the music, then. Let the music flow, flow through the nerves and tissues of their body. Let it be absorbed. This is most necessary. It is the same with the older students. But they don't have to lie on mats in order to listen to music. Let them sit comfortably in a relaxed position and play the music to them. You can select a deeper kind of music for this group. This regular listening of music will go a long way in helping them in their future life. This will bring about a certain poise in them, a depth of feeling which are most necessary. You need to select the music very carefully." Isaid, "They just have one class a week. Do I make them hear music in that class?" The Mother asked, "Why do they have only one class? Can't they have more than one class?" I replied, "Mother, they have to study a lot. So they can't give more than one period to music." "But, is there nothing to study in music!" the Mother exclaimed. I did not say anything. The Mother remained quiet for a while. She picked up a flower and started playing with it. Then, She said, "What a pity!"

After I got this work from the Mother, life was not just a bed of roses. There were difficulties and obstacles along the way. When news got around that a Music section had been started here and I was given its responsibility, some people in the Ashram were happy and some were not. All kinds of comments and criticisms began. Everyone had something to say. This kept increasing and by the time these remarks came to my ears, they became quite consequential. None of the critics came to me directly, they kept discussing amongst themselves. The ones who were happy would express their joy whenever they met me. After the closure of Sangeetmala, a new chapter was opening in the field of music. They were glad at this new development. Instead of simply ignoring all the negative, critical comments by people I began lending them credence and as a result, I became more and more discouraged. It took such a proportion that one Sunday when I went to see the Mother,

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I blurted out, "Douce Mere, You've given me a very difficult job with this Music section. I don't think I am worthy of this work. Please allow me to go out for some time and train myself a little in the teaching of music."

Hardly had the Mother heard this that She revealed Her furious side. She was indignant. The expression of Her face changed. With a very loud angry voice, She said, "Go out! GO out! Go out again! All you can think of is 'go out'! Why can't you understand that music is within you? Within you? Here! Here!" Saying this, She tapped me hard on my chest twice. In anger, Her lips and cheeks started trembling. I became absolutely cold seeing this aspect of the Mother. That was the last time I ever spoke to the Mother about going out or of my education in teaching music! The first and last!

After this incident, I began feeling quite worthless. How could I have been affected by the criticism of ordinary people when the work was entrusted to me by the Divine Mother Herself? Foolishly, I once again went and told the Mother about it! I felt ashamed and overcome with regret. However, I did not feel like adding one more gaffe while trying to rectify the preceding one. Like a tree feels after a thunderous storm, I felt the same, broken in heart, mind and body. I went to the Ashram quietly and sat near the Samadhi. After some time my being fell completely silent. A wordless prayer rose from within me like a flame of light.

All I ever had,
At Your Feet I lay.
Make me forever Yours,
Your instrument, I pray!

This experience pushed me into being a little more indrawn. I put all my heart and soul into my work at the Music section now. In those days, I was the only one giving singing classes in the Music section. It was not only about taking classes, because We began all kinds of programmes to encourage music in the Ashram. There were recorded music programmes in the Library, both of Indian as well as of Western classical music. Then, the

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Mother had already made arrangements for programmes by Visiting artists. Programmes by artists were 01 the rise. Within the Ashram too, in order to promote the culture of music, all kinds of programmes were being organised. In the school, in the 4^th period on Saturdays, recorded pieces by well-known masters were played both in vocal and instrumental music.

The work of the Music section went on growing. Children of all ages began to join. It became impossible to take their classes together. They had to be divided into different age-groups and in accordance with their musical capability. Naturally for all these different groups, different sorts of musical material had to be prepared. In the initial years, I had to put in a lot of work. It also became difficult for me to take Classes Of all these different levels. One day, finding the right opportunity, I told the Mother, "Mother, whatever songs I had gathered Over the years in my musical collection, I have exhausted. In order to teach all these different levels of students, I need a huge amount of material, a huge collection of songs. I have practically run out of ideas, Mother. What Should I do now?" Looking at me, the Mother said without the slightest hesitation: "Why? Whatever is needed, create. You prepare them." "But, Mother, I do not know how to prepare this. I do not know how to compose music. I can't. Never have i ever thought of composing music!" The Mother kept quiet. She offered me the flowers She had in Her hand and then blessed me. I came away. The rest of the day passed off like other days. I went for my sports activities in the evening as usual and then returned home.

Every evening, upon returning hone from sports, I Would Switch on the soft blue light in my room. This evening too, as I was removing my kitty-cap, I switched on the lamp. Nobody Was home except my mother who was doing her English homework for Sailen-da's class in the adjacent room. I Was humming some tune aloud. Then suddenly my head was abuzz With a ceaseless flow of melodies. One melody after another, one melody after another! All kinds of melodies, melodies I had never heard before. My head was overflowing

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with them! So overwhelmed was I with fear and nervousness, that I had to seat myself on my bed. I started calling out to the Mother, save me, Mother, save me, please. Had I lost my head? Such a thing had never happened to me before. I had never heard such melodies and tunes before. Please save me, Mother! The melodies did not cease to flood my head. Help, Mother, help! The Mother had swept me away in a flood of melodies and I was quite lost. There were no lyrics, it was only sweet notes. What a marvellous world it was! I don't know how long I must have sat on my bed in this state. I felt that this flood of notes had taken the form and shape of music. Like occasional streaks of lightning appear through dense black clouds, some lines of a song began to break through. The lyrics were in Bengali. I quickly rushed to take pencil and paper and began noting them down. It was quite astounding! Unbelievable Bengali poetry accompanied to music came to light that night. I myself could not believe my eyes!

Hearken the call!

I cannot tarry on the shore anymore.
My tryst is with the Beloved
Beyond the ocean without shore.
Whose call doth me with restlessness fill,
As upon my little raft I float,
O, what shall become of me, my Helmsman,
I cannot see where I drift on my boat.
I cannot tarry on the shore anymore.

Who art thou who call'st me thus.?
Call me again, call me yet again!
In your beckoning call, for my union with you.

By the Mother's Grace, a door, as it were, opened in my creative world. I composed the music and wrote the poem that came to me. This was the first time I had ever composed a song. I was eager to share this experience with the Mother. Unfortunately for some reason the Mother was not seeing any

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of us during that time. But progressively, whatever I needed, She revealed within me. Without a doubt, it took quite a lot of time, energy and effort, but with this new capacity that was unveiled in me by Her Grace, my work in the Music section became a little easier. In those days all the students of music had been divided into three groups. I had to give a lot of time and effort to preparing material for these three levels. With the first lot of smaller children, I started with my own compositions or with what I had learnt in Calcutta, songs by Rabindranath and other patriotic types of songs. For the middle and the upper level groups, I began collecting material from Sahana-di and some from my own collection. Conducting all the three levels of classes all by myself was a dauntingly difficult task. Not just this, but the fact of teaching such a large number of students all together made me feel dissatisfied with my classes. The Mother had, however, entrusted me with this responsibility. But at the time of giving me this work, She did not tell me anything else. I had not quite anticipated in the beginning the pressure I would have to handle in executing this new job. Now I began to feel the load of the Music section work (especially as so many students were enrolling for these classes) and my urgent need for help. I began talking to people about my problem and about the possibility of getting help. Sujata Mahatma was the first one to come forward to lend me a hand. We were now two to do the work. After quite some time, a few more people offered to assist and share the workload. I don't recollect clearly, today, whether these people volunteered while the Mother was still in Her physical body or after She had left. In any case, the next opportunity I got to talk to the Mother about the Music section came after quite a long gap when the Mother began to receive people again. When I stood before Her, I had the distinct experience that this long absence of physical contact had made absolutely no difference to Her sense of awareness. She seemed to know about everything that had happened! I touched Her feet and said, "Mother, I had an experience connected to music. You surely know

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about it. I have never heard such music on this earth before! Never! How marvellous that music was, Mother! So utterly new, I can't tell you, Mother!"

    Mother - There is a region above the earth atmosphere which is the world of art and beauty. The music that exists there rarely comes down to our earth. Rarely!

    I - Douce Mere, I am seeing you after a long gap, but Your help, Your grace have continuously been with me, assisting me, protecting me. The work I used to feel at one time to be impossible to accomplish, today reveals Your presence, Your touch, Your light! You are the one who is guiding me along the path, telling me what I should do.

    The experience of being seated at the feet of the Goddess was unmistakable. The Mother spoke:

   Mother - It will come. Everything will come. Everything is here. Here! Here! (the Mother touches my heart very softly) Whenever I give someone a responsibility, I also keep giving the necessary strength to fulfil it. But when I see that the person is incapable of taking on the responsibility, I look for another instrument. (The Mother places Hen hand on my head and continues) Have faith in me and keep walking. Everything will surely come. Everything will come.

    I - (keeping my hands on Her feet) O Omnipotent Mother, You who can triumph over all, I have received a touch of Your grace. I aspire to become more worthy of You. Grant me strength so that You may make of me a worthier instrument.

    Mother - My blessings will always be with you. Always.

    My long association with the Music section has enabled me to live through many events and incidents. Let me share with you some of these here.

    I am talking about the time when the Mother had left Her physical body. Once, a group of young students were dancing to some light music in front of the Drinking-water room in the school at about 4.30 in the afternoon when there was nobody around. Kireet-bhai, our Registrar then, was working in his office at that time. Hearing this loud music, he went up to these boys and asked them to stop it at once. The music and

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the dancing stopped. Then the same incident recurred another day. This time, he did not tell them anything but came directly to see me. He recounted the entire episode. Some of these boys were students of the Music section. I suggested going to Sunil-da and taking his advice. He agreed. We went and acquainted Sunil-da with the incident. After listening to us, he observed, "It would be good to introduce them to some kind of spiritual music which could touch them at a deeper level and perhaps bring about a change in their natural inclination. However, we don't have this kind of music in our reach that we can give to our students. Teach them classical music. Classical music has never done any harm to anyone. Try it out." At once, on getting this advice from Sunil-da, I got down to implementing it. I had learnt classical music for quite some time in my music school in Calcutta when I lived there. So I myself began acquainting them with classical music in the beginning. The Mother had, however, warned me that in order to teach classical music, competent teachers were required. She had also told me that classical music was not for me. She wanted me to compose music that was original and mine, that came from the depth of my being. Being extremely respectful of the Mother's guidance, I began looking in earnest for some classical music teachers and found one in Arunbishnu. In those days, he used to learn classical music from his father, Monibishnu Chowdhury. As soon as I came to know of this, I went and requested Monibishnu-da to take classes in the Music section. He declined. I then asked him if he would teach me classical music. To this he readily agreed. Around this time, I traced another lady in the Ashram, Shirin Shroff, who was an exponent of the Kirana gharana and used to teach vocal music in Hyderabad. After getting to know about the Music section, she agreed to take some classes and also began teaching me classical music in its different facets with a lot of care and attention. In a very short time I was able to start my education in two different styles of classical music from these two teachers in the Ashram. With one, I got into the ustadi style that consisted in going very deep into a raga and learning

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about free improvisation which was indeed the heart of classical music learning. With the other teacher, I learnt how to make use of raga-singing at the students' level and render it accessible to their aptitude and reach. Both these facets were needed in the Music section. Some time after the start of these classical music classes, a few of the boys who had pushed Kireet-bhai to rethink on how the menace of light music and dance was to be tackled, joined a class of classical music with Arunbishnu. After this, these boys never had that sort of problem again.

The influence and importance of classical music gradually began to increase in the Ashram. The Mother told me once that She wanted all Her children to learn music, some sort of music. In the course of years we had an influx of several teachers of music into the Ashram and now there exist ample opportunities to learn Carnatic or Hindustani vocal, Sitar, Sarod, Flute, Esraj, Tabla, Piano, Recorder, Violin, Cello, Synthesizer, Guitar, etc.

Today, after all these years of working in the Music section and after having come in contact with numerous renowned visiting artists, I feel deeply that it is not enough to have good teachers of music or have at our disposal limitless possibilities of learning music. One has to have the right temperament for music and deep within oneself, a true, genuine urge and aspiration to pursue this great art.

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The Music Section

Poems by Sri Aurobindo

Spiritual Significance of Flowers

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