Down Memory Lane

The Journey Begins

In 1949, when I decided to go to Pondicherry, things got arranged quite smoothly. The Advocate with whom I was working then to get training to start my own practice, knew a Solicitor, who was connected with the Ashram, his younger brother Uday Singh Nahar having settled down at Pondicherry. The Mother's permission for my visit for the 21st February Darshan was obtained and as the Nahars were on the look-out for some companion for Uday Singh's wife who was returning to Pondicherry at that very time, it was a nice coincidence for us on the long journey.

The Howrah-Madras Mail took more than 36 hours to reach Madras (Central) where we had to take another train for Pondicherry which would leave from the other Madras station, Egmore. Uday Singh had come down to Madras from Pondicherry to receive us and we were first taken to the house of Mahadeo Dalmia, a devotee of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and friend of Uday Singh. In fact, he was a friend to all devotees of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and cared for them when they came to Madras. He also attended to the Madras matters of the Ashram. His General Swadeshi Stores in the Esplanade area of the city had become a rendezvous for people connected with the Ashram. The Dalmia family hailed from Rajasthan, the home State of my ancestors, and he had the hospitality typical of that State. We had good bath, food and rest at his house before boarding the metre gauge rambling night train for Pondicherry.

Early next morning, we arrived at the Railway Station of Pondicherry, built in French style. The train had reached its destination and for the travellers too the destination had come.

For me it turned out to be both a destination and a starting-point for another journey.

It would be a journey of another dimension.

I was 22 then.

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Uday Singh took me to his house first. It was not in the so called Ashram area. It was about two miles from the main Ashram building, further down the present Sports Ground. Hospitable and loving as he was, he made me stay with him for some days until I could persuade him to shift me to an Ashram Guest House. I got a room at Golconde, allotted by Mother.

Even after my shifting from his house, Uday Singh continued to take affectionate care of me. It would be like that during my next visits also to the Ashram for which he was my contact person with the Mother.

After my two week stay at the Ashram, I returned to the Calcutta routine. The next Darshan date was April 24. In the middle of April I had to go to Bombay for some work. The work was over earlier than expected and I felt the urge to go for the Darshan. I was aware of the need of prior permission from Mother and also of the fact that for the 24th April Darshan the number of visitors allowed, although not fixed, used to be less. I immediately sent a telegram to Uday Singh for permission. A few hours later, as not much time was left, I got my berth reserved in the train and sent another telegram informing my Pondicherry arrival time.

Uday Singh told me what happened later with a twinkle in his eye. When he was going up to see Mother with my telegrams, Nolinida was coming down the stairs with her reply in another case that no more permission was possible. Uday Singh first got a similar reply, yet he pleaded like a Solicitor's brother, "But, Mother, this young fellow is no longer asking for permission. He is already on his way after asking for it." Mother smiled and said Yes and my accommodation was arranged.

Uday Singh had a very sweet relationship with Mother, like a child of hers. He complimented me for the second telegram, advising me to go by the heart's voice.

Once some jewellery items used by Mother were made available to devotees. I chose some items, one of which was a watch for my wife. It was a ladies' watch and when Uday Singh told Mother that it was for my wife, she asked jokingly, "Has he a wife?". And when I went to Mother to receive the jewellery

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she began pinning them on my shirt, and when she took the watch in her hand, I was a bit hesitant in bringing my wrist forward as it was a ladies' watch. She smiled and remarked that I was feeling shy.

In another trip of mine the train arrived late and I missed the Balcony Darshan. When Uday Singh dropped me at Golconde, I asked him if it would be possible to see Mother on the staircase. He said that she was very busy then, but he would try to ask her. Shortly afterwards, when I was in the bathroom, he knocked at the door and informed me that Mother had said that she would see me but I should not speak. I hurried up and rushed to the Ashram and got blessed by her touch. I had nothing in mind to speak about, and I took her words quite literally for the future also. I felt it was up to Mother to start speaking to me. A time came when Mother did the first speaking!

I never consulted anyone about my understanding in the above matter.

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In course of time I came into contact with other persons who also were helpful and some of whom had been introduced by Uday Singh who had sometimes to go out when I was there. My outer contact with him gradually dwindled away without affecting our inner relation.

One day I heard about his passing away after a heart-attack when he wanted to take out his car. I immediately went to the garage where his body was still lying with serene peace on his face. I could also see a trace of his habitual smile which would have faded away with the stroke. It happened in 1972. He was 62 then.

Uday Singh told me several interesting anecdotes and I still remember some of them.

About Uday Singh's youngest daughter someone had asked Mother why she was given the name Sweet. "Because she is sweet", said Mother.

Someone had complained about his 'no progress' in spite of his physical proximity to Mother. Sri Aurobindo gave the instance of the table lamp on his desk, always near him, which

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he daily touched with his own hands for use, and for years, and which yet remained but a table lamp.

Dara, when told by Sri Aurobindo that' God was everywhere, asked whether there was God in the desk in front of him. Sri Aurobindo, who was sitting on a chair with his legs stretched upon the desk, raised one of his legs and brought it down on the desk, saying "Yes', and Dara saw God present there.

When an Ashramite's foolish behaviour was reported, Sri Aurobindo remarked that common sense was the first thing people surrendered here.

When Indira Devi did not want to go back to her family, the family Guru, who was a tantrik, made an occult attack on her body. Her life was in danger. After intense pain and vomiting blood she swooned into unconsciousness. Mother saw the tantrik's action behind it and countered it. She was saved.

A well-known disciple was once declined an interview by Mother. When his daughter living at the Ashram told her that he wanted to ask her something about some work, Mother said, "But he does just the opposite of what I say."

A rich visitor, who had raised big expectations by his promise of sending money to meet the Ashram's deficit, sent a hundred rupees on his return. Mother went to Sri Aurobindo with the hundred rupee note and said that she felt like sending it back to the man with a letter. Sri Aurobindo said, "Then you may lose even this hundred."

A disciple complained against another one who took money from Mother first to start his unit, then for its running expenses, and when the product came, asked her

the market price. Mother said, "I am not a businessman", and continued with him as before.

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