Memories of First Darshan

Captured by Her Eyes

The words — "God, Light, Bliss, Freedom, Immortality" — found a responsive chord within me. I knew I had found my Guru who promised me all that I was seeking and more: the Delight of Existence on this very earth.

. . .

I asked for permission to see Him for November 24th darshan in 1950. But I was told that He was not well, and I should wait for the February darshan. But He left His body on the 5th December 1950.

. . .

I wanted to pay my homage. So I decided to fly to Madras. . . . I got my ticket for the 8th. . . .

We arrived by train in the evening [of 9th], when the body of Sri Aurobindo was already interred. . . . I joined the line of people at the head of the Samadhi. . . Tears uninterruptedly rolled down, but my aspiration became stronger and my prayer as intense. It was all offered to Him, my Guru and the Lord.

. . .

People told me: "You can see the Mother. For She has the same Consciousness as Sri Aurobindo." I did not understand, nor did I know anything about the Mother. . . . The Mother gave darshan on the 12th December. I waited in the queue not knowing what awaited me, but aspiring as intensely for that golden moment. When I stood before the Mother, my eyes were captured by Her eyes. Neither of us blinked. I knew nothing else. I was transfixed. I could not move till the Mother nodded with a smile and handed me the card with Sri Aurobindo's last photo. I moved on still looking into Her beautiful eyes as if they followed me wherever I went. . . .

- Kailas Jhaveri

(I am with you by Kailas Jhaveri, published by Aditi-Utsang, Balasore, 2004, pp. 2–6)