Memories of First Darshan

Recollections

1. First "Darshan" of the Mother

My first sight of the Mother was on the very day I reached Pondicherry on December 16, 1927. I had been taken by Pujalal, who had received my wife and me at the station, to Purani's room — previously Sri Aurobindo's for 6 years and afterwards mine for 9. Looking out the north window I saw the Mother walking on the roof-terrace of her house, drying in the sun her just-shampooed hair. This was the most enchanting vision and my heart leapt out to her and since then has kept leaping. The word "leap" is very appropriate to my response to her as compared to my answer to the Divine Call through Sri Aurobindo. I do not leap but sweep towards Sri Aurobindo. A warm deeply reverent continuity of movement is experienced in regard to him, whereas in regard to the Mother there is always a swift and sudden movement of exultation. If I may pick up a clue from this last word, I may say that face to face with the Mother I feel my heart intensely exultant. Fronting Sri Aurobindo I know my heart to be immensely exalted. The heart is concerned and dynamised in either case — profound love is astir, but on the one side it is tugged by a dazzle of beauty and bliss while on the other it is drawn by a tranquil glow of compassionate grandeur.

15.6.1992

2. First Darshan Day

. . . my first Darshan Day was approaching — it was the 21st of February [1928], the Mother's birthday. People were not very encouraging at that time, they left me in doubt whether I would be able to attend the Darshan or not. Up to almost the last minute I didn't know my fate. I had to go and scrutinise the list of names put up. At last I found my name. "Good!" I said, "I am lucky to be allowed." Later I took my place in the queue. Of course in those days the queue was a small one: I think there were only 40 people staying in the Ashram and perhaps as many visitors.

The Darshan used to be in the long front room upstairs. I went in my turn — first, of course, to the Mother because Sri Aurobindo I didn't know, while the Mother I had seen again and again. I knelt down at her feet, she blessed me; then I went to Sri Aurobindo's feet and looked at him. My physical mind came right to the front: "What sort of a person is Sri Aurobindo? How does he look?" I saw him sitting very grandly, with an aquiline nose, smallish eyes, fine moustaches and a thin beard. . . . I was examining him thoroughly. At length I made my Pranam. He put both his hands on my head — that was his way — a most delightful way with his very soft palms. I took my leave, looking at him again. . . .

The next day I met the Mother and asked her: "Mother, did Sri Aurobindo say anything about me?" She answered: "Well, he just said that you had a good face."

3. An Impression of Radiance

Q: Would you describe your first darshan with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother? What experiences did you have with them?

The first darshan with the Mother I had the impression of a radiance all around her. When I first saw Sri Aurobindo I had the sense of something leonine, as well as a mountainous calm. He leaned forward and blessed me with both hands about my head. The Mother kept smiling all the time as if to set me at ease in the presence of Sri Aurobindo. My turn to go to them was to follow an American couple that I overheard discussing whom to bow to first. They solved the problem by bowing between them. This way they touched the feet of neither but had the rare experience of being blessed by both of them at the same time.

. . . Sri Aurobindo had a soft, very soft voice, I am told, but I never heard him speak.

(1999)

- Amal Kiran (K. D. Sethna)

1. Life-Poetry-Yoga, Some Personal Letters, Vol. 3, pp. 30–31.
2. Light and Laughter — Some Talks at Pondicherry by Amal Kiran and Nirodbaran, "Talk One" delivered by Amal on August 26, 1970, p. 14.
3. The Golden Path – Interviews with Disciples of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother from the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and Auroville by Anie Nunnally, published by East West Cultural Center, California, 2004, pp. 11–12.