Down Memory Lane

The Journey Begins

In 1949, when I decided to go to Pondicherry, things got arranged quite smoothly. The Advocate with whom I was working then to get training to start my own practice, knew a Solicitor, who was connected with the Ashram, his younger brother Uday Singh Nahar having settled down at Pondicherry. The Mother's permission for my visit for the 21st February Darshan was obtained and as the Nahars were on the look-out for some companion for Uday Singh's wife who was returning to Pondicherry at that very time, it was a nice coincidence for us on the long journey.

The Howrah-Madras Mail took more than 36 hours to reach Madras (Central) where we had to take another train for Pondicherry which would leave from the other Madras station, Egmore. Uday Singh had come down to Madras from Pondicherry to receive us and we were first taken to the house of Mahadeo Dalmia, a devotee of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and friend of Uday Singh. In fact, he was a friend to all devotees of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and cared for them when they came to Madras. He also attended to the Madras matters of the Ashram. His General Swadeshi Stores in the Esplanade area of the city had become a rendezvous for people connected with the Ashram. The Dalmia family hailed from Rajasthan, the home State of my ancestors, and he had the hospitality typical of that State. We had good bath, food and rest at his house before boarding the metre gauge rambling night train for Pondicherry.

Early next morning, we arrived at the Railway Station of Pondicherry, built in French style. The train had reached its destination and for the travellers too the destination had come.

For me it turned out to be both a destination and a starting-point for another journey.

It would be a journey of another dimension.

I was 22 then.

Page 1

Uday Singh took me to his house first. It was not in the so called Ashram area. It was about two miles from the main Ashram building, further down the present Sports Ground. Hospitable and loving as he was, he made me stay with him for some days until I could persuade him to shift me to an Ashram Guest House. I got a room at Golconde, allotted by Mother.

Even after my shifting from his house, Uday Singh continued to take affectionate care of me. It would be like that during my next visits also to the Ashram for which he was my contact person with the Mother.

After my two week stay at the Ashram, I returned to the Calcutta routine. The next Darshan date was April 24. In the middle of April I had to go to Bombay for some work. The work was over earlier than expected and I felt the urge to go for the Darshan. I was aware of the need of prior permission from Mother and also of the fact that for the 24th April Darshan the number of visitors allowed, although not fixed, used to be less. I immediately sent a telegram to Uday Singh for permission. A few hours later, as not much time was left, I got my berth reserved in the train and sent another telegram informing my Pondicherry arrival time.

Uday Singh told me what happened later with a twinkle in his eye. When he was going up to see Mother with my telegrams, Nolinida was coming down the stairs with her reply in another case that no more permission was possible. Uday Singh first got a similar reply, yet he pleaded like a Solicitor's brother, "But, Mother, this young fellow is no longer asking for permission. He is already on his way after asking for it." Mother smiled and said Yes and my accommodation was arranged.

Uday Singh had a very sweet relationship with Mother, like a child of hers. He complimented me for the second telegram, advising me to go by the heart's voice.

Once some jewellery items used by Mother were made available to devotees. I chose some items, one of which was a watch for my wife. It was a ladies' watch and when Uday Singh told Mother that it was for my wife, she asked jokingly, "Has he a wife?". And when I went to Mother to receive the jewellery

Page 2

she began pinning them on my shirt, and when she took the watch in her hand, I was a bit hesitant in bringing my wrist forward as it was a ladies' watch. She smiled and remarked that I was feeling shy.

In another trip of mine the train arrived late and I missed the Balcony Darshan. When Uday Singh dropped me at Golconde, I asked him if it would be possible to see Mother on the staircase. He said that she was very busy then, but he would try to ask her. Shortly afterwards, when I was in the bathroom, he knocked at the door and informed me that Mother had said that she would see me but I should not speak. I hurried up and rushed to the Ashram and got blessed by her touch. I had nothing in mind to speak about, and I took her words quite literally for the future also. I felt it was up to Mother to start speaking to me. A time came when Mother did the first speaking!

I never consulted anyone about my understanding in the above matter.

*

* *

In course of time I came into contact with other persons who also were helpful and some of whom had been introduced by Uday Singh who had sometimes to go out when I was there. My outer contact with him gradually dwindled away without affecting our inner relation.

One day I heard about his passing away after a heart-attack when he wanted to take out his car. I immediately went to the garage where his body was still lying with serene peace on his face. I could also see a trace of his habitual smile which would have faded away with the stroke. It happened in 1972. He was 62 then.

Uday Singh told me several interesting anecdotes and I still remember some of them.

About Uday Singh's youngest daughter someone had asked Mother why she was given the name Sweet. "Because she is sweet", said Mother.

Someone had complained about his 'no progress' in spite of his physical proximity to Mother. Sri Aurobindo gave the instance of the table lamp on his desk, always near him, which

Page 3

he daily touched with his own hands for use, and for years, and which yet remained but a table lamp.

Dara, when told by Sri Aurobindo that' God was everywhere, asked whether there was God in the desk in front of him. Sri Aurobindo, who was sitting on a chair with his legs stretched upon the desk, raised one of his legs and brought it down on the desk, saying "Yes', and Dara saw God present there.

When an Ashramite's foolish behaviour was reported, Sri Aurobindo remarked that common sense was the first thing people surrendered here.

When Indira Devi did not want to go back to her family, the family Guru, who was a tantrik, made an occult attack on her body. Her life was in danger. After intense pain and vomiting blood she swooned into unconsciousness. Mother saw the tantrik's action behind it and countered it. She was saved.

A well-known disciple was once declined an interview by Mother. When his daughter living at the Ashram told her that he wanted to ask her something about some work, Mother said, "But he does just the opposite of what I say."

A rich visitor, who had raised big expectations by his promise of sending money to meet the Ashram's deficit, sent a hundred rupees on his return. Mother went to Sri Aurobindo with the hundred rupee note and said that she felt like sending it back to the man with a letter. Sri Aurobindo said, "Then you may lose even this hundred."

A disciple complained against another one who took money from Mother first to start his unit, then for its running expenses, and when the product came, asked her

the market price. Mother said, "I am not a businessman", and continued with him as before.

Page 4

Rishabhchand

Just a few days after my arrival at Pondicherry, when my host came to know about my literary taste, he took me to Rishabhchand, who was a relative of his and one of the early Ashramites. Rishabhchand hailed from a Jain family settled at Calcutta, the ancestors having lived in the interior of Bengal. The family had grown in silk business; they were the owners of the famous Eastern Silk House. Rishabhchand himself was involved in the family trade before joining the Sri Aurobindo Ashram.

Well-versed in the writings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, a man of refined taste and culture, engaged in sadhana, unassuming, he took kindly to me when I was introduced to him after getting an appointment. His living room was on the first floor of the premises of the Ashram Furniture Service, which was located on the ground floor and of which he was the Manager. For matters not connected with the furniture work he generally met people upstairs.

I was a young lover of Sri Aurobindo's poetry. The first edition of his Collected Poems and Plays had come out in 1942. His play Perseus the Deliverer was among the first items of his read by me. Rishabhchand spoke of the mantric quality of Sri Aurobindo's poem Rose of God, and later, also of The Bird of Fire. He gave an impressive reading of Rose of God and the next morning I read it myself. I was not able to follow the meaning. Further attempts also did not yield much result. Rishabhchand then advised me to go on reading it without the attempt to understand its meaning mentally, but to let the words go down within me. And it worked. I then came to know how to read mantric poetry.

When I started the Hindi bi-monthly Ma he sent his contributions with pleasure. He appreciated the journal's standard and my translation of his English articles. Later he even wrote some articles in Hindi to which he was not accustomed, and gave me the liberty to improve it. Once I had changed the title of his article "The place of the Mother in Sri Aurobindo's Yoga" into

Page 5

"Sri Aurobindo's Yoga and the Mother", as I had the feeling that to speak of the "place of the Mother" in Sri Aurobindo's Yoga was not so correct for Mother was the Divine Mother of the Yoga of Sri Aurobindo. Rishabhchand was annoyed and frank about it. I was advised not to take such liberties in future, but he was not at all rude or impolite as a writer of his standing could have been. He was a gentleman.

After settling down at Pondicherry, I had taken up the translation of Sri Aurobindo's The Life Divine into Hindi. When I was facing difficulties from several quarters, Rishabhchand willingly agreed to help me. I went to him regularly at a fixed hour for the revision of the translation. Once I did not go due to a fever. Having waited for ten minutes for me, he himself walked down to my house, inquired about my well-being, and said that as it was Mother's work we could do it there itself if I was not too unwell. It was a pointer to the correct attitude of a sadhak of karma-yoga. We worked that day and during the next days also he kept on coming until I recovered and was able to resume my visits to his place.

In the revision of the translation, sometimes I was not very happy over his advice or we both were unsure. He himself found a way that I would refer such points to Nolini-da and adopt his choice. Obviously, Nolini-da was the best referee, but it needed Rishabhchand's humility to adopt this course.

I also remember an occasion when a matter was referred to Mother by me in a letter in consultation with Rishabhchand who was in agreement with my view and even offered that his name could be mentioned in my letter. Mother's reply was not in accordance with our view and expectations. His reaction was of quiet acceptance and it was a good experience for me.

In course of time Rishabhchand's health started failing. He passed sleepless nights and suffered from headache in the daytime. It was becoming more and more difficult for him to do the concentrated mental work of the revision of the translation of The Life Divine.

All of a sudden, one day I got the news that his body was found floating in the sea. I had seen him only a day before as usual. How it happened, we still don't know. His end came in the year 1970 when he was 70.

I remember some anecdotes narrated by him.

Page 6

He spoke of an intelligent visitor who, after three days of stay at the Ashram, said to Mother, "When I look at you, I do not want to leave; when I look at the people here, I do not want to stay".

An Ashramite felt unhappy when he was not given by Mother the book The Mother' whereas a friend of his received it. Mother first said, "This book is for sadhakas", and then added with a smile, "You are my child".

When a disciple found that Dr. S. Radhakrishnan had taken some material verbatim from Sri Aurobindo's writings and incorporated it as his own in a book of his, he wanted to write about this plagiarism and asked for Sri Aurobindo's approval. Sri Aurobindo said, "But so long as he is saying what I am saying, he is doing my work !"

He spoke of the visit of a big group of pilgrims from the North. One of them used to suddenly start jumping around, more so when in worship, and it was said that it happened when Hanuman came into him. The problem was that they wanted to meditate in the Meditation Hall in Mother's presence and it could not be pleasant to see this man jumping around. Mother was informed of it when the request for permission was placed before her, but she allowed all to come. His jumping ceased from then.

Page 7

Nolinida

I was introduced to Nolinida towards the end of my first visit to the Ashram. Narayan Prasad Bindu had made the appointment for the first meeting. We met in Madhav's room which was then being used by Nolinida in the afternoons for such meetings. I wanted to know from him about working for funds for the Ashram. His advice was similar to that which Sri Aurobindo has written in The Mother. A man of few words, he was quite clear to me all the same.

Our relationship developed in due course. I often wrote to him from Calcutta and his replies were prompt. In spite of his usual succinctness, his inner warmth was not missed by me.

Once a cyst had grown on my face. I did not want to have surgery and started homeopathic treatment, simultaneously informing the Mother about it. Nolinida sent me Mother's blessings and wrote, "Keep us informed." The day the cyst burst, I was happy to send the news.

I had placed an order with the Arya Publishing House at Calcutta for a set of Sri Aurobindo's books being published in USA. Some advance amount was paid and when the books arrived I was asked to pay the full amount as I had lost the advance payment receipt. The local Manager told me that that was the procedure laid down by the Ashram and I could approach Nolinida. So I had to write to him for this petty matter. He advised that the fact of the payment should be accepted and added, "There should have been no difficulty about it."

When Nolinida's article The Message of Sri Aurobindo appeared, I translated it into Hindi for a Hindi journal of high standing. The journal sent me a money order for it which I forwarded to Nolinida. He wrote back that in fairness half of it belonged to me, so the whole amount went from both of us to Mother.

In order to acquaint the Hindi readers with the work of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, there was the idea that suitable

Page 8

articles should go to Hindi journals from time to time. Mother had approved that I could do it without asking for her permission every time which was the practice then. The response of the Hindi world was good, one may say. The famous orthodox journal 'Kalyan', having the largest circulation in the country, also responded by publishing some passages from Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

Sometimes I wrote to Nolinida asking for clarifications in order to understand what Sri Aurobindo meant at certain places. He would gladly oblige.

After settling down in Pondicherry, I had taken up the translation of Sri Aurobindo's The Life Divine into Hindi. In course of time, I incurred heavy displeasure of the Hindi establishment at the Ashram. I lost some good friends also as a result, but I carried on, getting more determined with every attack. Madanlal Himatsingka, who was engaged in publishing the Hindi set of Sri Aurobindo's writings in the 'Sri Aurobindo Sahitya Sangraha' series with the Sri Aurobindo Society imprint, was firm in his resolve to publish the translation being done by me, and Rishabhchand had come to my rescue and help in improving the translation. After the passing of Rishabhchand, Nolinida received me daily for the purpose. I went to him in the morning, about his soup time, with my note of points and the book, and get his answers. It continued for some months. In between he was unwell at times, but he would sit with me in spite of the long faces of some persons around. Only once, lying in his bed, he said, "Today it is not possible", with regret on his face.

In the course of the translation work, sometimes, in the absence of a suitable word, Nolinida would smilingly say, "Then let us coin a new word". With his genius he could do it. Although he knew only little of Hindi, his mastery of Sanskrit and Bengali helped me out. One of the new words coined was 'avagudha' for subliminal. For me his advice was enlightening, but he was never insistent, like a truly learned man.

I remember how carefully we had to go through the sentences to ascertain the noun for which the word 'it' was used by Sri Aurobindo at certain places.

After the translation was published, Madanlal asked Nolinida

Page 9

about the quality of my translation. He said that it was a difficult job.

Later, I took up the translation of Srimadbhagwadgita into English. It was finalised with the valuable assistance of Nolinida. Waiting outside Mother's room for our turn, we went over the points I had noted for the day. Being a scholar of Sanskrit and a student of Sri Aurobindo for the Vedas, he would at once delve into the root of the Sanskrit word, I being ill-equipped to assist him in this direction. For this translation I always referred to Sri Aurobindo's Essays on the Gita and Anil Baran Roy's translation of the Gita. Nolinida spoke to me of the translation of the first six chapters done by Sri Aurobindo in his early days, of which I was unaware till then. "You will enjoy his old English," he said. And I did.

Once Mother received a number of Rolex wrist watches. One she gave to Amrita, another to Nirod. "Nolini does not need a watch," she said, and gave him a dictionary.

Nolinida was so punctual in his routine that it is said that people checked the correctness of their watches with his arrival at certain places.

In the year 1966 I had joined Nolinida's class. It was called his French class. I think I was the youngest of the lot. We were about 20 students. The class was a good experience for me. On 2.1.1967 I gave a letter for Mother to Nolinida. The question was:

In 1958 the Mother said, "If things go on advancing at this speed, it seems more than possible, almost evident, that what Sri Aurobindo wrote in a letter is a prophetic announcement: The supramental consciousness will enter a phase of realising power in 1967."

Have things advanced at the required speed?

In reply Mother wrote a big Yes.

The letter was in French. Nolinida read it out in the class as a part of the usual reading of Mother's messages in French. When the class was ending, he said in Bengali, "Now I return the thing to whom it belongs", beckoned me and handed over the letter with a smile.

One day the text dictated to us in the class was the one where Mother says that for the seekers human blows come from the

Page 10

working of the Grace. It soothened me as at that very time I had received a heavy blow from a friend and helped me to take it calmly.

In the year 1969 Nolinida received a big birthday card from Mother with a very significant message:

En route towards the superman

Coming out of Mother's room he happily invited me to come to his, room and see it. Shortly after, when I came down from Mother's room, I went to Nolinida. He had forgotten why he had asked me to come! We had a hearty laugh.

Once Nolinida came to the Last School at Auroville to speak on Human Unity. The organiser of the meeting, on the spur of the moment, asked me to speak first. I just said one sentence that human unity was to be achieved not by any outer means but by inner process. Nolinida then began his talk prefacing it with the humorous remark that he wished he could be as brief as I on that occasion, but he would not take long either. He gave his short talk of some minutes which was highly appreciated.

In the year 1976 there was a weird behaviour of the majority of the Ashram's establishment hierarchy in respect of Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society represented by myself and Madanlal Himatsingka. Most of the Ashram residents were under the influence of these toppers. When the situation was desperate for us, Mother appeared before me and I heard her words, "Go to Counouma". It happened at midnight in the Matrimandir office where I had gone to make some phone calls which were not coming through. Next morning, when I had disclosed that I was going to Counouma, it sounded a bit crazy for Counouma was on the other side. But I did not have the least hesitation as, for me, it was Mother's direction. I went to Counouma in full faith, told him about what happened in the night and left everything in his hands. He reacted positively and, as indicated by him, came to see me shortly after, and things started moving forward.

In two three days the matter was settled to the dismay of the hawks. Immediately Counouma took Harikantbhai and myself to Nolinida to give him the news. Nolinida felt immensely relaxed and happy. When Counouma mentioned my role in it,

Page 11

Nolinida said, "I relied on him for it", and looked so happily at us.

Once when Nolinida came to see Auroville, he came to my dwelling room also. It was a pleasure for the neighbours as well.

About that time when a controversy was going on at the Matrimandir about the details of the design, I myself not being very sure about the matter, referred it to Nolinida, regarding him as the best judge for it. He said that the 24 metre diameter of the Inner Chamber could be either way, inside or outside. This settled my wavering and his view was acceptable at Auroville also then. As for the twelve columns in the Chamber, he agreed with me that these should be there, and lastly, the change in the staircase design did not matter. The Matrimandir work proceeded accordingly.

Once on receipt of a letter from a resident of Auroville stating that the reply communicated to him by me was different from the one given by Nolini a bit earlier, Mother had said that she did not remember about it and told me to verify it from Nolini and to ask him to pass letters concerning Auroville through me. Nolinida also did not remember having given the answer as alleged in the letter and said that Mother had spoken to him when she entrusted the Auroville work to me and since then he had not been dealing with Auroville letters.

When the Auroville Society was formed, some persons wrote to him from Auroville about it. He referred them to me. But gradually he stopped referring Auroville matters to me. He was communicating directly and his views began to be different from mine and more according to the line adopted by the Ashram and Society etsablishments.

On one occasion a note was sent by him containing a formula of reconciliation between Sri Aurobindo Society and Auroville. The first steps were taken by Auroville Society and when Sri Aurobindo Society backed out, Nolinida expressed his helplessness. Since then my position in Auroville went on deteriorating.

Once Nolinida advised me to withdraw from Auroville and let things take their course. I could not follow this advice as I felt it contrary to what Mother had spoken to me. But then the hawks made this advice of his known as a point against me and in their favour.

Page 12

Later, Nolinida advised me to dissolve the Auroville Society, although it was no more in my hands. He said that this advice had come to him from the highest consciousness. I asked him whether it had come to him from Mother, to which he replied that he wouldn't say that. After some days I wavered and advised the Auroville Society for dissolution. The Auroville Society friends did not agree and I lost bdth ways.

Nolinida himself used to say that he should not be asked about worldly matters. For such things he often declined to advise and he himself depended on Counouma for such matters concerning the Ashram. In his dealings with Auroville also, from a certain point of time, it seems, he left himself to be guided by Counouma who, he knew well, was not given Auroville work by Mother. It was unfortunate for Mother's Auroville, but that is what happened.

Once when I suggested to Nolinida that the Ashram, Society and Auroville, all the three should become one, he replied, "The time has not come". That was again not his own voice. That was the time when they were fighting the way only brothers can, and the fight has not ended yet.

Nolinida, in the course of time, withdrew from outer work. His health failing, he would go in the evening for a drive in the car. One evening, during my stroll on the sea-side, when I saw him passing in the car, he looked out towards me and my old memories revived. When I returned home, Suresh Joshi came with his message that he saw me surrounded by dangers and difficulties with Mother protecting me and that I should always rely on her alone.

It was always an experience to hear Nolinida speak of Mother.

It is said that when in response to Mother's call, gods and goddesses descended upon the Ashram in the thirties, Varuna descended into him.

He passed away on 2.2.84 at the age of 95 after a long illness during which he used to be indrawn and had many fresh experiences.

I remember him as one of those to whom Mother had said, "If ever I go, my consciousness will remain with you."

I remember his peaceful face and his love for me.

Page 13

Madhav Pandit

It was in 1949, the first year of my visit to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. I was in the long queue for the Darshan of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. A bright youth came out of a room and asked me whether I would be interested in having a photo of the Mother, a costly one. I nodded and took it the next day. That was the start of my association with Madhavji, born out of a spontaneous feeling of his that made him choose me, an unknown face till then for him, from the middle of the crowd, for a picture of the Mother, a picture I have always cherished. It is one of her photos taken in Japan.

The association that started then, grew into a happy lifelong brotherhood.

Of course he was my elder by a decade, but I respected him, not merely because he was my elder, but because of his qualities. He never treated me as if he was my elder or superior, and this too was one of his qualities.

Years later, in 1971 or so, while sitting on the staircase for going to the Mother, Madhavji suddenly asked me whether I was willing to be a member of the World Union Executive Committee, without much to do, but just to attend the meetings. He knew that I was preoccupied in the Auroville work. On getting my assent he asked the Mother immediately, in the next few' minutes, and I became a member of the World Union Committee with Mother's happy approval. As far as I remember, I attended only one meeting, and that was the end of it. It happened that way probably because I have been unlucky in committees.

In the early fifties my young son Nirmal, who had come with me on a visit, chose to stay on at the Ashram. Mother admitted him to the Ashram school, but the boarding houses- there were just a few then- were all full. As the period of my stay at the Ashram was coming to an end, I went to Madhavji a bit concerned about the arrangement for the child's stay. His answer was brief but reassuring, "When Mother has admitted

Page 14

the child, it is our responsibility to arrange accommodation for him. She has told me not to mind the cost." Shortly after, he sent me a word that a new house had been just taken on rent by the Mother, and the boy was to be put there. It became the Michele Boarding. He also advised me to see, before leaving for Calcutta, that the boy was feeling happy there.

In the early period of my visits to the Ashram I had translated Sri Aurobindo's booklet 'Conversations of the Dead' into Hindi. At Pondicherry, one morning, when I was passing by the office of Madhavji, I was beckoned in and asked by him whether I had received a copy of the above Hindi translation which had since come out as a booklet. I hadn't and Madhavji handed me one or two copies saying, "I thought so; here such proprieties are neglected."

Once when I was in the Darshan queue, my permission card was checked by Madhavji in a pleasant manner. On another occasion, when I was sitting unknowingly at a place which should have been left empty, he asked me to occupy another place which he pointed out courteously. Many others, including myself, have had occasions where we were treated rudely by some Ashramites and I learned to take these things lightly for the sake of my own progress.

Madhavji was a happy collaborator in the work of the Hindi journal Ma.

I was very much impressed by the benign, illumined and saintly personality of Shri T.V. Kapali Sastriar whom I saw two or three times on the Ashram roads, just casually. My respect for him grew more when I saw his writings and I had the pleasure of publishing some material from him in the Hindi journals. Madhav spoke of him as "My Guru", always reverently. Kapaliji passed away in 1953 when he was 67.

Sometimes Madhavji and I talked about the continued financial shortage at the Ashram at that time. In the context of the wrong ways by which money was attempted to be brought by someone and of the wrong sources from where it would be obtained—wrong from a certain moral angle—I mentioned the traditional view that the food purchased from such money would have harmful effect upon the eaters and the contrary

Page 15

view of such money-bringers and several others that the so-called tainted money became pure like gangajal, the water of the Ganges, when it reached the Mother's hands. Madhav would say, "My Guru had said that consequences of such money will have to be faced."

Madhav's memory was a storehouse. He knew where to put the finger and he would locate what he wanted. Many people had him as their contact man for the Mother and as a Secretary of the Ashram he had to ask Mother about so many things. He could draw upon his experiences in various Ashram matters.

I remember several significant observations of his. One of the interesting insights was that Mother had put some Force at the Ashram due to which none could keep a secret or hidden money with oneself. One day, sooner or later, it would reach Mother's ears or hands. And we would smile, with understanding.

Once Madhav introduced a friend 'N' to Madanlal and myself. We embarked upon a joint agricultural project at Ramapuram, off Cuddalore. There were differences among us and in spite of reconciliation efforts, it became difficult to continue. The matter went to Mother and she remarked against the man, even to the extent that she will "know him no more". Madhav pleaded with her and got some concession for him. The matter became worse later, and after Mother's passing we had to go to court where we succeeded. Later, one day, Madhav, of his own, said that N had become hostile to him also, and that it was a mistake on his part to soften Mother towards that man.

Madhav also gave some other instances where he was let down or attacked by friends whom he had helped earlier considerably, even by those for whom he had gone out of the way to assist. But these experiences did not deter him from his dharma of helpfulness.

I remember how witty his remarks used to be.

"There are no followers here, only leaders," he would say.

Also, "There is no brotherhood here, only Motherhood."

"In distribution Mother gives one piece of chocolate to each of her children, but to the naughtier ones she gives two," he would say on appropriate occasions.

I was impressed by the promptness of his decisions and quick

Page 16

dispossal of the matters before him. He attended to the visitors also without wastage of time.

On my request Madhavji planted a Prosperity plant near the Matrimandir Workers Camp at Auroville. He was holding weekly classes there for the study of Sri Aurobindo's Yoga. He was respected for his readings, but he had to stop when the situation at Auroville became chaotic. He felt hurt and sad. He wouldn't go there any more.

Some persons from Auroville still continued to maintain contact with him and he also recipiocated, but the old thing was gone. At that time when I was under suspicion and heavy clouds, he was asked by Roger Toll, an American resident of Auroville, about the Mother having chosen me. He had the courage to disclose that he had once asked Mother as to why Shyam Sunder was preferred over others and that she had given her reasons. She had said, "Andre is too old for Auroville; Nava cannot understand Auroville; Roger is impossible; there is a defect in Shyam Sunder, but I can take care of it."

My contact with Madhavji grew more about the mid-eighties. He came to see me when I was sick or there was something special to speak about. Once he opened his heart about the establishment and some individuals. But he did not quarrel with them.

He had made it a practice of offering a hundred rupee note to Mother when he went to see her every day. The day the visit was not possible, he would send it to her. After the passing of the Mother he would place it in the offering box at the Samadhi while going to his office. He had some financial transactions with the Trusts I was looking after and it was a pleasure for me that everything went through smoothly and cleanly.

On one 14th of June, when I was at Kodaikanal, I suddenly remembered him and felt our togetherness. After a few days I leaned that the 14th of June was his birthday. In fact it was his 65th anniversary.

He grew to be a Secretary of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. He was also actively associated in the work of the Sri Aurobindo International Centre of Education. The World Union had him as its Chairman. An erudite scholar, he has written about a hundred books on Yoga, Tantra, Vedas, Upanishads, etc. He

Page 17

had a large number of admirers, a good number of them looking to him for guidance on inner problems and on worldly problems.

He passed away in 1993 at Madras, where he had been hospitalised, three months before would have been 75.

Kind, helpful, generous, he will be remembered by many.

Page 18

Dilip Kumar Roy

I had heard of Dilip Kumar Roy, son of Dwijendra Lai Roy, a reputed literary figure of Bengal. Dilip Kumar, himself a musician of fame, was a literary talent as well. I enjoyed listening to his music available through the HMV records. But when I heard him singing in person, it was an experience of a still higher order, more vibrant and more living.

It happened at Pondicherry in February 1949. Uday Singh took me to his house for introduction and I was happy to learn that Dilipda would be singing that very evening, it being his usual singing day for Ashramites and visitors. Dilip created an atmosphere when he sang, and to me he seemed to be at his best when he sang of the pangs of viraha, separation, and of the urge for milan, union. Indira Devi, a new-comer to the Ashram, who would not go back any more, but stay permanently with Dada ( that is how she would call Dilip), sat at his side, with closed eyes, entranced. We sat still for some moments when the music ended and then one by one, took leave of Dilipda, who stood with his usual loving smile.

Next evening, I saw him on the sea-beach, moving towards me as if he wished to speak to me. I was pleasantly surprised when he invited me for his music session that very evening. He would be singing for some select friends then. After that I happily went to hear him sing whenever he would.

I felt a great power of invocation in Dilip's music. When I mentioned it to Uday Singh, he said that Mother also had spoken of it. He also added an anecdote. Dilip had desired that Sri Aurobindo should hear hjm sing in person. Mother arranged for him to sing in the corridor next to Sri Aurobindo's room from where Sri Aurobindo would listen. After the singing ended, Mother remarked, "How sweet was the dance of Krishna !" Krishna had responded to the invocation in Dilip's music, and that is what Mother had seen. Dilip must have been pleased over Mother's confirmation of his musical power, but certainly not over his failure to see Krishna dancing.

Page 19

Later, from Calcutta I wrote to him mentioning my remembrance of Mother and the wish to go again to see her. He replied that as my psychic being had opened I felt like that. When I asked him how he could say so, he answered that he had the capacity to see it and that Mother knew of it. His answer made me happy and also urged me to be faithful to it.

When the journal Ma was started, he happily collaborated. Once he sent a poem in simple Sanskrit written in Bengali script. His handwriting was not very legible and I took the poem to a learned Bengali ayurvedic physician, miles away, who helped me out with more joy than what he got in seeing patients.

After Sri Aurobindo passed away, Dilip underwent a change in his relation with the Mother and the Ashram. I do not remember having any contact with him after he left the Ashram. Finally he founded an institution of his own, Harekrishna Mandir- at Pune, where Indiraji accompanied him. Mother continued to keep his house at Pondicherry vacant for him. Since Dilip's passing away in the year 1980 at Bombay at the age of 83, Indiraji has been the Head of the Mandir.

I don't remember having any contact with Indiraji after the first introduction of a moment in 1949, but in 1983 she remembered me when a common friend met her at Pune and when she was told of the treatment meted out to me and Madanlal at Auroville and that I was not even being allowed to go to the Matrimandir, she said that the situation will change and that Matrimandir would be built with our participation.

Her ingoing and trance faculties were confirmed by Sri Aurobindo and Mother to Dilip. In her deep indrawn state she heard the saint Meerabai, and the songs thus received were published when she was at the Ashram.

In spite of their detractors at the Ashram, my feelings for them remain unchanged. I remember how Dilip embraced people with loving simplicity. The number of letters written by Sri Aurobindo to Dilip and published in Letters on Yoga is, besides his music, his valuable gift to posterity.

Page 20

André

During my November 1949 visit to the Ashram, I stayed at Golconde. One day there was a bit of stir in the fixed routine of the house. Monsieur Andre Morisset was coming on a visit from France and a room on the top floor in the eastern wing was being made ready for him. In fact, at Golconde there is nothing much like making a room ready, for the whole house is always kept in a tip-top condition. The stir, in reality, was due to the whispering that Monsieur Andre was the Mother's son and that it would be his first visit since the Mother settled down at Pondicherry in 1920. They were going to meet after a gap of 29 years, we calculated, and for me it was doubly interesting that the event was taking place in the house where I was staying. In fact, as it was learnt later, Mother had left Andre' in Paris in 1916 for Japan. He was a student then and they were meeting after 33 years.

Mother had wished to be present at Golconde in the afternoon a little before the scheduled arrival of Andre, and the visitors staying in the house were not expected to throng in the corridor, but they could have Mother's darshan near the stair case when she came and left. As usual the plane was delayed and Mother had to wait longer in the room. She must have spent the time in doing something more precious than bestowing her gracious smile on the people around.

Well, I was tickled then at the fact that it was that very year when both Monsieur Andre and I visited the Ashram for the first time. But, of course, as for seeing the Mother, he was much more fortunate in having seen her earlier, and for years together, and that too before my birth itself.

Anyway, I was curious, as many must have been, to know about their first meeting after such a long Reparation and how Monsieur Andre was to be treated at the Ashram, he being the son of the Head of the Institution. About the meeting itself, nothing of human emotion or sentimentality has been reported. Mother is said to have remarked once casually that she might

Page 21

not have recognised him, if she had not known about his coming beforehand.

André mingled with Ashramites as one of them, without any ostentation or special privilege or honour, except that he was seen with Mother along with the usual Ashramites when she came out. He soon endeared himself as Andre-da, brother Monsieur Andre. Henceforth, the room at Golconde would be always kept for him and he paid the usual Ashram charges for it. The frequency of his visits to the Ashram and the duration of his stay gradually increased.

In course of time he became an active participant in the Mother's work.

From the beginning I felt affinity with Andre-da, but for years we did not meet. I do not remember the occasion when I was first formally introduced to him; perhaps there was none—we started knowing one another casually or for some work.

One of our first contacts took place when the Comite Administratif d' Auroville was formed. The main enthusiasts behind this Administrative Committee of Auroville were Roger Anger and Navajata. I was inducted as a member in it and in this capacity I did attend its meetings, but I was not feeling happy. The meetings were held every week on the first floor of the Auroville office opposite the south-east corner of the Ashram and the minutes of the proceedings were put up before Mother. Once Andre asked me about my reaction—he was a member of the Committee attending it regularly and reporting to the Mother—on a personal level, and he could see that I was not happy over what happened in the sessions. Soon after, Mother asked me about it, and as 1 was not quite explicit for I was there with Mother's "Yes", she smiled in the same way as she did when she had spoken to me about my entry into the Comite and freed me saying, "You are not meant for committees, but for work." The next day or so, Andre gave me her message that thenceforth I was not to attend the CAA meetings regularly and that the CAA would ask me to attend when there would be some problem requiring my assistance. Andre also shared my feeling of relief.

Once I was asked by Navajata to draft a resolution for the operation of the Bank accounts of Auroville by four persons

Page 22

jointly viz Andre, Navajata, Roger Anger and Prem Malik. Till then Mother was the sole signatory in the Bank accounts and the volume of the Bank transactions was on the increase. There was rationality in the decision but Mother was not asked about the names of the signatories. The resolution was given to Navajata in the usual course for Mother's signature but he returned it saying that it should go through Andre. The resolution came back to me with Andre's note that Mother had deleted Malik's name and put my name and that she had also wished that I would be signing at the end.

In February 1971 the Mother gave me the responsibility of Auroville and the Comite was dissolved soon thereafter since my suggestion to the CAA members to meet every day and participate in the actual field-work was not acceptable to them. In a way, the CAA had a natural end. The Mother said,

No more committees,

no more idle talk.

It did not mean the end of the participation of the erstwhile members of the CAA in the Auroville work as individuals. After this event Andre and myself came nearer and became intimate.

At that time the Matrimandir work was yet to start. Soon it started for which Mother had been waiting for some years. But again there were quibblings and suggestions and counter-suggestions delaying the actual construction work.

Mother spoke to Andre about it and said that unless one person would take charge of the Matrimandir work it would not get done and that I should find someone for it. I thought over it and told Andre that no such person was coming to my mind and if Mother approved I could take it up. He replied that without consulting me he had already told Mother that he also had none else in view, but Mother remarked that I was already busy with the Auroville work as a whole and she did not like to strain me. But both of us could not see any alternative and then Mother gave me the Matrimandir project as well.

The other project to which Mother gave great importance was the construction of the cultural pavilion of India, Bharat Nivas. It was a costly affair with no Bank balance for support. The architectural design had been chosen after a competition and the land required for it was with us. Offers were invited for

Page 23

construction and some reputed companies had responded. The response of ECC (a Larsen Toubro concern) was adjudged to be acceptable but they wanted five lakh rupees at the time of signing the agreement. The decision was left to me and I was finding it rather hard. Andre stuck to the point that they all had left it to me and that I had to decide. One day he spoke about it to Mother and came to tell me Mother's remark about my need of faith. I tried to look within me but I remembered again that the cash box was empty and the matter won't stop even with the missing five lakh, and in front of me sat Andre just shrugging his shoulders.

And then something occurred in an instant. I decided to be on the right side of faith and pushed off the letter to ECC that we were ready for the agreement. Andre went back happy with sympathy for me.

It is interesting to say what happened next. The ECC expressed the wish of their two officers to see the Mother first for her blessings for this prestigious work. Mother gave them an appointment to come with me. When both of them raised their heads after doing pranam, Mother majestically asked them, "When do you start the work ?" "Immediately", they said Mother gave a happy smile. The ECC had become our friends.

The ECC did start the work as promised. They had forgotten that the agreement was not yet signed and according to the terms of the agreement the initial amount of five lakh rupees had to reach their hands first. The agreement was signed after a few days and by the time our cheque of five lakh came to the Pondicherry Bank from Madras for realisation our Bank account was rich enough with the five lakh just received by way of grant for the Bharat Nivas. Mother again gave me a happy smile. At this distance of time I am again thankful to Andre for his part in the matter.

Once Andre was asked by Mother to see and report the correct position regarding the existence of a road in Auroville. Roger had fixed a location for a proposed soap-unit in the Industrial Zone of Auroville. The Manager of the soap-unit had informed me that there was no infra-structure at the site and even no approach road was there and as I used to move about at Auroville, I also knew that it was so, but Roger was repeating

Page 24

before Mother that it was there and that the unit should be set up there. So Andre went to the site in a jeep and reported to the Mother that a sort of way was there but no road and that the making of the road entailed money and time. On the other hand, we had no funds and there was urgency for setting up the unit for otherwise the opportunity would be lost. So Mother sanctioned the setting up of the unit elsewhere. Roger was very much annoyed and the soap-unit Manager, Nautam Bhatt, suggested to me that he could drop the project. I encouraged him to stick on and the unit was set up at the Industrial Estate at Pondicherry. There was a sad accident on the first day. It was a pointer to the heavy toll disharmony could take at Auroville. I don't think we learned the lesson.

Andre was aware of the honest differences of approach between Roger and me in certain matters.. I had to take some hard decisions and naturally always some were unhappy over them. It seems Roger indulged in frequent protestations. Andre once told me that he had on one occasion mentioned to Mother that Roger and Shyam Sunder were two strong- headed bulls. When I asked him about Mother's comment, he said with a grin that there was none and shrugged his shoulders. I didn't ask him whether he informed Roger also about it. In all fairness he must have done it.

Well, everyone has to take decisions which at times may not be to the liking of some. After the passing of the Mother, Andre was taking decisions in several matters which came to be handled by him. I remember an occasion when he was unhappy over the lay-out of the first page of an issue of "Sri Aurobindo's Action" which was brought to his notice by an interested Ashramite. On the first page, at that time, there used to be Sri Aurobindo's picture and an article from Sri Aurobindo's writings. Just below Sri Aurobindo's picture the title of the article appeared. In that issue the title of the article was 'The Inconscient', and Andre agreed with his informer that the readers could take it as an attribute for Sri Aurobindo himself. I did not see any such possibility, but he was firm and as he had learnt much more than I had from Mother in this field, I agreed for a new print of the page. In order to economise, Andre suggested some pasting of a slip, but this being the first page, I went in for a new print of what meant four pages.

Page 25

When some time after the passing of the Mother, the Auroville trouble started Andre' tried to assist in sorting it out with his objectivity and reliance on Mother's arrangement. But in that upheaval he was not being heard any more. Gradually he withdrew from Auroville scene and confined himself to Ashram matters in which, I think, he was mainly associated with Nolini and Counouma in policy matters.

My outer contact with Andre went on diminishing and in the end there was little of it. He was sad over the Auroville happenings and just repeated to me more than once what Mother had told him, "For God's sake, keep Satprem out of Auroville." And we would find ourselves helpless.

In those years I was a much maligned person and am sure that Andre was hearing more than enough against me, but I could always feel his old affection for me. In fact he started sending me greeting cards on my birthday from France to which I, by habit, never responded outwardly. Once when I was in the thick of attacks from all quarters, the birthday card that I received from him carried the picture of a famous Knight-at-arms.

When I mentioned to him that in 1972 Mother was saying 'Yes' to all requests going through others, but I was getting 'No' sometimes. He said, "Fortunately, I also."

Towards the end he had grown quite weak in his body. During the last five years of his life he found it more convenient to stay with his daughter Pourna Prema, on the ground floor in the house in front of the Ashram. I saw him one evening talking to someone on the pavement outside. We just smiled at each other. That would be our last meeting.

He returned to France in January 1982. Pourna saw him off at Delhi. Two months later he passed away in the family's country house in France on 29.3.1982. He was 84 then.

I always remember his obedience to Mother. For he happily carried out Mother's wishes even when they went against his own preferences or judgements. And I always remember what he repeatedly told me, "Shyam Sunder, till now I have no instance of Mother's words coming out untrue."

Page 26

Vasudha

Vasudha was the name she got from her parents. At the Ashram she was called Akka by the younger generation as well as the visitors. (Akka means sister in Marathi), In her letters Mother addressed her as "My little smile". The letters have since been published as a book.

Vasudha was a girl of 14 when she came to the Ashram in 1928 and stayed on. She lived in an apartment next to the Ashram on the eastern side at the south-east corner. The same premises housed the Ashram Embroidery set up and looked after by her. In course of time she became a personal attendant of the Mother. Many a time I noticed her going to or coming from Mother at fixed hours with a shoulder-bag and flowers in hand. I felt envious at times of her good fortune of physical proximity to Mother.

Those who wanted to communicate with Mother through her would either go to her apartment or wait for her on the Ashram footpath. Kind, always smiling, she also felt concerned for the worldly problems of people around her.

Once my son didn't come back home. When I went to her with the request to report the matter to Mother with prayer for his welfare and return, she asked for several details and made me write a letter to Mother. When the boy returned after two days, she personally shared our sense of relief.

Once, on her way to Mother's room, Vasudha saw me sitting on the Meditation Hall staircase where I was trying to get over an intense toothache. She saw from my face that all was not well, inquired, and reported to Mother.

When the first rose flowered in our house, I felt the urge to offer it to Mother and gave it to Vasudha to hand it over to her. The next day there was a second flower and the same thing happened. Then I heard a remark on the staircase near Mother's room that once given a chance people make a habit of it. Next day I did not go out of apprehension, but I was told by Vasudha in the evening that Mother was asking about my flower. This

Page 27

solicitous concern of Mother for a little known person broke a barrier in my relationship with her.

Later, when I started going to the Mother sometimes, once Mother returned my flower-glass with a transformation flower in it and very modestly she pointed to her heart and said that the little flower came from there. Vasudha, who was nearby, felt that I had not fully understood Mother's words and gesture, and joyously told me next time that the flower I got from Mother was the one she had put on her gown's buttonhole near her heart. Naturally I was elated over the privilege.

Once I made a bad mistake. That day instead of going to Mother when my turn came, I unwittingly allowed someone else to go who seemed to have been permitted to go to Mother through Madhav Pandit who had just come down from Mother. In fact, that man had been refused permission more than once before but that day he had managed to come in the line up the staircase and rushed up as soon as Mother passed him. Anyway, it was not my business to allow him to go in especially when it was my turn. Mother was expecting me as usual, instead that man appeared before her. There was confusion and shock of which I became aware only when Madhav Pandit came rushing up, ran into Mother's room and pushed the unwanted visitor out. I confessed my role in it and Vasudha was naturally irritated and surprised over my error.

We missed Vasudha when she went to Bombay in August 1970 for treatment of cancer. On return, due to her sickness she gradually faded out of Mother's company and was replaced by Kumud, but she continued to go to Mother to comb her hair.

After the passing of Mother nothing much was left to be done by her attendants in her room, but a sort of glamour remained with them in the eyes of many. Vasudha was surrounded by people who felt happy in maligning me in the post-1974 period and was impressed by their statements for quite sometime. She mentioned it to my wife and said that it had been difficult for her to imagine how I could have become so bad. Subsequently, she herself was bruised by ill-treatment and then she said that after that she understood what I had gone through.

Vasudha was one of those who would respect Mother's remarks about people and I always enjoyed her affection.

Page 28

During her last sickness she was very attentive when I called on her. She had the hard pain of cancer, but she bore it well.

The "little smile" passed away in Dec. 1983, having lived about 45 years in the physical presence of Mother. If she had lived a month more, she would have been 70.

I remember her lovingly. Also how Nolini-da patted her on the cheeks every morning when she came out of Mother's room and we waited for our turn to go in.

She had played her innings well.

Page 29

Dyuman

I think it was in November 1949 or sometime in 1950. I was on a visit to the Ashram and sitting in the Ashram courtyard after dinner. I was to leave next morning in the early hours before Mother would come to the balcony. Yet there was a childlike wish in me, sitting there, to have Mother's darshan once more. My dear friend Kishorilal had come to say "Good-by" and he said that Mother usually came to the staircase at about 9 p.m. to see some Ashramites for specific purposes and although I did not fall in this category, Dyumanbhai was the man who could ask Mother about my wish at that odd hour. Dyumanbhai just passed near us at that moment and as I was shy to ask, Kishorilal, who had grown friendly with him, spoke to him. Dyumanbhai looked at me and said that Mother had just come to the staircase and I could join the line of people going to her. In case anyone questioned me on the way, I was to say that Dyuman had told me to be there. None stopped me on the way and my heart's wish was fulfilled. Besides having her darshan, I could do pranam too.

I observed an interesting thing. The Ashramite ahead of me was reporting to Mother the condition of a sick colleague. After hearing him Mother asked, "But is he not feeling less weak?" The Ashramite said that he was in fact feeling less weak and it had remained to be mentioned.

Dyuman was the name given by Sri Aurobindo to Chunilal Desaibhai Patel. He came to live at the Ashram on 5.5.1927, which happens to be the day I was born. Speaking of it to me, he would joke, "So, I am of your age."

A tireless worker, he had many things to do. He cleaned the carpet of Mother's room every morning when Mother was in the bathroom. Then he cleaned the staircase. He served breakfast, lunch and dinner to Mother. He replied to his large number of correspondents in longhand and promptly, even in the wee hours. He was concerned with the problem of the continuous

Page 30

financial shortage at the Ashram and was also the supplier of food for the Ashramites and in charge of the Dining Room.

Dyuman's aim of self-sufficiency in food goaded him to acquire agricultural lands and grow crops there. At his fixed hours he went to the farms to look after the work there. He was often seen with a straw hat on his head on his way to the farms. "I am a farmer," he often said. The straw hat went well with his usual plain dress of a white dhoti and a white banyan, with a full sleeve bush shirt added in the cool season.

Dyumanbhai regarded Auroville equally as Mother's work along with the Ashram. He dreamed of being the food supplier to Auroville and with the same aim of self-sufficiency in food wanted to organise and run agricultural farms at Auroville. I received a letter from him, written in the early hours of the morning, conveying his idea of serving Mother's Auroville by freeing the Auroville residents from the food problem. The letter breathed the enthusiasm of this great worker of Mother's.

About 135 acres of barren land belonged to Auroville in the village of Puchipalayam near Vanur. Dyuman had the talent of making farms out of barren land and this site he took over for the purpose. It was named Annapoorna Farm after the Mother Goddess who gives food to the world.

Dyumanbhai selected a man from Andhra for the work at the site and the work started. The work went on with the combined financial resources of Auroville and Dyumanbhai's own friends. He was of the view that the farm work was the Matrimandir in Matter and should be given top priority and his spirit of work was admirable.

He was aware of Mother's views about chemical fertilizers, insecticides and pesticides and took to organic farming. His Gloria farm has earned a name for itself in our country as well as abroad.

Dyumanbhai had an anecdote to say about Mother and organic farming. Mother once said to him when he was serving soup to her, "I hope you are not giving me poison in it." Mother meant the chemical fertilizers that went into growing the vegetables for the soup. Dyuman, then and there, decided to grow vegetables himself by the organic process for Mother's soup. It opened a new chapter for him.

Now, coming back to the Annapoorna Farm, a day came

Page 31

when he had to give it up due to the Auroville happenings. He was not spared the rude treatment which had become a usual feature there.

A time also came when he had to give up the Beauty Land work near Cuddalore for reasons beyond his control.

After this Dyuman concentrated on the Gloria Farms. Then, in 1987, he took up the work of agriculture in Orissa on 130 acres of land at Matrugram. One day I felt like offering ten thousand rupees to Dyumanbhai for his work and took the amount to him from Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society. Dyuman was very happy to get it. "I was just in need of this amount for the Orissa work".

For me it was an experience to hear Dyumanbhai speak of Mother. The simple devotee in him came out in front.

In respect of Mother's administrative directions, those who found them inconvenient or not to their liking, usually tried to find excuses to bypass them. Manipulation or misrepresentation by favourites has been often pleaded by such people. Dyuman said, "I just see Mother's signature. Anything she has signed I do not question."

Not that he was unaware of the play of the ordinary human vital in which Mother's disciples indulged in front of her. He said in private, "We all go to Mother with knives in our pockets to stab others."

"Mother wore out her body for us," he would say and ask,

"What did we, her children, do for her?"

Or, he would say, "Mother gave and gave. We only took and took."

Well, Dyuman was generous in giving. He wished to give whatever was with him to give. He spent liberally for the special occasions to celebrate the Ashram events. Some of his colleagues were sore with him though for this reason.

He has given me a tray and water-jug he used to carry with Mother's food to serve her. I cherish this gift from him, as if from Mother through him.

Once I wished to have some Khadi dhotis from the Ashram Prosperity as blessings. Dyumanbhai asked me to wait, went to the Stores and came back with a pair in his hands.

Page 32

Sometimes he took me to the farms. On the way to Beauty Land, he showed at Cuddalore the sports ground where he had come, long ago, with Mother to see a football match. In those times, Dyuman had to go to Cuddalore for timber requirements. Once Mother had to go to the State Bank of India at Cuddalore for the encashment of some thousand rupee notes of the Ashram as required by the Ordinance of the Indian Government. That was in the late forties. There was no State Bank of India branch at Pondicherry then and the Cuddalore branch was near the harbour. Dyuman went to Cuddalore to fix with the Bank the date and time for Mother to be there. "I arranged with the Bank Manager", said Dyuman with a twinkle in his eye, "to receive her with respect and offer her a chair."

Some years after the passing of Mother, I suggested to Dyumanbhai to record his memoirs. He declined, saying, "I am here to work, work and work."

Dyuman is known for his volatile moods. After he joined Sri Aurobindo Society and became a part of the game that was going on then in relation to Auroville, we found ourselves to be on the wrong side of each other. During that period I often got hurts and on a few occasions he was rude also. In spite of Mother's signed statements about me.

When the situation at Auroville changed, Dyuman was invited to go to the Matrimandir in 1991 and he went there. After a long break of years he was once more at Auroville.

From early 1992 our contact grew again and he didn't hide his emotion about it. It was a happy break from the cloudy days of the past.

In August that year I went abroad. When in Germany, I got a phone call from home. Dyumanbhai had passed away. Just two months after his 89th birthday.

I remember his Yoga of service. He was available all the 24 hours, so to say. His room served him as his bed-room, office-room, reception-room and also as store-room on occasions. His doors were always wide open.

Page 33

Amrita

Amrita was the name given by Sri Aurobindo to Arvamadu Ayengar, a South Indian youth who was introduced to Sri Aurobindo on August 15, 1913 and who then started frequenting Sri Aurobindo's house more and more. He joined Sri Aurobindo's household permanently in 1919 when he was only 24. He had started with the work of posting letters and later he became the Manager of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram and was also appointed its Trustee. These posts were just his outer garment, so to say. The man, the sadhak, the Mother's child that he was, that is what stays in my memory of Amrita.

I liked him, I respected him, though the occasions for our meeting were few. Quite often we saw each other at the Ashram and just exchanged smiles. They were happy moments. Humour and cheer seemed to flow out of him.

When my article on Sri Aurobindo's journal "Arya" appeared in "Mother India", he told me that it was interesting and added, "There are things in it I did not know!". I answered that whatever I had written there was gathered from printed material. Then he said, "But I was associated with it from the beginning and did not know," and smiled. I am not sure whether he was referring to something incorrect in the article.

Once I fell short of cash during one of my visits to the Ashram and asked Amrita for cash in exchange for my cheque on a Bank in Calcutta. "I will have to ask Mother," he said. Next morning he said that Mother had said Yes and gave me the cash pleasantly.

Once my request to see Mother, sent through Navajata, was not accepted. I was told that Mother had remarked, "But when he comes to me, he just stands still and does not do pranam and goes away." Navajata asked me whether I did not do pranam to Mother, and I replied that I always did. He said that he was going out next day and had spoken to Amrita about it and advised me to see Amrita. I felt sad and some churning took

Page 34

place inside. When I went to Amrita, he said that when my request was placed before Mother he was there and had the impression that there was some confusion or mixing up on Nava's part and that he was willing to take my request to Mother if I wrote it out. I wrote some lines there itself in the background of the previous day. He wanted only one line letter, "Mother, I wish to come to you for Pranam", so I canceled what I had written, rewrote accordingly, and he brought me Mother's appointment. He knew its value for me and shared my happiness with just a smile and got busy with other papers. That was in 1966.

One day he called me from behind mistaking me for Madanlal Himatsingka and asked me something, without looking at my face, calling me Madanlal. I answered as if there was no mistake of identity. And he reported the answer to Mother! All went well.

After we settled down at the Ashram, I was offering a fixed amount every month on account of the Dining Room food for the family. After some time, one day, Amrita told me that it was not necessary any more.

When the house we had rented came for sale I was interested in it. I was told that Mother was interested in that house for the Ashram itself and that I should not butt in. Mother was asked by Counouma on my request and she happily approved of it for me and then it was Counouma's job to make the deal. The deal was being done for a higher amount than what was first expected. Amrita, as a well-wisher, cautioned me that as the house-owner was Counouma's old friend, Counouma would agree at a higher price. At that stage I chose to let things take their course, and Amrita also did not speak again. We all were happy to have the house. It got its name Shyam House from Mother. It should be interesting to note here that the price of the house was paid by borrowing the amount which was repaid in time out of the sale-proceeds of our ancestral house at Bhagalpur. The Bhagalpur house fetched us exactly the same amount that was paid for Shyam House.

At one point of time, the Government of India had come out with a scheme under which remittances to India in foreign

Page 35

currency earned some extra amount. As usual there were some conditions to be fulfilled and there were differences of interpretation. Madanlal took the initiative in channelling the remittances for the benefit of the Ashram. There were some others also, trying similarly, but several remittances claimed by them were held to be ineligible for the incentive amount, whereas in Madanlal's cases, all of which were processed through me as we were working together, the incentive was always received. In fact, Amrita was told by Mother to route these things through Madanlal, and Amrita was in touch with us in this matter full-heartedly. I remember how anxiously Amrita came with a remittance which faced some technical infirmities under the terms of the scheme. He reported to Mother the hour when our explanation would be put before the Bank and the thing went through. Amrita must have noticed that in Madanlal's handling, the full amounts were going to Mother in full, as a rule, but in the hands of some others, there was a diminution at times.

On 28th February 1968 Amrita was there at the Auroville Foundation Ceremony to read Mother's Charter of Auroville in Tamil. The Tamil translation was done by him. Mother liked his Tamil intonation.

On getting report of some rebuff or mistreatment at the Ashram, sometimes with his usual humour he would say in respect of the aggrieved person, "So his sadhana begins."

In her class Mother once asked Amrita, "What is the relation between Overmind and Supermind?" Waving .his hands, he replied at once, "Very good relations, Mother, very good relations."

On another occasion when Amrita was late in coming to the class, Mother told him that he won't be allowed to enter unless he answered the question, "How far is the Divine from you?". But he went straight to Mother counting his steps and said, "Three steps, Mother."

Amrita passed away on 31.1.1969 at the age of 73 after months of ill-health. When the news of his end was given to Mother, she already knew of it. She said that in the night the window of her room had suddenly opened when Amrita came to tell her of his departure.

Page 36

So that was Amrita.

He had the rare privilege of getting a slap from Mother.

His office still continues to be called Amrita's office. A bust statue of his with his Grecian features and ever welcoming smile stands on the cupboard behind his chair in the office.

Page 37

Champaklal

Everyone connected with Sri Aurobindo and Mother hears the name of Champaklal. As Hanuman's is known along with Rama's.

When I went to Mother, Champaklal would be always there, in the corridor or at the staircase or inside Mother's room. My contacts with him started and grew there only, as it must have been in the case of most of his friends and acquaintances.

In my early days, when I received from Mother a big birthday card, clad in silk, Navajata complimented Champaklal for it. "I only made the card," Champaklal protested, "It is Mother who chose it." Champaklal always tried to be exact in his words, and in acceptance of compliments, whereas ordinarily men are prone to be pleased over unmerited compliments.

When Mother replied to me in August 1967 that I could go to her in the afternoons whenever I felt like it, for Praram, I went to Champaklal to inform him and ask about the procedure. Usually he did not like the strain caused to Mother by the increase in the number of people she had to see, and I had some apprehension in approaching him. In fact, I had little contact with him till that point of time apart from the exchange of a few words when he would be speaking of the requirements of blessing packets and birthday card envelopes which I was making those days.

I went to him with Mother's letter and spoke to him about it. The procedure would be that on seeing me on the staircase (he opened the door to let visitors out and let them in and then he looked at the people there), he would inform Mother and I would go next to the person whose turn had already come. Champaklal, later, once showed me how Mother was putting my name in between two names on the list of people she would see. In fact, there were two lists, one of which remained with her and the other with him. The writing of both the lists and the changes therein were done by Mother in her own hand.

Page 38

I used to go then at about 3.30 p.m. and it went on like that smoothly. Once there was an unusually large number of people waiting to go to Mother. The person who was already in was taking a very long time and Champaklal had come out a few times for something and seen me. When he came out next time, the earlier person still continuing to be inside, I told him that due to the large number of people in waiting I would not like to burden Mother further with myself and wished to go away. Next time he advised me that in future I should continue to wait in spite of the crowd.

A time came when I would go daily to the Mother for pranam and blessings. One year I did not inform Mother in advance about my birthday, as I thought that it was no longer necessary for I had seen my name in the annual list of birthdays. When I entered Mother's room I didn't get any birthday greeting and discovered that I had formed a wrong notion about myself. Vasudha, guessing that something was amiss, came closer, understood the problem and asked me whether I had informed the previous day. I mumbled out my explanation which was not much appreciated, Mother looked annoyed, and Champaklal was called in. Some words and gestures passed between Mother, Champaklal and Vasudha, and arrangements were done for her to write on a card for me. Mother then looked happy and wrote out her message after the selection of the card. All present there became their normal selves when Mother gave the card and bouquet which also had been brought in by then.

I went to see Champaklal in the afternoon, when he would be having a free moment, to express regret over my instrumentality in Mother getting annoyed with him in the morning. He took it sportingly, contrary to reports about him, and expressed happiness over the good that had come out of the mistake, viz, that I got so much more time to be before Mother! I wonder if this was the only incident of its kind of birthday-card writing.

During the Auroville work days, once Mother got greatly annoyed when the rectangular piece of stone carrying the date 28.2.1968 and her blessings and signature inscribed by her and fixed in the Urn at Auroville had disappeared. Who had removed it? It could not be found out. Mother remarked that an evil spirit was there also, and raised her hand in the air. Well, I

Page 39

got a hard scolding which was being noticed by Champaklal, although he did not understand French. When I came out of the room, I told him that Mother would not like to see my face any more. He advised me not to feel discouraged but to continue to come as usual. Next morning when I presented myself on the staircase, Champaklal reassured me by saying that he had spoken to Mother and it would be alright. When I got in, Mother's smile was sweeter than usual.

I remember how Champaklal used to jokingly ask me when I would be enter Mother's room, "Shyam Sunder, what is the news of Vrindavan?" and then I would relate the Auroville news to Mother.

From the beginning, Champaklal had felt attracted towards the Matrimandir at Auroville and was interested to know about the progress in the Matrimandir work. Once for a special occasion there, Mother was nominating a number of persons who would sit separately as a group there. In the course of the selection, Champaklal suggested the name of Poorna Prema, her grand-daughter. Mother did not agree. When Champaklal showed his keenness for her name, Mother said, "What will a woman do there?" (I do not remember the exact words.) Champaklal reminded her that according to her man and woman are equal. She then quietened him with a chiding, "When you don't understand, why do you speak?"

I understand it was not the first time that Mother spoke to him thus. Sri Aurobindo also is reported to have said something similar. I am sure, Sri Aurobindo and Mother would have tried to convey the same thing to many of us for each one of us also in diverse ways.

Here a witty remark of his comes to my mind. "Every decision of Mother is acceptable to me as right, but not the reason she gives for it," he said, stroking his beard.

After Mother left her body, Champaklal started moving out of the Ashram premises more freely. He came to visit the room at Auroville where I had been living since 1973. He came with great affection and observed the room in detail to satisfy himself that I was comfortable there. Nirod also had accompanied him and then I discovered that he called Champaklal "Maharaj ji"

Page 40

and I saw their sweet relationship which one can glimpse from his book on his twelve years with Sri Aurobindo.

During the sad episode of the conflict between the Ashram and Society on one hand and Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society on the other, Champaklal came to Society House and asked me whether I was willing to abide by what Nolini would say. I replied that I was willing, provided Nolini would speak after hearing us. He frowned a bit and he repeated his question and I my answer. Then he went to see others. No further communication came from him and next morning I went to the verandah near Mother's room for a quiet moment. When Champaklal came there, I wanted to speak to him but he rudely brushed me aside with a gesture of his hand. He was visibly upset and irritated with me and forbade me from speaking. He left in a huff. After that he seemed to have been brainwashed regarding me, as many others were at that time, due to Auroville and Sri Aurobindo Society. Our external felationship had ended abruptly. Was it the legendary Durvasa who acted that morning?

Champaklal was later seen moving outside the Ashram more and more frequently. He attended conferences of Sri Aurobindo Society with silk chaddar over his bare body. Later, he would travel to other places in India as well as abroad. With the glamour of his past around him as the attendant of Sri Aurobindo and Mother, he had a large number of admirers and friends who welcomed him with respect. Evidently he enjoyed it in spite of his failing health. His last trip was to his home State, Gujarat, in the year 1992. He passed away at Jantral on May 9 that year at the age of 90. His last rites were performed there itself as he had wished his body to be cremated where he would breathe his last.

On 21st May 1973, when we were waiting at the staircase, I remember, Champaklal came out of Mother's room with a grave face and said, "I don't think Mother will ever see people again." In fact, Mother did not receive people any more from that day. Only on the 15th August did she give her last Darshan on the Balcony in spite of her physical strain. She left the body on 17th

Page 41

November and it was laid at rest in the Samadhi on 20th November, just six months after Champaklal had warned us at the staircase.

The Mother's body having been placed in the Samadhi, people left one by one. I left towards the end and again came back after some time. A single man still sat there. It was Mother's lion,

.

Page 42

Panditji

At Calcutta I had heard of Panditji as an important visitor to the Ashram. Navajata spoke highly of him as a person of great siddhis and as one who had become very intimate with Mother. He was offered a seat in front of Mother ,a rare honour. He was a tantric yogi and spontaneously recognised the Divine Mother at the first sight. He had remarked that Mother was free from all samskara, that is, she was the Immaculate Divine.

I had heard before of a tantric from North Bihar who observed the traditional custom of not bowing before a non-Indian or a woman. But when he came to Pondicherry in course of a pilgrimage and went to the Mother, he prostrated himself before her spontaneously.

Navajata informed me that Panditji was highly qualified to be the Chief Priest of the Rameshwaram temple, but he had been denied the post by the local establishment. He said that Panditji wished to be the Chief Priest there and we should try for it. He added that Mother also wished him to be the Chief Priest and approved of his idea of taking my father's assistance in the matter. My father was a Member of the Parliament and one of his colleagues was a member of the Rameshwaram Temple Committee or otherwise connected with the Temple. I wondered why Panditji ,a man of such high spiritual attainments, should be anxious for a post, but did not express my feeling. My father took up the matter with his colleague whp was himself a learned and religious man. The subject was discussed a few times with some clarifications from Panditji through Navajata, but although Panditji's merits or suitability were not questioned, there was some scriptural injunction against a householder getting the appointment and that stood in the way.

During my visit to the Ashram, I went twice to see Panditji. He was a cordial and hospitable person always offering something to eat. He did puja everyday for long hours. I found him unassuming and witty in his talks.

Page 43

I saw Panditji's photo in Navajata's room and felt like having one for myself. Navajata said that he had kept the photo with Mother's approval; so I requested him to ask Mother about my wish. The next day, before he could ask Mother, I told him that I wished it no longer. There it ended.

The wife of a visiting friend was behaving crazily at times since quite long. Some malignant spirit seemed to take hold of her then. The Mother was requested to free her from the trouble. She advised them to go to Panditji. He did some puja and the trouble was over.

Panditji became known in the Ashram and among visiting friends of the Ashram who started going to him for help. Panditji is reported to have offered to establish a tantric chakra at the Ashram which would bring plenty of money, but Mother didn't approve. However, he was of assistance to Mother on the occult plane in some Ashram matters and also in relation to her health which was facing a crisis at that time.

Panditji was a Maharashtrian, settled at Rameshwaram, and his name was Neelkanth Mahadeo Joshi. His family members also came to Pondicherry for a visit. Mother sent him some money and Manoranjan, an Ashramite, was sent for the renovation of his house at Rameshwaram. Kameshwar, who did long puja regularly along with his Bureau Central work, also stayed at Rameshwaram sometimes.

Two other promising Ashramites used to go to Rameshwaram to see Panditji and stay there for some periods. They ostensibly went for spiritual progress and at Mother's instance. Unfortunately, according to what I have understood, they went for some occult powers out of ambition, fell into the usual trap of such things and, after the Mother's passing, lost control over themselves.

It has been reported that towards the end, Panditji regretted having given them powers. He had called one of them his civil force and the other his criminal force. He fell in the eyes of these two persons when they came to know of his dissatisfaction with them, and it became an irretrievable situation created by the vitalistic ambition, pride and revolt of the two.

Panditji continued to be of help to seekers of his discipline till he passed away in 1981.

Page 44

Counouma

Padmanabha Counouma, hailing from Kerala, was a resident of Pondicherry for years before he joined the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. He rose to be the Managing Trustee of the Ashram and died on that chair in 1991 at the age of 82 after a prolonged illness.

He was a scholar of French law that prevailed in Pondicherry in those times. He served as an officer of the Government of Pondicherry, holding the post of the Registrar of Documents. Also a politician, he was a member of the Pondicherry Assembly for some period.

Counouma was a firm believer in the principle that everyone has a right of being heard. He was always ready to hear all the parties on any issue, even in matters on which he had already made up his mind. Sometimes he narrated to me his experience in the Assembly when he was a lone independent member. The different party speakers had spoken on the subject of the ongoing debate and the matter was going to be treated as closed when he wanted to speak. Of what use it would be for him to speak when he had no supporter ? But he solicited their indulgence in hearing him all the same and he was allowed to express his views. Well, one of his suggestions was accepted.

When the Tamilnadu Agricultural Land Ceiling Bill was referred to a Select Committee, the Select Committee was touring the State to elicit public opinion and giving personal hearing. Counouma and I went together to Cuddalore to appear before the Select Committee for both the Ashram and Auroville would be affected by the provisions of the Bill.

Later, it was thought advisable to meet the Chief Minister at Madras. The matter was reaching its final stage and after asking Mother, both of us went together to Madras.

After finishing the work at the Secretariat, we took our lunch at the house of a relative of Counouma's who had already been informed of the visit. He had gone to Madras after many years

Page 45

and the host family was quite excited.. It was a sight to see. Counouma asked them to treat me as his brother, and he himself looked after me there as a guardian would take care of his young ward.

I should mention here that the exemption we wanted in the Agricultural Land Ceiling Bill for institutions like ours was claimed by other institutions in general in the State and it was provided in the statute. Both the Ashram and Auroville got the benefit of the exemption for the existing holdings. As Auroville had to acquire more lands for which permission had to be obtained from the Government of Tamilnadu, I went to Madras later to see the Chief Minister Karunanidhi with our request. He had already visited Auroville earlier and readily agreed to give an ad hoc exemption for 500 acres to start with. He dictated the order on the spot.

When the Society- Auroville trouble started, Counouma took active part in it. He obtained a certificate from Nolini about himself to the effect that he was the wisest, sanest and most impartial man and that his advice should be listened to. In a meeting at Auroville when a resident of Auroville, Bernard, raised the objection that the man appointed by Mother should be listened to and not the one appointed by a man like Nolini, I asked him not to speak derogatorily of Nolini. The result was that then those who found it convenient to supersede Mother's direction by Nolini's, increased in number and a sordid drama ensued in which I got beaten from all sides. Of course, Nolini and Counouma also were thrown away by their, new admirers after their self-interest was served.

Counouma, the astute politician, however succeeded in keeping the Ashram organisation intact in spite of the attacks of the Gang of Four, so to say. But he did so at the heavy cost of Auroville and Sri Aurobindo Society. He knew what he was doing. In later years when one could ruminate over the past, he sometimes expressed his doubts about the correctness of what he had done. It was too late then and the only reply I gave him was that he had saved the Ashram structure.

In those days there were heavy differences of opinion between Counouma and me. With his authority as the Managing Trustee of the Ashram and his shrewd manipulations, he could

Page 46

in most of the cases have the upper hand over me, but I never yielded to him on any principle and we found ourselves opposing each other for long. But I don't think we ever stopped speaking to each other or felt like enemies. There, it was a great quality of his, very often absent among our fellow-Ashramites, that he could maintain speaking relationship with those with whom he differed.

His capacity of objective analysis and viewing was also remarkable, though his political sense would take the driver's seat and mostly he left himself in the driver's hands. I witnessed him on a good number of occasions going back on his right discernment and words without blinking his eyes.

To give an instance. relates to the time when he had a major say in the Sri Aurobindo Society and used to attend the meetings of its Executive Committee as a special invitee. Just before the meeting, on the corridor, he assured me that a resolution would be passed to the effect that no more cut will be made from the donations received by the Society earmarked for the Matrimandir. A few minutes later, in the meeting he started dictating the resolution that 50% will be cut and paid later in indefinite future. The only concession he made was that my objection was recorded.

I may give one more instance, a bit long though. One morning he requested me to go to Auroville to quieten a group of residents there who were planning some disorderly acts against Navajata. He also added that I would not be able to return in time for the scheduled meeting of the Executive Committee of the Society and that as he would be attending that meeting he would take care of the matters there. In that meeting a resolution was passed stripping me of all my work given by Mother and vesting it in the person dislodged by Mother in 1971.

The resolution was passed unanimously by the whole Executive Committee which had two of the Ashram Trustees also as its members. The subject had not even been put on the agenda of the meeting sent to me. Counouma had attended that meeting and as a part of the plan he had packed me off to Auroville on his mission and on my return when I reported to him about the good meeting I had there, he complimented me and kept the

Page 47

fact of the resolution a secret. I came to know of the resolution a day or two later when my daughter Manju received it with a shock and phoned me at my office at Auroville.

Counouma had the capacity to pretend that he was not a party to it and even said that it should not have been passed. Santosh Chakravarti, who had settled down at the Ashram after retirement as a Judge of the Calcutta High Court, had drafted the resolution in consultation with Counouma, felt repentant afterwards for his role in it. I consoled him saying that if not he, someone else would have given the legal aid to them in the matter and that the wheels of destiny would have taken their own course anyway. He agreed with me that the resolution was invalid in law as it was a capricious and mala fide act, and that it would have been set aside by the Calcutta High Court if I had chosen to approach the Court. He felt more sorry for the fact that the Resolution went against Mother's direction.

On the other hand, even years later, when Carlo Schuller spoke to Counouma about it, he affirmed that it was a wrong thing, but he refused to tell the Society to rescind the Resolution. Nor was Nolini willing to move in the matter.

In the late seventies the Income Tax Department was reopening cases of charitable trusts, particularly of those engaged in commercial activities. As I was personally attending to the Income Tax matters of the Trusts'in which I was an office-bearer, I became aware of the proceedings in the pipeline against the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. The Assessing Officer confided to me that the matter was being taken lightly by the Ashram representative and advised me to do the needful in the matter. The good-hearted officer hinted that he was under pressure as there were anti-Ashram reports and quick action was needed. He did not know that I myself was a persona non grata in the eyes of the Ashram establishment, nor could I make of it an excuse before him. I talked to Counouma, and as he was with the toppers in the establishment against me, I suggested that I had discharged my duty by informing him of the situation and that he should do the needful. He thought for a while and showed his capacity of taking objective decisions for the sake of work. He decided that both of us will handle the matter together and asked me to fix an appointment with the officer.

Page 48

When we were to go to the Income Tax Office, Counouma arranged to pick me up from my residence for he did not want both of us to be seen together by another Trustee colleague of his living nearby. Well, we represented the Ashram before the Income Tax Officer to his satisfaction and sent him the needed clarifications. That trouble ended.

Next morning, Dyuman was emotional in telling me, "We all are Mother's children. Let us forget the past. We work together." It was a short-lived emotion.

Counouma, in later years, showed considerable affection for me and was also interested in my personal welfare. In 1981, he came to see me at the Ashram Nursing Home where I was lying in bad condition. He felt genuinely concerned and wished me to recover soon, saying, "There are many more wishing you recovery."

Later, when I continued to suffer at home after leaving the Nursing Home, he visited me there, advised me to switch over to another doctor and when we decided to consult Dr. Chaudhari, an eminent surgeon at the JIPMER Hospital, he gave a letter of introduction for him. The doctor used his discretionary power to visit me at home as I was in great pain and decided to make a puncture in the infected part then itself to take the pus out and give me immediate relief. Counouma sat outside the room while the surgoen was at work and left only after that. When I was admitted to the JIPMER Hospital for the final surgery, he went to the house of Dr. Chaudhari and requested him to take good care of me. It was something very unusual for him to do and I felt touched and grateful to him for it.

The surgeon himself wanted to know more about me in the context of Counouma's concern and assured me of his attention and added with humour that the second reason of his special attention was the fact that the name of his wife was the same as that of my daughter, Manju. One day, when out of boredom in the post-surgery period, I went to the Ashram for an hour's change of air in the car, using the back door of my room and a subsidiary gate of the Hospital Campus, the doctor's wife noticed me from their house on the way and reported it to her husband. She also had started taking care of me.

Counouma never claimed to have spiritual experiences and

Page 49

was completely free from hypocrisy, a disease from which many suffer. He always worked in the interest of the Ashram as he saw it.

One of the several things I learned from him was that one should retrace one's steps on discovering one's mistake. He would at times confess also.

We had our moments of humour as well. About the special patronage extended to some persons in the Ashram, sometimes Counouma would say, "Well, Mother was an Empress and she had her favourites."

In his lifetime his was a familiar figure in the Ashram surroundings. Frail bodied, dressed in a clean white lungi, a long sleeved kurta and a white

on his shoulders, he came to the Ashram at fixed hours walking from his house nearby. I see him like that.

Page 50

Indra Sen

Dr. Indra Sen, en erudite disciple of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, used to attend study circles, seminars and conferences including the sessions of the Indian Science Congress and All-India Philosophic Associations. He had carved out a name for himself in the intellectual circles as an able exponent of Sri Aurobindo's philosophy and Yoga. Earlier, already an M.A., LLB, he had got his doctorate from the University of Freiburg in Germany and taught Psychology and Philosophy at the Hindu College in Delhi. My elder sister's husband Shri Vindeshwari Prasad Gupta, a resident of Delhi, also a devotee of Sri Aurobindo, was a good friend of his. Indra Sen had contacts with my father as well who stayed at Delhi for months.

Shortly after my return to Pondicherry, Indra Sen had come to Calcutta, probably to give a talk at the Sri Aurobindo Pathamandir. He came to our bungalow, and that was our first meeting. I was impressed by his personality and a healthy lifelong association started. He was a happy contributor to my Hindi journal Ma and a prompt correspondent.

Stationed as he was at the Sri Aurobindo Yogamandir at Jwalapur, a suburb of Haridwar, and also at the Ramgarh and Tapovan orchards near Nainital in the Himalayas, he would occasionally visit Pondicherry. There the Ashram had provided a house for him, his wife Leelavati (Mother named her Violette) and his daughter Meera (Mother named her Aster), who was one of the earliest students at the Ashram school. After her studies she married and left Pondicherry to join her husband.

Indra Sen was the eldest son in a cultured Punjabi family. His original name was Yudhishthira, his remaining four brothers got names of the other four Pandavas—Arjun, Bhima, Nakul and Sahadeo. Nakul became an ICS officer and occupied a high post in the Government of India. The family status and contacts in high Government circles came handy to Indra Sen's daughter and her associates in the quarrel of the Auroville residents with Sri Aurobindo Society in the years to come.

Page 51

A time came when Indra Sen got the urge of home-coming. He decided to give up the assignments in North India and to spend the rest of his life at Pondicherry. He came to me sometimes to take legal advice for some property problems at Jwalapur and the Himalayan centres.

After settling down at Pondicherry sometime in 1981, he took interest in the Ashram and Auroville matters at his own initiative. He was always constructive in his approach and favoured compromise and reconciliation.

When the political trouble in the C.P.N. Singh episode was at its peak, he showed me a letter drafted by him intended to go from the Ashram Trustees to Indira Gandhi, the Prime Minister. I very much liked the approach and text of the letter and some others also agreed, but it did not go through. He was saddened by his failure at that important juncture.

Once an Ashram youth, usually respectful to him, was impolite to him when he went to him for some reconciliation efforts, and he came badly hurt to my office next door to get a word of sympathy. He had started seeing that in the clash of egos the voice of reason and reconciliation is not appreciated.

Then, after quite some time, one day Indra Sen came with almost tears in his eyes. A few days before he had arranged a meeting at his house between me and the two Administrators of Auroville, appointed by the Government of India, in his presence. His daughter had got irritated over the meeting having been arranged by him. Further, she told him not to let me in again. He could not bear this insult in his own home and arranged to shift to another place. His wife continued to live at the old place where the daughter would come to stay with her on her visits.

Once Indra Sen came to express his sadness over the falling standard of 'Sri Aurobindo's Action', and urged me as its editor to raise it suitably. "You must give it an identity of its own", he said, and offered to write a series of articles for this purpose according to a plan which I liked. He gave some articles and then stopped, but continued to be interested in it and I felt encouraged. He expressed his happiness over the improvement that had come in the journal.

He gradually retired with failing health. After a long sickness

Page 52

in which he was reported to be indrawn, Indra Sen passed away at the Nursing Home in 1994 at the age of 91. Only some days earlier, I had got a phone call from his wife asking me on his behalf for publication of some material of his in book form.

His body was brought to the house. I saw him lying in peace in an emaciated body which was a thin one even in his lifetime.

In the eighties Indra Sen had once told me that he had just come to see that the opening and growth of the psychic being was a must in Sri

Yoga and thenceforth he would endeavour in that direction. I had then wondered in my heart, how a scholar of his stature took so long to realise the importance of the psychic being.

Well, time does not really matter here, in one sense.

Page 53

Carlo Schueller

I met him for the first time in 1961. It was also my first trip to Europe and I carried a letter of introduction from Navajata who, I discovered on reaching there, had never met Carlo till then, but was known to him by name due to his association with Mother India of which Carlo was a subscriber and with Sri Aurobindo Society which was a rising star then. In fact, Navajata had assigned me the task of getting Carlo involved in the Society and to have a centre of the Society opened at Carlo's place.

Carlo lived then in a big and beautiful house opening on the Zurich Lake. He received me with his reputed hospitality for people coming from Pondicherry in which his mother joined him although she had not visited the Ashram. Ambalal Purani was among the earliest Ashramites to stay with Carlo who took him in his car around for talks and promotion of the Ashram publication sales. Carlo was in fact himself running a book sales centre for the Ashram publications under the name Sri Aurobindo Verlag from his residence, which was practically a one man show, and he worked hard on it in the spirit of dedicated service.

Carlo himself was a man of letters with mastery over English, French and German, and translated some works into German.

Due to Carlo's contact with the Mother the atmosphere of his house was quite congenial, and shortly after settling down in the cosy room arranged for me I went out with Carlo for a walk in the midst of the Swiss scenery. By the time we returned from the evening stroll, Carlo had agreed to associate himself with the Society after his initial misgivings which, years later, proved to be true.

The next time I went to Europe, twentyone years after, Carlo had shifted to another house, comparatively a much smaller one, and though his mother had died, he had married and had children and there was also the stock of books. Yet I was always welcome to stay there and I did stay with him for some weeks. The new place was quite away from the Lake but there was a

Page 54

ravine close by with a flowing rivulet and trees on both sides and it made a beautiful spot for walks. Carlo was unable to accompany me because of his failing sight, but with his brilliant memory of the treks and journeys in his youth, he could always guide me not only for Zurich but for all places in Switzerland and several other countries.

He had problems with his eyesight from early years and was advised surgery. But Mother advised him not to go in for it and thereafter he refused to listen to anyone else nor did he bother Mother a second time about it, but just stuck to what she had said, and during his last years when he became virtually blind, he bore it with the cheerfulness of a sadhak, without a word or feeling of complaint or regret to the Divine about it.

In the Himalayas he had met an ascetic who did not eat and whom he saw going down the valley at Badrinath and reappearing several kilometers away walking in the air, so to say, for no human feet could tread that way. It was an impressive feat, but Carlo didn't find any spiritual height in the man.

When Carlo came to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram for the first time he was not impressed by Mother immediately. He saw her playing tennis, the other players not sending her hard returns, and then he, among others, received a piece of chocolate from her, he did not realise the significance of it.

In course of time he would become her devotee and practitioner of the Yoga of Sri Aurobindo and Mother.

He breathed his last in a Zurich hospital on Dec. 2, 1994, when he was 67. His last words were "Thank you, Lord, for everything."

When I got the news in the afternoon on phone from Zurich, the Ashramites were getting ready to go for the 2nd Dec. Annual Physical Demonstration. I went to the Samadhi to lit an incense stick for him.

The same morning, at about 6 a.m., Manju, with whom Carlo had very affectionate relation, saw from her bedroom window a row of reindeers passing in the sky, and a bright star, and thought, "There is Carlo." And the phone rang to tell her that Carlo had passed away at 5.20.

It had been only two months earlier, on Sep. 24, that I had phoned him on his birthday. It was a very short call, though he said that he was not so unwell as the doctors feared. I ended the

Page 55

conversation with the words, "Now let us have our last laugh." We usually used to have a laugh on the phone, but that day the word last came out unintended, and I immediately tried to correct myself, but I don't think he heard it since he was already laughing.

No attachment for money, no attachment for food items, no wish for name or fame, and devotion and obedience to the Mother to an extent remarkable for a man from the West and not very common in India either.

In the Auroville imbroglio he always stood for Mother's directions and fought till the end for the recognition of Mother's directions regarding me. This earned him the displeasure of all those, and there is a very large number of them, who found it convenient to disregard it. They called him names for it, but he was unperturbed. He took it as a nishkama karma. None wanted to recognise that he was fighting for this not because of his brotherly relationship with me or because he was to get some benefit out of it, but because he felt hurt that it was her last written direction stating clearly that it was she who gave me the responsibility of Auroville and yet people disregarded it with the utmost impunity.

And then, when he discovered Mother's message about Huta's guardianship of the Matrimandir, he stood for her whom he never met in his lifetime and whose behaviour with him was not very graceful. He came on his last visit to Pondicherry and Auroville in February 1993 only to plead for respecting Mother's message about the guardianship of the Matrimandir. he came in spite of his financial difficulties, bringing with him Horst as his companion due to the loss of his sight, again as a nishkama karma at the service of Mother's directions. He didn't succeed, but he left with no regret, he having done his duty.

When I went last year to Europe I had no urge to go to Switzerland.

In Germany I missed his voice on phone.

I remember brother Carlo.

I sometimes feel him accompanying me in the morning walks at Auroville near the Matrimandir avenue.

Page 56

Suvrata Gaebele

At Calcutta I had taken lessons in French at the Alliance Francaise and was able to read some of the Mother's books and her writings in the Bulletin in the original French. After settling down at the Ashram I wanted to improve my knowledge of this language, especially for speaking and writing.

For this purpose I turned to Madame Suvrata, an elderly French lady, who had received her new name from Mother. Formerly she was Yvonne Robert Gaebele. Her husband had been the Mayor of Pondicherry and she herself had worked at the Museum and the Historical Society, etc., retiring as the Chief Librarian of the Romain Rolland Library. I had got acquainted with her in connection with some financial transaction between Sri Aurobindo Society and her, and she gladly consented to give me regular lessons. I went to her in the evenings after playing badminton at the Ashram Theatre. Suvrata had her house opposite the Theatre.

After the French lessons I cycled or walked back home. The streets were half-lit and there were lamps and candles burning in several houses, with dance and music, and some families had their dinner tables spread on the pavements. The Creoles and other French nationals were the main inhabitants of that part of the White Town then.

Suvrata herself was one of the very few persons of pure French ancestry who chose to remain at Pondicherry after the end of the French regime, and her behaviour was typical of the French nobility. She once came to look for me when I was absent from the lesson session and I had not been able to inform her about it. Whenever she saw me on the road, she stopped to exchange greetings.

Her brother had helped Mother for her visa. She told me that when people complained to Mother against her or her brother, Mother always quietened them down saying that she remembered the service done to her by him in the visa matter.

Page 57

During one of her visits to Mother, a costly gold brooch of Suvrata got loosened and fell down somewhere near Mother. She got it back at home with a letter from Mother expressing the hope that it was hers. How considerate Mother is, she would say.

Speaking of the early days, Suvrata told me that once it so happened that some official saw Mother sitting at the feet of Sri Aurobindo, and soon word spread about the French lady's beauty and the fact of her sitting at the feet of an Indian Yogi.

Ten years younger than Mother, she sometimes acted as her companion. When a plane landed at Pondicherry on May 5, 1930, Mother and she went to see it. I was just three years old then.

Suvrata authored several scholarly books, one of which was on the history of Pondicherry. Mother appreciated it and asked her for one more copy for the Ashram Library.

She admired Mother's mastery over the French language. She also mentioned that Mother did not like the rules of grammar to be broken. She was content with my progress in French. She remarked that my writing in French had got the French turn, and added that sometimes I even looked arrogant the French way.

Mother also remarked that my French was better and more French than that of the Ashram boys.

Towards the end, Suvrata had a long illness. Nata visited her daily then, for some three years, sometimes with flowers from Mother. When I was informed that she-was leaving for France, I went to her to say "Good-bye". Her elder daughter had come in October 1973 to take her. She informed me of her passing away at Vannes. The end came in January 1974 when she was 85.

Later, when her daughter came to Pondicherry on a visit, she called on me. I was touched to know that Suvrata remembered me in France with her usual affection.

There was a time when the evening meditation used to take place in the Ashram gardens with the Mother on the terrace. Suvrata had written a poem in French on 6 Sep 1945,'Soirs A L'Ashram', which I translated in 1967 and appeared in Mother India, along with the original French. The last stanza of this poem 'Ashram Evenings' is:

Page 58

O! the splendour of the evenings in the Ashram gardens! Invisible descends...Joy, Sweetness, Benediction... Thou art there now... all is Adoration!

So beautiful and so mighty, Thy forehead crowned with a belt

of stars,

Towards us Thou leanest... Thy silk floats in the air...

And suddenly, in us, all is wide, all is pure...

Towards Thee our hearts rise in a rhythm strong and sure,

Thy Light answers, enveloping our souls...

O! the splendour of the evenings in the Ashram gardens!

Page 59

Sri Aurobindo's Action

In 1970 a change was to come in my work at the Ashram, a change by way of addition. Early June that year I was asked by Udar and Pradyot to get a new Society registered at Pondicherry as approved by Mother. She had given if an unusual name "Sri Aurobindo's Action".

The drafting of the Memorandum of Association and Rules and Regulations of the proposed Society was not time-consuming as I had experience in the past of such things especially in respect of Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society and Sri Aurobindo Society. The completion of the formalities went fast and the Society stood registered on June 17.

The Executive Committee consisted of Pradyot, Udar and myself as Chairman, Secretary and Treasurer respectively. When I asked Udar why he proposed my name to Mother, he replied that he hadn't proposed any, the names came directly from her.

Soon after, one day Mother spoke to me about Sri Aurobindo's Action. I made a note of what she had said and it was read out to her in the evening by Andre'. She remarked, "This is what I said, but the spirit is not there." The English translation is as follows:

"The only and unique aim of Sri Aurobindo's Action is the country, India.

India has to guard her independence, India has to defend herself, India has to reorganise herself.

The only solution to the country's problems is what Sri Aurobindo has given in his writings. He has replied to all questions, including capitalism, communism, political oganisation. These are to be put together. And he wrote in English but many Indians do not know English; it is necessary to translate in the languages which they understand. His message has to be spread all over the country, his solutions are to be shown to all who wish to know.

Page 60

The danger is serious, and there is only one solution, that given by Sri Aurobindo. The Action is urgent. The work is to be accomplished during the two years before his centenary. A great force is there. One has to work without personal sentiments.

Sri Aurobindo Society and Sri Aurobindo's Action are two brothers. The Society will help Sri Aurobindo's Action with its centres which are already there. The Society will continue to be engaged with the philosophy and spiritual teaching of Sri Aurobindo."

Later, on 30.4.1971, when the above was being printed for circulation, Mother wrote the following additional lines:-

Les temps sont graves.

The situation is serious.

It is only a strong and enlightened Action

that can pull the country out of it.

Mother put her signature at the end, and then wrote "Blessings" and again signed.

On 20.10.70, Mother nominated a Working Committee of twelve: Pradyot, Udar, Shyam Sunder, Kireet, Nirod, Andre', Madhav, Madanlal Himatsingka, Chhote Narayan, Prapatti, Manoj Das and Charupada.

Sri Aurobindo's Action was the name adopted for its journal as well. The first issue came out in October 1970. Manoj Das was the editor in the early years. Kireet took up the preparation of the booklets and also went out with Udar for lectures apart from giving talks at the meetings at Pondicherry. Prapatti took up the Journal in Oriya, and gradually journals in Hindi, Gujarati and Bengali followed, all under the title Sri Aurobindo Karmadhara. All these journals are brought out by other organisations and are also independent in their contents.

In June 1971 Mother wrote a mantra which was printed and distributed at the Ashram with the introduction: "A mantra given by the Mother for all people in the country for the present crisis." The mantra itself is :-

Supreme Lord, Eternal Truth

Let us obey Thee alone and live according to Truth

Page 61

Naturally, this has been the mantra for Sri Aurobindo's Action.

Navajata was very unhappy with Sri Aurobindo's Action from the beginning and Mother had mentioned it to me in June 1970 itself. He and his club could never reconcile themselves with Sri Aurobindo's Action. Mother gave a message on 2.5.71:

Sri Aurobindo's Action

and

Sri Aurobindo Society

are equally working for the manifestation of the Truth in the immediate future; and to help both equally is to work for this realisation.

And my blessings are with all help and good will.

Sometime in 1972 it was being said in Mother's name that the crisis she had spoken of in 1970 was over and Sri Aurobindo's Action was to be discontinued in August.

On 2.5.72 Mother gave the following message:-

I never said to anybody nor wrote and never thought that Sri Aurobindo's Action will stop in August 1972.

Let Sri Aurobindo's Action continue its useful work in the world, with my blessings.

Next day a meeting took place between some representatives of Sri Aurobindo Society and Sri Aurobindo's Action with the intention that "all the controversies between Sri Aurobindo Society and Sri Aurobindo's Action must cease." The memorandum of the details of joint working was approved by Mother, but it ended like a pious intention.

From June 1970 to early February 19711 was quite active in Sri Aurobindo's Action. Apart from my formal duties as the Treasurer, I was engaged in the literary side and office management as well. Then, after the assignment of the Auroville work to me by Mother, my active association with Sri Aurobindo's Action in fields other than those of the duties of a Treasurer and member of the Executive Committee ceased for several years.

After November 1973 several changes occurred in the organisations connected with Sri Aurobindo and Mother. The organisation Sri Aurobindo's Action was under renewed attack from

Page 62

those who were sore over it from Mother's time but were subdued by her physical presence. The organisation has survived all these and continues to function.

The activity of Sri Aurobindo's Action for some years has been its journals. In course of time Kireet left the Ashram, Manoj gave up the editing work of the journal, Pradyot left Sri Aurobindo's Action, Prapatti is dead, Udar is no more participating. The editing work of the English journal Sri Aurobindo's Action is being carried on by me since May 1973. Also the office management.

I wonder how it is so when I was the least enthusiastic about this work in the beginning. I had entered Sri Aurobindo's Action just as a nominee of Mother without any initiative from me for this work.

(2)

Udar and I knew each other since my early days as visitor to the Ashram, but we came closer after the formation of Sri Aurobindo's Action.

Mother once said that before coming to India she had heard of the reputation of story-tellers in this country and the first one she met was Udar.

Udar is the name given to Lawrence M. Pinto in April 1938 by Sri Aurobindo and while writing the name Sri Aurobindo wrote the following significances: Noble, generous, upright and sincere.

In his humorous moments Udar has asked me, "There are two categories of names given by Sri Aurobindo and Mother. One is of those where the person has got the quality which the name denotes, the other is of those where the person is the opposite of what the name denotes. In which category am I ?"

Mother has spoken of him as a very intelligent man. To me she has spoken of his psychic.

When Chinmayi's misbehaviour with Mother became unbearable for Udar, he offered to kill her. Mother replied, "Killing is no solution. The force behind her will then take possession of someone else."

Page 63

Now, on Asuras, there is another anecdote.

When a disciple requested Mother to finish off the asuras, she said, "But they also are my children playing around." And then, after a pause, she added with a light heart, "I can twist their tails any time."

Udar's is a colourful, multifaceted personality. He married a beautiful English woman after coming to the Ashram. Mother gave her the name Mona. She has been the Manager of Golconde from the beginning, appointed by Mother. She is known for her ability and detail management. Udar himself has been associated with a variety of works from time to time. Mention may be made of Harpagon Workshop, Ashram Press, Physical Education Dept, Handmade Paper Unit, New Horizon Sugar Mills and Honesty Engineers & Contractors.

On one occasion Udar and I were called together by Mother and she told us to work like two brothers. In cases of difference of opinion we have remembered that day and got along.

After the Mother's passing, at times, I have been getting harsh letters, notes and words, even words of rudeness and haughtiness, but till now I have not sensed any ill will from him.

Perhaps because he is Udar.

(3)

Sri Aurobindo's Action passed through a grave organisational crisis in 1978. The Chairman Pradyot, who was also a Trustee of the Ashram, was up in arms. He was campaigning that I had become anti-Ashram and was manipulating my exit from the Action institution, and also Madanlal's.

One day he asked Pranab to ban my entry to the Playground on the ground of my anti-Ashram activities. Earlier, he had mooted the idea that I should be stopped from entering the Ashram building where I used to go to offer pranam at the Samadhi. When the threat was conveyed to me I spontaneously answered that in case I was not allowed to go to his Samadhi, Sri Aurobindo would himself come to me. Now he had chosen to turn to Pranab.

Upto that point of time my contact with Pranab was limited to mutual greetings on the way to Mother, and Pradyot had a

Page 64

powerful lobby of the Ashram and Society at his back. Pranab, known for his fearlessness and capacity to stand for truth, was not willing to oblige him without knowing from me what I had to say.

I had finished my dinner at Auroville and we, some friends, were having a reading of Savitri, when a phone call came from Pondicherry that Pranab wanted to talk to me urgently. As I was not able to go to Pondicherry at that hour, he himself took the trouble of coming to Auroville. He immediately came to the point, telling me what Pradyot was alleging and what he was asked to do. He also said that he had told Pradyot that he knew Mother's opinion about me and that he would not accept what he was alleging without asking me about it. I gave him my explanation and he asked me if I was willing for a joint meeting next morning. I was happy to agree.

In the next day meeting besides the three of us, Counouma, Udar and Madanlal also were there. Pranab kept on pursuing the matter and the issues were concluded. Pradyot could not bear the shock and resigned from Sri Aurobindo's Action. He was one of the two well-known Ashramites about whom Nolini had said, "They only know politics."

Pradyot was much elder to us and Pranab is always respectful to elders, a trait of our Indian culture, but when some plain speaking was needed, Pranab told him frankly, "You are too sensitive." And it worked. Similarly, on one occasion he told Udar, "You are not consistent", and it worked. I saw these as instances of truth, frankness and firmness combined.

Pranab Kumar Bhattacharya is his full name. He is also lovingly known as Dada (elder brother). Mother, in some of her diary notes, refers to him as "the man".

I felt attracted towards him in the very early days when I saw him as a youth by the side of Mother when she went to play tennis. That was during my first stay at the Ashram. In the afternoon Mother would come down the staircase near Pavitra's room and those desirous of having her darshan at that time would gather outside the door on the ground floor. First Pranab would come and open the door to go in and wait for Mother. He would have his glass of milk and put the wrist-band on Mother's arm. She would come out and bless the people present there

Page 65

with her gracious look. She would take a turn to the right on the verandah, followed by Pranab, to take her seat in the car. Pavitra would open the door of the car for her and Pranab would take his seat in the front near Pavitra. By the time she would enter the car the people gathered there would surge on the verandah towards the car and the time taken by Pavitra to take the driver's seat and start the car would be utilised by the people there to have another darshan of hers. Mother would again graciously look at them.

For the Hindi bi-monthly "MA" when Chandradeep requested him for a photo taken by him, he readily agreed and gave a nice flower picture. When asked about the amount to be paid for it, he just said that if five or ten rupees were given, he will have the pleasure of offering it to Mother. He was happy to see the print of the picture.

From February 1971 when Mother gave me the Auroville work, I have been often warned by many of Pranab's opposition to Auroville. In fact, I never encountered it in the course of my work.

One point which has been commonly made out against him is his refusal to allow the people of Auroville inside the Ashram Playground. From time to time I was under pressure to represent to Mother the plea of the people of Auroville against this decision of his, but I did not feel like doing so, and this displeased several of them. Of course, I was aware of Mother's approval of this decision, and one day, of her own, Mother had told me that the Playground was already too small for the Ashramites and the growing number of visitors to the Ashram. On another occasion, Mother has also said to someone that in the beginning when the people of Auroville were allowed inside the Playground some were found drunk, and it was difficult to say Yes to some and No to others.

It should be mentioned that after the passing of Mother, Pranab was allowing those people from Auroville inside the Playground who had passes signed by Madhav Pandit and myself. This system worked satisfactorily upto the time when the people of Auroville stood persuaded that the Ashram was a place to be shunned by them.

Page 66

He has a loving concern for my health and welfare, like an elder brother.

The more I hear against him, the closer I feel to him. Mother is with him.

If many are against him, does it matter?

Mother once saw all leaving her except Pranab who stood on her side.

Page 67

Udavi, Auroshikha, Nata

Nata was the founder of the incense making unit 'Auroshikha' at the Edayanchavacfi village, Auroville. Auroshika became a great financial success and grew up as a big financial support to Auroville. Hundreds of villagers got employed in this enterprise.

Nata and Maggi started a school there and also a medical aid centre. Udavi (Help), is the name for these activities, appreciated by the rural folk around. In the first days of Auroville a borewell for drinking water was Mother's gift to the village Edayanchavadi.

There were some pressures on Nata regarding the end use of the profits of Auroshikha. One day he told me that he had just spoken to Mother about it and she had said that not a piece of hay should go out of Auroville from there.

A day came when Nata chose to transfer Auroshikha to the Ashram. This unit has been one of the best money-earners for the Ashram and the Udavi school and medical centre also continue to do their useful work under the Ashram's benign care.

When Nata came to know of my readiness to advance ten thousand rupees to an Auroville resident for some Auroville work, he emphatically said, "I know him better, I won't give him a penny". I did not act according to his advice. I would learn by experience that he was right.

In the late seventies, I had to attend one of the meetings called by Nava at his residence. Nata was present there. He had become a regular participator in these meetings, and when the subject of Matrimandir's financial transactions came up, he was quite rude to me and got himself appointed as the investigator of the allegations. He promised to do his job quickly and he did it fast, skilled as he was in these things. He was fair enough to make a clean report which earned for him displeasure of his new friends.

Page 68

The friends, of course, did not admit defeat. After some time they caught hold of Alain Grandcolas who also failed to oblige them after making his investigations.

They still continued on their own way. But that is another story.

Towards the end of his life Nata was very unwell. I saw him sometimes going to the samadhi with frail steps. He had lost kilos of weight. He passed away in 1985 at the age of 81.

I remember Nata for his warmth, Auroshikha, Udavi. and other services to Mother.

Maggi and Nata went together to Mother. Nata was the name given by Mother to Alberto Grassi. After the passing of Mother, when once I appreciated their closeness, Nata exclaimed, "For me now she is Mother."

In relation to Auroville, Maggi had been from the beginning the contact person between Mother and several persons of Auroville. Towards the end, when all letters of Auroville people were centralised in my hands, this part of Maggi's work with Mother was over, but she continued to be Mother's Registrar of births at Auroville, so to say. Each birth was intimated to Mother and Maggi maintained their record.

Maggi has been a reliable reference point for clarification of what Mother said to her about Auroville matters.

Page 69

Auroville Architect — Roger Anger

I heard of Roger Anger the day Mother spoke to Navajata about him in connection with Auroville. That was when the Auroville idea was just getting known. An offer was received from him in his firm's name for the architectural services to be rendered by him to Auroville.

"I am giving you a costly architect," Mother said to Navajata when she gave him the paper of offer, and asked him, "Are you willing?" With his characteristic enthusiasm Navajata had expressed his readiness and given me the offer for comments. It was the usual commercial type of offer and needed a lot of finance. When I told Navajata that he was incurring a big liability by signing his acceptance, he hoped that in the course of Mother's working the offer and its acceptance would be forgotten and money for Roger's services will not be needed. That is how it happened later. Roger would not only render his architectural services without any honorarium, he would spend from his own pocket for it.

I felt deeply attracted towards Roger, one of the oldest lovers of Auroville, from the moment of our first introduction and when I went to his architectural drawing office set up in the old State Bank of India Building at Pondicherry he received me heartily and showed me around.

In February 1971, when the Matrimandir digging started with a small team of residents of Auroville, Roger came to the site and although I held a chetti in my hands, he embraced me and exclaimed to the whole team, "Now Auroville will be built!"

Mother told me clearly that in architecture we have to do as Roger says. I have always adhered to it, whether I agreed with him or not, and this has brought upon me the displeasure of other architects who have different tastes.

Once Mother told me, "What you are saying is right; what Roger is saying is also right. Do as he says." I do not exactly

Page 70

remember the occasion of it, but I do remember that for the sake of harmonisation, Mother expected me to get over my conceptions of being right.

Roger had not been very keen for the Matrimandir as a priority. He was one of those who were not happy with me for the special attention I was giving to the Matrimandir work.

Now, only some years ago, one evening he saw me on the road in Auroville and unexpectedly asked the person on the driver's seat to halt. He shook hands and embraced me with his old heartiness and said that he felt that Matrimndir must be built first for the coming up of Auroville. I also had been permitted after a long break to participate in the Matrimandir work and both of us were naturally joyous over the chance meeting. His intimate associate Jacqueline who was driving also looked pleasantly shocked. In the seventies, speeding her motor cycle from the opposite direction on the outskirts of the Matrimandir, followed by some supporters, she had threatened to bump into me to prevent me from proceeding further.

After the passing of Mother, Roger exhorted people to speak without quoting Mother. Once when he was insisting on this point, someone asked him how he could speak as the Chief Architect of Auroville. Roger spontaneously quoted Mother for it.

During Mother's lifetime Roger wondered why day after day Mother was seeing so many of her secretaries and people and wasting her time and health. He spoke about it several times. That was towards the end of 1972 or early 1973. Then Mother called for the list of those who went to her daily. After the few names of those who preceded me, when my name came, Mother said, "But he needs me every day," and the exercise stopped.

Roger, it seems, once stopped going to Mother out of annoyance. Mother told me that Roger was not coming to her those days and that I should speak to him to resume meeting her. My task turned out to be very easy. Coming down the Meditation Hall stairs I saw Roger going up to Mother.

He was quite disturbed about the disharmony among the disciples at the Ashram in general and among two of his friends,

Page 71

Navajata and Udar, in particular. One day Mother spoke to both of them in the presence of Roger. This significant talk came out in the Bulletin.

About 1975, when Roger started indulging in separate meetings with Navajata and others regarding Auroville affairs and issuing disharmonious notes in the name of the free expression of his views which, he insisted, had to be accepted for Auroville development. Andre knew that Roger was expected to look after his architectural work only and not to impose himself in other fields, and he spoke to him of the grave consequences that would ensue if Mother's directions were not followed. But he was not listened to. The Auroville game was on.

Years passed, and in October 1982 Alain Grandcolas, after talking separately to us, hopefully arranged a meeting between Roger and Navajata at Paris. Roger proposed with his usual frankness and honesty that both of them and I had been working together when Mother was there and we should resume. But Navajata chose to go back to his old stand that I should be kept out. The matter ended there.

Two years ago when the person in charge of nominations of members of the Governing Board of the Auroville Foundation asked me about Roger's name, I whole-heartedly supported the idea and also cleared a factual misinformation in his mind about his architectural abilities. Recently he has been appointed a member of the Governing Board and I was happy to know of it from the newspapers. In the Governing Board he is the only one who had contact with Mother in relation to Auroville.

The only suggestion I ever made to Mother about Roger's architecture was when I asked her whether it was not possible to realise the concept of beauty in simplicity. She said that it was certainly possible and she had spoken to Roger about it more than once.

Roger's love of form and beauty is admirable. After he showed his model of Matrimandir to Mother, she spoke to me of its beauty. Afterwards the model has been the object of criticism by many for one reason or the other, but I have always chosen to go by Mother's appreciation of it.

Page 72

These days there have been again comments regarding the difficulties in the execution of his concepts and his delay in furnishing details, Roger assures us that he will give us a thing of beauty which we would be happy to see. We can safely rely on him for it.

The artist in Roger can not submit to any other demand than that of beauty.

Page 73

Indira Gandhi

In September 1967 Laljibhai Hindocha asked me to go to Delhi for some work of his sugar factory with the Government of India. I wrote to Mother about it, adding that at Delhi I could also do some work of Sri Aurobindo Society. It would take four five days and I wrote to Mother asking for her 'orders'.

Mother replied, 'Go there with my blessings', and added that perhaps I could go to Indira Gandhi to invite her for laying the foundation stone of Auroville on 28th February 1968 and that I should speak to Nava about it. Nandini Satpaty was contacted by Nava and she took me to Indira Gandhi at her residence. Indiraji was courteous and attentive, but she doubted the possibility of her visit.

Coming out, Nandini spoke to Seshan, Indira's Private Secretary, and he advised that I should write the request and the reply will be given. When I went alone with my letter of a few lines, the usual security paraphernalia was active and there was difficulty in seeing even the Private Secretary. I was asked to go next morning to the Prime Minister's office to get the reply.

In the Reception lounge there was a crowd and some confusion. Somehow I was sent upstairs earlier than expected. Some persons were already sitting with Seshan. While waiting, I could hear that some border skirmishes had taken place and Indira was attending to the problem. Seshan said that she would not be able to go due to the Budget presentation at that time and that she would write to Mother.

I wrote to Mother informing her about what happened and proceeded to Bombay for my second assignment, viz, to meet G.D. Birla. He was known to be antagonistic to the Mother and the Sri Aurobindo Ashram. So much so that he was refusing to see people coming from there. Navajata was anxious to have his financial support and told me that although Mother had been showing little interest in the Birlas, my Bombay visit was approved by her. At Delhi I took a letter of introduction from Prabhu Dayal Himatsingka, a close friend of his and my relative.

Page 74

Due to this letter I was immediately received by G.D. Birla. But as soon as I broached the subject of Aurovilleand mentioned the names of Sri Aurobindo and Mother, he, a man of culture and polished behaviour, got visibly annoyed and upset and made me leave.

Back at Pondicherry, I went to see Mother. She had received my letter from Delhi, made a correction of my French and noted her reply that she had not yet got Indira's letter, but the ceremony will be arranged otherwise. She said with a smile, "She doesn't want to come", and added, "It is not important. The thing is working in her head."

Then I mentioned the Birla matter. she just smiled it away and did not care.

Both my apparent failures had earned Mother's smile. I felt relaxed.

Well, Indira Gandhi's letter never came. And although in the beginning I had thought the Budget difficulty to be genuine, it did not turn out to be so, for 1968 being a leap year, the Budget was presented on 29th and not 28th.

During the Pakistan-Bangladesh fighting a message came from Nandini Satpaty that Indira Gandhi wanted Mother's advice about her course of action. India was helping Bangladesh and the USA Government was not pleased. The matter went to Mother through me in the absence of Nava, the usual contact person of Nandini.

Mother said, "She should do the best she can."

Once an urgent message came from Tathagata, son of Nandini Satpaty and an ex-student of the Ashram school, just a day prior to the intended visit of Indira Gandhi to Calcutta. He had seen her in a dream being fatally attacked at Calcutta and prayed for Mother's intervention. This message also was taken by me to Mother.

She concentrated for quite some time and said that she did not see any such danger. In fact nothing untoward happened during the Calcutta visit.

I do not remember the occasion of it, but once Mother said after the parting of Indira Gandhi from Nandini Satpaty, "Now Nandini is not there and we do not have Indira's ears." I

Page 75

remember the expression of concern on Mother's face when she uttered these words.

Mother's written messages to Indira Gandhi have been since published. In September 1983 I sent her the following message of Mother,

The Supreme wants a great and free India. It is in an ardent faith that there is salvation. In the last analysis, it is the Supreme Lord who does everything.

We must be faithful instruments. Blessings.

and asked her what Mother meant by "a great and free India", and also asked for her consent for publication in Sri Aurobindo's Action.

She consented to the publication and added in her letter,

"Being close to the Mother, you would be in a better position to know what she meant by a great and free India. I would say it meant that the Indian people should be more alive to their rich philosophical and cultural heritage and try to observe these high ideals in their daily life. This would strengthen us individually and help us to build a strong nation which would continue our long and ancient tradition of tolerance.

We must be firmly rooted in the soil of India but be ever ready to take and to adopt anything that is good and relevant to us from elsewhere."

Sending her the copy of 'Sri Aurobindo's Action' in which it was published, I suggested to her to write her memoirs of her visits to the Mother, Anandamayee Ma, Yogis and Saints. One of her Secretaries replied that she had regretted her inability to contribute these memoirs for the journal. I had, in fact intended her to write a book, and on getting the reply, I felt that she would never get the time for it. Her memoirs on this subject would have been one of her most valuable gifts to prosperity.

Her life ended in October 1984, one year later.

When the false criminal cases, instituted by the Indira Government, were going on against me, none in power was willing to help me in the redressal of the injustice being done. False

Page 76

prosecutions by the Governmental agencies for ulterior aims, a retired Chief Justice of the Supreme Court told me on the subject of my cases, have been introduced and established as a policy by the Indira Gandhi regime.

It was during Indira Gandhi's rule that Auroville was taken over by the Government of India. She had great respect for Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and their work. The inconsistency of this action with what Mother has said about Auroville is well-known. There are many stories about how she was manipulated to do so. I don't know the truth about this.

Page 77

Deaths in the Family

My father did not join us when we closed our Calcutta establishment and moved to Pondicherry finally in Decenber 1964, as he wanted to take an independent decision for himself in due course. He joined us at Pondicherry some months later. After years of a very active life as an industrialist, freedom fighter and Member of Parliament, he had a quiet life at the Ashram with some sadhak friends around and was enjoying the Ashram atmosphere, getting free from the past associations.

After a time he hurt his leg and had a spell of sickness which ended with his expiry on 13.10.1966 at 12.22 a.m. On 27th September he had completed 79 years.

Regarding the birthday card he had received from Mother he told me next morning that he had a very good experience with it and that I should keep it carefully.

Earlier, the report of his sickness was going to Mother in the usual course and Mother had made some observations.

"When he came on his last birthday I had seen that his subtle body had already separated and there was only a small link with the gross body."

"What is the use of keeping this body unless he wants to do supramental Yoga?"

"Yes, food is necessary to live."

(When asked whether we should tell him in Mother's name that he should eat, she did not reply.)

"If he does not want medicine it should not be given. Don't force him.

I would like to leave it in writing that if I happen to be unconscious, no injection should be given to me."

(The doctor was of the view that his mind was not working, so he was not eating. Mother said, "No, he is conscious.")

Page 78

On 11th October Mother asked, "Does he care for my blessings?" and added, "All right, we will see", and gave a flower with great concentration.

On 12th Oct. it was reported to her that his condition was much worse.

"How?", she asked.

"Physically."

"No, he is much better. Yesterday when I sent the blessing flower, I was watching his response. He received it wonderfully well."

Shortly after midnight the end came.

Mother fixed the funeral for the afternoon. When asked about the shaving of my head according to family custom, she wrote a big No and underlined it twice. My mother, in spite of her orthodox background, took it well.

When my mother's proposal for Brahmin feeding according to our custom was put before Mother, she agreed. Amrita who was sitting there offered himself as an invitee, saying, "Mother, I am a Brahmin; my name should be on the list." "Everyone in the Ashram is a Brahmin", someone remarked. Finally, some Brahmins were invited from outside the Ashram and my proposal of a special item for the whole Ashram Dining Room also was approved by Mother. Later, the Ashram Dining Room started getting special dishes on occasions of deaths. And of marriages. Also of births.

My mother accepted my proposal that we should inform our relatives and friends not to come for condolences. The result was that we were saved from the bother of formal condolence guests.

To come back to the main subject. The end came very peacefully and the atmosphere around was very calm throughout.

Mother said about his passing away: "He is in peace and in rest.

It was one of the most natural deaths I have ever seen. The soul had decided to separate.

I had put a force so that his will might not yield to people around him.

It was a simple and natural death."

Page 79

(2)

My elder sister's husband Vindeshwari Prasad Gupta died at Bombay on 23 July 1969. Next morning he came to me and said that he was very happy. I thought of speaking of it to Mother but didn't. On 25th morning when I went to Mother she wrote something on a piece of paper, saying that it was in answer to what was going on within me.

She wrote,

"Only those who depend exclusively on their body to be conscious lose consciousness when the body dies. Those who have a consciousness independent of their body, continue to live consciously."

After the arrival of my sister from Bombay we, the family members, had gone to Mother. Mother asked, turning towards my mother, whether she was interested to know about the departed one. Of course we all were. Mother said, "Tell her, his soul is one with the Divine". Then, turning towards my sister, Mother said that his psychic was looking after her and she should maintain a contact with his psychic.

It may be mentioned that along with the news of the death, when Mother was asked about my sister's wish that the body be brought to Pondicherry for burial at the Cazanove Gardens, Mother had agreed, but then it did not happen.

I must say here that he was perhaps the very first one to introduce me to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and the happiest when I made my first visit to the Ashram.

(3)

In October 1981 when I was lying in bad shape in the Ashram Nursing Home, my mother came to see me in spite of her difficulty in climbing the stairs. An hour after she went back, I heard that she had a fall on the Ashram pavement. She was brought to the room next to mine in the Nursing Home. It was a serious fracture and she had intense pain. But she continued to be anxious for my welfare throughout the few days she was there. She passed away uttering the name of Sri Badrinath and Sri Kedarnath, the supreme deities for most of the Hindus.

Page 80

Peace reigned over her when the end came.

Carlo Schuller felt that my mother had offered her life to the Divine to save my life. I learned later that she had been talking anxiously those days to some Ashramites about me and what could be done for my well-being.

(4)

My elder sister Gyaneshwari died of cancer in 1991.

At the time of cremation, when the chanting of sn' aravinda saranam mama was over, I saw Sri Aurobindo picking up something from her and handing it over to the Mother and then both of them ascending up and up...

Madhav Pandit commented that it was unusual that both Sri

Aurobindo and Mother came.

Page 81

The Magnet Draws

In the pre-1971 period my visits to Mother did not relate to any work. There was little to speak and that was done through correspondence, since published under the title En Route (On the Path). Yet there are certain things which it will be interesting to say and which I can remember.

I begin from the time when I was not going to Mother.

On 27.4.64 I wrote to Mother,

How can I express my gratitude to the Divine?

She answered,

Grow in consciousness and in consecration. On 28.8.64, I wrote,

How to grow in consciousness? Is aspiration the way?

Mother answered orally,

Yes, evidently, and a steady effort.

On 11.10.66, I wrote,

How can I perfect the effort to serve the Divine?

Mother answered,

To will for it more and more in all the parts of your being. Blessings.

On 29.7.67 I sent Rs 3000 to Mother with my letter saying, "I expected Rs 1000 as my income from a company at Patna, but I have received Rs 4000. Here are Rs 3000 for the Divine."

Mother replied,

"It is good.

Blessings."

There were several mistakes in my French in this letter which she corrected.

On 27.10.69 Mother said,

"I wish to tell you one thing. Yesterday I had no time to see your note-book. This morning I took a piece of paper and wrote down something on it that was coming to me. I was in the other room. When I came to this room I saw your note-book and read

Page 82

it. What I had written there was an exact answer to what you had written!"

My previous day's letter said,

"The mind is very active now, but with a difference—it is no longer pleased with itself."

And this was Mother's answer,

"It is in the silence of a complete identification with the Divine that true understanding is gained."

One afternoon Mother asked me, "Did you do Durga-puja (worship to Durga) before coming to me?"

"No, Mother, I did meditation."

"You have never done here as you were doing before coming to Pondicherry?"

"No, Mother."

"Durga came to me this morning and spoke about you."

I tried to recollect and said, "This morning I said to myself that it is Durga's day and that I will be going to you."

"Ah, It is because of this remembrance", said Mother, "that Durga spoke to me this morning about you."

Mother called me closer to her and after advising me not to disclose it, told me what Durga had spoken about me.

Then she also spoke about Durga and the universe.

That was on 11.10.1967.

Mother had received as gift, long ago, some shares of New Horizon Sugar Mills Ltd. from the founder of the company, Laljibhai Hindocha. When due to some family problems Laljibhai needed to have these shares back to increase his voting power, he requested Mother for transfer of the shares to him. She at once agreed and Laljibhai asked me to prepare the papers for the transfer. I was his legal adviser then.

There was a problem in this otherwise simple matter. Laljibhai wanted to pay some amount to Mother for the transfer, but she wanted to give back gratis. In law, it amounted to the Ashram, a public charitable Trust, gifting away its assets to a rich person, and that is an act not permitted by law. Somewhere within me there was also the feeling that when Laljibhai wanted to pay and the Ashram was short of money, why should it be forgone. Navajata had cautioned me that Mother did not like to be told that she had no authority to do something she had

Page 83

decided to do, but in spite of it I gave my honest legal advice that it was not within her legal powers to return the shares free.

On getting my advice, Mother said, "C'est charmant!" (It is charming!). She rejected it outright and reaffirmed that she wanted to make the transfer without monetary consideration.

When the transfer papers were made ready I suggested that I should be there to witness Mother's signature. She agreed and I got an opportunity to go to her! That was in 1968.

Later I came to know that when the shares were offered by Laljibhai to Mother, she did not give the scrips to Amrita to keep, which it was her practice to do, but kept them in the drawer of her desk. From the same drawer, after years, the scrips went back to Laljibhai.

Perhaps the shares had never gone into the Ashram Balance Sheet.

*

* *

Replying to a letter of mine, Mother struck off the word 'Remembrance' used by me and replaced it by 'Souvenir'. She used to kindly correct or improve my French whenever needed. I was given to understand that Mother had said that 'Remembrance' was not French. I told Vasudha that before using the word 'Remembrance' I had consulted a dictionary, and she offered to show it on my behalf to Mother. I hesitated a bit, but then agreed. At home I did not find the word in two dictionaries, but then in a third one the word was there, and I sent it through Vasudha with a sense of relief and expectancy. Mother turned to Pavitra and exclaimed, "See, see, what this boy is teaching about French!". Pavitra consulted the dictionaries and it was noted that it was an archaic word.

*

* *

When for the Aurofilms unit of the Sri Aurobindo Society Tarachand Barjatya (whom Mother had given the name Dwij) wanted to borrow money from the Banks, I was asked to draft the Society's resolution authorising him for the purpose. Mother had made it a condition that every borrowal will have to be first approved by her. When the resolution was read out to her, she said that the Resolution was negative in its wordings (I had adopted the conventional form) and it should be restated in the

Page 84

positive way. I made a fresh draft accordingly and saw the nice difference brought about in the reading by the positive wording without affecting the intention.

Somehow the Resolution did not work out.

*

* *

One afternoon Mother asked me if I could make some special blessing packets of her choice. I was naturally very happy over getting a piece of work directly from her. She spoke to Vasudha about the specific blessing packet she meant and wanted one piece of it to give it to me as a specimen. Vasudha reminded her that it was being made by X and she had wanted only X to do it. But Mother still wanted it to be done by me and when the specimen came, I was told to take care of some points while making it.

I am reminded here of two Ashram girls asking me what special envelopes and blessing packets I was making that I was allowed to go to Mother regularly. I had simply replied that it was not for that that I was going to her.

I am also reminded of how Bansidhar came one afternoon to my house with all his attention centred on a tin carton in his hands. It was the same carton in which I used to send blessing packets made by me, but this time it contained Mother's symbol made by herself out of some of these blessing packets. She was not seeing people at that time and she had given the carton to Champaklal asking him to take care that the contents are not disturbed on the way. Handing it over to me, Bansidhar cautioned me equally and he left only after I opened it and found it intact. I kept it with care but after some days I dismantled the symbol and resumed using the carton. A stupid act of mine, I should say.

*

* *

One afternoon, referring to the Ashram, Mother remarked that the number of inmates doing Yoga could be counted on fingers. And then she asked me, "According to you, how many here are doing Yoga?"

"Thirty," I made a guess and told her.

She smiled and said after some moments, "But you are doing Yoga."

Page 85

Vasudha, who was nearby, heard these words of Mother and reminded me of them in later years when I was in difficulties.

*

* *

Mother asked me at what time I went to bed. I told her, "By 8.30." She said, "Oh, you have a long night!" Then I told her that I got up about 4.30. She smiled, saying, "It is all right."

I did not remember to speak to her then about the addition of more than an hour of my siesta.

*

* *

In those days when I sent flowers to Mother through Vasudha, I once fell sick. So I gave the flowers to Savita to carry. Vasudha asked her the reason of my absence and took the flowers. After some moments she came out to usher Savita in. Mother inquired of her firstly about my sickness which was only fever and then if I was simply lying in bed or doing some work also. Mother was happy to know that I was active.

On an earlier occasion when I got fever, I was advised by Navajata that Mother did not like to receive people suffering from flu or even flowers from them. He reported my sickness with much concern. Mother wondered why that much of fever was disturbing us and expected me to move out next day with the flowers. And I resumed from next morning.

*

* *

In November 1970, when I was expected by a mediator to go to Calcutta for the settlement of an important financial matter of ours pending from our Calcutta days, I asked Mother about my going there. She was not keen about my going, but she gave her approval for it, and I booked my seat accordingly. That day the plane did not take off, and although Pradyot, a Trustee of the Ashram, who also was to go to Calcutta in the same flight for his work, stayed overnight at Madras for the next day's flight, I came back to Pondicherry with willingness to go next day after making inquiry. Next day the position was still uncertain and late in the day Pradyot returned from Madras as no plane left that day also for Calcutta.

I was then called at Calcutta in January 1971. Again the plane

Page 86

didn't take off. I wanted to know why things happened that way.

Mother replied, "It is because you should not go to Calcutta. It is clear. Blessings."

Well, nothing was lost by my failure to go. In the end the mediator wanted to settle my dues of more than a million rupees for an offering of Rupees ten thousand to Mother. The party concerned was one of the richest families of the country. She immediately said No. There the matter ended.

*

* *

In October 1968, I wrote to Mother about the printing of the book The Destiny of Man, a compilation done by Rishabhchand and myself with her approval, the question was about the place of the printing, viz, the Ashram Press or somewhere in America through Duncan or Ida Patterson. The question had arisen because the Ashram Press would take more than a year. Amrita brought Mother's answer, "The time taken by our Press does not matter."

In September 1967 I met a responsible officer in the Ministry of Education at Delhi who said that the Government would like to introduce the study of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother in the Indian Universities in English as well as in Hindi.

For translation into Hindi the Government had prepared an English-Hindi dictionary containing philosophical words, as a model for the Universities. I told him that Sri Aurobindo had used certain English words in special sense and that from time to time he had indicated equivalent words in Sanskrit and some other Indian languages. The officer appreciated my suggestion that these words ought to be incorporated in the dictionary and expressed the hope that if we send a compilation of these words to the Governmental committee, the words will be put in the dictionary.

I wrote to Mother that if she thought it to be useful for us, I could follow this matter up, or someone else might be chosen by her for it. She answered that I could do that work with the help of Nolini and Madhav, Ravindra and Kireet, according to need.

I was also engaged in the translation of Sri "The

Page 87

Life Divine" into Hindi. The Government of India had decided to purchase a thousand copies of it with the approved terminology. I prepared a glossary of terminology in Hindi, put it at the end of the volume, and the same was accepted.

Page 88

Mother's Appointment

Pourna Prema came to see me one evening, early February 1971, with a message from Mother to see her next morning. It was something very important and in connection with Auroville. She knew what I will be told, but thought it would be better if I heard it first from Mother herself.

Mother had stopped seeing people from early December, and in the latter part of January, Nolini had resumed going to her and then Madhav also. But it was just coming and going, work was not resumed yet.

There was some natural suspense in my heart. Never before Mother had sent for me and on the way I felt its importance.

I did my pranam to her as usual and when I lifted my head, she smiled and asked, "Will you do what I say?". It was an unexpected start, but I immediately answered, spontaneously,

"Yes, Mother."

She was still very weak and her voice feeble, but clear. She first spoke of the sad state of Auroville and of the way things were being done there. She specifically mentioned the name of Nava and wanted a change.

"I have none else in view," Mother said. "You are my last chance for Auroville."

Then she spoke of the hard and difficult work that was being assigned to me, in spite of my weak health of which she would take care.

She also said, "Don't think that I am giving you a big and comfortable chair to sit on. You will have lots of difficulties, but I will be with you. You will not give up saying that you are incapable."

She added, "And I will hold you morally responsible for all that happens at Auroville."

In the end she said that if I agree to do the work, she would see me daily with my report and problems, and with her divine solicitude and humility, she added, "I will try to help you."

I repeated, "Yes, Mother."

Page 89

The very next morning she asked with expectant smile, "So, what did you do yesterday?" I reported to her, and for further steps suggested to wait for Navajata's return. Mother did not like to wait, and we started in full gear.

A chapter in my life had ended. No more of silent pranams and blessings.

The Auroville work was a full-time occupation. Mother relieved me of several activities, mainly concerning Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society, Sri Aurobindo's Action, and the non-Auroville part of Sri Aurobindo Society.

A sort of Auroville office was there at Navajata's residence and people were called there by him for meetings. We then needed a bigger place for the Auroville Office and shifted to a big hall owned by Sri Aurobindo Society on the sea-side. It came to be known as the Beach Office of Auroville. When Mother told me that meetings should not be held at somebody's house, but in the office, I arranged accordingly and informed Navajata about it.

The land for the Matrimandir building had not yet been purchased. Its construction was a priority of which Mother had been reminding before. Land purchase for the other zones of Auroville was another neglected priority. Regulating the admission of people to Auroville and making the people aware of the needed discipline for the Auroville life was another. Financial management was absent.

I had to look after almost every detail. Here are some of her directions:

For the proper progress of Auroville all personal demands concerning the life of Auroville will be presented to The Mother exclusively by Shyamsunder.5.4.71

The Mother has advised that all requests to the various Auroville associations abroad, for money, books, any objects or equipment should be centralised by Shyam Sunder who will organise the distribution of the requests and establish an order of priority according to the needs of Auroville.2972

Auroville is still in the state of elaboration, and those who want to remain there have to collaborate to its erection according

Page 90

to the plans made and to be made, approved by me and signed by Shyam Sunder.4.3.73

*

* *

Towards the end of February 1971 Udar told a German visitor that Mother had approved of his admission to Auroville. This person had been declined admission a few days earlier, mainly because of financial conditions. Udar's understanding was different and he had reported accordingly. This naturally created confusion, misunderstanding and some rumours.

Kumud who was attending upon Mother had noticed that various things were being said and advised me to ask Mother if she had authorised Udar as claimed by him. I wrote a note for Mother and gave it to Kumud who had thought of showing it to her and getting her answer before I would see her.

The matter, in fact, came up only when I was with Mother. She was not happy over the situation. She spoke to Kumud and to me and said, "I want to clarify the position so that there is no doubt about Auroville administration", and wrote the following message, original in French :

8.2.73

For the affairs of Auroville and whenever Aurovilians are concerned it must always be done in consultation with Shyam Sunder to whom I have entrusted the responsibility of Auroville.

*

* *

She told me to show it to Udar in the correct way. She did not use the words "in the correct way", but that is what I understood from her expression and gesture. On my way back from her room, I saw Udar coming up the stairs. A word had gone for him to come. I gave him the message and he went with it to Mother.

I went straight to the office as usual. Shortly after, Udar came there and handed over the message to me saying, "Mother has told me to give it to you to keep."

I must say, he was very happy and shared his happiness with Chamanlal Gupta who happened to be there.

Page 91

I took this message of Mother's as her confirmation and acceptance of my Auroville services and her sacred blessings for the continuation.

There was a suggestion that the message should be put on the notice board or circulated. But in view of my above feeling and of the fact that it was a formalisation of what was actually happening, I did not give it for circulation and the news spread by word of mouth and the message was stored along with other messages.

The work went on as before, upto May 20, 1973 when Mother received me for the last time.

Then during the six month period from May to November that year, when Mother had retired from outer work, I continued to work on the lines set by her.

After her passing on 17.11.73, for some time, things went on as before, but then started a long chapter of dissension, revolt, quarrels and intrigues. In brief, I will just say here that I fell a victim to attacks from all quarters, and here I confine myself to the subject of Mother's message about my work and place in Auroville.

The arguments put forward by Navajata, adopted by Sri Aurobindo Society and supported by the top of the Ashram hierarchy to declare the above direction to be invalid were as follows :

The message was meant for Udar only.

In February 1971, Mother did not speak to Navajata about the work given to me, although in the normal course, he would have been asked.

I had manipulated things with Mother to get authority in the temporary absence of Navajata.

In any case, even if the Mother's direction is taken to be genuine, it stood replaced by the decision of the Society's Executive Committee to remove me from the work and to entrust it to Navajata.

The following arguments were made from the Auroville side :

Mother's message was valid for her life-time only.

Mother was free to change her mind, and they knew that she had changed her mind about me.

Mother had given me a chance, but I missed it.

Page 92

I have betrayed the Auroville community.

There were still a few left who saw the factual falsehood and hollowness of these arguments, but theirs was a cry in the wilderness.

When Jayantilalbhai tried to persuade Navajata to follow Mother's statement about me, he was simply ignored.

When some rethinking was taking place in Sri Aurobindo Society, Udar took the initiative to meet its General Secretary, Guru Pershad, and some others with the advice to act according to the Mother's directions. Regarding her above message, it was agreed to refer to Nolinida the issue of its interpretation. On 9.5.1977 Udar wrote the following letter to Nolini after showing the draft to Guru Pershad :

"I thank you very much for your advice on how I should take the Message given by The Mother on 8-2-73 regarding Shyam Sunder and Auroville. I now write to confirm what I had asked from you and shall be very grateful for confirmation of your advice on a copy of this letter which can then be kindly returned to me for record,

The case is as follows:-

There were some difficulties regarding a German couple who wanted to stay at Auroville. The matter was referred to The Mother and to this She wrote as follows:-"8-2-73. Pour les affaires d'Auroville et quand il s'agit d' Auroviliens il faut toujours le faire en consultation avec Shyam Sunder a qui J'ai confie la responsabilite d'Auroville".

The Mother

Now this is the Message given by The Mother as late as the 8th February, 1973 and so is, perhaps, Her last instruction on Auroville.

There are several persons who say that this Message should not be read out of its context and that its import is related to that context.

I felt, however, that the Message is wide and forceful and cannot be limited to the context. The context was just an occasion for Mother to express Her will on the affairs of Auroville and so this Message has a great importance and validity, irrespective of the context which occasioned it.

Page 93

I came to you with this question and you have confirmed that the Message should be taken as Mother's directive on the conduct of the affairs of Auroville in its full wide sense.

I shall be happy to have your written confirmation of this.

With love and respect,

Udar

In his reply, noted on Udar's letter itself, Nolini bracketed the words 'full wide' in the paragraph, put the word 'simple' and wrote 'yes' and signed. Thus according to him, "the Message should be taken as Mother's direction on the conduct of the affairs of Auroville in its simple sense."

Udar sent a copy of it to the Society. was not to their liking and there the matter ended.

It will be interesting to know that in the course of the CBI investigations, Navajata, Sri Aurobindo Society and the Auroville people, all took the stand that I had been duly authorised by Mother for all the Auroville affairs and that I was looking after everything there. In fact, Mother's message about me was quoted by the CBI in all the three cases and relied upon by them to fix the liability on me. It was put forth by the CBI as the Mother's power of attorney in my favour. A certain part of the period covered by the CBI investigations related to the time after Navajata had taken over from me by virtue of the decision of his Executive Committee, but even for this period no distinction was made by his witnesses and the CBI.

In the eighties Nata disclosed that in August 1970 Mother spoke to him of the mismanagement of Auroville and the sad state of affair there. It was clear to him that she wanted to replace Navajata when she said that she was still preparing the man for it, and he thought that it was he himself to whom she was referring, but when he asked Mother if it was so, Mother said, "No, it is Shyam Sunder."

It is interesting to note that Carlo Schueller had intuitively spoken of Mother having prepared me for the Auroville work, much before Nata made his above disclosure.

It is again interesting that while a large number of Ashram residents chose to join others in wriggling out of Mother's direction about Auroville and myself, Carlo Schueller, not an

Page 94

Ashramite, stood firmly for it for the simple reason that it was her direction.

So far as the Auroville 'community' is concerned the ban on the circulation and printing of Mother's messages about me still continues, though with a diminishing force. Also the ban on my name in their list of Aurovilians.

Page 95

Criminal Cases

In December, 1976 my residence was raided by the police. Those were the days of the Emergency and no reason had to be given by the political higher-ups for arranging raids. The police raid lasted the whole day till late in the evening. Several other premises and offices were also raided as per the list finalised at Delhi by C.P.N. Singh, a politician and Kireet Joshi, an Ashramite turned bureaucrat. The Lt. Governor of Pondicherry became the Chairman of the Auroville Enquiry Committee which appointed a high ranking IAS Officer to go into the accounts and other seized documents. After a thorough enquiry, the officer concerned made his detailed report, and gave the finding of no misappropriation, no embezzlement.

A second attempt was made in 1980 by the same persons when they regained political power. On the complaint of Kireet Joshi as the Educational Adviser, Government of India, the CBI made investigations that lasted till February, 1982.

I was interrogated by the CBI for weeks from morning to evening, sometimes till late in the evenings. The CBI was fully satisfied with the accounts and documents, but on 20-10-82 they framed—or, as it was learnt later, were made to frame—three charge sheets. The first case was filed against Amar Singh and myself (case NO. SPE 13 of 82) at Bhubaneshwar in the court of the Addl. Chief Judicial Magistrate. The remaining two cases were filed in the court of the Chief Judicial Magistrate at Pondicherry bearing CC Nos. 354 and 355 of 1982. One was against myself and an ex-employee of Sri Aurobindo Society, the other against Sri Aurobindo Society and myself. Thus I was implicated in all the three cases.

A big number of papers were filed and a big number of witnesses cited by the prosecution.

The case at Bhubaneshwar related to grants of two lakhs of rupees by the Orissa Government to Sri Aurobindo Society at Pondicherry for construction of Orissa pavilion at Auroville. The sum of two lakhs was made of two grants of one lakh each. The

Page 96

prosecution story was that I gave false Utilisation Certificates stating that the money was spent for the purpose for which it was received and misled the Orissa Government into releasing a further grant. For making out this story, the prosecution suppressed the audit report of the audit team of the Orissa Government which had come in the normal course to Pondicherry to verify the grant money's expenditure and on receipt of which the Government of Orissa had released a further grant of two lakhs. Further, the Orissa Government made a physical inspection of the building at Auroville through its own engineers' team and closed the file in spite of the pressure of the CBI. This fact also the CBI did not state.

The Chief Judicial Magistrate dismissed the case.

While discharging us, the Chief Judicial Magistrate observed, "The Government file, produced by the defence, which has been seized during the course of investigation, would reveal that the Government of Orissa was all through taking steps to know whether the amount has actually been spent or the accused persons had misappropriated the same and they were fully convinced from the reports narrated above,"

Dismissing the revision petition of the CBI, the Orissa High Court observed in November 1990,

"For ends of justice, I feel that the matter should not proceed further as it is likely to cause abuse of process of law."

One of the two cases at Pondicherry was for misappropriation of about Rs. 33,000. I was charged with conspiracy with the second accused who was alleged to have misappropriated. In this case the CBI did not suppress any fact or paper. The Magistrate found that there was no prima face case at all and that there was not even a whisper of any witness against myself about the alleged conspiracy, and discharged both the accused. After protracted proceedings in the Madras High Court and back in the Magistrate's Court, the order of discharge became final in July 1991, when the CBI did not want to proceed further.

The third case was for alleged criminal breach of trust in respect of more than fifteen lakhs of rupees of Government grants. The Central Government and several States had given more than seventy lakhs as grants for construction of Bharat Nivas (cultural pavilions) at Auroville. The CBI found that all the grant monies had been recorded as received by the Sri

Page 97

Aurobindo Society in its account books which were audited every year. However, according to the CBI the unspent balance of about fifteen lakhs was not matched by its liquid assets. They did not find a single irregularity in the receipts or expenditure, yet it concluded that because of its not being matched by liquid assets, the unspent balance was not accounted for and there was a criminal breach of trust. For making this story they suppressed the fact that the entire unspent balance was lying in the overdraft current account in the State Bank of India. Secondly, in other bank accounts of the Society there were more than fifteen 15 lakhs of rupees. After protracted proceedings in the Magistrate's court as well as in the Madras High Court, the Magistrate acquitted us and while doing so passed strictures against Kireet Joshi and the CBI.

The Chief Judicial Magistrate observed in his order of acquittal:

"As a matter of fact no governments, either State or Central, have come forward with any allegations of misappropriation of funds or mismanagement... As rightly pointed out by the learned counsel for the defence there are bigger forces behind and the accused have been unnecessarily harassed and humiliated and there was no dishonest intention at all at any point of time... Taking into consideration the entire facts and circumstances of the case I find that there is absolutely no failure to account on the part of the accused."

About me in particular the Magistrate had added that the FIR did not whisper any omission or commission on my part.

Lastly, on 6.2.84, the Administrator of Auroville in consultation with Kireet Joshi, filed a criminal case at Tindivanam ( case No. 33 of 84) before the Ilnd class Addl. Judicial Magistrate against my son and daughter, Saphala and Manju for alleged non-delivery of documents and papers relating to the Service Trust's unit Aurodia to the Government Administrator for Auroville under Sec 15 of the

Provisions Act 1980.

In fact everything had been duly given to the Administrator. The case ended in acquittal.

Page 98

In Civil Courts

Apart from the criminal prosecution, I was also subjected to proceedings in civil courts.

First I speak of some suits filed by Sri Aurobindo Society against me and my daughter Manju for rendition of accounts. When Counouma, the Managing Trustee of Sri Aurobindo Ashram, came to know of the harassment caused to Manju by bringing a Commissioner to our house on the basis of exparte Court orders, he sent me a long letter in which he expressed his resentment against it, but the Society paid no heed to it.

Later, as a result of the intervention of Nathmal Himatsingka, a respected well-wisher from Calcutta, Navajata agreed to withdraw these suits for all the accounts were already in their hands. Here also, although the suit against Manju was withdrawn, the suit against me was not, which fact was discovered when the Tinidivanam Court's summons came to me after some months and I had to run to that place. A dear friend of mine, settled at the Ashram, was responsible for it.

Now I come to the suit filed by the State Bank of India for the realisation of its dues from Toujours Mieux, a partnership firm at Auroville consistng of Vincenzo and Jean Peugot, both of them residents of Auroville it was a project for the benefit of Auroville and as for technical reasons Sri Aurobindo Society could not give the guarantee to the State Bank for the monies advanced by it to the firm, I gave the guarantee on behalf of the Society with the knowledge of all concerned.

A time came when Toujours Mieux stopped paying its dues to the Bank and the dues mounted to several lakhs of rupees. Having ceased to be an office-bearer of the Society, I had stopped signing the renewal of the guarantee given by me to the Bank. One day the Bank Manager came to my house with his assistant and auditors and persuaded me to sign the renewal of the guarantee just to satisfy his auditors. When I pointed out to him that it would give him the right to proceed against me in the

Page 99

Court for which he had already issued notices to the firm and to me, he solemnly promised that my signature would be a personal help to him and that I would not be involved in any proceedings by the Bank in the Court. Shortly after, a suit was filed by the State Bank impleading me as the guarantor.

I contacted the State Bank and the Society. The Bank said that they acted upon their legal advisor's advice in impleading me and although they knew from the beginning that it was the Society on whose behalf I had acted, they were bound by the legal advice, and so they did not agree to withdraw my name from the court proceedings. They did file their affidavit in the Court saying that I had given them the guarantee on behalf of the Society.

The Society, on the other hand, had assured me that they will own their responsibilty and see to it that I am not in difficulty. But in the court they took the stand that I had no authority to sign on behalf of the Society and that I alone was the guarantor and personally liable. These very people had, in the course of the CBI investigation, affirmed day after day that I was doing everything as authorised by Mother.

Similarly, the Governmental Administrators of Auroville, who had been proclaiming me as responsible for everything done by the Society in the past, took the stand in this matter that I was not authorised by the Society to give the guarantee on its behalf.

It was a very interesting case in the court of the small town of Tindivanam. The lawyers there would often sympathise with me saying that I was stabbed in the back, but that is not the view that the Judge took. He passed a decree against the firm, its partners and myself for a sum of above seven lacs of rupees.

I had a good case to appeal to the High Court at Madras, but I was tired of running to courts and left this matter in the hands of natural justice. The odds were heavy though. The firm had not many assets left. One of the partners had left Auroville and become a rich man, but he was out of India with no intention to return and unaffected by the decree. The other partner who remained at Auroville relied on his foreign nationality and patronage of the Government of India. He and his counsellors wanted to throw the whole burden on me.

One morning I saw a lawyer friend at the sea-beach who had

Page 100

contacts with the State Bank Headquarters at Madras. He went there and discussed the matter. They could see that I was let down by friends and also that in truth I had no liability and that I had offered my assets to the Mother long ago. I was given to understand that when the time for execution of the decree would come, I will not be harassed. It was a cold comfort in view of the past experience.

Now, the Administrators of Auroville took the pleasantly surprising and correct view that the Bank will have to first proceed against the firm and its partners and my liability, if any, would come last. Their firm stand in the matter was fruitful. The matter was amicably settled between the Bank and the actual debtors for some reduced amount.

Page 101

Court Titbits

The CBI cases in the court of the Chief Judicial Magistrate, Pondicherry, had opened after all. On the first day the CBI officer was present. The Magistrate had not yet occupied his chair and chatting was going on in the Court room.

I asked the CBI man, "Why did you file these false cases against me ?"

He replied, "Please ask Kireet Joshi", and winked his eye. Kireet Joshi was the Ashramite turned bureaucrat

"I am doing my duty", he said in his defence.

"And what is your duty when you are asked to prosecute an innocent man."

"I can only say that truth wins and truth is with you," he said from his heart.

At Bhubaneswar, this very officer told my counsel that it was a fact that I was innocent. Unfortunately, the Magistrate there took it into his head to harass me for my non-appearance before him in the beginning, as I was hoping for exemption from personal appearance and even a nonbailable warrant was issued by him against me which fact was not communicated to me by the person concerned in the Sri Aurobindo Society office, but I had already decided to appear on the next date and I left Pondicherry for Bhubaneswar a few hours before the CBI officer arrived at my house with the warrant. My mother told me on my return that the officer felt relieved to know that I had left already and he was saved from the unpleasant task of executing the warrant.

In fact I was not aware of the issue of the warrant until I wanted to leave the Magistrate's court for lunch when I was told that I was under arrest. The Magistrate refused to entertain my bail application in the morning hours although I was present there from before he came to the Court. The CBI lawyer was not anxious to keep me hungry, and I along with the lawyers walked out of the court room and went to my host for lunch.

In the post lunch session the Magistrate raised the unjust

Page 102

demand of two property- holders as sureties instead of one for my bail bond but in the circumstances he was to be obeyed. My counsel knew that the Magistrate was trying to go on delaying the matter so that I could be made to spend at least one night in custody. There was a panel of persons who stood sureties for a fee. Then one had to choose names which were favoured by the Magistrates concerned. All these considerations had to be taken care of and the grant of my bail and exemption from personal appearance until the framing of the charges was signed by the Magistrate only towards the fag end of the day. It was time for my evening walk and I strolled back to my host's house.

My host was Sardar Amar Singh, IAS, the accused No 1, in the Bhubaneswar case. He had retired as the Home Secretary to the Government of Orissa and the only offence he had done, he said, was that he had an untarnished record in his whole career. In the evening when we sat together to discuss the merits of the case and our line of action, he produced before me the copy of a letter he had written to the CBI which would help exonerate Navajata and implicate me. The fact stated by him was incorrect and he said that he had written it under instruction from Navajata in whom he had implicit faith and who had sent a special messenger from Pondicherry to Bhubaneswar to get his signature on the letter. I compared the date and it was an interesting phenomenon. The messenger was sent by Navajata a few hours after he had called on me in the JIPMER Hospital to express his brotherly concern over my long sickness.

Then there is the instance of the Magistrate at Tindivanam in the case initiated by the Governmental Administrator of Auroville against Manju and Saphala in which the Magistrate dismissed Manju's application for exemption from personal appearance, saying, "Then the very purpose of the complaint will be lost."

This is comparable to the pro-Government mentality of the Bhubaneswar Magistrate who attended to my bail bond.

Again there is the instance of a Madras High Court Judge reversing the Magistrate's order of my discharge, saying, "We know that he is innocent but he has to pass through the ordeal of the trial". He allowed the technicalities of law prevailing over justice.

Page 103

Several times I approached the Government with a request to review the prosecution of the three CBI cases against me, and,

(a)if the cases are seen as just, to advise the CBI to accelerate the court proceedings, or,

(b)if the cases are seen as unjust, to withdraw the cases.

I faced a stonewall.

All were unanimous that these were baseless charges, but the decision of prosecution of the cases was political and hence nothing could be done.

The one man in the outside world who tried to rescue me was Prabhu Dayal Himatsingka, who had been a Member of Parliament for decades, after a long spell as a freedom fighter. Even at the age of more than ninety he went to see the Minister concerned at odd hours even after I requested him not to strain himself in this difficult endeavour of obtaining justice from the politicians of our country. In the end he also gave up and wrote that in the present set-up one can not expect any justice from them unless one is oneself a politician.

Page 104

Some Astrologers

In the late seventies Kameshwar Rao took me and Madanlal Himatsignka to Cuddalore to see a Bhrigu Samhita astrologer. He would read out his predictions from a very ancient book written on palm leaves. Rishi Bhrigu is stated to be the author and the book contains predictions for the future generations to come.

When we reached the astrologer's house he was finishing his daily puja and we had to wait only a little before we were ushered in. The room had a religious atmosphere with the pictures of gods and goddesses and puja materials like incense, ghee, burning clay lamp etc. Our names were asked and noted and we were told to think of our question and remain quiet. The astrologer concentrated for a few minutes in a prayerful mood and then picked up a leaf from the large volume lying before him and started speaking slowly. He looked at us and wanted to know if what he had stated related to our question.

Then the reading went a bit faster. Often, in between, he would say, "Now Shiva says further to Parvati."

He started from the arrival of a great Yogi from the North and a French lady of divine powers at Pondicherry and the founding of a great Yoga Ashram there and then spoke of the founding of a new city near Pondicherry by the lady of divine powers.

The reading immediately came to the subject of the temple of the Divine Mother at the centre of the new city. There was deviation from the design given by the Founder and the deviation was done deliberately. Two persons were responsible for it and they will have to suffer and get disrespect from people. The deviation will have grave ill-effects on the whole township.

He went on to say that many foreigners from different countries will come to the international city to live there and there will be lots of quarrels among the residents there. Also rioting, violence etc. will take place and the Mother's project will face a catastrophe and disrepute.

Page 105

The project will take long to recover, we were told in the end.

Earlier, Howard, a Japanese American, who is one of the earliest settlers at Auroville, asked me for my horoscope for his astrological studies. According to his reading, the time was nearing when I will be betrayed or let down by each and everyone landing me in great danger and difficulties. Only Sri Aurobindo and Mother will be with me throughout and protect me.

He also predicted a change in my work.

When later events were showing the correctness of his prediction and the CBI cases were going on, I consulted Parmeshwari Prasad Khetan, a scholar of astrology and a devotee of Sri Aurobindo and Mother, at Haridwar. He also confirmed that I will be enjoying the protection of the Divine Mother.

Similar were the conclusions of two professionals whom I met by chance at Kodaikanal. They were using the words "Guru Shakti" as my saviour and protector and they thought that the conjunction of the stars and planets was of dangers and difficulties of such dimensions as would prompt the subject to end his life.

One of the two acquaintances was a young person and after our contact felt attracted towards Sri Aurobindo and Mother. He came to the Ashram for a stay of some weeks to do some puja and I was glad to arrange it.

The other man was quite old and more of the tantric type. He took some money from me for a puja in the course of which he produced chocolate powder out of nothing as far as we could see. An American couple, who had introduced that tantric to me, were also present to witness again his act of materialisation.

This man showed me testimonials from several known politicians about the help rendered to them in their difficulties by dint of his special pujas and rites, and I was also offered the acceleration of the end of my difficulties at Auroville through some special rites for a consideration. The amount was small, but I did not go in for it as I felt that the speed of the end of my difficulties should also remain in the hands of Sri Aurobindo and Mother, and further, the rite involved killing of some chickens and birds, a distasteful act for my temperament and certainly not a kind one for the helpful chickens and birds.

Page 106

The young American friend was very keen that I should be helped out of the situation by the tantric, but he appreciated my reasons for declining the offer.

Both of these future-tellers had also said that things will start changing and the people of Auroville will regret over the treatment meted out to me.

In one of the CBI prosecutions against me, the second accused was an employee of Sri Aurobindo Society. He went to the priest of a Durga temple in a remote village to ask him about his fate in the criminal case. The priest had an unusual way of predicting. He referred the question to the deity of the temple by means of some mantra and threw some pebble nearby and got an answer. The answer this man got was that in this case there was another accused whose name's first letter was 'S' and that he was protected by the Mother Goddess and that nothing will happen in the case. He added that an explanation will be asked from the complainant for having made the complaint.

I wanted to give something to the priest when I heard of the answer, but I was told that he did not accept gifts or payments for such things.

At that time it was difficult to imagine how any explanation could be asked from the complainant who wielded such authority and influence in the Government of India that he could get these false cases instituted. But the prediction came out to be true in course of time.

Page 107

Mother Steers Auroville

From day one when Mother gave me the Auroville work it started in right earnest. The very next morning she asked me about what I had done the day before.

Precious are the memories of the days that followed upto the end.

The overall impression is indelible, though difficult to express.

From 23.2.72 I maintained daily notes of the work transacted with Mother. I had almost forgotten them till I now discovered them lying safe with me. And a few notes for 1971 also came into my hands. That was the year for which daily notes, if kept, would have made a big bulk.

I now share these papers the way they were written.

I

1971

22.1.71

I wrote to Mother,

According to my understanding, Auroville residence is for those whom Mother has approved. There are certain persons who say that those who reside at Auroville should be hospitable to the whole world, and there are persons at Auroville whom Mother has not accepted.

Mother's answer,

I hope to guard for Auroville the character of aspiration for a truer future.

But if the Aurovilians find this ideal too high for them, it will have to be renounced, at least for the moment.

*

* *

4.3.71

To the question,

There are two camps of consciousnes in Auroville, one in opposition to the other. The opposing camp may cause a bad influence on the other—what is the solution ?

Mother answered,

You should rise so high in your consciousness that the opposition is

dominated by it.

That is the solution.

*

* *

A few days later.

A rich woman, residing at the Ashram and working for Auroville, wanted to know about bringing down her standard of living to the "present Auroville minimum".

Mother answered orally,

Page 111

"You should grow in consciousness.

You should feel that you are working for the Divine, living for the Divine.

You should want the Divine alone.

You should not be affected by the opinion of others. You should try to know and do only what the Lord wants you to do.

Don't think of pleasing others. If you try to please one, some others will be displeased. I also do not try to please.

You have made your life simpler. If you decide to make it still simpler, my help will be there.

All the circumstances are there as opportunities so that you can grow in consciousness, sincerity and consecration. You can always have my help for it.

This is the only solution."

*

* *

23.3.71

Mother says that she is in agreement with Roger's plan. The Auroville constructions should be in accordance with his plan.

She also asked, "Is it that those who are already there do not wish to come in the community constructions?"

Mother is not sure of her answer to Dennis. She wishes that in future all these things come to her through Shyam Sunder.

*

* *

31.3.71

There have been cases of mental imbalance in Auroville. Rob was looked after by Wil and Brigitte by Svetlana. Wil and Svetlana have proposed that such cases are not cases for mere doctors, but there should be a suitable place for their rehabilitation.

Mother agrees that there should be a separate house. She says that the house should be at the outskirts of the city and not at the centre. And It should be large enough to give the impression that one can move about freely and at the same time that one cannot get out.

Page 112

1.4.71

I spoke to Mother about the need of a Wood-working unit at Auroville for construction purposes. No suitable person to establish and run the unit was there at Auroville at the moment and Roger had spoken to Ved Prakash at the Ashram about it. Ved Prakash said that if Mother saw like that he could take up the work at Auroville.

Mother said "Very good" and she wrote on Ved Prakash's letter,

Your collaboration would be extremely useful and fully appreciated.

*

* *

5.4.71

The following note was prepared by Roger:-

On the subject of Bharat Niwas Mother had said to Roger:-

"I see no reason for not engaging contractors. How to build Auroville without help ! What I have said to Shyamsunder is that for the Matrimandir it would be preferable to go without it, but for other constructions it is different..."

Question:

Does Mother agree on the following points ?

—For the Matrimandir in the present situation, neither contractors nor paid labour.

—For Bharat Niwas, schools, etc, until the new order Auroville can utilise contractors under the supervision of the Architectural Office of Auroville.

My noting: Mother agrees.

For Kuljian Corporation, Mother has permitted me to talk to Pradyot.

*

* *

10.4.71

A note from Mother:

As we are in a period of construction, it is imperative that the

Page 113

Aurovilians who live at the Centre work on the construction of the Matrimandir.

Those who do not want to work on the Matrimandir should not live at the Centre.

*

* *

16.4.71

Verne, living at Forecomers, made a proposal for a trading "post" at Auroville where Aurovilians could bring their handicrafts and unused items for trading or donating. A small exchange of money, primarily for items sold to visitors would have to be done. The whole profit would go to Auroville for use. She suggested the name Changestor the shop. "I would plant trees, make a terrace and quiet place for people to rest and communicate," she stated at the end of the letter.

Verne sought Roger's approval before asking Mother. Roger's note said that this idea of a "shop-showroom" was interesting and a temporary site could be chosen for it.

My noting:

Mother has approved of the idea.

Name Exchange.

Near Auroson's Home.

*

* *

27.4.71

Notice

Auroville Transport

The vehicles in "Auroville Transport" are to be used for the work of the Auroville community and Auroville projects.

Those wanting transport for personal purpose can make use of the available space in the regular bus services of Auroville or the public buses.

Trips to Madras are discouraged unless sufficient material is to be brought or the work demands such movement in Madras. Persons wanting to go for personal purposes can make reserva-

Page 114

tion in the public bus. "Auroville Transport" can help in getting the reservation if 24 hours notice is given.

Blessings.

—The Mother

*

* *

3.5.71

Mother's reply to Christiane,

The egoistic vital reactions must disappear before anything serious can be done.

6.5.71

Gene does not want to resume responsible work at the Matrimandir Centre unless it is Mother's wish. Mother's reply :

Until the building of Auroville is over, those who want to live on the spot must help in this building. So it is natural that you should take up some useful work there. Do with good will what is asked from you.

Blessings.

*

* *

12.5.71

Lisa has been producing textile articles with a new tie-dye technic and now suggests the name 'Aurocreation' as a trade label. Or any other name that Mother may give.

Mother approves the name Aurocreation.

I can help in the organisation of the work.

*

* *

20.5.71

In reply to Ravindra's letter Mother said that she has not appointed any doctor to look after sick Aurobabies. There is no child specialist there at present. One can go to Kamoo or choose anyone else.

Page 115

22.5.71

Mother gave the name Auropolyester for the polyester factory.

She said that she would write the name when the factory will be constructed.

*

* *

29.5.71

Mother wrote to Stephan,

Because of too many car accidents due to careless people, I want to make a rule that no car shall be given without written permission from Shyamsunder.

Blessings.

*

* *

30.5.71

Howard's letter about the disposal of fruits and vegetables being grown at the Nursery. Should they be distributed freely to Aurovilians or should they be sold within the Auroville community or outside of Auroville ?

Mother answered,

It depends on the quantity. One can distribute these if it is little, otherwise it can come to the kitchen and the kitchen can pay.

*

* *

9.6.71

The question of fertilisers arose on a reference from Dayanand. Mother said that she was against any chemical fertiliser. It is poisonous. it gives some more yield in the beginning, but it is not good to take things produced by it. ("I hope they are not giving it to me! "she exclaimed.) Other countries have tried it, she continued, but seen its effects and are rejecting it. What others are discarding, India is following!

I mentioned that in India cow-dung manure had been re-

Page 116

garded as the best and Merrier also thought so. Mother said that it was correct. She said that some years ago she was growing banana here and she did not use any fertilisers but the result was good. She added/'What is needed is labour, care and attention. if you save labour, you lose health."

I said, "According to my experience, plants and animals like cows respond to love and personal labour."

"Yes, yes", said Mother.

She wants Mercier, engaged in agriculture, to be left undisturbed to do what he is doing.

*

* *

The question arose regarding the difficulty of the children's kitchen at Aspiration. Mother wanted the kitchen to be very clean and the food to be simple and healthy for the children to live and grow. She did not favour many kitchens. Regarding a separate kitchen for integrated families she said, "Why division, division?" They should be encouraged to feel that they are Aurovilians and not different, integrated etc.

*

* *

Mother said that in Auroville she did not want number but quality. Twelve good men would be better than hundreds of stupid persons. Auroville is not for comfort but for the servants of the Divine. People in Auroville should not shirk hard work. They should not think of escaping from the outer control until the divine control is there.

*

* *

5.7.71

When the subject of sexual activity among the children here was mentioned to Mother and she was asked what the person in charge of the children's boarding house should do, she made the following remarks:-

i)The atmosphere here has been spoiled and has gone down. It is

full of vital desires.

ii)It should be so arranged that the boy does not go to the girl.

Page 117

iii)I hope these things do not occur in our class rooms.

iv)If names of such boys and girls are given to me I will not

see

them on their birthdays. I will not know them.

v)If they do not get cured completely they will be asked to go

Next day it was mentioned to Mother that the above trouble was not restricted to one or two cases. The young ages of the involved students show that they do it as imitation of examples they have seen and there is the influence of the cinema.

Mother nodded..

It was mentioned to her that the children said that when the elders did it why they should not.

Mother concentrated for a long time.

*

* *

22.7.71

The following note was placed before Mother,

Aspiration is a centre of work for Auroville. Those who do not work should leave their place for needed workers.

Mother wrote on it,

Yes. It is alright.

Blessings

*

* *

23.7.71

(Note read out to Mother and approved by her)

The residents of Silence will go on vacating their places for Bharatniwas without causing any delay in the work. They will help in the quicker construction of the Matrimandir Workers Camp so that some of them can shift there and some will be accommodated in the huts on the borders of Silence not immediately required for Bharatniwas. These too will be vacated as soon as needed.

The residents of Silence wish to set up some cottage industry like ceramics and tiles and live near Kottakarai village and work for the development of this village and better relations with the

Page 118

people of this village. A concrete scheme will be made by them in such a way as to suit the overall Auroville programme in consultation with Shyam Sundar and Roger and placed before the Mother for approval and blessings.

*

* *

August 71

(On August 16 I placed before Mother a request for a symbol for Auroville and its departments. She gave a design for tracing by Jayantilal.

On 24th I took the tracing to Mother. She liked it.)

She said that one of the lines should always appear perpendicular as shown in the above picture.

She explained the significance as follows;-

"The dot at the centre represents the Unity, the Supreme. The inner circle

represents the creation, the conception of the city.

The petals

represent the power of expression, realisation."

Next day I read it out to Mother and she confirmed it.

*

* *

24.8.71

Mother's note for Rod against whose irregularity and character complaints have been received :

If you want to continue the teaching work, you must be regular and teach in the school itself at teaching hours.

Page 119

26.9.71

Mother signs a note with blessings: Smoking must not be a public danger.

Those who cannot get over smoking can smoke in a smoking room made for the purpose. Blessings.

*

* *

A detailed note from Roger about security measures in Auroville was approved.

*

* *

23.11.71

A letter from outside was read in which there was a mention of pulling the supramental Force.

Mother made it clear that pulling is not advisable. What is needed is aspiration; aspiration that is self-giving. (Mother makes a gesture by hands of self- offering) If one starts pulling, the ego and selfishness create trouble. In Auroville also people are pulling.

I asked about the pulling by people in Auroville. Is it by their vital or by their mind ?

Mother replied that there are some who pull by the mind, and there are some who pull by the vital. One is as bad as the other.

*

* *

23.12.71

(To one who asked Mother about stopping his activities because his mind is not pure.)

If men had to stop work when they are not perfect, everybody would stop working. It is in the work that we must progress and purify ourselves.

Continue to do the work you are doing but never forget that it can and must be better.

Blessings.

*

* *

A letter from an unknown person at Delhi says,

Page 120

"The Saint of Puttaparthi has informed me telepathically that you are keeping very indifferent health. May God bless you with good health to inspire us, your devotees, in the pious ways of life!

I shall be eagerly waiting for a reply from you to relieve me from anxiety.

With homage.

" Mother's answer,

I am alright.

Blessings.

*

* *

30.12.71

Mother signed the following note:

In a letter published in a newspaper a supposed statement by

Mother on Bangla Desh has been quoted.

This is to inform everybody that

NO SUCH DECLARATION HAS BEEN MADE

*

* *

31.12.71

Varadharajan has asked questions from time to time about the integrated families and villagers. Many of them were for day to day matters. Here are Mother's answers to some of general interest.

One should explain to the villagers that we are there to make life better and easier for them and not more difficult. We will like to take them as people of Auroville if they collaborate and are willing for it. We have to explain it to them properly and also show that we mean it.

One has to convince them that we are their benefactors,— benefactors, but not with a sense of superiority. They have been so long ill-treated as inferiors, so they are untrusting. The sense of superiority in dealing with them must not be there.

if the Divine took the attitude of superiority, men would be crushed in a minute.

Page 121

Those villagers who have goodwill for Auroville should become stronger.

*

* *

To give things of need in place of cash is better, but one should not give with miserliness, and those to whom we give should feel that it is better for them.

*

* *

When requested for approval of the wish of two pregnant women with three children each in two integrated families for birth control surgery at the time of delivery, Mother said that she was not interested in it. She expects people in Auroville to evolve towards higher life.

If Mother is not interested in it, I cannot say yes. They can do as they like.

Page 122

II

1972

8.2.72

Last evening Mother had received a report about the attitude of superiority of some non-Indians at the Health Centre towards Indians. As soon as I entered, she asked me about it. I told her what I knew and also that I was waiting to talk to other persons concerned before speaking to her about it.

She said that people coming to Auroville from abroad should know that India is their host country and they are on the soil of India India is the country of spirituality and even a peasant here is nearer to the Divine in his heart than the philosophers of Europe. People in Auroville must recognise this fact; those who do not, have no place in Auroville. The spiritual status of India is an absolute knowledge.

She added that she was categorical in what she had just stated, and wished that I had brought a recorder to tape it.

Then she wrote a message in French, dated it, and advised its distribution:-

From the spiritual point of view, India is the foremost country in the world. Her mission is to set the example of spirituality. Sri Aurobindo came on earth to teach this to the world.

This fact is so obvious that a simple and ignorant peasant here is, in his heart, closer to the Divine than the intellectuals of Europe.

All those who want to become Aurovilians must know this and behave accordingly; otherwise they are unworthy of being Aurovilians.

P.S. Subsequently when I showed the message to the concerned persons their reaction was what Mother had already told me while giving the message.

*

* *

.2.72

I asked Mother, "28th February is the anniversary of Auroville. hat programme should we have that day ?"

Page 123

"Has Roger made any programme ?"

"No, Mother."

(Silence)

"What do you say ?" she asked.

"Mother may give a time for meditation when people at Auroville can meditate wherever they are, and they can work a little more and a little better than before for Auroville."

(Silence)

"11.30 ?"

"Yes, Mother."

*

* *

For the proposed optical glass industry at Auroville, the Government's licence and know-how collaboration can be arranged by Sharma, a friend of Ved Prakash.

Mother approved of it, but asked twice whether we have a man who knows it. I told her that we have none at present and I can ask Sharma himself.

*

* *

24.2.72

The notice for the 28th February programme was read out:—

The 28th of February is the anniversary of Auroville.

On that day—wherever we are—we shall meditate at the appointed hour 11.30 a.m. and resolve to work more and to work better than before and open ourselves ever more to the Divine Will.

Mother wrote "Blessings" and signed it.

*

* *

Aurela Soap Industries had charged the first pan for making 501 Brand soap on 21.2.72. One soap tablet was offered today to Mother. Even the markings on the wrapper were noticed by her. Champaklal will send for it for washing clothes.

*

* *

The letter dated 22nd February from some residents at Peace was read:

Page 124

"On days when special meditations are held in the Ashram, some of us would rather remain in Auroville than to go to town. We would like to hold collective meditation in Matrimandir at the same time that meditation is held at the Samadhi.

Do you approve of this ?"

Mother approves.

*

* *

25.2.72

A family wanted to leave Auroville for two months for "physical and spiritual regeneration". They were upset due to long illnesses of family members, one after another.

Mother asked, "Why are they upset ?"

I told her the reason.

They have requested for written blessings. She wrote, "Blessings".

*

* *

Mother signed the notice of the play "Katha Upanishad" on 26.2.72 at the Aspiration Cultural Centre.

*

* *

There was a request from an American Hippy, William Phillips, "Your vibrations of Universal love and light have reached my life at this time, and I'm looking forward to visit you in your physical form if you so desire. Thank you."

He was allowed to come for Pranam in group.

*

* *

6.2.72

A French resident at Aspiration has written about his thirst to read books on Matter and scientific things. Before, he felt joy and happiness in reading only books of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. He wanted to know if this new movement merited a free flow.

Mother gave the advice to read 'The Life Divine' and 'The Synthesis of Yoga' to have the answer to all questions.

Page 125

The note on Cinema in Auroville, based on what Mother had said to Roger yesterday was read out :

Children below 15 will see only educational films.

Care should be taken in selecting films to be shown in Auroville.

Mother explained that films showing countries, mountains etc. should be shown. Not many such films are there, but the films which, in general, lower the consciousness, should not be shown.

A week later she added on the note:

All that encourages the lower movements and actions must be avoided. Blessings.

*

* *

S. wrote to Mother offering her body to have the illnesses and obstacles that Mother's body was having.

Mother said,

"It is kind of her.

But I have no ailments.

The body is in course of transformation.

As for obstacles, everybody has got them."

*

* *

27.2.72

Mother touched the foundation stone and prasad for S. Niyogi's house for the 29th inst.

She gave blessings for Mark, Aleena and Aurovarsha for their journey to Europe.

28.2.72

Mother was looking for something. Kumud was called and asked about a cheque. I told Mother that I had already received it from Dyuman.

Out of the writing pads offered by Meenakshi and Sukanya,

Page 126

the one made by Meenakshi, bearing the Auroville symbol, was given to me by Mother on Champaklal's suggestion.

When I came down, Meenakshi said that she had wished it to come to me, although she did not speak about it.

Kiran's Auroville album was placed before Mother for blessings. Mother wanted to see some photos and after seeing the first two sheets, she wrote blessings, and gave a transformation flower for Kiran.

*

* *

I spoke to Mother about the birthdays of people at Auroville. I was telling them that Mother wished to see only those whom she knew, who were here for more than a year and were of service to Auroville. For visitors, I was seeing about their services. But what about the students of the Aspiration School ?

Mother said that she could not see them; there were too many people.

Kumud intervened to say, "Today there are 251."

Mother said, "You see."

*

* *

Upon Chamanlal's request to Mother for someone to do the opening of the Meteorological Station, Mother asked me to do it. It was for the next day, the 29th February, and as at 6 a.m. we were to start the concreting work of the Matrimandir pillars, I will be at the Matrimandir then. So I asked Mother if Roger could do it.

She said, "If he likes."

Then she said, "There is meditation here tomorrow."

"The work starts at 6. We will be back in time."

*

* *

Sebastian wanted to dance at the Matrimandir the next day in the evening in the foundation-hole. I commented that the concreting work was to start in the morning and these things disturbed the work.

Mother said, "He can dance elsewhere."

*

* *

Page 127

29.2.72

Today Mother had no time, so no talk.

But what a smile !

*

* *

1.3.72

Frederick's proposal of "Aurofund for Rural Development" to receive money from the German Association was approved.

For surgery on Mercier's hernia there was a choice between Dr. Satyabrata Sen and JIPMER. The latter was approved.

Katak's trip to Dharamshala to see the Dalai Lama was approved. Mother did not wish to give a message for the Dalai Lama.

Mother gave blessings for Sachala, a child at the Ashram, who was seriously ill in the night.

*

* *

2.3.72

Mother was pleased to see and touch the first cube of concrete cast at the Matrimandir, offered by Piero to her.

The cube was sent to the Auroville Exhibition as suggested to me by Champaklal.

*

* *

For Sachala, who is better, but who cries, "I want only you,

Mother", Mother gave her photo to be kept on the bed.

*

* *

3.3.72

Dayanand sent flowers of gratitude to Mother for the settlement of the tractor issue at the Lake Estate last evening.

She asked, "Settled ?", z

and was happy to know that it was so.

*

* *

I reported about the daily new arrivals at Pondicherry. Two to

Page 128

three young people from foreign countries are coming, who have some money to live on, are used to drugs and smoking, and wish to join Auroville, but are not found useful for Auroville or do not wish to work.

Mother inquired, "Where do they stay ? What do they do the whole day ?"

"They are easy going people without discipline, enjoying smoking and drugs. At Auroville we have no accommodation left for about six months to come. If I tell them 'No' for anything, how angry they become !"

She said, "Have we not said 'no smoking, no drugs in

Auroville'?"

"For drugs, yes; but for smoking Mother has given the provision of a smoking room. But even this is not followed."

Mother said that I should tell people that those who did not ask us before and are not accepted will not be taken by

Auroville.

*

* *

I reported a remark of Yvonne's about me and wanted to know if I needed rectification on that point.

Mother told me not to care for what others say, and added.

"Mind is unreliable and makes all sorts of mistakes. Even if someone tells me that someone is criminal, it does not affect my seeing. I see differently... A day will come, I don't say that it will come soon, but it will come when the truth will be out.

Let others wallow in the mud, it does not matter, "

*

* *

4.3.72

"Mother, what should I do for the truer and faster progress of Auroville ?"

"Any problem ?"

"Everyday I bring questions and problems and Mother gives answers. Does Mother wish to say something particular today?"

"No", she said and raised her arms.

*

* *

I read out the letter of Kenneth. Should he go to Auroville ?

Page 129

Mother said that she would like him to be at Auroville. At the

Ashram one does not produce children.

*

* *

5.3.72

Mother signed formal resolutions.

She inquired about the position of the Hand Made Paper Unit. I answered that we expected to commence production in the month of May.

*

* *

6.3.72

Mother gave blessings for Stephan Joss who wants to go to Puddukottai for the cure of his knee at a Nature Cure Sanatorium there. She inquired about the distance and direction of Puddukottai from here.

*

* *

I placed the request for birthday pranam for a three year old and a one year old child, both born at Auroville.

Mother agreed to see them.

She called Champaklal and said, "Champaklal, I wish to make an exception in the case of children born in Auroville. They can come to me when they are one year old."

"Yes, Mother," said Champaklal.

She said that it was not good that children below one year be seen by her, but Kamoo was bringing even one or two months old children.

For adults in Auroville, she says that she does not wish to see those who have been here less than a year.

She agreed to see a very troublesome person who has been here since several years.

I said, "Mother, if this man is called, others who have come recently and are of better service to Auroville may feel that such a man gets the opportunity whereas they do not. This is a difficulty on the physical plane."

Page 130

She said that she was not interested in seeing this man, in fact she was not interested in seeing anyone. "I want to control, but..."

I said that whatever she thought good for Auroville, she should decide; I was simply trying to understand.

She asked, "Should I write or you will remember ?"

"I will prepare a note and read it to you tomorrow."

*

* *

7.3.72

The note on birthdays was read out:

"For birthdays of persons in Auroville Mother can see those who are in Auroville since more than a year.

Children born in Auroville can come when they are one year of age and more, other children when they are four years of age and more."

Mother said, "It is very good."

After we finished some other items of work, on the suggestion of Champaklal, I placed the birthday note before Mother for he signature.

She asked, "Should I write 'approved' ? "

"Yes, Mother."

"Have you signed it ?"

"No, it is a plain note."

Then she wrote Blessings and signed.

*

* *

Mother approved of the opening of the 'Auroville Designs' account in the State Bank of India.

*

* *

I put up the request of a British visitor to see Mother. He had written a letter to her, an interesting one. She was not so interested, but consented to see him.

I spoke about foreigners with big hair and beards coming here being directed to me now-a-days as they are thought to be Aurovilians. Mother had a laugh and she said raising her hands towards her hair, "Oh ! They are coming with big hair !"

Page 131

"And when they make requests to see Mother, I will bring the same."

She nodded.

*

* *

8.3.72

Informed Mother of the death of Auroselvan, born in Auroville in October 70, child of Ramchandran, a paid driver of Auroville. The JIPMER doctor wished to have the body for dissection.

She asked, "What is the wish of the parents ?"

"The father wishes the body to be buried at Promesse near Auroson and Dorothy's child."

"It is better," she said.

*

* *

Last night there was an outbreak of fire at the Workshop at Aspiration. Attached to the Workshop was the store-room of Auroconstruction. Both were completely burnt with the materials there. Also two vans and one car. The loss in terms of money would be about five lakhs of rupees. The fire started at about 10 p.m. A few minutes before, there was an altercation with the paid watchman who was reported to be drunk and trying to drive away the van. There was a rumour that some persons in the village were thinking of destroying the Workshop.

Mother asked, "Was it insured ?"

"No, Mother."

"Who is in charge ?"

"Ved Prakash was put in charge, but people there were always quarrelling with him, so some time back it was decided that he would have another place for the work and Vincenzo was in charge of this Workshop. Most of the things there came with people coming from abroad, some were purchased by Auroville, some were donated by Vincenzo's wife Claire."

Mother concentrated long.

"Mother, what may be the reason ?"

"You mean reason, or cause ?"

"Yes, Mother."

Page 132

She concentrated.

I asked, "Should the police be asked to leave or to continue their inquiry ?"

"Can they help in finding the responsibility ?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Well."

Coming out I saw Vincenzo waiting with a wish to see Mother. He was called in and when he came out he was in tears.

Mother had spoken to him about the lack of harmony and absence of real aspiration for the Divine due to which her protection did not work.

To Vincenzo's question,'Do I have to start again ?", she had said, "Always we have to start again; everybody has to start again with the true aspiration to the Divine..

*

* *

9.3.72

Mother said, "Alors ?"

"The police have not been able yet to find any person as responsible for the fire."

"It is not a person", she said.

(concentration)

"Madhusudan, an integrated family man has been held by the police for investigation. He says that he is innocent and prays to Mother for protection."

"Naturally, poor man !"

(concentration)

"Mother, it is a big blow for us. Unless we, those who are working at Auroville, learn lessons from it, I don't know what will happen in future."

"The atmosphere there was so bad that my protection which is there was ineffective. But it was a big blow."

"In the Polyester unit, close by the Workshop, people were working well and harmoniously. There were explosive materials in it, but the fire did not touch that side."

"Yes, yes." (concentration)

"Was the workshop in a house ?"

Page 133

"No, Mother, it was in a hut-shed."

"It is dangerous."

"Yes, Mother, and we have decided to shift to a pucca

building."

(concentration)

Then she asked, "Have you received something ?"

She was looking towards the place where money envelopes are kept. I had received one, so I said "Yes". It was an envelope containing Rs 1000 from Madhav Pandit for reconstruction with his letter of a pained heart.

*

* *

Then other works were transacted:

(i)signing of the Bank resolution for 'Auroville Designs';

(ii)reply to Piero and Vikas that she doesn't like haphazard work;

(iii)reply to a woman from Indonesia;

(iv)disposal of requests for admission to Auroville; (v) disposal of requests for Pranam.

A group of nine visitors got permission, but Mother said,

"Oh, nine !"

*

* *

10.3.72

"Mother, the police has not been able to find out about the fire. I have no hope now that they will be able to do so."

"No."

"So we will let the matter be closed in a few days." Mother nodded.

"Mother, I don't think that people in Auroville are going to learn a lesson from it. They are still busy with mutual criticisms."

She expressed disgust and went into concentration.

*

* *

Mother gave her photo for someone who was having difficult nights which affected his waking state also and brought a kind of revolt.

Page 134

A Japanese woman who wrote, "I want to know who I am", was allowed to go to Mother with me, instead of joining the group.

*

* *

Birthday Pranam requests and admission requests were disposed of.

*

* *

11.3.72

Mother gave Rs 50/25, the offering of the School children for the Matrimandir.

*

* *

12.3.72

"Mother, the people in Auroville want to know what she has said about the fire accident. I have prepared a note."

When I came to the words, There was no harmony', Mother said, "Not only harmony, there is no unity, no sincerity, no consecration to the Divine, no faith, no confidence in the Divine. It was not the Divine's fault."

She asked me to continue to read. At the end she said, "It is alright."

Then I added the words, 'no sincerity, no faith and no confidence in the Divine' and when I read the whole sentence again, she nodded.

The whole statement then read as follows:

In connection with the fire in the Workshop at Aspiration Mother has said that Her protection was not effective because the atmosphere there was very bad. There was no harmony, no sincerity, no faith and no confidence in the Divine. Each one worked for his own proper satisfaction and not with an aspiration to the Divine.

The blow was big, but it is a lesson to learn.

We should start again, start again with the right attitude of working for the transformation.

(Note corrected and approved by Mother.)

Page 135

13.3.72

Mother wrote the reply to Shanti,

"I will like you to do your best to organise the education at Aspiration.

With love and blessings."

Ambabhikshu has written that his wife living outside is pregnant and wants the delivery to take place in Auroville, the child to be an Aurovilian.

Mother wrote, "All right. Blessings."

Requests for birthday pranam were disposed of.

The parents of the child born at Health Centre on 8.3.72 want the name to come from Mother as the child was born in the Mother's city.

Mother gave the name 'Auroshe' and wrote the names of the parents. Then she made another copy for the child's parents. (All this for an unknown villager's family.)

*

* *

Ved Prakash had found Anil to be dishonest. I transferred Anil to another work. Now Ved Prakash says that this means that a dishonest man is allowed to feel that he can live in Auroville in spite of his dishonesty.

Mother said, "He is correct." In this case he is to be told that he is on trial.

*

* *

14.3.72

Mother approved of the Bombay trip of Vincenzo and Claire for funds for the reconstruction of the workshop after asking me, "What do you think of it ?" and getting my reply that it seems alright to me and to Nava also.

*

* *

Mother approved of the so-called 'Shop Project' of Claire and in response to her request for a name, she first uttered 'Aurofraternity', then 'Auroutility', but remarked, "These are not the right words". Then came 'Pour Tous', 'For All', and she wrote

Page 136

the name with blessings. She dated it as March 1972 after inquiring today's date.

*

* *

For the 27th April musical performance at Madras for the benefit of the Matrimandir, Shobha and her party will participate. They have not gone out of Pondicherry since years and want Mother's blessings and protection. They wish to go to her before leaving for Madras. She agreed to see them in group and gave blessing packets.

*

* *

Names of two drug-takers were reported.

For the first one to whom I had not talked about it, Mother said that I should first speak to her about it.

The second one has admitted that he was taking ganja once a week, but he cannot promise that he will give it up. Mother said,

"Tell him that if he tries to give it up, my help will be there."

*

* *

The Japanese woman Fukiko was called in. Her question was, "Who am I ?"

Mother meditated with her and said, "Look deep inside yourself and you will know the answer. "Then she gave her a blessing packet which she should hold in her hand while doing so.

*

* *

15.3.72

It was already 10 o'clock and Satprem was waiting outside. I said 'Rien d'urgent' (nothing urgent) and got a quiet minute with Mother.

16.3.72

Krishna Aiyar's complaint regarding the hygienic conditions

Page 137

in Auroville was read. Of course Mother knew of it. The draft notice was approved and she wrote blessings and signed:

Hygiene in Auroville

Strict cleanliness is highly desirable in Auroville in community kitchens and places of sanitation. The present state is far from satisfactory. For lasting improvement the community as a whole should accept it as a need and some persons should take responsibility of looking after these matters.

The following persons have already offered their services for this purpose:-

1.Kusum for Promesse

2.Shanti for Health Centre Kitchen.

Volunteers are needed for Aspiration. Names may be submitted to

Mother through Shyamsunder. Blessings

—Mother

Then the question of cheese came up.

In Europe cheese is made from unboiled milk. At Aspiration it is done the same way. But the conditions in Europe and India are different. Cheese made from boiled milk may not be so good, but it is safer to boil the milk for this purpose.

Apart from the question of cheese, Mother further advised boiling in general from the viewpoint of health.

She added, "In Auroville you have to tell people persistently."

(Next day I issued a notice containing Mother's advice about boiling milk.)

*

* *

Letter of Tim Rees regarding the Forest Seedling Nursery. Mother said, "It will have an effect on the climate." In response for a name, she said Success and wrote it.

Regarding agriculture I wanted to know whether more farms should be developed by giving charge to capable persons for each farm, to one or two for each farm.

Page 138

Mother agreed and advised, "But it is necessary that the Europeans who do it should first know the Indian conditions."

"Should we have one Indian with one European ?"

"Yes, yes."

After a pause she mentioned Mercier's name.

"But, Mother, he may not be having time."

"Yes, and he is old."

*

* *

Norman Dowsett's letter. In view of Mother's letter to Shanti a few days ago he wanted to know about his own function and that of Anand.

Mother spoke the reply and told me to write it and show it to her next morning.

*

* *

17.3.72

The following reply for Norman was read out,

"You will continue to go to Aspiration as at present. Shanti is always there and you can advise her. Also Anand. Besides, the work you are doing at Pondicherry for the Aspiration School and Sri Aurobindo Society is useful."

Mother wrote blessings and signed.

A long letter of Anand was read. He had written about how he had organised the classes and asked two questions.

To the first question whether Mother approved of the system and if it should continue, she said, "Yes. It has my full approval." The second question asked if it should be changed. Mother said No.

*

* *

"I have spoken to J. She admits having taken drugs. There is another American girl who also admits this, but she says that she does not believe it."

"What does she not believe ? "

"That Mother has said, 'No drugs in Auroville'. "

Mother kept silent.

"What to do about such people ?"

Page 139

Mother gave me a typed sheet saying it was for the Ashram.

I said, "The visitors to the Ashram are not following the Ashram rules. They do all sorts of things, but due to their stay in the Ashram Guest Houses they get Mother's protection, otherwise the Government can handle them differently. Nowadays there are newcomers everyday."

I suggested some additional words in the typed sheet to make it clearer. The words 'or in the Ashram guest House as a visitor' were to be put in the last para, after the opening words 'While you are at the Ashram'. Mother accepted the suggestion and again heard the sentence as altered. Kumud was told to note it and she will convey it to Maggi.

The text is as follows:

Before answering your enquiry we must inform you that it is now very rare indeed that applicants are admitted to the Ashram except in absolutely exceptional cases. They must have an outstanding aptitude for this yoga and must offer their work unconditionally.

They must also offer all that they possess and are required to observe the following rules of the Ashram: no sex, no drugs, no alcohol, no tobacco, no politics.

You may, if you like, come as an independent visitor but we would advise you to study the teachings of Sri Aurobindo before coming.

We enclose a list of the Ashram Guest Houses.

While you are at the Ashram or in the Ashram Guest House as a visitor, you will be required to observe the rules of the Ashram.

*

* *

18.3.72

Mother signed her photo for the Mat Weaving Centre at Aspiration, a note with blessings for Nirmala Sachdeva approving her working in the Auromodel Health Centre kitchen, and the Balance Sheet of Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society for 1970.

*

* *

Mother permitted Anand Reddy to come with his father on

Page 140

28.3.72 to take Sri Aurobindo's relics to Hyderabad and go there for the installation ceremony. About his further' request for permission to go to Orissa, Konarak Temple etc, she first kept silent. Then arose the question of his absence of more than two weeks while the school is in session. She said, "I was thinking of that", but finally she did not object.

*

* *

In response to Bill's letter regarding the sinister effect of R on him, Mother gave a blessing packet which he should keep on his person.

*

* *

19.3.72

Chamanlal has asked whether Mother wishes that he does the liaison work between Newcombe, the UNDP expert, and Auroville.

Mother wrote, "I wish that you take up this work."

*

* *

20.3.72—25.3.72

Mother has not been keeping well. She did not see us.

*

* *

26.3.72

Mother resumed seeing the daily-goers. Physically speaking, it was just going and coming.

*

* *

27.3.72

Mother still looked very weak in body. I did not place any matter before her. She asked, "Nothing ?"

"Nothing urgent, Mother."

Page 141

28.3.72

A cheque for Auroville, wrongly addressed to the Ashram, has been received. Mother asked me if I got it. I told her that it is after a long time that we have received something.

*

* *

Dayanand has raised the question about the offer of the Pondicherry State Congress Committee to have him as its member.

Mother advised, "Better to accept it."

*

* *

Two persons in Forecomers take drugs and refuse to believe that drugs are not to be taken in Auroville in spite of Mother's clear injunction, 'No drugs in Auroville'.

Mother said, "If my authority is not respected in Auroville, do you not think that there will be more difficulties there ? Do you think it will be better ? What do you mean by 'they do not believe' ? Do they think they have a right to do what they like in Auroville ? Have they the right to kill others if they so like ? Do they understand this ? "She repeated, "Do they understand this?"

"Mother, as they refuse to obey the conditions, they should go-"

"What for are they in Auroville ? To do what they like ?"

"I have tried my best to persuade them. One of them when living at the Auroville Centre had promised not to take drugs. Now he says that his promise was for that' place, not for Forecomers. Tomorrow he will say that his promise was for the particular house he was living in and not for the one to which he has now shifted."

"Yes. I did not know that all this has happened. Well, I do not say that they should be here. But if they refuse to go ?"

"For that I can do the necessary. Till now all those who were asked to go have been made to go. They refuse to go, two days, three days, even more, but in the end they go."

*

* *

29.3.72

Robert, the dentist at Aspiration, informs Mother that he was

Page 142

asked to look after the teeth of the children at the Aspiration School. Richard and Therese have agreed that he could use their chamber at Pondicherry once a week until the dental chamber comes up at Aspiration

Mother has no objection.

Regarding his wish to go to France with Anata and to bring a car to be used by him and Anata, Mother said that the car would not be acceptable on these conditions, and it would be better that they do not come back.

*

* *

There is a joint letter from an American boy and a French girl, informing Mother of their intimacy, their feeling of psychic relationship and intervention of vitalistic attraction.

Mother said that the psychic relationship does not express itself in this form. If it expresses itself, there would be no doubt of the confusion of vital relationship.

*

* *

Two persons rejected several times before were given a chance to be in Auroville. They have apologized. I told Mother that I do not believe their words.

*

* *

30.3.72

Behram and Dhan Palkhivala have sent Rs 5000 for the workshop at Aspiration. Mother gave blessing packets for them.

*

* *

Diane's letter.

In reply to her question about work and meditation during these last three months of pregnancy Mother explained that she should do so only such work as does not strain her. At this time strain and fatigue should be avoided.

"I have suggested that she works on the plants in the Matrimandir Nursery an hour or two when she feels like it."

"Yes, that is very good."

Then came the question of her relationship with Larry from

Page 143

whom the baby is coming. The baby is not coming from her husband.

Mother said, "What is this? Going after one man and another! I do not wish to say anything... For, well, I am in this matter old-styled."

"Mother has said something on 'no marriages in auroville'. She has also spoken of the soul-relationship between man and woman, but people choose to read the first part only, then to couple it with their idea of liberty and non-discipline, and to do such things. If Mother does not reply, it will be understood as her consent."

Mother said 'We are trying to be above humanity, but these things are animal things, below humanity. In future when there will be no need of sexual activity for birth, that will be a proof of it.

Tell her that they can be good friends, but for good friendship kissing is not necessary, nor sexual activity."

*

* *

Sandy's letter about a man at Aspiration posing as a guru, some persons gathering around him, and the bad effect of his contact on herself.

Mother said, "Let those who are interested in these vital things have their experience and see for themselves what happens. They can be left to themselves. One need not do anything about it."

"Mother, she wants help and protection for herself." Mother took out a blessing packet for her and said,

"Let us see. But, for the protection she has to be sincere. One cannot ask for protection and claim it in spite of what one may like to do... I say it once for all... Will you remember?"

*

* *

31.3.72

Mother signed Sri Aurobindo Memorial Fund Society's annual Return for 1970 for filing with the Registrar of Societies.

She wrote Blessings on the announcement of the Society's U.P. Conference at Lucknow.

Page 144

Took three blessing packets.

*

* *

The State Bank wishes to open a branch in Auroville. Roger had spoken to Mother about it and then to the Bank that in their branch at Auroville there should not be employees in the office, but people who have accepted the Auroville way. The Bank says that the ideal is good, but it is not possible to do so at present. The matter had gone to the Chairman, Talwar; he also finds it difficult. It is a Governmental organisation and legal difficulties are there.

Mother said,

"In Auroville we should not have the old way, otherwise it will always be there. The Bank can have its branch outside Auroville."

"Yes, Mother."

"What is your proposal? "

"Either outside or perhaps in Aspiration."

"Yes, it can be in Aspiration."

"As a transition. Right type of people willing to work this way might come."

"Yes."

*

* *

In Forecomers there was Bob Lawlor from the beginning. Now he is in America. He has written to Navoditte asking for circulation in Auroville of what Mother has said about Auroville.

Mother said,

"Send them what I have said yesterday, and not what has been printed before, what was printed without telling me about it but as if I had said it."

"Yes, Mother. I will show the note tomorrow."

*

* *

Navoditte wants to know whether what Mother had spoken to the Aspiration people in the early days could be used now after selection. At that time Mother had said that it was not for publication.

"I do not remember," said Mother. "Can you show it to me?"

Page 145

"First Navoditte can select; then I can see and bring it."

"Yes."

*

* *

The subject of differences and quarrels between Nava and Udar came up. Roger has spoken to Mother about the points of arrangement arrived at between them. As one participating in the matter, I reported to Mother that according to me it was not an agreement for there was no change of heart. At best it was a working arrangement which will fall at the first test of reality.

"Yes, it will fall at the test of reality", said Mother. "Both must change."

She added, "People come and tell me that they wish to do my will, but all they want is to do what they will. I look straight into the heart; pretensions can not help. I can not be cheated. It is cheating oneself."

"Mother, on the one hand we are talking of the Supermind and human unity, on the other hand, among people who go outside..."

"Where?"

"To Delhi, Bombay, Calcutta, etc... there are not even four who can work together."

"Yes, they talk of human unity and act like this. It is grotesque."

"People outside are intelligent, and they laugh at us."

"Yes, they laugh."

*

* *

"Mother, should I tell X to come or keep quiet?"

"You keep quiet."

*

* *

1.4.72

The monthly offering from Kishorilal and Prabha was handed over to Mother. She wrote as usual on the cover that goes back to Prabha, "To Prabha, with love and blessings."

*

* *

Udar came last evening and asked Krishna, "Why is Nava not

Page 146

coming when he has been asked by Mother?" They phoned him this morning and he is coming this evening for a day.

Mother looked very pleased and said, "It is better that he comes like this without being called."

*

* *

2.4.72

Huta's letter for blessings for Anne, who will project the Savitri slides tomorrow instead of Richard who is ill, was read. Mother gave her photo for Anne as blessings and flowers for Huta.

Huta had presented me a copy of 'About Savitri' and wished that I get it touched by Mother. Mother wrote blessings on it.

*

* *

Informed Mother about Nava's arrival and Rs 1.75 lakh brought by him.

*

* *

Prof. Newcombe's letter refers to the four zone sketch of Auroville drawn by Mother. He writes, "The sketch shows the main elements of the town: cultural, residential, industrial and international. Did you envisage at the time that each element should be identical with one single land use zone? Or would it be acceptable to arrange in the new city around Matrimandir, a number of sectors (say six), each one of these containing a part of the four elements? Such an arrangement would bring the four elements more intimately together and particularly from the point of view of education it would produce to a greater extent that richness of the environment which I believe Sri Aurobindo demanded in relation to the universal university. If all the four elements can be included within one sector, it is, of course, possible to construct one sector at a time which may be considered a great advantage."

Mother's reply for the Professor was, "We are open towards everything, but it needs study."

Then she said, "I am not an architect. I can't decide these questions. What he suggests has some advantages, but great

Page 147

disadvantages. It will create confusion. I had said before what I had seen, what came to me in vision."

I showed her the photo of the original sketch.

She said, "Yes, that is what I saw."

I drew her attention to the shifting of the location of the four zones. She said, "Yes, that he can do."

She had also remarked earlier, "I have given the charge of architecture to Roger and he is capable."

"Roger goes to France on the 5th inst. for a month. If I come tomorrow with Roger when he brings Newcombe to Mother, I can follow up the matter better."

"Yes, that's it."

*

* *

3.4.72

"Between the residential colony of Aspiration and the Handmade Paper unit under construction there is a small ravine upon which a bridge has been constructed by Auroconstruction—its first complete job. Tomorrow morning they wish to open it and want me to be there for it."

Mother said, "Yes."

"I think some child born in Auroville should be the first to walk over it."

"Yes, who?"

"Auroson?"

"How old is he?"

"About three."

"No, he can't be three."

"I am not sure, perhaps less."

"He is 18 months. You can ask Aurofilio he has a will. If he goes, you take him; else, Auroson and his mother."

*

* *

Auroville has taken 26 lakhs from the State Bank of India. The lands are given as security. Six lakh are to be repaid by 30.6.72 and the balance by 31.12.72. It is not expected that we will accumulate this big sum to be paid off at one time. So, although we are in financial shortage at present, from the monies which come I can go on repaying 50% to the Bank.

Page 148

Mother said, "Yes, yes. This is what should be done."

*

* *

The polyester unit's construction has stopped for want of money. Louis Cohen could not bring money from France. The Bank is willing to give money for it. It is an industrial unit and repayment can be made out of its earnings.

Mother approved.

*

* *

I mentioned to Mother the receipt of the typed copy of her conversation with Satprem on 30.3.72 for circulation in Auroville. She wanted me to read it out. Some portions were deleted.

*

* *

Near Aspiration a new colony Fraternity is coming up. The people there who wish to live there, want to organize their lives in an autonomous way.

Mother said, "They can try."

"I have made it clear to them that only those who are accepted by Mother to be at Auroville should be there and the ideals of Auroville have to be recognized by them. If they need any help from me, I am at their disposal."

"Yes, try."

*

* *

4.4.72

Today the kitchen started by Prabha at Pondicherry is one year old. Asked for a blessings card, Mother wrote blessings with the following dates at the top:

4.4.71

4.4.72

She gave blessings packets for the workers there.

*

* *

Mother made a card for Auroshilpam, the Sanskrit name for Auroindustries, the industrial sector of Auroville.

Page 149

The first eggs received from the poultry at 'Service Farm' were offered to Mother. She took one in her hand and put it back in the basket. The basket went to the Aspiration kitchen.

*

**

A passage from the conversation on 30.3.72 was read again. The English passage was restored and changes were made in the French version. The sentence, as altered, was reread and approved.

*

* *

Kishorilal has received a letter from his nephew at Varanasi where his mother is ill and has got a heart attack. The letter asks them to go there once.

"What does he say?"

"He says that he has nothing to say."

"I too have nothing to say except that the best will be done... With my protection the best will be done, but not always the best in the sense as one would like it to be... "

*

* *

"Roger spoke to Mother yesterday that he will come today when I am here and ask her something about Auroville. "Yes," said Mother.

"The question is about undesirable people in Auroville. Sometimes people rejected by Roger and me are accepted by Mother. I am not capable of judging the people beyond a mental judgment; I simply place the facts. Mother can see the people in their inside, their soul, their destiny, and as I understand her—I may make mistakes in understanding her—but I try to do as I have understood. For me it is alright. Auroville is Mother's responsibility. Roger is exercised over the problem and what she will reply is alright for me. "

She wanted specific instances and I gave some names.

(Mother's answer and the rest of the conversation were taped by Kumud.)

"Some people say that they are spies and are kept by the American Government, some others, some Americans tell me that the Americans would never take such incapable spies! So

Page 150

myself I don't see the... To tell the truth, I don't appreciate them very much, but I have nothing very positive against them. That's all. It's all like that. I tried my best to push them out, that is to say, that they would want to go. But they... it didn't happen, they really willed to remain. If we could have evident proof that they are spies, then it would be very easy. I would tell them to go. But for so many years they have been here. It must be proved, it can't be a feeling or an idea or something like that, there must be a concrete proof. Voila.

I would like that the Divine's will should manifest very clearly in a very positive way. Because human appreciation is worth nothing. He alone knows the Truth, and it is He who has to decide. Like that. I don't know if you understand and follow; what I say may not be clear. But I—you see, to tell the truth, I have no respect for human appreciation and outlook, and I am absolutely convinced that only the Divine can see the truth. What I do is to tell, to show clearly His way so that we will do only what He says, what He sees. We are not capable of seeing. We will go by the Divine."

(silence)

"Let Your will be done whatever it is. Voila. That's my position."

(Roger is called in.)

Roger: There has been a chain of events which makes it necessary for me to ask you a question. I have read this question to Shyam Sunder, because we have spoken together at length, insofar as we feel that certain decisions must be made to try and improve the situation in Auroville. But we keep running up against the same problem, which I have summarized in this letter:

"Auroville is burdened by a small group of people who are contaminating its life and spirit and jeopardizing its progress. They thwart any effort to implement safety and hygiene measures, working decisions, and they behave in contradiction to Auroville's ideal. One solution would be to send some of these people back home and, for a certain period, to limit newcomers to those elements directly useful to the building of Auroville.

We see that, in practice, this possibility has not been endorsed by you. Is the presence of these elements—which according to

Page 151

us are undesirable—necessary to Auroville for reasons known to the Divine consciousness? Are we supposed to build Auroville amidst the difficulties they represent? And are they useful to Auroville's development?"

Mother: In a general and absolute way, difficulties are always graces. And due to... (How can I put it?) human weaknesses they fail to be helpful. Difficulties are always graces. I have been on earth for quite a while this time and always—always, always, always, without a single exception—I have seen in the end that difficulties are nothing but graces. I can neither feel nor see things otherwise because it has been my experience all my life. I might be upset at first and say, 'How come, I am full of goodwill, yet difficulties keep piling up...' But afterwards, I could have simply given myself a slap: 'Silly you! It's just to bring more perfection to your character and the work!' There.

(silence)

Some persons have been driven out of the Ashram into Auroville. Those, I admit, are difficult elements who make things difficult. I wish they would be naturally driven out of Auroville to... somewhere else. This wouldn't be very nice for the rest of the world—but never mind! Although in a free environment, they may be tolerable. Practically, one would have to speak to each one individually.

Now go on, tell me what you wanted to say.

Roger: Well, Mother, I simply wanted to know if we are supposed to accept the presence of these seemingly undesirable people as a necessity for Auroville's growth, and if so, we'll just have to act accordingly and face the difficulties they represent; or should we take definite measures to solve the problems of safety, the problems of hygiene...

Mother: What problems of hygiene? What problems of safety?

Roger: For example, Mother, it's absolutely useless to give them fire extinguishers, hoses and water if they don't make any effort to learn how to use the fire extinguisher and keep the water hose in proper condition.

Mother: Yes, that's plain.

Roger: The same for hygiene.

Mother: Is there no one who could be given the responsibility for those things?

Roger: Yes, Mother, we'll have to manage with what we have.

Page 152

Mother: Yes. Something could be organized with the people we can trust, and if the others are dissatisfied, they can leave. Do you understand what I mean? Instead of taking an active position of 'Go away' (which for many reason's is very difficult), if we put them under authority they don't accept, they will be forced to leave. They will protest at first, but we must remain firm: 'This is how it is'.

We must find the people capable of doing this, with the required strength of character, and once we find them, they can be given the authority, and if the others don't like it, they'll have to leave! And that's that. But we can't dismiss people who are already there as long as we don't have the person or persons capable of actively assuming that position.

Roger: Yes, Mother, it's clear. But there's also the problem of admissions to Auroville.

Mother: Oh, well?

Roger: For instance, certain elements seem absolutely undesirable to us from the start. And yet these people are sometimes accepted. Is there a reason for this?

Mother: On trial. Only on a trial basis, never otherwise.

Roger: But, Mother, once they're here on trial, nobody can ever send them away!

Mother: Ah, no! If they are not satisfactory, they can be sent away. I was only speaking of those (this is in fact what I was saying to Shyam Sunder) whom I was forced to remove from the Ashram because they were totally undesirable in the Ashram, and they went to Auroville; these people should either go, or else feel... as I said, feel that they have no place here. But the newcomers, those who are accepted on a trial basis and who turn out to be undesirable, can be sent away. I meant the old-timers, those who have been here for years and years. But the newcomers, all those who have been taken on trial and are not satisfactory, they can leave—they must leave. I give you (Mother points to Roger and myself) full authority to send them away.

You see, some people come to me—I don't know their names, I don't know what they do, I know nothing about them; the new requests for admission should come to me through one of you two (because you know the practical situation and the people). Unfortunately, many people write to me, and I don't know, you

Page 153

see, I never remember names; I only remember when I know who they are, what they do and so on. but if you know these people's worth and can tell me, 'This one is like this or that,' I trust what you say; and if you tell me, 'That person is undesirable,' well, he must go. But I have to be informed beforehand, because people usually go through one person, then another to get their request to me, and I don't keep track, I don't know. Do you see the picture? I give a general answer, and they take it as... because I think it's somebody else. I don't remember, I forget names—the next minute I have forgotten. My head is full of... something far vaster than all that, you know. There should be one person—one or two (two is very good)—to present the admissions to Auroville, and I fully agree to send back those you (Mother points to Roger and myself) find undesirable.

Do you understand?

Roger: Yes, Mother. But at present all the requests are presented by Shyam Sunder. No one else presents requests from newcomers. So things should be simple?

Mother: Are you sure about that?

Roger: For instance, the other day (I use this example, Mother, because for me it was a real problem), there was a girl who was on drugs and who had been expelled from Auroville; she asked Shyam Sunder to be allowed to come back. And we...

Mother A girl?

Roger: Yes, Mother. Shyam Sunder and I were against it, but you said, 'She must be given one more chance'.

Mother: Yes—yes, for one more month?

I: They have been there for a week now, on trial.

Mother: You must give them at least one month. At least one month. But if they show the slightest insincerity, you understand, if they say, T don't do this, I do that, I won't do this, etc...', just tell them, 'You can leave.' You don't even need to ask me, you can just send them away. Simply inform me: such and such person has been found unsatisfactory. I give you the authority to do it. I won't protest. But I must be informed because plenty of people come to me and... they're very cunning, you see: they find another person to channel their request.

Roger: The question in our minds, Mother, was to know whether you saw these people as being useful in providing Auroville with a certain type of difficulty.

Page 154

Mother. No! Certainly not! No, no, I don't favour deliberately adding difficulties! I know they come for... but they should be made as easy as possible. Only, we shouldn't be ruffled by difficulties, that's the point. I am not at all saying that difficulties should be accepted—don't invite them at all, at all, at all; life is difficult enough as it is! But when a difficulty comes, you must take heart and face it courageously.

We must strive for Order, Harmony, Beauty and... collective aspiration—all the things which for the moment are not there. We must... you see, being the organizers, our task is to set the example of what we want others to do. We must rise above personal reactions, be exclusively attuned to the divine Will— we must be impersonal, without any personal reaction. We must 'be' in all sincerity. What the Divine wants—let it be. That's all. If we can be that, then we are as we ought to be, and that is what we must become. For the rest... for all the rest, we do the best we can.

I know it's not easy, but we are not here to do easy things; the whole world is there for those who like an easy life. I would like people to feel that coming to Auroville does not mean coming to an easy life—it means coming to a gigantic effort for progress. And those who don't want to keep up with it should leave. That's how things stand. I wish it were so strong—the need for progress, for the divinisation of the being, so intense—that those who are unable (unable or unwilling) to adjust to it would leave by themselves: 'Oh, this is not what I expected.' As it is now, all those who want an easy life and to do what they please as they please, say, 'Let's go to Auroville!' It should be just the opposite. People should know that coming to auroville means an almost superhuman effort for progress.

It is the sincerity of our attitude and effort which makes a difference. People should feel that insincerity and falsehood have no place here—they just don't work, you can't fool people who have devoted their entire life to go beyond humanity.

There is only one way to be convincing—it is to be that.

Then we'll stand strong, we'll have all the divine force on our side.

We are here to prepare a superhumanity, not to fall back into desires and easy life—no.

People must feel it; it should be so strong that the sheer force

Page 155

of our sincerity would drive them out—that's what they have to feel. At that point, we will be what we should be. The power of the realisation—of the sincerity of the realisation—is such that it's unbearable to those who are insincere.

(silence)

"That's all."

Roger. Yes, Mother.

(silence)

Mother: If in all sincerity we are on the side of the Divine, we are all we should be.

That's what Sri Aurobindo always said. If men only knew this: if in all sincerity—in all sincerity—they give themselves to the Divine and side with the divine, they become all they should be.

It may take time, there may be turmoil and difficulty—you must be... inflexible: T am for the Divine and the divine manifestation, in spite of everything and anything.' Voila. Then it is omnipotence—even over death.

I am not saying tomorrow, I am not saying immediately,

but... it's a certainty.

*

* *

5.4.72

Informed Mother about two operations to take place in the JIPMER Hospital this morning. She thought of giving blessings packets but remarked, "Now it will not reach them in time."

She gave blessings packet for Rakhal Pascal after inquiring about him.

Her reply for Robert and Anata, "If they go together to France, they need not come back. She may go and not return."

*

* *

Mother's reply to a letter in French about the psychic,

"To find the psychic one must conquer the desires of the vital and silence the mind and then sincerely surrender to the Divine of whom the psychic is the instrument in man.

The inner meeting with the psychic is a concrete and undeniable fact which is impressed on all sincere consciousness."

Page 156

Informed Mother of the proposed arrival of Diane Hassinger and Lunaura.

*

* *

6.4.72

In response to Michel Klostermnn's letter about his inner experience Mother gave her photo.

She did not give appointment to see Malik and Auroarindam.

She gave a blessings packet for the journey of R. S. Gupta to Bombay for the Handmade Paper Factory's work.

Gujadhar's proposal for horse-breeding in Auroville on profit sharing basis was not approved.

Sadhana was accepted on trial.

*

* *

A complaint against me was being read. Mother stopped me in the middle and asked me about the point. She refused to intervene. One of her remarks was, "It is far from our ideals."

She does not like to be bothered with such things.

*

* *

7.4.72

Two stones said to have been charged with power received from a medium were shown to Mother. After holding the same with concentration, she said, "Honestly, I feel nothing in it."

*

* *

Ronald's proposal to take the translation of Ruud's book to

U.S.A. to find a publisher was approved.

*

* *

Mother replied to a letter,

"Have faith in the Divine and go deep inside. I am with you."

Page 157

Mother's reply to Kamoo,

"The difficulty is you yourself brought this person and are now quarrelling!..."

*

* *

If Auroville accepts a particular car, we have to pay Rs 60000 as duty. Mother remarked,

"We are too poor for it."

*

* *

8.4.72

Huta's letter was read.

Mother said, "For me it is alright. It should be shown to Prithwisingh."

*

* *

Anjani is willing to take up the development and organisation of industries in Auroville.

Mother said, "Yes, it is good, but if she stays here."

I also mentioned to Mother that we will tap new sources for finance for industries. Nava is bringing money for the general Fund.

*

* *

Raghuvir Singh is not to come back to Auroville; so also Marianne.

People sent away from Auroville keep on asking Mother for coming back. It need not be referred to Mother again and again.

*

* *

Mother gave blessings packet for 18 month old Aurokarl, born in Auroville, who is not keeping well.

*

* *

Gordon has a girl friend in Cuddalore. She comes to Aspiration on holidays and stays with him. She wants Mother's permission.

Page 158

Mother remarked, "And then they will have a child!". As for her request, Mother said, "I have no objection."

*

* *

9.4.72

Informed Mother that Prithwi Singh has agreed to return the books to Huta.

*

* *

Requests of three persons to join Auroville were approved.

*

* *

Thomas has difficulty in his mind with sadhana. He is reading Letters on Yoga. He used a pen-knife to open the book for a reply. It struck the following sentence of Sri Aurobindo,

"You must go inside yourself and enter into a complete dedication to the spiritual life."

Mother said, "This is the exact reply."

The second part of his letter said, "Divine Mother, one thing more. Would you change my name, as in the Christian culture Thomas, I believe, is 'the doubter' and truly I have had enough of him."

Mother had a laugh. She said Yes, gave the name Shraddhalu and made a name card.

*

* *

In reply to a request for blessings "for the delight of an integral union with you and for faith to take possession of me", Mother gave her photo.

*

* *

Dawn wishes to live in Aspiration. If she has to go there it can be arranged.

Mother replied that she should stay in Pondicherry.

*

* *

Kamoo does not want Ananta to be with her in the clinic.

Mother said that as Kamoo does not want her there, she must not be there. She asked me what I could do.

Page 159

"She can come to Pondicherry and work in the accounts section."

"Yes, it is alright... Is Kamoo getting impossible?"

"Yes, Mother."

Mother had a laugh.

*

* *

10.4.72

In the Planning Group meeting, upon being asked, I have given an interpretation of Mother's reply to Prof. Newcombe regarding his suggestion for a different design than that of the four zones being acted upon. Mother had said, "We are open, but it needs study. I have explained that the four zonal idea came as a vision of the Mother and it has been serving as a base for the work that started in 1968. If on proper scientific or technical study some fundamental difficulty can be pointed out, it will certainly be appreciated.

A question was then raised whether the four zones idea was practical. (Mother remarked, "It is practical.") I went on to state my reply that a thing seen by Mother in her vision implies its practicability.

In the next meeting the question might be asked again, so I want to know from Mother about what I had said.

Mother said, "It is correct."

*

* *

For Chaudhary Ranbir Singh, leader of the Indian delegation on Agriculture, Mother said, "You can bring him tomorrow with you."

*

* *

11.4.72

In reply to the letter of Vijay and Kiran about the exhibition in the embassies on the occasion of Sri Aurobindo's Centenary, Mother said that there should be photos and products, and for each country a person from that country should choose : Nata for Italy, Andre for France, like this. They should make a list.

Mother wrote the message in French,

Page 160

Un nouveau monde veut naitre, base sur la Verite,

et refusant le vieil asservissement du mensonge.

Dans tous les pays il y a des personnes qui le savent ou

tout au moins le sentent.

C'est a ces personnes que nous faisons appel:

"Voulez-vous collaborer?"

La Mere,

Sri Aurobindo Ashram, Pondicherry

*

* *

Mother signed the Auroville Study Circle monthly programme and her photo.

*

* *

Mother approved of the coming of a young American woman for three months to work in Auroville.

*

* *

For X who wished to rise in politics or to join the Ashram, Mother said,

"He should be in politics. My inner help is with him. The more he sticks to truth, the more will be the help."

She remarked that this person was a man of action.

About the country, poverty, taxes, etc, Mother said that she had many things to say, but the time has not come.

*

* *

12.4.72

After giving me the flowers, Mother started the talk,

"Do you wish to please me?"

I kept silent. She repeated,

"Do you wish to please me?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Today at 4.30 there is a meeting in Pradyot's house. I want you to be there. You will go?"

"Yes, Mother."

"It will please me. I want you to be there."

"Yes, Mother, I will go, but..."

Page 161

"Tell me frankly."

"Mother, nothing happens in the meetings there."

"I know that nothing happens in meetings or committees. Nothing happens in your meetings too. But still I wish that you

She said further,

"Unity is above qualities and defects.

Unity is above human character.

Unity is above mind's practicality.

Unity comes before perfection.

Perfection comes in unity."

And she added,

"As for mind, it is dust for me."

"Yes, Mother."

*

* *

"Now, what you wanted to say?"

So I took up the regular items.

I read out the message given by Mother yesterday in French and its English translation:

A new world, based on Truth and refusing the old slavery to falsehood wants to take birth.

In all countries there are people who know it, at least feel it.

To them we call:

"Will you collaborate?"

The Mother

Sri Aurobindo Ashram

Pondicherry

She said, "It is alright."

*

* *

Informed Mother of the talk Ramanathan, Varadarajan, village representatives and local M.L. As had with the Chief Minister and some other Ministers of Tamil Nadu. For the first time a group of Tamil people have spoken for Auroville to the Government.

*

* *

Informed Mother of the decision of the man who had come

Page 162

yesterday with me to meditate daily at 6 a.m. and 6 p.m. and the disappearance of the pain in his body after seeing Mother.

*

* *

Informed Mother of Kishorilal's arrival tomorrow and Prabha's trip to Madras for the factory work.

*

* *

Regarding the proposed Fraternity Trust in Auroville, Mother wished that I should be there.

13.4.72

Rs 21000 have been brought by Nava. Half to go to the Bank, half for other dues.

Read out to Mother her yesterday's words on Unity. Approved for Auroville Gazette.

*

* *

A request for joining Auroville approved.

*

* *

Mother gave blessings for Mercier for recovery.

Another blessings packet for Shraddhalu. His poetry will go to Nolini.

*

* *

Read Alain's letter.

Hashi will not work at Matrimandir. She can work elsewhere.

*

* *

One pair wrote to Mother that their child was conceived not out of sexual desire but as a service to Auroville to give an Auroville child.

Mother said, "How people deceive themselves!"

Page 163

14.4.72

Mother did not see anyone this morning. 15.4.72

Informed Mother of 5 lakhs from the West Bengal Government for the West Bengal pavilion. We can use 1.20 at present. Balance in future for the pavilion.

*

* *

Blessings for Dick for sale work of books printed by Auropress.

*

* *

Tomorrow Mother will not see Francis and one other.

*

* *

16.4.72

The letter dated 12.4.72 signed by Navoditte for people in Aspiration was read:

"About Mahalakshmi, Sri Aurobindo has said:

"If she finds in man's hearts surrounded with selfishness and hatred and jealousy and malignance and envy and strife, if treachery and greed and ingratitude are mixed in the sacred chalice, if grossness of passion and unrefined desire degrade devotion, in such hearts the gracious and beautiful Goddess will not linger. A divine disgust seizes upon her and she withdraws, for she is not one who insists or strives..."

In fear that you may do this, and with sorrow that we have caused you pain we, at Aspiration, ask your forgiveness. Many of us, many times, have promised to change; many of us, again, do so promise now. We pray for the grace.

Mother wrote the reply:

"My love and blessings are always with you for progress and transformation."

and said that it should be framed and kept in the meditation room.

Page 164

17.4.72

Letters of Michel Klostermann, Varadarajan and Shyamala were read. Mother gave blessings packets for the first two and her photo for the third one.

*

* *

Requests of two persons to join Auroville were accepted.

*

* *

In the industrial sector of Auroville we have got sufficient lands for four five industries. We wish to start Workshop, Soap, etc.

Mother liked the idea of starting.

Regarding the optical lens industry in particular and industries in general there, Mother answered that we could have local paid labour, but as for technicians from other places, they should be those who have understood and liked and accepted Auroville and its life. "Otherwise," she said, "you will not come out of the old thing."

*

* *

Dawn's letter. She prefers Sister Peter to Dr. Kamoo for the delivery of her baby.

Mother said that she could do as she liked.

As for the question of her stay in Pondicherry after the birth of the baby, Mother said that she is not in the Ashram and one can not prevent her from staying in Pondicherry.

*

* *

18.4.72

Placed before Mother the position of Bharat Niwas : financial shortage; cutting of airconditioning, acoustics and restaurant equipment; difficulty of maintenance when ready; attitude of Aurovilians who think these things to be against Auroville spirit, not caring for beautiful things; question of user.

(Mother concentrated.. .silence)

"What do you want from me?"

"Mother, I think that in the basement of the auditorium the

Page 165

offices of Auroville at present at Pondicherry can be located. In the Restaurant a simple Indian style food service can be started for the office and residents there. On the walls there can be murals of the paintings, architecture and sculpture referred to by Sri Aurobindo in The Foundations of Indian Culture. When the whole Bharat Niwas is completed and the place is needed by it, we can shift.

Mother liked the idea and said, "Yes, it is good. It is alright."

I mentioned Roger's wish to have the offices in Auromodel, but the difficulties of finance, drawings and time-lag are there.

Even if we have to go to Auromodel, it can be done later.

Mother said, "Yes, we can shift later."

*

* *

Katak's proposal for a Tibetan guest house and restaurant with Tibetan and Chinese food at Pondicherry was approved.

I asked Mother, "Are the Tibetan and Chinese food good together?"

Mother had a laugh.

*

* *

A young man in U.K. wants to come to Auroville. Request approved.

*

* *

19.4.72

Huta's letter informing Mother about the Savitri slide show tonight at 8.30 was read.

*

* *

Nava's message was conveyed regarding the meeting of the Centenary Committee at 12 today, praying for the retention of the 10 lakh grant for the Bharat Niwas.

*

* *

Frederick's son Hero can shift to the Aspiration Boarding.

*

* *

Robert and Anata are going in the first week of next month. Robert's wife and children are here.

Page 166

Mother said, "There is a mess."

(silence)

*

* *

"Mother, the situation is quite grave. We haven't money, we haven't the right people. Often there is no joy in the work."

(Silence. Long silence.)

Mother said, "II faut avoir la foi. (One must have faith)."

20.4.72

Mother showed me Nava's book on Sri Aurobindo and asked me, "Have you seen it?"

"No, Mother."

She was very displeased with the cover.

*

* *

Informed Mother of the monies received and their disbursement.

*

* *

The Films Division of the Government of India wanted to come to make a film on the Ashram and Auroville. In the morning a telegram was sent asking them not to come. Pranab does not want them to come for the Ashram, but for Auroville it is alright, so another telegram is to go.

Mother did not like the matter having gone to her in two parts.

*

* *

Anjani slipped last night in the bath room and has a slight fracture in the left leg at the same spot where it happened four years ago.

*

* *

When I was about to place the next matter, Mother said, "Go quick", and I left to send the telegram for the Films Division.

Page 167

21.4.72

Mother blessed sweets and a ring brought for her touch.

*

* *

Gum bottles made by Murty's son were offered. Mother asked, "Have you use for them?"

"Yes, Mother. Some I will give to the Ashram office and some

I will take."

*

* *

Requests of two candidates for Auroville were approved.

*

* *

Mercier has asked for Mother's advice on nature cure and homeopathic treatment for his urinary trouble.

Mother said, "It is alright", and gave a blessings packet.

*

* *

Rs 1300 were stolen from the Matrimandir Camp. The person concerned admits his negligence and promises to be careful. There have been other thefts also. For the first time, six persons have agreed to keep night-watch, turn by turn, in stead of a paid watchman.

Mother gave blessings packets for each.

*

* *

Eduard's letter was read. He is not sure aboqt his stay here. Mother said, "He can go."

*

* *

In response to Aneeta's letter to Mother asking her to decide her place, Mother said, "She has to decide for herself."

*

* *

Mother agreed to see eight village girls with Pippi as a group.

*

* *

22.4.72

Mary Helen wanted Mother to say about her stay in the Ashram or Auroville.

Page 168

Mother said, "She can go to Auroville."

*

* *

Requests for Pranam were disposed of.

Mother said that she wants to see persons who come to her not as an object of curiosity but for Yoga and with sincerity. She has to have time for work. To those who are not sincerely for Yoga I can say, "Mother is busy".

*

* *

23.4.72

Mother wrote to Hashi that she can work in Auroville except Matrimandir.

For Dikshit's financial guarantee Mother said, "Not possible".

In reply to Huta's prayer Mother gave flowers.

One person's request for joining Auroville was approved 'on trial'; another from Canada was asked to wait.

Two requests for Prosperity were approved. The third one to wait.

*

* *

24.4.72

Darshan day. Offerings presented.

*

* *

25.4.72

Offerings of Seyril, Jacqueline and Yen presented.

For Seyril's going to Israel, Mother said, "It is alright".

*

* *

Shanta of France wishes to come to Auroville. Approved.

*

* *

Pierre can go to the hills for health if he thinks that it will do

Page 169

him good. Mother's permission is there, but Auroville is not rich, we can not pay the expenses for it.

*

* *

26.4.72

I was told that on Wednesdays and Saturdays Mother has other works and I should not talk business these days. So I went without any papers. Mother asked, "Nothing?"

*

* *

27.4.72

Letter of Ved Prakash. Auroconstruction is to be organised by me. Ved Prakash has to make a success of the Workshop at Auroville.

Letter of Ramakant Patnaik. Mother signed on his photo.

Two candidates for Auroville were approved. Requests for birthdays approved.

Two Aurovilians wished to go to France to bring money and equipments for Auroville.

Mother remarked, "They go but do not bring anything. They go because of the pull of the old life. But in such cases I say one can go."

Michel Klostermann informs Mother about the completion of the shooting of the Swiss TV film on Auroville. He wants a name for the film and the TV production centre in Auroville.

Mother gave the name Filmaur.

Shanti's letter regarding her sadhana.

Mother gave a blessings packet and said that she could come on 8th May.

In response to Sadhana's letter on the difficulties in the kitchen work at Matrimandir asking for Mother's help, Mother gave a blessings packet.

A technician candidate for Auroville who wanted Auroville to bear his expenses from the beginning although he has money,

Page 170

was asked to wait until he understands and accepts Auroville's ideal and way of life.

*

* *

29.4.72

After pranam, articles sent by some persons were offered.

*

* *

30.4.72

From the flowers sent by a family one strung bunch was taken by Mother happily.

A letter relating a dream experience on the aspiration for Mother's victory was read.

Mother said 'Bon' and gave a blessings packet with her photo.

*

* *

Mother signed a note saying that Auroville Designs will transfer at least half of its income to the funds of Auroville.

A ring sent by a visitor for Mother's touch was blessed by her.

*

* *

2.5.72

Mother approved of a separate kitchen for two integrated families as an experiment.

The propsal of New Horizon Traders as a branch of New Horizons Trust for Auroville purchases was also approved.

*

* *

In reply to a letter, Mother said, "Tell him to be sincere."

*

* *

There was a letter from USA from a young girl of about 16 who wanted to come to Auroville for a while.

Mother asked, "Can she come without the consent of her parents? She is too young."

Page 171

"No, Mother."

A small piece of brooch sent by her was given to Mother. She touched it throughout with care and smilingly.

*

* *

A request from an American woman to come to Auroville was approved 'on trial'.

An old man from Bengal wants to come to Auroville to spend the last days of his life. Mother said, "Auroville is not for the last days of life".

*

* *

2.5.72

Piero has written to Mother requesting her for a message for tomorrow "so that all the work will be light and guided by You". Tomorrow at 4 p.m. the 20 hour concreting work at the Matrimandir at the central bottom is to start.

Mother wrote:

3.5.72

Let us all work with a growing sincerity for the manifestation of the Divine Truth.

With love and blessings.

—Mother

Mother signed formal resolutions.

Ann's request to work in the Tibetan restaurant and boutique was approved.

Auroville can contribute Rs 1000 to the Farmers' Conference in an Auroville village and arrange to take the Chief Minister of Tamil Nadu around. No party or function at Auroville.

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

In reply to a letter about the wish to depart from the world, Mother wrote,

"Your true self must remain and grow towards the light and Truth. Your ego has to go to the past."

Page 172

4.5.72

Pranam.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing urgent, Mother."

*

* *

3.5.72

Yesterday the 20 hour concreting work of the Matrimandir foundation basement has started. The biggest number of Aurovilians so far came to work. In the midnight the Ashram students also joined.

Mother did not sign the book 'Savitri' for Prof. Newcombe. He does not understand the truth.

In reply to Shanti's letter, Mother gave a blessings packet with Sri Aurobindo's photo.

Ranganathan gets shivering at the time of concentration. Then he weeps also. Wants to know the reason. Mother said, "It will go".

He wishes to see Mother. He had come a month and a half ago. Mother said, "Bring him tomorrow with you."

Requests of candidates for Auroville were disposed of.

Yesterday there was a serious car accident in Madras. The details were reported. Also the working of Auroville Transport was reported.

Mother wrote to Stephan,

"I have just learnt about the Madras accident.

I see that my protection is very effective for your body, but unfortunately not for the work. So I have to ask you not to occupy yourself any more with the transport at Auroville, because I do not wish a similar accident to happen another time.

Blessings."

I spoke to Mother about my disturbed feeling over the incident. She calmed me. I wanted to know why such things happen.

Mother said,

"Because of the imperfection of each one...

Page 173

The only security is in faith and in reliance on the Divine...

If my protection were not there it would be a catastrophe. Because of the protection, only what is absolutely inevitable happens...be sure of that.

On other occasions when the Grace saves us, we are either unconscious or manage to forget it.

Or one gives some silly explanation for it.

*

* *

5.5.72

Birthday blessings.

Mother signed two resolutions for Bank accounts.

Letter of Vijay and Kiran regarding the exhibition in Indian Embassies for the Centenary was read. Mother said, "C'est bien."

In reply to the specific question about quotations from C. R. Reddy, Romain Rolland and Rabindranath Tagore, Mother remarked that it should be in such a way that they are not prominent.

*

* *

6.5.72

"Nothing?"

I nodded my head.

*

* *

7.5.72

Offering of Rs 10000 from Dr. Kamal to Mother.

Informed Mother that Claire is better after the accident, but the baby is lost. Stephan speaks of Mother's protection and Grace during the accident.

A candidate's request for Auroville was considered.

Mother remarked, "He is passive. Better, he stays where he is."

*

* *

Page 174

8.5.72

Regarding the UNESCO Conference on Environment at Stockholm, Mother does not approve of Roger going there.

An American teacher at Aspiration has written to Mother about the difficult children, especially from the village.

Mother remarked that these people do not understand the children here. They can teach language, but even the American English is not good, not liked by Englishmen. Aren't there

Indian teachers?"

"There are some. Mother."

*

* *

Mother wrote a reply to the question raised about the conquest of ego:

The best way to get rid of the rule of the ego is to find the

psychic being, instrument of the Divine in human beings.

Go deep in yourself (in the heart region) and aspire steadily.

The true meeting of the psychic is unmistakable.

Blessings."

*

* *

For the bi-lingual periodical "The Aurovilian" being brought out by Amar Singh from Orissa in English and Oriya, there was the request for Mother to write "The Aurovilian' for making a block for the cover.

Mother wrote,

'The Oriya—Aurovilian'

In reply to my query she said that the matter should be different from the Gazette Aurovilienne.

Mother gave a blessings packet for a sick person and told me the occult reason for the sickness.

In a letter quoting "Effort was the helper, effort is the bar", the writer wished to give up effort.

Mother said,

"She can try. My experience of 94 years is that effort should not cease. If the effort ceases, the whole thing falls—b u r r r— What can I say? This is my experience."

*

* *

Page 175

The second point was that she wanted to journey with Mother if she thought her to be deserving. Mother said with a smile,

"Yes, it is always there, the help is always there; there is no question of deserving...What is needed is receptivity and sincerity. The help is not less or more, it is always there; what one receives depends on one's receptivity. The Divine's joy is also not more or less. It is immutable."

*

* *

9.5.72

The cash and goods totalling Rs 1300 stolen from the Matrimandir Camp a fortnight ago have been recovered. A Tamil boy confessed it.

Mother laughed and remarked, "He was candid!", and then asked, "I hope no violence was used?"

"No, Mother. We have now dismissed him."

"What can we do?"

Abhay Singh (Sri Aurobindo Ashram Atelier) can train Patnaik for Auroville Vehicles Maintenance and advise me about it.

Mother signed a note to this effect and wrote 'blessings'.

Requests of candidates for Auroville were disposed of.

Also requests for birthday pranams.

Ruud came to offer his book on Auroville in Dutch. The title is

"All Things New: The City where all is Different".

*

* *

10.5.72

Mother, holding a prayer flower, asked me, "You want prayer?" "Oui, Mere."

Offered handkerchiefs and flower decoration from Meenakshi.

Page 176

11.5.72

Jean Pierre, Louis and Jacques have returned after a month from Bombay where they had gone to bring money for the Polyester unit. They haven't brought any money. (Mother had a laugh). They have procured some orders for decorative things in polyester. (Samples were shown to Mother). They want to make it self-supporting by external orders and wish to know if it is in accordance with Mother's will.

Mother asked, "Where will it be produced?"

"At Aspiration."

"That is a place for experiences. It can be there."

She wanted to know more about polyester.

In the end she said that it will be good if it were done well.

She also added that Auroville is for new things.

*

* *

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

Requests for birthday pranams were disposed of. Mother does not find time to see students of Auroville.

*

* *

12.5.72

Mother endorsed a cheque and signed a note on Auroville Transport work with blessings.

In reply to two letters regarding inner problems, Mother gave blessings packets with Sri Aurobindo's photo.

Requests for birthday pranams were disposed of. One person got the reply that Mother will see him after he has

worked one year.

*

* *

13.5.72

Pranam and silence.

Page 177

14.5.72

Flowers and articles sent by different persons were offered to

Mother.

Mother signed papers and gave replies to letters.

*

* *

15.5.72

Mother did not see us today.

*

* *

16.5.72

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

*

* *

17.5.72

"II n'y a rien?"

I nodded.

*

* *

18.5.72

Letters were answered.

Vincenzo wants to come for his birthday. Mother permitted and told me to ask him whether he has understood the lesson.

Mother gave a mantra for a seeker who asked for it.

*

* *

19.5.72

Informed Mother of the receipt of Rs 50000 for Auroville and its allocation.

Something is received after a lull of six weeks.

*

* *

Page 178

Dawn wants to know where she should arrange the delivery of her baby—at Pondicherry or Promesse? If at Pondicherry, will the child be an Aurovilian?

Mother said that the future will show whether the child is an Aurovilian or not. Dawn can decide as she likes.

*

* *

For the proposed Centenary Exhibition, Sri Aurobindo's photos, captions and citations were shown to Mother. She made some changes.

For her own photo she said, "It is not necessary". When insisted upon, she chose one. It was suggested that we say that Mother carries on the work. She said,

"No, it is Sri Aurobindo's work. He has told me to do it. I do not remember the exact words. Nirod knows it."

The first exhibit will be an announcement:

BIRTH CENTENARY

OF

Sri Aurobindo

Below the name Sri Aurobindo, should there be Seer, Yogi, etc?

Mother said, "No, no, no. No titles."

*

* *

20.5.72

I got from Nirod the copy of what Sri Aurobindo had said to Mother and she had told Dr. Sanyal. Nirod had asked her about it and she had said that it was correct. It has appeared in Dr. Sanyal's 'Call from Pondicherry'. I read out the last portion and asked Mother whether the following words can be given under her photo:

"... You will have to fulfil our Yoga of supramental descent and transformation." Mother said Yes.

*

* *

21.5.72

There is a thousand year old temple in the village Irumbai, a

Page 179

little away from the borders of Auroville. It is a Shiva temple; the Ganesh idol is about five feet. Several hundred years ago one saint Sambandar had come there and made a couplet saying that a township would come nearby. There is a good area of land attached to the temple, but the management is dishonest and the temple is neglected. Some villagers wish to ask the Government to give the management to Auroville.

Mother said, ''it is alright''

*

* *

Requests for seeing Mother, Prosperity and visit to Madras were disposed of.

About a young woman who wanted to go to see Matrimandir, not for her male friend but for Matrimandir, Mother remarked,

"She is not sincere", and did not permit.

I spoke to Vincenzo that Mother asks if he has understood the lesson. He was surprised; then he said, "I have done much thinking after the accident". A little later, he asked, "What about Claire? Is Mother working on me through Claire?"

Mother said, "He does not understand. Much worse would have happened."

Requests for seeing Mother and Prosperity were disposed of.

*

* *

23.5.72

Blessings plackets were given by Mother.

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

Two persons in Auroville, on trial, are to leave.

*

* *

(A note put up before Mother on 23.5.1972 and signed by her)

Some guidelines for setting up industries at Auroville

One of the objectives of Auroville is that economic activities of all kinds, industrial, handicrafts, agricultural etc, should be completely taken up by Aurovilians. Since the requirements of Aurovilians are completely looked after by Auroville, the question of salary does not arise.

*

* *

Page 180

This objective which should not in any case be forgotten or delayed in its application is the ideal to be attained.

An intermediary stage for practical reasons seems necessary before attaining this.

During this period the industries which would come up in Auroville, can engage for a certain period, according to their needs some salaried specialists or technicians.

However, engagement of this paid personnel would be only for a limited period under a form of contract, to be renewed annually. Their role will be to help start of industries and then help form a team of Aurovilians, as soon as possible, who would replace them.

Moreover, any enterprise or project undertaken at Auroville should be in consonance with Auroville's ideals.

*

* *

24.5.72

Silence.

*

* *

25.5.72

A lady here heard a voice two days ago and this morning that her grandson in Canada is dead.

Mother gave a blessings packet to be sent there.

Mother gave a blessings packet for the steel safe for Auroville cash purchased recently.

In reply to a letter asking for guidance, Mother gave a blessings packet.

A family in Auroville wants pocket money. Mother said, "No, no. They can make arrangement for pocket expenses as they have done for other family obligations."

*

* *

26.5.72

Requests for joining Auroville, blessings and seeing Mother were disposed of.

Page 181

Informed Mother of complaints of several persons against one person at Auroville in working.

She asked me to wait a few days. Those who have complained need not listen to him.

Ved Prakash's letter.

Mother said that it is a good chance for him to work in Auroville. His should be the first industry there. The Aspiration people are to be told not to meddle in his work; they have nothing to do with it. Aspiration is not Auroville; real Auroville has not started.

Mother does not agree to see him every week for the work.

*

* *

27.5.72

The second issue of the Action journal in Tamil was offered to Mother.

28.5.72

For the Centenary Exhibition in the embassies, Mother prefers a photo of Sri Aurobindo of the samadhi day, and not of the samadhi.

She does not want the photo in the lying posture.

I am to show the photo tomorrow.

*

* *

M's letter was placed. The facts stated there are not correct. Mother said, "I felt something like it when the letter came, so I sent it to you. Don't hear him."

The rinderpest at Aurodairy was reported to Mother. She put questions for more information. Five cows have already died. Eight more are infected.

The soap unit is to be set up at Aurogarage.

Page 182

29.5.72

Mother selected Sri Aurobindo's photo for the Centenary Exhibition. First she asked Champaklal, "Which do you prefer?" He replied, "Both are nice, Mother".

The caption and citation were also approved.

A quotation from Sri Aurobindo's talk which appeared in 'Mother India', May 72, was approved for the Sri Aurobindo's Action journal:

"Patriotism satisfies the vital needs of the being. Patriotism is true when it takes count of the spiritual possibilities of the country and develops them."

Letters and requests for birthday pranam were disposed of.

I wanted to know what reply is to be given to those who wish to come to Auroville after 7 to 10 years.

Mother said, "We will see at that time."

"Yes, Mother, but some of them wish to know now, so that they can start saving money for the purpose and depositing it here."

"It depends on who they are." "So, they will have to be examined individually." "You send them the conditions of Auroville and ask for their acceptance."

"But if they reply now, it may not be true after ten years for themselves or their children."

"Yes," Mother said with a smile," and they may feel what they are saying is not true."

30.5.72

Sri Aurobindo's Action accounts for 1971 are completed and audited. Out of the receipt of one lakh rupees during the year, forty-five thousand came from the Government.

Informed Mother.

Mother signed a paper for a vehicle guarantee.

A request for joining Auroville was disposed of.

Page 183

Varadharajan wishes to have a designation.

Mother wanted my suggestion. "Assistant to the Secretary" was approved.

*

* *

31.5.72

"Nothing?"

I nodded my head.

*

* *

1.6.72

Offering from Seyril handed over to Mother.

Mother gave blessings packet for the commencement of the concreting of the remaining two pillars basement work at the Matrimandir.

At Aurodairy one cow and one calf died yesterday. Total number of deaths is ten cows and ten calves.

Mother asked about the disinfection of the place. I replied that disinfection, vaccination and segregation have been done.

*

* *

I spoke to Mother about Roger's letter to me and Mother's approval for the soap industry in the industrial zone of Auroville.

Mother confirmed it, also the fact that Roger is in charge of the architecture in Auroville. She laid stress on harmony.

"When I am not here, what will you do?" she asked.

"Mother, kindly don't say this."

"I don't like quarrels. Whether I should be here or not is in balance. Such things put a pressure on me to depart... I am not here for these things. I am busy with transformation...You have to find a solution among yourselves."

In the evening I informed Mother that I have asked the soap industry man not to construct at Aurogarage and that when Roger comes she can reassure him that he is the only person responsible for the Auroville architecture and its execution.

*

* *

Page 184

2.6.72

The question was raised regarding Aurofood being shown as a part of Auroville when it is neither on the Auroville land nor run according to the Auroville way nor does any part of its income come to Auroville.

Mother said that the Aurofood man should be asked whether it is part of Auroville.

*

* *

Requests for seeing Mother were disposed of One German wrote, "Good morning Mother see you."

Mother laughed and said, "He can wait."

*

* *

3.6.72

A portrait of Mother made by a young architect was offered.

Mother asked, "What does Champaklal say about it? He is severe."

Champaklal said, "It is very difficult to make a portrait of Mother."

"What do you think of it?" Mother asked again.

"Not good", said Champaklal.

Then Mother asked me, "What do you say?"

"Not first class," I replied.

Then Champaklal asked Dr. Sanyal. He said, "Second class."

Mother was smiling.

*

* *

4.6.72

Someone suffering from constipation has asked which part of the being is to be transformed.

Mother replied, "It is the egoism of the body, of the cells."

Diane wishes to have her baby delivered at Auroson's home. Frederick's wife Shyama has no objection.

Mother told me to ask Frederick.

Page 185

Requests for birthday pranam were disposed of.

Also a request for a mantra.

*

* *

5.6.72

Placed before Mother the 1971 accounts of Auroville in the form of a summarized statement of income and expenditure.

Mother asked for a clarification. It was given.

The Land Ceiling issue came up. Counouma and I will go to

Cuddalore on 7th to appear before the Select Committee.

*

* *

Request for birthday pranam disposed of.

*

* *

6.6.72

The Madras engineers came yesterday. They say that the quality of the Matrimandir construction work done so far is satisfactory.

Regarding people living in the Matrimandir Workers Camp I read out a note to Mother. Most of the people there agree, but some say that Mother should be asked what she says about it.

Mother said, "I can sign it." As it was a rough written note, I said I would bring it next morning.

*

* *

Requests for birthday pranam were disposed of. Also a request for Prosperity.

Frederick says that the Auroville children should be taken care of. So although Auroson's home is crowded, if Mother wishes, Diane's child can be born there.

Mother approves.

A girl wanted a new name.

She is to continue her old name 'for the moment'.

Page 186

7.6.72

Pranam and silence.

*

* *

8.6.72

Mother signed the Matrimandir Workers Camp note 'with blessings'.

The note reads:

"Matrimandir Workers Camp is meant for those who

i)work whole time at the Matrimandir or in the Matrimandir Garden Nursery,

ii)do not take alcohol or drugs,

iii) live cleanly.

There should be no smoking or sex-indulgence in the Matrimandir area."

*

* *

There are complaints from a person residing at the Ashram to the Lt. Governor of Pondicherry against the Auroville management of finance. Madhav has told him that everything is in order and open to inspection. There is a demand for Governmental inquiry. Jatti, the Lt. Governor, says that if someone explains the position to him, he will try to finish it at this stage.

Mother asked, "Can you go and explain?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Better two go."

"Madhav is willing to go with me."

"Yes."

*

* *

Requests for birthday pranam and going out were disposed of.

*

* *

9.6.72

Prabhat and Ramnathan are going tomorrow to Salem for the Town Planning Seminar.

Page 187

Mother gave blessings packets for them.

*

* *

10.6.72

A birthday pranam request was approved.

*

* *

11.6.72

The basement of the Matrimandir pillars is finished. The construction of the actual pillars is to start. The work will be slow now due to lack of resources.

Mother apparently did not like the slowing down.

*

* *

A resolution for Bank matters was signed.

*

* *

Regarding trees plantation in Auroville, Prabhat has written asking Mother whether she suggests some specific trees. The names of trees were read to her.

She advised that the trees should be selected according to the soil and climate, and asked, "How many trees you wish to plant?"

"A thousand this year," I said.

*

* *

Verne wishes to go to U S A to settle some personal affairs with her mother and prays for help and blessings. Mother gave a blessings packet with her photo.

*

* *

Requests for pranam and birthday pranam disposed of.

Mother will see a one year old Auroville Tamil child with his parents.

*

* *

12.6.72

There was a letter about experiences with closed eyes.

Page 188

Mother replied, "Continue".

A letter was not answered because of vagueness.

About a request for the reading of Savitri by an American at a meeting, Mother wanted to know about the correctness of the man's English, whether it was American English.

Requests for birthday pranam were granted.

*

* *

13.6.72

Letters were disposed of.

One person coming from France to live in Auroville wanted to know from Mother about the desirability of his taking a second degree in air-piloting as it may be useful for Auroville.

Mother approved.

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of. Most of them were not approved.

*

* *

14.6.72

Silence.

*

* *

15.6.72

Letters were disposed of. Also, requests for pranam. In reply to R's letter, Mother said,

"The experience is true, but the transcription is not exact."

I said, "Mother, after having the experience, when one thinks whether it is true or not..."

Mother completed it by saying, "it is the mind that comes and spoils. One should be silent."

(Reply dictated by Mother for a man who wanted Mother's advice about his relationship with a woman vis-a-vis their wish to do sadhana)

Page 189

Take care that the woman does not bring desire into your atmosphere. Such friendship can be useful only if the feminine element has high spiritual aspiration in her, otherwise it is a cumbersome hindrance.

*

* *

16.6.72

Two letters were disposed of.

In response to Margaret Stuttle's request for a new name,

Mother gave the name 'Shraddhavan' (Faithful).

She had offered her ten year old ring. Mother sent it back with her words in writing "to wear it as coming from me".

*

* *

17.6.72

The issue of the strike at the All India Press was placed. I expressed my feeling that we should remain firm on our just point and arrive at a settlement as soon as there is an opportunity by conceding their reasonable demands.

*

* *

18.6.72

Pierre wished Mother to touch a card of extracts from Sri Aurobindo's Hymn to Durga by way of blessings.

Mother blessed it.

Ruudi, a Dutchman, wanted to know if he should be here or go-

Mother said, "It is for oneself to choose, how can I choose? One has to choose between the two lives. Both are equal possibilities. For the life here one has to choose to face the difficulties—and then come joy and harmony."

He can remain here as a visitor and try to get over his attachment to the girl friend in Auroville.

*

* *

19.6.72

Someone wanted a different accommodation on certain

*

* *

Page 190

grounds and had asked Mother about it the previous day. She had put it off to ask me. I explained that the reasons given were not correct.

Mother said, "When I was told, I felt these are not true."

*

* *

There was a letter complaining against the attitude of one Jagdish in Germany regarding Mother and Auroville. This man says that it is Mother who can save Auroville, but she is not saving it; so he will have to do it.

Mother had a laugh.

*

* *

20.6.72

A woman wanted to change over to allopathic treatment from homeopathic for quick relief.

Mother said, "For quick relief she can have allopathy."

*

* *

21.6.72

Silence.

*

* *

22.6.72

Silence. (Mother was reported to be unwell)

*

* *

23.6.72

Informed Mother of

(a)purchase of 50 cents land for the Matrimandir,

(b)proposed opening of a milk centre in Kottakarai shortly,

(c)end of the Auroconstruction workers strike after we remained quiet.

*

* *

Page 191

24.6.72

In All India Press the strike is not ending. The workers are now trying to incite the Ashram Departments' workers. A procession will be taken out today. They are also likely to involve the town students. The question arose of firmness on our part on the point of retrenchment where we are right.

Mother said, "If you are absolutely right, you can be firm, whatever be the consequences."

I told Mother that the Government Labour Officer also says that our point is right.

Mother repeated her words.

*

* *

25.6.72

Letters, requests for blessings, birthday pranam, and admission to Auroville were disposed of.

Piero, the architect looking after the Matrimandir work, is going to hospital for ten days.

Mother asked about the continuation of the work. We have made alternative arrangements for it.

The woman concerned in Mother's reply of 15.6.72 has written about her relationship.

Mother said, "Better break the relationship."

*

* *

26.6.72

Mother approved of the proposal of taking loan from the State Bank of India for the Annapurna Farm and signed the Society's resolution for it.

Letters were read.

A mantra was given to one who had asked for it.

Requests for pranam and Prosperity were disposed of.

About a couple who say that they are simply friends to X who plays a guru, Mother said something like, "Not a very pleasing friendship!".

Page 192

27.6.72

Informed Mother of the receipt of Rs 25000 for Auroville, after a long interval.

I said, "Mother, I am getting worried, anxious about it, but hope to learn to get over it."

Offering sent by Varadhrajan and Shyamala handed over.

Michael's letter about an accident at Aurogarage was read. It was a miraculous escape for all.

Udar's proposal to counteract the strike at All India Press by running it with the Ashram residents was approved by Mother.

*

* *

28.6.72

Pranam.

29.6.72

Mother endorsed a ten dollar cheque.

Letters were read and disposed of.

Also a request for joining Auroville.

Marjorie has become pregnant by a man who was refused permission to be in Auroville. The man was driving a van near Hyderabad a few days ago when it collided with a truck and the man died, also the truck driver. She prays for the soul of the man, and about herself she is not sure if she should go back to America.

Mother said, "Let her go to America," and added, "It is disgusting. They are living like animals."

"Mother, there is an open feeling among the people there that they are doing service to Auroville by producing children, and they are proud of it."

"No, it is not a service. Such children are ill- conceived, ill-formed, under-developed. They are a burden on Auroville."

"Mother, the position of sex-indulgence in Auroville is serious."

Page 193

"It is so disgusting. Something has to be done about it. They are living like rabbits and animals. Haven't I written?"

"There was a conversation with Mother. It has come out in the Gazette."

"Put it in big letters in your office."

*

* *

30.6.72

Offerings of money and flowers were handed over to Mother.

Sandy has written a nice story for children. She wishes to write more if Mother approves.

Mother said Yes happily and gave a blessings packet.

Madanlal's letter about the strike at All India Press was read. He says that due to the strike the work of the Centenary volumes is suffering and if Sri Aurobindo and the Mother want the work to be done, they themselves will find a solution.

Giving a blessings packet, Mother said, "Pray to Sri Aurobindo that he reigns. He is present, conscious."

*

* *

1.7.72

Offerings were handed over. A cheque was signed by Mother.

*

* *

2.7.72

An image of Krishna was offered.

Mother asked 'Ivory?'

'Yes, Mother.'

Mother told Champaklal where to keep it.

Letters were disposed of.

In response to requests for help Mother gave blessing packets.

Dennis wanted to know from Mother whether he could build his hut near a grove of banyan trees with which he wished to be

Page 194

in harmony. He feels a silence when he goes to the grove.

Mother said, "It shouldn't be very near, otherwise it will disturb the trees."

A person who is confused on some points—he came here thinking of some difference from Vivekananda's institutions, but finds here new things—wanted to see Mother.

Mother said, "He should read Sri Aurobindo; I will see him after that."

*

* *

3.7.72

Informed Mother of the solution of a technical problem in the construction of Matrimandir.

Regarding the financial difficulty she remarked, 'C'est degoutant'. (It is disgusting)

*

* *

Many in Auroville say that an organised working is not desirable in Auroville; they are for spontaneous working. Mother's reply :

Spontaneous work can be done only by a man of genius. Is there anyone claiming to be a genius?...

Blessings.

*

* *

4.7.72

Letters were disposed of.

Ruud finds that now-a-days his mind is in such a state that he is not getting ideas for writing articles. Should he still try to write with a view to spread the divine message of Auroville in Holland?

Mother said, "It depends on him, absolutely on him. If good writing does not come, he need not."

*

* *

Informed Mother of the All India Press strike situation.

Page 195

An integrated family came with their one year old child for the child's birthday.

Mother was touching the child and taking Her hands around his face with such love and tenderness!

*

* *

5.7.72

Informed Mother of the All India Press strike situation.

*

* *

6.Z.72

Claudette who is pregnant has written a letter to Mother. She is not sure if she should go back.

Mother said "Let her go."

She remarked, "They live like cats and dogs."

Requests for birthdays were granted.

The All India Press strike situation was conveyed.

*

* *

7.7.72

The situation of the All India Press strike was discussed. The Chief Minister is in the picture now and there were discussions with him yesterday. There is a suggestion that he should be asked to arbitrate.

Mother said, "It is a good idea. Tell him that I want him to arbitrate."

AURELA completes two years. People working there have written a prayer to Mother.

Mother gave blessing packets with her photo and wrote 'blessing' on the prayer.

In reply to Barun's letter regarding 'Gazette Aurovilienne' on the subject of the number of issues of the periodical every year, whether it should continue to be six or reduced to four, Mother said, 'six'.

Page 196

8.7.72

The Chief Minister has settled the All India Press strike matter by upholding the dismissal of 5 out of 8 employees and restoration of 3. The strike will be called off day after tomorrow and work should start that day.

*

* *

9.7.72

Kishori's letter says that the DMK labour union is formed in New Horizon Stainless Steels. It seems to be part of a plan to create trouble on the eve of the Centenary. He prays for Mother's blessings and protection.

Mother gave blessings.

*

* *

10.7.72

Matrimandir's second pillar has come upto two metres. Now we take up the third one.

Sandy complains of the children not coming to the school. Some parents say that they are free not to come. The question is whether they can be told that they should come only if they accept the whole programme.

Mother said, "The reason is that it is still a school... it bores... it is not interesting for the children."

One German is not satisfied with the pay scale for workers in the Auropress.

Mother said that he should concern himself with his own work; this doesn't concern him.

He further wants to know whether he has to regard as absolute truth what Sri Aurobindo and Mother have said. He speaks of Karl Marx.

Mother said, "There is a wide world for him to go. He need not be here."

D has committed a grave wrong act. She first said that it was her personal matter. Now she has written to Mother saying that she was blind to the light and now she should not be asked to go; she will try.

Page 197

Mother wrote a message which, she says, should be used largely:

To follow all the impulses of the lower nature is surely not the supramental way and has no place here.

What we want is to hasten the advent of the supramental, not at all to fall in the ugly condition of a humanity full of desires and low impulses.

D is to be given a chance, not for a short period, otherwise she may make an effort and pretend. She is just to be told that she has been given a chance, if she does a mistake, she has to go.

Requests for Pranam and birthdays were disposed of.

*

* *

11.7.72

For explaining our case for exemption from the Land Ceilings Act under the proposed Bill, Counouma and I are going to Madras to see the Minister. Mother saw us early and gave blessing packets with Sri Aurobindo's photo.

*

* *

12.7.72

Mother asked, "It went alright?"

"Yes, Mother, the response was good. But it will need one or two more going to Madras."

*

* *

13.7.72

Mother gave replies to letters.

To one she said, "Have faith and go on."

To one who feels that if he goes to his friend it will help the friend, but another part says that it may not be good for himself, the reply was,

"Both are true. You must go one step further and conquer all attachment."

For flute playing by Tublu at the Matrimandir Gardens nursery, Mother remarked, "What for?"

Page 198

Then came a message,

As long as we go on telling lies

we go on pushing the happy Future far from us.

*

* *

15.7.72

Palit the Founder trustee of Fraternity died three days ago. The residents of Fraternity have asked Mother whether they could take his ashes to Fraternity and plant a tree. Mother said 'Bien'.

William Netter asks Mother whether he should complete his house near Auroson's Home and go to live there where life is rugged in comparison to the soft American life of his so far.

Mother said, "One should finish what one has started." She gave a blessing packet for living there.

Requests for birthday and Pranam were granted.

J and C were seen making love under a tree in the day- time. C is pregnant. The neighbouring Indonesian woman is worried about it, especially for her son what effect such a sight will have on him?

Mother said, "Nowadays children know many things. Let them know... When I was married at eighteen, my mother told me what will happen, but now... After a hundred years, two hundred years, these things will be looked upon as remnants of animality."

*

* *

15.7.72

Silence.

*

* *

16.7.72

Due to lack of money the residents of Aspiration, students and teachers, wish to finish the construction of the meditation hut. Dorothee's letter about it was read.

Page 199

Mother liked it, wrote 'benedictions' on the letter and gave a blessing packet for Dorothee.

Anand Reddy has written a play composed of extracts from Sri Aurobindo's poetry as an offering to Sri Aurobindo on the Centenary birthday and wants Mother's approval for it to be played at Aspiration. I have seen it; it is good.

Mother wrote 'blessings'.

Requests for pranam, blessings and joining Auroville were granted.

There is a proposal to bring out a special card for the villagers on 15.8.72, with Sri Aurobindo's photo, a photo of the Matrimandir construction workers at the site, and a message from Mother.

Mother wrote,

Goodwill and peace for all.

Blessings.

and said, "It should be in Tamil for them."

"Yes, Mother, it will be both in English and Tamil."

*

* *

17.7.72

"Mother, tomorrow and the day after, there will be the meeting of the Select Committee on the Land Ceilings Bill. After that we will know their decision."

"Where are they meeting ?"

"At Madras."

"You are going ?"

"No, it is their official meeting."

*

* *

18.7.72

Requests for joining Auroville, birthday Pranam and letters were disposed of.

Mother underlined the words T am proud' in Hecti's letter and wrote,

"Proud of what ?

Page 200

Show what you can do.

Blessings."

*

* *

19.7.72

A cheque was endorsed by Mother.

*

* *

20.7.72

Offering for Mother was handed over.

The weekly selection of Sri Aurobindo's words for Auroville was read. Mother said, "Good".

Requests for birthday, pranam, and re-entry in Auroville were granted.

For replying to Tim's letter Mother wanted some details from me. One of the complaints, I told her, I felt to be incorrect. Mother said, "It is not true."

For his final request Mother said, "Bien".

When I said, "Mother, after some time he may say that he wishes to work in Auroville", Mother had a laugh and nodded.

A woman wrote from America that she is in love with an actor and wishes her children to be supermen.

Mother remarked, "I am not concerned with supermen." She saw the photos and smiled. The answer to go to her is that she should read more of Sri Aurobindo's books.

The burnt workshop had the name Toujours Mieux. The name card is lost in the fire. Today Vincenzo starts building a new one at another site and has written for a new card of the same name.

Mother made a card.

Danielle and Francoise, a French couple, returning to France, went today with me to Mother. The three and a half month old child Aurele born in Auroville was also there. When they left, Mother remarked,

"The child is sweet?"

"Yes, Mother. We hope they come back to Auroville."

Mother smiled and concentrated.

Page 201

22.7.72

Sadhana suggests a meditation all over Auroville at 8.30 p.m. on the 26th July which is the Guru Purnima day. Mother said yes.

She will invite all Aurovilians to come to our Matrimandir at that time. If they cannot come, she wants to let them know that Mother's Force will touch all over Auroville.

Mother said Bien, and gave a blessing packet for her.

Mother gave blessings packets for Prof. Subramanyam for the 29th July music at Madras for the benefit of Matrimandir.

*

* *

23.7.72

Matrimandir's four pillars have been constructed upto two metres high. The concreting of the second level begins tomorrow.

*

* *

Boris wishes to leave Aurorachana and work in the forest project.

If Gerard has no objection he can take up the new work.

Shanti's letter.

She should collaborate with Sebastian in the maintenance of the 'Last School'. Auroville is for work in collaboration, but the people there do not know what it means. If they can work in collaboration, they can complement each other. No one person can do all things.

"Sebastian is not staying there. He goes there for dance only."

"That is all the more the reason why she should collaborate with him. It is needed."

Constance has been engaged since ten years in research into the ancient Egyptian civilisation. He is able to find nether the nature of his connection with it nor the door to that civilisation. He asks for Mother's help.

Mother's reply,

Ancient Egypt belongs to the past,

we are here to prepare the future.

Page 202

Diane, a visitor from USA, wishes to cut short her stay, return and divorce her husband and remarry another man.

Mother said, "It does not concern me."

J, a Frenchman, had promised to be at his expense for a year. Now it is six months and his money has run out as he went on a trip to Bombay with his friends on their persuasion.

Mother said, "No. A man of no character and will."

*

* *

24.7.72

The next weekly selection for Auroville from Sri Aurobindo's writings was read and approved.

Requests for birthday pranam and other pranam were granted.

*

* *

25.7.72

Offering handed over.

Resolutions were signed.

Letters were answered.

Stephane complains of a thief who keeps on entering into their hut and stealing things. As a result they can't go out without locking everything.

Mother's reply, One must not leave things carelessly, jewels and money unlocked, even if there is no thief."

Stephane has no knowledge of the Auropolyester work but wishes to work there. Mother approves.

David, who works at the Matrimandir, wants to know about the playing of music and reading of Savitri at the Matrimandir construction site and gardens.

Mother's reply, "Not when there is work."

Mother's advice for a disturbed person,

"When I take a decision, he should know and have confidence

*

* *

Page 203

that it is for making further progress. My force and help are with him in the work; when I decide something, it is for the progress of all."

*

* *

26.7.72

As I was going to Madras, I went to Mother early.

Informed her of Madanlal's illness. She advised his seeing Dr. Sanyal.

*

* *

27.7.72

Auroville has received Rs 50000. It will go for a part of the day to day expenses.

Informed Mother of the work done yesterday at Madras.

Huta has written asking Mother to give the name Narad to Richard Eggenberger.

Mother said, "Oh, Narad! One has to wait."

Marjorie's letter was read. Mother gives her a chance.

The names of two D's at Auroville came up.

Marjorie says that when D is excused, why not she also?

And D says that I am only a bureaucrat, I only tell people to go; Mother forgives, Mother is very good.

Mother had a good laugh, and she took my hands in hers.

I said, "Mother, formerly these things used to affect me, now they don't."

Mother laughed and said, They are like cats and dogs; like cats, and like cats they can be useful. Do you understand?"

I didn't, and she repeated, and added, "They have nothing to do with spirituality, it is animality."

"But, Mother, they announce without hesitation that by producing children they are doing great service to Auroville!"

"Auroville is going to have 50000 inhabitants, is it not? But let us see how many of these children will be there. Does this woman wish to produce more children?"

Page 204

"Not this one, Mother. She is not saying about it in her letter. It is D who will come today to Mother in the group." "These things", said Mother, "will teach you to smile".

*

* *

28.7.72

It was too late today to put up any matter.

*

* *

29.7.72

Informed Mother of Madanlal's health and of the receipt of five lac from the Government of India for Bharat Niwas.

Mother approved of sending Sri Aurobindo's Action literature to a RSS man in Jehanabad for distribution during the August celebrations.

30.7.72

Mother gave me a contribution from the Paris Association for Matrimandir received by her through a visitor. She signed Bank resolutions.

*

* *

Mother gave a mantra for an American newcomer at Auroville on her request.

In reply to a letter about hostile attacks, she said, "If she invokes Sri Aurobindo, she will be protected."

A question was raised regarding the use of chemical fertilisers in our afforestation work. Mother said,

"Where there are no eatables, it can be used."

31.7.72

The letter of Jocelyne A and Jocelyne Elder reporting to

Page 205

Mother about the Aurocreation work and their wish to come to Mother once a month was read.

Mother said that they could come with me.

On Kumud's intervention that the list of people seeing Mother was getting long, it was decided to see them once in two months.

Mother said, "Those who are useless are coming to see me; those who are useful are being stopped. I will have to arrange."

Mother gave a blessing packet for a sick person.

A golden colour canopy for Sri Aurobindo's samadhi was offered.

Mother said that it should be put there in the month of August.

*

* *

1.8.72

Offerings of flowers and Auroville brochure (2nd edn.) prepared by Alain Grandcolas.

*

* *

Mother signed a cheque.

*

* *

Village programme:-

a)opening today of a playground near the Community kitchen for village,

b)taking of village children, 12-14 year of age, for tidying work in schools, huts etc. and improving their own living habits,

c)education in the village itself.

Mother approved. She remarked that these workers should know Tamil.

2.8.72

Mother gave a blessing packet with her picture in reply to a letter of devotion.

Page 206

3.8.72

Dayanand's report about the disturbing reaction of the FFHC workers due to their not being allowed to the Ashram Prosperity on 1st August was conveyed to Mother.

She asked for some details and kept silent.

*

* *

Veronika feels lonely and like a stranger.

Mother's reply,

"Your feeling comes from the fact that you are doing nothing useful for the community.

Take up some work that you can do regularly and it will be alright."

In reply to another letter Mother said, "Change your nature."

Paul wishes to go back, but he needs 700/= which, he says,

he will repay.

He can be given.

Diane, who is facing a problem here, asks about going back to USA with Lunaure.

Mother's reply, "Perhaps it is better to go."

A birthday Pranam request was granted.

*

* *

4.8.72

A wooden paper weight made by Paul was offered.

Aurela Soap Industries have offered Rs 5000/= to Auroville. We expect more sums now. The sum of 5000/= will go to meet a part of our food and rent expenses for the members.

Kamoo has collected about 60,000/= for Matrimandir. Her proposal to go to England next month for Leela Menon's performances for the benefit of Matrimandir was approved.

John Kelly and a worker are reported to be drinking very much now-a-days.

Diane, to whom I conveyed yesterday Mother's reply about going to America, began to weep. I told her if she wishes to

Page 207

Page 208

7.8.72

Some lines from Savitri were read as the weekly selection for Auroville and approved.

*

* *

8.8.72

The Matrimandir pillars are to be completed in four stages. Two pillars have come upto the second stage. The second stage of the third one has started. We are going ahead with the work.

*

* *

Aurocreation is to have a Bank account. Yesterday there was a meeting of different workers. The emphasis was on unity. Mother signed the resolution.

*

* *

In Sri Aurobindo's Action there is a problem. The membership has dwindled. The question is whether effort should be made for membbership or membership should come of itself. It is said that it has dwindled due to stopping of our publications.

"It doesn't matter," remarked Mother. Then she asked, after a pause, "What has stopped?".

"Publication. But now we are going to start it as money is to come from the Government."

"Yes."

"So, Mother, we will have publications of booklets now. We will improve the journal and the membership can come of its own."

Mother nodded.

*

* *

9.8.72

Offered Sri Aurobindo's Circle 1972.

Mother saw the pictures and her messages that appeared in it. She endorsed a cheque from USA.

Informed Mother of the meeting to be held today at Madras with the Government at 11 a.m. regarding the integration of the

Page 209

Auroville plan with Tamilnadu planning. Chamanlal and Prabhat have gone for it.

*

* *

10.8.72

Rs 75000 have come. This enables us to pay for food and rent.

The Tamlnadu Government is willing to assist Auroville in planning.

*

* *

In reply to a letter reporting progress in silencing the mind and asking for the next step, Mother wrote,

"The next step is finding your psychic being and uniting with it."

A question was raised about the language in which command is to be given to the village children in the evening playground started at Aspiration.

Mother asked, "They understand Tamil only?"

"Yes, Mother."

"Then, Tamil."

For the Aspiration School, French and English to continue in sports and games.

*

* *

11.8.72

Silence.

12.8.72

There was an offering of Rs 501 from 'Bhagini Samaj', a Women's Association at Nairobi, interested in the maintenance of Indian culture in Africa. They requested for blessings and a message as guidance.

Mother gave the 15.8.72 message after writing 'blessings' on it.

Page 210

13.8.72

Offerings and blessings.

Piero writes that the Matrimandir construction requires concentration and it is not possible to accelerate it so as to finish the pillars by 15th August.

Mother said, "No hurrying."

He wants to know what is to be done after the pillars. Mother said, "We will see."

*

* *

14.8.72

Mother gave a golden symbol of Sri Aurobindo and said,

"It is from me to you... for Auroville... not to be given to anyone... I don't know."

"Mother, when the Matrimandir will be built, we will keep it there as a decoration. Upto then I guard it."

Mother nodded.

*

* *

The next weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was read and approved.

*

* *

15.8.72

Offerings and blessings.

*

* *

16.8.72

Mother gave money received for Matrimandir. Offerings and blessings.

*

* *

17.8.72

Mother was very pleased to know that the Kuilapalayam village has contributed Rs 210 for Matrimandir. It is a village of

Page 211

300 houses and the village elders say that the amount is very small, but they give it as a token of their expression of brotherhood, goodwill and co-operation with Auroville. I have spoken to Dyuman and we think that the Centenary napkin could be given to each house there.

Mother said, "Yes, yes. I was thinking that something should be given."

Narad has written to Mother about the smallness of the size of the Matrimandir gardens fixed by Roger.

Mother said, "I have never told Narad that it should be very big...Roger is the best judge."

Mother signed a formal paper and disposed of requests for joining Auroville.

*

* *

18.8.72

Offerings, blessings and signing of papers.

Mother answered questions on meditation sent by Seyril and Sadhana of the Matrimandir Workers Camp.

Q. Should we assemble for meditation as a community in the Matrimandir excavation?

A. I do not like so much going inside the excavation.

Q. Should the meditation be held as in the Ashram with tapes? Or in complete silence?

A. As they find convenient.

Q. How many times a week should there be such community meditations? A. According to me once a week. Q. At what hour should they be held? A. According to convenience.

Q. Our aspiration is to realise our group unity in You-Sri Aurobindo. In what ways may we do this best? Mother concentrated and kept silent.

*

* *

19.8.72

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was read.

Page 212

20.8.72

A letter narrating a dream experience of the descent of blue and Ganapati, asking for any special significance, was read.

Mother said, "It is what it is... Things are there... Why trouble oneself about the significance?"

Ajit Rao wishes to build a house in Auroville. Roger has told him that unless he works for a specific project, he should not have a house; but if Mother says that he can have it even without such a work, he will make the design. Ajit insists that only his wish to build a house in Auroville be placed before Mother, and he is prepared to work if she wants him to do so. He drinks and smokes.

Mother said, "To build a house in Auroville one should not drink or smoke."

She asked laughing, "Is he prepared to exchange smoking and drinking for a house in Auroville?"

*

* *

21.8.72

Letters were disposed of.

For one who reported progress in sadhana and asked about going to Madras for some days, Mother said, "If the thing is to progress, he should not go."

*

* *

22.8.72

Letter of Dicks about the apprehension in the mind of several Americans due to the proposed visit of Auro Arindam to America.

Mother said, "I am not sending him to America. I have not given him any mission there."

Patricia of the Matrimandir Workers Camp kitchen asks about fish and egg as part of the food of the future for Auroville.

Mother said, "This is certainly not the food of the future. But we are in a period of transition. The length of the transition depends upon the transformation of consciousness. "A

Mother answered the questions coming from Katak, John

Page 213

Walker and Constance, who wish to make a film to express the spirit of Auroville using the symbols of Tibetan Buddhism and the figure of Maitreya, a personification of Love.

Q. What is the reality behind the prophecy of Maitreya, the coming Buddha?

A. I do not know, I do not feel that Buddha will come in the future.

Q. Was Sri Aurobindo the prophesied Maitreya? A. No.

Q. What guidance can you give to Aurovilians who wish to use the medium of film in the service of the Divine?

A. One should read the books of Sri Aurobindo, what he wrote after coming here, and not confuse by imagination.

("But, Mother, Sri Aurobindo takes a life- time".

Mother said laughing, "Yes, yes.")

She added, "In his conversations with Nirod, Sri Aurobindo has spoken on Buddha and about himself, why he came, who he was. People should read these things and not confuse."

Q. Do we have your blessings to go to Dharamshala to discuss this matter with the Dalai Lama and to prepare material for the film?

(Mother did not reply)

Mother gave a blessing packet in response to a letter about group meditation and the emergence of the group psychic being.

*

* *

23.8.72

Silence.

24.8.72

Letters and requests for joining Auroville and blessings were disposed of.

Louis wanted Mother's authorisation to operate the Bank account of Auropolyester.

Mother said, "After the Bank loan is repaid."

Page 214

25.8.72

Letters and requests for financial guarantees were disposed of.

*

* *

26.8.72

Letters were disposed of.

J's mother can come to Auroville, if it does not mean increase of expenses. (J has asked for it)

About people in Auroville, Mother remarked,

"They have no conscience, no consciousness, no aspiration.

They are for a comfortable life."

*

* *

27.8.72

Sadhana gives her impressions after attending a meeting of the Planning Group—lack of mutual respect, disorder and disharmony, little accomplishment of positive things. She suggests that some individual should be nominated as a central figure to run the meetings.

Mother asked, "What name she gives?"

"None."

"Who are there? Are you there?" she asked with a smile. "Rarely."

I added, "The subjects are of all sorts. People are there to speak on subjects about which they do not know. This creates further confusion."

Mother said, "Oh!"

Janet will correspond with CIDA.

Mother answered questions from Dol6ac:

To do the Yoga one has to quieten the mind, silence it and go beyond it.

It is the ego one has to convert and transform.

Page 215

28.8.72

Sadhana's letter: "... In April you sent a message that I should fix the Matrimandir Workers Camp Kirchen. The kitchen now works well...I feel that centuries ago I worked at decorating pyramids and that I was close to you and served you. I would like to know if you remember this.

I am ready to again decorate your temple, if you feel it is best. Wherever you want me to work, I will work."

Mother replied,

"It is now time to work.

We are here not to copy the past, but to exceed.

Your work is quite satisfactory.

I send you my love and blessings."

Roger complained about someone who was asked to work with him, but who works elsewhere.

Mother said, "He may have reasons for it. You can call him and ask him."

*

* *

29.8.72

Mother disposed of letters and requests.

*

* *

30.8.72

Shanti's letter about Auroville education was read.

Mother gave some indications about persons.

*

* *

31.8.72

Mother spoke of a letter received from Niranjan. They are quitting Hermitage and, it is not clear, but they do not want reimbursement for the constructions done there. I should ask Andre' about the contents of the letter and her reply.

*

* *

For Auroville education Roger wishes to have a council of Yvonne, Norman and Tanmaya.

Page 216

Mother called Roger and the matter was decided. Yvonne and Shanti will look after the education together. For Norman she wrote,

"From now, for education at Auroville, Norman will be in charge of external relations, reception of visitors, correspondence, books etc. This responsibility, by its importance, needs all his activity."

*

* *

Letters were disposed of.

One was about snakes. The following note was made:

For Auroville Mother is not interested in zoos. We have already too much tendency of attachment to animality rather than super-mentality.

Kamoo wanted a letter of authority to collect funds for Matrimandir.

Mother said yes after getting the information that she has brought about Rs 50000 and that I feel that it can be given.

*

* *

Today Mother forgot to give me transformation flowers. When asked, she gave eight flowers in stead of the usual four, saying with a smile, "Today, double dose."

*

* *

1.9.72

Jocelyn's proposal for the Aurorachana newsletter 'Auroville Now' was put up.

Mother remarked, "I was thinking whether it would be good."

It was decided that it should not be brought out now.

*

* *

2.9.72

I offered a Grace flower to Mother.

Mother asked, "From you? I give it to you?"

I stretched my hand, but she had already taken the flower near her nose. She smelt it, folded her hands around it, closed her eyes, and then kept it on the side table.

Page 217

There was a question from Navoditte,

"Two years ago you told Aspiration to meditate each evening at 7.45. Now you suggest "once a week" for the Centre. Could you comment?"

Mother said, "It is a compliment. Are they taking it as a punishment?"

There were some questions from Seyril about the time, place etc of meditation, although in a way Mother has already answered them before.

Mother said, "These are things of which rules are not to be made. It should come spontaneously and according to the need of the moment."

There was also the question, "If at. the time fixed for meditation there is work, should they do the work?"

Mother said, "Naturally."

In the end she said, "I do not- answer."

*

* *

3.9.72

Letters and requests were disposed of and a formal paper was signed.

For a person asking for advice for inner progress and for education work, Mother replied, "Be steady and confident."

Narad wrote about thefts by Tamil workers. For the mango theft, Mother remarked, "Oh, it is just food!" On hearing of other petty thefts, she had a laugh. "They are to be excused this time," she said.

I told Mother that when possible I wish to start education of the children. She said Yes.

Yvonne's yesterday meeting at Aspiration went off well. Roger wants the change at once; Yvonne says we should have a gradual change in order to avoid chaos. Mother nodded.

A visitor child has been insisting for some days to see Mother. He has already seen her once. He was allowed to be brought.

When the child came in he did not stay near Mother but went

Page 218

away without her touch. I asked Mother about it. She said, "Probably he sees me in another form and when he comes here he finds me different."

A pregnant woman in Auroville wishes to know by which doctor and at what place the delivery is to take place.

Such questions can be settled among ourselves, without referring to Mother, unless there is something complicated.

*

* *

5.9.72

The weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was approved.

Letters disposed of. .

Anand Reddy wanted to know about his work in view of the changes in Auroville education.

Mother's reply, "Continue the work you are doing."

The child who came yesterday came today also. Today he was in front of Mother for a moment, then hurried away.

Mother gave him sweets. She said, "It is funny... I know what he wants."

As an offshoot from an Aurovillian's letter, Mother made remarks about lying:

"We could say, 'The first condition for living in Auroville is not to lie'...You wish to ask something?"

"Mother, if it is made a condition for people wishing to see Mother, she will have a very little crowd to see.."

Mother laughed and said, "If we make it a condition for Auroville no one will be there."

She added,

"It is not the time; people are not ready.

When one purposely says what one knows to be not true, it is lying..

When one says something in ignorance, it is a different matter.

The supramental is a world of Truth, it is a non-lying world, but here there is so much lying, that is what prevents its coming."

"Often we put before Mother our wishes, get her approval or

Page 219

blessings, and when we go out we say, 'Mother has asked me to do this or that'."

Mother smiled and said, "Yes, it is lying."

In the end she said,

"If you do not wish to say something which is true, instead of lying just keep silent. There is a great strength in the power to keep silent."

*

* *

6.9.72

A moment of silence.

*

* *

7.9.72

Rs 25000 are brought by Navajata. It goes for Auroville's electricity, phone, maintenance expenses.

Letters and requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

The little child came today also.

Mother said, "He is nice. He is a big boy."

8.9.72

Shanti has offered one Ambassador car to Auroville.

A sick person wishes to see Mother.

She said, "I do not wish to see sick people. Sickness means there is something wrong inside."

The Matrimandir Camp Group meditation in the meditation room of the Camp on Thursdays at 8.15 p.m., subject to change in place and time in special circumstances, has Mother's blessings.

Huta was called in. Her letter was read.

Mother said "It is alright" and signed with blessings.

*

* *

Page 220

9.9.72

The subject of the soap industry in Auroville came up again. Mother's remarks,

"I do not change my decision. When I say a thing, for me it is done, and then I forget it. I had thought it was done. Why quarrel? It is out of my consciousness."

I prayed to Mother for her help in this knotty problem.

And she helped.

*

* *

10.9.72

The weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was read.

She said, "Good."

Last evening Navajata, Nandini Satpaty, Anjani and myself had a meeting for how to get support and funds for Auroville. Nandini of her own made the suggestion that a deputation should see Indira Gandhi with a request to have Auroville recognized as a Government of India project and included in the Fifth Year Plan. Nava asked Nandini to be in the deputation and to lead it. Nandini has agreed.

Mother said, "It is good."

Mother's message to two politicians in disagreement with each other was read and corrected.

*

* *

11.9.72

Letters were disposed of.

For a person working satisfactorily since a year, who now asks for maintenance by the Auroville Prosperity, Mother said neither yes nor no, but asked after a while, "How to know that they have no money?"

"It is very difficult to know. In some cases where they demanded Prosperity and were asked to wait, they managed to continue some more months with their money."

"Yes, how to know? What to do? What can I say?"

"To this man I can say clearly that Prosperity is for those who

Page 221

have no money left with them, and if he says that he has nothing, we give him the Prosperity and leave him to his conscience."

"Yes, yes, it is a very good idea. Speak to him.'

*

* *

12.9.72

Yesterday we have received five lakhs. It is earmarked for a Guest House, it will be spent for renovation, airconditioning etc of Promesse; only three new cottages will be built; it does not help us at present.

Mother was not interested apparently.

Letters were disposed of.

For a person wavering about staying in Auroville, Mother said,

"He should take a decision and keep it."

*

* *

13.9.72

Mother signed a cheque.

Niranjan has left Hermitage. We have to take care of it.

*

* *

14.9.72

Last midnight we have completed one pillar of Matrimandir. The other three pillars we expect to complete in six weeks. Lack of money is a big difficulty.

Niranjan came to ask about Mother's reply. I have told him that Mother has wished me to take care of it. The person willing to be there has gone there and it is arranged.

Letters were disposed of.

For one person, about living in Auroville, the reply was,

"The first condition is to stop telling lies."

Page 222

15.9.72

The Madras engineers, who came to inspect the construction of the Matrimandir, have found it to be very satisfactory. Roger is going on 20th. That day he will give them further instructions at Madras.

Mother asked, "What date is today?"

*

* *

Letters were disposed of.

*

* *

16.9.72

Piero's letter about the next phases of the Matrimandir construction. He wants to know whether it should be continued by ourselves or by a contractor.

Mother asked, "What does Roger say?"

"He agrees that it be continued by Piero, preferably with the help of the Ashram engineers, if available."

Mother approves of our continuing the work.

*

* *

17.9.72

Andre Pithon speaks of his difficulties and the help received from Mother, and wishes to see Mother. Approved to come in group.

There is a long letter from Shraddhalu—doubts, ignorance, hierarchy in Auroville, clash of egos etc. Mother's reply,

"The Divine is everywhere and in everything, and we are created to discover the Divine and to unite with the Divine for his manifestation

Blessings."

18.9.72

Mother disposed of letters.

Page 223

One person has failed to give up smoking. He wants Mother's special help for it.

Shanti has asked whether the new way of working in education is alright.

Mother said Yes.

*

* *

19.9.72

Letters were disposed of.

The lady who looks after the Ganesha temple at Auroorchard inquires whether the pictures of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother can be kept there.

Mother said, "It does not fit. ( Ca ne va pas)"

*

* *

20.9.72

Chamanlal writes about disharmony between the Madras Institute and Auroville Architectural office. Today there is a meeting. Blessings prayed for.

*

* *

21.9.72

Letters were disposed of.

X wanted to know the significance of a dream. Mother did not answer. I asked, "Should I say that Mother did not say anything?"

She said, "No. The symbols differ with persons. If I had known ten twelve dreams of this person it could be known. If I had this dream it could be known."

A nutritious biscuit has been prepared by Chernet at Aspiration. Some pieces were sent to Mother.

She wished these to be given to Kumud for Pranab, Champaklal, Dr. Sanyal, and Kumud herself.

*

* *

Page 224

22.9.72

The question of Tibetan children was referred to Mother by Shanti and Katak. Should they be dispersed among the families of Aspiration? The idea is that they should be integrated.

Mother said, "No. Why? What do they want? Unity? Unity does not mean this sort of thing. Unity is in the Divine. This is not equality. Equality is in the Divine unity where friends and enemies, known and unknown, all are in unity. Do they know about Tibetan culture? Each country has its culture and way of being. Tibetans have lost their country, they wish to preserve their culture naturally. Let them continue."

"Another suggestion is that, when it is possible, they should be shifted from here to a separate boarding house in Aspiration."

"Yes."

*

* *

X has written that he will fulfill the necessary conditions. Mother said Bon.

"People make promises but do not keep them after writing to Mother. Should I tell him that he has to fulfil his promise?" "Yes. I can write, 'Keep your word'."

*

* *

In reply to a letter about the writer being criticised by others, Mother said, "What can I do? I cannot take decisions. They should work in collaboration and harmony in Auroville."

She gave a blessings packet for the writer and said,

"You work for the best,

above human narrowness,

and it will be alright."

*

* *

23.9.72

Mother endorsed a cheque

Anjani is giving charge today to Chandramauli Reddy, the new Chief Secretary of Pondicherry. He wishes to start his work after doing Pranam to Mother tomorrow.

Page 225

He can come tomorrow.

One young person is having mental trouble.

He is to be shown to Dr. Surya.

*

* *

24.9.72

One lakh has been received yesterday from Birlas. They had promised it about a year ago. The amount will go for maintenance expenses, food, rent etc.

Weekly selections from Sri Aurobindo were read and approved.

Letters were disposed of.

*

* *

25.9.72

Howard asks Mother whether Parthasarathi should take treatment for tuberculosis of bone and tubercular meningitis.

Mother did not reply. When I asked what should be said to this man, she said,

"This I am telling you. I have seen cases of cure where there is faith in the treatment."

"But in this letter faith is not there, a doubt is there".

"Yes."

"Mother, is it faith that cures, or is it the treatment?"

"Both. For the treatment, for the force of cure to pass from the vital into the physical, faith in the physical is needed.

The mind wishes for clear cut things, this or that, it is not like that. Both act. You can tell him. You have understood?"

Then Champaklal spoke to Mother about the cure of cataract of his sister by faith in Mother's force.

*

* *

26.9.72

The Government of India promised us a grant of ten lakhs three years ago. Five lakhs already received have gone to the

Page 226

Aspiration Schools construction. Two lakhs have arrived this morning. From this amount we will now start construction of a boarding-house for teachers and students.

Mother was pleased to know about the new construction.

Anjani has contributed Rs 7000/= for Matrimandir.

Auroville Designs is getting a new contract with State Bank of India at Bombay. Other works also are likely to come. For working convenience an account is to be opened in Bombay. William Netter prefers single operation by himself.

Mother does not approve.

For joint operation she said, "For operation of the Bank account in Bombay there should be someone in Bombay." William suggests Behram Palkhiwala.

Mother asked, "Does he agree?"

"I think so, but he will be asked."

The biscuit made by Chernet and offered a few days ago has not been appreciated so much by those to whom Mother gave it. The comments vary from 'good' to 'not so good', 'not good'. Mother said, "He should improve it."

A sick person is much better today. But there is fever and pain in chest. The doctors do not know the cause of the fever. Mother smiled and said, "So, the doctors are ignorant!"

*

* *

N.K. Dasgupta wants refund of his contribution of 10,000/= for residence in Auroville. He came to stay here but could not like the life here.

Mother remarked, "It will be impossible if we start refunding."

I read the last para of his letter in which he said he will take the money as a blessing for this unfortunate son of Mother that he is.

Mother remarked, "When he comes to visit Auroville he need not pay."

*

* *

27.9.72

Three Indians have written to Mother for blessings and guidance

Page 227

for Durga puja during Navaratra at Matrimandir. Mother said 'Alright'.

I informed her that the idea is that near the Matrimandir Workshop the place should be cleaned, Durga's picture be installed and Sri Aurobindo's 'Hymn to Durga' be recited.

Mother nodded approval. When asked for further guidance or if she has to say more about it, she said, "Nothing."

*

* *

27.9.72

"Mother, I have nothing to say," with these words I offered a Grace flower. She smiled.

28.9.72

A woman in France wanted delivery of her child at the Ashram. Mother had said, "Not at the Ashram, you can have it in Auroville". I told Mother that people came from outside, the children were born, and then they went away without contributing to the Maternity expenses it. is Auroville that has to bear the expenses.

Mother said, "You should be occupied with the Aurovilians. Others, it is horrible."

Daniel's letter about Prosperity for village people who wish to join Auroville.

The first question is if the 'pocket money' be provided for each as part of his Prosperity.

Mother said, "It can continue."

The second question related to the cases where the person from the village continues to live in his village hut with his family, takes meals with them, and thus shares his Prosperity with them.

Mother was not replying. I said that it then becomes like salary. She said, "It doesn't matter."

"What to do?"

She remarked, "Human nature is like that, profiteering."

Page 228

Lisa requests for Auroville Kitchen food. Mother said, "It is alright."

H and D are not satisfactory, not improving. They have been on trial. Mother had given a chance to D.

I suggested that they should leave Auroville. Mother confirmed it.

*

* *

Sandy requests for a new name.

Mother did not give.

She doesn't seem to be interested now in these things. She said, "Oh, new name! Name!"

*

* *

29.7.72

For Bharatniwas five lakhs have been received from the Uttar Pradesh Govt for the U.P. pavilion. We can use this money next year when we start the State pavilions or earlier for the common zone if the U.P. Government agrees.

Letters were disposed of.

*

* *

30.9.72

One person was admitted to Auroville on trial.

*

* *

1.10.72

A teacher writes about the bright situation a fortnight after the start of the new educational programme, the difficulties being faced and the resolve she and her colleague have taken to work hard and get over fatigue.

Mother gave blessing packets.

*

* *

I had spoken about H and D two days ago. Their trial period is not satisfactory and it was suggested that they should quit.

Page 229

(Mother nodded) But they are not believing me. They refer to what Mother said last year that her instructions will be in writing.

Mother said, "I will write", and she wrote,

"H

D

Certainly Auroville is not the right place for you.

Blessings."

Then I spoke about the problem created by their friends who say that Mother is autocratic, Shyam Sunder is autocratic, etc. They are not respecting Mother's decisions.

Mother said, "I wish to write something for you."

She wrote,

Auroville wants to shelter people happy to be in Auroville. Those who are dissatisfied ought to return to the world where they can do what they want and where there is place for everything.

She said, "You can show it to them, but make a copy first."

Then I put up a note before her for signature, if she approves. She said, "You are too...that is what I don't like."

"But, why people in Auroville do not respect Mother? Why are they here?"

"But how can I sign it? You can sign it."

(I didn't see my way to sign it, so I kept silent.)

Then she said that it should be spontaneous, the obedience should be spontaneous, not imposed. "I cannot claim it from them", she said. "For you it is different. You can say, 'The first and most important condition is obedience to Mother'. Why not choose something from Sri Aurobindo? He has written in abundance to Nirod. Read again."

This time I read the proposed note omitting the words not approved by her, and said that I will choose something from Sri Aurobindo, put it in the beginning and show it to her tomorrow.

Mother was quite pleased and said, "That is it, that is it."

She remarked,'In Auroville I do not want many men. I want some people, but true people. If you want many people, I can give you a hundred thousand in a moment from S. Africa."

*

* *

3.10.72

The second pillar of Matrimandir was completed last night. In

Page 230

the first pillar a foundation stone touched by Mother was placed, in the second a blessing packet in a wooden box was placed. Now two blessing packets are asked for the next two pillars.

Mother took out two blessing packets and asked me to choose one. For the fourth, she said, the blessing packet will be given when the work is being done, she said.

*

* *

Letters were disposed of.

*

* *

In continuation of yesterday's note matter, I read out selections from Sri Aurobindo. She said, "Very good, very good."

The subsequent portion was also read again and she signed with blessings.

The text:

Always behave as if the Mother was looking at you because she is, indeed, always present.

Do nothing, try to think and feel nothing that would be unworthy of the Divine Presence.

Aspire especially for the elimination of all obscurity and unconsciousness in the nature.

—Sri Aurobindo

Those who

do not stop telling lies,

do not stop drinking or

do not work regularly for the community

are a burden on

Blessings

—The Mother

*

* *

Page 231

4.10.72

Mother gave a blessing packet in reply to a problem put by Talwar, Chairman, State Bank of India, about how to approach a certain situation in his official work.

"It is sufficient for me," he said.

*

* *

5.10.72

Aurodairy's construction should be complete in a month. But one part will be ready on Sunday, 8th inst, for the cows to move in. Krishna is asking for date and time and blessings.

Mother said, "Monday, 9th inst." and wrote the name card Aurodairy with blessings.

Letters and admission requests were disposed of.

One person writes that he has two beings in him. One that is sympathetic and works best, the other, vitalistic and egoistic, that comments on and criticises others. When he notices the second one, he thinks more of Mother, but after a time it returns.

Mother dictated the reply:

You have to ignore it, if you can. If you find it difficult, you should continue your effort until it is transformed or eliminated.

6.10.72

A woman feels such nearness to Mother that she does not feel the necessity of seeing her on her birthday, but wants Mother to decide what is best for her.

Mother asked, "She can come?"

I said, "Yes, Mother."

So she will come.

Four persons (two French and two non-French) working at 7 Banyans for the afforestation project pray for a name for the place.

Mother wrote the name Fertile and pronounced it the French way.

They can come one day after me in a week's time.

Page 232

A request for joining Auroville was answered.

*

* *

7.10.72

Shanti and Shraddhavan find the Far Beach good for the older children's educational activity. They go on cycle. They can continue. Cycling is good for health.

*

* *

8.10.72

A woman writes of something gone wrong in her and wishes to see Mother. I spoke about her not following Mother's specific directions.

Mother said, "Oh, if one does not obey, I can't be responsible!"

"I can see her after she obeys," she added.

*

* *

9.10.72

There was an unsigned typed letter of complaint against Narad.

Mother said, "In cases of anonymous letters we should ignore them."

There was a letter from Dennis of the afforestation project.

Mother replied, "Snakes are to be sent to the Madras Institute for making vaccine; scorpions are to be killed unless you find some Institute for their use."

in reply to another query about dollars to be cashed through non-banking channels for getting better rate, Mother said, "These should be cashed through Banks."

*

* *

10.10.72

Khoday Distilleries Ltd has now withdrawn its application for recognition of the name 'Auroville' for is products. Bachubhai acted as our Solicitor.

Page 233

Mother was glad to know of it.

For the Auroville Designs Bank account at Bombay, Behram Palkhivala says that he may not be available always, so his wife Dhan Palkhivala can sign with William Netter.

Mother approved and signed the resolution.

*

* *

Letters were disposed of.

Krishna's letter about Hermitage.

Mother asked, "What do you say?"

"Not a bad idea."

"Alright."

"He can grow fruit trees and plant there.

" Mother nodded approval.

*

* *

In Kamoo's absence Dr. Kamal can look after delivery at Promesse Maternity.

*

* *

11.10.72

Offerings of Tibetan style things.

12.10.72

Rs 10000 have come. The amount goes for electricity and phone.

Letters were disposed of.

13.10.72

Offerings handed over to Mother.

Five lakhs have come from the Mysore Government for the Mysore Pavilion in Bharat Nivas. We can use this money in future when we start constructing the State pavilions.

Page 234

Letter of A and N for their marriage.

No clear reply from Mother. They can come with me on 16th.

*

* *

14.10.72

An offering was handed over.

A letter was read.

No reply apart from concentration.

(The person concerned, I came to know later, felt something at that moment.)

*

* *

15.10.72

Flowers and offerings handed over.

Mother drew my attention towards the picture of Durga put before her. Today is Durga Puja, ashtami, and gave special blessings packets.

For 'Fertile', Mother blessed a plant 'The New World' by touching it. She was smiling happily with a tender touch.

*

* *

16.10.72

Offerings.

Letters and admissions disposed of.

Regarding the marriage of A and N, Mother said, "Wait, no hurry."

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was read and approved.

A student wishes to see Mother before going to America to see his parents during the school vacation. Mother said, "I do not see those who go out.'

One German is staying at Far Beach since ten days, feels that he is learning and wishes to stay longer. He has not decided to be in Auroville.

Page 235

Mother asked, "What is your idea?"

"He can be there a month or two."

"You ask him what he is capable of doing."

"Should he involve himself in some work?"

Mother nodded.

*

* *

17.10.72

Mother gave Victory blessings. Today it is Vijayadashami day.

There is a big crowd waiting, so no business.

*

* *

18.10.72

Pranam.

Today Mother wishes to finish early. So no business.

*

* *

19.10.72

Letters were disposed of.

Auroarindam wants to start a newsletter in America. Mother was asked for a name.

She said, "The only name that comes is 'Attempt'." While waiting for the card to write the name, she said, "You write to him that it is a part of the name. When he sends us proof of success, it will be 'Successful Attempt'."

Shraddhalu's questions were answered. Q. Is the Mother in Her "everyday" consciousness aware of the community Findhorn in Scotland? A. No.

Q. Is the Mother the guiding Force behind Findhorn? (As She is in Auroville and the Ashram.)

A. Not the same. It is absurd to think so.

Q. Is the picking of flowers detrimental to communication with Nature and the beings involved?

A. If it were so we would not have been allowed to do it.

Page 236

Q. Can the Mother tell us of any relationship between the plant kingdom and the lunar phases?

A. The moon has its effects. It is known.

Regarding his attraction for non-interference with wild growth and objection of other residents of Aspiration who want cleanliness near habitation places, she said, "It may be good for him, but he should not impose it on others."

On a further question she said, "A separate place may be given to him to do as he likes regarding the plants."

*

* *

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

One of the applicants was teaching.

Mother remarked that for teaching one has to be very careful. "One cannot take people like this and that. It is dangerous."

*

* *

Incidentally the question of marriages came up.

Mother said that it is an old system. The basis of faithfulness in marriage is the preference of a man for one woman and the preference of a woman for one man. For some time it goes on, but later one loses the preference and the trouble starts. If the marriage is for association for a work it is different, but it is so for only one in a million. Then it lasts.

"Mother, at the time of marriage one has not even fixed the ideal or aim of life."

"At that time", said Mother, "it is impulse...sexual impulse. At that time if you tell them something, they will not understand. Marriages arranged by parents have other conveniences, but... Marriages on impulse fade with the impulse. It is an old thing...I have to say many things. The union should be for association for an ideal, a work, otherwise it is a stupidity

*

* *

20.10.72

At Matrimandir the third pillar is finished. Mother was happy to know.

Day before yesterday when I went to Matrimandir there came

Page 237

the idea of starting the work of construction of the twelve meditation rooms and the Matrimandir Gardens. (Mother was happy.)

On the other hand we have no money. There is no money to pay for the land already bought, several construction works have stopped, even for the Matrimandir work already done we have borrowed a lac of rupees. In spite of this difficulty the idea persists.

"I want to know what Mother sees about it."

"There is no money at all?"

"No, Mother."

"I see a pressure in the atmosphere... but what to do?"

"I have spoken to the people at Matrimandir, Piero, Alain. There is the difficulty of money. They have asked me to ask Mother if she says 'yes'. At present, even if one begins, one can begin only slowly."

"Are materials necessary?"

"In the beginning, no. It does not cost much. But towards the end, it will cost a good deal."

Mother gave her approval for commencing.

"Do I say to the people at Matrimandir that Mother has said Yes?"

"Yes."

*

* *

Letters were disposed of.

*

* *

21.10.72

Pranam.

*

* *

22.10.72

Mother did not accept the statement of a couple as correct. She told me to keep a book of those who have been accepted on a lie for Auroville.

Many names will be there, she remarked. Then she wrote a message :

Page 238

For those who have been taken on a wrong statement of theirs, there is only one solution: it is to cure in themselves all falsehood, that is to say all what contradicts in their consciousness the Presence of the Divine.

*

* *

23.10.72

Letters were disposed of.

For those going out and wishing to see her, Mother said, "I tell you once for all, I do not wish to see people going out except those who are sent by you or me. But don't tell it."

*

* *

24.10.72

A few days ago I had spoken about the extension of the areas of work of the Matrimandir construction and Mother had approved of it.

She confirmed, "Yes."

"But Piero does not agree to do it."

"Why?"

I read out from the letter written by Piero to me.

Mother wrote a message,

The true spirit of collaboration in Auroville is collaboraion and must be more and more so.

True collaboration paves the way to divinity?

Blessings.

*

* *

28.10.72

I spoke yesterday to Piero. He says that it is not a question of collaboration or goodwill or faith in Mother. He speaks of financial difficulty, his overwork and increase in work due to change in plans.

Mother went into details. She said, "Truly, I can't say what to do. I am not an architect, not an expert. Each one is sticking to one's own point of view." (She shook her hands) "What is the solution?"

Page 239

"Piero is the most capable person for the construction. He is necessary for the work. I can try to persuade him, Mother."

"And if he is not persuaded?"

"Then I don't know."

"Try to find out a meeting point, a common base for the work to be done."

"Yes, Mother, I can try."

She gave a blessing packet.

*

* *

26.10

Offering handed over.

Rs 50000 have come. It goes for general expenses.

*

* *

Yesterday I went to Matrimandir, took Piero with me and there was a meeting with the people working there. The talking was done without passion and it is agreed that we should first finish the necessary studies in detail and then start the new areas of work in a few weeks.

Mother was pleased to know of it.

*

* *

27.10

Mother signed the resolution for loan from the State Bank for the Handmade Paper Unit. We hope to start production in February.

Letters were disposed of.

Howard is to go to Fertile. Mother thinks the work at fertile to be important.

Requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

*

* *

28.10

Pranam.

Page 240

29.10.72

Letters were disposed of.

Louise wishes to be in Pondicherry.

"I can't accept her for the Ashram", said Mother.

She can work for Auroville. She can work with Anjani.

"You can arrange," said Mother.

*

* *

Mother approved of Prabhat, M. J. Patel, Howard, Frederick and Tim to form a group to coordinate the Japanese pavilion and cultural participation in Auroville.

She wanted to know what is happening about the Japanese pavilion.

Informed her about it.

*

* *

30.10.72

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo.

Letters were disposed of.

*

* *

31.10.72

On a request, Mother gave a message for the Matrimandir

workers.

"Harmony

Goodwill

Discipline

Truth

I can work with you only if you do not say a lie and are at the service of Truth!

—The Mother

*

* *

Letters and requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

Page 241

1.11.72

Pranam and offerings.

Today and Tomorrow', Society's publication : Mother went through each page. It is looked after by Pawan. It has eight pages only. She asked, "Is that all?"

*

* *

2.11.72

Offerings and letters.

3.11.72

The fourth pillar of the Matrimandir is going to be completed, if it does not rain. Piero and Gerard have asked for a blessings packet to be put in this pillar. It is the Western one, Maha-saraswati.

Mother gave a white packet.

*

* *

Blessings for a sick person.

A request to join Auroville is rejected.

Dawn's letter. She should continue to remain here at Pondicherry.

*

* *

4.11.72

Shraddhalu wants to know how Mother will wish the anniversary of 'Beauty' ( Nursery at Aspiration), falling tomorrow, to be observed.

She said, "Good work."

Mother said that Huta will be the guardian of Matrimandir. For her a residence is to be built in one of the twelve gardens there. She has given money also for it.

I said that when Roger comes back I will speak to him about it and get it settled.

Page 242

There was a talk about the costly architecture and changes in architectural plans. The old roof-curves at Promesse are proposed by Roger to be broken. It will cost about Rs 15000.

Mother said, "Don't do it."

*

* *

5.11.72

Last evening the four pillars of Matrimandir have been completed.

Mother gave a box of toffees for the Matrimandir Camp.

Today Mother gave a new blessings packet with her photo and the date 5.11.72. It is Deepawali day.

*

* *

6.11.72

In accordance with our afforestation plans, we have planted eight hundred trees at Fertile.

"Eight hundred!" Mother said with a smile.

"The work continues, Mother."

*

* *

7.11.72

Letters were disposed of.

Also requests for Prosperity and joining Auroville.

*

* *

8.11.72

Yesterday we have received Rs 25000.

June Maher asks Mother about the incorporation of Auroville Association of Santa Cruz under the law of California, and also if it should be the same name.

Mother approves of the registration and the same name.

About three weeks ago two thieves were caught at Aspiration. They are boys from the villages. I was there and said that we will not give them to the police, and offered them construction job.

Page 243

They didn't come and are again caught in thefts at Aspiration. One has run away; one has been given by Vincenzo to the police. The police will let him off unless a formal complaint is filed by us by midday today.

"Oh! Then they will do it again."

"They are from a village outside of Auroville and we have already given them a chance."

"Then let them be given over to the police."

*

* *

9.11.72

I have received from Huta what Mother wrote to her about Matrimandir and her house. I will speak to Roger about it when he comes.

Mother nodded.

About a person wishing to come back to Auroville, Mother said,

"Auroville is not the refuge for unsuccessful people."

About a Swiss who is very ill and not happy, Mother said,

"He is not ready for Auroville. He should go back."

*

* *

10.11.72

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was read.

Shanti's letter was answered.

In the course of reply to a question about Arumugham, a Tamil boy in Aspiration, Mother said that he is not meant to be educated intellectually .But people act by their mind, yet if one does not get out of the mind one is nowhere. Goodwill, mental, vital and physical goodwill is more important than intelligence and ability to speak clearly and big words.

*

* *

12.11.72

In reply to a letter:-

Page 244

About a spiritual experience Mother said that if one has it one should try to remain there.

About premonitions, she said that she does not understand how it is dangerous. These come to warn beforehand. If one is quiet one can understand the things to come and try to prevent them.

*

* *

13.11.72

About children born in Auroville, Mother said that one can not ask them to leave Auroville. They are to live freely in Auroville.

*

* *

14.11.72

The University of Boston has sent a $50/- cheque to Ashram after hearing Udar's speech with thanks for 'sending such a fine individual'. Cheque offered to Mother.

Letters from Auroville disposed of.

Mother gave a blessing packet with Sri Aurobindo's photo for a woman who wishes Sri Aurobindo to tell her what to do.

*

* *

15.11.72

Mother signed the resolution authorising loans from SBI to Auropolyester.

*

* *

16.11.72

The man in Auroville who was told last month to wait for his marriage says that he was already committed to the marriage and prays for forgiveness from Mother for having asked her to admit the woman also in Auroville.

Mother said, "Now that he has done it, let him make the best of it."

Page 245

She remarked further, "He has not learnt the lesson, now he will have the consequences. What can be done? Let him make the best of it."

*

* *

17.11.72

Letters were disposed of.

One person who has gone abroad, wishes his 100/= food prosperity to go to his wife here to meet her needs. Mother does not like these things.

When asked I said, "Her special needs may be considered sympathetically."

She remarked that these are too small things.

*

* *

18.11.72

No work today.

*

* *

19.11.72

Rs 50,000/= are received for Auroville. This will take us through this month for daily maintenance expenses.

In reply to a question from Anne what to do, Mother said,

"These are mental questions. One should try every morning to get the right aspiration from the Divine and then do the things in the day."

Regarding X wishing to join Auroville, Mother said, "Useless."

It was suggested by someone that he be taken in. Then she said, "On trial. But one works well during trial and then..."

*

* *

20.11.72

Mother gave a box of collections for Auroville.

Then Kumud gave her the emptied box and Mother put a coin in it.

Page 246

Huta's letter was read and answered.

Other letters were read and received blessing packets.

21.11.72

Signatures and blessings.

*

* *

23.11.72

Letters and requests for admission to Auroville were disposed of.

Anand's letter about education was disposed of.

*

* *

24.11.72

Darshan day.

*

* *

25.11.72

Offering handed over.

Message from Devendra regarding Nandini's election given.

*

* *

26.11.72

There was a long letter from an Ashramite about the wide falsehood among the majority of people in the Ashram. It was read in full. Mother asked some things and then went into trance.

Letter of Stephan and Pierre regarding the cafetaria.

Mother said to close the cafeteria. About the use of the place she asked me. I said that if the community wants the Pondy office to go there it can go, or some other activity may be chosen.

Page 247

Shanti's letter.

Mother gave a reply in one word and then went into trance.

After a while Mother wanted to write a message. She wrote it and wanted a copy immediately.

26.11.72

Before dying falsehood rises in full swing.

Still people understand only the lesson of catastrophe. Will it have to come before they open their eyes to truth? I ask an effort from all so that it has not to be.

It is only the Truth that can save us; truth in words, truth in action, truth in will, truth in feelings. It is a choice between serving the Truth or being destroyed.

—The Mother

*

* *

27.11.72

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo was read and approved.

Mother asked,''form where it is ?

"From where it is?" "From 'Conversations with Nirod'."

Mother disposed of letters, requests for joining Auroville, Prosperity and blessings.

A 34 year old woman has raised Several questions.

1.Her sleep is light. She feels disturbed by the noise made by the neighbours and the early croaking of the cocks of one of them. What to do?

Mother said, "Not to listen to these is under her control".

2.Should she have a baby?

Mother said, "No, no. There are enough babies."

"But she is 34 years old and childless. Should she have a baby?"

"No. no."

3.She is plagued by vital desires and sex-desires. Should she have sex-relations?"

"No. no. She should read what Sri Aurobindo has said. The sex-energy should be elevated, to the chest."

Page 248

4.Where she should live and what she should do?

(She is doing nothing)

"Can you give her some work?"

"Yes, Mother." "Then give her work."

5.She wants a new name.

"When she will be a new person," said Mother.

A sick woman gone out for treatment asks for Mother's help. Mother said, "What can we do? She has no faith."

*

* *

28.11.72

Mother signed a paper and disposed of a letter and requests for joining Auroville.

SABDA's history and Income Tax trouble were placed before Mother.

About the alternatives, Mother said, "Let there be a separate Society."

*

* *

29.11.72

A person is invited by the World Unity Conference at Delhi. He wishes to know what is Mother's will.

Mother asked, "Is he not useful here?"

He is to take his own decision.

For Matrimandir 1.25 lakh has come. We need 5 lakhs more to properly resume the work.

Changes in the architectural plans causing more costliness were mentioned.

Mother said, "Naturally the cost increases."

*

* *

30.11.72

Letters were disposed of.

Page 249

1.12.72

We have received Rs 50000. This goes towards food, Prosperity etc for this new month.

Request for joining Auroville disposed of.

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo.

*

* *

2.12.72—6.12.72

Pranam and silence.

*

* *

7.12.72

As a result of the cyclone that came in the night of 5th, the community kitchen in Aspiration has fallen down.

"The kitchen or the dining place?" asked Mother.

"The dining place. The kitchen and store room have asbestos roof and they have remained. At the farm, banana plants are destroyed. At Aspiration some other structures also have been destroyed."

"The fruits in the banana trees can be used even if they are unripe."

"Yes, Mother."

A letter was answered.

*

* *

8.12.72

The English translation of Mother's message of 1st December was read.

Mother made a correction.

The text of the 1st Dec. message as corrected:

Auroville has been created for a progressive superhumanity, not for an infra-humanity governed by its instincts and dominated by its desires. Those who belong to the infra-humanity, the animal humanity, have no place here.

Page 250

Auroville is for those who aspire for the supramental and make an effort to reach there.

*

* *

Requests for joining Auroville and letters were disposed of.

Mother's reply to one of the letters,

''The mind does not know truly,

aspire sincerely to the supermind.''

*

* *

9 & 10.12.72

Pranam only.

*

* *

11.12.72

My eldest uncle aged 92 has expired at Bhagalpur. His son prays for peace to the departed soul.

Mother inquired and gave a blessing packet for his son.

*

* *

12.12.72

Mother disposed of a family's request to join Auroville.

I placed before Mother the original message of 1st Dec. in French for correction at one place by her own hand.

"The correction will make it untidy, I can write the whole," she said.

But as it was a long thing and there was space for neat correction, she did it on my request.

*

* *

There was a question regarding the postponement of the opening date of the school which is 15th December, the reason being the damage done by the cyclone.

We should try our best to open it on 15th. If it is not possible for some sections, the students also can help in the rearrangement and then we start as soon as we are ready.

Page 251

13.12.72

Pranam.

Offerings handed over.

*

* *

14.12.72

One person in Auroville gets grips of violence to the extent of self-destruction.

Mother said, "It is horrible."

In response to the request for help, she gave a blessings packet with her photo.

Shanti's letter about the school.

For some outside children Mother said that they could go there and participate in what they choose.

About the proposal to have a different physical education programme of integrated activities for suitable children, Mother said, "If you can do it, it is good."

*

* *

Mother said, "What more can I say? I am not active now."

"Mother says that she is not active, but when I put a problem before her to get its solution, even if..."

Mother laughed and said, "It depends on your openness."

*

* *

15.12.72

Offering handed over.

Weekly selection from Sri Aurobindo.

The proposal to hold a Youth Conference on February 26, 27 and 28, 1973, in Auroville, on Towards a New Social Order', inviting two boys and two girls from each University in India, has come from Ramesh Vardya, Bangalore Branch of Sri Aurobindo Society. Sri Aurobindo's Action has published recently Towards a New Social Order.

Mother repeatedly said Yes.

Sri Aurobindo's Action has published several booklets on

Page 252

India. I propose to make a compilation in one book of Sri Aurobindo's writings on this subject.

Mother approved. On request she gave the title 'Sri Aurobindo on India' and wrote it on a card.

She said that I should compile from what Sri Aurobindo wrote in Pondicherry. She asked about the Press for printing the book.

It was left for decision after the compilation gets ready.

*

* *

16.12.72

No work as it was late.

*

* *

17.12.72

Mother's replies:

Everybody has to progress and to become more sincere.

Auroville has been created not for the satisfaction of the egos and their greeds, but for the creation of a new world, the supramental, expressing the Divine perfection.

Everybody is imperfect and has to progress.

Keep firm and confident.

Blessings.

George wishes to work on tree plantation and prays for self-progress.

Mother wrote blessings.

The Aspiration Community should devote two days now to the cleaning work and then every Sunday.

Mother wrote 'Benedictions' on this proposal of Vincenzo.

*

* *

Varadharajan proposes that the provisions for the Workers Kitchen may be supplied to him and he will look after the day-to- day work, without money consciousness.

Mother wrote blessings.

*

* *

Raoul Mercier's letter. He speaks of the attitudes he is facing

Page 253

in the work, like "At Auroville one is free", "One has eternity before oneself", etc.

Mother said, "Haven't I already said that the Aurovilians have to work according to the supramental discipline?"

"Yes, Mother, but they say that regular work is not the supramental way."

"Do they know the supramental?"

"One doesn't know even the illumined mind, but pretends about the supramental."

The person looking after Promesse Maternity has gone away to Bombay with the key of the clinic without informing us. Now there is a case of delivery.

"Open it with another key," said Mother.

"We have already done so."

*

* *

Mother wrote a message (in French).

Auroville has been created for a superhumanity, for those who want to surmount their ego and renounce all desire to prepare themselves for receiving the supermind. They alone are true Aurovilians.

Those who want to obey their ego and satisfy all their desires belong to a sub-humanity and have no place here. They should return to the world which is their true place.

—The Mother

*

* *

19.12.72

Mother disposed of a request to join Auroville.

She wrote a message:

To all those who are telling lies By the simple fact that you are telling lies you prove that you are not true Aurovilians.

If you wish to remain in Auroville you must stop lying.

*

* *

She approved the English translation of yesterday's message.

*

* *

Page 254

20.12.72

Mother gave blessings for Stephan Joss for tree-plantation on new plots.

Letters disposed of.

For one who is not satisfied with Auroville, Mother replied,

"If he is not satisfied with Auroville, it is better for him to go back to the world; it is wide enough."

*

* *

21.12.72

Letters were disposed of.

Reply to one who wanted work from Mother :

"I can give work only to those who have a feeling of responsibility."

Piero has written about the violent threats of K.

I have to communicate Mother's advice to the person concerned, "You must conquer your bad temper."

'Incidentally Mother remarked, "Auroville is not a shelter for murderers."

*

* *

22.12.72

Letters were disposed of.

In reply to Mary Helen's query about the Japanese garden, Mother said, "It is to be naturally in the Japanese way."

*

* *

23.12.72

No time for work.

*

* *

24.12.72

An Ashramite lady's letter was read pointing out shortcomings in Ashramites.

Page 255

Mother remarked, "What she says is true."

*

* *

25.12.72

Informed Mother that

(a)the basketball court at Aspiration is ready;

(b)the new bridge at Utility' is ready;

(c)the new garage between Auroson's Home and Fore-comers will be ready from 1st Jan 73.

Frederick and Peter ask for a name for the garage. Mother wrote Abri.

*

* *

A letter was disposed of.

Also a request to join Auroville.

*

* *

26.12.72

Roger Toll has sent a photo of the four pillars of Matrimandir. Mother took it and asked, "Alors?" So to other items of work.

Letters and requests for joining Auroville were disposed of. Mother wrote to one,

"Silence your mind, and aspire with your heart; if you are sincere you will know."

*

* *

27.12.72

No time for work.

*

* *

28.12.72

There is one Kelemen Tiber in Hungary who was thrown in the pile of the dead at a concentration camp but has been alive. He has been invited by Georgette Coty to come here. A letter of invitation from Auroville will help him. Should it be given?

Page 256

Mother said, "I don't know. But is it not a letter of invitation only?" She added, "It is an interesting case. What do you think?"

"As Mother says, it will be done."

"I can say it will be interesting if he comes and you talk to him."

So the letter will go.

*

* *

The conduct of two Aurovilians was reported.

One of them is asked to leave.

For the other, Mother wrote in French. The English translation is:

To be a true Aurovilian, one must never lie.

I told Mother that recently she has given strong and clear messages for Aurovilians, but each one thinks that it is for the others.

Mother wrote,

"Auroville has been created for those who want to progress, their own progress.

This is written for each one; each one is concerned with himself first."

Mother remarked, "They take their ego for the psychic." She made a further remark which she didn't wish to be reproduced.

*

* *

29.12.72

Piero's letter to Mother. He mentions two points about the Matrimandir construction:-

i) not getting drawings from Madras engineers and Roger,

ii) his ill-health.

Mother gave a blessing packet with Sri Aurobindo's picture. (Regarding drawings I said I am no more hurt as before by these delays although the work suffers.)

*

* *

Bernard and Claude have written a letter to Mother which

Page 257

was read yesterday evening to her by Kireet. She told Kireet that she wished to give him a chance to go to Auroville if he promises to accept what she said in the morning to me and I should speak to her about it this morning. So I spoke to her about it and also narrated the facts known to me.

Mother said, "You all are acting by the mind, one comes and says one thing, another one comes and says another thing, instead of sitting together and agreeing. I do not wish to say anything now, do as..."

"Some time back Mother took a decision that these people are to go back and when Aurokali is of age and wishes to come to Auroville she is free to come."

"Yes, I know."

"Once Mother has taken a decision I cannot change it, I may not understand it. Last evening Kireet spoke to Mother and I was asked to speak about it, so I am speaking, I am putting only the facts, what Mother says will be followed."

"We have been severe to this man, don't you find a change in him?"

"He has not seen me since he was asked to go away, that was a month and a half ago. Mother has seen him yesterday morning."

"Yes, and I feel that there is an aspiration in him, and he can..."

"So he can work either at SAICE here or go to Auroville if Mother gives him a chance."

Kumud intervened and said that Mother has already said 'No' about his work at SAICE.

"He will be at his expense? Auroville is not rich!"

"Perhaps he will. But it will be only for a year, then the expense will come upon Auroville, plus the house building, whereas we have no money for the existing persons."

"Then don't take now persons. But for old ones..."

"Yes, Mother. And if he goes to Auroville, naturally his wife also goes there and of course the child Aurokali."

"His wife also?"

"Naturally, Mother."

"Why? Not that if the wife goes...

" Mother laughed.

"You see, we have been severe with this man and there are so many people in Auroville who deserve to have been sent away,

Page 258

but we are not asking them, they are clever so they are there, so I was feeling hesitant about this man. What about his wife?"

"To me she appears to be lower in the scale. The man is more dynamic and likely to change."

"Yes I too feel so."

"Mother, this is what troubles me. Newcomers are watched by me and those who are not satisfactory are reported to Mother and they go away or are asked to go away. But what about the old ones? They set examples."

"They are bad examples."

"I was asked to be strict about newcomers, but what about the old ones? These who are here since two three years can not be asked to go and they do not change and the trouble is there."

"So you are conscious of it. What I am doing is that I am putting a pressure on them to change."

"Yes, Mother, that is the radical solution; by the pressure of the Mother's force they should change. But it takes time, and in the meantime it affects the progress of Auroville even in the physical. Even where these are one or two good persons the thing works and there is a good atmosphere; where it is not so, in spite of facilities the thing does not work. If these people are there, we have to have a very slow progress."

"So unlimited patience is needed."

"Yes, Mother."

"What I can do, and I am doing it, is that I am putting a tremendous pressure for change. (Mother shows her fist) Those who can not bear it will go away. Yes, I am doing it, but it will not have a quick result, not even some months, but this is what I am doing, and not any exterior means."

"Yes, Mother."

*

* *

30.12.72

Pranam.

31.12.72

Mother's message to 'Toujours Mieux'( Always Better) for its foundation tomorrow.

Page 259

In all sincerity

our aspiration needs to be

"Always Better".

Near Auroson's Home we have started constructing three pucca residential houses. Yusuf's will be ready tomorrow for occupation.

Mother touched the key as blessings and gave a blessing packet.

Mother turned each page of Savitra's brochure on Auroville.

Page 260

III

1973

1.1.73

Offerings handed over.

*

* *

2.1.73

In reply to a letter asking for a word of guidance in relation to the outside world, Mother wrote,

"At the service of the Divine

in full receptivity and sincerity."

*

* *

Auroville children can be vaccinated.

*

* *

Letters disposed of.

Narad can write an article on the Matrimandir Nursery for the

Lalbagh journal, but he should not quote Mother unless it is in writing.

*

* *

3.1.73

An offering handed over.

*

* *

Rs 50000 have been received. It enables us to start paying wages and for food.

*

* *

Page 261

Roger proposes a collective meditation for the French T V. It can be done on 6.1.73 at sunset with the first concreting at the Matrimandir area ampitheatre.

Approved.

It is also proposed to put the fresh plate of Mother's writing 28.2.68 in place of the destroyed one in the urn.

Mother says that it could be done on 28.2.73.

*

* *

4.1.73

Offerings handed over.

*

* *

Requests for joining Auroville disposed of.

*

* *

A one-line letter was read,

"...Yet how much patience is needed..."

Mother smiled. She uttered just one word, "Patience".

*

* *

5.1.73

Letters were disposed of.

In reply to a question about the way to open the psychic and bring it to the front, Mother wrote,

"Aspiration addressed to the Supreme.

Let all in me be always at your service."

(In fact, the request was made for a short way for which Mother commented, "Oh, a short way, that is not possible".)

*

* *

6.1.73

Pranam.

Page 262

7.1.73

Requests for admission to Auroville and Prosperity were disposed of.

Anthony Nightingale is leaving Auroville as he says that he is unable to adapt himself to the life here.

Mother remarked, "It is better that he goes."

*

* *

8.1.73

A child born in Auroville is going to the Aspiration school. Two persons say that Mother does not like it.

Mother says, "I haven't said so. What I didn't like was his not wanting to see me when I was told that he did not want to come to see me."

*

* *

Nowadays many requests are coming for joining Auroville. But most of them are not acceptable to us. Is each case to be referred to Mother?

Mother said, "No."

"We will refer cases where we have doubt or where we accept."

"Yes."

"And before accepting, I am now giving them a chance of two to three weeks to see Auroville and choose their work and settle their financial position, otherwise they say something but forget it when Mother's approval comes."

"Have I not said that the first condition to live in Auroville is not to tell a lie?"

"Yes, and Mother has on several occasions recently written on truth and explained about it."

"Show it to them."

"Yes, Mother, but they call me a policeman when I do so." "You can tell them", Mother said laughing, "that you are Mother's policeman." After a pause Mother said,

"There is no need to build another ordinary city in Auroville; already there are so many. If people are like that, it will become

*

* *

Page 263

an ordinary city and our money and efforts will be wasted. You have to be strict. If they say, well, they will say so easily, that they wish to change, they can be there if they are sincere."

*

* *

9.1.72

Ananda Reddy's questions were answered.

Q. Should we send to you all the applications for admission to the school for your decision? A. No.

Q. How should we consider applications from the neighbouring villages?

A. Shyam Sunder to decide doing his best.

Q. Should we consider the admission of outside children who do not belong to Aurovilian families?

A. No.

Q. On what conditions of work we take in teachers to our school?

A. Sincerity, full- time work, capability.

Q. Should they also not be approved by you?

A. Better.

*

* *

10.1.73

Signature and blessings.

*

* *

11.1.73

Offering handed over.

Rs 12000 have come for Auroville.

Mother remarked that what she speaks should not be printed, only what she writes can be printed.

Gave an outline of the compilation Sri Aurobindo on India.

Mother approved of the printing in All India Press.

*

* *

Page 264

12.1.73

Signature.

Kamoo has taken away Promesse Maternity things.

She should be asked to return the Maternity's things and not allowed to take further things.

Mother spoke in a tone of disgust about the lies going around, and said, "What can I do? Some people come and say one thing, others come and say another thing, and get contradictory answers. I do not remember things now and people take advantage of it and say lies, what they like."

"If Mother chooses not to remember things, is it not more of our duty to be correct in putting facts before her?"

"I do not remember; I am made not to remember; I am in such a position for a reason, so that people take more care, be more conscientious. I do not remember, but there is an acute...(gesture of sensatiri) by which I know..."

*

* *

13.1.73

Signature on a cheque.

Mother has written to Kamoo to return the Maternity things.

Udar's remarks were placed before Mother.

*

* *

14.1.73

Offering.

Kamoo has not returned the things. A long story of lies. Physical violence was used by G and M to push Indra out of his house and Kamoo assisted them in it.

Mother said, "What to do?"

After a pause, she said, "Something has to be done." I told Mother that Kamoo will be now coming to her for her birthday.

"I do not wish to see people who tell lies", she remarked, and it was decided that she will not see Kamoo until the Maternity things are returned by her.

Page 265

15.1.73

Some persons in Auroville propose making of films from Auroville life.

Mother said, "I do not permit unless I know that it is good."

"I can do one of two things. I can ask them to give an outline and I can place it before Mother. Or I can ask them to produce one film and then it can be reported to Mother after seeing it."

"Or to wait," said Mother.

*

* *

The list of teachers in the Aspiration Kindergarden section was put up. One person was disapproved. One new request was not objected to.

*

* *

16.1.73

Gloria's letter. Report of misconduct of two children.

Mother said, "It is incredible!"

*

* *

17.1.73

The Dalai Lama arrives tomorrow. His programme in the Ashram and Auroville was read out. His seating arrangement, when he comes to Mother, was finalised.

*

* *

Mother signed a note about some persons in Auroville.

*

* *

18.1.73

Mother held the Sincerity flower for a time in concentration and kept it.

*

* *

19.1.73

Informed Mother of the Dalai Lama's visit to Auroville. When he was told that there is no Tibetan in Matrimandir Workers' Camp, he has remarked, "We will join."

Page 266

Letters and requests for joining Auroville were disposed of.

Some work is to be given to Malik.

*

* *

20.1.73

Malik suggests a work which was given to him by Mother as her choice. She said, "Now it is too late."

The following works were approved for him:

i.Import, export and customs

ii.Water supply

iii.Brochure with advertisements on 28.2.73—Fund for Auroville.

Some persons in Aspiration wish to start a new kitchen.

It can be tried in the Youth Camp.

A letter was answered.

*

* *

21.1.73

Request for admission disposed of.

*

* *

Letter of Auroville Association, Paris. Gilbert Gauche wishes to stay there. They have to consult Andre.

Another letter disposed of.

A teacher in Aspiration School asks, "Any other role or work?" Shanti also.

Mother said, "If they do thoroughly well what they are doing, there is enough to do."

*

* *

22.1.73

The Madras engineers working upon the architectural design of Matrimandir say, "What is the assurance that there will be no further change?"

Page 267

Mother said that Roger had not informed her of the changes.

She approves that I tell them through Chamanlal that there will be no further change without mutual consent.

To one of the letters she replied,

"My help is silent." To another,

"We have nothing to hide."

For a request for a new name, the reply was,

"I don't give names."

She gave answers about producing children and abortion, but did not wish them to be printed.

*

* *

23.1.73

Mother signed a cheque and gave a blessing packet.

A letter was read.

The names of school teachers were put up.

Two are asked to improve.

Industries in Auroville should pay for Aurovilians if they are prospering. If any industry is in difficulty, I have not to ask for it.

Kamoo gets back the crockery for which she pays Rs 300.

*

* *

24.1.73

Pranam

*

* *

25.1.73

Mother signed a postal order and some papers.

Letters disposed of.

Laura has not kept her word about work.

She has to leave.

*

* *

Page 268

26.1.73

Mother gave TVS cheque for Rs 25000 for Matrimandir.

Chamanlal's letter about his visit to Madras for Matrimandir work. We have said that no major change will be done in the design without mutual consultation.

It is better for Jacques to leave Auroville as he is not happy there. His request to join Auroville is not accepted.

*

* *

27.1.73

Pranam only.

*

* *

28.1.73

Mother wrote for Carlo Schueller,

"Do for the best. My love and blessings are always with you," and asked me to write to him to not to take them as mere words but in the deepest sense.

Mother gave a blessing packet for a sick child.

*

* *

29.1.73

Letters were disposed of.

Narad's letter about working with the plants through music, prayer, meditation and other new ways. Mother's remark,

"I don't understand...how can meditation work with the plants?"

Aurofood is not on Auroville land. Nor is it contributing anything to Auroville in money or by produce. Is it correct to include Aurofood in Auroville brochures? (Mother nodded negatively.) Even Roger asked the television team to go to Aurofood.

Mother remarked,

"When they are having Auroville's name, they should com tribute at least something to Auroville."

Page 269

"Manibhai has offered personally big amounts to Mother."

"That cannot be doubted."

*

* *

30.1.73

Letters disposed of.

Dennis writes, "In Auroville at this time there is very little love, trust, collaboration, aspiration. There is much doubt, distrust, waste divisiveness. I see this in myself and it seems to be a general condition in Auroville now. I wish there was some concrete way for all of us in Auroville to place ourselves as a collectivity before You, exactly as we are, and in all sincerity call upon You to help and guide us to become whatever it is we must become...

" The answer Mother gave was one of her messages,

"Mother is with all those who are sincere in their aspiration towards a divine life."

Laura gets a final chance to stay in Auroville.

Santosh Chakrabarty, retired Judge of Calcutta High Court, wants Auroville work.

Law matters and important correspondence approved.

*

* *

31.1.73

Pranam.

*

* *

1.2.73

Renate's letter was read.

Mother wants to have more details about the difference in the behaviour of the Tibetan and non-Tibetan children. In a way everyone is different.

Mother did not give names for a personal business and a village teashop.

A request for seeing Mother for 'spiritual progress' was not answered.

Page 270

2-4.2.73

Pranam.

*

* *

5.2.73

Shraddhalu writes, "I feel inclined to do a new work, but I should like you to give me one so that I can really do it as Karma Yoga." He is drawn towards Auropolyester work where his knowledge of chemistry can be used.

Mother's reply,

"It is not the work that you do but the spirit in which you are doing it that makes Karmayoga."

*

* *

6.2.73

Requests to join Auroville disposed of.

In response to Renate's letter suggesting change in guidance and residence from Pondicherry to Aspiration, Mother said that it is better to do so.

Chamanlal's letter.

If the Commonwealth Human Ecology Council accepts the rules of Auroville and asks for it, there can be its counterpart unit in Auroville.

*

* *

7.2.73

Letters of Mireille, Diane and Huta were disposed of.

*

* *

8.2.73

I put some questions to Mother which she answered.

Q. "One must never lie", does this requirement apply only to Aurovilians or also to the Ashramites who wish to work for Auroville?"

Page 271

A. This condition applies to all, to all those who have goodwill and want to progress.

Q. Has Mother given to Udar a general authority to intervene in the Auroville affairs?

A. No. But one must enlarge oneself to serve the Divine, get rid of the ego, not cling to the sense of authority, and one should work with him.

*

* *

10.2.73

An architect writes again about the problem of economic level differences in Auroville construction. She now finds that it is due to lack of faith and says, "From the moment you have accepted a project, the correct attitude in my drawing work must be to be silent so that in silence we may receive Thy force and understand Thy will, with the total confidence that the new consciousness itself will find the exact place for each thing and for each person."

Mother said, "It is alright" and gave a blessings packet with her photo.

*

* *

Claude Milami has to go.

*

* *

11.2.73

Shanti's letter is answered.

i.Shraddhavan can take up the administrative work of the school.

ii.Yvonne can talk to outside people in Auroville.

iii.Roger is the architect. If anyone is not willing to use what he makes, there will be others to use it.

iv.Yvonne's exercises in consciousness— people should use discrimination.

Whenever there is disharmony, be sure that it does not come from the Divine Will; it comes from the ego.

*

* *

Page 272

12.2.73

Letter of Narad regarding tree plantation around Matrimandir.

"Roger wants me to begin this work soon...I am empty of all ideas. .I humbly wish to serve Thee in the new way...but I cannot proceed in the old manner..."

Mother said that the execution of the Matrimandir Gardens has been already told in detail to Roger. That is what is to be done.

I have to remind Roger about the living place for Huta.

Mother's remark about certain instances in Auroville,

"They have in the name of liberty taken abominable licentiousness."

*

* *

13.2.73

Mother approves of my draft reply to Narad.

Letters answered.

Blessings for one, a mantra for another.

Requests for joining Auroville are disposed of.

Rs 75000 arrived yesterday to save the situation.

*

* *

14.2.73

Chernet has sent fresh biscuits made again at Aspiration. Asks for a name.

"If they are good", said Mother, "Aspiration Biscuit".

The biscuits are given to Champaklal, Kumud, Purna and Udar. Udar says, "It is good."

About a two year old child bitten by a stray dog, Mother said that autopsy should have been done.

*

* *

15.2.73

Mother wrote the name Aspiration Biscuit.

Page 273

In answer to a query Mother wrote,

Auroville is not a place for politics;

no politics must be done in Auroville

and in the offices of Auroville.

Mother remarked,

"People are becoming very disobedient."

Hedi, who manages the Hope kitchen, left suddenly for a few days saying that she will not be here for some days.

When she comes, she is to be told, "Sorry, there is no work for you."

Mireille's letter.

Mother said, "If she is not happy, let her go back."

*

* *

16.2.73

Letter from Shyama and Howard. They propose to start a Rose Nursery at Auroson's Home and plant on Mother's birthday 95 Surrender rose bushes as offering. If approved, they want a name and time.

Mother wrote the name 'Roses'.

Time 6.30 a.m.

Sheldon's letter about finance for television was placed.

17.2.73

Mother gave blessings for offerings received and signed a cheque.

For a person asking for training from Mother for a certain matter, Mother said that she cannot give it mentally, it is to be received inwardly.

*

* *

18.2.73

Vegetables from Hermitage offered.

Page 274

To the Bhatt couple, confused due to difficulties in the soap industry, suggesting sale of the unit at Pondicherry and change to Auromodel, Mother replied, "If you run away from difficulties, you will have to run away from life."

Mother does not like the change. She remarked, "Life, everywhere, is full of difficulties."

Gordon and Jeanne feel fatigued and propose to shift to the sea beach.

Not approved. Mother's remark, "Why fatigued?" A letter was read.

"I do not reply to vague letters", said Mother. "Is there anything precise in it?"

"No, Mother."

*

* *

19.2.73

Handkerchiefs from Bhavani offered.

Aspiration Bakery has started regular production. A loaf offered to Mother.

Rs 50000 are brought by Navajata for Auroville. Rs 10000 are given to Auroville by Aurocreation.

Mother will not be the President of the Auroville Association, Santa Cruz. There are legal obligations.

June Maher and others will be in the Board of Directors.

*

* *

20.2.73

Offerings and blessings.

Applications for admission to Auroville disposed of.

*

* *

21.2.73

Offerings handed over.

'Sri Aurobindo on India' is out as an Action publication. Mother signs a copy and gives it to me.

Page 275

22.2.73

Vishwanath's consultancy for Bharatniwas is approved.

Reorganisation of Udavi and its charge is given again to Nata.

"He has spoken to me", said Mother.

*

* *

23.2.73

Offerings and blessings.

No answer for Auroarindam who has come for a fortnight and wants to know if Mother will see him.

*

* *

24.2.73

No time left for work.

*

* *

25.2.73

Alain Grandcolas has proposed a programme for 28.2.73 : 5.30 to 6 a.m. Huta's paintings on Savitri, Book One, Canto One;

Placing of the plate '28.2.1968' on the urn;

Concreting.

Mother approved it.

No reply about his suggestion that Shyam Sunder or Ruud Lohman should place the plate on the urn, unless Mother thinks of someone else, except the remark, "One should collaborate".

*

* *

Matrimandir folders. The suggestion for drawing the lucky number for the Sri Aurobindo Centenary set prize, although we have not sold a lac as yet, was not approved. The financial position of the folders was put before Mother.

*

* *

Mother explained to me the difference, in course of reply to a question, between her approving something and wanting something to be done.

Page 276

"lt is of tremendous importance when I want something to be done."

*

* *

26.2.73

There is a proposal that the Commonwealth Human Ecology Council Conference should be held in Auroville. Mother says,

"Why in Auroville? I don't see why it should be in Auroville. Auroville does not belong to the past knowledge."

*

* *

27.2.73

Letters disposed of.

Mother nodded approval of the idea of a corner of display of children's products at Aspiration on 'pay according to what you wish' basis.

*

* *

28.2.73

Offerings.

Offering of the first tomato from the vegetable garden at the Centre, from Tom and Maggie.

In response to Kiran's letter Mother agrees to see Auroville school children on their birthdays in group.

Mother gave blessings for the second year of the Meteorological station.

Mother approves of Guru Pershad for Auroconstruction with the drawings of Roger.

*

* *

1.3.73

Letters disposed of.

Auroarindam to go to America for work there ( he is not to be in Auroville).

Page 277

Dawn is not to go to live in Auroville.

Requests for admission to Auroville disposed of.

*

* *

2.3.73

Mother wrote Blessings on the name- card of Sri Aurobindo Society Nederland.

Letters disposed of.

MichealKlostermann writes about a new information magazine on Auroville to be started by the Friends of Auroville in Germany. Matter to be prepared by him in collaboration with Carlo Schuller. To be printed at Aufopress.

If Friends of Auroville pay for it, it is approved.

*

* *

3.3.73

Sri Aurobindo's Action's Hindi booklet Manavata Ka Bhavishya was handed over to Mother.

*

* *

4.3.73

There are people in Auroville who say that it is against the spirit of Auroville when I ask people there to work or when I allot work to them.

Mother wrote a message,

Auroville is still in the state of elaboration, and those who want to remain there have to collaborate to its erection according to the plans made and to be made, approved by me and signed by Shyam Sunder.

*

* *

An incident of an Aurovilian lying was reported.

"Auroville is not a place for liars", Mother remarked.

*

* *

5.3.73

Requests for admission to Auroville disposed of.

Page 278

Letters dealt with.

Aster writes about Prem Kirpal's visit.

We can report to Mother when something concrete emerges from his visit.

*

* *

Mother laid stress on the need of union with the Divine Will, working according to it, unity among us, the aspiration for progress, not to see things from the mind.

"Even I am progressing but it is different," remarked Mother.

"When the Divine wants me to speak something, I speak. I speak what the Divine tells me to speak." Another remark.

*

* *

6.3.73

No reply for Dawn's letter.

Vikas proposes that twelve white doves be kept in the Matrimandir area and trained to make this their home.

Mother remarked, "I was thinking whether they will be taken care of."

"Perhaps it is not the time for it," I suggested.

"Yes."

*

* *

7.3.73

Pranam.

*

* *

8.3.73

As a result of the release of the television film on Auroville in France, we have received a number of inquiries. A personal contact seems to be necessary. Andre' is in Paris. If Mother approves, he could sort these out.

Mother says yes.

A letter disposed of.

The difficult financial position of Auroville was placed before Mother. Also my feeling that in spite of it, Auroville has not to stagnate but to go on developing.

Page 279

Mother nodded yes.

I also acquainted her with how I am trying to arrange things. She said, 'it is alright", and concentrated.

*

* *

9.3.73

In reply to Shanti's letter, Mother said 12th March for opening the workshop at Aspiration for children. No name was given.

*

* *

Some persons at Aspiration are getting bad dreams indicating destruction at that place. Mother gave a blessings packet.

She wanted to give as many packets as there were dreamers, but I did not know the number.

*

* *

10—12.3.73

Pranam only.

*

* *

13.3.73

The difficulties created by the Lands Ceiling Act were placed before Mother.

At one stage she asked, "Can we have a garden with each house?"

*

* *

Letters and a request for joining Auroville disposed of.

When informed of two pregnancies, Mother remarked, "Do people in Auroville believe that I desire children?"

14.3.73 Pranam.

*

* *

Page 280

15.3.73

Mother disposed of requests for joining Auroville, Prosperity and letters.

Norman is approved to manage and look after the Auroville vehicles at Pondicherry.

*

* *

16—17.3.93

Pranam.

*

* *

18.3.73

A request for Prosperity was answered in the negative.

Mother remarked, "The first condition is not to tell a lie and this person started with a big lie."

First Mother wanted to write, "No liars in Auroville" or "No lies in Auroville," but then she wrote,

Auroville will become what it must be, only if and when the people living there will stop lying.

*

* *

A request for joining Auroville was not approved.

One person in Aspiration gave up a work, for which he had taken a name from Mother, without asking anyone and closed it.

I asked him, "When you got a work from Mother, was it proper for you to give it up without referring it to her?"

"Yes," he replied.

"Was it correct according to the spiritual discipline of Mother?" "Yes."

And now he has written me a four page letter in criticism of mental morality, of people in Pondicherry, of Auroville architecture, stating that he has acted from inner guidance.

Mother made a remark and asked me to tell it to him, "The guidance can come also from the ego-devil".

Page 281

She concentrated, made some remarks, and then wrote,

"When you say I want to serve the Divine, do you believe the

All-Knowing does not know that it is a lie?"

and asked me to show it to him.

"There is no way", was one of her remarks.

*

* *

19.3.73

Mother approved of the setting up of 'Auro-Tibetan Handicrafts' by Katak.

Mahesh Vepari and Uma can have the delivery of their second child at Auroville. They will pay for the expenses.

*

* *

20.3.73

The Auroville Balance Sheet figures for 1972 were put up.

Mother was inquiring about the lands.

*

* *

21.3.73

Pranam.

*

* *

22.3.73

Yesterday a dispensary has been opened by Nata and Satyabrata at Udavi for the benefit of the villagers.

Nata has two more programmes for execution: incense making and weaving.

*

* *

Due to financial difficulties I have asked Narad to confine himself to an expense of Rs 500 per month for the gardens. Last year it was more than double of it. Even this 500/- is not sure to be continued. Narad is thinking of going to America to bring money.

Mother asked, "Is there someone else to carry on the work here?"

"Yes."

Page 282

"He can go."

*

* *

Louise Forjette is not working.

"Perhaps she does not know how to work."

"She may be left as she is and I forget about it, or she may be told that if she does not work she is a burden on Auroville as she is at Auroville's expense and she may go."

"Tell her and let us see."

Shanti's letter.

"Those parents who are not satisfied may take away their children," remarked Mother.

Shanti was asked to organise the education at Aspiration.

"That is how the things are to be", remarked Mother.

A request for joining Auroville was not granted.

*

* *

23.3.73

A request for joining Auroville disposed of.

A person in Auroville wishes to make babies for Auroville.

"Do they believe that I want babies in Auroville?... You tell them that it is not so. A way is found for taking birth differently. We do not want babies by the ordinary way."

*

* *

24.3.73

Mother endorsed a cheque and signed a resolution for a Bank account.

*

* *

25.3.73

Pranam.

*

* *

26.3.73

Yesterday I had been to Tanjore to see the lawyer specialising in the Land Ceiling laws. Spoke to Mother about his helpful

Page 283

opinion in relation to Auroville. Each house with its own garden was also one of his suggestions.

Informed Mother of the FAO grant application position. Guido in Italy is being asked to follow it up.

A request to join Auroville was approved.

*

* *

27.3.73

A request for Prosperity approved.

Mother disposed of a letter and wrote a message:

Auroville is created to realise the ideal of Sri Aurobindo who taught us the Karma Yoga. Auroville is for those who want to do the Yoga of work.

To live in Auroville means to do the Yoga of work. So all Aurovilians must take up a work and do it as Yoga.

She also mentioned a letter from Sri Aurobindo read yesterday about the importance of work.

*

* *

28.3.73

Mother signed papers.

*

* *

29.3.73

Offered seven copies of the brochure ' Auroville, Model of Human Unity', prepared by Vijay.

Mother turned it page by page and asked, "Good?"

"Yes, Mother."

*

* *

30.3.73

Rs 50000 are received from a friend of Palkhivala. The amount goes for food expenses.

One lac rupees are sanctioned by the Tamilnadu Government for the State pavilion in Bharatniwas.

Page 284

Mother signed Blessings on the First Annual Sports programme of the Kuilapalayam village children in Aspiration.

A question is raised about the village children. Will they go to Aspiration School after the pre-school or should there be an independent school for them?

"Why division?", remarked Mother. "There should be unification."

Mother spoke of the need of collaboration in the Ashram. To speak ill elsewhere of a person in the Ashram amounts to treachery to Mother. One should keep the mouth shut in such cases.

*

* *

31.3.73

Pranam.

*

* *

1.4.73

Pranam.

*

* *

2—3.4.73

Mother did not see us.

*

* *

4—18.4.73

Pranam.

*

* *

19.4.73

"Nothing?"

"No, Mother."

*

* *

20.4.73

No pranam.

*

* *

Page 285

21.4.73

Pranam.

*

* *

22.4.73

Pranam.

"That is all?"

*

* *

23.4.73

Informed Mother of the opening of the Handmade Paper Unit fixed for tomorrow at 7 a.m. Trial production starts; regular production in two weeks.

Mother gave blessings.

Tomorrow we also commence the village children sports programme at Kottakarai.

*

* *

24—25.4.73

Pranam.

*

* *

26.4.73

Informed Mother of the willingness of the Tamilnadu Government to consider Auroville's request for exemption under the Land Ceilings Act for further purchases of land.

*

* *

27.4.73

Mother did not approve of the conversion of Sri Aurobindo's Action into a fortnightly.

*

* *

28.4.73

Pranam.

*

* *

Page 286

29.4.73

"You have nothing to say?"

"Today there is nothing, Mother."

*

* *

30.4.73 Pranam.

*

* *

1.5.73

Auroville has two horses and Frederick, who is a good horse-rider, wishes to know whether he can start a programme of horse-riding.

"Why?"

"May be interesting."

"Is it difficult?"

"No."

"From where did the horses come?"

"Some Aurovilians bought them."

"If he likes."

"Are the horses good? It depends on that."

"It is said that the horses are good."

"One will see."

*

* *

2-3.5.73

Pranam.

*

* *

4.5.73

Madanlal Himatsingka's letter regarding funds for Matrimandir. He feels that he should work for it.

Mother says,

"Very good. I am happy over the proposal. All my force is with you."

5.5.73

Pranam.

Page 287

6.5.73

Offering handed over to Mother.

She gave blessings for Dinesh and Guido for the Matrimandir fund work.

*

* *

7.5.73

Three Tamil villagers wish to join Auroville. They are good. Approved.

*

* *

8—10.5.73

Pranam.

*

* *

11.5.73

"It goes on?"

"Yes, Mother, it goes on."

*

* *

12—13.5.73

Pranam.

*

* *

14.5.73

Informed Mother of the two wells at Fertile and 2-Banyans now supplying water and the programme of starting two more.

*

* *

15—18.5.73

Pranam.

*

* *

19.5.73

Informed Mother about the commencement of the construction of Matrimandir above the four pillars.

*

* *

Page 288

20.5.73

A letter. The writer is not happy at Auroville. He requests Mother for her help to be happy and to progress.

"Why is he not happy?"

"He does not know."

"I give this [taking out a blessings packet with Sri Aurobindo's photo] with Sri Aurobindo."

*

* *

P.S.

1996

My diary notes end with my last visit to Mother. Twenty-three years have gone by since.

I remember that era of my visits to Mahasaraswati. Her love, her training, her urge for progress, her helping hand, her solicitude and toil for me, for Auroville, for all.

I remember her holding my hands in hers before I would leave. My hands would carry the smell of the perfume from hers, and something more would go within...

Page 289