My Savitri work with the Mother

01 January 1961

It was a fine morning—1st January 1961. I went to the Samadhi for pranam. The fragrance of flowers and aroma of incense sticks permeated the air. People were sitting near the Samadhi in utter silence. After climbing the staircase to the north of the Samadhi, I sat in the corridor. A few people were already there. A swish of the Mother's elegant gown caught my ears. I looked up. Her mouth quivered in a fleeting smile as she crossed the corridor, leaving a trail of her French perfume, and entered Pavitra's (P. B. Saint-Hilaire's) study. The Mother announced the New Year message, first in French and then in English:

1961.

This wonderful world of delight
waiting at our gates for our call,
to come down upon earth...

Then she played on the organ. Her music drew us into meditation.

In connection with her photograph "Realisation", which the Mother gave me in December 1960, she has revealed the following:

This world of Delight above us is waiting- not for us to be ready but for us to accept, for us to consent to receive it!

This is what I am looking at in this photograph. In fact, this is what I am pulling down.

In the afternoon the Mother distributed calendars to all of us with her blessings.

As always the Mother gave me diaries to write my journal. At night, when everything was hushed, I opened one of them. I wrote: "I do not know what is hidden behind the mask of the approaching months. Everything seems frightfully hazy." A subtle fear crept on me. There were countless defects lying in the dark nooks and corners of my subconscient, which had to come under the Mother's Light and change. It was not easy to tackle the obscure, obstinate and rock-like subconscient. A cold tremor ran through my body.

After all, human beings have a sprinkle of saint and sinner in them. The Mother pointed out to me my numerous defects and faults directly and indirectly to make me collaborate totally with her work in me. Since I was conscious, I was desperate to improve and convert myself. But unfortunately the psychological struggle and setbacks were so acute that many a time I could not think straight. I was abysmally ignorant.