My Savitri work with the Mother

19 December 1964

On 19th December 1964 the Mother wrote when I sent the sketches of Book Five, Canto 3:

The sketches are all right. I have retouched the sari of Savitri which looked a little like a balloon. Otherwise it is very good.

I expect a fine inspiration for the painting.

With all my love

Here, the Mother retouched, with a pencil on the canvas board itself, the sketch which I had done at home. The Mother gave me a hint while writing:

I expect a fine inspiration...

When I showed her the last nine paintings, she did not seem very pleased with them except for the last one. She said of it:

It is nice and full of feeling.

I got down to redoing all the paintings which the Mother had rejected. I concentrated fully on her instructions.

If the paintings were not being done with deep contemplation, true consciousness, real feeling, sincerity, right attitude and proper understanding, the Mother rejected them totally without any hesitation. Then I had to do them all over again on new canvas boards.

Not a single Savitri painting remains untouched by the Mother.

When Satyavan and Savitri were supposed to embrace each other, I asked the Mother how I could show that in painting. A spark of humour appeared in her eyes. She smiled and said jokingly with a gesture of her two hands:

Show their arms around each other..

And she laughed softly. I knew at once that she was obviously testing my artistic taste, refinement and the state of my consciousness. I said seriously:

I can certainly paint it like that, but it will not look nice—it will be most physical and material, while here we are showing the spiritual union of the two divine Beings in all purity of perfection.

If you will approve, then I would like to show only their heads in white and gold flames. They meet in the highest Consciousness. What about that?

She spread her hands and said joyously:

Ha! That is it, this is what it should be.

Then she looked deeply into my eyes with a happy smile.

I knew all too well why I could not get the feeling, inspiration and right vibrations which I had been used to. It was because I had taken help from one of the artists who had drawn for me on the boards the position of Satyavan and Savitri when they had met. He was realistic and had his own mental formations and theories, while I was doing something more subtle and giving only impressions according to the Mother's guidance. I regretted to have taken help from him without the Mother's knowledge. But later I confessed before her. She only smiled because she knew that I could never adopt anybody's technique except her own. She had actually steeped me in her art and method, so my true being refused to accept anything else. This I realised concretely.

Now, in addition to all this aid I took from the artist, a woman used to barge into my house without informing me beforehand. She would come especially when I was completely absorbed in my work. At times she invited some people to my house without my knowledge to see the paintings of Savitri. Naturally I was annoyed and disturbed because the link of the inspiration broke. On top of this I was still not feeling too well.

This was the first time the Mother rejected so many paintings. Otherwise, she used to ask me to redo one or two. The Mother once told me:

Child, I am watching your every step—I follow you constantly on the path towards your goal.

No wonder she knew each and every side of my movements. And while I was doing the paintings of Savitri, she was very particular about everything I did.