My Savitri work with the Mother

28 October 1964

She wrote on 28th October,

Let the inspiration come through by remaining a moment very quiet before painting and the pictures will be quite nice.

Also she wrote, when I sent a few more sketches:

The sketches are quite good—nice inspiration for the paintings.

And she knew how I felt. Actually, I was not feeling very well so the whole week I could not get in tune with the inspiration, and it was impossible to paint. The following week I went to the Mother without the paintings. As far as I remember, it was the first time I went to her like this, and I realised how much my work had suffered! For, I could not possibly afford to waste my time in any way.

Now my situation has become such that I have to adjust my time according to my work. When I think of the past years and see how I have wasted my time, energy and consciousness I simply shudder. I am grateful to the Mother that she made me realise the value of time and so many other things.

If I had not undergone those hideous difficulties, disappointments and sufferings, I would have never understood what truth and reality lay behind my life. Everything was quite essential for my whole being. The Mother has truly shaped the being in spite of all my defects.

When I was submerged in the ocean of art, I forgot my existence. Sometimes I was so much engrossed in my work that I forgot to use my handkerchief to wipe my face or nose although I had a heavy cold. Instead of using the handkerchief, I used rags for my face and the handkerchief to wipe the brushes! My full concentration used to be on painting and nothing else. After finishing the work, when I went to clean the brushes and glanced at the mirror I was horrified to see my face with several patches of different colours adding a rainbow-glory to it! My hair was dishevelled.

Also sometimes while doing painting, I started feeling suffocated because of some heaviness in the heart—especially while doing the most tragic paintings. Besides the inner churning, outer struggle and sufferings were incessant. All this brought tears to my eyes. With one hand I was painting and with the other wiping my eyes.

The Mother's strides were getting longer and quicker. At times it was difficult to keep pace with her. I got exhausted. There were days when nothing existed for me except the mission of finishing the task I carried in my heart. To work with the Mother was not an easy thing. I had to pay a heavy price for it. I had to be faithful, straightforward, sincere and conscious all the time.

Up to Book Four, The Book of Birth and Quest, the Mother did practically all the sketches save a few; but later on, from Book Five—The Book of Love, she did only a few sketches by means of outlines with pencil on sheets of paper in order to explain to me and to give me ideas.

After I had seen the vision of beautiful colours and exquisite beings during my paintings of Book Six—The Book of Fate, the Mother left the colour schemes to me, so that I could express all that I had seen in harmony. But, in fact, whenever I was confused, whenever it was necessary, the Mother would not fail to explain to me the colours and forms, etc, in detail. This was the perfect harmony and happy interchange with our inner beings and the spiritual consciousness. I learned not only apparent things but the true inner things.