Sri Aurobindo : corresp.
THEME/S
PREFACE TO THE PHYSICAL
In this second volume of letters, there is frequent reference to words such as inertia and tamas. Here these words are not intended to mean 'fatigue', 'lethargy' or 'unwillingness to act 'physically or mentally'. To understand properly the exact nature or character of tamas it would be good to know a little of the sadhana that was going on during that period.
In the year 1935 the general sadhana of Sri Aurobindo's Yoga had descended into the physical. So we all had to come down from the mental and vital into this darker field. To many sadhaks it was rather a premature descent as their mental and vital were not sufficiently prepared for this entry into an obscure plane. So the physical used to send up wave after wave of its inertia to cover up any higher or deeper activity of the sadhana. As Sri Aurobindo pointed out to me, "The principle of tamas is inertia, aprakasa (obscurity) and apravrti (non-activity) shown here by being unable to keep the prakasa (light) or the higher consciousness or answer continuously to the activity of sadhana." In another letter he explained the fundamental cause of the rise of inertia: "This negation is the very nature of the physical resistance and the physical resistance is the whole base of the denial of the Divine in the world. All in the physical is persistent, obstinate, with a massive force of negation and inertia."
Later on, the sadhana descended still lower: "The most material has come up or you have gone into it." And as
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if this was not quite enough the subconscient too did not stay out of the battle. As Sri Aurobindo pointed out, "The subconscient difficulty is the difficulty now—because the whole struggle in the general sadhana is now there. It is in the subconscient, no longer in the vital or conscious physical that the resistance is massed together."
This triple resistance brought into full play the three most obstinate and insistent minds at work in human nature: the physical mind, the mechanical mind and the subconscient mind. They often worked in conjunction, sometimes in two's and sometimes singly, but in such a powerful and complicated way that it was a problem to find out which one. or two, of the three were in prominence. They always tried to cover, or at least colour, any good movement of the mind or the vital being or of the enlightened physical.
The tamas or inertia did not actually tire me physically or mentally. All along I was carrying on about eight hours of physical work and two to four hours of mental work. But psychologically it influenced me heavily in any spiritual pursuits.
This difficulty becomes more complicated when one is made to deal with the second aspect of physical Nature, namely the universal. For this recurring movement, once more let me quote a letter of Sri Aurobindo's, written to another disciple. However, it should be noted that here he speaks only of one mind, the physical mind, and not of the mechanical and subconscient minds which are much more difficult to manage and master:
"It is the nature of the physical mind to be obstinate. Physical nature exists by constant repetition of the same thing — only a constant presentation of different forms of itself. This obstinate recurrence is therefore part of its
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nature when it is in activity; otherwise it remains in a dull inertia. When therefore we want to get rid of the old movements of physical nature, they resist by this kind of obstinate recurrence. One has to be very persistent in rejection to get rid of it.
"There are two aspects of physical Nature as of all Nature — the individual and the universal. All things come into one from the universal nature — but the individual physical keeps some of them and rejects others, and to those it keeps it gives a personal form. So these things can be said to be both inside it and coming outside from within or created by it because it gives a special form and also outside and coming in from outside. But when one wants to get rid of them, one first throws out all that is within into the surrounding nature — from there the universal Nature tries to bring them back or bring in new and similar things of its own to replace them. One has then constantly to reject this invasion. By constant rejection, the force of recurrence finally dwindles and the individual becomes free and able to bring the higher consciousness and its movements into the physical being."1
22-1-1937
THE
Why is there such a mad revolt in the lower Prakriti? No one has put any pressure there for a change.
It is probably after the progress made about the inner consciousness receiving in spite of the inertia that the tamas rose so strongly in order to assert its right to obstruct the progress.
1 Mother India, July 1952, pp. 2-3.
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There is an attempt in my being to support and help the working of the Mothers Force. If it succeeds sufficiently the tamas would hardly be able to delay the journey; it would be transformed into peace.
Yes, that is how it should happen — but it is difficult so long as the inner being is not conscious and receptive at all times and in all conditions — and it is difficult and takes time to establish such a condition.
Yesterday you spoke about the inner being. Today when the tamas began to rise as usual if stopped it. I would like to establish such a condition for good. Shall I succeed?
At any rate you have now the way and the power to do it.
This morning when I woke up I found myself already besieged by the army of the lower forces. Till yesterday I had at least some periods of relief when I could retire for a rest. But since this morning the whole time has been filled with the attacks. It is obvious that those forces are marching forward.
You do not say what the battle was about. However, whatever it might be, it has to be fought out and the main thing is to keep the inner quietude and faith.
What is 'the battle about'? The only thing these forces mind is my inner relation with the Mother. They object to it.
Of course they have very strong objections.
I felt that some people around me were used by the lower forces to upset me. Was it really so?
It may have been the lower forces working in them as
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well. But in what form did they come up, these lower forces?
What is the intention of the forces in their continued inroads?
They hope by persistence to tire you out or to get in by sheer obstinacy — or at least to delay the realisation by their attacks. That is always their method. If they can shake the faith, the peace and samata (equality), they think themselves richly recompensed.
I intend to sweep out the lower forces before meeting the Mother tomorrow. Failing in it I do not like to show my face to her.
That is a suggestion of the lower forces. They want to create an excuse for your remaining aloof like that.
Now I find it difficult to maintain even a mental aspiration.
It is a result of the adverse pressure.
I think H had not to pass so many days in sheer darkness like me.
Your difficulties are not worse than those of H or others.
You wrote two days back: "In what form did they come up, these lower forces?" Well, I don't know that. They simply come up.
What forces? what form do they take? tamas? ego? sex? dissatisfactions? wrong suggestions? Your descriptions speak only of attacks and suspension of the realisations — but what is the nature or form of the attack?
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These forces want me to remain below, that is, in their own domain of darkness.
What is this darkness then? Is it merely a negative condition or is there active disturbance and if so, of what kind? If it is only a negative condition, then you have to go on aspiring steadily till something does come down.
It is a condition of sheer darkness. The adverse forces did fry to introduce active disturbance — ego. sex, dissatisfaction etc. — but they could not succeed. For wherever I may be, fallen or besieged, the Mothers protection always follows me. It is there even when I do not or cannot notice it.
If it consists in that negation alone — then you have to aspire, get back the full quietude and silence and throw out the invading unconsciousness.
Even now I am unable to understand my present sadhana. What is the matter with it? — one after another, attacks are persistently coming. Am I pushed into a region of attacks? No sooner do I conquer one than I sec already another approaching me!
This negation is the very nature of the physical resistance and the physical resistance is the whole base of the denial of the Divine in the world. All in the physical is persistent, obstinate, with a massive force of negation and inertia — if it were not so, sadhana would be extremely cursory. You have to face this character of the physical resistance and conquer it however often it may rise. It is the price of the transformation of the earth-consciousness.
What is exactly meant by negation here?
Negation of deeper peace, Mother's presence, self etc.
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as opposed to a positive attack of lust, ego, vital turmoil etc.
The same negative state prolongs. I was sure to overcome it. But suddenly I received threefold more work than usual. So no time to work it out.
The negative condition should not alarm, if it is only negative, not accompanied with a disturbance. Some perseverance is all that is needed to get out of it.
My getting up from the present fall might begin from the silence. For that seems to be the nearest branch I can catch from the ground.
Probably you are right.
PHYSICAL CONSCIOUSNESS AND ITS DIFFICULTIES
Yesterday, while working and concentrated inwardly at the same time, I fell down from the stool on which I was standing. How does such an accident happen?
Some unconsciousness in the body taken advantage of by small forces which enjoy these accidents.
Something in your physical must have been off guard and been given a push or wrong movement.
How does the unconsciousness come into the body?
The body
How is one to make it conscious?
By bringing down the true consciousness into it and by being quiet, vigilant and conscious in the mind and vital.
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During the whole day I have been so much filled with tamas that I have not even succeeded in calling for the Divine's help. What to do under such circumstances?
You have either to shake it off by will or to call down the force into it.
What makes the physical so weak that it can't do without the vital's help?
The physical is not weak, it is inert because inertia is its principle — it is meant to be an instrument.
Sometimes when one is working, although one likes to work and the body goes on acting, the mind seems tamasic and hinders one from living in the Mother and feeling her force. If there is tamas, does it still allow one to work as usual?
Yes, in this case it is not a tamas of the vital but a tamas of the mental physical which remains inert and passive.
The adverse forces have pushed up the whole of my lower nature in its naked form. It is through inertia, sex, ego etc. that their attack is directed so furiously. If I were to imagine a picture of hell I think I wouldn't be able to paint it worse than my present plight as a result of these forces.
The one thing wrong would be to allow yourself to be overcome by them. If you remain steady in yourself, you can repel the attack or else it will exhaust itself and pass. In such circumstances you learn to be like a cliff attacked by a stormy sea but never submerged by it.
I understand how depression and dissatisfaction can enter me from the environment, but now how can the inertia be so responded to?
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Everything can be responded to. Inertia also can spread waves of itself like other things.
Since all my present methods appear to be ineffective to deal with the attacks, would you kindly point out some that will bring an immediate relief from the inertia?
Either to reject by dynamic means or to remain unaffected and let it pass are the two usual ways of dealing with these attacks.
I fail to understand what there is that prevents me from becoming dynamic and fighting out the interfering forces.
Inertia is the very character of the physical consciousness — left to itself, it is accustomed to be passive to forces and to be their instrument or give a mechanical response to them. In your external being there was always a certain tendency to inertia.
It is obvious that, in spite of the inert character of the physical consciousness, formerly there were days when the physical was not so much in the hands of tamas, rather it was peaceful and at rest. Something has happened. A frequent response to inertia and the lower forces has come as a mere consequence. If we can discover the cause of the intrusion and enlighten it, I suppose there will be some hope of a permanent relief from the constant upsurges.
When the mind and the vital take hold of the physical and make it an instrument, then there is no inertia. But here the physical consciousness has been dealt with. If it could have received the peace of the self into itself, without covering it over with inertia, then it would have been all right. But the vital has intervened somehow with its
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demand and dissatisfaction, so there has been this obstruction and inability to progress. This thing often happens in the sadhana and one must have the power either to reject it dynamically or else to remain detached until it has exhausted itself. Then the true movement begins again.
While the purification in the physical is going on, cannot the mind and vital keep up their usual sadhana without getting upset by the reactions in the physical, since they are separate from it?
In human consciousness they are not — they are usually all mixed up in their activities. That is the reason why the human nature is full of confusion and ignorance.
If you can catch the wrong parts that assent to the tamas and cling to it and persuade them to change their preference, that would be very effective.
Rejection and detachment when there is a rush of difficulties are good. But I feel they are hardly enough. Something more seems to be needed; the Mother knows what it is and how to do it.
You are always expecting the Mother to do it — and here again the laziness and tamas come in — it is the spirit of tamasic surrender. If the Mother puts you back into a good condition, your vital pulls you down again. How is that to stop so long as you say Yes to the vital and accept its discouragement and restlessness and anguish and the rest of it as your own? Detachment is absolutely necessary.
I agree that despair or depression is becoming rather
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frequent nowadays. But you say that I am struggling all the time!
If you are not struggling what are you doing? Letting it come in freely? But that is tamasic. Your letters express a helpless struggle and outcry.
Why all this suffering of the physical being on the way to the Divine?
It is the nature of the sadhana. The forces of the Ignorance are a perversion of the earth-nature and the adverse Powers make use of them. They do not give up their control of men without a struggle.
The other day you wrote: "That is the ordinary release from inertia, to begin a vital activity good or bad." Does it mean that when there is inertia it diffuses itself by creating a vital activity?
No. I mean that the Prakriti seeks relief from inertia by calling in vital rajas — that is the case in the ordinary movement of Nature.
What is the remedy for the increasing tamas? How to get rid of it even from the external being?
More strength and force from above pouring into the inertia and not letting it be a habit. The dynamic will to draw that down always.
Is my sadhana dependent on the mental will alone?
No, but it is when there is the absence of it and the nonaction of the higher consciousness, that the journey seems not to go on.
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No sooner did I get up from sleep than I found tamas pressing heavily on me, as if inviting me. I accepted the challenge. Half an hour's battle brought me the victory.
That is very good and rapid work.
If the calm and silence are perfectly established in the physical then if inertia comes — it is itself something quiet and unaggressive, not bringing disturbance. But to get rid of inertia altogether a strong dynamic calm is needed.
In various letters you pointed out the inner means to deal with the inertia. Are there no outer ways too which could be used even when my inner separation is passive and the conscious parts veiled?
I don't know of any effective outward means of getting rid of it. Some in hours when they cannot do sadhana, spend the time in other occupations — reading, writing or working — and do not try at all to concentrate. But I suspect what you need is more strength in the body.
Is this type of inertia only in me or in all?
It is in everybody — but less in some, more in others according to temperament. There are some who only feel it incidentally because of the great activity of mind or vital.
The other day you wrote that some people have less of this tamas because of the good activity of their mind or vital. In which way good?
I do not remember to have written 'good' — but maybe I meant people who have either a clear and strong activity
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of the mind (the intellectuals) or an energetic vital being which rejects tamas. I was not speaking of anything moral or spiritual.
When one's inner peace and silence are not disturbed, then how does the inertia intrude into the physical and work so freely there?
It is not a question of the inner being, even of the inner physical. It is a question of the physical consciousness. The habit of tamas manifests itself in the very fact of the constant alternatives of experience and inertia. The principle of tamas is inertia, aprakasa and apravrtti shown here by its being unable to keep the prakasa of the higher consciousness or answer continuously to the activity of sadhana — also by the rising up when it comes of sex etc. in a mechanical repetition of old ideas and feelings. It may be from the subconscient, but if the physical had not that habit of responding, it would have no hold. You would not be affected or feel yourself invaded or the sadhana stopped.
I don't know why the action from above is not always there. A suggestion comes saying when certain things are worked out the Force withdraws until one becomes ready to receive further its fiery action. Is this suggestion from the Light?
Yes, it is right. Everyone has these alternations because the total consciousness is not able to remain always in the above experience. The point is that in the intervals there should be quietude, at least in the inner being, no restlessness, dissatisfaction or struggle. If that point is attained, then the sadhana can go on smoothly — not that there will
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be no difficulties but there will be no disquietude or dissatisfaction etc., etc.
INERTIA
...It (inertia) was because of the nature, because the tendency to tamas is there: the outer being is not yet suffi-cently transformed. When the inertia rises you have to keep your inner being separate from it and perfectly calm and not to acquiesce in any nervousness or accept any suggestions or allow yourself to lean towards any active resistance or dissatisfaction with what is written to you or done for you. If in addition you find it possible to use any of the active means suggested in past answers, it is well — but if not this at least — what I have written above must be done. And always the aspiration firm and steady — not eager and excited — for the descent and the transformation of the whole nature must be preserved intact.
When the outer being is so totally obscured how to keep an aspiration?
One can always have an aspiration in the inner being, if the inner being keeps its separateness.
This difficulty is due to old habits of the physical mind and vital, which still have the power to repeat themselves by rising from the subconscient and as your physical mind and vital still respond you are not able to stop the disquietude. When they respond no longer, then there will be no disquietude.
Certain adverse forces are trying to create an active protest.
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So long as that is possible as a result of the inertia, the inertia will always insist — for to create an active resistance or protest and so break and not merely retard the sadhana is the main object with which it is brought up.
Now I see that a period of no-effort also comes during the course of sadhana. It is when we cannot make any active effort against the inertia in spite of our knowledge and will. We have got to accept this as a stage (though not a pleasant one), because we are dealing with the physical, the most degraded part of the human nature.
And yet the spirit of confrontation must be kept alive.
The period of no-effort is usually when the physical consciousness is uppermost — for the nature of that is inertia, to be moved by the higher forces or to be moved by the lower forces or any forces, but not to move itself. One must still use one's effort if one can, but the great thing is to be able to call down the Force from above into the physical — otherwise to remain perfectly quiet and, undisturbed, expect its coming.
Due to the excess of inertia, I am not able to live even in the outer mind. I cannot think, write or read anything spiritual or intellectual. The inertia is felt within as well as all around me. It is as if the inertia has replaced the ether itself!
It means that you are at full grips with the subconscient physical. However heavy and tedious the resistance you have to persevere till you have got the Peace, Knowledge, Force down there in place of the inertia.
There is a suggestion that our efforts in sadhana bring an
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undesirable reaction. But is not the suggestion really due to excess of inertia?
Yes, it is that. The suggestion is put in order to discourage the dynamic effort and keep one inertly passive.
My capacity of taking food is being reduced more and more. Is it an accompaniment of the inertia?
You must not let that movement go too far. It is one of the dangers of the sadhana, because of the ascetic turn of the Yoga in the past that as experiences come the suggestion comes that food or sleep etc. are not necessary and also there may come an inclination in the body not to eat or not to sleep. But if that is accepted the results are often disastrous. It is no more to be accepted than the inertia itself.
I heard a voice: "In spite of your efforts you find no fruit. The inertia will either disappear or change only when your whole body consciousness not only rejects it but also remains unaffected."
That is the truth.
The voice also said: "The more you make efforts the sooner the physical will be capable of controlling the whole subconscient."
That is also extremely true.
The last thing the voice said was, "Be happy and joyous even in the heaviness and tediousness of the inertia period. That indeed is the true nature of the hero and a true lover of the Mother"
Right.
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FACING THE
How to meet this inertia which is increasing in quantity and quality?
It is only by a more constant dynamic force descending into an unalterable equality and peace that the physical nature's normal tendency can be eradicated.
The normal tendency of the physical nature is to be inert and in its inertia to respond only to the ordinary vital forces, not to the higher forces. If one has a perfect equality and peace then one can be unaffected by the spreading of the inertia and bring down into it gradually or quickly the same peace with a force of the higher consciousness which can alter it. Until that is there there can be for long the difficulty and fluctuations with a preponderance of inertia such as you are now having.
After such a long struggle I am somehow accustomed to the physical resistance. But the present weight of the inert pressure astonishes me.
As one goes deeper into the material consciousness the weight of the physical inertia may increase.
Are there many sadhaks here who are under the same spell of inertia as I am?
Yes — it is a natural result of the consciousness's descent into the physical and the struggle with the subconscient resistance. Only its form varies with different people.
Something prevents my ascension in spite of the fact that the lower nature can best be dealt with from above.
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It happened in the same way with myself. I had to come down into the physical to deal with it instead of keeping the station always above. Of course if you can keep the station above so much the better, but as almost everybody is down in the physical, it is a little difficult perhaps.
Up to yesterday there was but sheer inertia, so the struggle was of a passive kind. But now the adverse forces seem to prepare for an active revolt.
Once they have succeeded with the inertia they always proceed to press for the active revolt.
The inertia simply prepares the ground — when there is the inert passivity, the adverse Force tries to take advantage of it. to push in its own suggestions.
Which part of my nature is directly affected by the inertia?
It is always the more external part that is inclined to the inertia and especially the physical part.
How is it that the mind believes that at the present juncture the will-force can't be used freely and easily? It is said there is no stage when the use of one's will is barred. Why then this experience?
It is due to the influence of the physical consciousness. The physical consciousness or at least the more external parts of it are, as I have told you, in their nature inert — obeying whatever force they are habituated to obey, but not acting on their own initiative. When there is a strong influence of the physical inertia or when one is down in this part of the consciousness the mind feels like the material Nature that action of will is impossible. Mind and vital nature are
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on the contrary all for will and initiative and so when one is in mind or vital or acting under their influence will feels itself always ready to be active.
The mind and vital have hardly any experience during this inert stage of the sadhana. But the body has begun to have states of peace, silence and Force. Is it not a rather strange phenomenon?
No, it is not strange. It means that at such times the whole working is in the body separately and that the peace, silence, Force is coming down there by degrees, though the mind is not conscious of the process of descent.
You wrote yesterday, "the whole working is in the body separately." A few days back you had said that it was the subconscient that was mostly dealt with. Well?
A great part of the body consciousness is subconscient and the body-consciousness and the subconscient are closely bound together. The body and the physical do not coincide — the body-consciousness is only part of the whole physical consciousness.1
If the inner being keeps separate then it is all right. The inertia will be worked out of the external being.
Since the working was directly on my physical, how is it that I was not conscious of it till it began to have peace and Force?
1 According to Sri Aurobindo. the physical consciousness includes the physical mind and the physical-vital as well as the consciousness of the gross material body. Therefore, the last-named does not coincide with the whole physical consciousness but is only a part of it.
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When the working is on the physical direct, not through the thinking mind or vital level, one cannot see the results without being aware of their process. That happens also in the earlier progress of the sadhana before the inner mind is awake.
When will all our difficulties be over?
That cannot be said. The difficulties are not likely to cease until the material resistance has been entirely conquered in principle.
...I meant that the difficulties in the physical (generally speaking, not in a particular case) could not be entirely absent so long as the material resistance to the supramental descent had [not] been overcome in principle. In principle means in essence, not in every detail of the coming development.
A time comes when one can't read, write or think of anything intellectual. One gets confined either to the physical consciousness or to the higher spiritual living.
It happens like that usually at this stage. The illumination of the physical consciousness is probably needed before that alternation can stop.
You said, "The physical did not surrender so easily. A long process was going on. Now the same process is put in the subconscient." If the present difficulty is of the physical, would it not mean that the physical has withdrawn its surrender?
The subconscient rises up into the physical and restores the physical inertia. Besides the surrender of the physical
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cannot be complete without its enlightenment and a certain penetration of the material which is relatively subconscient.
The dullness, heaviness, darkness, have reached the extreme point.
I suppose the most material consciousness has come up or you have gone into it.
It is, I suppose, the full Inertia that has come upon you. Now you have to get the true Energy down into it.
The whole nature when one reaches material bedrock becomes quiescent. One has to bring down the Force from above into the physical consciousness down to the material.
There is an entire cessation of any kind of activity of the mental, vital and physical consciousness.
That happens. All depends on how you take it. If you get discouraged, simply thinking "Things are getting worse and worse", it will remain a long time.
Is it our own material being's resistance that comes up or the resistance of the whole material Nature?
One's own material being responding to material Nature. It is the inability to react that you must get rid of.
You once said about the physical, "It was at that time something quite below. Since then you have come down much deeper into the physical and the inertia rises accordingly." Was this coming down necessary or could it have been avoided?
It has to be done at one time or another.
Could it then be taken as a step towards perfection?
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It is not a "step towards perfection" but it is a thing that comes on the way. When it comes, one has to pass through with faith, patience and courage.
You wrote to me, "I suppose, the most material consciousness has come up or you have gone into it." Does this reaching the material consciousness mean that all the layers above it (like the physical, vital etc.) have been conquered already?
No, but they have been penetrated in your case by the peace and by some light of knowledge; the higher parts of course more so than the lower, but that is always the case.
There is somewhere in the being a strong neutrality which annuls all efforts.
It is the neutrality of the physical consciousness which says, "I move only when I am moved. Move me who can."
Will the parts, like the material and the subconscient ever change?
Until they aspire or at least assent fully to the aspiration and will of the higher being, there can be no lasting change in them.
The fight with the ego is part of the fight with the physical nature for it is the superficial ego in the physical consciousness irrational and instinctive that refuses to go.
If there is no vital interference at present, what prevents my full dedication to the Divine?
It is the quiescence of the vital and the obscurity and inertia of the most physical consciousness which is now dominant and the absence of any descent of the higher
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consciousness to change all that.
Facing the inertia all the time tires the body. So I propose to keep three or four periods a day for a steady concentration. For the rest of the time I want to relax the mind by taking up some intellectual activity.
It is all right.
I am glad you have shown me the mistake committed in the past sadhana. In future I shall be more careful. Perhaps at that time it was necessary to stay above as much as possible detaching myself from the lower human nature?
I have not said that you made a mistake. I have simply stated what happened and the causes. If you had been able to remain above and let the Force come down and act while you were detached from the outer nature, it would have been all right. You were able to go up because the Peace descended. You were not able to remain above because the Peace could not occupy sufficiently the physical and the Force did not descend sufficiently. Meanwhile the inertia rose, you got troubled more and more because of the vital suggestions in the outer nature and the rise of inertia, so you were unable to keep detached and let the Force descend more and more or call it down more and more. Hence the coming down into the physical consciousness. In saying all that I am not giving any blame or saying you made a mistake or acted against the Mother's Will. These notions of mistakes or not doing the Will are your own, not mine.
Once you used the expression: "allowing the revolt to come through the physical consciousness". How was the revolt allowed?
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It is through the physical consciousness and its inertia and its mantra of "I can't, I can't, I can't" that it is able to come in.
When the physical mind acquiesces and says "I can't will, I can't do anything against the inertia, I can't prevent the revolt", that is allowing it to come through the physical consciousness.
Force or strength is not enough under the present circumstances. Rejection or even a quiet aspiration is often obstructed.
Nothing can obstruct a quiet aspiration except one's own acquiescence in the inertia.
It is a suggestion of the tamasic forces that insist on the difficulty and create it and the physical consciousness accepts it. Aspiration is never really difficult. Rejection may not be immediately effective, but to maintain the will of rejection and refusal is always possible.
This is not enough by itself, — there must also be the steady will for transformation.
Now the higher pressure is there, the aspiration and will are revived. Why then does the sadhana not proceed as before?
The physical obstacle in itself is obstinate — the physical consciousness moves slowly and with great difficulty and much resistance. One has to be very persevering and quietly persistent to overcome it.
How is it that now the lower vital is able to surge up after it has once stopped troubling?
Now it is the physical mind that is active in you and the
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physical mind gives a value and therefore a power to the lower vital which it did not have before.
It is the physical consciousness that has to change, so that the physical mind and physical vital may also change.
When the physical is enlightened, may one expect it to take the lead and liberate even the mind and vital?
The physical cannot do that — it is not meant to be the leader. It can by its own regeneration become the fit instrument of the higher powers.
EXPERIENCES IN BODY CONSCIOUSNESS
While concentrating, sometimes I get the experience of gathering different lights and forces on the head at the same time. I am surprised.
I suppose the physical consciousness is not accustomed to the play of lights and forces.
What an emptiness, as if all the energy is drawn out from my mind and vital, and all the bones and organs are removed from the body. I feel the physical movements act as out of Nothingness — Shunya — and they have no connection with my personal volition.
It is a well-known experience — when even the body consciousness feels only the self-existence.
Till lately my physical being was all void — as the emptiness had entered there too. But now the Mother's Force seems to have begun to occupy it.
Very good.
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My lower vital is putting itself into the Mother's hands. However, the subconscient still resists. I find it very difficult to bring it under a permanent control. But with the cooperation of the vital the process will now be easier.
Yes, but it is not enough that the lower vital should put itself into the Mother's hands. The whole physical and subconscient and everything else must do likewise.
Sometimes I feel that there is an essential change in my ordinary mind. But then how is it that the tamas is still rising up?
It rises in that case not from any mind level but from the essential physical consciousness itself (environmental as well as personal).
During the morning meditation, all my parts were filled with so much inertia that it was with great difficulty that I could maintain the aspiration. Then suddenly the body consciousness emerged from the darkness and took the lead. Would you believe me, it even instigated and directed my mind and vital! It made them stir up from their stupor — their long sleep of inertia. I wonder how the body consciousness can act like this.
It is very possible when one reaches a certain stage. The Force acts directly through the part needed for the action.
This was how the subconscient disturbance of the last two days was dissolved and the consciousness again turned towards the Mother's light.
It is because the subconscient being just below the physical, the enlightened physical can act on it directly and completely in a way in which mind and vital cannot and by this
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direct action can help to liberate the mind and vital also.
At present the body does not resist sadhana but it is very weak. It cannot support the movement the whole day or a continual experience.
Do you mean physically weak? To support the whole day long is not easy even for a strong body — the physical consciousness tends always to a relaxation.
Do you not think that every sadhak has a certain capacity for holding the experience when it is supported by the body?
For a time, yes. It is only when there is a big or complete descent that it can be held all the time.
I feel various experiences in different parts of the body. Sometimes they become quite tangible. Is it not a successful preparation for the final change?
Yes.
The physical has deep experiences, which the vital and mind miss at present. I wonder why then the inertia and fatigue are not on the decrease?
These are as yet only experiences, not the settled realisation of the divine peace, force and light.
What I see as inertia at present may be perhaps coming from the subliminal consciousness; otherwise how can my physical repose in peace and silence in spite of the inertia?
It is evidently in that case the subconscient inertia.
The Mothers Light flows in my forehead. I am surprised to see that it works with a tranquil intensity, while the whole
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head is completely filled with it.
Good.
At times I feel in the midst of an experience that the physical form of the organs where the experience is going on does not exist at all.
That kind of non-existence of the body or of some part of it is a frequent experience in sadhana.
The flesh is in a quietude and the cells are at rest.
That is very
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