Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

August 1938

T asks whether it is any more necessary to continue her special diet. She fears she will grow very fat.

[Mother:] It is better if she goes on with her present diet for the moment.

August 2, 1938

I seem to have an easier flow of inspiration now, but the product is not of such a superior quality, I don't find striking lines and expressions. Is it because of the ease of flow?

Yes, partly. The ease is that of practice in this metrical form and a certain achieved level of style and flow. But that level is not one of constant striking lines and expressions—that is not possible without some effort—not effort of construction, but vigilance to keep the inspiration up to the mark.

Don't you think I should now try some other form.

Yes, perhaps. I was thinking so the last 2 or 3 days.

[I sent Dilip's letter at the end of which I wrote:] Guru, so permission for Darshan given to S. Majumdar and staying with Dilipda too? I also know him, he is really a very fine man.

Dilipda promises me a kingdom for a wire. If I can get your answer today, well, the kingdom will be one day earlier, as the wire will go today.

Can wire and become a king at once.

August 3, 1938

Guru, thank you for making me a king! But a king without a queen wouldn't look nice, would he?

I tried the new form today, but found it extremely difficult.

That is natural after confining yourself so long to one form. You have to grow a facility in the new one.

R says that you think it wise not to remove the crust of his eczema, but press out the pus and apply medicine over it. But the crust is not healthy; it is formed by the pus itself... [The Mother marked the first sentence with a vertical line.]

It is his own interpretation of the sympathy I showed to his pains. I never intended to interfere with the treatment.

August 4, 1938

While Agarwal was examining Sundaranand's eyes, he found that his digestive function has not been at all right for a long time. There are poisons accumulated in his intestine, therefore piles and loss of appetite. He wants to know what may be the cause of the derangement and if it will get all right.

[Mother:] It is sure to get all right—the derangement must have been the result of the summer's heat, I suppose—

August 5, 1938

Guru, I got this letter from Jatin today. I don't know how far he wants to keep connection with me, whether he expects me to receive him at the station. If you think I had better, I shall. Will you put in an advice?

I suppose since he has written informing you of his arrival, you might go to the station.

The other day I dreamed that we had gone to the seaside. We found that the embankment had tumbled down, and a boy of 12 or 13 lay dead upon the rocks; though his limbs were caught in the cracks, they weren't mutilated. Suddenly I found his limbs stirring. Then the scene changed: I called my tired friends who were swimming, to rest on a floating bridge. After a while we swam a race and I came first. Now, what's the link between the two? The boy = the psychic? But the psychic is usually a baby! Any personal significance?

Looks more like a happening in a vital world than symbolic. The psychic does not always appear as a baby, but this is evidently not the psychic—as the whole thing is in the vital. If it is symbolic it could only mean a formation of some vital framework or breakdown of limitations and some inner formation at first overcome by the change, then recovering—the second dream would mean a dealing with the new structure, a swimming to cross the vital, first in fatigue then after rest a renewed vigour in crossing.

But all that is doubtful; for the symbolism of these is not sufficiently marked to be unmistakable.

Annapurna's eyes are watering, and there's a burning sensation. Trachoma. Shall I send her to Agarwal?

[Mother:] Yes.

August 6, 1938

I hear from Agarwal that you have sanctioned boiled vegetables from here for Sundaranand.

[Mother:] I said to ask you if it would be possible.

If so, for the noon, it can be boiled with Arjava's, and for the evening, it can be simply fried (without any spice) with Benjamin's.

[Mother:] Yes, it is all right.

August 7, 1938

"The whole universe seems to be a cry
To the apocalypt vision of thy Name."

Damn fine, sir!

August 8, 1938

Padmasini has a dry cough. Perhaps it will be better to see her lungs under the screen.

[Mother:] Yes, provided she does not get frightened—

August 10, 1938

"My heart lies now at rest; it has begun
To live within a vast kingdom of soul,..."

Well, "lies" had better change; for one can't live much lying down but one can be at rest (inwardly) and live.

August 11, 1938

Dining Room servant's legs scalded by hot water...Don't you think it will be advisable to keep some tannic acid solution (which is not a poison) in D.R., so that in emergencies like small burns it can be applied? It is very effective and simple in application.

[Mother:] Yes, it is better but contents and use must be clearly written on the bottle with a red label (for external use only) to prevent all possibility of mistake.

Is not picric acid more effective?

Guru, I became desperate and brought down this poem. God knows whether its head is in normal condition or is lacerated.

No harm has happened to the poetry (whatever be the case with the head) except that rhythm and metre are rather lacerated in some lines of the last 3 stanzas.

August 13, 1938

[I sent a long report regarding Dr. Manilal's treatment for Z's suspected T.B. There was no reply.]

August 17, 1938

You didn't say whether you approved of all that Dr. Manilal recommended for Z as regards the treatment.

[Sri Aurobindo:] No objection.

Guru, I expected something new after the Darshan touch, but the same old stuff (in poetry) with the same difficulty in writing!

It is very good stuff.

The difficulty is perhaps due to these few days' interval?

Probably.

Did you see "the seas of rapture in my heart"? All right?

Seas have not to be seen so much as swum on.

And how did you find the Bangalore scientists? They seem to have been much moved, God knows by what!

The supramental, I suppose!

One of them, the hardest nut and a "jewel" of the group, Govinda, was on the point of tears at the farewell! Just think!

Again the supramental! The supramental is beyond all thinking.

August 19, 1938

Please have some divine compassion and give me something new.

Well, well, well! We'll see.

How long can one keep this Yogic attitude?

Why not? A Yogi must always have Yogic attitude.

I asked Rajani for some cheese, butter, jam and coffee, for R. But R has suddenly stopped coming here for tea in the morning. What then am I to do with these articles? May I send them to you? R doesn't want them?

[Mother:] Keep the things; he may come back again after some time.

August 22, 1938

"Lost in an ecstasy of germinal sound
That wanders through the night's shadowy bars..."

The deuce! what's an ecstasy of germinal sound? And a wandering one at that?

Please sprinkle your supramental humour how and then. A too matter-of-fact dealing takes our breath away, or at least makes lift damned harder, you know. Or are your humours also decided by Supramental Truth-sight?

It depends on the state of my inner humerus.

God, alas! What a queer fellow your Supramental will be!

Can't be queerer than the mental human! .But I suppose he will seem queer to the queer mental human just as the queer human seems queer to the queer vital monkey and the queer monkey to the queer material jelly-fish. All queer together! and to each other!

August 26, 1938

"O dream of solitude, visionary flame,
Make the lone deeps of my heart thy home..."

"Visionary" O.K.?

No, it isn't very complimentary, means usually an unpractical fellow who has unreal "visionary" ideas.

"Travelling through hollow spaces of day and night Towards its rich fruition in the Sublime..."

Fruition! would fructify in prose.

The last two stanzas are logical tails, I hope.

The last three hairs of the tail needed a little combing and brushing.

August 27, 1938

Guru, the last stanza took me an hour and yet I fear I couldn't get an original idea or expression.²²¹

On the contrary, it is eminently successful and well worth the hour spent on it.

You said that you would "see" about giving me something new in poetry. Well, it does not seem that you have "seen" yet, does it?

I simply said that we will see, i.e. how things develop. The idea of these poems is the same as before, but in expression the poetry is becoming more and more authentic, more "seen" than before and that after all is the main thing. The last two stanzas are Al.

August 28, 1938

I wonder if you could recast or rewrite the whole poem so that I may be fortunate enough to preface my 2nd volume of poems with it. Enclosing a paper,—at your leisure.

Very difficult. In that case I have to keep the two papers and wait for illumination.

August 29, 1938

Please ask Sri Aurobindo to go through Jyoti's letter... Please advise what to do.

[Sri Aurobindo:] Shoot Becharlal at her as requested.

August 30, 1938

By writing that letter, everything has disappeared, and Jyoti is happy.

Guru, this poem²²² is really disappointing. I am sure you will find plenty of hurdles...

These are indeed very difficult hurdles but I have leaped them all—only in the process the poem has got considerably reshaped. So I don't put lines except for a few that have remained almost as they were. The last line is magnificent ["A fathomless beauty in a sphere of pain"]—the others mostly needed a revision which they don't seem to have got.

Day by day things are getting so difficult—more than your Yoga, Sir! My head will break one day. Be prepared for it, please!

Well, well, when the head is broken, a passage for a superior light is often created—so either way you gain, a safe head or an illumined one.

August 31, 1938