Nirodbaran's Correspondence with Sri Aurobindo

March 1934

The peace and joy I was experiencing since Darshan, have, I find, left me all on a sudden since yesterday. But what actions of mine—conscious or unconscious—have caused the happy condition to withdraw?

A very small thing will sometimes bring a fall of consciousness when the thing is not yet pakka⁸. One has to pick oneself up again quietly without minding the interruption.

Mother, from your look at pranam it seemed to me you didn't or don't like our taking food exclusive of Asram food...

How did you read food into the Mother's look? It was not there at all.

Often I have felt that you give sanction for these occasional feastings, but at the same time you don't sanction... Intuitive perception of your wish, I must say, isn't an easy thing. Why don't you tell me clearly what I should do, insteading of leaving me to find out for myself?

Why don't you go on what the Mother says instead of taking all this intuitive or inferential trouble?

Why do I come back so happy from D's place? Is it due to what you call vital sympathy?

It may be a vital sympathy—but with no harm in it.

March 7, 1934

I send a poem, rather a long one. It's addressed to P, can I send it to him?

Yes. The beginning of the poem seems to me to have some strength in it. The rest spins itself out rather thinly at too great a length. A more compact and original thought and expression are needed.

Is there not a difference between the sleep before 12 and after?

The sleep before 12 is supposed to be the best

I had a very peculiar dream last night. I'm almost ashamed to write about it. I heard someone saying to me in Bengali, "In Shiva's ansha⁹ is your birth", as soon as I got up I was in a flood of joy and devotion for Shiva.

Everyone's inner being is born in the ansha of some Devata.

Birth and tradition of this life are not everything—there have been previous lives also which one carries on into this one and a future also which is already existent in the present.

March 17, 1934

I send you one more poem. But there seems to be hardly any originality in the idea itself—boat, boatman, etc., reminds one of Rabindranath, doesn't it? I would like to have your opinion.

In the ideas and images there is not much originality and I cannot say Tagore is not there in his ubiquitous glory. But it is well written all the same.

March 20, 1934

Last night in a half-sleepy state in meditation, I had a vision of Sri Krishna playing on his flute in his usual pose. The likeness was as represented in current paintings. So I rather hesitate to accept it as a vision at all. But I wonder, even if the vision were true, why should Krishna appear when I have been trying to see Shiva?

If it was like the pictures, it may have been a mental image. On the other hand it may not have been, especially as you did not ask for it. Krishna may have appeared in that form because for your mind it was easiest.

I am surprised to see that within a few days J has written more poems than my whole output in a year. No, I am not jealous but I wonder how and why I don't get sufficient inspiration.

Your poems are well enough—but for both J and yourself, what has to be seen is whether it comes to something original and substantial. At present what both are doing is only prentice-work.

March 21, 1934

For a week or so I have not been able to write a single line. But it struck me-why not try something in prose which, I suppose, can be done even in the absence of any inspiration. But I am faced with the difficulty of a weak style, lack of plots and the thought of a failure.

You can try—making it the object to get rid of the defects of style and structure.

Will you kindly give me some advice on this, as well as your Force for the necessary development? When the current of inspiration comes to a stop, I think sometimes that perhaps you have forgotten me in your busy moments.

It does not depend on that at all. It depends on a certain state of receptivity—an opening of the channel between the inner plane where the inspiration comes and the outer through which it has to Pass.

March 27, 1934

I have diarrhoea. I had toast and butter at A's, and am having tea regularly at D's. Is it due to either? But can the bowels be so sensitive as that by Yoga?

Yes, the bowels can be quite as sensitive as that—but it is probably some other cause. Diarrhoea may come from catching cold in the stomach or other reasons than food.

As regards the "opening of the channel", can it be done sooner by more concentration, meditation, etc., disregarding the literary side for the time being?

One can get the power of receptivity to inspiration by concentration and meditation making the inner being stronger and the outer less gross, tamasic and insistent.

You have said that inspiration comes as a result of a certain state of receptivity. Are we supposed to be more receptive at times that we feel the inspiration descending?

Yes.

But the difference is hardly perceptible.

It only means that you cannot perceive it.

I have been faced with a doubt whether one can profit by writing poems, etc., as much (I mean spiritually) as one would if he had devoted that part of his time to sadhana—meditation, etc. In other words can literary activity be taken as part of one's sadhana?

Any activity can be taken as part of the sadhana if it is offered to the Divine or done with the consciousness or faith that it is done by the Divine Power. That is the important point.

March 29, 1934