The letters reveal Nirod's unique relationship with his guru. The exchanges are suffused with a special humour.
Sri Aurobindo : corresp.
Nirodbaran's correspondence with Sri Aurobindo began in February 1933 and continued till November 1938, when Sri Aurobindo injured his leg and Nirod became one of his attendants. The entire correspondence, which was carried on in three separate notebooks according to topics - private, medical, and literary - is presented in chronological order, revealing the unique relationship Nirod enjoyed with his guru, replete with free and frank exchanges and liberal doses of humour. Covering a wide range of topics, both serious and light-hearted, these letters reveal the infinite care Sri Aurobindo devoted to the spiritual development of his disciple.
THEME/S
"I have seen in thy white eyes A spark unknown,..."
White eyes = eyes without pupils which would be rather terrifying.
By the way, yesterday while meditating, I saw clearly that you wrote "excellent" for yesterday's poem196—almost the same as "exceedingly fine". This is the third or fourth time I had such a prevision. Some faculty growing, Sir? Or a coincidence?
"Coincidence" is a quack scientific word which like many such words states the fact that two things coincide (here your prevision and my opinion coincide) but does not explain the fact—If a man sees a snake in dream in the night and each time crosses one in the day, that would be a coincidence of dream and snake. But to say so leaves the real question untouched, viz. why the coincidence?
... Don't know how J will react to your remark that you are too busy to see her poetry now. That is the Lord's business.
It is rather her business.
She has given up Bengali poetry thinking that you haven't much time to take it up. Perhaps English will be easy for you. Well?
She tells me I can do her poem for her in 3 minutes. I have told her it would take half an hour or 20 minutes at the least—which is a fact as it is in a terrible mess.
I asked her to take up some other work so long as poetry can't be done. But her sadhana can only be done through her own line, i.e. literature, not through sweeping etc. Alas, alas! Even R and K [artists] have taken up some other work, she can't!
Of course not—because she is not sincere about it. The idea of sadhana through her own line is a mere excuse—it is a vital satisfaction she is after.
What exactly is vital interchange?
Difficult to specify. There is always a drawing of vital forces from one to another in all human social mixture that takes place automatically. Love-making is one of the most powerful ways of each drawing up the other's vital force, or of one drawing the other's which also often happens in a one-sided way to the great detriment of the "other". In the passage come. many things good and bad, elation, feeling of strength, and support, infiltration of good or bad qualities, interchange of psychological moods, states and movements, depressions, exhaustion—the whole gamut. People don't know it—which is a mercy of God upon them—but when one gets into a certain Yogic consciousness, one becomes very much aware and sensitive to all this interchange and action and reaction, but also one can build a wall against, reject etc., etc.
Dr. Rao thinks that it is better to isolate R.L. from public work. We shall have to see the blood result.
[Mother:] Let her be examined first.
The mischief is that she is very useful in the D.R. just now, but I shall see if I can have her replaced as, evidently, it would be better if she did not do public work.
May 2, 1938
Guru, I learned from Ishwarbhai that you want me to send up this letter [on vital interchange]. I wonder if you can deal with the subject a little more liberally on the typed sheet, as it is rather an important and interesting phenomenon.
My impression was that I had written much more—but that is probably an adhyaropa197 from the copiousness of my other reply on the feminine woman. Anyhow I have added a little to the rather stumpy note. You can type and give a copy to Ishwarbhai.
[Sri Aurobindo's revised version of the letter of 2.5.38]
There is always a drawing of vital forces from one to another in all human social mixture; it takes place automatically. Lovemaking is one of the most powerful ways of each drawing up the other's vital force,—or of one drawing the other's, which also often happens in a one-sided way to the great detriment of the "other". In the passage come many things good and bad, elation, feelings of strength, fullness, support or weakness and depletion, infiltration of good and bad qualities, interchange of psychological moods, states and movements, ideas helpful and harmful, depression, exhaustion—the whole gamut. In the ordinary consciousness one is not aware of these things; the effects come into the surface being, but the cause and process remain unknown and unnoticed because the interchange is subtle and covert, it takes place through what is called the subconscient, but is rather a behind-consciousness covered by the surface waking mind. When one gets into a certain Yogic consciousness, one becomes very much aware of this covert movement, very sensitive to all this interchange and action and reaction; but one has this advantage that one can consciously build a wall against them, reject, refuse, accept what helps, throw out or throw back what injures or hinders. Illnesses can also pass in this way from one to another, even those which are not medically regarded as contagious or infectious; one can even by will draw another's illness into oneself as did Antigonus of Macedon accepting death in this way in order to save his son Demetrius. This fact of vital interchange, which seems strange and unfamiliar to you, becomes quite intelligible if one realises that ideas, feelings etc. are not abstract things but in their way quite concrete, not confining their movements to the individual's mind or body but moving out very much like the "waves" of science and communicating themselves to anyone who can serve as a receiver. Just as people are not conscious of the material waves, so it is and still more with these mental or vital waves; but if the subtle mind and senses become active on the surface—and that is what takes place in Yoga—then the consciousness becomes aware in its reception of them and records accurately and automatically their vibrations.
Mother has said in "Conversations" that one can lose everything (I don't remember the exact words) by just a look from another.198
Did she deal with this subject at any length? If so and if you remember where, you can indicate the passage to Ishwarbhai.
Or one can-lose even by passing by somebody unfavourable. That is something dreadful, Sir!
Quite true, it often happens. It is the reason why Mother looked with some uneasiness on tea parties and things.
Is that one of the reasons why Anilbaran down-casts his glance as soon as he meets our eyes?
It may be—to minimise interchange.
As if he has seen a "sin"—to quote D; and which D deeply resents and complains of.
D could never bear that Yoga and spiritual inner life could have any claims as against social intercourse.
Is that the way to "build a wall" against anything undesirable?
It is a wall of consciousness that one has to build. Consciousness is not something abstract, it is like existence itself or ananda or mind or prana, something very concrete. If one becomes aware of the inner consciousness, one can do all sorts of things with it, send it out as a stream of force, erect a circle or wall of consciousness around oneself, direct an idea so that it shall enter somebody's head in America etc., etc.
Can it be said also that people who are "powerful" love-makers have a need in some part of their being or part of their make-up? D surely has no need, he has enough vital strength and all that to spend.
People with vital force are not only always throwing it on others but also always drawing it from others. D does it in the form of praise, affection, submission to his influence, sexual surrender, etc. Otherwise why did he feel so much and become miserable, if he was criticised, refused affection or submission, etc., etc.? If he had no need, it would not have affected him.
I wonder if transmission of diseases also plays a part in this interchange.
Yes.
I don't understand why you call it "the mercy of God", just as there is exhaustion, depression, there is also elation.
Because ignorance is bliss and they would feel very uncomfortable if they felt these things or were at all aware of them. As for the elation they get it without needing to know the cause.
[Chand's telegram:] "Great inertia again letter follows."
Guru, another bombardment! What an impulsive fellow! Almost unparalleled. I think he is another fellow who will find life extremely difficult here.
Well, there's no inertia in his wrong activities at any rate. He is full of energy there.
"Replete with the essences..." how do you like it, Sir?
Great Scott! Replete! essences? petrol? This line is terribly philosophic, scientific and prosaic.
May 3, 1938
S has had a terrible cough and high fever since yesterday noon. Any mixture to be given?
[The Mother marked the last portion of my question, with a line.]
It might be better to know first what it is—
May 4, 1938
Guru, I have absolutely gone for the Muse today in a terrible vengeance against her uncharitableness. The weather is splendidly hot and if the Muse makes me perspire still more, well, I shall be turned into a 'Perspiring idiot"!
But is a perspiring idiot worse than a dry idiot? I don't think so.
"A purple shadow walks along..." It sounds rather like a sentry walking along, no? Seems funny!
"Walking along" suggests not a sentinel but someone taking a constitutional stroll on the beach in the hope of getting a motion. Too colloquial.
"Life is a lonely journey..."
? For most it is a chattering peopled journey—Besi "lonely' comes at the end.
I've already told Sahana that I shall give her that letter [on vital interchange].
In that case you can do so, but it is better if she does not show it to others.
In the future, I will take her.
? take her where?
N.P. came to me with a letter from Agarwal. I asked him to forward it to you, for your advice.
Don't know anything about this.
On grounds of medical ethics I can't give any opinion, I said, especially as he has approached Agarwal who is more competent than I. One thing struck me in his note, when Agarwal says that he cured N.P. in a day because Mother's force works actively through him. It may be that the force works, but so actively as to cure him in a day?
Why not? If there is sufficient receptivity, then time does not matter.
Alas, the force works through me in months, if at all!
Agarwal has self-confidence and with that one can always succeed. If there are failures, nobody notices, because they are covered up by the high notes of the song of self-confidence.
Don't understand at all these subtle things. The same disease, the same treatment, except hip-bath, purging 20 times, fruit diet, etc., and he cures in a day!
But even without the force, in ordinary cases, with the same disease and the same treatment there is sometimes cure and sometimes no-cure.
By the way, it is very interesting to note the difference of appreciation between D and T regarding the famous singer Kesarbai. T says, "I am forced to say it is good, though I can't say that I like it," while D is absolutely beyond words in praise of her.
Well, doesn't criticism boil down to that "I like it" or "I don't like it"? What more do you expect?
But then T is also a connoisseur!
My dear sir, what is the use of connoisseurs if they don't have opinions entirely different from every other connoisseur?
May 5, 1938
"Eternities come and go Like clouds of drowsy time..."
How can Eternities come and go like clouds of Time—they wouldn't be eternities any longer.
Guru, this is another specimen of "thoughtless" writing, though I had to doze for about an hour. It is a great bother to concentrate on every line and finish a poem, perspiring like an "idiot". I think I shall try the habit of down whatever comes, and then widen or narrow it as required.
That is my own method—I put down what comes and deal with it afterwards in the calm light of intuitive reflection.
Where is this Intuition gone in my case? No chance of re turning? What does it mean by giving a flying visit?
That kind of hide and seek is a frequent phenomenon of poetic inspiration.
May 6, 1938
Guru, when I read that your method of writing poetry is the same as mine, I said: "The shishya's method must be the same as the Guru's," but when I read the rest of your letter, I sat down! "Calm light of intuitive reflection"! O Lord, how to do that? Your Intuition says everything to you? Have you nothing to think whether right or wrong? Alas! how then can the shishya follow the Guru!
Good Heavens! After a life of sadhana you expect me still to "think" and what is worse think what is right or wrong. I don't think, even; I see or I don't see. The difference between intuition and thought is very much like that between seeing a thing and badgering one's brains to find out what the thing can possibly be like. Intuition is truth-sight—The thing seen may not be the truth? Well, in that case it will at least be one of its hundred tails or at least a hair from one of the tails. The very first step in the supra-mental change is to transform all operations of consciousness from the ordinary mental to the intuitive, only then is there any hope of proceeding farther, not to, but towards the supramental. I must surely have done this long ago otherwise how could I be catching the tail of the supramental whale?
May 7, 1938
"My soul keeps its wide calm Amidst the surge..."
For heaven's sake don't bring calm in at the end of a line. One has to rhyme with balm, palm or psalm, and to bring any of these in without an obvious effort of manufacture is a Herculean feat. Of course if you slam in an Imam or warm up to an alarm, it becomes easier but at the cost of an uneasy conscience.
May 8, 1938
These two poems followed as if one piece. But I find some difference. Both seem to have a similarity in thought.
They seem to me separate. Probably the broadcaster above forgot to announce "Here I begin some new stuff."
Don't get into a fit over the rhyme—it can be done once in a way.
Nolini wants a very good recent poem of mine, to try in "Viswabharati" (Tagore's paper). I wonder if they will publish it. Would an "intuitive" poem be better or a coloured or stressed one?
Depends on the poetic taste of the Viswabharati editor about which I know nothing.
Roch (an Atelier worker) came today after 4 or-5 days! Diarrhoea stopped the very day, but no motion since then. He has pain in the abdomen, fever, weakness. What to do with these people? They don't want to go to the hospital, neither do they come here regularly. How to treat such cases?
[Mother:] I suppose you have to threaten them with a refusal of treating them if they do not come regularly—We used to be very strict that way before and it had some effect.
May 9, 1938
Though I didn't get into a 'fit", I couldn't escape a slight fine tremor over two "beyonds". How do you explain that?
Well, to silence the tremor, the best is to substitute "above" for the second "beyond"—peace be with you!
And is there a suggestion of 3 vertical lines in the 4th stanza, or cancelled as an after-thought?
No, it was a vain attempt to substitute one line for two.
Guru, this fellow Chand wants a power of attorney. It is a bother to find out Notaire Public, buy a French (?) form and all that. Shall I wait for Doraiswamy's coming?
There is no certainty about the time of Duraiswami's coming and meanwhile Chand may have gone to join. himself to his better half, the Calcutta Corporation. Why does not Chand send you the power of attorney ready drawn up; you can go with Purani and sign it before the Consul.
Nateshan (a painter in the carpentry dept.) has syphilis. He has ulcer on the foot—an open wound. Rishabhchand says that his habits are also dirty. I'm afraid we shall have to send him to the hospital for injections. I asked Rishabhchand to give him an outside work till we hear from you.
[Mother:] Yes the man must go for treatment to the hospital and we cannot give him work until he is cured.
May 10, 1938
"The moon then rises from the grave Of earth..."
Lord, sir, and what of the astronomers? A moon rising out of the earth. If it is an irresponsible occult moon, that should appear more evidently.
Mr. Raymond199 says he had an attack of influenza and now feels very weak—no appetite, no taste for food. I think he will profit by some bitter tonic. I didn't suggest it to him, though.
[Mother:] You might suggest.
May 11, 1938
... André gave Mr. Raymond a tonic—Carnine Lefranco, which, I find, is a concentrated meat extract. I would have preferred something else...
[The Mother underlined "meat extract".]
[Mother:] Better not give it—meat is not good for him—
May 12, 1938
We want a large vessel for preparing soup. What about an aluminium vessel (if you have one in stock), just the kind we have for the milk in D.R.? Soup can't be prepared in such vessels? Enamel ones have been specially ordered from France, I hear. But I don't think there is any chance of getting a fresh stock now.
[Mother:] Aluminum vessels can be used for soup quite well, but I fear there are none in stock. However we can have one from Madras or Calcutta.
May 13, 1938
R. L. had vomiting sensation in the afternoon. Wonder if it is due to small doses of arsenic... I have stopped it.
[Mother:] Yes beware of the arsenic. Some people cannot stand it at all.
I am tired of these moons, stars, suns, etc. It seems as if spiritual poems can't do without them.
Excuse me, they can. ন তত্র ভাতি চন্দ্রতারকাং ।200
May 14, 1938
You say "ন তত্র ভাতি চন্দ্রতারকাং", that may be a spiritual experience, but to express it in poetry is rather difficult. Harin has sun and moon in plenty. Amal has "stars" coming in almost every one of his poems, said his friend Saranagata.
That was Amal's own preference, not the spiritual poems' necessity. I read the other day a comment on Keats' poetry that he always writes about stars and that there is a spiritual reason for it.
We haven't had many of your poems to go by. This is one point against spiritual poetry. Another, it seems to me that spiritual poetry is bound to be limited in scope and less full of "রস বৈচিত্র্য"201 (to quote Tagore) and a little monotonous, every time soul, spirit, etc. coming in in slightly different garbs.
Ordinary poems (and novels) always write about love and similar things. Is it one point against ordinary (non-spiritual) poetry? If there is sameness of expression in spiritual poems, it is due either to the poet's binding himself by the tradition of a fixed set of symbols (e.g. Vaishnava poets, Vedic poets) or to his having only a limited field of expression or imagination or to his deliberately limiting himself to certain experiences or emotions that are dear to him. To readers who feel these things it does not appear monotonous. Those who listen to Mirabai's songs, don't get tired of them, nor do I get tired of reading the Upanishads. The Greeks did not tire of reading Anacreon's poems though he always wrote of wine and beautiful boys (an example of sameness in unspiritual poetry). The Vedic and Vaishnava poets remain immortal in spite of their sameness which is in another way like that of the poetry of the troubadours in mediaeval Europe, deliberately chosen. রস বৈচিত্র্য is all very well, but it is the power of the poetry that really matters. After all every poet writes always in the same style, repeats the same vision of things in "different garbs".
In connection with J's poetry, you had said long ago that there is a danger of repeating in mystic poetry.
The danger but not the necessity.
You know when Sahana sent some of her poems to Tagore, he said that the world creation is full of a variety of rasa. The poet's mind should not be confined to one single প্রেরণা202, however vast it may be.203
[Sri Aurobindo underlined "however vast it may be".]
But Tagore's poetry is all from one প্রেরণা. He may write of different things, but it is always Tagore and his prerana repeating themselves interminably. Every poet does that.
He hints that only spiritual inspiration dealing with things spiritual and mystic should not bind a poet's creation. Well?
Well and if a poet is a spiritual seeker what does Tagore want hilt to write about? Dancing girls? Amal has done that. Wine and women? Hafez has done that. But he can only use them as symbols as a rule. Must he write about politics,—communism, for instance, like modernist poets? Why should he describe the outer aspects of বিশ্ব প্রকৃতি204 for their own sake, when his vision is of something else within বিশ্ব প্রকৃতি or even apart from her? Merely for the sake of variety? He then becomes a mere litterateur. Of course if a man simply writes to get poetic fame and a lot of readers, if he is only a poet, Tagore's advice may be good for him.
Nishikanta and Harin have more variety, perhaps. But on the whole don't you think we are likely to be lacking in this rasa and variety?
It is not a necessity of spiritual poetry; but if it so happens, I don't see that it matters so terribly.
Tagore says that it is unbecoming for a poet to mention that his discovery of a metre is new or difficult.
That is a matter of etiquette. Tagore popularised the স্বরবৃত্ত205 and there was a big row about it at first; he left it to his admirers to shout about it. Dilip being a prosodist prefers to do the fighting himself, that is all.
I wonder why one should not mention that a chhanda is new, if a poet discovers one. He may not say that it is difficult, but why shouldn't he speak of its newness? For instance the discovery of your stress rhythm had to be mentioned in order to be grasped.
Obviously.
Tagore being a master of chhanda, says this?
Also an inventor of new metres.
Dilip seems to have made chhanda a mathematical business; that's why many complain that his poems can't be read.
Is it true?
Once Tagore wrote to Sahana that he couldn't appreciate Dilipda's language and style (didn't say whether of prose or poetry).
Why did he praise him (to Dilip himself) now?
Can't you send some of your poems? You owe me one, you know.
What poems? I am not writing any, except occasionally my long epic (Savitri) which cannot see the light of day in an embryonic state.
"The zephyr from an inscrutable height Blowing like strains of a lyre..."
Zephyr from an inscrutable height? The zephyr is a sweet little romantic wind incapable of heights.
With difficulty I have avoided moon, stars, etc., but in one place I have put "sun" which I hope you will kick out.
Kicked!
May 15, 1938
"No more the dark world calls With its alluring voice..."
Lord, sir—let this dark world and its alluring voice be far from us. It jars here, bringing in the note of the often heard obvious.
K feels fatigued again. It may be better for him to take another bottle of the tonic. Shall we buy one?
[Mother:] I have sent to the Dispensary a bottle of Wincarnis; you might try it on K.
May 16, 1938
Guru, again with a Herculean effort I have kept out most of my blessed "dear" terms, with what effect, you know.
Yes, only aureole remains. There is of course immortal—and eternal, but these we have allowed. Also "glow, wine, splendour" perhaps; but if we go too far in exclusiveness, your inspiration may cease to glow also. So we will be moderate in our exactions on the Muse.
T has fever (two days) and pain on the left side which makes it difficult to move or even turn on the bed. Better see her and it may be best to call André to see what is the matter with her, for she has been complaining of bad health for long—weakness, inability to work, lassitude, etc.
May 17, 1938
T's X-ray taken, and André says that it may be T.B. He says that injection at present is not desirable. I wonder if she could be spared from the kitchen work, for she has become very weak.
[Mother:] The best seems to me that she should stop 'the kitchen work at least for a few weeks until she becomes stronger—
André has prescribed Tricalcine (calcium), shall we buy it?
[Mother:] Certainly.
He has also prescribed some extra alimentation: oranges, milk, butter, soup, etc.
[Mother:] For a long time I was giving her orange juice, she herself asked that it should be stopped. I am still giving her biscuits every day. She was getting butter and also asked to stop it, because it was making her fat! In fact she had stopped the orange juice because she was taking much milk and her stomach cannot stand both at the same time.
May 18, 1938
... T's diet is strikingly poor. She has agreed to take 2 or 3 oranges a day. But I hear you are short of oranges. If available, papaya will be good, and mangoes and other fruits.
[Mother:] Oranges are difficult but "mandarines" (loose jackets) can be found at the bazaar. I suppose it will do—papaya and mangoes can be given daily for the moment.
Then if you have no objection, she should have some other vegetable. At present she has a little distaste for D.R. curry, so she doesn't take much of it. She can either prepare it herself or L can do it. We could even ask Lakshmi.
[Mother:] She has dislike of the D.R. food because she is cooking it herself. So I do not think it is quite safe to ask her to cook for herself.
About work, it will be decidedly better to stop cooking, but she must have some other light work to occupy herself.
[Mother:] She is doing embroidery. Is there any objection to that?
She seems not to want to stop the cooking work although we wrote to her to stop it. It might be better to tell her that she must stop it.
As for medicine, what do you think of Chyavanprash? It is widely used in India for lung trouble, and is very effective, they say. She can take it with Tricalcine.
[Mother:] Yes.
[A note from the Mother later in the day:]
Nirod
It is better not to press T to take Lakshmi's food, but perhaps L would agree to prepare some food for T—You might ask her—and if she agrees perhaps she could come to the dispensary for cooking as she may not have the needed things with her.
May 19, 1938
... André said he fears T has T.B... At present she has no taste at all due to fever. So I have asked her to take more fruits.
[Sri Aurobindo:] When it becomes necessary to have special food for her, you will have to arrange directly with L about it.
"Lonelily like a sheep I go Along the watermark of time..."
How is this sheep? "Lonelily" Harinian?
[Sri Aurobindo:] don't know if it is Harinian, but it is certainly impossible. Sheep is too sheepish,—you might just as well say, "like a mouse".
Guru, do you find any blessed progress?206 Getting rather "hopeless"!
A very fine poem, sir. Progress blessed, not hopeless.
May 20, 1938
"Lonelily" is impossible? or it's impossible in this context? Surely you have seen H using it very often. If you haven't, then I'll show it to you tomorrow, or only H can do it?
The word simply doesn't exist, any more than "lovelily" or "sillily" or "wilily". You can say "lonesomely" if you think it worth while, not "Ionelily". H is no authority for the use of English words. I did not correct his English when I saw his poems—I left the responsibility of his departures to himself, except when he himself asked on a particular point.
May 21, 1938
"A strange intensity glows Through its wild frame Sweeping all barriers flows Its mystery-flame."
What is this domestic broomstick work on barriers? If you mean, sweeping away, you have to say so.
Guru, I was rather depressed not to find any double lines in yesterday's poem.
I said it was a fine poem—that is the equivalent of lines.
I have tried to drag the Muse out; has she come out?
She has come out but trailing three cliché tails behind her. Most reprehensible conduct for a self-respecting Muse.
I am caught by a fear that the store is over and nothing new will come.
No fear!
May 22, 1938
I don't understand why Lele told you that because you are a poet, sadhana will be easy for you through poetry, or why you quote it either. Poetry is itself a damn hard job and sadhana through poetry—well, the less said the better! Or perhaps he saw within your soul the Sri Aurobindo of future Supramental glory?
Because I told him I wanted to do Yoga in order to get a new inner Yogic consciousness for life and action, not for leaving life. So he said that. A poet writes from an inner source, not from the external mind, he is moved by inspiration to write, i.e. he writes what a greater Power writes through him. So the Yogi karmachari has to act from an inner source, to derive his thoughts and movements from that, to be inspired & impelled by a greater Power which acts through him. He never said that sadhana will be easy for me through poetry. Where is "through poetry" phrase? Poetry can be done as a part of sadhana and help the sadhana—but sadhana "through" poetry is a quite different matter.
Dr. André said that he saw T walking one day. She should take complete rest for a week.
[Mother:] Rest is all right provided she remains in the open (on a terrace or in a garden). To remain all day shut up in a room is not so good.
May 23, 1938
T is much better today. But what about some prunes (tinned) to help her motion?
[Mother:] Yes, you can ask from Dyuman.
K found Wincarnis very good. It is over, should he have another bottle?
[Mother:] One bottle costs more than Rs. 3. It must be taken only if it is quite indispensable.
What about the man (B.S. worker) who fell and got wounded? is he not to come for treatment?
May 24, 1938
Guru, why for some time has my poetic inspiration waned? Does the Divine want me to stop for the time being or is it a temporary phase? At times I strongly suspect that you have left me to shift for myself, perhaps relieved very rarely whenever your Supramental leisure allows, by a little whiff Is that so?
It is probably because you had hitched on to a certain province of insight and inspiration from which the poetry came. Your abandonment of its "standing terms" (which was quite right, for one can't go on writing the same subject and language for ever) has pitched you off and now you are trying to hook on elsewhere but have not quite grappled your "moorings" into the right spot. Sometimes it catches on, sometimes it doesn't. E.g. in stanzas 1 and 3 hooked, in stanzas 2 and 4 dishooked, stanza 5 half-hooked, half-dishooked.
Which or what?
Neither and nought.
May 25, 1938
Guru, your theories are irrefutable, Sir! O wonderful, they are! I have hitched, I have pitched, I have hooked and dishooked!
But that is not a theory. It is a fact.
You take a fancy to hook me on to some "insight" and "inspiration" at very little expense of your Force and "golden sprats" are caught! Then suddenly you cut off the threads from below or above and my net is gone!
Excuse me—did nothing of the sort. It was you who got dissatisfied with the sprats because of the sameness in the shine of their eyes, fins, tails and other accessories.
Showing me a future possibility, you shut partially at least, the opening. Now I knock and knock—nothing!
Not at all! It is you have started tunnelling in another direction.
Can't make things so damn cheap, that's your idea, I suppose.
I don't "make" anything cheap or dear. They are so by nature. These, sir, are the usual vicissitudes of the poetic career and unless you are a Dilip or a Harin writing away for dear life every day with an inexhaustible satisfaction and producing tons of poetic matter' you can't escape the said vicissitudes.
How far does this poem go in the hooking business?
Much better. Only one stanza hookless.
Now a little about my prose [property]. Doraiswamy said that the mere fact of the property being in my name is not enough; for though the joint family is now disjointed, the other partners can claim a share in that property unless they have allotted it to me...
But what was the understanding when it was put in your name?
You see a tangled business. I don't think then even a pie will come to me. I don't know why creditors are not taking up the property. Has it not been allotted to me then?
You will have to get reliable information as to what is the real situation.
If it is left, it will simply be swallowed up by zamindars for nothing. If sold at least the creditors will get some amount and my 'fair name" not fouled!
Certainly, to sell is the only thing—only your right of property in it must be put beyond doubt. There is no profit in letting the zamindars get hold of it—except of course the profit to the zamindars. But why should you be philanthropic to that now much abused class? Get what you can out of it; even if it is only for your creditors.
Engineer (Mr. Sammer) has hardly had any motion for some days. No pain or mucus. Free purging by salts would have done good, perhaps, but I held off, giving a simple mild laxative. Enema not effective, he says.
[Mother:] Yet it is only "guimauve" enema that would do him good. Laxative is not advisable as he is working hard and must not be weakened. It must be due to exposure to the midday sun.207
May 26, 1938
Guru, some consolation that you realise I am "tunnelling". Please realise too that at some time the "tunnelling" may come to a bursting point!
Hold hard! hold hard!
The blessed stars have appeared again in this poem.
Never mind! Once in a way they can peep in provided they don't overdo it.
[Mother:] When is André expected to come back?
May 27, 1938
André will be going on the 3rd or 4th and will be back within a week. He is not allowed a longer leave as there are all new hands at the hospital.
Chand says that one day he will commit suicide due to lack of faith! My Gracious, are you specialising in a lot of sentimental screw-loose fellows as disciples?
It looks like it! What a museum! But this kind of collectioning has been my luck and not my intention.
May 28, 1938
In view of my present obstinate difficulty, sometimes I think if it wouldn't be better to go out for a while and come back perhaps changed, transformed. If it is so, please allow me and many others to go every year. Your Supramental work will be made half easier!
Logically, that would mean everybody in the Asram taking a month's trip to the Himalayas, Calcutta, Cape Comorin etc. and returning, if not as supermen, yet as fully-fledged psychic angels. Easy!
May 29, 1938
I've marked that at times Mulshankar doesn't like my interference or "orders".
That will not [do]. He must accept your orders, as he is there only as your assistant.
Reading Y's letter, if you have any suggestions to make regarding Mulshankar's work, please let me know. I am not satisfied with the way we are going on at present.
I don't know that there is anything to change. Datta and others give very good reports of Mulshankar's behaviour and attention to them when they go to the Dispensary in your absence. I am not prepared to believe otherwise on the strength of Y's solitary statement.
A hospital clerk requested me to speak to Dr. R to treat him for his heart-disease. If he is treating cases, shall I ask the clerk to approach him directly?
[Mother:] R is not taking cases just now—
[Sri Aurobindo:] S is complaining of a mysterious illness (fever) in which she gets very cold in the full heat of the day and her skin is cold outside but as hot as chilies inside. Perhaps as she is always complaining of catastrophic physical states like this, she might be shown to André like the other specimens.
May 30, 1938
S had slow fever for the last few days with plenty of perspiration. André finds nothing in the lungs. He thinks it is neurasthenia...
[Sri Aurobindo:] That was the Doctor's (Dr. Banerji's) view also.
He has given urotropine and gardinal for her nervousness, shall we give them?
[Sri Aurobindo:] She refuses medicines with contumely. She has by the way always had exceedingly scanty and difficult menstruation.
Here is a letter from X. You will see that a portion of it is addressed to Z. But Z told me I must not give her X's letters. So I hesitated to give it before asking you. I find that one has to be careful at every step to see on which sentiment, emotion etc. one is trampling. So, Sir, shall I give it to her?
I couldn't decipher X altogether. But if there is anything Z has to know (there is something about copies of something that has come out?) you can tell her without giving the letter—It is better to shut up about the rest. Z and X both in talk and otherwise have always upset each other and caused crises and shindies—no use risking a disturbance now that in his absence she is going on very nicely.
"Oceans or rocks of solitude For a winged release aspire..."
Weak?
It is not weak, but rather obscure. What is a winged release of oceans and rocks? However, it sounds well.
May 31, 1938
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