Pavitra’s personal diary where he recorded his meetings with Sri Aurobindo during 1925-1926. One may feel the direct touch of The Master in these conversations.
Sri Aurobindo : conversations
THEME/S
PAVITRA
Editor's Note
These conversations were held from December 18, 1925 to November 20, 1926. Pavitra, a French engineer of the Polytechnic School, arrived at Pondicherry on the 17th of December, 1925, having come from a Mongolian lamasery where his spiritual search had driven him, after his having spent four years in japan. He never left Pondicherry again, where he lived for forty-four years in the service of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. He left his body on May 16, 1969. These brief conversations were noted from memory, most of the time in French, except towards the end. Hence, they do not represent the exact words of the Master, but are as faithful a record as possible. Pavitra was then 31 years old.
Friday, December 18, 1925
YOUR going back to France at the moment would be a defeat. You would fall off from the state of consciousness of which you have caught a glimpse. It could even be worse. Perhaps after a few years you would get over it, but in any case, you would be missing an opportunity and failing in what you have to do.
You bring a sincerity of heart in your search and the aptitude of your mind for learning (for reserving your judgment). But your mental activity is harmful ; you must make your mind silent.
A new consciousness is seeking expression in you. There are in India people, yogis, who can help you in this and give you a new birth. But there will be some difficulties in finding them, for you do not speak their language and they are often hard of access. This, however, is one of the solutions before you.
This spiritual consciousness will give you mukti. Personally, my yoga would be finished if my goal were liberation. Mukti is only the first part. The second is to bring down the light into all the instruments, to make them perfect and to become the embodiment of Truth. The universal truth and power will then act through you and by your instrumentation. It is true that people are more or less unconscious instruments of the Shakti ; but it is a question of remaining perfectly conscious.
This perfection of man is difficult—very, very difficult, and it is a life-time's work. One may fail and make a mess of one's life. It is in fact so hard that I do not advise anyone to take this path. However, there is a powerful aspiration in you and something which is seeking to come down. So I put this ideal before you. If you choose it remain here, with us, and see what I can give you and what you can take from me before going farther.
Sunday, December 20, 1925
There is in us a region which is above space and time, immobile, immutable, at first ; it does not participate in the waves of emotions and thoughts. The first step is to centre one's consciousness in this region and keep it there : this is mukti. In us, beyond our personality, the Purusha is seen, with many attributes which are successively unveiled.
First of all, he appears as the witness of actions and sensations, untouched, unalterable.
Then he manifests as the giver of sanctions : he approves or refuses his consent to a movement of Prakriti : desire or thought or even action. When such an order is given, as for instance, the refusal to take part in a certain emotion, though the past is yet strong, the being turns away from that emotion.
Then, Purusha is the Knower and in him is the knowledge. This knowledge has several forms : the lowest is intuition, then comes the knowledge in unity. In any case, the senses are no longer avenues of knowledge : it comes directly.
Finally, Purusha reveals himself as Ishwara, the Lord. Governing and acting through his instruments he at last takes his kingdom in his hands.
This is accomplished in two stages.
At first the contact is mental—zone of the spiritual mind (Buddhi ?). Man recognises his mind, his emotions and his body as not-himself. He feels himself existing above them—above the spatial and temporal form. He has peace and certitude.
To reach this, the first thing (and specially for you) is to stop the thoughts at will. One must first separate oneself mentally from the mind (for one is not yet capable of doing it otherwise), must look at it and study it. When that is done it becomes easy to stop the thoughts. This is the first lesson of Yoga. Thus, whilst talking with you at this moment, I have no thoughts. I see what is around me but without thinking (unless I want to do so and call the thought). When I began Yoga I went in search of Lele to ask him to help me. He ordered me to sit beside him and practise this mental separation. At the end of three days I had succeeded and slain the thoughts.
There are other means of arriving at this, like the one of sitting down and opening oneself to the influx from above, so that this working may be accomplished from above without any personal effort. To you I would recommend the first method. Till this first realisation everything is mental. And intuition is only fragmentary, uncertain and intermittent. One must go beyond. Little by little, strong aspiration brings about (sometimes suddenly) the irruption into the consciousness of something new. Some-times it is a peace, solid like a rock. Sometimes a light, almost physical, which illumines all things, inner and outer. Sometimes a guidance. In any case, ineffable peace is followed by knowledge.
Besides, all this descends from above below. And not as with the Tantriks starting from the lower cakra. But on the contrary from above.
So—for you—the first aim: to separate yourself from your mind and know it as outside you. To take the attitude of the witness. Let the thoughts come but do not let yourself be carried away by them. Practise during meditation. Then, you will have to infuse into daily life what you establish first in meditation.
Tuesday, December 22, 1925
It seems to me that there are two levels in the mind: the first attends to images and forms ; the second to words and ideas. Beyond this is the principle of comprehension (Buddhi). I can easily dissociate myself from the lower mind. When I recall to memory an idea or phrase which I have just expressed, I can also remain detached. But when for instance, I reason, I am one with my mind (more exactly Buddhi is joined to manas).
This is true—but there is yet a third thing, it is the mind in itself, different from the forms and ideas it produces. It is a principle which pervades the whole universe—calm and transparent. Most people—and you also—identify yourself with the mind and its activities: you confuse the mind and its activities. You must succeed in separating yourself from Prakriti and knowing yourself as the Purusha.
The method I was taught was to kill all thoughts when they appeared before me, quite simply by looking at them steadily.
You say that you sleep, for indeed the only form of silence ordinary man knows for the mind is sleep. But this must be overcome—it is a known obstacle which all must overcome. Reject sleep as you reject other ills of the lower nature. You have the strength to do it, being the Purusha.
Then one of the following two things will happen: either you will remain fully conscious but with the mind empty, or you will have this consciousness but not in the waking state, that is, you will be in Samadhi.
So, this work is the first step for you.
Friday, December 25, 1925
Remaining attentive facing my thoughts—I found that they disappeared immediately on my looking steadily at them. The means of killing them, hence, is to watch attentively and, as soon as one becomes conscious of any, destroy it thus. This succeeds quite well in the region of words but less in that of images. I can manage to remain thus, conscious only of my attention. But the mind is not dead. I feel it behind the door. At certain moments I have the impression that I shall soon lose consciousness (?).
Good, but you are still conscious of your effort to kill the thoughts. This is natural, but in time this will disappear also.
As for the loss of consciousness, do not fear. It might happen that, besides the two alternatives put before you last time, you could fall into an unconsciousness of which you would not keep any memory. You must try to avoid that and to attain either the waking state without mind or Samadhi.
Is reading harmful ? I do not need it much, and sometimes mental work is painful to me.
You must not make any mental rules. Do according to your inner needs. Reading is not harmful in itself.
Wednesday, December 30, 1925
I succeed for a few minutes in keeping myself attentive, empty of thought—but then the sensations return with a new strength. I do not succeed in turning away from a noise once my attention is caught there, for I have no object of concentration.
The first step is not to withdraw from all thought and sensation, but to consider them as outside oneself. There are two regions in the mind, one active, the other calm and attentive, not dragged away by the movements of nature. It is this distinction that you must make. You want to go too fast by suppressing even the thought: `I am not that'. At the moment this thought is your instrument.
Remain the spectator of your thoughts and sensations, recognising that they are outside you and do not affect you. Then the higher consciousness (Purusha consciousness) will descend and take possession of your mind.
But never struggle, for, in the mind, what you reject violently returns with a greater force.
To struggle is to enter into all sorts of difficulties.
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