On 9^th August of 1942, the three of us, my brother, Ma and I, reached Pondicherry. It was necessary to get permission from the Mother for Sri Aurobindo's and Her darshan. In those days the Ashram was not a large community and even the visitors who came from outside for darshan were not very many. Nothing like today. The Ashram made arrangements for the Visitors' accommodation only after the Mother had given permission for attending the darshan. A sadhak named Yogananda would fetch the visitors from the station and accompany them to their assigned place of accommodation. If the visitor was coming for the first time, he would also explain the other organisational details and help in the other necessary arrangements for the Dining Room coupon, etc. That year, we were provided accommodation in the ground floor of a two-story house behind the Governo's House. Amiyo-da, his mother, his brothers and sisters used to stay on the upper floor

In the evening, after our bath, we got ready to go to the Ashram. Yogananda had already informed us that the Mother's darshan took place in the evening. But we forgot to ask him about the exact time. Evening had set in when we came out of the house. I was most eager to have a glimpse of the sea and asked my brother if we could go by the sea-front to the Ashram. On my insistence he agreed. Ma, my brother and I were walking along the sea when we passed by a fountain spewing coloured water in a place called 'Selva Park'. I had never seen such a beautiful fountain. The glass tubes in different forms and shapes had different coloured water inside them and the shapes were of a bird, a kitten and even a mouse! Admiring this wonderful sight, I did not realize how much time I had

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stood there. When we became conscious of the late evening, we at once got out of the park and started hurrying towards the Ashram. Obviously, Ma and my brother had urged me a number of times to come out and proceed to the Ashram but my child's heart was so absorbed in watching this marvellous fountain that I kept detaining them by saying, "Just a little bit more!" But now it was quite late. In those days, the sea-front was not what it is today. There was no concrete pavement, there was no raised parapet along the sea, just sand all along. The lane for cars was filled with stones and pebbles and made walking difficult. But since we had been delayed we somehow managed to walk over this stone-filled road and reached the Ashram gate. There was a light burning above the main gate. I noticed a gentleman coming out with a big pot of flowers. Later found out that it was Champaklal-ji's brother, Bansidhar-ji. My brother asked him, "Could you kindly tell us what time the Mother's darshan is?" He replied, "The Mother's darshan? But that ended a long time ago!" And saying this he walked away. My brother turned towards me and started scolding me. I had made them miss their first day's darshan of the Mother! We still went into the Ashram. Ma said she wanted to go and talk a little to the Ashram secretary Nolini-da and urged us to follow her. This was Ma's second trip to Pondicherry and so she knew Nolini-da. We entered Nolini-da' s room and bowed down to him. My brother asked Nolini-da about the Mother's darshan. Nolini-da replied, "The darshan got over a long time back. Come back tomorrow." We came out of the Meditation hall. My brother's face looked grim and I felt miserable because of his scolding. Then all of a sudden, a sadhak (later I was to find out that he was Champaklal-ji) called out from the Meditation hall staircase, "Is there anyone who has not had the Mother's darshan?" My brother excitedly exclaimed, "Yes, we haven't had the Mother's darshan!" "Hurry up. then, Champaklal-ji urged us. The Mother is waiting." And he turned around and went up the stairs. That day I did not know who Champaklal-ji was but later on he became very affectionate towards me. Hardly had we heard his words that

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we began climbing the stairs on the double! We reached the landing (where today is hung the message 'Cling to Truth') and from there I could see, standing on the last step above us near a door, a heavenly goddess! I had never seen anything like this before! She was wearing a white silk sari and her head was covered like a married Indian woman's. A diamond crown glittered on her head. How beautiful Her face looked and her complexion was the colour of a pink rose! Her divine smile was indescribable! This was the Mother I had seen in my dream in Calcutta! With that marvelous smile of Hers She stretched out both Her arms towards me. I ran up the stairs and fell at the Mother's Feet. Like soft lotus were her rose-coloured Feet! How long I remained with my head on those Feet, I do not recollect. Then the Mother raised me up with both Her hands. Then. . ..then She lifted my chin and kissed me on my forehead! I have no memory of what happened afterwards or how I came down. My memory is an utter blank. I just know that I was to be blessed with many more darshans of the Mother but the grace of that first darshan, that kiss on my forehead, that first exchange of looks, that experience will remain to me most significant. Perhaps on that day, at that very instant, I had received my initiation from the Mother.

The next morning all three of us returned to Nolini-da. Before we could say anything, he said, "So, finally you had the darshan. The Mother was waiting for you. Ma asked Nolini-da, "How did this happen, Nolini-da? Did She know that we were going to come?" Nolini-da replied, "Of course, the Mother knew! Champaklal told me this morning that sometimes even after the Mother's darshan is over, She does not go in for Her dinner. She simply stands and waits there. That is when Champaklal comes down to enquire if anybody has not had Her darshan. Yesterday, Champaklal came down thrice to find out if anybody had missed Her darshan. Only then did he report to Her that everyone had had the darshan. Even after that, the Mother did not go back in. Champaklal observed that in such cases there was inevitably someone or the other who had been waiting for Her darshan." We were all

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stunned to hear this. Ma's eyes welled up with tears and she said, "Indeed, how very fortunate we are, Nolini-da!" I was standing on Nolini-da's left. Stroking my head with his hand he said in a voice brimming with tenderness, "It is nothing but Grace!"

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