Living in The Presence

The Dress-Rehearsal Of The 1st December Programme

    Mother - Keep trying. It will come.

    The Mother concentrated on me and blessed me, probably giving me a little bit of force to enable me to get on with the composition.

    It was November of 1954. I do not recollect the exact date. After Her game of Tennis, the Mother came to see my rehearsal. It was my test before the Mother. At the designated time, She came and sat facing the stage. The stage had been set up on the western side of the Playground between Milli-di's egg-distribution service and Gauri-di's house. At that time there weren't many people in the Playground: a team of electricians, Vishwanath-da and the regular people who stayed around the Mother, and the music-composer of my dance, Sunil-da. I don't remember any other people. Then the music started and I began my dance. The bhakti-part went off quite well. I was totally alert while dancing to this music. Then, it was time for the aspiration dance. Somewhere in the middle of the musical composition, I lost myself. Everything disappeared from my consciousness, the stage, the screens, the Playground, just everything! I felt light like a bird-feather, wafting in an empty space. After some time, I returned to my normal state. The dance was over. The Mother stood up from the chair and started walking towards the stage, towards me. At once, I too moved closer and came and stood next to Her. She smiled with exceeding sweetness:

    There was such sweetness and affection in her way of saying 'It was good'!

    I - Mother, did I manage to do what You had asked me to try?

    Mother - In parts. A good part of your attention was still too much on the spectators. But your dance was not bad. It was not bad.

    I bowed at Her feet. The Mother took my right hand into Hers, and started walking with me away from the stage, towards where Sunil-da was standing all by himself. Still holding my hand, She took me to him and asked, "From where did you find this music?" Sunil-da kept quiet. The Mother kept looking at Sunil-da in a deeply loving way. Then, She went into Her room in the Playground. The Mother called both Sunil-da and me separately to Her room. She gave me some flowers and blessed me and said once again, "The dance was good." Sunil-da also had a separate meeting with Her.

    Dancing to Sunil-da's music was quite an extraordinary experience. Absolutely unforgettable. The music he had composed for the aspiration dance was perhaps the harbinger of the future music of the new world, what became subsequently so clear, what the Mother called the 'Music of Tomorrow, the Music of the Future' . The 1^st December programme of 1964 was a dance-drama based on Sri Aurobindo's The Hour of God. We had requested the Mother to record this piece in Her voice. She had graciously accepted. After the 1^st December programme, Sunil-da made use of this recording to compose a new piece and incorporated the music for my 'aspiration' dance in it. This very unusual composition of Sunil-da's was called 'The Hour of God'. As there were several other items in the 1^st December programme, the Mother could not spend a lot of time with me on my dance composition. However, all of us who had taken part in the day's programme had been given the privilege of seeing Her and being blessed by Her.

    I would like to end this piece by expressing my gratitude for being able to spend time with the Mother on several occasions in my endeavour to compose this short piece, right from the 24^th of April when I danced in front of Her, until the end of November. She showed me how to awaken this aspiration within me, how to open oneself physically to the Mother and rise in this effort. The Mother showed me on quite a few occasions, through some movements of Her own body, how to express it. I just cannot describe in words my utter gratitude for this experience. It is part of those unforgettable moments of exceeding joy I have felt in Her presence. Sometimes, She explained to me in words, by describing how to awaken this aspiration in the body. Thanks to this short composition, I was able to come so close to the Mother. I am indeed blessed for receiving this Grace from Her.

    Now that after such a long lapse of time, I have sat down to write, and those bygone days have come alive again, like vivid pictures unfolding before my eyes. I tell myself that maybe the Mother had seen in my body, my movements a glimmer of possibility of new creation and that is why She had impelled me on this new path; but I could not prove totally worthy of it. It brings to mind something that She said but which I will express in my own words: To keep repeating what man has done in the past is not our work. We must work for new discoveries, for a new creation. The Mother always inspired and pushed us towards this new creation. What was done in the past, will remain, no doubt. But She never tired of telling us to try and always infuse whatever we were creating with one's inner light, one's distinctive stamp. She never tired of encouraging us. When I think of this new creation, I at once think of Sunil-da's contribution; it is simply incredible, the exceptional work he has left behind in the world of music. In this 1^st December programme what had profoundly stirred me, besides this privilege of coming into Her divine presence, was Sunil-da's music.

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