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... Logically, there has to be a Mother of Ignorance. (Satprem to Sujata:) What did the Mother of Ignorance do? (Sujata:) In my dream?... I had a long dream, and towards the end, I met her. I had to go through a place, and I told her, "I must go to the Light, to the Mother of Light." (Satprem:) And then? (Sujata:) Then the dream vanished. ( Mother did not hear ) You met her... of Light. Oh, ( laughing ) and then she left! (Sujata:) But she was there as if ... She were governing. Yes, Mother, as if she were governing. That's right. Page 157 What are those regions?... There are any number of regions. There are unimaginable things. But where is that? I don't know. (Satprem to Sujata:) Tell your dream. ( Mother continues ) It must be... and solemn... Oh!... ( Mother laughs ) ...for the offer of the Serpent to be resisted. Truly admirable! ( silence ) ( Turning to Sujata ) So next time, if you see her, just tell her, "Your time will soon be past." (Sujata:) I simply told her, "O Mother of Ignorance, it is to the Mother of Light that I want to go." And it was enough! ( Mother laughs ) ...

... had kept other things too). And everything has disappeared. I don't even know if that contraption still exists.... It still exists, says Sujata. ( To Sujata: ) Will you go and see? If it still exists, will you bring it? That would be amusing. ( Sujata goes out ) ( silence ) I'll try. That place where I used to see you was an experience of the higher mind, just above the mind, and since... ) Oh, it's amusing! This is a pencil sharpener! ( To Sujata: ) Do you use pencils? Not much, Mother, no. There are erasers, but they must be so old!... Is there nothing you'd like to have?... Some old trifle there?... If you find something you would like—but you would have to use it, not to keep it in a corner. (Sujata) No, Mother, it's fine where it is, with your things. So... So the next time, we'll see the papers, I absolutely want to find those photos of you, and that letter. ( To Sujata: ) Is there nothing here you'd like? No? I won't dare to use it, I'll be tempted to keep it. This I used all the time. It's what I used—take anything! ( Sujata takes a pencil ) Ah, these are good pencils!... Do you want the pencil sharpener? Take it ( Mother laughs ). ...

... temperature? A little, I think. But Sujata, yesterday, had a very high fever. It's gone, so now there's weakness. Bah! And what do you do to treat yourself? Nothing. You're not doing anything? I take aspirin once in a while. But she isn't taking anything. You must go and rest, mon petit. ( To Sujata: ) And you're going to bed! (Sujata) After two days in bed, I get tired... September 21, 1968 Mother, it would be good if I could have your protection, and Sujata too—both of us. Why? We're not in good physical health. Oh! What's wrong? Sujata has been running a temperature for several days, a high temperature; last night she fainted and was as if "thrust" against the wall: she hurt herself... × Before going to sleep, Satprem saw all kinds of suggestions pass by, in particular one showing Sujata thrown down into a water tank that is being dug in the garden. A few hours later, Sujata was thrown down very near the water tank, against an iron bar in the wall. Thus the really serious accident was averted and turned into a minor one (which ...

... here these fragments.... ) Today is soup day! Here. Chicken... a whole lot! I only give you once a week. It's a lot! Page 50 This ( to Sujata, showing a box ) I must show her... Would you like some work? (Sujata:) Yes, Mother. Here, I got this yesterday They're supposed to be special biscuits—of course, I can't eat, but if you think you can crush a few... Yes, Mother... You do eat some? Because otherwise they'll get spoiled. So do you think you can crush a biscuit? One at a time. (Satprem:) Not more than one?... Maybe two? Two will be a lot to eat. (Sujata:) Or one and a half? Eating two at one go is a lot for me! One is enough. Do you crush them by hand? Yes, Mother. Then you can do one. If you took some in the afternoon? It would... Early morning, would it be convenient for you? I take my breakfast at 8:30 in the morning, is it too early? (Satprem:) She does it at 5 in the morning! I get up at 4:30. Page 51 (Sujata, laughing:) Me too! So, in the morning. You'll do like this: one, two, three, four, five days.... Yes, Mother! Like that, it doesn't bother you? Not at all! "Bother," I don't know ...

... November 15, 1965 ( For some time Mother has been giving Sujata packets of ready-made soups from Germany, Sweden, etc. ) ...You'll become cosmopolitan, my child—cosmopolitan in taste. ( Sujata makes a face ) You don't want to? Is there something in your nature that doesn't want? (Sujata:) Food, ever since childhood I haven't liked eating. But mon petit, I have... is no argument to me—free, free, free! The taste for freedom. You mustn't be a little slave just because you were born from certain parents in such and such a place—it's by chance, not fate! (Sujata:) No, Mother, it's mostly the sense of smell. There are certain smells I find very hard to bear. But you must learn to bear them. Just do this: when you get a shock, stay very quiet and call—call... You must learn to see why it's there, why it's in the world—everything in the world is for the delight of being, so the delight must be there since it's everywhere! You only have to find it. ( Sujata:) But it could be someone else's delight! ( Mother laughs ) Towards the end You must sleep well. Yes, I have noticed that it's important to sleep a long time. As soon as you feel tired ...

... ( This conversation took place in the music room. Mother had asked Sunil, the musician disciple, and Sujata to come. ) Can anybody play the harmonica? ( laughter ) I've just been given a harmonica! It comes from Germany. ( To Sunil: ) Don't you know how to play it?... No? (Sujata:) Satprem would very much like to learn to play some instrument, Mother, you know. (Satprem:) But not... doesn't dare speak. Here is the thing: I like your music, and as for me, I no longer play!—I don't have the time. I never have an opportunity, I haven't played for the last twelve months; except when Sujata comes, then I run a finger over the keys. So it's quite impossible for me to play on January 1st, but I thought we could perhaps arrange something.... Today, I'll read you the message for the 1st (it... something with it. Do you know this instrument ( the organ )? Can you play it?... Page 308 There are pedals, mon petit, enough to make your head swim! I can't play that! ( laughter ) So Sujata will play the pedals, and I'll play the keys! If something comes, you can use it and do me some music for the 1st. And then, instead of recording here, we'll record your affair for everybody! ...

... didn't like it. (Sujata:) You're too stern, little Mother! Ah, there we are again! But I wasn't stern: I was in contemplation! (Satprem:) A stern contemplation. ( On the second calendar, the photograph shows Mother engaged in her translation work ) It's the last part of the Synthesis . 3 We were supposed to revise it together, but it doesn't work.... ( To Sujata: ) You know what... with those notes, we could establish something—you'll have to wait for some time! There are still several years to go. It doesn't matter, we aren't bored, are we? ( To Sujata: ) Are you bored? Tell me frankly, are you bored? ( Sujata laughs ) I don't need to ask HIM, I know the answer: "Oh, it's endless, it lasts forever, nothing happens, nothing takes place...." ( laughter ) Anyway, my children, that's... little white figure swaying on her stool ) There. You have recorded it, haven't you?... And we'll play it tomorrow Page 430 [for the Ashram]—that way, I won't have any work to do! (Sujata:) Is it "work"? You always have fun. It gives me fun.... I don't know, I don't know what I play at all, at all, at all! I barely hear it. There is something having fun "over there." If I listen ...

... Saturday, Mother. Page 61 Will the book be out then? I don't think so. Next week, I think. We'll fill it with force. ( Mother takes Satprem's hands. Then Sujata approaches. Let us note that Sujata had suggested to one of the attendants who prepares Mother's food to prepare some coconut water for her. The suggestions was reported to Mother. Behind Mother's reply we can glimpse... Mother’s Agenda 1971 March 3, 1971 ( After having approved the layout of the jacket for "Supermanhood" designed by Sujata. ) You have nothing to ask? Page 57 I have the feeling your look has changed a lot.... ( Mother nods ) For about a year now, and increasingly so, it has resembled Sri Aurobindo's... Before, your look was a "diamond look," a look... it was you, it was powerfully you. Now, it's... it's becoming like infinity. Oh, but my way of seeing isn't the same. Yes, as a matter of fact, Sujata wanted to ask you: when you look at people that way, what do you see? I think I see... the most exact thing to say is their condition, the state they're in. And then, of course, there are those ...

... the feeling I'm in the midst of a complete demolition. ( Mother goes within for a long time ) I have nothing to say. ( Mother goes back within, then Satprem draws away and Sujata comes up to Mother ) (Sujata:) Mother, when you look within the way you are now, what do you see? ( after a silence ) It's extremely mixed. Precisely the sensation that there isn't a clear-cut delineation... ion; not to take current events too much into account, you know. That's what I see—not so interesting! ( Mother laughs ) (Sujata:) But Mother, shouldn't the problem of India and Pakistan in fact be settled for the Centenary? That's what I was hoping for. (Sujata:) Yes, Mother. But nothing stands out. It would be marvelous, but.... Although to tell the truth, I am more and more absorbed ...

... for that growth in force, in power, not to be stopped. You must know the words because we had the opportunity to talk about them; but they're not what matters. I told you... ( Mother turns to Sujata: ) Sujata, you will hear, but you will keep it in your silent heart, won't you? Nothing must come out. 1 ( To Satprem: ) Bring your chair nearer, stay very near, be quite at peace.... I explained... Give me your hand.... × Since Satprem's illness, Sujata has accompanied him to see Mother, for he has been unable to carry the tape recorder. From now on and till the end, Sujata will participate in all the conversations. ...

... long enough! (Sujata:) You, too, are tall at night. I can't hear, mon petit, I am in a cloud! (Sujata repeats:) At night, when one sees you, you look tall. Of course! Oh, but I know that! All the people look small to me, Page 134 and that's the only thing that makes me notice—I am not aware of being tall, but they look small to me. I am tall. (Sujata:) You are at least... the effect to be the same and me to say, "Now I am fed up with people!" ( The important digression that follows was set off by a banal question: Mother asks Sujata if her new typewriter is working well. ) Page 136 (Sujata:) They have adjusted the keyboard in such a way that it's very hard to use the typewriter. But it's international, isn't it? Yes, but they have tried to "improve"... least this tall [Sujata points to the ceiling, about fifteen feet high]. Yes, I have noticed: I often look at people like this ( Mother leans over her armchair ). But it's perfectly natural, I don't have a feeling of being tall. ( silence ) Last night, at one point we prepared a certain number of things that were at the same time like food, medicine, and a way to transform Matter. It had different ...

... tomorrow, it's better for the Press. I am happy to see you.... ( Mother takes Satprem's hands ) Do you ( turning to Sujata ) know I was with you all the time? Do you know that? ( Mother touches with her finger the tip of Sujata's nose. ) Oh!... ( Mother remains looking at Sujata for a while, then resumes ) For an entire period I was absolutely inaccessible because I was in constant pain, so... remained conscious of it, but I kept a contact with everyone, especially with you; with you I had the feeling that nothing stopped, that I was seeing you regularly, that nothing stopped. And I saw Sujata too. It all depends on people's receptivity. I didn't have the slightest feeling there was a break in our relationship or anything of that kind—not the slightest. And it's only... well, it's only the... whether it will take months or years for the thing to become... clear. Then it can be cured. So, au revoir, mon petit, I am very happy to see you again, very happy. And you, mon petit ( turning to Sujata ), I have the feeling I literally saw you: I saw you every day and asked you to do things for me. I was there constantly, Mother. Page 26 Yes, I absolutely had the feeling... as if ...

... then, immediately the next day, all the news changed. Really extraordinary. What actually took place isn't what I saw, for it was seen years ahead.... But that doesn't matter, it's all right. ( Sujata comes in late. Mother hands her the handkerchiefs, laughing ) These are my handkerchiefs! We're always in a hurry, because life on earth is short, but when you see what is in the offing... (... personal questions. Well, ask. I have the impression that for about a year now there has been no creative force coming into me—no inspiration and no creative force. I was speaking about it with Sujata a few days ago, and she had a vision: she saw something like two enormous silver doors—which were closed. So I don't know, I wonder what that means. Why that closure? ( after a silence ) Page... like this, I become aware that there is no time anymore. I don't know how to explain it. It's entirely outside of time—it may be a minute, it may be an hour.... Something else. ( Satprem leaves, Sujata goes up to Mother ) And you? What do you feel? For me, Mother, it's very physical. Yes. Physical—an absolute silence.... Ah! ... Everywhere, inside, outside. It's physical ...

... October 3, 1970 ( Mother gives Satprem a calendar notepad, then a felt pen. ) What color is it? It's violet. The violet of power. ( Mother looks in vain for a green pencil for Sujata and finally gives her a blue one ) Do you have something? ( Mother goes into a long contemplation. Her breathing is better, becomes peaceful, but now and then there are involuntary movements... time is it? Quarter past eleven. Page 337 ( Mother looks a few times, but goes away straight off ) So the next time, you'll bring your book. ( After Satprem's departure, Sujata tells Mother about young women of her generation, who do not have the advantage of being "close to Mother" or in the circle of "important persons," and who suffer from never seeing Mother. This was... increasingly revealed their ambitious and therefore warped nature. Yet it was with that thick circle that Mother had to work almost daily, and that is what made her difficulty, if not suffocation. With Sujata, Mother agreed to receive in rotation a number of those young and simple elements—unfortunately, that new opening will soon be blocked by circumstances: a new serious turning point in Mother's yoga ...

... go as he should. But that has happened to me any number of times. If one isn't afraid, it's nothing. (Sujata:) Mother, why does it happen at night, most of the time? Because one is lying down! (Satprem to Sujata:) Have you felt something at night? Page 445 (Sujata:) Last night I had the same thing, and I perspired. Because at night, you're resting and passive, that is ...

... ( Then Mother listens to the Talk of 26 August 1953 about Love ) Sujata would like to ask you a question. (Sujata:) Mother, this Force of Love that comes—sometimes it comes, one feels, you know, one truly loves—why can't one keep it constantly? One should be able to keep it! (Sujata:) I think so too, one should, but one doesn't manage to keep it. Mon petit... it's ...

... one thing after another, one thing after another ( zigzag gesture )... to remove the scales from your eyes. ( silence ) For Sujata it's not quite so simple. From a strictly external standpoint, I have no doubt that it would be both pleasant and instructive. But Sujata is in a rather special relationship [with me]—in fact, she does the yoga without doing it; I mean she benefits automatically from... after! It is the labyrinthine path through the circumstances of physical life. That's just as clear as can be. But the reason behind the idea was my physical condition. I hadn't thought of Sujata at first; I simply saw... I don't know. I'm tired all the time, it's true. My reserves are all used up. Anything extra exhausts me. And on top of it, there's also a discouraging psychological state... A lack of vitality, too much tension; I don't know—maybe the climate saps me. A certain number of physical things making it.... Anyway, that's what's behind the idea. What you're asking of Sujata is nothing short of sacrifice. Not outwardly, perhaps, but it would be a sacrifice for her. She would be sacrificing something to you, something very precious.... To help you she would have to sacrifice ...

... done for Sujata? What did the doctor say? They are going to operate on her tomorrow. Did he say it should be cut out? Yes, but since she mentioned it to you, it has become much smaller! ( Mother laughs and examines Sujata's cyst: ) Does it still hurt?... It's better to remove it because if a small bit is left, it will start again. But it's true, it's smaller. (Sujata:) And it... as I pictured it, was very golden—clear and golden; and I wanted to give him something with it, I don't remember what. All this is symbolic, probably. But... 3 Before Satprem and Sujata leave, Mother again examines Sujata's cyst, concentrating: You know, the trick (there is a trick) is to tell the cells that that's not at all what is expected of them; that, as I told you the other... displays—very modest. And very quiet. Page 158 × In fact the cyst has grown smaller almost by half since Sujata mentioned it to Mother four days ago. But "out of habit" it was still operated upon! × See conversation ...

... ( To Sujata: ) Type it for me, I want to give it to Nava. Human life and mind are neither in tune with Nature like the animals nor with Spirit—it is disturbed, incoherent, conflicting with itself, without harmony and balance. We can then regard it as diseased, if not itself a disease. Letters on Yoga , 22.499 Page 249 Later: No questions?... And Sujata?... ... Only, it's not automatic, it still depends on the attitude. It's not something that imposes itself, it's a consequence. ( long silence ) Mother, there's a curious phenomenon happening with Sujata: all at once she'll faint. Oh! She'll fall to the ground.... Without any reason, just like that, the contact is suddenly broken and she falls. ( after a long concentration ) Only, it's... materially, it's the blood that doesn't reach the brain. I am afraid she doesn't eat enough. Yes, I also think so. She doesn't eat properly. Isn't there something you'd like to eat? ( Sujata shakes her head ) Page 253 × One might say, coagulated in that. ...

... what one carries in one's subconscient... one must eliminate that by one's own will, little by little. But this Light is all-powerful, mon petit! ( Speaking to Sujata: ) You too can do the same thing if you have enemies at night. (Sujata:) I have seen it, you know, that white light. Have you? Yes, I have. Well, that's very good. You are a good clairvoyant, so of course you have seen... free play: the full Presence—in one second it was all gone. But the collective suggestion, the collective atmosphere is so... rotten, I may say, that it acts all the time. But you ( speaking to Sujata ) are one of those who can say that when I come at night, I am tall and strong. And at night, I work, I am tall, I am strong. And it goes on moaning! It's idiotic. Not only idiotic, but there is still ...

... more to... to receive what must be. There is a state—an essentially pragmatic state, spiritually pragmatic—in which of all human futilities, the most futile is metaphysics. A little later, Sujata asks for Mother's permission to consult an eye specialist: Is it just to change your lenses? To have my eyes tested, too. To have them tested? Mon petit, you can see ten people, those ten... putting you back in contact with the old-never-ending-story: "If that story amuses you, we'll go through it again." Well, they are no longer amused, they don't feel like going through it again. ( To Sujata: ) But this is another matter: if you have a nice goodwilled doctor, very patient, very experienced in lenses and with a magnificent collection of them (!), if you go and see him and he takes some... some trouble, he will be able to help you. But a gentleman who, with all his so-called science, looks down on you and tells you, "You have this and that and such-and-such a deformation..." (Sujata:) I don't think there's any deformation, nothing, it's inside rather, as if the canals weren't very clean, so the sight cannot get through. ( Mother laughs ) What you're saying isn't very scientific! ...

... experience of Mother's; she described the place in which Satprem usually "rests" at night and from which he draws the atmosphere of his present book: a place very harmonious in color and substance. Then Sujata tells Mother a dream she had a few days ago. ) When you went to this place of harmony, did you play music? Because I saw you play music for him. That's something else. Possibly, I can't say... night before, I suddenly felt as if someone were telling me, "The best way to help him isn't meditation but music." And then I seemed to create harmonies and send them to you for your book. ( To Sujata: ) When was your dream? The day before yesterday. It was about two days ago, two or three days ago. You see, I was thinking of the uncertainty and insufficiency of our meetings [because of... him in contact with musical waves." Because they are there all the time, all the time—marvels. So then, maybe that's what made me go to that place [where Satprem rests] and that's what ( turning to Sujata ) gave you your dream. And that's certainly what made me have that experience.... I didn't particularly notice music, but it's an extremely harmonious place: the atmosphere was harmonious, the colors ...

... have never seen that before. It has been there for two days. What is it going to be? What is it going to bring about?... I don't know. Listen, Sujata had a dream that's exactly what you've just described. Oh, but she's wonderful, your Sujata! She was looking at the sky, then she started seeing stars falling Page 43 down everywhere, like a rain of stars over the earth. And... that is to say, very low. It's something that has happened in the Inconscient. It's interesting. We'll see. × Sujata added: "The stars started falling into the sea, but there wasn't any more water! It was a solid surface, it was ice, a sea of ice like at the poles. And that ice was not dazzling white, but rather ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 December 10, 1964 ( From Sujata to Mother, following a visit to Pondicherry's hospital ) Little Mother, Satprem says he loves you dearly and he asked me how you are. Your child, Signed : Sujata ( Mother's answer ) Sujata, tell Satprem that I love him very much and that I am Page 311 with him all the time ...

... else? No, Mother. Page 37 Is your mother well?... I wanted to give her flowers. Here I have flowers for you, and also for Sujata—where is she? Sujata?... She's here! Here, behind my back? ( laughter ) No, right next to you! ( To Sujata: ) But we need roses for his mother. It was to you that Baron [Pondicherry's last French governor] said he wanted to be buried in my ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1967 October 4, 1967 ( Sujata gives Mother a flower called "Power to heal." ) Power to heal?... I saw in Planète the story of a man born in 1905, who for thirty-five years has been healing people by the laying on of hands! 1 His father was Italian, his mother Spanish, and he was born in France, he... short my conversation with N.S.?" That's how they found out. He told them, "But I was talking with N.S., why have you interrupted my conversation?" So they found out what had happened. There. (Sujata speaks out:) Sweet Mother, I too saw N.S. When? It was the year he died, but months later. Less than a year later: eight or nine months. I saw him, he had come to my house (it was in the night... × Albert: the Ashram's kind tailor. × Sujata explained: "He was very tall, as high as the door. And he asked me news of his wife." ...

... thought, which he almost told Mother: "If a caterpillar's vision were suddenly changed into a man's vision, it would clearly mean a bursting of its whole logic." ) ( long silence ) And you ( to Sujata ), do you have something to say? Very often, afterwards when I am in front of you, I feel... I can't hear. After Satprem leaves, I come and do my pranam. 3 Then, in front of your gaze... the power of vital plasticity.... Probably there are in that way families of beings. ( Mother plunges in ) Do you get a special sensation when you have that? Do you feel something special? (Sujata:) Right now, it's as if very interiorized, and at the same time with the inner being in front: both at the same time, like that. Yes. ( Mother plunges in again ) ... That may well be the whole problem. × Generally, when Satprem leaves at the end of the conversation, Sujata remains alone with Mother for a few moments. ...

... you know. Oh, indeed, tremendous!... It... it comes like this ( massive gesture ). It seems generally that people were very happy, so that's all that's needed. What do you ( to Sujata ) say? ( Sujata looks at Mother with a lost look, Mother caresses her cheek and laughs ) You see, it's like following the story of someone else with an interest which... not even with great interest, not... all. Oh, I would rather hear your chapter. Page 50 Here is my pension, Mother. You don't need anything? No, no, Mother! You give me everything I need. Really?... ( To Sujata: ) Tell me if it's true that he doesn't need anything. No, Mother, he doesn't need anything! ( Reading of the end of Supermanhood, Chapter 16, "The Season of Truth." ) ...

... always the devil, as soon as you see even the tail of pessimism, it's the devil. That's his great tool. ( long silence ) Page 143 ( Satprem gets ready to leave, Sujata comes near Mother ) Mon petit.... (Sujata:) Mother, do you remember the other day, when I saw those two eyes appearing on your forehead 1 (you remember, I told you), was that the Wisdom appearing? Perhaps?.... Do you still see them? No, Mother. We'll see. ( Mother caresses Sujata's cheeks ) × These past few days, Sujata had seen two eyes appear on Mother's forehead (a very high forehead), rather far above her physical eyes. She could clearly distinguish the eyelids and the half-closed eyes as if they were about to ...

... cheese for one week?! Yes, yes, Mother. Are you sure?... Because cheese is good for you. If you want more, there's nothing easier... ( Mother peers at Satprem's face ) Ah, it's yes! ( To Sujata ) Go and ask for a box. You think of everything! You know, I don't "think," but things come like this ( gesture as if on a screen ). All of a sudden I see, so it must be true, it's not my ... consciousness! Ah, mon petit, I see much more than what you're aware of! ( Mother laughs ) It's in your subconscient. Have you some news of P.L.? No, he is supposed to arrive any day now. ( Sujata comes back with the box ) Here! Eat it, cheese is good for you. If one could be more conscious... Yes! But I don't know how to do it! Page 279 ( Mother laughs )... Last night ...

... one bomb that's enough to destroy the whole of Paris. Yes, certainly! ( Mother sweeps her hand across her forehead long silence ) Do you have anything else? ( Sujata slips a note into Satprem's hand ) Sujata asks a question. She says: "If India called the Divine, would it not be a more effective way of stopping China?" Un-de-ni-a-bly! ( Mother laughs ) Undeniably. They don't ...

... outside... I didn't see the outside; I didn't see it at all, I only saw the inside. I wanted to explain to Paolo once I would have the papers, it would be easier, but since you called him... ( Sujata goes out and comes back with Paolo, who comes in with a garland of pink "Harmony." Mother gives him an orange hibiscus—Auroville's flower—looks at him, and starts speaking: ) Since we decided to... walls, that's very easy). And SILENCE. No talking inside! It will be fine. So as soon as my papers are ready, I'll call you to show them to you. Page 21 (P.:) Very good. ( To Sujata: ) Give me a rose for him. ( Mother gives two red roses, Paolo withdraws ) I didn't ask him if he had seen R. because... R. is quite in nowadays' "practical" atmosphere. Good, it has to start ...

... themselves quite a few diseases. ( Mother's voice is quite altered. She sounds more and more out of breath, as if her voice had to cut across great distances. ) ( To Sujata: ) ...We'll do that tomorrow—tomorrow morning? (Sujata:) But tomorrow morning, Mother, you have lots of engagements. But it's every day like that, mon petit! It's... it's absolutely frightful. There are only these two days ...

... looked for one, but I can't find. It should be someone a bit intelligent. It should be ready for February. But the book, don't show it to anyone until its over. There's only Sujata who reads and types it. ( Laughing ) Sujata, that's nobody! You know, it's magnificent. Oh, Mother, I have nothing to do with it, I assure you! I'd really like to hear the continuation. I hope it won't ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1971 April 29, 1971 ( These few words were said to Sujata at the time of her daily visit to Mother. Mother first asks about Sujata, then about Satprem. Then she sits absorbed. ) The world is going mad. We have to keep the faith like this ( gesture of clenched fists ). Not here ( pointing to the forehead ), but here, like this, in ...

... ally if you like, but with the support of combat." ( Mother nods her head several times and goes within for a half hour. Then Satprem gets ready to leave and Sujata approaches Mother ) This can go on for hours.... (Sujata:) Mother, what does a white peacock with a golden tail mean? Ooh! That must be the supramental victory. A white peacock is the integral victory; a golden tail is ...

... said, under lock and key in Pondicherry, we thought it fit to throw light on this journey to France by publishing, along with Mother's letters, a few fragments of Satprem's letters to Sujata. ) ( From Satprem to Sujata ) Paris For the past three days, I don't know how I've lived; I feel somewhat like a sleepwalker jostled about here, there and everywhere, walking, walking without quite knowing ...

... March 24, 1965 Anything new? Sujata had rather a bad dream: she came into a house which some people were supposed to keep a watch on, to protect, but no one had kept watch and so enemies had got inside. Sujata entered the house and found a room in which Sri Aurobindo was, and Sri Aurobindo's foot had been injured—he was ...

... disgraceful. Yes. It's disgraceful. I don't know, I only get echoes from Sujata, I don't really know what's happening, but I get the impression that a lot of your time is being uselessly taken up. Oh, it's awful. Imagine, nowadays I go upstairs at 6:30 or 7 in the evening. Well, yes, that's what Sujata told me. It isn't good. It's awful. And WHY? Sri Aurobindo says, in one of ...

... ( long silence ) It's strange.... Mother, Sujata has noticed that whenever I get a letter from P.L., I always have a headache afterwards. Oh! She's noticed it, and it's indeed like that. Oh!... But this too ( Mother points to her eye ), I am not sure it's not a result of... Yes, I wonder if there isn't some connection. Sujata has noticed it, she told me, "Every time you get a ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1967 October 14, 1967 ( The conversation begins an hour late. Sujata gives Mother flowers called "Transformation." ) [Millingtonia hortensis.] Two for you ( to Sujata ), two for you ( to Satprem ), and one for me.... It's to prompt the body to transform itself! ( Mother slips a flower through her buttonhole ) It tries its best, people ...

... like velvet. It's not fragrant, but it doesn't die. It's a flower without water. Someone has sent it to me. I find it very interesting. There are marvels in Nature. And see this small red dot.... (Sujata:) Yes, Mother, it's like a small flower of immortality. I'll give you one, but you must keep it carefully.... (Satprem:) Basically, it's the water of life that makes things rot. Yes, it's... are really very nice.... See this ( Mother shows a big red rose of a particular kind ), it's Sri Aurobindo. Wherever people grow this rose on earth, it's Sri Aurobindo. It grows as big as this. ( Sujata holds out to Mother a variety of white hibiscus ) When you switch the light on (I have a light in a tube, a fluorescent tube), they don't fade. When you put those flowers under the light, they don't ...

... very often, it's not something just random. She wrote to the government to tell them that they should take special interest in Auroville and do something. And she seems to have authority there. ( Sujata goes and sees who slammed the door, then comes back ) What is it? What happened? Someone opened this door, then closed it again, and nobody is there! Gone?... But isn't Champaklal there... appearance, too, haven't I? Haven't I changed? I wouldn't be able to say. You haven't noticed. Have you seen those photos? No, Mother. There must be a big beige envelope there. ( Sujata brings the envelope ) I don't know if they are the ones.... There's a photo taken in profile.... ( Mother and Satprem look at the photos ) You have very different expressions! Haven't ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1965 January 31, 1965 ( From Mother to Sujata ) Sujata, my dear child, I am with you always and with Satprem too. You must both be calm and trusting, all will be well. With all my tenderness Signed : Mother Learn, Satprem and you, to feel CONCRETELY my presence in your hearts. This is a wonderful opportunity to make this ...

... (Sujata:) Why is Pavitra in such poor condition? The doctor predicted he wouldn't be able to move anymore at all, and he climbs the stairs, goes here and there. Only, it's quite an effort. But the doctor said, "He won't be able to move anymore, he will be bed-ridden." So it's already a big achievement . It's an ankylosis of all the muscles. 1 (Sujata:) When I see him ...

... the people of her entourage in an attempt to make him understand her work: ) I had asked Sujata for two copies, but then I realized it wasn't at all necessary. I told you I would give it to A. for him to read, and when A. came, I showed him one or two of the latest [Agenda conversations] typed by Sujata—and soon lost any desire to try again. Well, when do I see you next? Today is the 15th ...

... them quite egoistically—could they be shown to Pavitra now and then? Do you want them to be kept absolutely confidential, or may I show them to Pavitra occasionally? It depends.... You can tell Sujata whatever you like. I have never said anything. I never say a word. You can tell her anything you like, it doesn't matter—just tell her to keep it to herself. Page 50 But otherwise... so much the better! If it helps you in your inner development, good, I have no objection—on the contrary. It's quite natural, the natural consequence of our meetings. But if while speaking with Sujata you feel that something might help her, I have no objection to your telling her—simply say that it's between the two of you. So far, I haven't said anything. You know how I am: I keep quiet, I ...

... And 72, that means 7 + 2, or 9. And this [the Sanskrit letter] is HRIM. It's one of the three essential sounds. I don't remember now, but each of them represents one aspect of the Mother. Sujata told me it's Mahalakshmi. Page 134 I was hesitating between Mahalakshmi and Mahasaraswati. ( Mother remains concentrated ) It is clearly taken as a symbol of the gestation of the... forgetting everything. I used to write my Sanskrit as I write French—all gone. One must learn to lose everything in order to gain everything. Always, every minute. There we are. I asked Sujata to prepare some orange juice for you—it should be prepared by someone who puts his heart into it. Good-bye, petit. × ...

... means? I sense a threat, something lying in wait; like a Fate lying in wait, very close, and as the end of the year draws near, it becomes heavier and heavier. Page 300 ( silence ) Sujata also felt it these last few months—but I've been feeling it for a long time. I sense something lying in wait, something hanging over her and over me—I don't know which of the two. In the past I didn't... were two years ago. Only, it may be that because of the work I am doing, you are brought into contact with a certain layer of possibilities and so you become more conscious of that.... As for Sujata, she must be unknowingly under your influence, so what you feel she feels too—that's my impression. I'll look, but I haven't seen anything lately. On the contrary, that thing I used to see over ...

... 1965 ( Letter to Mother from Sujata ) September 15, 1965 Little Mother, After what you said this morning, I am wondering if we, the young, do not as citizens of India have the duty of offering our Page 245 service to the country. Or at least to prepare ourselves for this possibility? Your child who loves you, Signed : Sujata ( Mother's answer ) For those ...

... understand anything. As for Pavitra, he clearly didn't understand anything. To them it's platitudes, mon petit! They take it just on the surface. But when Sujata reads it, she understands! Yet she didn't listen to you. But mon petit, Sujata is trained, she has typed it all, she has gone through it all. Anyway, I don't care. Personally, I'm very reluctant to touch up what you say under the ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1963 June 26, 1963 ( Letter to Mother from Sujata ) Wednesday Little Mother, I had a dream this afternoon. I told it to Satprem, who said I should write to you about it. I was on a staircase that looked like the one leading to the meditation room. Two Ashram girls, about sixteen or seventeen years old, were there, waiting to... house. At that point, I was awakened by servants before I Page 188 knew whether or not I was able to get out. With my pranams at your feet. Your child who loves you, Signed : Sujata ...

... × After Satprem had left, Mother remained silent for a long time, then turned to Sujata and told her, "Strange, very strange, I've never seen a lotus bud bowing down." Then, as Sujata looked at her without understanding, Mother added, "The heart lotus is always turned upward; it's the aspiration. Here, it bows down towards the earth ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1966 September 3, 1966 Sujata would need to be protected a little. She has been getting knocks continually for the past six months. ( Turning to Sujata ) Who's been hitting you? She has got at least four on her hands and she can't type anymore. Who from? She knocks herself, or else at basketball ...

... Yes, that's what I am saying. His entire book is like that: the outward path leads away from the Lord, and on the return path, you climb back to the Lord. [Turning to Sujata:] It's put like that in his book, isn't it? (Sujata:) That book... I don't know, I found it a little odd. Going back to the Divine, yes, that's Nirvana. Page 260 Only, as soon as you are there and in contact ...

... That was another impossibility. So with his reason and human common sense, he said, "The best is to swim across." But he hadn't foreseen (that was the reckless part) that the water would be icy. (Sujata:) But P. had already swum across the water once, because he wasn't part of the group that had the accident: they called him from the camp, he came and swam through that water, and the accident took... the body isn't accustomed to cold water, and when you are in water that's too cold, you get cramps. But P. was sufficiently protected to escape and be saved, while the other one met his end. (Sujata:) It seems the three boys were calling you (there were four, you know), the three were calling you and the one who drowned was only calling P. to his aid. But the other three were strongly remembering ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1966 October 22, 1966 (Sujata:) P. is ill. Ill again! But what's wrong with that girl? What should she do inwardly? Not be afraid of falling ill! That's what. You see, they say, "But I AM ill." They put it the other way around: they say they're ill, and so they are afraid. It's not true! They are afraid first, and then they... personally I have tried everything, without any result. When I tell them, "Time is up" with all the authority at my command, they tell me, "Yes." That's all it means to them! Ah, mon petit ( turning to Sujata ), tomorrow I have forty-two of them to see before you—forty-two people! 2 × Even at night a "bodyguard" stays ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1963 February 23, 1963 ( Regarding a dream, or rather an experience of Sujata, the notation of which unfortunately was not kept. ) She went to Sri Aurobindo's home in the subtle physical—the thing is true, real, concrete, as concrete as here. As soon as I got her letter, I saw: that's where she went... one night out of five or six. Otherwise, the entire night is conscious, and you cannot imagine the multitude of things that can be done in a night! Anyhow, it's good, I am very glad for her [Sujata], it's a very good sign. A little later: We have a great mathematician here who comes from Madras regularly, Dr. V. (you know him, don't you?), and for my birthday, 1 he played around ...

... it's the best. It prepares something far more complete, far deeper, far more integral than all that we can imagine. This is indisputable, there's no discussing it. Later, about the health of Sujata, who is eating next to nothing: ...When I was six or eight, I used to eat with my brother, and to get ourselves to eat we were obliged to tell each other a story! We were given meat, you see, pieces... brother, "I am an ogre... and Page 292 before me is half an ox," and with each slash of my knife I would carve my ox!—I would tell a story to myself and end up swallowing my beefsteak! (Sujata:) But he doesn't tell any stories. How many times I have asked him! He doesn't tell any stories? (Satprem:) She would like me to write tales—fairy tales. Do you know any fairy tales? ...

... character, for it is, alas, a good illustration of the kind of innumerable microscopic "avalanches" that assailed Mother from every side, daily. ) H. was so very vexed because I had this work done by Sujata that she has broken off all relations with me!... Except that she sends me letters of abuse every day! She wrote that she will no longer have anything to do with the work, with this, with that,... But after this letter, I received a sort of inner command to make one last attempt, and I wrote to her that it was HER SOUL that had asked me to act as I did. Because when I entrusted this work to Sujata instead of her, I had a moment of hesitation, then I went within to find out, and her soul exerted a very strong pressure for me to act in that way. I had always seen, at every minute, that her aspiration ...

... because those animals that live with man catch the malady, while those that don't live with man don't have it at all. ( silence ) Page 175 I saw this child ( Sujata ) on Sunday; I didn't look too great, did I? (Sujata:) No, Mother! I couldn't speak anymore.... Well, that's more or less something of my experience. Oh, it was ... many things, many more things than that. For two ...

... I'm not sure, either. Page 388 No. But I don't know why, I get the idea of a painter or a painting. A painter? ... Leonardo da Vinci? ( Laughing ) But he had a beard! ( To Sujata: ) Do you know this person? It's not the same Mother! Yes ( Mother takes one photo, then the other ): this and this are two different persons. But strangely, I know this very well, especially... surprised. Especially this one ( No. 14 ). Strange. And it's becoming more and more like that. As the body catches hold of the inner rhythm, it keeps increasing. It's probably not physical. (Sujata:) Somewhat Chinese! What is it? One day we'll know.... It's quite familiar. Yes. But my impression is like this: someone I knew very intimately, with whom I perhaps lived—but not "me," ...

... left hand, below ) is the material physical, and then, between the two, there is a confusion... or something that's not ready or... ( long silence ) Did you have anything else?... And you ( to Sujata ), do you have anything? Mother, on Friday morning I saw you, you called me, you showed me the wall and you told me, "Look, those two pictures will become real." And then? Then I started... What? (Satprem:) She started wiping and cleaning the wall so the picture would come out without difficulty. Page 192 Oh!... ( Mother smiles ) And did something come out? (Sujata:) There were two pictures. (Satprem to Mother:) Later on, you spoke of those two visions you had: the image of death (when you shot someone point-blank), and the vision of your supramental body ...

... plunges in again, now panting, now quieted. She gives a start again, shakes her head, then pants for breath again with brief quieter moments. Suddenly she sits up. ) And then the legs hurt. ( Sujata and Satprem try to massage lightly Mother's legs ) The legs hurt. ( long silence, now quieter, now visibly in pain, then Mother gives a start again ) That's what is tiring.... You see, twenty-four... him, as if they came from this light, "We shall conquer, we shall conquer...." × Soon afterwards, Sujata reminded Satprem of these lines from Sri Aurobindo's poem, "A God's Labour": I have delved through the dumb Earth's dreadful heart And heard her black mass' bell. I have seen the source whence her ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1971 September 14, 1971 ( Sujata's visit to Mother. The day before, Sujata had gone to the Cazanove gardens, in the suburbs of Pondicherry, to see the tombstones of Pavitra and Amrita. ) (Sujata:) Yesterday I went to visit Cazanove. Oh, why? To see Amritada and Pavitrada.... You know, nothing has been done, no work until now ...

... ( After Satprem's reading of the book, Mother asks that it be translated into the languages of India and mentions Bengali, Hindi, Oriya, and Tamil. ) ( To Sujata: ) You don't know an Indian language well enough to translate it? ( Sujata laughs ) And then the Nordic countries. Page 45 ...

... yes, oh, definitely!—It should be immediately.... Isn't it too late? Page 134 No.... We must try, at all events. It needs proper English.... Who can translate it? Can Sujata try? Sujata, are you literary? ( laughter ) It's full of power, that power has to be kept. ( after suggesting names for a possible translator ) What will we do with the translation then? Can ...

... doesn't come through. People won't go to such trouble.... Maybe one in a.... ( silence ) Do you want to have it read by an Indian? And ask him if he understands? Page 120 ( Sujata suggests a young teacher in the School. silence ) Yes, it has to be someone young. Some people believed that what we put in the Bulletin last time was meant for the people of the Ashram. So... understand wrong will understand wrong in any case. Page 121 I've just reached the same conclusion. So I said: I won't say anything anymore. Yes, in the end, you stop speaking! (Sujata:) Only, those who do want to understand will lose out—there are many. (Satprem:) But look, Mother, perhaps you're receiving some protests from a certain number of people, but there are many here ...

... least, the slightest possibility of reaction was over. I told you, the only thing I once did, and I found it a disgusting weakness, was to slap her. So there. ( Mother gives Satprem and Sujata flowers of "Sri Aurobindo's compassion" ) × See Agenda I, 26 March 1959 . ...

... that if, by living that, I could purge the world... then it didn't matter. We'll see.... We'll see. ( Mother holds Satprem's hands for a long time ) ( After Satprem leaves, Mother tells Sujata again about her experience on the roof, and makes a descriptive drawing, saying in substance: ) She was someone like you, about your height [five foot two], your dimensions, and I said to her, "You're ...

... experiences are as if multiplied a hundred times.... Only, it has difficulty learning. ( Satprem lays his forehead on Mother's knees. Mother gropes for flowers by her side. ) What's this? (Sujata:) I don't know, it's a new flower, Mother. 3 ( Mother nods ) Ah, isn't it! I feel it's a flower connected to what's going on. (Satprem:) It's a hibiscus, a "Power." Yes, it's a Power ...

... July 8, 1970 ( Mother looks tired. Her face is still swollen. ) Difficult moments... ( long contemplation till the end ) Do you have anything to ask?... ( To Sujata: ) And you? You know, Mother, it's very strange, three nights in a row, I dreamed of you and of food. Did you feed me? I fed you, or else I looked for food, or I prepared some. How ...

... Aurobindo, while this time he had completed it—he had nothing more to say. And also he had seen you. He had seen me on the darshan day. He didn't choose any other day. Page 169 (Sujata:) Has he come to you [after his departure]? Not in a form. I had an impression... Just when he left, I had... (I didn't know anything about it, I was in my bed—I don't sleep, of course), but I ...

... will have a sort of identity card, and afterwards, if things are fine at the end of the year, you're given the badge. But what came to me is this ( Mother points to her notes ). It's not over... ( Sujata prepares to bring a lamp for Mother to read ). I don't need light, I don't see clearly anymore. ( Satprem reads ) "Auroville is for those who want to live a life essentially [religious] but ...

... she saw that each soldier had my face. Interesting. She sent word to me this morning and she didn't even know war had been declared. For the moment it's not disturbing. But we'll see. Sujata says that her impression is that the transformation is now so stable, the basis is so well established, that no matter what happens, it can no longer be disrupted. Page 320 I have somewhat ...

... has nothing to do with me, Mother! Page 287 But it chose today, your birthday, to come. That's clear. So then, you'll come a little before 3 o'clock for Sunil's music. ( Turning to Sujata ) Naturally, if she wants to, she can come! We are happy together at your feet, Mother. Yes, she complements you well. ( Satprem puts his forehead on Mother's knees ) Page 288 ...

... "But see..." It was Page 89 so precise, seen in this new Consciousness. I told you, "So there..." But it was good. I told you, "See, you have no reason to be worried, things are fine!" ( Sujata laughs ) That I remember. And I explained to you why you aren't conscious when you're awake. It's a curious thing. When I am in that state, I am not asleep yet I am not awake; it's neither one nor ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1969 December 24, 1969 Sujata has discovered the photo of A.R.'s guru. Here it is. ( Mother looks at the photo ) What does he wear on his head? He has his "jata," 1 and a sort of plume or peacock feather in his hair. ( Laughing ) He looks like a good man. He must be a simple man. ...

... only write.... But I can't. Well, just have me called. Yes, that's it. It would always be around the same time. And then Wednesdays and Saturdays you come regularly. ( Satprem leaves and Sujata goes up to Mother ) Mother, I have something for you. What is it? We went for a walk yesterday and found this on the beach. It's mother of pearl, Mother. Ooh!... It's lovely. Oh, how ...

... 21, 1970 ( Mother translates a few extracts from Savitri, listens to half of the tenth chapter of Supermanhood and remains absorbed most of the time. ) It goes on inside. ( To Sujata, after Satprem has left. ) On December 5 and 9, you two will come after the [collective] meditation. I won't translate, but I want to listen to Supermanhood . 1 It's very good.... It's more ...

... eyes luminously open, then goes within for a half hour ) It can last indefinitely.... The impression of touching something and... ( gesture of something escaping ). What did you feel? Once Sujata made me understand what I feel when I am near you; she said, "It feels as if the body were made to pray when one is near you." Well, that's what I feel, a power which seems to seize all the parts of ...

... was, this perpetual battle—oh, what a battle.... So when you write of the victory, perhaps I too will do a victory dance! Page 429 ( A little later, Satprem tells Mother how much Sujata misses seeing her. ) I know; some people have even fallen ill. But I am at the mercy of such things, 2 you understand, that's exactly what's happening. At times you feel that as far as health ...

... Agenda 1963 December 29, 1963 ( Note from Mother to Satprem ) Satprem, mon cher petit, On the 31st I will see you in the music room, and I would like Sujata too to come at 10 A.M., because I want to try different key boards of the organ, and she will help me arrange them. My tenderness is ever with you signed : Mother ...

... (because I was interested, the experience was completely new), I asked, "Any difference?" And I was told you were much better. Page 149 ( Mother gives a rose to Satprem ) And this one for Sujata: open like her heart. ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 April 23, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) Paris It's hard, you know, life here is hectic, harried, you always have to see people, always have to run about—life doesn't have time to live, nothing has time to be. My brother, too, suffers from this life and would really like something else, but they are so tied up, bound hand and ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 May 17, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) St-Pierre Of course, Nature is wonderful, the sea is so beautiful, the climate delightful, but ultimately, when I close my eyes and meditate, I feel something fuller and more solid than all the degrees centigrade on a pearly sea. In reality, I spend my days waiting for my hours of japa ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 May 21, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) St-Pierre This morning I have received your letter of the 16th and am surprised that I paid you a visit because, on my part, I didn't see you—still nothing, complete blackout . This too disgusts me—I really Page 118 don't know what I am doing... probably useless and silly ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 July 4, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) St-Pierre Outside, everything is agitated and running around and making noises, but inside I was all along as if on an island of Peace—at home. And even the most beautiful landscapes of the world were not as full, not as quiet as this home in my heart. S. Page 122 ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1963 November 4, 1963 ( Mother looks tired ) Yesterday, I had resolved to see Sujata, and they kept me standing there arranging objects, perfectly unnecessarily, under the pretext that there are showcases, that visitors are expected and that the objects should be arranged in the showcases.... After spending ...

... chanced on it on a second track of the tape-recording. He found it charming and inserted it back here. Quite often he deleted these beginnings of conversations.... Here the subject was his health, Sujata having written to Mother that it was deteriorating" and proposed that a supplementary diet be given him. ) So, let me contemplate you! ( laughter ) How are you, mon petit? There is some ...

... material: it's not up above, it is material. And that's what must come to the fore and take the place of the other. The "true physical" Sri Aurobindo spoke of? The true physical, yes. (Sujata:) That evening, N.S., too, ran barefoot on glass splinters, and nothing happened to him. Yes, that's how it is. And the brickbat that fell on the window here, I know why it hit its mark, I SAW ...

... ' I wondered. The same thought came to me three or four times. Then she is thinking about it—perhaps not consciously, but in her subconscient. It happened some time ago. I even spoke to Sujata about it and said that someone over there was calling you. Did she tell you? No. That your mother was pulling on you. She had Z write to me. As I said, I have done nothing, neither ...

... there you are, petit; it will come. × Strangely enough, some years earlier, when Satprem was writing L'Orpailleur , Sujata had a vision in which she saw him typing, and from the typewriter came, not typewritten lines, but music! ...

... were told about your karma, I had already seen certain things about you and was trying to set you free—not from the thing itself, but from the tendency that remained in your nature. That, yes. But Sujata, for example, was completely, COMPLETELY free of the whole... (what shall I say?) what could be called the unhappy Page 63 aspect of her karma—completely free. For I know the people around ...

... easily come more often, if for you it's not.... ( Mother takes Satprem's hands ) As Satprem is about to leave: I wanted to mention something curious. Since you came up stairs in March, Sujata says that whenever she sees you at night she sees you taller than you were before! Everyone says that—everyone! Even I, when I see myself, I am very tall—what has happened?... It is the new ...

... can show this letter to those who share your indignation." They need to be shaken a little, oh, they're goody-goody! And that's not all. It seems I am giving "classes" to the two of you [Sujata and Satprem].... Classes! And she asks me if it's possible to take part in these "classes"!... Oh, what an idea! Can you see me giving you a class! Oh, it's dreadful!... Dreadful. She asks ...

... contrary. What tires me is seeing people. But is it necessary that you should see them? I wonder what I should do. Normally, I think that if they come, it's because they're "sent".... (Sujata, in an aside:) I don't think so. I don't know what to do. For a long time now, all sorts of people have been coming to see me. I wonder what I should do: say no? Or accept—since they come, accept ...

... December 11, 1968 ( Mother reads out the message she intends to give for the new year, 1969: ) No words—acts. ( To Sujata: ) What do you want for your birthday? Page 343 I want to offer myself more integrally. Offering is you—giving is me! ( Then Mother listens to Satprem reading an old Playground ...

... soon as you find it possible. Wire me as soon as you have made a decision. I am doing my best to make you feel that I am with you. Tenderly Signed : Mother ( Excerpt from a letter to Sujata ) Monday morning, 22 April '63 I have just written a word to Mother to tell her that if I could, I would catch the first train home. When I arrived here, I got a horrible impression as never ...

... dogma gave them too many weak points.... But he [Paul VI] understands maybe even better. We'll see what happens. Look what I've received ( Mother hands a garland of jasmine ), you'll give it to Sujata—it smells nice! ( silence ) But he seems to me by far the most interesting Pope in a very long time. It's strange, I got a sense of repulsion. Repulsion? The only danger with these ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1965 June 26, 1965 ( Sujata shows Mother a sort of cyst that has developed in her neck. This banal incident is the starting point for a capital discovery: the "cellular spinning." ) It's a tumor. Probably a hair that coiled up and the body covered it in a layer of skin, and then, out of habit, went on building skin around it: one layer ...

... in such a way as to invite Asuric influences upon her; these have worked insidiously and undermined the security that was there...." May 25, 1941 It dates back to long ago. I was here. (Sujata:) Long ago, you said, "If there is another war, it will Page 247 be over India." 3 Yes, that was long ago. But when the division between India and Pakistan took place, Sri Aurobindo ...

... instantly—almost instantly. It's the only way. And naturally, people who come, letters, all the things that come from outside bring along that same bustle—that should be kept to a minimum. Sujata is very peaceful, contact with her is good. Page 21 × The lightning offensive of June 22, 1941. ...

... llying, no more vacillating, it is time." "Go find Satprem," I said. "Show yourself to him." You didn't see anything? No. 1 All sorts of things are going on.... All right. Sujata had a dream last night. Ah! Page 218 If you like, I'll read what she noted down: "I am in Pavitra's office, standing on the carpet next to his table. I raise my eyes and look down ...

... of a fist ( gesture of a blow to the arm ), wham! I completely lost my balance—really I almost.... But then here I am, watching it all, enjoying myself immensely! It's very interesting. ( To Sujata ) Look, I almost have a bruise on my arm! My hands are a little too conscious—from time to time their own consciousness creeps in and wreaks havoc! I'm not much of a medium—it would be a lot better ...

... × February 22, 1914 . × On another occasion, Mother told Sujata more about these three times her brother almost killed her: 'One day we were playing croquet, and either because he got beaten or for some other reason, he flew into a rage and struck me hard with ...

... anything more than this. It's a very difficult period—very difficult. We are still in the middle of a transition. ( silence ) You must, you must hold on tight to the earth.... Did you get from Sujata the little packet [of rose petals from Mother]? She very much wanted you to keep it always on you—she is right. She is right. Because I know, I know what the atmosphere is over there. You must wrap ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 May 2, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) St-Pierre I am in silence, gazing at the sea. In fact, I am not in Brittany, not in St-Pierre, not in France, I am in Air-India's waiting room, waiting for July 18.... I am neither happy nor unhappy—I am nothing, I am as if anesthetized, counting hours and days in my waiting room. During ...

... Mother to Satprem ) Satprem, my dear little child, Here is your second letter. I didn't answer the first one because of my eye, which needed complete rest. Now it's better. But I immediately asked Sujata to write you that I'd rather not have my photo published in the book, and that regarding Sri Aurobindo's, the first one seemed to me the best. 1 Now, if the contract is signed, there is nothing ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 April 19, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) Paris ...People are miserable in the midst of their wealth, their faces are hard and closed, they are harassed.... There are fine beings, but all their energy is devoured by this devouring life—I will never come back here, I don't belong here, I've never belonged here! The best of their ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 May 15, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) St-Pierre I have become as brown as an Indian—that's just like me, I do the contrary of the country I am in: Breton among the Indians, Indian among the Bretons. Basically, I'm forming a new race, the Bretondians—what do you say? S. Page 117 ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 April 29, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) Paris I have obtained from the embassy my return visa and I am quite relieved, because I was terribly anxious that this visa might be refused—it's silly, but I waited for this visa with a horrible fear. S. ...

... disease in Pondicherry, which doctors from various parts of India are coming to investigate here, and it's a sort of paratyphoid—everyone is ill. You haven't caught it, have you? You did well! ( To Sujata: ) Neither have you? Good. It is one way of grating. There are other ways of grating, but they are very usual: one's ego scraping against another's—it always produces grating. The result: very ...

... during that time that I put on two kilos (at the time the doctor used to take my weight), and he said, "See, you have put on weight!" I told him, "But I am not keen to put on weight!" You see ( to Sujata ), in front of him I speak frankly! ( laughing ) You should do as I say and not do as I do! Not on principle—no principles: out of taste. There, mon petit. Page 130 ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 June 27, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) Chatou-Chambery ...I don't feel tired—what tires me is rather human beings with their constant agitation and troubled atmosphere. Anyway, I am happy to be with my brother. The difficulty is that I no longer know how to speak, I have lost the habit of conversation, and people talk and talk ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1964 May 28, 1964 ( From Satprem to Sujata ) St-Pierre This month of May is interminable, in-ter-mi-na-ble, it is surely elastic. If June is as long, I'll tear the calendar to pieces. But I haven't yet spoken to my mother about returning sooner than planned; I would like to know if Mother approves, it would give me more inner strength ...

... in vain. Oh, surely not! These old Agenda conversations that I read again, once they have been typed they are full of light! Page 46 I don't know. Oh, but I know! When she [Sujata] has finished typing, we'll see. We fell behind a lot during my illness, when I was in that hospital. And it was also a long period from which nothing is left. It's going to leave a gap. There ...

... I feel, live and see that That alone is real. It is a very engrossing experience. Mā, with gratitude I am at your feet Signed : Satprem Page 120 ( Excerpt from a letter to Sujata ) April 25, 1963 ........ I am waiting for X to make certain changes in my japa, as he said he would, and will then come back without further delay. These last two days my health has been better ...

... transition when it becomes absolutely useless, you feel it's finished. The first few times, you are worried; afterwards, you become used to it and keep still; then the light suddenly shines. ( Sujata gives Mother a recently named flower: "Material power of healing." 2 ) I would like that to be permanently established. When someone tells me, "I have a pain here," I pass my hand like that ...

... unfinished sentences. It's full of meaning. Yes, it's good for... (as the old phrase says) it's good for the faithful, but the "faithless" mustn't see the stammerings, it doesn't help them. She [Sujata] will have less typing to do! ( Satprem makes a face ) Page 322 ...

... immediately taken in, because in such cases IT IS SINCERITY THAT SAVES. Going by appearances it's very, very difficult to make out the difference. It is sincerity that saves (it's the same thing I said to Sujata 3 ). I remember how Madame Théon, after I told her several of my experiences, said to me, "Nobody can deceive you because you are perfectly sincere" (occultly, I don't say outwardly: occultly). And ...

... visitors came for February 21 and 29. × This is reminiscent of the "rain of white stars" seen by Sujata (see conversation of January 29 ). × On the evening of the 29th, Mother appeared at the balcony ...

... give up music. Mon petit, I would have to play with two or three people present who had an aspiration—a conscious and trusting aspiration—towards the Sound. For instance, when I played for you and Sujata, it was much better. If I were all alone, it could be good... although if I am all alone, there's a risk that I might go off elsewhere (which easily happens to me)! But if I am with someone who finds ...

... that I mean letting oneself flow into the eternal Movement without tensing up, without thinking, "I've got this to do, that to do, and this and that...." Don't let people pester you. I have told Sujata.... Page 15 ...

... infirmity, its incapacity; the clearer the consciousness becomes, the more conscious the body grows, so one must be very careful because ... it shouldn't topple over. ( Mother suddenly turns to Sujata ) Have you received the box of marrons glacés ? No?... ( Mother has the box brought ) It's pretty! At least the box is. You'll take some, won't you? Not for me. Oh, listen, you aren't ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1968 August 28, 1968 ( Mother receives Satprem and Sujata in her new, low armchair made of rosewood, which will remain till the end. She no longer gets up to fetch flowers for them. ) Come here, I am more deaf than ever! How are you? It's been a long time without seeing you! It was interesting ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1968 August 10, 1968 ( Mother looks a little stronger: she remains standing while giving flowers to Satprem and Sujata. Satprem gives Mother the offering of his pension. ) Satprem has become a rich man! ( Mother laughs ) Is there nothing we had to do?... I am sure I had to show you something... which I had to do with you. ( silence ...

... here ( Mother looks in the region of the heart ). It's strange, I seem to be asked to put it in contact with all those who come near me. ( After Satprem has left, Mother says a few words to Sujata. ) Since it came, I've been seeing people's eyes more clearly—in the past too, I used to see their eyes, but it was their psychological state, while now I see the expression of the eyes, and it's ...

... gestures to show about eight inches ). I have a feeling of BIG eyes looking.... Page 39 × During the meditation, Sujata noticed that Mother opened her eyes for a moment, and according to her, they were absolutely Sri Aurobindo's eyes. And Mother spoke in English when she emerged from the meditation. ...

... it? Twenty past eleven. Already... I was going to propose a meditation, but it's too late. ( Mother takes roses ) Here, today I'll do this way.... ( Mother gives the yellow rose for Sujata together with the red rose for Satprem ) ( Taking Satprem's hands: ) My hands have no cold! × One of the Ashram's ...

... of psychic being. But it was a whole mental organization. ( long silence ) She liked me very much, but she didn't have any trust in me! I represented what she didn't want to know! Yes, as Sujata puts it, it was love she was afraid of. Oh, yes. Very well. Did she still have any family?... I suppose they've been informed? Yes, she had prepared a dozen letters with all the addresses—to ...

... n"flower to Satprem. ) Would you like one? Yes, it's necessary! They're pretty... Only one is necessary: all the way down, this one ( Mother gives the flower, laughing ). To you ( to Sujata ) I give four. There. But does it get done independently of our effort? Something is done, that I know. Something is done. The Pressure is very strong, and some people even take it to ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1967 October 11, 1967 ( Sujata gives Mother a flower called "New Birth." ) [ Origanum Majorana. ] ( To Satprem ) Tell me, what is a new birth? Being radically different. ( After a silence ) Becoming new at each moment. This morning again, for, oh, more than two hours, a completely new person ...

... Oh, that's interesting! I didn't do it because I thought I might do her harm. I too had that sense of Falsehood. 2 And the amusing thing is that I received her letter, read it, then Sujata came into my room, stayed for five minutes and I saw her go out abruptly, just like that. And half an hour later she told me, "But what's the matter in your room? I suddenly felt exhausted as if I ...

... cells. There, enough chatter for now! ( Satprem gets up ) I'll give you the perpetual Smile of the divine Consciousness. ( Mother gives a Champak flower 2 ) And roses... here. ( To Sujata: ) For you too. × Annadurai. × ...

... What do you have to say? Are you better, Mother? Yes, a little. It's a little better. It's not yet... ( Mother shakes her head ). But I'd like to drink a few drops of water, because... ( Sujata goes and asks for water ) Only, I can't eat really yet. It's better, and last night, the second part of the night, was relatively better, that is to say, without constant pains. ( Mother drinks ...

... better? ( after a silence ) But with regard to you, I had (that was the last time I saw you), I had the impression that you were following well. I have the impression that she ( pointing to Sujata ) follows well, too. Some are beginning to have experiences. Some have experiences, but without knowing it! ( Mother laughs ) There is an effect. I can't deny it, there is an effect. The biggest ...

... tension. Yes, one can't be here with impunity. Yes... ( Mother takes a flower by her side ) Do you want "Silence"?—Not Satprem, no! ( Mother laughs ) You wouldn't do your work anymore! ( To Sujata: ) Do you want? ( silence ) Her son met with an accident. Z's son? Ohh! Yes, while riding a cycle he bumped into something, I don't know what—nothing too serious, but he gashed his leg ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1970 September 6, 1970 ( Sujata furtively goes and sees Mother. ) You're sweet.... I am better. ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1971 September 18, 1971 What do you have to tell me? You gave me a "new creation" [tuberose] the other day, through Sujata.... It's for you. Does that mean that.... Yes. Something is going to come? It means you haven't finished! ( Laughing ) You haven't finished writing! 1 ( Mother gazes long at Satprem, then ...

... ( Last day of the Durga festivals, Vijaya dashami, marking the Victory of the Universal Mother over an Asura. ) Do you want a [blessing] packet? You had Sujata give me one yesterday. Another one! If you like! It's not the same! It was clear, very clear today, a sort of Pressure to say: Victory is Harmony; Victory is the Divine; and for the ...

... "telling lies." Lying is always the sign of a lack of courage. A refusal to face the situation as it is. ( Mother goes back within, long contemplation ) Page 83 Nothing to ask? ( Sujata slips a note to Satprem: "Is India doing okay?" ) What is India doing, Mother? I received some news from Indira, who told me that they're sending all the help they can up there [to Bangladesh] ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1971 February 25, 1971 ( Mother to Sujata: ) There's an invasion.... ...

... Mother’s Agenda 1971 June 3, 1971 ( To Sujata ) Tell Satprem that whatever the circumstances, he must go down very, very deep into his heart: "Lord, what You want, Lord, what You want." No questioning, no asking why—this ( forehead ) silent, and here ( heart ) remaining steadfastly like this ( gesture of clenched fists ) with an intense prayer: Lord ...

... At any rate, Sri Aurobindo doesn't deny that he did something! No! ( Mother laughs. ) Do you want to be quiet a little? Yes, Mother, but I would like to ask you something. Through Sujata you told me that I should write something for Indian radio. Yes, they asked for something. They want it in French. There's no one who can write in French. What do you want me to write? ...

... published in an American newspaper showing Bangladesh ("East Pakistan") bloody and gored by the horns of a furious Indian "sacred cow," equipped with Soviet weapons. When the drawing was shown to Mother by Sujata, she angrily rejected it, sweeping it off her knees: "Take it away." Then, a few moments later, she asked for the drawing back, took a pen and wrote across the drawing: "This is disgustingly untrue ...

... March March Mother’s Agenda 1971 March 5, 1971 ( Extract from Sujata's notebook, after a visit to Mother. ) A warm, golden light emanates from Mother's eyes. It enters me. ...

... May May Mother’s Agenda 1971 May 30, 1971 ( Sujata's visit to Mother ) Falsehood has become acute and terrible. It has to go, so it's clinging. Since yesterday it's become so terrible that no one can be trusted. Page 153 ...

... March March Mother’s Agenda 1971 March 2, 1971 ( Extract from Sujata's notebook. For the last two days Mother's cheek has been very swollen from an abscessed tooth. ) Mother is better. Tendency to be indrawn. While she was holding my hands, it seemed to me that something went from me into her. Mother seemed to be resting well. ...

... from Satprem to Mother ) I am in the greatest Darkness of my life. S. ( Reply ) Now is the time to cling exclusively and definitively to the Divine. M. Page 144 ( Sujata's visit to Mother ) He feels the need of your protection. Cling to the Divine. I would like to enfold him like this ( gesture ). I am within (not "I," but...) and acting within. Deep within ...

... quarter of a person! Mother, whenever you want, you'll call me yourself. In any case, when the Bulletin is ready, you'll come and show it to me. Au revoir. ( Satprem leaves, Mother takes Sujata's hands ) ( Laughing ) I gave your flowers to Satprem, so you don't have any! I have your hands, Mother! Are you all right, mon petit? Yes, Mother. You had some trouble here ( pointing ...

... were happy and many unhappy; now they're all unhappy! That's what they call "serious matters." ( Later on, regarding Sujata's dream of the "false Mother": ) Apart from that, how are you? Quite well, Mother.... Did you see anything particular regarding Sujata's dream? Page 192 Oh, I forgot to tell you. It's an excursion in the vital. You can tell her she got off lightly ...

... y revealed to us. In the meanwhile, the best way is to consecrate oneself entirely to the Divine. Enough!... To be continued!... ( Mother has Vasudha, her attendant, called, and with Sujata's help starts sorting out old papers. She comes across a 1967 file containing her "Instructions in the event of a cataleptic trance": "This body must be left in peace..." etc. Mother gives Vasudha a ...

... gave the majority of the tapes, and a few others, with gratitude. × This is what Mother wrote to Sujata's father, Prithwi Singh, in 1953 about the passing away of Sri Aurobindo: "At 1:26 in the morning, when I was in his room, he was steadily coming out of his body into mine; it was so much that I felt ...

... Japan. × We find it worthwhile to publish here a letter Mother wrote (in English) to Prithwi Singh, Sujata's father, just a few days before Sri Aurobindo's letter published at the beginning of this conversation, on August 30, 1945: "I do not see that the Supramental will act in the way you expect from It ...

... That shocks him: not to do the work with all that's here! That's because their life is too easy. If they're asked to make the slightest effort, they rebel. ( Soon afterwards, regarding Sujata's question about love in the conversation of October 1st. ) Last night I had a very interesting experience.... I had a long vision—an activity—which I didn't remember because I didn't pay sufficient ...

... lying down and explaining to me), and it was... it was the same thing as a luminescent body, but it wasn't luminescent, it was... if I am not mistaken, it was the color of this sari ( Mother points to Sujata's sari ), something like that. Orange? No... It's a pink with a golden glow, you understand. So the two are seen together, like this ( gesture of fusing together ). ( long silence ) It's ...