The Growth of a Flame

Introduction

Kamalaben was born in Jadeshwar, Gujarat, on 11 February 1915. Her father was Kashibhai and her mother was Raiba. She had two brothers, Maheshbhai and Jagadishbhai, and one sister, Yashodaben, who got married to Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel's son. Kamalaben was the youngest. They all came to Pondicherry and stayed for a few years; then all of them went back except Kamalaben and Kashibhai who stayed on in the Ashram. According to Champaklal, Sri Aurobindo once said, "Kashibhai wants to go to heaven with the members of his family."

Kamalaben lost her mother when she was one year old. Her grandmother wanted to bring her up, but she was very dear to her father, who took her to Kansia with him and looked after her with the utmost care, almost like a mother, up to the age of seven. Then he left her in the care of her grandmother and grandfather and went to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram, leaving her behind in tears. At the age of nine she got permission to come to the Ashram but her uncle Haribhai did not allow her to go there. Later at the age of twelve Kashibhai called her to Pondicherry. She came to the Ashram with four persons — Maheshbhai and Shanta-bhabhi, her elder brother and sister-in-law, and two cousins Ramjibhai and Dayaben.

She had inherited a liking for the spiritual life from her father, who was a devotee of Lord Krishna and had founded an Ashram at Kansia, a beautiful island a

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few miles from Bharuch, where he lived a spiritual life. He took a very keen interest in moulding the lives of his children, for whose sake he often invited saintly persons to his Ashram. He was a very kind, helpful and generous person, a great reformist but also a strict disciplinarian. Champaklal had very high respect for him, and he joined the Kansia Ashram when he was seventeen. He considered him a detached householder like Janakavidehi. Kashibhai's brother Haribhai was a well-known political leader of his day. Kamalaben recalls having seen many great personalities including CF. Andrews, Gandhiji, Annie Besant, and Pagal Harnath. Vishnu Bhaskar Lele too was closely connected with her family. Haribhai, although a follower of Swaminarayan, used to receive spiritual guidance regularly from Sri Aurobindo in his quest.

Remembering her golden past Kamalaben said,

"When I came here I did not know anything. I learned English first from Janet and then from Pavita. All the time I remained occupied only with work. It was indeed a great joy to work. ss

"In those days the Ashram often faced shortage of funds. We could not keep anything in our room except drinking water. There were also some strict rules. Whatever food was received individually from one's native place had to be given away to the dining-room. The food that was served was so simple that sometimes I felt very hungry in the evening and tears rushed to my eyes, but still I remained happy. At lunch-time the Mother used to come to the dining-room everyday and

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eat one spoon of curds from each bowl. She herself gave the dishes of food to the sadhaks.

"I was very fond of 'Aspiration' flowers from my childhood. I used to collect them from my school garden and put them daily on my teacher's table. Then, after coming to the Ashram, the Mother gave me the work of counting 'Aspiration' flowers!"

Champaklal also has written about Kamalaben's stay in the Ashram.

I am giving here an edited version of the translation from the original in Gujarati.

Episodes of the Infinite Grace of the Mother

on Kamalaben

The Mother has showered her grace on her children in such a way that every child can say, "The Mother has specially showered her grace on me only. For none else she has done this." Kamala is indeed one of them.

Kamala has not written about herself, but I am interested in writing about her for two reasons. Firstly, it was the Mother who sustained my interest in the life of Kamala and secondly, it gives me an opportunity to admire the Mother as I recollect many events of her infinite grace on Kamala.

In the beginning, Kamala observed silence when she went to the Mother. After some time she asked the Mother for some work. The Mother gave her the work of sweeping Champaklal's room.

In those days, Kashibhai used to place an order with

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Maheshbhai (Kamala's brother) every week for a basket of fruits from Bombay for Sri Aurobindo and Mother. Maheshbhai sent oranges, chikoos, grapes, almonds, pistachios, etc. from Bombay. When he left Bombay for Broach, this arrangement was made from Madras. Someone might want to know what was done with these baskets which came so regularly. Kamala was entrusted the job of washing the fruits in water with potassium permanganate, wiping them, arranging them in three big cupboards and checking their condition every day. With the grace of the Mother, Kamala's fingers became so sensitive that they could pick exactly the spoiled ones and keep them aside.

Daily Champaklal used to spend about an hour in extracting the juice, filling three big jars. The Mother gave this juice to Sri Aurobindo and some devotees too. Kashibhai considered himself fortunate for having such a rare opportunity given to him by Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

There are four doors to the passage where at present the photographs of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother are kept for darshan. One can go to the meditation hall by passing through a long passage parallel to Sri Aurobindo's room. Kamala was asked by the Mother to sit there and do the work of counting "Aspiration" flowers.

After Sri Aurobindo met with an accident to his right leg, Kamala would sit at the place where the Mother used to sit for giving darshan and separate good green grapes from bad ones for Sri Aurobindo. In fact, the

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Mother herself had asked her to sit there so that she could have the darshan of Sri Aurobindo every day.

When the Mother went downstair to receive Pranam, she gave a unique opportunity to Kamala by asking her to remain present with her.

There was an ear-shaped glass tray on which the Mother used to arrange "Tender" flowers and then keep that tray on the dressing table in her dressing room. Afterwards that work was also handed over to Kamala.

The work, which the Mother herself used to do, of cutting the stems of all the roses and arranging them in a bowl, was given to Kamala. The Mother required flowers early in the morning for which a big bowl filled with roses was kept in the darshan room at night. Kamala had to come in the night at 2 a.m. for this work. But how could she come at such a time? She slept in my room in the library house, since I used to sleep in Sri Aurobindo's room. She started her work of flower arrangement at 2 a.m. and finished by 4 a.m. This way she had early morning darshan of Sri Aurobindo.

The bakery room where Kamala was staying was to be vacated. The Mother alloted her storeroom to Kamala. She was allowed to use the darshan room as a passage.

I also remember another event. Sometimes while taking bath the Mother would come out of the bathroom with a piece of cloth and ask Kamala to stitch it for her immediately. At that time I used to wonder why

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she would need it so urgently when she had so many handkerchieves and other clothes. She would come back after some time with loving, penetrating eyes, affectionate words and take the stitched piece of cloth with a sweet smile. I did not understand anything then. What do I understand now? I can only say that the meaning behind it got revealed to me gradually over a length of time.

I was interested in witnessing all this on two counts. One was to see the Mother's ways of working on Kamala and the other was to see the Mother showering grace on her.

Someone might think why only Kamala was with Champaklal. I have written this at length to show that by showering her infinite grace the Mother had Kamala with me from childhood and till today she has kept her with me.

It seems from Kamalaben's correspondence that the period between 1933 to 1937 provided a great impetus to the development of her life. During this period she did many paintings, learned vocal music, played the veena and corresponded regularly with a childlike enthusiasm with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother gave Kamalaben the following messages on her birthday in 1946:

11.2.46

Fidelity, devotion, self-giving, selfless work and service, constant aspiration are the simplest and most

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effective means by which the soul can be made ready and felt to be in the abiding presence of the Divine.

Sri Aurobindo

The prayer for 1946 - to repeat daily:

"O Lord, marvellous Friend, all-powerful Master, penetrate all our being and transfigure it so that thou alone livest in us and by us!"

With my blessings,

The Mother

It is such messages from Sri Aurobindo and the Mother which have sustained and nourished the growth of the flame of Kamalaben's aspiration and devotion all through her life.

ROSHAN

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