The Growth of a Flame

Preface

This book is a collection of Kamalaben's correspondence with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. It takes us into the past and revives the memory and the atmosphere of those golden days.

It is difficult to write about Kamalaben without remembering Champaklal because her association with him grew from her childhood days. I had the privilege of first knowing them quite a few years ago. Later, I got close to them during the publication of some books on Champaklal.

Kamalaben came to the Ashram at the young age of thirteen on 20 February 1928. She had the rare opportunity of spending her time in the service of Divine Mother and later on she served Champaklal till his last moment. She hardly speaks about herself. I have found her sincere, straightforward, warm, generous and a silent servitor of the Divine. She looked upon Sri Aurobindo and the Mother as her true Father and Mother. Her initiation and development have taken place under their direct guidance.

Champaklal once showed me some of the correspondence Kamalaben had carried on with Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and also the birthday messages and folders she received from them. The correspondence was from 1931 to 1940, when Kamalaben's age was fifteen to twenty-four. It is very interesting because it not only reflects a soul's aspirations,

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but also its struggles and the growth of the inner flame under the direct protection, care and love of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. Kamalaben herself has said that she did not know anything before coming to the Ashram. She used to express her feelings through letters to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, most of the time in Gujarati and occasionally in English. Each letter was answered by Sri Aurobindo, even the smallest query. It is a pleasing but surprising revelation that Sri Aurobindo knew Gujarati so well!

In those days there were very few sadhaks - maybe thirty or so - and Kamalaben was one of them. These fortunate souls lived like one family and had the opportunity to ask about everything to Sri Aurobindo and the Mother for whom their respect, love and obedience were total. Kamalaben, for example, was not allowed to do many things like cycling and swimming. She readily and gladly accepted these restraints without any resentment at all. Sri Aurobindo and the Mother poured their love on them and worked ceaselessly on them at the human level in the smallest detail. Their solicitude is beyond our imagination.

The correspondence is divided into sisx parts. The first part consists of Kamalaben's aspirations and prayers, corrected by Sri Aurobindo. Kamalaben used to express her love and surrender to the Mother everyday by preparing a beautiful design on a sheet of paper and writing the word "Mother" in different styles. The Mother used to write her "blessings" and return it to her. Two such designs are given here from

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this beautiful collection of the "Happy child", Kamalaben.

The second part covers the very inspiring birthday messages received by her from 1931 to 1970. They provide an insight into the soul's progress and the guidance available at a spiritual level. Kamalaben was also fortunate to get a variety of beautiful folders and cards meticulously prepared by Champaklal with the Mother's blessings. They are a treasure to her. One of these folder-cards with the Mother's photograph is printed at the start of this book.

Kamalaben is a person who came to the Ashram at a very young age for a spiritual life and she went through many conflicts and pulls of vital desire on the one hand and had an inspiration to do yoga though not knowing the first elements of it on the other. Questions such as "Is there any aspiration in me?" - "Why do I feel like leaving the Ashram though I do not like to leave?" — "Why do I remember the relatives? - What to do?" and Sri Aurobindo's answers to them are a source of guidance and inspiration not only for Kamalaben but all aspirants who go through similar conflicts. This forms the third part of the correspondence entitled "Introspection".

The fourth part is "Guidance in Daily Activities". In those days sadhikas were very few - only seven to ten and Kamalaben was the youngest. She sought guidance from Sri Aurobindo and the Mother whom she saw as her Father and Mother. About this Sri Aurobindo wrote, "It is not imagination, it is true.

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These are the true feelings and this is your true relation with the Mother."

The fifth part is on Kamalaben's dreams which she had been seeing since 1932. She used to write of them in letters to Sri Aurobindo, asking their meaning. Sri Aurobindo's interpretations of these dreams are given here. "It is sometimes said that in a man's sleep his true nature is revealed"¹, the Mother once remarked, and Sri Aurobindo said in one of his writings, "As the inner consciousness grows by sadhana, these dream experiences increase in number, clearness, coherence, accuracy and after some growth of experience and consciousness, we can, if we observe, come to understand them and their significance to our inner life."²

Kamalaben learned the art of painting after coming to the Ashram. She particularly received full encouragement from Champaklal. But Sri Aurobindo and the Mother also gave their guidance and appreciation to a budding artist; this will be seen in the sixth part where the correspondence is given. Kamalaben did a number of flower studies which were seen by Sri Aurobindo and the Mother; the Mother wrote the significance of each flower. One of these paintings is included in this book.

I present this book with a deep sense of gratitude to Champaklal, the inspirer of this book, and to Kamalaben for her guidance and kind cooperation.

I express my special thanks to all those who have helped in the publication of this book.

I also offer my sincere thanks to an enlightened

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devotee Amal Kiran who is always ready to help and guide, to an eminent artist Jayantilal Parekh, for taking keen interest in Champaklal's and Kamalaben's work, to Apurva for his full cooperation and to Mrs. Raty Sethna for the translation work. My thanks are also due to the Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust, the Archives, the Art Gallery and the Sri Aurobindo Ashram Press for the cooperation extended by them.

ROSHAN

9, Cosmos,

54 A, S.V. Road,

Andheri (W) Bombay - 400 058

References

1. Collected Works of the Mother. Vol. 2, p. 30

2. Sri Aurobindo Birth Centenary Library: Vol. 23, pp. 1023-24

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