Enlarged edition. Writings, letters of Sri Aurobindo & The Mother that were preserved by Champaklal. 'These writings to devotees are most valuable' - Champaklal
Sri Aurobindo : corresp.
THEME/S
Do not worry about what has been done.
Let the past pass away.
From today you are reborn.
That is why you will be called: RENE (Reborn)
13 April 1929
The Mother
From today
Rene will be perfectly
Strong, Sincere, Straightforward
21 April 1929
To Rene
I certainly cannot sanction your departure on so wrong and trivial a ground. You must be aware, as you admitted at first, that you are yourself to blame. When the Mother after a long and exhausting morning's work still gave you time, it was very wrong of you to reward her by speech of an insulting character. And it was wrong of you to resent her kind letter and her reference to the adverse force which you yourself have called the devil and from which you have insistently prayed to be delivered. I shall add that if you allow yourself to be ruled in this way by self-will and an abnormal sensitiveness, you will always create trouble for yourself, no matter where you go.
I could only sanction your departure if I came to the conclusion that you are still too young and raw and ill-balanced to bear the pressure for change which is inevitable in the atmosphere of the Ashram. But before this attack, you were progressing very well with a rapid growth in consciousness and character. It ought not to be difficult for you to get over this attack and settle down to a self-development of your undoubted possibilities on the right line. It would be a pity if you threw away the chance by obstinate persistence in the result of a moment's pique.
I prefer not to give any decision till after the 15th. You will do well to wait till and see if your present feelings do not change.
4 August 1929
Sri Aurobindo
1) Rene (Aga Syed Yacoob), born on 4 November 1908 at Hyderabad. He joined the Ashram on 13 April 1929.
Rene,
I did not agree to your going for the same reasons as the 1, First, there was no good reason why you should go; a fit of quite causeless jealousy and pique could not be considered a sufficient ground your wanting to leave us. You started your "revolt", as you ca cause the Mother took Duraiswami to a private sale to buy thing! you continued it because the next day (it being the first of the me the day after she was too busy with accounts and other affairs t( herself with you as you wanted. There could not be more absurd for wanting to go away.
What you seem to claim from the Mother is impossible. No one can be given the right to control or question her actions and decisions or to dictate whom she must or must not take with her or what time she s to one or another. The Mother can do her work only if she is free to do what she sees to be right and her decisions are accepted by all concerned. This is now generally understood in the Ashram and no 01 this kind of demand; it is not possible that you alone out of eight should have the right to do it. In fact, you have been given privileges of close daily persona with the Mother which very few in the Ashram have and which all would be only too glad to have. It is not because you have a greater claim than theirs. If it were a matter of ordinary claim, there are many wt precede you. Some have been here since the beginning; some advanced than most in the spiritual life; some occupy a responsible position in the work of the Ashram; yet many of them cannot come to the Mother separately every morning or meet her again in the afternoon as been allowed to do. This privilege was given you because she you had a special need of her care and of help and support from she does not act for her personal satisfaction or decide out of preference, but according to the necessities of the work and the of each one in the Ashram. And she gave you as much as s consistently with the call of her work and the time at her disposal instead of being satisfied and happy, you create in your mind grounds for "revolt" and "quarrel". You did this once and it was as a mistake which you recognized and would try not to repeat. discouraging to see you start the same folly, all over again as if you had understood and learned nothing.
You have not been asked to do any yoga; you were too young for that. You have therefore no reason to complain of be to do something beyond your power. But, without doing any yoga, it was quite possible for you, merely by your work and by daily contact with the Mother and her silent influence, to grow quietly and easily and happily in consciousness and character and capacity until you were ready. But if you refuse to learn self-control and discipline, (these are not matters of yoga, but what everyone has to learn unless he wants to waste his life and bring his capacities to nothing) and if you cannot be content and happy with the much that is given you, you yourself will make your own life here impossible.
My second reason for not agreeing to your departure was that I did not believe that you really wanted to go or that what spoke of going was the true.... But if your desire to go is serious and deliberate, if you cannot be happy here with us, then it would not be right for me to keep you against your will. That is a thing which I never do with any one.
My third reason was that I could only sanction your going if I saw that you were too young or otherwise unfit to bear the pressure of the Ashram atmosphere. I know that there is in you the capacity if you choose to exercise it. But a certain attitude towards this life and towards the Mother is needed which you seem unwilling to keep. If you cannot be satisfied, if you are constantly revolting and discontented and unhappy, if you again and again violently insist on going away, if you are constantly driven by something in you into these outbreaks which might have been excusable when you were a young child but are no longer proper to your age, it will be difficult for me to avoid coming to the conclusion that, as yet at least, you are not ready, not for the Yoga but even for living here.
One thing I wish to make clear. Neither myself nor the Mother wish you to leave us. I do not approve or sanction your going, still less do I decide that you must go. But if your desire to go is real, insistent and imperative, if you cannot be happy here and feel that you would be happier elsewhere, then I shall be obliged to withdraw my refusal.
This is the situation. Try to get back to your self, your real self, the real ... and see if he wants to go, if it is true that he cannot be satisfied by what the Mother gives him. It is upon that that the decision will rest.
3 September 1929
René
I shall answer your letter, but meanwhile do not allow these things to worry you. Don't allow them to run in your mind or to get on your nerves. And don't let unpleasant feelings last in you; throw them away. After all, these incidents are very small things in themselves, and it is only when one gives them too much importance that they can take hold of the mind and give trouble.
The important point is not who was in the right or in the wrong; when these things happen, there is always some mistake or a wrong feeling on both sides. The one important thing is your inner condition. You have the Mother's love and my help and spiritual support; why should anything said or done or not said or not done by others disturb you? I want you to be, whatever happens, calm and at peace within and happy. It is the only way to keep the devil at a respectful distance. 9 October 1929
In answer to your letter about your clash with Pavitra.
If anybody in the Ashram tries to establish a supremacy or dominating influence over others, he is in the wrong. For it is bound to be a wrong vital influence and come in the way of the Mother's work. If you feel anything of the kind in anybody, you are quite right to resist it and throw off the influence; to accept it would be bad both for him and you.
But there should be no quarrel or ill-feeling or keeping up of resentment or anger; for that too is not good for either. Certain things must be said in fairness to Pavitra. He can have had no conscious intention of injuring you with the Mother; for, if it were there the Mother would have seen it. And you may be sure that nothing of the kind could shake her confidence in you; she has seen your work, she knows your capacity, and she can judge it for herself without being swayed by the words of others.
He may not be very communicative about the contents of the "magic cupboard", but he did not intend to keep you in ignorance. Once he showed you in the Mother's presence the things that came from Europe and he must have thought that you knew already what was there.
He says that he never intended to order you about, and I am sure he I thinks what he says. If you felt something wrong of this kind in his manner, it is evidently something of which he was not himself conscious.
As to the work, part of what you ask is quite just and reasonable. You must be kept informed of what is there with Pavitra; otherwise you will be hampered in your work. You should also be consulted as to your requirements when an order is sent. As to the plans, the Mother, as you know, arranges them with you whenever any work has to be done. Put I suppose you are thinking of the plans for the new house of which Pavitra showed you a map. These are his suggestions and, as his rooms and offices and the electrical installation for his work with the motors will all be there, he has a voice in the matter. Nothing is definitely settled and nothing can be till the house is ready; then it will be the Mother who will decide everything and you will certainly be taken into confidence.
On the other hand, all orders must actually be drawn up and sent by Pavitra for it is part of the business with France and that is his department; none else can do it. Moreover, you are not right in asking that you alone should draw up plans, for that would be to prevent the Mother from taking advantage of Pavitra's scientific training and knowledge and his long experience.
You must remember that just as the Mother uses your capacities and gives them their field, she must be able to do the same with the capacities of others. If she gives charge of a department of work to one, that must not stand in the way of her consulting or using others. Thus Benjamin and Chandulal are in charge of the building work, but the Mother consults Pavitra too because of his scientific knowledge as an engineer and he has the right to make suggestions or criticisms or indicate any possible improvements, although he is not in charge. So too the Doctor is not in charge of the dispensary, but he is associated with the medical work and the Mother makes use of his expert knowledge and experience, when ever necessary or puts in his hands the treatment of a case of illness. It must be the same between you and Pavitra.
It will be best if you fix in your mind and keep to the true rules of the work; then you will have no difficulty or trouble.
All the work should be done under the Mother's sole authority. All must be arranged according to her free decision. She must be free to use the capacities of each separately or together according to what is best for the work and best for the worker.
None should regard or treat another member of the Ashram as his subordinate. If he is in charge, he should regard the others as his associates and helpers in the work, and he should not try to dominate or impose on them his own ideas and personal fancies, but only see to the execution of the will of the Mother. None should regard himself as a subordinate, even if he has to carry out instructions given through another or to execute under supervision the work he has to do.
All should try to work in harmony, thinking only of how best to make the work a success; personal feelings should not be allowed to interfere, for this is a most frequent cause of disturbance in the work, failure or disorder.
If you keep this truth of the work in mind and always abide by it, difficulties are likely disappear; for other will be influenced by the rightness of your attitude and work smoothly with you. Or, if through any weakness or perversity in them, they create difficulties, the effects will fall back on them and you will feel no disturbance or trouble.
12 October 1929
About your zero.
When the bad will etc. is thrown away, first you begin to feel calm but empty, that is your Zero.
If you remain confident and go straight your peace will fill up with a silent strength and content which will turn the zero into a pluz +
In the end there will come in the 100 and the 1000.
Your cat and rat equation is, I suppose intended to describe the kind of reasoning by which the devil misleads the mind. At any rate, it is an apt description of the devil's logic and the devil's mathematics there are fantastic and false ideas with which it is dangerous even to play. You see how successful this kind of devil's reasoning has been with prashanta.
Prashanta presends to be pure and surrender to the will of God. How can he be pure when his whole trouble has come from the indulgence of impure desires? He pretends to act according to god's will, but his actions are moved by three things, desire, vanity and self-will. The devil makes suggestions supports by one or another of these three motives and persuades him that it is the will of God.
Ignorance is not a slate of innocence or purity; that is an old blunder. Only a consciousness full of light can be pure. For instance, when you are conscious, your mind is clear and you have the right ideas about things and people; your mind is pure of ignorance. but when the mind is clouded by some impurity, -say, anger, jealousy or pride or some unreasonsonable desire, you at once become ignorant and mistake and misunderstand everything.
Again, when your heart is turned to the Mother and satisfied with her love, when you are full of peace, contentment and happiness, then there is no room for wrong feelings and desires; your heart is pure.
That is what the Mother meant by purity; to be free from false ideas, wrong feelings, desires, demands etc. is to be pure.
27 October 1929
To René,
My dear boy,
I had a very interesting vision about you this early morning. I think it is better for you to come and hear it before you decide anything about going.
So I expect that you will come this morning.
13 December 1929
Your loving
MUMMY
René,
It is more than half an hour that I am waiting for you.
Please come at once.
Come quick, I have some nice proposal to make!
Your
for ever
Have you completely forgotten your Mummy's love? I have things to say and urgent work to give you — that is why I am asking you to come.
From his Mummy with her love
All this talk of leaving you is mere nonsense.
What you are or are not I know better than you do; and I know the treasures that are hidden behind what you call your lower vital.
The only thing true you say is that love is unselfish and unconditioned. Such is the love of Sri Aurobindo and myself for you
That is why we shall never listen to all your nonsense and will love you surely. ,
Come to me without fear. I will not scold and not look with "round eyes".
Your ever loving
MAMAN
My very dear boy,
I knew something of this although you had not spoken, and the or thing I regretted is that you did not love and trust your Mummy enough tell her frankly. How could you think that this could change my love for you?
Now nothing stands in the way between us, between Rene and Mummy, and if my love for you could be greater, it would be so now that you have shown full confidence to me.
/ expect you at pranam as usual. And what more I have to say I shall say when you come at one o'clock. You will be cured — this is sure Love from Saturday 5.45 a.m.
Your MUMMY
To René with blessings.
It is true that whatever you do I am always your Mother. But hence forth do not let the devil manifest through you.
Your loving Mother
Sincerity means to lift all the movements of the being to the level of the highest consciousness and realisation already attained.
Sincerity exacts the unification and harmonisation of the whole being in all its parts and movements around the central Divine Will.'
20 February 1930, 2.40 p.m
From now Rene is sincere and will be sincere like his Mummy.
1) Message cyclostyled and distributed in the Ashram
When these moods come upon you, why do you run away from the Mother and avoid her? Why do you not come to her, tell her frankly what you feel and what is in your mind and let her take the trouble from you?
The reasons you give for wishing to leave us are no good reasons at all. If you want to see the richness and greatness of God, you will, if you wait, see more of it with us than you ever can outside. And if you want to see the Himalayas, it will be much better for you to see them hereafter with your Mother beside you.
You are quite mistaken when you say that if you will go, there will be no Devil left in the Ashram. The Devil is not here because of you; he is here because he wants to give trouble to the Mother and spoil her work. And what he chiefly wants is to drive her children away from her, and especially those who like you are nearest to her. If you go, he will remain; and not only he will remain, but he will feel that he has won a great victory and will set himself with a double vigour to attack her through others.
You talk of not giving trouble to the Mother and to me; but do you not realize that nothing can be worse trouble to us than your going away? The moods of revolt that come upon you are clouds that pass; but to see you leave us in this way and feel our love rejected and your place near us empty would be indeed a real trouble to us and we would feel it more deeply than anything else you could do.
You know that it is not true that your sole desire is to go away. It is only so when you are in these moods. And you know that these are moods that pass, and if you allow the Mother to take them away, they go at once. The trouble is that when they come, you take them too much to heart and you begin to think that there is nothing else to do but go away. I assure you that that is no solution and that we would much rather have you with us even with these moods than be separated from you; compared with our love for you, the trouble they give us is mere dust in the balance.
Read this letter, talk with the Mother and act according to your true self; never mind the rest.
7 March 1930
When I spoke of being faithful to the Light of the soul and the Divine Call, I was not referring to anything in the past or to any lapse on your part. I was simply affirming the great need in all crises and attacks, —to refuse to listen to any suggestions, impulses, lures and to oppose to them all the call of the Truth, the imperative beckoning of the Light. In all doubt and depression, to say, "I belong to the Divine, I cannot fail", to all suggestions of impurity and unfitness, to reply, "I am a child of Immortality chosen by Sri Aurobindo and the Mother; I have but to be true to myself and to them - the victory is sure; even if I fell, I would rise again ; to all impulses to depart and serve some other ideal, to reply This is he greatest, this is the truth, this alone can satisfy the soul within me; I will endure through all tests and tribulations to the very end of the Divine Journey." -
This is what I mean by faithfulness to the Light and the Call.
31 March 1930
With the Love of Rene 's Mummy who expects him to have a strong and unshakable will from today.
14 April 1930
Remember what Sri Aurobindo has written to you. When these moods come why do you run away from Mother? Come to her, on the contrary and she will cure you easily. This is the substance of what he has said
So, come without delay. I shall expect you after I come back from soup.
Love from your
Please come at once. It is already very late.
18 April 1930
I am giving you back your Mother. But you must undo your telegram to X; otherwise it may do harm - to him especially. Tomorrow morning we will send a telegram early, thus:
"Yesterday's telegram bad joke. Do not send money."
No. I did not agree.
My boy, I have been waiting for you at the bath room window from 10 to 6 up too 6.30: did you pass before?
Do not fail to come at 8 o'clock.
I hope your night has been good.
Something interesting happened between 4.30 and 5 - I shall tell you.
Love from MUMMY
Yielding to desires is not the way of getting rid of them. There is no end to desires; each one that is satisfied is at once replaced. by another one and they go on clamouring more and more.
It is only by conquering the desires that you can get rid of them, by coming out of this consciousness of the lower nature and rising to a higher consciousness.
29 April 1930
A desire which knows that it will never be satisfied at once vanishes.
Come quick. I have a letter for you.
Love from your Mummy with whom you have passed many hours of your night
Come quick. You have not seen me all afternoon and now I am waiting for you.
7 May 1930
How is it that you did not pass at 6 o'clock?
Rise at once and come.
I am waiting for you on the terrace.
27 May 1930
I did not call you this morning because I did not want you to believe that I was calling you to ask you to remain. We have been trying all the morning to set the Grand-Six in order so that you might take it to Madras, sell it and, after paying the expenses, keep the remaining money for your trip to the mountains, but we have not as yet succeeded in making it work; and as you refuse to remain even one day more, we shall give you the fare for Madras tonight. Duraiswami has written to his house to keep a room ready for you.
For further developments we must wait and see what happens to the Grand-Six.
7 June 1930
If you were seeking for a way of making it impossible for me to refuse you the money for going away, you have certainly found it this time. After the letter you have written and the accusations it contains, I am bound to give you the Rs. 50 you ask for X.
Your share in the family estate, which you demand from Dara, remains untouched; we have not taken it, Dara has not given it to us.
...Dara has given all he had, and he has given it freely, unasked and without claiming anything in return.
As to your other reproaches and accusations, I do not think it is necessary for me to reply. I send you the money you ask for and so fulfil the promise which you so imperatively demand that I should fulfil. I do not send you away or give my sanction for your going; it is for you to decide in all freedom whether you will go or stay. But if you stay, there must be no more reproaches of this kind, since you will be staying entirely by your own free will and under no pressure from us. Nor can I allow the claim you seem to have made that the Mother must do what you want and she must not say to you or do anything that does not please you. That is elation which is not allowed to others and it can not be allowed to you either. The Mother has shown you every possible favour and kindness; more she cannot do.
12 June 1930
Blessings from Sri Aurobindo and Mother.
I hope you have felt Mummy's presence and protection as I have been constantly with you — so much so that from time to time I was hearing Laki's voice and yours when you were speaking of me, as clearly as if we were in the same room.
I shall be glad to hear from you that your journey has been a good and happy one.
Say once more to Laki how much I have appreciated his visit and been pleased to see him. I am sure now that he will take great care of you and send you back "complete" before the end of the week, as he has promised'.
I feel confident that this little trip will do you much good and that you. will soon come back with a cheerful heart and peaceful mind. You will find your Mummy waiting for you and happy to see you in good health physically and morally.
Pavitra asks me to remind you of the motorcar accessories.
With Mummy's best love.
Pondicherry 12 July 1930
To René with blessings from Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.
Your letters dated 29th, 30th, 31st, have just reached and I have been very happy to receive detailed news from you and hear that your health is improving. But you must be patient and get it quite all right. The aching of the back must completely disappear and the sadness go to never come again. This is very important, for you know that if the possibility of the struggle remains as soon as you reach here it becomes worse. So you " must get completely cured and once for all be free from such possibility.
I do not know what Ali tells you about money, but I know that when money is concerned people have easily very dirty thoughts. Moreover I do not understand why you refuse to spend. The pension that will come to you is your own and you are free to spend. The same with Sudhira also. So both you and Sudhira will be able to buy, with the money you will receive, the things which you require.
But to make more sure that you will miss nothing, I shall send tomorrow to Ali the Rs. 200.
I hope you have received my last letter (no. 2) it was not registered. But seeing that so many letters are lost I shall register this one (no. 3) to be more sure.
I am very pleased to hear that Ali is treating you well; do not worry and think of "luxury", etc. Make yourself comfortable and do all what is necessary to be completely cured. The more you will be quiet and contented the quicker it will be done. Give my love to Sudhira and keep for you the best love of your Mummy for ever. Pondicherry, 3 August 1930
My dear little Rene,
Today I have sent the Rs. 200.
Expecting to receive soon good news from you.
With blessings from Sri Aurobindo and best love from your Mummy.
Pondicherry; 4 August 1930
To René with the blessings of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother.
Two letters of yours, dated 9th and 20th of August, have reached about at the same time — one took 12 days to come, the other 3! The post seems to be full of fancies. The worst is that the correspondence becomes thus somewhat incoherent; to my letters I receive no answer and in yours you mention things of which I have never heard and of which you were probably speaking in previous letters which I never received.
In your last letter, dated 20th, you speak of another one you would have sent the same day; that one (and probably many others), never reached me. In that condition it is almost impossible to answer to what you write — it is too incomplete.
You speak if you can write to Pavitra; certainly you can and he will be very pleased to receive your letter.
He has cleaned your room and made it tidy; arranged your personal things, in boxes with naphthaline; like that nothing will be spoilt.
Pondicherry 28 August 1930
Home
Disciples
Champaklal
Books
Share your feedback. Help us improve. Or ask a question.