Living in The Presence

In the Ashram, there's a continuous play of two kinds of forces: on one side, the forces that help us in our one-pointed endeavour towards the realisation of the divine life in the light of Sri

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 Aurobindo and the Mother's teaching, to walk on the path of Truth and to establish that Truth in our life; on the other, the tremendously hostile forces that constantly try to attack and block this upward movement towards the divine life. These asuric forces do not want the divine life to be established upon the earth, they do not want the transformation of man's nature. That is why, each time we decide to work upon an advice of the Mother, or set out to practise Sri Aurobindo's clear guidance, these asuric forces mount a ferocious attack on us, try to demolish our endeavour and our aspiration. We are forced to start anew with an equal mind. I am sure many here have experienced this repeatedly in life. Let me give you an instance. The Mother had asked me on several occasions not to speak too much, just what was indispensable, and not to talk about the faults of others. How many times did I decide to stop doing this, but some forces would take advantage of my human nature and its weaknesses, and create upheaval and turmoil in the being. Huge misunderstandings have aggravated relationships here in the Ashram, where we live in this extended spiritual family of the Mother; sometimes these relationships have ended in a life-long split as well. I was confronted once with an extremely unsettling situation, because of this absence of self-control in speech. When the event had passed and I looked quietly at myself, I realised that I had interfered in something that was not my concern at all! I had never wanted to be involved in such a thing! Some hostile force had manipulated me into it! Deeply pained and profoundly filled with remorse, I wrote a letter to the Mother:

pray tell me how can I remember you before falling prey to such a force? How can I call you before getting swallowed by this force? I do not know in advance when this force is going to attack me. O Mother divine, protect me from the attacks of this dark force. If I get a line or two from you, I will consider myself blessed. My pranams to you.

    After these words from the Mother, I began calling the Mother inwardly in a concentrated manner so as to develop sincerity. I began calling out to Her to grant me strength.