Living in The Presence

Sangeetmala

    The time I am talking about, the Library had a pedal organ. After finishing my Group every evening I used to go and play the organ in the library and sing in my own way. As I had learnt to play the piano in Calcutta, I could play the organ too.

    This happened on one such evening at the Library as I was coming out after finishing my singing. I noticed Niranjan-da and Basanti talking to each other in the centre room. On seeing me, they complimented me on my singing. Without reacting to it, I came back home.

    I used to live in the Red House that was opposite the Library. The following morning, I got out to go to the Ashram and then to the Dining-room, I saw Niranjan-da pacing up and down in front of our house. He came towards me and said, "Shobha, I am giving-up Sangeetmala. I am sending a letter to the Mother along with the names of some musicians of the Ashram. The Mother will select who to hand this over to. Can I add your name to the list I am sending to the Mother?" I answered, "No, Niranjan-da, it doesn't interest me," and left for the Ashram. Despite my declining he put my name on the list. A few days later, I got to know from Nolini-da that the Mother had selected me to take charge of Sangeetmala. Niranjan-da also showed me his letter where the Mother had ticked in red the last name on the list which was mine. As the Mother had selected me, I could but acquiesce. The recording equipment etc. of Sangeetmala was sent to my house and I began looking after this work. Every month, I had to play recorded music at the library. Almost all the musicians of the Ashram took part in this programme: Monibishnu-da, Sahana-di and her students, Tinkori-da and his students, Nandalal-da, Gitika-di, Bokul, Runu, Tarit-da, Romen-da and his students, Nandita, Rose-di were among the principal contributors. Sangeetmala ran quite well and everyone was happy. I used to myself prepare the notice for this programme that was to be put up at the Ashram but only after the Mother had seen it.

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The Mother used to sign the notice before it was put up on the Ashram notice-board. This Sangeetmala programme happened once a month at the Library and when visiting artists arrived, their programme was hosted in the Playground. People in the Ashram used to look forward to this programme. Every month various singers used to take charge of the programme, practise for it, and all this flurry of activity had created quite some enthusiasm and awakening in the world of music in the Ashram. The principal teachers of music who were responsible for this renewal of interest and enthusiasm, - Nolini Sarkar-da, Sahana-di, Tinkori-da, Gitika-di -, were all very satisfied with the functioning and success of Sangeetmala.

    On one occasion, I had prepared a very beautiful notice. Both the drawing and the lettering had turned out well. As I was going to see the Mother on Sunday, I did not give the notice to Nolini-da but decided to take it myself. The moment I handed it to Her, She began looking at it very attentively and asked me, "Who has prepared this notice? Whose writing is this? Who has done the drawing?" "I have written it, Mother, and I have also drawn" I replied. "Oh, your handwriting is very beautiful. Your drawing is fine too."

    I was quite thrilled to get the Mother's appreciation of my handwriting. Having decided to make my next notice even more beautiful, I learnt some calligraphic scripts. I made a very aesthetic border around the paper and showed it to Krishnalal-ji when I went to him for my drawing class. He was very happy to see the result. And so one Sunday, I took this notice I had got ready to the best of my aesthetic ability to the Mother. Somewhere within me I was anticipating Mother's praise out of an inflated sense of pride, no doubt. I entered Her room, offered Her the flowers and next handed over to Her the notice I had prepared. The Mother became quite grave on seeing it. She read what was written on it and then said:

    Mother - Who has prepared this notice?

    I - Me, Mother.

    Mother - Yes, I can see that you have made it. But why?

    I stayed speechless as I had no answer.

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    I - Yes, Mother, I do. I shall never do this again.

    After hearing these words from the Mother I never tried to copy other calligraphic scripts again. The Mother was selecting some flowers from the tray to give to me as She looked at the notice once again and asked:

    Mother - How do you prepare these programmes every month?

    I - I do not prepare all the programmes. They are prepared by Sahana-di, sometimes by Tinkori-da or some other artist. Every month it is a different group of people. It is either these groups every month or I select and rearrange recordings from them and conduct the programme.

    Mother - Sahana, Tinkori are fine, they know music. What about the others who participate? What do they do? What do they sing?

    I - Except for a few, the others choose songs from existing records, good songs from well-known singers, and present these.

    Mother - I feel there is no real need for such a programme. You need to spend a lot of time in this. Besides, I find learning songs from pre-existing records not a very good idea. As you have already prepared this time, it is fine. From next month, there is no need to go on with it. Let's terminate this now.

    Thus, Sangeetmala came to an end. It had run for a few years. While it lasted, it infused the world of music at the Ashram with a great deal of enthusiasm and effort. There was a heightened sense of musical joy. The respected Nolini Sarkar-da, Monibishnu-da, Tinkori-da had a lot of praise for this work and always encouraged us in it. These musicians and several others wrote to the Mother telling Her that music in the Ashram had got a great boost through Sangeetmala and that it was doing very well. They requested Her to allow them

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to continue with it. This letter was sent through Nolini-da. A few days later, Nolini-da informed them that the Mother had said whatever She had to say to Shobha. And thus, the Mother did not change Her decision even after receiving their letter. Sangeetmala, therefore, came to a definite end.

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